I created this post so that I could have a place to come back to to read and listen to Dr. King's message for myself - and I pray that his words create a meaningful moment for you and your family today.

In our world of short-attention span and sound bits, I'd venture to guess that most people have never read or heard his entire speech. I wonder how many schools cover this as one of most historic speeches in U.S. history? Generally, people recognize the later, more lively part of Dr. King's speech, particularly, "FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST, THANK GOD ALMIGHTY, WE'RE FREE AT LAST!"

Those words thrill our hearts and give us hope. What we forget is that Dr. King's empassioned end was a dream, not a reality. Those final words hinge on the previous, profound - and I don't use the following word lightly - prophectic observations that Dr. King made about our country.

A menagerie of messy emotions ping-ponged around as I read the transcript of his entire speech. My heart hurt, my eyes watered and my soul ached. Other than the use of the word "negro," Dr. King's speech would ring true today.

As a black woman living in America, I share Dr. King's dream. I haven't lost hope, but my heart is hurting. Tonight, Dr. King's speech reminded me that blood, sweat and tears are required when we're fighting for something worthwhile.

If you'd like to read King's entire speech, I recreated it in these slides. A few things before you start:

1. Dr. King addresses both black people AND white people in this talk. Don't undermine what you can learn by focusing on what the other side should be doing.

2. The slides are in order, begin with the slide that has "barbroose.com/graceproject" on the bottom right corner. That's Slide #1. Advance the slides by clicking the arrow to right.

3. Would you rather watch? I've inserted a video below that you can listen to. Perhaps, you can watch with your family and discuss it.

4. Share this post. Allow Dr. King's words to be a voice for hope for black people, other people of color and everyone fighting for justice with them. If that's you, thank you.

SHARE YOUR COMMENT: What part of Dr. King's speech inspires you the most?

I remember the day when I knew that I had to stop paying the mortgage.

During our family’s decade long addiction crisis, my goal was to keep my family together at all costs, keep up appearances and protect everything we loved -  even our credit rating. Doggone it, that mortgage was paid on time every single month for 18 years and I didn’t want to mess that up!

Addictions are uncontrollable, but that didn't stop me from waking up each day with a plan to keep it from controlling our family's future. I worked multiple jobs, played the financial shell game and spent hours stressfully trying to save someone who didn't want to save himself.

The result: I was falling apart more than I thought that I was keeping everything together. But I held onto the belief that it was up to me to keep it all together.

Speaking of I’s…most of my thoughts began with a self-righteous I.

I was the responsible one.

I was making all of the sacrifices.

I was the one working two jobs to keep things going.

I wasn’t the one with the addiction.

Lurking behind the door of my self-righteousness facade lived a lot of fear.

I feared falling apart - and then everyone would know that I couldn't keep my family together. I feared disappointing God - maybe I wasn't praying hard enough (which is wrong-thinking!)

The weight of an uncontrollable addiction's impact on my life pressed on my soul. I staggered through each day believing that it I could carry the weight, then one day everything would change.

Sure, I prayed. But, I thought that if God hadn't changed anything, then maybe He was okay with me carrying the weight.

Now, I look back and I can see that God was waiting for me to realize that problem weighed far too too much for me to carry...

Here’s what I wrote my Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus Study:

“…we often spend a lot of mental energy trying to stay in whatever fight is most important to us – the fight for financial security, our marriage, our child’s survival, our jobs or our faith. However, fighting in a situation that you can’t change, control, or conquer will wear you down and eventually wear you out. At a certain point, we’ll choose one of two responses. Here are the first two:

1. Giving up is losing hope.
2. Giving in is caving to anther’s agenda.

However, there is a third option: Letting go.

Letting Go isn’t trying to fix or force a solution but living by faith that God will do what is best.”

Recently, I saw a social media post from a well-known Christian author who wrote that letting go is an awful Christian cliché that we really need to stop saying. Her rationale was that saying “Let go and let go” was simplistic when we’re suffering. She argued that the cliché phrase doesn't capture the heart of Christ.

