.On this episode of Better Together Facebook Live, Kia Stephens, founder of The Father Swap Blog stopped by to talk with us about “father wounds” or the emotional pain and loss that comes from a daughter’s broken relationship with her father. 

Not only does Kia share her own difficult journey with her father,  this episode became unexpectedly emotional for me as well. According to Kia, “father wounds” inflict a daughter’s soul when her father is absent due to abandonment, divorce, incarceration, addiction or even if he is present, but emotionally detached or unavailable. 

This loss is felt deeply, no matter a daughter’s age. So, acknowledging and addressing this painful ache is vital for a woman’s emotional, spiritually and relational well-being. Kia spent years walking her healing journey, which centered around the idea that God is and always will be her unconditionally-loving Father

Watch as Kia shares the three essential principles that women of all ages need to understand if they want God to heal the emotional and spiritual damage. 

Here’s a quick recap of the three principles that equip a woman to begin her healing journey:

  • Principle #1:  Being Rejected Says More About the Rejector than the Rejectee
  • Principle #2:  Expectations Precede Disappointment
  • Principle#3:  My Dad is Not God

 While emotional, this episode is filled with hope and practical next steps. We didn’t talk about this in the episode, but Kia also has a “Forgiveness Letter” tool that she used and now shares with other women to equip them to engage in the forgiveness process, whether or not their father is involved in their life or not. (Kia also explains what forgiveness is AND isn’t, which is so important!)  

Links from today’s episode:

There is a place in the female soul reserved for Daddy, or a daddy figure, that will yearn for affirmation.  Not every girl or woman is the same, of course, but almost every girl desires a close bond with this most significant man in her life.  She will adore him if he loves and protects her and if she finds safety and warmth in his arms.  She will feel that way throughout life unless he disappoints her or until one of them dies.  She will tend to see all men through the lens of that relationship.  If he rejects and ignores her or worse, if he abuses and abandons her, the yearning within her becomes more intense, though it is often tainted with resentment and anger.”

-Dr. James Dobson

About Our Guest Kia Stephens…

Kia Stephens is a wife and homeschooling mom of two who is passionate about encouraging the hearts of women.   For this reason she created The Father Swap Blog to help women exchange their father wounds for the love of God the Father.

Kia is also the founder of Entrusted Women, which she created to equip Christian women communicators of color. Kia’s writing has been featured on iBelieve.com, Beloved Women, Proverbs 31 Ministries, Crosswalk and Incourage. In addition to these ministries, Kia faithfully serves in Bible Study Fellowship and her local church. When she is not writing or serving women, she enjoys spending quality time with her family and friends. You can learn more about Kia at www.kiastephens.com.


Better Together host Barb Roose is a popular speaker and author with a passion to help women live beautifully strong and courageous in Jesus’ name. She’s the author of multiple books and Bible studies, including Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus and Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle. Visit Barb’s online home at barbroose.com.

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