My Two Favorite Tools to Prevent Doing Too Much! I’m So Over It, Week Five

My Two Favorite Tools to Prevent Doing Too Much! I’m So Over It, Week Five

by | Aug 17, 2026 | I'm So Over It, Letting Go, Overwhelm, Peace

Happy Monday friends!
 
Before I begin today's devotion, I felt compelled to start with this important message:
 
You are so loved and seen my God, my friend. I don't know what's happening in your life, but maybe, God prompted your heart to open today's devotion so that you could be reminded about how much you matter to God. 
 
For some of you, this “I'm So Over It” series has been challenging because you've seen some places where God needs to grow your faith. At the same time, I never want you to lose track of how much God loves you - and how much you mean to me as well. 
 
I felt like I was supposed to share that with you!
 
Let's jump into our final week of the series. As I wrote last week’s devotion, I grappled with our scripture reading about how Jesus loved everyone, but he didn’t always help everyone who asked. That was tough for me, and it was tough teaching for many of you. If you didn’t read last week’s devotion or if you need to reprocess it again, you can read it here.
 
We'll wrap up talking this series on letting go of what God doesn't want you to carry by looking at with two practical tools. These can lead you to freedom from taking on more than you can handle! I use these tools and God has blessed me with more peace and wisdom. I want the same blessing for you!
 
SAYING “NO” FEELS TERRIBLE, BUT WHAT IS SAYING “YES” TOO OFTEN COSTING YOU?
For some of us, we were raised always to say “yes” when it pertains to church or our families. Yes, it's good to show up for family, but when we have the mindset that we always should say “yes," all of the time, that isn't healthy and it may not be God's best for us.
 
In our devotion last week, we saw how Jesus loved everyone, but because he knew his mission, he didn’t always say “yes” when people asked for help. Yes, we should help when we can, but when we say “yes” too much, it keeps us from having the time to be available for the things that God maybe calling us to do.
 
PROTECTING OURSELVES AGAINST DOING TOO MUCH
Let me share two tools that will equip you against taking on more than you can handle. One tool I created and the other tool has been around forever, but most of us aren't using it.
  1. MY “AM I OVER MY LIMIT?” QUESTIONS
God created us with emotional and physical limits. You have a limit, and I have a limit. We were not created to be everything to everybody. The problem is that we ignore our mental and physical limits or we don’t know how to assess them because we're too busy taking care of everyone else and we aren't aware of ourselves. 
 
When we’re unclear about our limits, we’ll often say “yes” to wonderful things. But too many wonderful things may turn us into exhausted wrecks. 
 
What do we do to prevent this: Here are the two crucial questions that I developed for myself. These wise  “limits” questions equip me to assess what season I'm in and these prompt me to be honest about whether I can handle more or if I need to focus on staying within my limits.
  1. Will you have time to nurture your relationship with God each day?
  2. Will you have time to take good care of yourself every day? (adequate sleep, rest, exercise, nourishment, invest in healthy relationships)
Given all of your current obligations, how would you answer those questions right now? If you can’t answer “yes” to both, then chances are, you’re over the limit for what is healthy spiritually or physically for you. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s true. Anytime we’re over our spiritual or physical limits, we’re setting ourselves up for discouragement, exhaustion, anxiety, depression, or worse, burnout.
 
By the way, if you can't answer “yes” to both questions, check out the “Creating a To-Don't List” online event that I'm hosting next Monday! Details are below.
 
Th good news is that once you recognize that you're over the limit, you can do something about it! The question is whether you will, which I encourage you to do so. (Start with attending my online event!)
 
As someone who lived over her limit for decades, I promise you that the best decision you’ll ever make for your spiritual, physical, and mental health is to bring your schedule and obligations to a place where you can answer “yes” to both of those questions. For me, it meant changing a career. And that hard choice was absolutely worth it.
 
2. “SHUT DOWN” DAY
Some of us don’t know how to stop moving. Others of us have never learned how to feel safe sitting still. The good news is that God has given us a practice tool to learn how to do both. Are you ready?
 
Sabbath.
 
Most all of us have been taught about sabbath. Yet, most Christian women have every excuse under the sun for why they don’t do it. God instituted the Sabbath and Jesus affirmed it. Yet, we’re too busy to do it.
 
I’ve never met a woman who is overloaded and still practices a true Sabbath.
 
 Why does God ask us to do this:
  • Sabbath trains our hearts to trust in God and learn to let go of our anxiety about the future;
  • Sabbath trains our minds to see that God will take care of the things beyond our control;
  • Sabbath trains our bodies to learn that resting is safe.
Some of us have never learned that we’re safe and accepted when we’re still. We’ve tied our security or self-esteem to always being busy. Sabbath is how God trains us to find safety and security in Him.
 
