by Barb Roose | Mar 27, 2018 | Christian Living/Discipleship, Joshua & Winning the Worry Battle
By Barb Roose
For most of my adult life, I thought that being a worrier was a sign that I cared about others.
If I worried about someone that meant that I cared about their safety and happiness. So, I would devote my mental energy to identifying all of the ways that my family or friends might miss optimum happiness, hurt or kill themselves. It didn’t matter if they were thinking about trying a new hairstyle or daring to attend a college across the country, I was going to point out everything that could possibly go wrong so that they could avoid a tragedy.
But, what happens to us when we spend our time thinking about all of the things that could hurt, harm or kill the people in our lives? Eventually, our minds get stuck in that kind of worst-case scenario thinking. Did you know that 85% of what we’re afraid of happening never actually happens? So, when you’re churning all of the “what-if” scenarios about your daughter going on a missions’ trip or your son heading off to college, 85% of what you are stressing out about won’t happen.
Why do we believe that worrying is a symbol of caring for others?
If we worry about people because we care about them, then why does worry only produce negative feelings in us? I don’t know about you, but the more I allowed myself to worry, the more trapped I felt in a world of worry. Instead of feeling happiness for the people that I loved, I began to only feel fear, which opposes and tries to suffocate the power of love.
Here are three ways that worry makes us feel crazy:
1. Worry pretends to be productive.
When nothing changes, you feel crazy because you thought that by worrying you were actually doing something to make positive change happen.
2. Worry doesn’t have to work hard work to take over your mind.
Worry feels like your subscription to Netflix. It’s always available and once you begin streaming WorryFlix, you end up binge-worrying your entire life before you know it.
3. Worry produces horrible feelings that stress you out during the day and keep you up at night.
Isn’t it amazing how something in your mind makes your body respond in real ways? While you’re imagining the worst, your heart is racing and you feel real fear. Have you ever finished worrying and REAL tears were streaming down your face? And it was all in your imagination…
How worry made me feel crazy and out of control…
Seventeen years ago, my battle with worry peaked when one of my kids was struggling at school. Her teacher sent home notes and we had numerous meetings. I loved my sweet girl, but my fear over her future consumed me. Dozens of “what if” worst case scenarios drove me crazy! For weeks, I stressed out over my child’s health during the day and I paced the floor because I couldn’t sleep at night. Like Jesus said in Matthew 6:27, all of my worries didn’t add a single quality moment to my life or my child’s life.
So, what changed? I had to admit that worry was my flawed way of playing God instead of taking the time to pray to God.
Then, I had to replace those places in my mind where worry got good and comfortable with God’s Word. I had to commit myself to filling my brain with Bible verses that spoke against worry like this one:
Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.
—1 Peter 5:7
If you’ve always been a worrier, can I suggest that you either memorize this verse or type it into your cell phone. Whenever worry tries to take up space in your life, allow God to use this verse to kick that worry out of your mind and replace it with peace. Trust me, it does work! But, you’ve got to put the work into it!
Do I still worry at times? Yes! I’ll always have to fight against worry, but I don’t have to live as a worrier.
When you know how to use God’s Word to win against worry, you will wake up energized every day and excited about life because you know that God will give you victory over any worry that comes your way. Don’t waste another day of your life fighting a losing worry battle!
Don’t waste another day of your life fighting a losing worry battle!
LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW: Are you a worrier? What things do you worry about most?
About Barb Roose…
Barb loves reaching women and teaching them to win at life with God-empowered strength and dignity. She is the author of multiple books and Bible studies, including April 2018 releases, Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle (Bible study) and Winning the Worry Battle. She is the host of the Better Together Podcast and loves diving into tough topics that women want to know. Barb and her husband, Matt, are the parents of three daughters. Barb loves Jesus, travel, her FitBit, chocolate-peanut butter ice cream, and fabulous high heel shoes.
by Barb Roose | May 25, 2015 | Christian Living/Discipleship, Women's Topics
I like to keep it real.
Why? Because it’s a compete waste of time for me to pretend that I’m all put together. My house is somewhat messy these days. I’m doing pretty well when it comes to making dinner, but where’s something tragic happening in my backyard. The weeds are winning, friends…
For the most part, I’m just trying to get through each day. Like you, I have happy days, cranky days, bossy days and sometimes, just plain ‘ole you-totally-don’t-want-to-be-around-Barb days. Yesterday, I spent the afternoon wearing dirty white socks and a bad attitude.
