Last week, I saw this updated version of Your Plan Vs. Reality meme on Facebook. The classic version from a few years ago didn’t have flames, spider webs or sharks, but life has changed dramatically since 2020, right? Yet, the message is still the same. We have the expectation that life will be smooth and predictable. Life keeps proving that twists and turns are a part of every journey.
We have a choice: We can get better or bitter when life twists in a way that we don’t like.
Today, I invite you to learn some lesson from a woman whose life didn’t turn out as she’d hoped. She became bitter, but eventually, she got better.
Her story resonates with me because I spent a lot of my life believing that if I worked hard, trusted God and put my grocery store cart back after unloading my groceries, then life shouldn’t throw me any big curve balls.
In fact, I’ve told God on many occasions that I’m not a big fan of curve balls. I want life to be gentle. I’d love to know what’s coming and plenty of time to figure things out. Who’s with me?
In the book of Ruth, we meet Naomi as her life is in shambles. Her husband is dead and so are her sons. Naomi lives far from her home in Bethlehem and now, she needs to go back to pick up the pieces of her life again. If you want to read all of Naomi’s story, today’s a good day to do that! The book of Ruth is only four chapters long and contains a sweet love story, too. If you can’t, I’m here to give you a cliff notes version with some thoughts for you today:
I remember feeling like Naomi years ago. I’d been married for 25 years when over the course of one year, I had to move out of my home, my husband didn’t want to be married anymore and my father and father-in-law died. I’d wake up in the morning and beg God to bring my old life back because nothing was like before and it all hurt too much.
Life falls apart for all of us. Some of you have been there – more than once. Some of you have written me about lives out of control or unwanted changes. How do you wake up and keep going without getting bitter like Naomi? Maybe you wouldn’t say that you are bitter, but you know that your fellowship with God has been broken. You’ve distanced yourself from God – and you blame Him.
When Life Isn’t Going As Planned:
- Don’t push away the people who love you and want to help you.
Naomi does her best to shoo away daughters-in-law, Ruth and Orpah, who want to say with Naomi. She thinks that she’s bad luck, “Things are far more better for me than for you, because the LORD himself is raised his fist against me” (Ruth 1:11 NIV). Thankfully, Ruth is tenacious, and Naomi relents. Later, Naomi realizes that Ruth was God’s provision for Naomi even as Naomi was too angry to see it at the time.
REFLECTION: Who are the people in your life that God could be sending to help you? Do you need to stop pushing them away? Be humble and say “yes” when loving people offer to help.
- Take Your bitterness TO God, Not Make Your Bitterness About Him
Here’s what Naomi said to the women in Bethlehem who welcomed her back home: “Don’t call me Naomi, instead call me Mara, for the Almighty has made life very bitter for me. I went away full, but the Lord has brought me home empty” (Ruth 1:20).
You know what I appreciate here, Naomi is honest. She’s not trying to spread super-spiritual topping over the devastation of her life. The issue is that Naomi hadn’t taken her anger to God. When you’re angry at God, but not talking to Him, that bitterness will poison you inside out and you’ll drive people away with your anger and negativity. When you bring your bitterness to Him, God helps you work through it to healing.
ACTION STEP: Be honest WITH God about your anger and disappointment. Actually say the words: “God, I’m bitter and angry that You let ___________ happen.” He can handle it.
- Keep Your Eyes Open to God’s Grace
Ruth begins working in a man named Boaz’s fields. Naomi perks up because Boaz is a distant relative and perhaps for the first time, Naomi senses hope. “May the LORD bless him. He is showing his kindness to us as well as to your dead husband” (Ruth 1:20). Naomi saw the blessing and grace of Ruth working up in the field of a family member who watches out for Ruth. Naomi chooses to see God at work and that begins to change something in her.
REFLECTION: God’s grace is in your life somewhere. Take time today to look for it. Are you willing to acknowledge that even in a hard place of anger or grief, that God is still providing for you – even if it isn’t what you want?
There’s so much more to learn from Naomi! The speedy version is that eventually, she coaches Ruth on how to capture Boaz’s attention. Ruth and Boaz fall in love, which also means that Naomi’s security, family and future are restored.
Today’s devotional isn’t a 1-2-3 easy answer if your life has been heartbreaking or hard. Rather, these brief thoughts are intended to be a flash of hope so that you know that God hasn’t forgotten you, especially if you’ve been wondering why your life hasn’t gone as planned.