Friends, over fifteen years ago, Sabbath changed my life. Even now as I travel a lot and write lots of books, I am committed to one day off per week to honor God and rest my body. I’m self-employed in ministry, so Sabbath is an act of faith that God will take care of me when I’m not working.
 
YOUR CHALLENGE: This week, pick one day and clear the day from appointments/obligations, errands, or cleaning. Yes, you can still do basic care for older loved ones or childcare, but the sabbath goal is to eliminate the mental labor and errands. Spend your Sabbath doing things that make you feel joyful and alive, whether visiting with friends, making a meal, gardening, hobbies, or a nap.
 
I’D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU:  Friends, I’m praying that you’re listening to any of God’s nudging in your heart. Don't ignore it! Let Him lead you to more freedom and peace! If you need to reassess your limits, comment and type “Limit” or if you need to take a weekly day off, comment and write “sabbath.”

Read the Entire Series: God, I'm So Over It! Letting Go of Things That God Never Asked You to Carry

Week One: Do You Overthink? 

Week Two: Hope for Those Who Do Too Much! 

Week Three: Do You Often Take Matters Into Your Own Hands?

Week Four: Are You Overloaded with Too Much?

Letting Go of Shame with Toni Kim

Letting Go of Shame with Toni Kim

by | Aug 17, 2026 | Bold Brave & Beautiful Podcast

Have you ever wondered why you still feel shame even though you believe in grace? In this episode, Barb talks with Toni Kim, the director of spiritual care at the National Association of Evangelicals and former pastor of over twenty years  to talk about her new book, Shame Redeemed: Learning to Live in Christ's Freedom.

Toni unpacks the real difference between guilt and shame, why shame keeps so many faithful Christians stuck in hiding, and how God's lavish love invites us into healing instead of condemnation. Drawing on her own story as an Asian American woman in ministry, Toni brings wisdom about both the personal and communal sides of shame and practical ways to start living unashamed.

Don’t miss the part of the interview where Toni unpacks the well-known story of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden and how God still saw Adam and Eve as His children even though they failed and they were ashamed. This was Barb’s favorite part of the episode!

Has shame been a constant part of your life? If you've ever felt like you're not quite good enough for God's love, this conversation will remind you: shame doesn't get the final word. God’s love for you does.

Resources:

Connect with Toni Kim

Shame Redeemed: Learning to Live in Christ’s Freedom

About Our Guest:

Toni Kim is director of spiritual care at the National Association of Evangelicals. Previously, she served over twenty years as a pastor in Vancouver and Boston. Toni and her husband Walter currently live in Charlottesville, Virginia, and have two adult children.

Experience Life-Transforming Power of Prayer

Pray Like This Bible Study by Barb Roose

As a Christian, you know you’re supposed to pray. But do you ever find yourself wrestling with any of these questions related to prayer?

Do I have to pray the right way for God to answer my prayer?

Do I have to pray the right way for God to answer my prayer?

Am I still praying if I read pre-written prayers?

If you’ve pondered these questions or others about prayer, my Pray Like Bible Study is for you.

Even if you're a prayer warrior, Pray Like This sharpens your prayer focus and is a great resource for you to teach others about prayer.There's a reason why Jesus was passionate about prayer and I want to show you how!

Click Here
Are You Overloaded with Too Much? I’m So Over It, Week Four

Are You Overloaded with Too Much? I’m So Over It, Week Four

by | Aug 10, 2026 | I'm So Over It, Letting Go, Overwhelm, Peace

Happy Monday everyone,
 
Regular readers, will you join me in welcoming a new big group of ladies to our Happy Monday community? If you're new here, we're thrilled to have you! I write this weekly devotion to help you start your week with Jesus and a smile. 
 
We're almost done with our current series, “I’m So Over It!” (You can read the previous weeks at the bottom of this letter.) In addition to a weekly fun quiz, we've drawn wisdom from various Bible stories to help us see where God wants us to experience more of His peace and less stress.
 
Ready for today's topic: OVERLOAD. It's quiz time! Reminder: If your score is higher than you’d like, consider that a gentle nudge from God to pay close attention to today's devotion. 
WHAT’S BEHIND OUR CHRONIC OVERLOAD?
For much of my life, “overload” was my middle name. When God began dealing with me about why the “reason-behind-the-reason” that I stayed busy 24/7, I discovered five uncomfortable “whys” that fuel chronic overwhelm for many Christian women. Which ones resonate with you?
  1. We love being needed.
  2. We want things done a certain way, so we don’t like to allow anyone’s help.
  3. We assume responsibility for people or things that aren’t our responsibility.
  4. We use our contributions or accomplishments to build our self-worth.
  5. We don’t know how to say “no” or express healthy personal boundaries.
Do you have any others to add? Which ones could you relate to? 
 
