It’s the final week of our “I’m Waiting God” series! Today, we’re tackling the question that we don’t like to think about. However, I hope this devotion inspires you and gives you hope that God's love for you and His promises are bigger than the answer to your prayers.
Here’s our tough question: What if we finally receive the answer to our prayer, but God's answer is different from what we’ve prayed?
My family is living this right now.
If you read my note at the end of last Monday’s devotion, I asked for prayers for my Aunt Mary Jo. At the time, I had no idea that I would be holding my aunt’s hand as she left her earthly body before the end of the day. Just after 10pm, my seventy-year old aunt drew her last breath on earth and joined Jesus in eternity.
Mary Jo spent more than half of her life praying for God to heal her body. In her late 20s, Mary Jo experienced a sudden onset of lupus, an autoimmune disorder where her immune system attacks healthy tissues. The initial attack was devastating and took Mary a long time to get back on her feet. But she did!
In her late 30s, Mary went back to school to earn a business degree, and we celebrated when she graduated. This felt like a triumph for Mary Jo because she felt like her lupus diagnosis sidelined her while her friends were getting married and having children. Earning her degree felt like one way to reclaim some of her lost dreams. (In high school, Mary Jo was offered a full music scholarship to Ohio State, but she stayed home to care for my grandmother, who’d struggled with chronic illness after a difficult divorce.)
In her early 40s, Mary began having difficulty with her breathing. Test results revealed that she had developed pulmonary hypertension, where the lung arteries develop high blood pressure, and the blood doesn’t flow easily. As a result, the right side of the heart strains and can lead to heart failure. She required supplemental oxygen support and complicated medicines. One day, Mary went in for a medical procedure and woke up with a catheter attached to her chest to deliver life-sustaining medicine every day.
Mary came to visit me shortly after, and she was despondent. She didn’t understand why God allowed her to develop two terrible medical conditions. She’d done her best to live for Jesus, and she felt like God had forgotten her. Mary didn't abandon her faith, but she was confused and angry for a season. It felt like her body was broken. She battled medical anxiety that felt like Damocles’ sword hanging over her head.
My aunt grew up in the church, but told me that it wasn't until her 30s that she understood what it meant to live for Jesus. She abandoned flimsy religious rules for real faith and a commitment to live for Jesus, even when she felt afraid. Mary never went back on her commitment to Christ even though she lamented her pain, loss of health, and multiple near-death experiences over the past thirty years.
Mary and I talked about her frustration with well-meaning people at church or even on the street who would see her oxygen tanks and proclaim that God was going to heal her body. She never stopped believing that God could heal her body with a single word. At the same time, she felt disappointment and anger at people who would attempt to prophecy without asking about her specific situation or how her illnesses deepened her faith.
She knew that many Christians were uncomfortable with her lack of healing, but Mary wasn’t uncomfortable at all. She may have struggled with being sick, but Mary Jo believed God was good regardless of whether He healed her. She longed for others to see that as well. In fact, here is Mary Jo’s last Facebook post, just 23 hours before her passing.
Even though we lived a few hours apart, I did Mary Jo and my Aunt Renee’s hair every six weeks for about twenty years. They would drive over, and I prepared a special lunch. Additionally, I’d talk with Mary each week, sometimes at work or when we were driving. Mary Jo was only sixteen years older than me, so in my adult years, Mary was more like a sister than an aunt. She showed up in my life and my kids’ lives with her medicine and oxygen tanks. Mary had an incredible voice and she continued to sing, even on oxygen. She sang the national anthem at two different Cleveland Indians games, even on oxygen!
I decided to share about Mary's life because sometimes, God does answer our prayers differently than we'd hope. Where does this leave us? How do we live?
In my I’m Waiting, God: Finding Blessing in God’s Delay Bible study on waiting room seasons, I share how we can live our life story for God’s glory no matter what happens. Mary Jo’s life was a beautiful example of this.
I watched Mary Jo live out her faith even when she felt like life wasn’t fair. Over the past year, Mary lost most of her mobility as her pulmonary hypertension weakened her lungs and heart. While she wasn’t able to attend church in the final months of her life, Mary Jo still welcomed women into her home for Bible study. For years, Mary posted verses from YouVersion to her Facebook as a small way to encourage others toward Jesus. Here is the last YouVersion verses Mary Jo shared the day before she passed away.
Mary Jo never received the physical healing that she prayed for, but she used her life story for God’s glory. When I think about Mary’s life and the unanswered prayers, I see a woman who lived out her faith because she trusted God‘s promises, rather than following God just for what he could do for her.
My prayer is that we will all choose to live for God's glory, no matter how our prayers are answered. We all face prayers that are answered differently than we'd hope, but we can trust that God. If this is tough for you, here's a link back to the first week in this series. Let's hold onto the hope that God's faithfulness is bigger than the answer to our prayers. This doesn't minimize the importance of our prayers, rather we want to reframe and enlarge our perspective of God.
Even as our family grieves Mary’s passing, we do not grieve without hope. We can smile through our tears and heartache because a week ago today, Mary received her healing. While we’re not there to see it, we can only imagine how amazing it must be! Mary is with Jesus and that is the best answer to any prayer that we could ever pray.
Thank you for letting me share this tribute to my Aunt Mary's life. If you'd like to read about our final day with Aunt Mary, here's the link to my Facebook post. Your prayers for our family our appreciated. Thank you.
“Choose This, Not That” List to Wait Well
I shard this list in last week's Happy Monday (read here), but I'm sharing it again because many of you appreciated it! Some of the tools below are linked to more resources.
When You're Scared of the Future, Meditate on God's Promises
If You're Need Emotional Support, Seeking Professional Counseling
If You're Struggling with Trying to Control, Choose Surrender (click here)
When You're Feeling Grumpy, Say Three Gratitudes A Day
If You've Ignored Yourself, Choose Intentional Self-Care (click here)
If You've Been Panicking, Take the 21-Days of Prayer Challenge (click here)
When You're Consumed with Self, Find Ways to Serve Others
If You're Sad Over a Lost Dream, Take Time to Grieve (click here)
When You're Isolating, Join a Women's Bible Study
When You're Striving, Practice Sabbath (click here)
Read the Entire Series: I'm Waiting, God!
Week One: Hope for Your Hard Waiting Room Questions
Week Two: When You're Angry Because You're Waiting…
Week Three: Tips to Help You Wait Well!
