by Barb Roose | Aug 21, 2018 | Better Together Podcast
Can we find freedom from past hurts or trauma? The answer is YES!
If you know me, you know that I am a HUGE advocate of mental health! Not only have I invested in years of personal counseling, but I attend a recovery group on a regular basis for my own serenity. A decade ago, I struggled with major depression and spending a year in counseling and medication delivered me back to wellness.
The lesson that I’ve learned is that good mental health is a daily investment and when we don’t invest in ourselves, we rob ourselves of the peace and joy that God promises. Don’t rob yourselves, friends. You matter!
My guest on this episode of the Better Together podcast is clinically-trained marriage and family therapist, Stacy Lynn Harp, the host of Bible News Radio.
Stacy Lynn grew up as the middle child between two brothers and to a mother who often expressed her regret over Stacy Lynn’s birth. When Stacy Lynn was seven years old, her mother had an affair with Stacy’s paternal uncle. Eventually, Stacy’s mother left her father, packed up the kids and moved to California with the uncle. For many years, the uncle sexually and physically abused Stacy on a daily basis.”He was sadistic,” recalls Stacy Lynn in another interview.
During our conversation, Stacy Lynn gives a recap of her story and explains the tragic reason behind why her uncle never went to jail, even though Stacy Lynn reported him to the police.
If you’re an adult, but you’ve still got a lot of baggage left over from your childhood, Stacy Lynn shares her journey from sexual abuse survivor to finding freedom from her struggles.
Our conversation today includes:
- Why NOT paying for therapy is the most expensive mistake of your life;
- What does freedom look like;
- How to spot unhealthy people;
- Lessons in faith from her soon-to-be-finished book, Pickleball Faith.
LINKS TO TODAY’S PODCAST
Stacy Lynn Harp website | Bible News Radio
Stacy’s Testimony
What is Mental Health?
STACY LYNN HARP BIO
Stacy has appeared on the Fox News television show Dayside, as well as numerous radio programs nationally and internationally, discussing issues pertaining to the family, sexuality, social media, Christian persecution and Internet related issues.
Stacy earned a Masters of Science in Clinical Psychology from Vanguard University of Southern California, and is a gifted therapist and coach. Stacy has spoken at various academic and professional conferences concerning internet safety issues and the topic of homosexuality. She has been described as someone who has a firm grasp on the issues and communicates passionately but with humor.
by Barb Roose | Jan 1, 2018 | Women's Topics
Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! -Isaiah 30:18
Every new year, we say out with the old in with the new. But, what do you do when the old problems or struggles follow you into New Year?
I’m spending New Year’s in El Paso Texas with my oldest daughter. If you’ve been following me on social media, my daughter and I made two 1600 #roadtrips with her two puppies in the backseat before and after Christmas. We survived.
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Yesterday, my daughter had a 24-hour shift at work, so I’ve been on puppy duty. As I walked the dogs toward a neighborhood park, I talked to God about the last 365 days of my life. I gave thanks for so many things: a loving family, supportive friends, good health, financial provision and many wonderful ministry opportunities. And I also plead with God about getting rid of an old unresolved heartache that I didn’t want to follow me into the new year. God, I’ve dealt with this for so long. Do I have to deal with this next year? Any chance you can make this go away by midnight?
What old situation has followed you into a new year?
While this isn’t the place for me to go into details, perhaps you can relate to how I describe the pain. It feels like a 1000-pound weight sits on your heart and cracks it all little each day. On bad days, I feel my heartbeat thumping in my chest and it hurts. This is the pain of being human and living in a fallen world. At this stage in my life, I can only bear to share this pain with the most trustworthy of friends and gratefully, an understanding Christian counselor.
God, my heart hurts…
This morning, God showed me that He heard my prayer on yesterday’s walk. One of the verses in my Bible study today was Isaiah 30:18: “Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!”