Let me add that for Christian women, there can be lots of blurry lines. Many Christian women struggle with saying “no” when people at church, especially the pastor. If no one has told you this, it maybe helpful to know that you should ask for time to pray and discern before saying “yes,” even if the pastor or another leader asks you. 
 
HOW DID JESUS AVOID OVERLOAD?
We're in the gospel of Mark today! The following Bible study is challenging, but needed, especially if you love helping people, but you've been doing too much lately.
 
At the beginning of Mark’s gospel, word about Jesus has spread. It's helpful to know that Mark's gospel focuses on Jesus as a servant. There's a lot of ministry action in Mark. Fun fact: the word “immediately” appears over thirty times in the New King James Version of Mark's gospel. So, Jesus stayed busy!
 
Mark.1 records how people traveled to hear from Jesus teach. Then, they stayed to seek healing from ailments and diseases that many couldn’t find relief from any other way. Here's how Jesus handled himself:
 
Before daybreak the next morning, Jesus got up and went out to an isolated place to pray. Later Simon (Peter) and the others went out to find him. When they found him, they said, “Everyone is looking for you.” -Mark 1:35-37 NLT
 
Even though a crowd waited for him and he was very popular, Jesus began his day by tending to his need to connect with God.
 
As Jesus spent time with God, it's not hard to imagine that Jesus reaffirmed his clarity on what to do and what not to do. Do you do ask God for clarity on everyday matters? 
 
I believe that we have freedom to seek God at a time during the day that makes sense. You don’t need to become legalistic about only mornings. But I do believe that before you look at your to-do list or your calendar, you should spend time with God. It can make all the difference to look at what you have to do after He realigns your heart and mind versus looking at it through your cram-it-in lens.
 
Next, here is how Jesus responded to Simon. It's shocking! 
 
But Jesus replied, “We must go on to other towns as well, and I will preach to them, too. That is why I came.” -Mark 1:38 NLT
 
Wait! What about the people? Jesus knew that many people needed him for earthly healing and relief. Yet, Jesus operated from a heavenly perspective. While some people would not receive what they wanted in that moment, but Jesus ultimately gave everyone what they needed through his sacrifice.
 
THAT’S CHALLENGING TEACHING, ISN’T IT?
Let’s review the radical way that Jesus lived: 
  1. Jesus took care of himself before addressing the needs of everyone else.
  2. He turned down the request to stay even though the people asked him to.
  3. Jesus did not help or heal everyone who sought him out.
  4. There’s no record of Jesus beating himself up or feeling guilty.
REFLECT OF THIS: Jesus loved people. We know that Jesus gave his life for them. At the same time, loving people didn’t mean that Jesus said yes to everything that every person asked him to do, even the people closest to him.
 
Because Jesus had clarity on what his mission was, he didn't tie his love for people into an obligation to step into every single person’s problem or situation. 
 
Read that last sentence again.
 
What do we do this? How do we apply what Jesus models to our lives? Stay tuned! We'll continue this conversation next week with practical tools on how to say “no” without guilt, learn spiritual tools that lead to freedom and more! Make sure to join me so we can grow into God's best for us together. 
 
I’D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU! How did you do on the quiz? What did you think about today's teaching, especially realizing that Jesus didn't help everyone who came asking? 

Read the Entire Series: God, I'm So Over It! Letting Go of Things That God Never Asked You to Carry

Week One: Do You Overthink? 

Week Two: Hope for Those Who Do Too Much! 

Week Three: Do You Often Take Matters Into Your Own Hands?

Week Five: My Two Favorite Tools to Prevent Doing Too Much!

Do You Often Take Matters Into Your Own Hands? I’m So Over It, Week Three

Do You Often Take Matters Into Your Own Hands? I’m So Over It, Week Three

by | Aug 3, 2026 | I'm So Over It, Letting Go, Overwhelm, Peace

Hi friends,
 
Happy Monday to all of you, including our new friends!  I’m thrilled that you’re here!
 
It’s week three of our series, “I’m So Over It.” We're looking at the four different types of overwhelm and how God may be trying to grab our attention so we can live in more peace and less stress. In week one, we discussed overthinking, and last week, we addressed over-functioning. (You can read those devotions at the end of this week's devotion.)
 
