Honduras 2013. Somehow, I ended up in an arm wrestling contest.

Paty and I propped our elbows on the folding white table and giggled while clasping hands.

Seriously, I should have not been wrestling Paty. She was my friend. We should have been sharing a piece of cake somewhere. But there we were...arm wrestling in front of a large crowed screaming in mostly Spanish - that I couldn’t understand. But I’m gonna assume they were cheering for me - ha!

Someone blew whistle. I threw all of my energy into that one arm. So did Paty!

Our forearms quivered, but there was no significant movement in one direction or the other. This went on for about a minute, and I started to feel really tired.

Someone captured a picture of my wrestling match with Paty about a minute into our match. The wide-eyed look on my face could have been translated, “I can’t keep holding this; I sure hope it’s over soon!”

Does my armwrestling match remind you of any situation you’re in right now? Are you trying to wrestle a situation at home, at work, or in a relationship that you can’t seem to fix? When we face problems but we’re unable to protect, fix, or get something back on track, it’s easy for us to feel overwhelmed or discouraged.

Surrender Principle #4 is: “Trusting God’s promises will bless me, but pushing my plans will stress me.”

If it’s gonna get done, God’s gonna have to do it. Here’s the kicker: He can get it fixed, removed, restored, clean & sober, financially secure or straightened out - all without your meddling, fixing and forcing solutions. God doesn’t want you wearing yourself out with worry or stress. Instead, He wants to exchange your chaotic heart and mind for His peace and promises.

PRAYER: God, I need to let go. I’ve been wrestling with ____________________ for a long time and it’s too hard. I’m opening my hands and surrendering ______________________ to You. In return, I want to receive your peace. I trust that You will do what is right and best for everyone and everything involved. Calm my fears and help me to courageously live by faith and trust in You. Amen.

🙃 What isn’t working in your life but you keep pushing to make it work even though you're about to lose your sanity over it?

-Story from Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus Bible Study

I swear, it’s gonna be all over if the "other guy "wins!

Has that phrase or something similar come out of your mouth? It doesn't matter which candidate is the "other guy" for you, both sides feel like it will be the end of the world if the "other guy" wins. 

We’re a month out from the election, but our fears about what will happen after the election have been floating around for a long time now. This is called "election anxiety" and it's a real thing.

Look at the list of fears below. How many of these resonate with you?

I fear that the other person/other party will:

____ pass laws/agendas that oppose my religious beliefs.

____ reduce/remove some of my personal freedoms.

____ not protect me from personal pain or harm.

____ make us vulnerable to attack from other countries.

____ take away what I’ve worked so hard to gain or earn.

____ sink our country into financial collapse.

____ cause our country to fall into violence or chaos.

____ become a tool of Satan or usher in the End Times.

(By the way, did you notice how it doesn’t matter who your “other guy” is, that the fears are the same on both sides of politics?)

It doesn’t matter if you checked off one or all of them. I wanted to create space for you to get all of those fears about on the table. I’m not judging you, instead, I care about you, so that’s why I’m writing this post. My passion is helping women live beautifully strong and courageous in the midst of fear because I don’t want you to miss out on God’s great adventure of purpose for your life. If you’re struggling with election fear, I see you and I want to walk with you through this difficult space toward God's freedom and peace.

Uncertainty and Election Anxiety

Not knowing who will win the election creates just as much fear as wondering what will happen after the election.

Uncertainty drives us crazy. WE WANT TO KNOW IF WE'RE GOING TO BE OKAY! When we don’t know, those questions marks leave us feeling insecure and uncertain. Our natural negative bias kicks in and we begin creating negative mental movies in our minds about everything that we might lose or the pain that we might feel. If you’ve done my Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle Bible study, I call those negative mental movies, WorryFlix.  Like NetFlix or any other streaming media, WorryFlix serves up one awful episode after another in our mind. It’s so hard for us to stop watching!

Your mind collects whatever it is that you’re afraid of and uses that to script your WorryFlix episodes. The more that you read, watch or listen to in the news, the more WorryFlix election episodes that your mind can generate to keep you awake at night fearing the loss of everything that you hold dear.  The worst part is that your body feels your WorryFlix like it's really happening and the anxiety persists. But the good news is that you can win your election worry battle.