God used this verse today to remind me of His heart toward me. The first day of this new year is a part of God’s gracefulness to me and you. Every time we say goodbye to a loved one, we are reminded of the preciousness of life. You’ve made it into the new year! No matter how much you don’t like what’s carried over from the old year, you’ve made it into the new one – and not everyone can say that!
Every day from God is a gift that we don’t deserve. Additionally, God longs to pour His graciousness into every deep crack in our heart and fill in those broken fissures with Himself. That’s actually the visual that I use when I’m praying through difficult days: God, my heart is broken right now. Please come and fill in those broken places with Yourself.” Just like the Kintsugi artists use liquid gold to fuse together broken pottery, God’s grace is that He infuses Himself into our heartache.
The last part of that verse say “Blessed are all who wait for him.” What does it mean to wait for God? Before my daughter takes her puppies outside, she makes them sit before snapping on their leashes. Then she says the word, “wait.” Both puppies must to sit until she gives them the command to move forward. While they are waiting, the dogs’ eyes are fixed on her face. Now, when I told them that it was time to sit, the results were pretty spotty. Those puppies love my daughter. I’m just the random lady who took them on a few walks.
The word wait in Isaiah 30:18 means to long for. When the puppies hear the word “wait,” they fix their focus on my daughter and sit until she tells them to move. For us, waiting is focus on an unknown period of time, but spiritually, our waiting should be a fixating on a Person.
Why is this important? When we’re waiting on something that isn’t happening, our hearts get weighed down and discouraged (Proverbs 13:12). But, when we’re fixated on God, we actually get stronger and can accomplish more (Isaiah 40:31)
Are you currently weighted down by the old situation that has followed you into the new year OR are you waiting on God and enjoying the blessing of His grace and compassion?
Might I offer two next steps if you’re dealing with an old situation in this new year?
First, start with talking to God and surrender the heavy weight of your old situation over to Him. 1 Peter 5:7 tells us to give all of our worries and cares to God because He cares about us. One of my favorite movie lines is “Get off the cross, honey. Somebody needs the wood.”
“God, it’s a new year, but I don’t want to carry the pain around of this situation anymore. If it isn’t your timing to remove this hardship from my life, then God, I’m asking you to renew my heart and filling in the broken places with yourself.”
Second, increase your longing for God to keeping your eyes focused on him. Corrie ten Boom once said, “If you look at the world, you’ll be distressed. If you look within, you’ll be depressed. If you look at God you’ll be at rest.”
One suggestion is to sign-up for resources like ReFocus App, My First 5, YouVersion or livingitout.tv that will deliver a devotional or verse of the day directly to you. But, don’t just sign up and think something will change. Set aside 15 minutes per day to read and reflect. The more you fix your heart and mind on God, the more you’ll focus on Him – and the more blessed you will be.
That’s what happened to me today. As I spent time in my Bible study and writing this post, God has truly blessed me today. Even as my old situation follows me into a new year, I’m going to be like my daughter’s puppies and keep my eyes focused on God as I wait on Him.
SHARE WITH US: Is there an old situation that you are dealing with in the new year? How has reading this post and Isaiah 30:18 encouraged you? Leave your comments below.
by Barb Roose | Apr 20, 2017 | Better Together Podcast
Oh my, goodness!
Last week, I shared my story about a year-long battle with depression as well as a powerful podcast interview with my friend, Melissa Maimone.
Boy, did I hear from you! I’ve gotten more notes and messages about this podcast than any other. One woman shared that God used our discussion to confirm that she needed to talk to her doctor about depression. Praise God!
Depression is a medical condition that can make us feel alone, fearful and hopeless. At its worst, depression can make us feel that we’re too broken or damaged to be loved. Even by God.
God loves you just the way that you are. There is nothing that you can do to change His opinion about you.
Christians are uncomfortable with depression. By refusing the recognize depression as a medical issue, Christians often downplay, even dismisses its devastating impact on families, our careers and our health. Too often, Christians feel ashamed about being depressed or they’re shamed by others who tell them to pray harder or think more positively.
