Three years ago today that I backed up a 18’ U-Haul truck down a narrow alley behind a newly renovated apartment building.
It was over 90 degrees that day, so I couldn’t really tell the difference between my sweat and my tears.
When I took French in school, we learned the phrase “C’est la vie” which is translates “such is life.” This phrase is used when life doesn’t go as planned.
Three years ago today was never in my plans.
The addiction that robbed our family of its wholeness and then came back and suffocated us until we had to leave wasn’t in my plans.
Leaving my home of over 20 years where I raised my kids was never in my plans.
The divorce, starting my life over at 45 alone, still attending family addiction recovery support meetings…none of that was never in my plans.
C’est la vie.
No doubt, you’ve got a few days on the calendar in your life that didn’t go as planned. Maybe right now, you’re in a life-or-death grip, holding on to someone or something that you’re trying to keep together…but it’s tearing you apart.
The best that you can give yourself in life’s “C’est la vie” moments is the Gift of Surrender.
Surrender isn’t giving up.
Surrender isn’t giving in.
Surrender is a gift that we give ourselves.
We surrender when we give over what we love or care about to God because we finally humbly accept that only He can handle it.
Surrender is your only path to peace.
Today, there is still grief and sadness in remembering, but in my living there is blessed shalom. Over the years, God has been abundantly faithful to His promise to give me the peace that truly does blows my mind.
God’s love held me together when I was falling apart.
God has provided more than I could ask or imagine.
He healed the heartache.
He surrounded me with the support that I needed.
God wants to do the same for you. Is there something that you’re trying to hold together, but it’s tearing you apart?
What or who do you need to surrender today?
If you need a simple prayer, you can use this: God, I can’t, but You can and I will let you. Amen.
Hi, Barb! I’d love to know how you made the decision to divorce. I just retained a lawyer and it is surreal to think of leaving my 23 year marriage and home where we raised our boys, but here I am at 51 struggling with the task of starting over. My soul hurts, but I’m also so angry – mostly because i’ve worked so hard to make things work given his alcohol and smoking addictions, violent outbursts, lack of communication and narcissistic behaviors. I feel like God is telling me this is the time (restraining order due to DV charges) because normally I give in and believe Things will get better, but the cycle always starts over. How do you know if the fear and anxiety is due to making the wrong decision or grieving the loss of everything we’ve worked for…we just paid the house off and now my plans to retire early are gone. However, he is getting worse and I just can’t put myself in that situation again. I keep wondering if I could have been a better wife and prevented this…any insight is appreciated. I started your Stronger Than Stress church series at the recommendation of my therapist and also have audio book that I’ve started. Thank you, Amy
Hi Amy, my apologies for the delay – I’m so very sorry that you are in the midst of the heart-wrenching situation. Yes, all of those emotions – anger, grief, sadness – it’s all so real. It’s also really hard to accept that your plans for the future may not look like how you’d thought, even as you worked so hard for many years. I still have to work through that, too. I cling to knowing that someone else’s decisions/choices can’t stop God from taking care of us. While we grieve the consequences that aren’t always fair, God will not fail you. He will redeem far beyond what you’ve lost. I don’t know what that will look like, but He will not let you down.