Sometimes, I get overwhelmed. Do you? When my life is full, that’s when the tears often overflow. I’m totally not complaining, but I hope that someone can relate to seasons of life that seem to hold more experiences that my tender heart can handle.
At times, I feel like I’m holding my life together with pieces of Scotch tape. Ever worked with Scotch tape? That stuff is so good when you’re taping paper together. However, Scotch tape is a fail if you want to join two items with any weight. That’s why Scotch tape needs to stick with paper and leave the heavy lifting to something better suited. No matter how hard we try, there is a limit to what Scotch tape can do.
Sometimes, it feels like I’m trying to fix the big, important things in life with my human effort, which often resembles Scotch tape. I can do a lot of things. But, when I’m faced with some situation that I can’t fix, my first reaction is to get mad.
from bucks.blogs.nytimes.com
What is the thing in your life that you can’t control? How do you react in that disappointing moment? How does your behavior impact your relationships and your faith?
A few months ago, I was getting frustrated over a number of situations that were out of my control. This lack of control led to disappointment and anger because what I expected didn’t match the reality of was truly happening.
After I journaled about those disappointments, I put an asterisk by the situations/events that I could control or improve. Out of seven disappointments, I could only place two asterisks. Ouch.
So, I realized I had two choices:
#1 – I could be perpetually ticked off about the situations that were out of my control;
#2 – OR, I would discipline myself to accept reality (I have no control!) and create a response to my disappointment that was consistent with reality.
Here is a phrase that I have decided to repeat when disappointment descends into my life:
Here are somethings that I try to remember:
1. Even when life is tough, I know God loves me and will take care of me. (Proverbs 3:5-6, Romans 8:31, Philippians 4:6-7)
2. God has a plan and purpose for my life. He’s in control, even when I am not. (Jeremiah 29:11)
3. Difficult circumstances are often what God uses to help me become a better, more faithful person. (Romans 5:3-5)
I don’t know what you are up against today, but I do know that there are disappointments that frustrate and anger you. I also know that dealing with disappointment is often as difficult as dealing with the situation. So, I’m going to challenge you to say this phrase: “God is in control and He will take care of it” the next time you are faced with an uncontrollable situation.
While the situation might be difficult to get through, you’ll be able to endure the difficulty with confidence in God and His ability to take care of things in a way that you never could.
If you need to let God be in control of something in your life, let us know how we can pray for you in the comments below.
Thanks for stopping by! If you think that this post would bless a friend, feel free to share it!
by Barb Roose | May 28, 2014 | Reflections
photo credit: https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/378800000582327361/91aa81bf907abab992a495c605b4c187.png
Lifehacks are strategies or life management techniques. I love lifehacks because they expand the potential of what I am already doing so that I can do life better. So, I thought I would put together my own list of lifehacks. Now, this list won’t make you a millionaire or get you a date Friday night (well, it might…), but these can definitely make a difference in your life today. Enjoy!
1. If a task takes two minutes or less to complete, DO IT NOW.
Each day, we are inundated with dozens of small tasks that add up to lots of headaches. For instance, I didn’t want to get up and take the laundry out of the washer and put it in the dryer. Why not? Because. When I finally took care of the task, I timed it. Guess how long it took? Two minutes. I spent 20 minutes doing other stuff (watching tv) to avoid it.
In many ways, we’re only two minutes away from de-stressing our lives and being more productive. How frustration could you eliminate if you took care of two-minute tasks right now? How many arguments could you avoid? How much money could you save?
So, make the phone call, return the email, pay the bill, schedule the appointment, etc.
DO IT NOW if it takes two minutes or less.
2. Let “It” Go
If you love the song from “Frozen,” please don’t start singing. I won’t be able to hear you and everyone else is over it. Seriously, I’ve only heard the song twice and I’m okay with not hearing it again. But, I do love the message of the song.
Do you realize that the phrase “let it go” is self-explanatory? So, why do we hold onto the things we should let go of?
photo credit: http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/vWHwSWkBjnY/maxresdefault.jpg
When we’re holding onto a hope, dream or experience that is holding us back or dragging us down, it’s often because we want to acknowledge the impact that hope, dream or experience on our lives. Failed marriage…lost job… unfilled dream…What we hold onto becomes a trophy or momento that we clutch to our hearts as a symbol of the truth of the event. This is what happened to me or what I hoped for. I’m holding onto it so that myself or others cannot deny it’s importance in my life.
But, that thing we won’t let go is getting old and outdated. We’re like a three-year old clinging to her mangled stuffed dolly. It’s missing an arm and both eyes, but little Becky will scream like a crazy person if you try to take it away. Even if you try to give her something better, little Becky will clamor to hold onto what she knows.