Canceling Your Election Anxiety

The Bible contains over 300 verses that contain “do not fear” or “do not be afraid” because God knew that we’d feel threatened by uncertainty. Being afraid isn’t a sin.

But God doesn’t want you to live IN fear. He wants you to live in confidence and security that He is with you and for you, no matter the elections outcome.

If you want to escape living IN fear, it begins with flipping your fear.

In my Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle Bible study, I say it like this:

The difference between worry and worship is who you are talking to.

For this year’s election, I’ve added one more sentence to that statement:

The difference between worry and worship is who you’re listening to.

For years, I fought a raging worry battle. The change came when I realize that I could turn my worries into prayers. One of the techniques that I write about in the Bible study is a smiple flip from "What if" to "God, if..."

Let's practice. Instead of saying:

What if _____ wins the election and wrecks the economy?

Flip that worry into a prayer and say, "God, if _____ wins the election and wrecks the economy, I know that YOU will/can _________. 

When you pray "God, if..." over "what if," that's how you cancel WorryFlix because as 1 John 4:18 says, "(God's) perfect love casts out fear."

I discovered this while reading about Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane praying before the soldiers came to arrest and crucify him. Jesus faced stress so intense, his sweat was like drops of blood (Luke 22:44). Yet, instead of "what if" worries, Jesus prayed, "God, if..." prayers . As Jesus prayed, "God, if..." he found the strength to face whatever lied ahead. You can, too. Do the flip from "what if" to "God, if..." whenever you begin stressing out about the election and God will give you the strength and peace to face whatever happens.

A few final thoughts. Take what you’d like and leave the rest…

1. God isn’t for or against one political party or another. It's insulting to God when we try to shove Him in our American political boxes.
2. I do not believe that God cares one iota about how you vote. God gives you a free-will, a conscious and His Holy Spirit to guide you. Vote based on your convictions and recognize that your convictions might be different than someone else’s.
3. Vote because it’s good stewardship. (Full Disclosure: I’ve voted in every presidential election since I was 18 years old except for the one election when I’d given birth six days before and didn’t feel physically well enough to make it to the polls.)
4. God is concerned with eternity, not this election. This presidential election and the next four years are a teeny-tiny blip on God's eternal timeline. Our country's future isn't guaranteed, but our eternal security in Christ is!
5. God cares about your character more than your comfort. If your election anxiety is related to the fear that you might lose makes you feel secure and happy, perhaps God's invitation is for you to shift your security to Him alone. BONUS: I've included a few graphics below with a few verses that you can save to your phone and recall when you're feeling election anxiety.

TODAY'S PRAYER: Dear God, you are my future! Today, I need to let go of my election anxiety and focus my eyes on you. I trust that Your presence, Your promises, and Your provision will be all that I need. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

COMMENT: What causes the most election anxiety for you? 

"This Bible study was made for the year 2020 with all of the things on in the world. It has helped keep my worries in check."

-S., Amazon Reviewer

"Beautiful Bible study book with so many practical and applicable ways to manage stress and anxiety. I enjoy working on this study so much. What better way to learn about God and His promises than through study of His word! This book is also very well organized and interactive. Highly recommend." -M., Amazon Reviewer

On Better Together, we talk about everything from our worries to our waistlines, and this episode is no exception!

On this episode of Better Together Facebook Live, host Barb Roose talks with Shari Braendel, who will share how you can still look fabulous over 50!

Big Ideas from Today's Show

1. Your outer appearance can be used to represent Christ to the world

Many of us are tempted to believe that how we look on the outside doesn't matter. Shari encourages us to remember that our appearance is important because it can be used to represent Christ to those around us!

2. Be yourself

Shari reminds us that God did not make a mistake when He created us! When we say that we hate something about ourselves, we are critiquing what God has made. Tonight, look at yourself in the mirror and say, "Thank you God for making me so beautiful."

3. It's not too late to make a change

If investing in yourself isn't something you've done in the past, it's not too late to make a change. True beauty is on the inside, however, choosing to make small changes on the outside is a great way to boost your confidence and change the way you show up in the world!

About Our Guest Shari Braendel...Shari Braendel is an author, Christian speaker, fashion editor, and a professional image consultant. She is one of the most sought-after Christian women speakers on the topic of beauty – inside and out, Christian fashion, and dressing with dignity. Recognized for her fun, engaging, and transparent speaker style, her Fashion Meets Faith event is said to be “one of the most empowering Christian conferences available to women today”.