Like Naomi, I’ve experienced the restoration of security and hope, even though God has provided in a way that I hadn’t expected. He will do the same for you. God is a gracious God of restoration and renewal.
JOIN THE CONVERSATION: Was your life turned out different than you planned? What was hard for you? How did you see God’s mercy or grace in your life?
I felt God call me into ministry & left everyone I knew to follow that call. Got married. Both didn’t go the way I thought. Was serving in The Salvation Army for 16 years but I was asked to leave many time because God told me to do things that wasn’t what Army want. I was God’s person & The Salvation Army was just where God had placed me. My husband never loved me after 26 abusive years & 3 children latter he left & told me he’d never loved me. We left ministry after 16 years due to damage caused to our children by abusive home life & constant moving.
4 years later another man came into my life but sadly recently that has gone well & is over. I’ve lost my ministry, health, & now live alone. I love God & wait on Him for what’s next for me. Patience I’ve needed plenty of it.
Judy, thank you for sharing your story with us today. It’s been a long hard road for you, hasn’t it? My heart hurts for the losses that you’ve experienced. I don’t know what the next season of your journey looks like, but we know that God is faithful. There are no easy answers, we can be confident that He’s not done with you and there is hope and healing yet to come in His timing.
I have seen God’s grace and provision in my life. He has given me more than I could ever imagine. I came to this country as a young girl, was molested, then later got pregnant and the “boyfriend” wanted no child no family. I was left alone. I moved across the country alone and pregnant to get away from the man who beat me brutally wanted me to have a miscarriage. I started over alone but people helped, took me under their wings and loved me. I gave birth to a beautiful girl, raised her alone and made more mistakes, had boyfriends and even a relationship with a married man. That last relationship made me hit rock bottom and I wanted to died, meanwhile my mother was dying of breast cancer back in my country and I didn’t have the resources to go back and visit her and see her one last time. But God had sent a woman here in the US who loved me as a daughter and her love carried me through it. Then she died three yrs. Later… I was so hurt and sad. But I met a wonderful man who became a father to my now 12 yr old daughter, we married, now have another child, my sweet boy and I thank God every day for his loving grace. He has provided. My daughter is in college and I am thankful.
Jackeline, your story honors the story of Ruth and Naomi in such a powerful, courageous way. You’ve allowed yourself to see where God has been there for you, even when you weren’t ready for His help. I admire your courage in sharing your story and the journey that you’ve been on.
Thank you Barb for providing this platform for all of us to voice our pain and to show each other that the God we serve is greater than any tragedy and his live will heal any wound.
My husband of only 8 yrs. was diagnosed with Lewy Body dementia 3 yrs. ago which was not what I expected. I am caring for him in our home. I have been so disappointed and have distanced myself from the Lord. He is 14 yrs. older than me and I want so much to be able to have a “normal” life. I see God’s grace and mercy in my life through our sweet church family who cares so much for us. I have to consciously remind myself of all the other times in my life that God has seen me through some very rough times and provided for me to the fullest. Thank you, my sister in Christ, for reminding me of the story of Naomi and Ruth today. God knew what I needed and He used you to provide it.
Carolyn, I’m so glad that you joined us for today’s Happy Monday devotional and for sharing your story. I ache for the loss of the dreams that you had with your husband. Your grief and disappointment is understandable, but at the same time, I love that you can see God’s provision and love through your church. You are keeping your eyes open to God’s grace and mercy and He will continue to pour it out on you each day.
Wow, this was right on time. My life definitely turn out different than I had planned, same here after almost 30 years he decided that he didn’t want to be married anymore…Gathering are somewhat awkward because it reminds me of how our family was destroyed I have peace and God gas brought me through with more than I could ever imagine. God is a restorer he we vindicate you and always Bless you far above your wildest expectations I’m a living witness.But I still have some days of past memories ✨️.
Amy, I’m so sorry -it’s so painful when a spouse walks away and life changes in an instant. Yes, those memories are there and they can be painful scars at times, but I love how you live in God’s peace and trust in His restorative power for you life. Your words will be an encouragement for others today.