In this week’s Better Together episode, Melissa and I tackled depression, God and faith. For years, Melissa felt like she’d disappointed God, which totally wasn’t true! She speaks to us in a powerful way about a compassionate God who loves us as we are and gives us the strength that we need. Melissa discovered that depression doesn’t mean that she’s sentenced to a life of unhappiness. Friends, Melissa is one of the most radiant people that I know!
If you’ve been dealing with depression or you secretly wonder if you are depressed, I hope that you’ll listen to this week’s podcast. Also, check out the resource links provided below. You can take a quick screening quiz to find out if you should talk to your doctor about depression. I’m also sharing some other resources that will equip and encourage you.
Did you enjoy this episode? Tell other women about it! Click here to rate this episode or the Better Together podcast on iTunes. Your review makes it easier for other women to discover the Better Together podcast – thanks!
RESOURCES FOR YOU!
PODCAST: Part 1 – God, Why am I Still Depressed – Melissa Maimone
ARTICLE: “God is not Silent When We Suffer” – Edward T. Welch, Family Life Today
ARTICLE: “5 Things Christians Should Know About Depression and Anxiety” – by Brandon Peach, Relevant Magazine
ARTICLE: “7 Things NOT to Say to a Depressed Christian” – C. Michael Patton, Credo House
ARTICLE: “To the Depressed Christian” – by Mary Leigh Keith, Cru
ARTICLE: “Depression: What it is and How to Help” – by Dr. Tim Clinton, American Association of Christian Counselors
BOOK – Gathering Dandelions: Meditations and Musings on Faith, Fracture, and Beauty Mistaken for a Weed by Melissa Maimone
VIDEO: Mental Health and the Church – Interview with Rick Warren
About Melissa Maimone…
Melissa Maimone is a vibrant, inspirational Christian speaker and author of “Gathering Dandelions: Meditations and Musings on Faith, Fracture, and Beauty Mistaken for a Weed.”
Affected by depression and anxiety from a young age, Melissa inspires women to discover the beautiful strength and grace available to them?even in the darkest of places. With her unique blend of theology, humor, insight, and storytelling, Melissa shares with powerful vulnerability that a hopeful, joyous life is possible no matter what your circumstance.
She lives in Southern California with her husband Danny their two children, Elizabeth and Cole.
Check out this episode!
by Barb Roose | Apr 13, 2017 | Better Together Podcast
“I had no idea that my life would look this.”
Melissa Maimone is a Christian speaker and author. When you meet her, the first thing you’ll notice is her bright smile and warmth. Yet, Melissa has struggled with major depression for most of her life.
Can you relate?
Depression is extremely common in women, yet we’re still struggling to find the courage to talk about it.
In this week’s Better Together podcast, Melissa and I dive into her personal story, including some difficult aspects to her story. At one point, a serious event forced Melissa to find new tools to help her cope with her depression. She shares some of those tools with us as she talks about the common questions Christians with depression ask: Is my lack of faith keeping me from being healed?
Melissa addresses that question with grace and a profound observation that may completely shift your perspective completely.
QUESTION: Have you struggled with depression or anxiety? What advice would you give a woman who feels ashamed about being depressed or a woman who refuses to get treatment for her depression? Leave your comments below.
RATE THIS EPISODE ON ITUNES! Help other women discover this podcast on iTunes by rating this episode. It’s really easy! Just click here to leave a review.
About Melissa Maimone…
Melissa Maimone is a vibrant, inspirational Christian speaker and author of “Gathering Dandelions: Meditations and Musings on Faith, Fracture, and Beauty Mistaken for a Weed.”
Affected by depression and anxiety from a young age, Melissa inspires women to discover the beautiful strength and grace available to them?even in the darkest of places. With her unique blend of theology, humor, insight, and story-telling, Melissa shares with powerful vulnerability that a hopeful, joyous life is possible no matter what your circumstance.