Links from today's episode:

Fashion Meets Faith:

https://fashionmeetsfaith.com

Take the FREE color analysis quiz:

https://www.colorenalysis.com/index.html

Grab Shari's AMAZING Outfit Planner:

https://www.closetoutfitplanner.com/

Watch Style Tips with Shari:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWcpxUNosAi8Y5lufekSp5w

Better Together host Barb Roose is a popular speaker and author with a passion to help women live beautifully strong and courageous in Jesus' name. She's the author of multiple books and Bible studies, including Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus and Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle. Visit Barb's online home at barbroose.com.

A few weeks ago, my 20-year old daughter boomeranged back into my empty nest. 

My beautiful girl attends nursing school at the local university. Due to the virus, much of her education is online via Zoom at home. What's challenged me lately is NOT sticking my nose into her class schedule to issue well-meaning reminders like, "Do you need to get up and log onto class?" or "I noticed that you've been on TikTok for six hours, shouldn't you be studying?"

None of that is my business. Why? She's 20 years old. She is an adult. She pays for her own schooling (academic scholarship!) and she was smart enough to get into nursing school. So, it's none of my business if she sleeps through her classes, studies or if she blows it all off.

Some of you are thinking, Barb, but what if she fails? or Com'on Barb, good moms give reminders!

I discovered that fear and pride were behind my control-loving behaviors like nagging and helicoptering (micro-managing). I've had to wrestle with fear-thoughts like "If she sleeps through that class, she might fail her test" or pride-thoughts like, "I will give her a this quick reminder and make her do what she should be doing."

I could give reminders to calm my fears or satisfy my pride. However, God desires for us to live by faith, not fear (1 John 4:18). Also, people don't like to be controlled. People really don't like for us to try to fix them. Our fear and our pride is ours to manage. Thankfully, God's already secured victory for us!

So rather than give up and get frustrated or give into fear, there's one more choice:

Surrender. Let go and give it to God.

I have to let all of that go. Sure, I'd hate for her to fail out of nursing school (she's not - she's doing just fine!) and I definitely think that she needs to be on TikTok less. But that's not my business either.

I have to let go because I am not in control of her life.

But, then what?

When we let go, then what do we hold onto so that we don't try to take control again?

Years ago, I learned a series of slogans while attending a family recovery support group because of my family member's alcoholism. For years, I tried to control out of extreme fear and destructive pride. Those recovery slogans equipped me with the tools that I needed to step back and let go of control. Even though they weren't based on scripture, God used those slogans to bring incredible peace and calm into my heart and mind - even though our family situation spiraled out of control. I was often heart-broken, but I stayed calm.

Over the years, I developed my own slogans, essentially six statements based on God's promises, provision and peace that I can hold onto when I let go of control.

Now, I want to give you the six powerful Surrender Principles from my Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus Bible study based on God's Word that you can hold onto when you let go of control.

Six Surrender Principles

Surrender Principle #1: I am not in control of others or outcomes.
Surrender Principle #2: I choose to live by faith, not rush to follow my feelings.
Surrender Principle #3: I can always let go and give my problems to God.
Surrender Principle #4:  Trusting God's promises will bless me, but pushing my plans will stress me.
Surrender Principle #5: When fear tempts me to flee, fix or force my way, I will choose to stop and pray.
Surrender Principle #6: Surrender is my only path to God's peace, power and provision.

These principles work because they point you toward God rather than your struggling person or problem. Use them early. Use them often! But, it takes time, so be patient with yourself. (IDEA: You can do the Surrendered Bible study to give God an opportunity to transform your control-loving struggles into more focus on Him!)

BONUS: Click here for a printable of these six Surrender Principles!

CONCLUSION...
For my situation with my daughter, I'm using tools #1 and #4. She's doing just fine in managing her life, I'm the one who has to let go of of my fears or the pride in thinking that she can't keep her life together without my help.

I repeat these Surrender Tools early and often so that I can wrap myself in God's peace and trust that He is in charge of her life and not me. 

I'D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU! COMMENT BELOW:
1. What person or problem do you need to let go of and surrender to God right now?
2. Which one of these Surrender tools do you too need to hold onto, memorize and repeat to yourself when you're tempted to control? 

Let Go and Live Like Jesus!