This week’s topic is OBSESSING. Do you tend to obsess? Here’s another quiz - and remember, don't beat yourself up! 
There’s nothing wrong with desiring good, even godly things like wanting our loved ones to know Jesus. We may long for physical healing or to experience a shift in one of our relationships. However, when we’re obsessed with how things should be, the danger is that we often become impatient when our prayers aren't answered according to our timing.
 
For example, take the Old Testament couple Abraham and Sarah, who spent years waiting for  God to keep His promise to give them a child. However, there seems to be a point at which Abraham and Sarah allowed their obsession with having a child to cause them to jump ahead of God’s timeline, resulting in significantly more stress and overwhelm than they bargained for.
 
I’m sharing their story today because I think there’s a little Abraham and Sarah in all of us: When we become obsessed with what we want, we must avoid the temptation to take matters into our own hands.
 
In Genesis 12, God told Abraham that He would make then-Abram into a great nation and all the people of the world would be blessed through him.  In Genesis 15, Abram questioned that promise because he didn’t have a son. God reassured Abram that a child was coming. Here’s Abram’s response in Genesis 15:6:
 
And Abram believed the Lord, and the Lord counted him as righteous because of his faith. - Genesis 15:6 NLT
 
In that moment, Abram had a bedrock, unshakeable belief. Perhaps you've heard, “God said it, so I believe it.”  That's how we want to live, right? But then, time goes on and nothing happens. 
 
In Genesis 16, the attention shifts to his wife, Sarai. She's impatient because there's no child yet. Abram agreed to his wife’s scheme to take matters into their own hands to produce the baby that God already promised. They forced their servant Hagar into a slave surrogacy. This wasn’t God’s plan. God doesn’t fulfill His promises through manipulation or prompting us to use controlling behaviors.
 
While I acknowledge Abram and Sarai’s lack of faith in that moment, I have compassion for all the years of their infertility-related heartache. Still, their obsession put them on a collision course with many years of unneeded pain. After Hagar became pregnant, there was abuse on all sides (Genesis 16: 4-7). After Hagar’s son, Ishmael, was born, that innocent little boy grew up in a home that held the tensions and likely resentments of adults who tried to play God and got burned.
 
Yet, through it all, God remained faithful to His promise. Fourteen years later, when Abram was 100 years old, a post-menopausal Sarai gave birth to their covenant miracle son, Isaac (Genesis 21:5).  In the end, Abraham and Sarah received their miracle baby, but relationships were damaged along the way.
 
WHY DO WE TAKE MATTERS INTO OUR OWN HANDS?
It's usually one or more of these three reasons:
  1. God seems to be taking too long, and our hearts ache so much that we can’t stand it.
  2. We panic when we think of all the worst-case scenarios if what we’re praying for doesn’t happen.
  3. We’re afraid that God won’t give us what we’ve set our hearts on.
 
As you look at those three reasons, which one seems most relatable to you?
 
Just like I have compassion for Sarah, I have compassion for anyone who can relate to one of these three reasons. We don't have to beat ourselves for wanting something, but it should also prompt us to seek God’s help instead of going our own way. God invites us to share how hard it is to wait. In Psalm 13, where King David says, “How long, LORD?” four times in that one psalm! David poured his aching heart out, and that leads me to believe that God welcomes our lament and confusion when we’re in long waiting seasons as we're encouraged to keep trusting Him.
 
MY GO-TO PRAYER WHEN I’M TEMPTED TO HELP GOD OUT…
If you have a little Abraham and Sarah's impatience inside of you, then this is where God desires for you to surrender that deep desire or obsession to Him. There’s a brief prayer from my Stronger Than Stress Bible study that helps you step into trusting God. 
 
Here it is: God, I can’t. But You can. I will let You. Amen.
 
Do you need to pause right now and offer up that prayer? This maybe the most important prayer you pray today, especially if you've already been cooking up plans to deal with someone or something that is best left up to God. Stop now and pray!
 
MY OWN PERSONAL JOURNEY…
I’ve prayed for a spouse over five years. After fighting for my first marriage for many years, God healed my heart after my long, sad divorce. I was surprised that I would have a healthy desire for a second chance at love and marriage. But, the road hasn’t been easy. Either I’ve been criticized for wanting to remarry, told that I’m too old, too tall, or rejected because I’m abstinent until marriage (which has been the biggest issue by far!), waiting on God amid this deep desire has been hard. Yet, this journey continues to draw me closer to God as I wait instead of taking matters into my own hands.
 
