There Is Nothing Wrong with You: A Valentine’s Day Message for Single Christian Women

I don’t need a calendar to know when Valentine’s Day is near—my heart reminds me. Just like a woman struggling with infertility feels the weight of Mother’s Day approaching, single women often feel the sting of a holiday meant to celebrate love. It’s a long 24 hours watching the world pair up, even in unhealthy relationships, while we wonder if we’ll ever find “The One.”

If you’re married or happily single, this message isn’t for you. I’m speaking to my single Christian sisters who feel unseen, unheard, and unloved on this day. Let me say what you know deep down but need to hear aloud: There is nothing wrong with you.

The Pressure on Christian Single Women

Too often, single Christian women are bombarded with messages about why they’re still single:

• “You’re too picky.”

• “Maybe if you lost weight…”

• “At your age, maybe you should lower your expectations.”

• “You shouldn’t have let him go, even if he cheated.”

• “Maybe this is God’s punishment for some of the mistakes you’ve made.”

Christian single women live with conflicting messages. There’s pressure to find someone and settle down, but the criticized if she expresses sadness or frustration along the way. No one would tell a woman struggling with infertility, “Not everyone is meant to be a mother,” yet single women hear similar dismissive remarks about marriage.

So let me say it again: There is nothing wrong with you.

• There is nothing wrong with desiring marriage.

• There is nothing wrong with having standards and boundaries, even if it means getting ghosted.

• There is nothing wrong with rejecting situationships or men who aren’t serious.

• There is nothing wrong with upholding a biblical sexual ethic, despite what culture—or even some Christian men—say.

• There is nothing wrong with being the last of your friends to marry.

• There is nothing wrong with never having been married, even if you thought it would’ve happened by now.

Your singleness isn’t a curse, a punishment, or even just “a season.” It is a part of your journey, and it is not less valuable than anyone else’s.

The Gift of Shalom

What you need today is shalom—God’s peace, a deep wholeness of heart and mind. His shalom cancels the lie that you are lacking something. Too many of us believe we can’t be whole without a relationship, and when we don’t have one, we assume something is wrong with us. But God’s love completes you in a way no human relationship ever can.

When you walk in God’s wholeness, you no longer settle for low-effort men or chase relationships to feel validated. By the way, if you are in a toxic relationship or in a relationship with a man whose actions aren’t consistent, respectful or bring out the best in your, let that man go. God’s wholeness is big enough to heal your heart and to hold you until you meet the right man or if you’ll walk out life on your own.

Let God’s Love Define You

Ready to shift your mindset.

Instead of: There is something wrong with me.

Shift to: God’s wholeness completes me.

Instead of chasing human love, let yourself be pursued by God’s perfect love. Your relationship status does not determine God’s goodness toward you. He is with you, for you, and He will never fail or leave you.

You are God’s beautiful, lovable, capable daughter. You don’t need a man to be confident in Christ. And no matter what has happened in your past—or even if it’s always just you—nothing will stop God from giving you His best.

There is nothing wrong with you, my friend.

Be loved, Beloved.

Join the Conversation: What’s the best advice you’ve received about being single and Christian? Any encouragement for those struggling this week?

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