Are you a control-lover? There are five control-loving behaviors that trick us into thinking that we can fix the people and problems in our lives. However, when we try to control what we can't control, it often leads to chaos in our lives.

Are you tired of feeling stressed out and afraid of what you can't fix or control? There's hope!

Check out the Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus Bible study or book, Surrendered: 40 Devotions to Help You Let Go and Live Like Jesus. Learn from Jesus' example AND six powerful tools that equip you to let go and experience God's power and peace!

If 2020 has taught us anything, it's that sometimes our best laid plans don't turn out the way we had hoped!

On this episode of Better Together Facebook Live, host Barb Roose talks with Heather Dixon who will share about how we can still have hope, even when we don't like our stories.

Big Ideas from Today's Show

1. "Difficult stories can become setups for the display of divine strength."

Heather encourages us to see our difficult moments from a different perspective. Take courage, friends. It is in the dark moments of our lives that God's glory and strength can be put on display. 

2. "You have permission to grieve."

If you are walking through a hard season right now, it is okay to grieve. Heather reminds us that we have a God who grieves with us in our hard moments. "To skip the step of grieving robs us of the chance to acknowledge that this world is broken and that we need Jesus."

3. "Sometimes God puts people in our lives to help ease the weight of our emotional burdens."

One of the ways that God helps to care for us is by sending someone to bless and encourage us. In Heather's words, "God's hope is delivered by human hands." Who are you thankful for in your life who has helped to carry your burdens?

About Our Guest Heather Dixon...Heather M. Dixon is an author, speaker, and Bible teacher who understands living with a story that is not easy. Diagnosed with an incurable and terminal genetic disorder that she inherited from her mother, she is passionate about encouraging and equipping women to trust in God, face their greatest fears, and live with hope, especially in the midst of difficult circumstances. When she is not blogging at The Rescued Letters or speaking at women’s conferences and events, Heather loves to make the most of everyday moments such as cooking for her husband and son, brainstorming all the possible ways to organize Legos and superheroes, checking out way too many library books, or unashamedly indulging in her love for all things Disney. Heather is a regular contributor to Journey magazine and the author of three Bible studies including Determined: Living Like Jesus in Every Moment and Renewed: Finding Hope When You Don't Like Your Story.

Links from today's episode:

Check out Heather's Website:

https://therescuedletters.com

Renewed Bible Study

https://www.abingdonwomen.com/bible-studies/renewed

Better Together host Barb Roose is a popular speaker and author with a passion to help women live beautifully strong and courageous in Jesus' name. She's the author of multiple books and Bible studies, including Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus and Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle. Visit Barb's online home at barbroose.com.

If you've ever found yourself so busy trying to serve God that you've forgotten to actually spend time hearing from Him, you're in good company!

On this episode of Better Together Facebook Live, host Barb Roose talks with Julie Lyles Carr, about how to keep ministry from messing up our relationship with God.

Big Ideas from Today's Show

1. God is not the job.

Julie reminds us of how easy it is to allow the good things we are doing in our lives to get in the way of tending and cultivating our personal relationship with God. Ask yourself: Am I stuck on a ministry hamster wheel? Are there things in my life that are getting in the way of my relationship with God?

2. Be honest with yourself

Julie encourages us to take a real look at ourselves and be completely honest. Ask yourself: Why am I doing all of these things? What is my motive? Am I just trying to please people or get recognition?

3. Seek God

If you aren't exactly sure what God wants you to do in this season, ask Him! Take some time in prayer to ask, "God, what can I do with my life that pleases you?"

4. Know how to read the seasons well

Julie reminds us that life is full of seasons. In some seasons God may call you to be actively involved in ministry, but in others He may call you to rest. There is a time for everything!

Practical Temperature Check

Write down a list of the places in your life that you have obligations in and assign a season to each one.

Summer: A fully flourishing area where you are working hard and seeing God do great things.

Spring: A relatively new and exciting thing that you're just getting started.

Fall: You have been doing it for awhile. It's comfortable, but it doesn't fire you up like it used to.

Winter: You're just doing it because you don't want to let anybody down.

Look at your list and prayerfully consider which areas you need to remain in and where it may be time to let things go.