I know that many of you can’t relate to my specific situation, even though some of you can. Maybe you’re wrestling with a desire to purchase a particular house, car, or possession, but the finances aren’t there yet. Perhaps your spouse isn’t going to church, and you’re tempted to use manipulation, nagging, or guilt to get them to attend. Some of you are navigating a long infertility journey like my daughter, Sami, and you've been praying for years for children. Whatever it is, there will always be a temptation to take a shortcut and grab what God hasn’t given to you yet. Getting what we want can't fill us like only God can.
 
PRACTICAL THINGS THAT HAVE HELPED ME
While there are seasons when I handle the longing desire better than others, I’ve chosen to anchor my soul into these words from Psalms 84:11:
 
The Lord will withhold no good thing
   from those who do what is right.
 
This psalm doesn’t promise that God will give us whatever we want, rather, the psalmist reminds us that God will not withhold all the goodness that comes from His nature as our Abba Father and Almighty God. When we fix our minds onwho God is  and live like we trust Him, we receive God's best for us right now. Here's what anchors my spirit when my feelings are all over the place:
 
I am receiving God’s best for me right now because God is with me at all times.
 
Here are three practical ways to live out trusting God while we wait:
  • Instead of lying awake all night thinking of how to get what we want, we turn on a worship song and focus on God so we can rest in His peace (Isaiah 26:3).  
  • Instead of thinking of worst-case scenarios if it doesn’t turn out as we’d hope, we practice gratitude and remember God’s faithfulness (Lamentations 3:22-23).
  • If we’re afraid we won’t get what we’d hoped for, we replay God’s promises and remember that He never withholds any good thing from us (Psalm 84:11).
 
I’D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU! What was your score on today's quiz? You can leave a comment and let me know. What has weighed heavy on your heart lately that you need to surrender to God? If today's devotion resonated with you, feel free to leave a comment with “surrender" so I'll know!

Read the Entire Series: God, I'm So Over It! Letting Go of Things That God Never Asked You to Carry

Week One: Do You Overthink? 

Week Two: Hope for Those Who Do Too Much! 

Week Four: Are You Overloaded with Too Much?

Week Five: My Two Favorite Tools to Prevent Doing Too Much!

When Your Mental Health Messes with Your Faith | Interview with Dr. Jean Lee Neely

When Your Mental Health Messes with Your Faith | Interview with Dr. Jean Lee Neely

by | Aug 3, 2026 | Bold Brave & Beautiful Podcast

So many Christians struggle with mental health, and yet we still struggle to talk about it without shame. If you’ve ever struggled with anxiety, depression or sadness because no one understands, this episode is for you.

In this honest and deeply compassionate conversation, Barb is joined by author Jean Neely to discuss her book Christ in the Abyss: Cultivating Deep Faith amid Depression and Despair. Drawing from her own decades-long journey with mental health challenges, Jean offers a powerful reminder: God’s presence isn’t reserved for when we feel strong—it meets us right in the depths of our pain.

Together, they explore how Christians can approach depression and mental health with honesty and faith, what to do when struggles begin to shake your beliefs, and how to navigate doubt when God feels silent. This episode offers reassurance that God sees you and loves you, even at your lowest points.

 

RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE

Connect with Jean on Facebook

Connect with Jean on Instagram

Christ in the Abyss: Cultivating Deep Faith amid Depression and Despair

Visit Jean's Website

Read from Jean's Substack

ABOUT OUR SPECIAL GUEST

Jean Lee Neely is a Korean American writer and educator. She has degrees in comparative literature from the University of California, Irvine and Sorbonne University in Paris and a PhD in English literature from the University of Southern California. Jean writes regularly on issues of mental health and faith for Faith and Leadership, a resource from the Duke Divinity School for Christian leaders. She has also written for Sojourners, Inheritance, the Asian American Christian Collaborative (AACC), and Christians for Social Action. She has taught seminars on navigating the intersections of faith, spiritual formation, and mental health for college students and Christian faculty. She lives in Southern California with her husband and son.

Experience Life-Transforming Power of Prayer

Pray Like This Bible Study by Barb Roose

As a Christian, you know you’re supposed to pray. But do you ever find yourself wrestling with any of these questions related to prayer?

Do I have to pray the right way for God to answer my prayer?

Do I have to pray the right way for God to answer my prayer?

Am I still praying if I read pre-written prayers?

If you’ve pondered these questions or others about prayer, my Pray Like Bible Study is for you.

Even if you're a prayer warrior, Pray Like This sharpens your prayer focus and is a great resource for you to teach others about prayer.There's a reason why Jesus was passionate about prayer and I want to show you how!

Click Here

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