Don’t be like little Becky. Let it go, whatever it is. Friends, something better waits for you, but you’ve got to let go so that you can grab onto what’s in the future, instead of holding onto the past, let “It” Go.
3. Laugh
“Sometimes life gets so difficult that you just need to laugh about it.”
Friends, sometimes life gets so difficult that you HAVE to laugh. Don’t settle for a smile or giggle, do yourself a favor and stalk a gut-busting, howling laugh until you find one. You’re life will be much better for it.
Of course, I also think that Jimmy Fallon is always a great go-to for laughs! photo credit: http://splitsider.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Tonight-Show-Jimmy-Fallon-Poster-Crop.jpg
Not only does laughter force our bodies to relax, but the act of laughter makes us draw in extra oxygen and clears our mind. When they say laughter is good for you, they mean it! Don’t underestimate the power of laughter to help you cope on tough days.
By the way, my favorite go-to for laughs is watching classic television comedies. My favorite? The episode of “Friends” where Rachel and Monica lose their apartment to Joey and Chandler during the Quiz Bowl Game. What’s Joey’s favorite food? Sandwiches!
(And that quote was from Katy Perry. Don’t judge.)
4. Stop Complaining on Facebook
I just made some of you mad. (Feel free to post about it on Facebook.)
Here’s the thing: People don’t care about your bad day as much has you do. Yes, that’s harsh, but here’s the reason why: Many of your Facebook friends are having a bad day, too. They care about their bad day much more than they care about yours.
Let’s face it, all of our cars break down at inconvenient moments. We all get diarrhea at the wrong times. (Some of us have had those two things happen at the same time, right?) Every toddler pulls an angry all-nighter and we all wish we had more money at some point or another. So, in many ways, we’re all in the same boat.
Friends, it’s okay thing to share the ups and downs about your day or make a specific ask for help, but reconsider posting just to complain or mining for sympathy. (I’m assuming that we all know the difference…)
Here’s why you might reconsider those “Woe-is-me” posts: What your social media “friends” won’t tell you is that they don’t know what to do when they see your Tragedy-Ann status updates or tweets. Your “real” friends will give you a call or text to check on you, but the for the rest of us (aka “Facebook friends”), those posts are straight-up awkward for us. Why? We’re not sure what you want from us. Most of us are decent folk. We care about you and we’ll help if you ask us. Otherwise, your “oh-no-not-again” updates leave us feeling uneasy. Of course that’s TOTALLY NOT your intention, but unfortunately, it’s the result. Yes, you just want to vent about your day. Okay, so, you’ll feel better, but you risk making others feel a bit weird.
What should you do? Great question! If you’re having a bad day, inbox specific friends and tell them what’s up and ask them to pray for you. Then, when the situation resolves itself, share the situation and resolution on Facebook so that people can cheer the answered prayer and/or your perseverance through a tough time.
By the way, it’s perfectly okay to be on Facebook and Twitter and not tell people everything that is going on in your life. You’re not being fake, rather, you’re just being wise.
5. Do Something for Someone Else TODAY
If your life is boring or uninspired, you need to strike out and do something for someone else TODAY! Right now if you have the time! This will totally change your day (and give you something much more interesting to post about other than feeding your cat or telling us you are going to bed.)
One of the reasons that “Random Acts of Kindness” or “Pay-It-Forward” moments catch on is because people have an immediate opportunity to make a difference in simple ways. If you’ve ever been the recipient of a “Random Act of Kindness,” you know how wonderfully surreal it feels to be blessed by someone you don’t know, but appreciate. Now, imagine just how much cooler it is to be the person actually doing the act of kindness.
Some of you NEED to do this today. Why? Because you are drowning in yourself. But, if you want the direction of your life to rocket upward, then you need to start today. Goodness, opportunities are everywhere! Just do something, such as: anonymously pick up someone’s tab at a restaurant (and leave a great tip!), buy someone’s coffee in the car behind you, plant flowers in your neighbors yard, make a meal for your friends and drop it off – the opportunities are nearly endless. But, if you are struggling, here’s a link that you can use for more ideas: http://loveistheword.org/101-random-acts-of-kindness/ (Yes, some of them are a little cheesy, so if you can do better, go for it!)
So, this is my list of lifehacks that you can use today. Tell me what you think. Any other life hacks that should have made my life? Tell me your thoughts!
Thanks for reading (and if you think others might like this post, feel free to share it!)