About Our Guest Julie Lyles Carr...Julie is a disciple, reader, writer, runner, photographer, wife to Michael, mom to a bunch. She is the founder of the media and communications company, Carr Consult. In addition to being a national speaker and best-selling author, she serves as the Pastor of LifeWomen Women’s Ministry at her home church of LifeAustin in Austin, Texas, where Randy Phillips of Phillips, Craig and Dean serves as Lead Pastor. She also founded and served as the Executive Director of Legacy of Hope Austin, a non-profit dedicated to serving families with children with special needs.

Julie is the host of the popular All Mom Podcast and has welcomed guests Beth Moore, Priscilla Shirer, Bob Goff, Max Lucado, Scott Hamilton, Emerson Eggerichs, Jennie Allen, Jamie Ivey, and more.

Links from today's episode:

Check out Julie's Website

http://julielylescarr.com

The All Mom Does Podcast 

https://www.allmomdoes.com/podcast

Footnotes Bible Study

https://www.amazon.com/Footnotes-Participant-Workbook-Lessons-Characters

Better Together host Barb Roose is a popular speaker and author with a passion to help women live beautifully strong and courageous in Jesus' name. She's the author of multiple books and Bible studies, including Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus and Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle. Visit Barb's online home at barbroose.com.

Yesterday, my daughter showed me a text that she received with a YouTube video link predicting Jesus’ return on Saturday, September 19.

You didn't know that Jesus was coming back next weekend? Neither did I...

Predictions about the end of the world aren't anything new.

Just for a quick review, here’s what Jesus taught about events predicted into the future:

 “However, no one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows. And since you don’t know when that time will come, be on guard! Stay alert! -Mark 12:32-37

That phrase “Only the Father knows” should be self-explanatory. Unfortunately, our constant pursuit of the answers that only God knows reveals one very sad fact about us: We don't trust Him.

Our Fear and Pride Fuels False Teachers

Some of us fear what we don’t understand and so end-time events top our list of fears. Other Christians think that knowledge of supposedly secret details proves that they are more spiritual than the average saved-by-grace sinner. That's pride.

Enter false teachers.

We fail to recognize false teachers because either fear corrupts our discernment filters or our pride blinds us. Either way, we're vulnerable to be led astray. False teachers are like the ancient trojan horse. We invite them in because they seem like they are an answer to our prayers, but once we've opened our heart or mind to them, they fuel our fears or feed our spiritual egos. The kicker is that they string Christians along, keeping them co-dependent on their particular drug of revelation.

How can you identify a false teacher?  

1. Be wary of anyone who says that they’ve figured out what only God knows. (Isaiah 44:25, 1 Corinthians 1:18-31)

2. Be wary of complex explanations or phrases like "special prophetic revelation." Believers are warned to remember that human knowledge about God that sounds fancy is probably foolish. (1 Corinthians 3:18-23)

3. Be wary of anyone who tells you to share their message, not the gospel with others. They're appealing to your pride and your desire to save yourself from whatever will happen. Only Jesus saves. (John 14:6)

Why Doesn't God Give Us Specific Details About End Times Events?

As humans, we have a pretty solid track record in doing the opposite of what God tells us to do. For our sakes, God operates with us on a need to know basis and follows the "KISS" rule with His creation.

God keeps it simple with us because that's all we've proven that we can handle. Besides, He's aleady taken care of everything that we will need.

God wisely decided that He would only give us responsibility for the knowledge that He gives to us. “The Lord our God has secrets known to no one. We are not accountable for them, but we and our children are accountable forever for all that he has revealed to us, so that we may obey all the terms of these instructions” (Deuteronomy 29:29).

We don’t want to be responsible for everything that God knows. What if God has only given us only what we can handle? If so, then where does that leave us, especially in a world that seems to have fallen full-on into the looking glass?

Might I suggest a modified version of the KISS rule: "Keep In Savior & Scripture." We must keep our eyes on Jesus and know what the Bible says so that we won't be fooled by fear or our pride.

"KISS" Away Your Pride or Fear of the Future

The opposite of fear is peace. Peace isn’t knowing answers, it’s knowing Jesus. He is our peace.

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world” (John 16:33 NLT)

Jesus is your only peace. He overcame what we fear most, death. His sacrifice for us made a way for us to become a part of God's forever family. There's calm and peace in knowing that no matter what happens, God's got us.