When my husband and I got married it was great. We had son and decided to move from Idaho to Washington because we both love the water. My husband’s dream was to take people out fishing for a living. Well, that didn’t happen right away because of licensing issues. So, he continued in his line of work roofing. He had fallen off the roof about 5 years later and he was injured. After recovery he wasn’t the same, he continued roofing, and his body became worse. So, the doctors put him on disability that became an uphill battle. Needless to say, that our lives became so different from our dreams for our marriage and family. 10 years into the marriage I now have a husband that can’t work, and I have to go back to work to support the family. This was so unexpected this wasn’t my dream, and I became very bitter. My husband was bitter and depressed all the time. His body didn’t like the cold damp weather in Washington, so we moved to Arizona. I didn’t want to move to the dry heat desolate desert. After moving here, I broke my leg in 2 places I couldn’t work for 6 months. My husband got worse he got Valley fever, then had to have neck surgery. Then he had a heart attack, then we found out he has a turmoil lung disease. So yes, I’m very bitter and this has caused damage to any and all relationships I have. I have taken all this to God several times over the years. I’m tired and worn out. I do see Gods mercy he has financially gotten us through all of this. He has given me grace when I needed it. I’m waiting for my Ruth moment to happen, but I keep having one tragedy after another. When will this stop??? When will I have peace and rest?? on this earth maybe never I’ll have to wait until I die to get peace and rest.
Sandra, thank you for joining us for Happy Monday this week and sharing your story with us. I’m glad that you were courageous enough to be honest about what’s hard and unresolved. I’m glad that you’ve seen God’s grace and provision for your family during these hard years and I pray that you continue to keep going to Him with the ache and bitterness in your heart. There are no easy answers, but God is faithful and He does promise peace in Him. I pray that for you and over you today.
30 years ago, I went through a bitter and horrible divorce. I had all this rage in side and knew if I didn’t get rid of it, I would live the rest of my life as a bitter woman. I took an 8.5×11 inch notebook and began to write “I am angry at you God because…”. I filled up a page and a half with sentences like that. When I finished, I had this incredible peace come over me and it filled my house also. We can’t afford to let bitterness remain in our lives.
Edwina, that’s SO powerful! Thank you for sharing what you did when bitterness threatened to overtake you. What you did is exactly what I hope other women will do today. God can take our anger and honesty – and He wants to heal us and help us.
Oh Barb, my life has changed so much! After 25 years of marriage, a divorce. After 5 years of a 2nd marriage, death. That meme you posted certainly has been my life! But in spite of all the mistakes I made and detours I took, God is still good! I believe God wants us to be better, not bitter and bloom where we are planted! I am currently “planted” in bed with a broken leg! Please pray that it heals properly and that I will be able to walk again. I so look forward to your Monday posts! It’s happy mail to me! God bless you.
Terry, thank you for sharing your story with us. Everyone commenting today has been through some really hard stuff. I appreciate your willingness to share your journey and how you’ve clung to God’s goodness in the ups and downs of life. Praying for you today – for healing for your leg and your restored health.
God knew I needed this. I was praying last night and questioning his ways. Definitely not what I want. I have two sons with a neuromuscular disease and as it progresses, things become more difficult for all of us. We are truly blessed and I need to focus on those things!
Hi Sandra, thank you for joining me for this week’s Happy Monday devotional and sharing your comment. Having two sons with significant medical issues is a lot for a mama’s heart and mind. I’m glad that Naomi’s story prompted you to remember that God is with you and taking care of you.
My husband quit his successful career and opened a coffee shop. It failed, and we lost everything and he became severely depressed. We went to a counselor and unbeknownst to me, when you go to a counselor and use your insurance they have to diagnose the person with the insurance with a disorder. So she diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder before she even talked to me. When she realized I did not have it, she told my husband to leave me and never speak to me again told my daughter to never speak to me again, and my husband and daughter, in turn, convinced my other two children to not speak to me either. My husband divorced me because he said he loves me and my daughter refused to speak to me because she said I was her best friend. We had a very close family, we were all very strong Christians. I was totally blindsided. My husband loved me more than any man has ever loved his wife and I was very close to my children. it has been 13 years and I have not spoken to them. I was not told my daughter got married or had kids I’ve never met them. If not for God, I could not handle this. He has supernaturally provided for me and I know that he will restore my marriage and my family. He will bring all of my family back to him because no one can take them out of his hand . And he keeps his promises.