Today is one of those days in my life when I used to celebrate something special. 

We all have those days.

It’s the days that you used to buy gifts for, send out invitations to or mark the dates off on your calendar until that one special day arrives filling your heart with joy, anticipation or butterflies.

The pandemic has sharpened our sense of grief and loss. So, you’re not alone if you’re feeling like the anniversary of a loved one’s death or the loss of something in your life seems to feel heavier this year.

Even when we’re not paying attention to the approaching date on the calendar, our body knows. We can just feel it, like I did two weeks ago.

Today used to be the day when I celebrated my wedding anniversary. This year would have been 28 years. However, my divorce was final in November 2019 – which feels like a lifetime ago because of the pandemic, right? So, this is the first year that July 18 doesn’t mean what it used to mean in my life. (If you’re new to my Better Together audience and wondering about I’m talking about, you can read more by clicking here.)

Earlier this week, I pre-taped some segments for an upcoming interview with my dear friend, Shari Braendel’s Style Tips with Shari Channel on YouTube. We’ll discuss single Christian women fashion advice for dating. Subscribe to Shari’s YouTube channel so that you don’t miss the interview coming up later this month!
Over the past few years between the final separation and the divorce, which took about 18 months,  God gently and graciously walked me through different phases of the healing process. I’ve benefitted so much from counseling, Al-Anon, accountability partners, Divorce Care group and more. While I’ll never forget what this date used to mean in my life, the wounds have healed and I have tremendous peace. 

God healed me, but I had to be willing to let go of what used to be. Surrender is truly the path to peace. I love C.S. Lewis’ words, “You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.”

There are two principles that I use to coach myself when I think about the past:

1. I can look back at the past, but I don’t want to stare too long. I need to focus my thoughts, energy and effort on NOW where God is present and still blessing me.
2. I believe that God’s not done with me, so if I’m holding onto the past too hard, I won’t have room for whatever else God wants to do in my life. 

Do either of these principles resonate with you today? If so, tell me about it. You can email me or reach out on social media.

By the way, if letting go is a struggle for you, I recently announced my new devotional book, Surrendered: 40 Devotions to Help You Let Go and Live Like Jesus will be released this September. This is a wonderful bedside devotional or a perfect gift for someone that you know who’s going through a hard time. You know that I love sharing God’s hope and truth with others. This book is filled with it! Pre-order a copy for yourself and order a copy to send to a friend.

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