To be clear, Jesus isn’t asking us to deny that life is hard and that we’re exhausted by the sin and wickedness in our world. Afterall, he died because of the sin and wickedness that our world loves. The question is whether or not you believe that Jesus’ peace is enough for you or do you believe that someone's special prophetic revelation can give you peace?

 Here’s a few practical ways that I "Keep In Savior & Scripture":

1. I’m careful who I read or watch. Curiosity didn’t just kill the cat, it can also confuse. When you go looking for answers about God outside of God, that's never going to lead you back to Him - and the whole jourey will lead to more fear for you.
2. I choose to be comfortable with uncertainty. I trust that if God knows the answers, then I don’t have to be anxious about what I don’t know. God will protect and provide for me, even if I don't know the answers.
3. I memorize God’s promises to fill my heart with peace and it's also how the Holy Spirit protects me against false teachers, fear and helps me identify lies. Here's a video where I teach my God-Morning Technique and other scripture-based fear-fighting techniques.
4. Finally, I live with purpose. Here’s what a pastor named Paul taught about how to beleivers should use our time while waiting for Jesus to return:

Christ died for us so that, whether we are dead or alive when he returns, we can live with him forever. So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.   -1 Thessalonians 5:10-11

Paul’s teaching in 1 Thessalonians 5:11 and encourage each other. Stop searching the sky or spending hours on the internet looking for clues Spend your time loving and serving others. In Jesus’ final message before he went to the cross, he taught that our love will be a testimony to the world that we are his disciples.

When we fill our days with living for God and encouraging others, we won’t have time to waste looking for the answers that only God knows. And we’ll sleep better at night, too.

COMMENT: How do you feel about what’s happening in our world these days? What are the questions that you’re wrestling with?

This post was written for Christians, but in case you’re still trying to figure out your spiritual journey, one of the common questions that people about life after death or how to get right with God. If that’s you, click here and check out on of my favorite pastors – and he teaches all about the gospel.

In these uncertain times that we're living in, we don't have to succumb to fear, doubt and worry. We can still have hope!

On this episode of Better Together Facebook Live, host Barb Roose talks with Melissa Spoelstra, about how praying the names of God can truly bring hope and comfort in the midst of uncertainty!

Names Of God Mentioned In This Episode:

1. El Roi: The God Who Sees

Even when it may feel like God is slow to fulfill His promises to us, Melissa reminds us that God sees, knows and cares about what we are going through. You can read more about this name of God in the story of Hagar from Genesis 16.

2. God our Comforter

During these uncertain times, many of us are in need of some comfort. The Bible reminds us that God is our comforter and will be with us, even in the hardest of times.

3. El Shaddai: All Sufficient One

Just like a nursing child is dependent on their mother for nourishment, Melissa reminds us that God is the one who satisfies us. She has found Him to be present in the dark nights of her soul and He will be in yours as well.

4. Yahweh Sabaoth: The Lord of Heaven's Armies

This name of God is first used in the story of Hannah when her sister, Penninah, was mocking her for not being able to have children. The name Yahweh Sabaoth reminds us that God fights for and protects us.

Practical Next Steps:

When life gets overwhelming, take some time to remember who God is by rehearsing His names. Go through the alphabet, calling out a name of God to coorespond with each letter. If you struggle when you get to "z", Melissa says to just go for "zebra maker"!

About Our Guest Melissa Spoelstra...Melissa Spoelstra is first and foremost a Christ-follower who is madly in love with Jesus and addicted to the study of His Word. She is passionate about knowing Christ and inspiring other women to seek Him, and has written 7 women's Bible studies including her most recent, Names of God. Melissa's desire is to follow God through every door He opens and prays that all glory in her endeavors is His alone.

Links from today's episode:

Check out Melissa online:

http://melissaspoelstra.com/

Names of God Bible Study

https://www.cokesbury.com/The-Names-of-God-Women%27s-Bible-Study-Participant-Workbook

Better Together host Barb Roose is a popular speaker and author with a passion to help women live beautifully strong and courageous in Jesus' name. She's the author of multiple books and Bible studies, including Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus and Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle. Visit Barb's online home at barbroose.com.

Alright friends, it's time to laugh!

On this episode of Better Together Facebook Live, host Barb Roose talks with Rhonda Corey, about why we need to find the funny in unfunny times.

