Dear Other Woman: A Message for the Woman in the Mirror

woman rejecting her self-image in the mirror.

How often do you look in the mirror and struggle with what you see?

Remember when we used to love hanging out with each other? Hmm, how old were we back then – two or three years old? How cute were we! Ahh, in those early years we couldn’t get enough of each other. We snuggle up close and do kissy-lips with at each other. We’d play endless games of hide-n-seek. By the way, you’re horrible at that game! Whenever it was my turn to count, I’d peek while counting and you never moved. What’s up with that?

Remember when I was ten years old? That’s when stupid Marcus told me that I was ugly and I had a big nose? I barely made it home from school without melting down. I ran right to the bathroom looking for you. Tears were streaming down my face as Marcus’ awful words screamed in my head.

Don’t you remember how I put my face right up against yours? I searched your eyes hoping that you’d show me that Marcus was wrong. I wanted you to smile at me and make me feel that I was okay as I was. But, you didn’t.

For me, that was the day that we stopped being friends. Correction: That was the day that YOU stopped being my friend.

Yet, we still see each other every day.

Let me apologize for what I look like in the mornings. I’ll admit that it’s a bad scene for both of us. My hot-mess hair and puffy eyes – okay, that’s all on me. (What happens overnight anyways? I always feel like I’m in some overnight street fight and lose every single time…)

Throughout the day, we catch glimpses of each other. A quick look here. A snatch of a glance there. You see me and just that quick, you always look away. No smiles. No kindness. No comfort.  Whatever.

smile at yourself in the mirror

You’ve seen me I strap on my courage and strip down in the department store dressing room. Why weren’t you kinder when I tried on that pink skirt and got stuck in it? That size SHOULD HAVE FIT. I was so crushed when it didn’t. Again tears. Again I look at you. Again, all you gave me was a cold stare.

Sometimes I hate you. 

Whenever I walk away from you, I want to turn back and scream, “Why aren’t you there for me? Why aren’t you on my side?”

You’ve betrayed me by not loving me. You’ve seen me at my best and worst. Yet, you never show me the support that I need. We share the same heart, the same mind and the same body and yet, you make me feel so bad about myself. I can’t win with you!

You can’t make me 20 pounds thinner, but is it so hard to give me a freakin’ smile every now and then?

Is it so hard for you to give me a thumbs up when I stop in the restaurant bathroom while I’m out with my skinner, more stylish friends?

It’s been a long time, but today, I’m getting all up in your face. We’ve got settle whatever is between us. This stops now. Today. We’re going stop blaming our issues on school bullies, skinny supermodels, unrealistic expectations or the cookies that we can’t stop eating.

This is between you and me.

Tell me, how do we patch things up between us?

I want to know that you are with me. When we look at each other, I want to look in your eyes and see that you’re on my side. I need you to stop giving me reason to criticize my face, hair, hips, breasts or arms and cheer for me instead. I want to look in your eyes and see that I am beautiful. I want to see that I am enough.

What will it take for you to do that?

Wait – are you saying something? Hold on…please whisper a little louder.

My friend, if you want me to love you, start with loving yourself. I’m just reflecting what’s going on inside of you.

The key to being friends with me is the show me what you want to see.

Do you want to see me smile? Then, you smile first.

Do you want to see me cheer for you? Then, you cheer first.

My beautiful friend, I’ll gladly follow your path, but you’ve got to learn how to lead the way.

TALK BACK TIME! What part of your body do you struggle with the most? Leave a comment below and share this post with your friends!

P.S. If you’re tired of hating the woman in the mirror, check out my Beautiful Already Bible study. Give God space to transform how you see yourself – inside AND out!

Available at major Christian retailers across the country.

Available at major Christian retailers across the country.

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Written by

Speaker and author, Barbara L. Roose has a passion for inspiring women to connect with God and each other. She is the author of Enough Already: Winning Your Ugly Struggle with Beauty and Beautiful Already: Reclaiming God's Perspective on Beauty (bible study). Connect with Barb on social media: @barbroose and at Facebook.com/barbararoose

One thought on “Dear Other Woman: A Message for the Woman in the Mirror

  1. It’s hard seeing the old face in the mirror and always the yucky hair. I know that in God’s eyes I’m beautiful, but I just can’t get ahold of that. Love you Barb! Thanks for your posts.

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