Melissa has been a featured speaker at various Christian camps, women’s events and retreats throughout the United States. She is part of the speaking team for Seasons Weekend, created by author and dramatist Nicole Johnson. Melissa has appeared on TBN and KKLA Christian Radio, and has been published in Welcome Home magazine.
She lives in Southern California with her husband Danny their two children, Elizabeth and Cole.
by Barb Roose | Jun 7, 2016 | Uncategorized
Have you ever been caught in a raging summer storm? So scary! In Mark 6, Jesus’ disciples were caught in a storm that terrified them, too. Jesus showed up and spoke three phrases for us to remember when storms of life blow our way.
In Mark 6, Jesus and the disciples were out sharing the gospel. Ministry work can take a long time, so they ended up feeding 5,000 people with a young boy’s lunch of five loaves and two fishes.
I always wondered how the young man answered when his mom asked, “Honey, did you eat all of your lunch today?”
Afterward, Jesus told the disciples to meet him across the lake while he stayed behind to say good-bye to the crowds. The disciples got into their boat and began to row. However, as they reached the middle of the lake a fierce storm kicked up on the water. Quickly, their lives were in peril.
I’ve been on five cruises – and I always get sea sick. In fact, if I don’t wear Seabands and take oral medicine, it won’t take long before I toss my beloved cookies all over the place. #TMI
It was even worse for the disciples in their boat. Can you imagine their grim faces or hear their pounding heartbeats? Picture them shouting as they struggled to hold onto their slippery wet oars and row against the pounding waves. Can you see their battered boat slamming back and forth like a little ball between paddle-shaped waves.
It was in the middle of this chaos that Jesus shows up. Walking on the water.
NBD.
Funny, Jesus knew how to get their attention.
Furthermore, Mark 6:48 actually says, “He intended to go past them…” But, when the disciples saw Jesus, they freaked out. They forget about their current situation and yelled for help. Save us, Jesus! We’re going to die out here!
Jesus responded with the following three statements in Mark 6:50: Don’t be afraid. Take courage! I’m here!
These three statements tell us about how Jesus shows up during the storms in our lives. He doesn’t stand at a distance shouting, “Yikes, that’s a hot mess. Good luck with that.”
Jesus comes and climbs into our chaos with us. Most of all, he brings peace in the midst of our storm.
Is there a stormy place in your life today where Jesus is speaking those words to you?
The storms in our lives are just as real as what the disciples faced that day. This is hard to hear but God allows dark, painful and devastating storms in our lives. All of us. What’s your storm? Infertility. Abandonment. Depression. Financial Issues, Marriage Struggles. Divorce. Infidelity. Wayward kids. Addiction. Illness. Grief. Death. Heartache. Singleness. Shame. Abuse. Bullying. Or something else…
Some of us have been rowing through angry, crashing waves for a long time – and we’re tired.
Jesus, please make this go away…
I’m tired, Jesus. I don’t know if I can keep going…
Save me, Jesus. Oh, please save me…
We’re all in the same boat, sisters. There is always a storm brewing, raging or dying down in our lives. That is the painful rhythm of our fallen world.
But, we are never alone. Jesus shows up in our chaotic lives and whispers:
“Don’t be afraid. I know that it’s bad, but keep your eyes on me. You don’t have to figure it all out or fix it. Focus on me. I know what you need and I can give you peace.”
“Take courage, honey. You can do hard things because I will uphold and strengthen you. You will endure because I live within you and my Spirit gives you power to persevere.
“I’m here and I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart. Others may have abandoned you, failed you or left you alone standing at the curb. But, I’m here right beside you. Always.”
You are never alone.
SHARE YOUR COMMENT BELOW: Which one of Jesus’ three statements did you need to hear today?
Thank you for checking out this post. If you think that it will encourage another woman in your life, feel free to share it!