Big Ideas from Today's Show

1. Shift your thinking

2020 has thrown us all for a loop, but that doesn't mean we have to stay stuck! Rhonda reminds us of the importance of shifting our thinking from what we cannot do to what we CAN do now!

2. Remember to laugh 

God created humor! Whether it's looking at memes that make you smile or calling a dear friend, don't forget to take the time to slow down and enjoy some laughter.

3. Spend time in God's creation

In this time where we are all staying inside, Rhonda encourages us to switch things up and spend time marveling in God's creation. It's a great way to  connect with God during this stay-at-home season.

About Our Guest Rhonda Corey...Rhonda Corey is an award winning comedian who has performed on stages from Rhode Island to California. She is the creator of "Out of The Blue Comedy", a 100% clean comedy show, co-founder of Take Two Ministries and producer and host of the new live stream sensation, "Talk is Cheap". In 2018 she won the "Clean Comedy Challenge" a national competition that was held in Chicago. She can be seen at conferences, clubs, churches, corporate events and the sales rack at Macy's.

Links from today's episode:

Rhonda Corey Comedy: http://www.rhondacoreycomedy.com/

Watch Rhonda's show "Talk is Cheap": 

https://www.facebook.com/rhondacoreycomedy

Better Together host Barb Roose is a popular speaker and author with a passion to help women live beautifully strong and courageous in Jesus' name. She's the author of multiple books and Bible studies, including Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus and Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle. Visit Barb's online home at barbroose.com.

I created this post so that I could have a place to come back to to read and listen to Dr. King's message for myself - and I pray that his words create a meaningful moment for you and your family today.

In our world of short-attention span and sound bits, I'd venture to guess that most people have never read or heard his entire speech. I wonder how many schools cover this as one of most historic speeches in U.S. history? Generally, people recognize the later, more lively part of Dr. King's speech, particularly, "FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST, THANK GOD ALMIGHTY, WE'RE FREE AT LAST!"

Those words thrill our hearts and give us hope. What we forget is that Dr. King's empassioned end was a dream, not a reality. Those final words hinge on the previous, profound - and I don't use the following word lightly - prophectic observations that Dr. King made about our country.

A menagerie of messy emotions ping-ponged around as I read the transcript of his entire speech. My heart hurt, my eyes watered and my soul ached. Other than the use of the word "negro," Dr. King's speech would ring true today.

As a black woman living in America, I share Dr. King's dream. I haven't lost hope, but my heart is hurting. Tonight, Dr. King's speech reminded me that blood, sweat and tears are required when we're fighting for something worthwhile.

If you'd like to read King's entire speech, I recreated it in these slides. A few things before you start:

1. Dr. King addresses both black people AND white people in this talk. Don't undermine what you can learn by focusing on what the other side should be doing.

2. The slides are in order, begin with the slide that has "barbroose.com/graceproject" on the bottom right corner. That's Slide #1. Advance the slides by clicking the arrow to right.

3. Would you rather watch? I've inserted a video below that you can listen to. Perhaps, you can watch with your family and discuss it.

4. Share this post. Allow Dr. King's words to be a voice for hope for black people, other people of color and everyone fighting for justice with them. If that's you, thank you.

SHARE YOUR COMMENT: What part of Dr. King's speech inspires you the most?

I remember the day when I knew that I had to stop paying the mortgage.

During our family’s decade long addiction crisis, my goal was to keep my family together at all costs, keep up appearances and protect everything we loved -  even our credit rating. Doggone it, that mortgage was paid on time every single month for 18 years and I didn’t want to mess that up!

Addictions are uncontrollable, but that didn't stop me from waking up each day with a plan to keep it from controlling our family's future. I worked multiple jobs, played the financial shell game and spent hours stressfully trying to save someone who didn't want to save himself.

The result: I was falling apart more than I thought that I was keeping everything together. But I held onto the belief that it was up to me to keep it all together.

Speaking of I’s…most of my thoughts began with a self-righteous I.

I was the responsible one.

I was making all of the sacrifices.

I was the one working two jobs to keep things going.

I wasn’t the one with the addiction.

Lurking behind the door of my self-righteousness facade lived a lot of fear.

I feared falling apart - and then everyone would know that I couldn't keep my family together. I feared disappointing God - maybe I wasn't praying hard enough (which is wrong-thinking!)

The weight of an uncontrollable addiction's impact on my life pressed on my soul. I staggered through each day believing that it I could carry the weight, then one day everything would change.

Sure, I prayed. But, I thought that if God hadn't changed anything, then maybe He was okay with me carrying the weight.

Now, I look back and I can see that God was waiting for me to realize that problem weighed far too too much for me to carry...

Here’s what I wrote my Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus Study:

“…we often spend a lot of mental energy trying to stay in whatever fight is most important to us – the fight for financial security, our marriage, our child’s survival, our jobs or our faith. However, fighting in a situation that you can’t change, control, or conquer will wear you down and eventually wear you out. At a certain point, we’ll choose one of two responses. Here are the first two:

1. Giving up is losing hope.
2. Giving in is caving to anther’s agenda.

However, there is a third option: Letting go.

Letting Go isn’t trying to fix or force a solution but living by faith that God will do what is best.”

Recently, I saw a social media post from a well-known Christian author who wrote that letting go is an awful Christian cliché that we really need to stop saying. Her rationale was that saying “Let go and let go” was simplistic when we’re suffering. She argued that the cliché phrase doesn't capture the heart of Christ.

I disagree. There’s nothing simplistic about letting go, or surrender. In my recovery group, one of the slogans is "Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional." It IS painful to feel the consequences of what we can't control. Yet, suffering is worse. Suffering, however, is the mental anguish that we put ourselves through. Letting go and giving our people and problems over to God frees us from our suffering. 

We suffer because we say things to ourselves like "If we hold on long enough or work hard enough, we can fix this" or "I pray long enough, then God will answer my prayer like I hoped."  While we wait, we wake up weighted down each day by our expectations. Just because you hold on doesn’t mean that you can fix that person that you live or that problem that you’re afraid will wreck your life.

Letting go recognizes that we can’t, but God can – and we choose trust whatever He does – or doesn’t do. That’s hard! Like my friend said, “I pray and want to trust God, but in the back of my mind I wonder if He might end up giving me a whammy instead of a blessing.”

Letting go isn’t easy. But, it’s so worth it. Especially when the weight is too much.

This is why I had to stop paying the mortgage. I had to stop filling in all of the spaces and gaps of trying to fix a bigger problem in our family. It wasn't about the mortgage. The mortage was just one of the ways that I convinced myself that all of my efforts were getting things under control. Unfortunately, all of my worst fears came true.

BUT…

While there was a lot of pain, God’s promises and mercy settled like a thick blanket of peace. God saved me from my suffering.

When I stopped trying to fix people and force solutions, I had more time to focus on God. Guess what? When I stopped trying to fix and do all of the things, I could see where God was working.

As Tim Keller said, “God is always doing 10,000 things in your life, and you may be aware of three of them.”

When I surrendered, God showed me how He solves problems. God is a much better people and problem solver more than me.

Now, what about you?

Do you need to let go of a problem or person – even if you don’t want to? Here’s three questions to consider:

• Are you tired of trying to fix problems that aren’t in your control?
• Are you tired of trying to help people who don’t want to do what’s healthy or helpful for themselves?
• Are you tired of playing God?

Dear God, there are situations in my life that I cannot handle – like this pandemic. I am grateful that you can. I’m giving the following situations to you _________________________ . Thank you for taking care of me and what I cannot control. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS: What are you holding onto that you need to let go of? What's hard about letting go for you?

FREE GIFT: Click here to download my free Letting Go Loop worksheet.

COMING THIS SEPTEMBER!

My new Surrendered: 40 Days to Help You Let Go and Live Like Jesus releases! This uplifting devotional book covers your hardest "letting go" topics with personal stories, biblical principles, practical next steps and prayer. You can pre-order NOW for $9.99 through my publisher - that's exciting! 

Are you tired of worry wearing you out? I'm sharing my three favorite fear-fighting tools on this episode of Better Together Facebook Live. These are tools that equip me to calm down and win my win my worry battles.

These scripture-based tools will work for you - and your family, too!  

1. CALM Technique from Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle

2. God-Morning, God-Night Technique from I'm Waiting God: Finding Blessing in God's Delay

3. "The Answers Will Come."

Better Together host Barb Roose is a popular speaker and author with a passion to help women live beautifully strong and courageous in Jesus' name. She's the author of multiple books and Bible studies, including Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus and Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle. Visit Barb's online home at barbroose.com.