I disagree. There’s nothing simplistic about letting go, or surrender. In my recovery group, one of the slogans is "Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional." It IS painful to feel the consequences of what we can't control. Yet, suffering is worse. Suffering, however, is the mental anguish that we put ourselves through. Letting go and giving our people and problems over to God frees us from our suffering. 

We suffer because we say things to ourselves like "If we hold on long enough or work hard enough, we can fix this" or "I pray long enough, then God will answer my prayer like I hoped."  While we wait, we wake up weighted down each day by our expectations. Just because you hold on doesn’t mean that you can fix that person that you live or that problem that you’re afraid will wreck your life.

Letting go recognizes that we can’t, but God can – and we choose trust whatever He does – or doesn’t do. That’s hard! Like my friend said, “I pray and want to trust God, but in the back of my mind I wonder if He might end up giving me a whammy instead of a blessing.”

Letting go isn’t easy. But, it’s so worth it. Especially when the weight is too much.

This is why I had to stop paying the mortgage. I had to stop filling in all of the spaces and gaps of trying to fix a bigger problem in our family. It wasn't about the mortgage. The mortage was just one of the ways that I convinced myself that all of my efforts were getting things under control. Unfortunately, all of my worst fears came true.

BUT…

While there was a lot of pain, God’s promises and mercy settled like a thick blanket of peace. God saved me from my suffering.

When I stopped trying to fix people and force solutions, I had more time to focus on God. Guess what? When I stopped trying to fix and do all of the things, I could see where God was working.

As Tim Keller said, “God is always doing 10,000 things in your life, and you may be aware of three of them.”

When I surrendered, God showed me how He solves problems. God is a much better people and problem solver more than me.

Now, what about you?

Do you need to let go of a problem or person – even if you don’t want to? Here’s three questions to consider:

• Are you tired of trying to fix problems that aren’t in your control?
• Are you tired of trying to help people who don’t want to do what’s healthy or helpful for themselves?
• Are you tired of playing God?

Dear God, there are situations in my life that I cannot handle – like this pandemic. I am grateful that you can. I’m giving the following situations to you _________________________ . Thank you for taking care of me and what I cannot control. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS: What are you holding onto that you need to let go of? What's hard about letting go for you?

FREE GIFT: Click here to download my free Letting Go Loop worksheet.

COMING THIS SEPTEMBER!

My new Surrendered: 40 Days to Help You Let Go and Live Like Jesus releases! This uplifting devotional book covers your hardest "letting go" topics with personal stories, biblical principles, practical next steps and prayer. You can pre-order NOW for $9.99 through my publisher - that's exciting! 

Are you tired of worry wearing you out? I'm sharing my three favorite fear-fighting tools on this episode of Better Together Facebook Live. These are tools that equip me to calm down and win my win my worry battles.

These scripture-based tools will work for you - and your family, too!  

1. CALM Technique from Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle

2. God-Morning, God-Night Technique from I'm Waiting God: Finding Blessing in God's Delay

3. "The Answers Will Come."

Better Together host Barb Roose is a popular speaker and author with a passion to help women live beautifully strong and courageous in Jesus' name. She's the author of multiple books and Bible studies, including Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus and Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle. Visit Barb's online home at barbroose.com.

Links from today's episode:

• Counter Cultural Parenting by Lee Nienhuis - https://www.CounterCulturalParenting.com
• Take the Character Quiz - https://www.characterquiz.com

Big Ideas from Today's show

1. Know when your kids are mostly likely to connect with you. Take advantage of those times to talk to them and find out how they are doing.

Connecting with our kids means that we ask God for each wisdom.

Coaching is supporting our kids as individuals and lots of question asking - Lee Nienhuis

2. Pray for you kids in three ways:

• Pray for our children's salvation
• Pray that our kids will love God's Word
• Pray that they have a heart for people far from God.

About Our Guest Lee Nienhuis...Lee is an author and passionate Bible teacher. She is the communication specialist for Moms in Prayer International and the host of the Moms in Prayer podcast. A sought-after speaker, she shares a dynamic vision for the next generation of Christ. Lee and her husband, Mike, have four kids and live in West Michigan.

Better Together host Barb Roose is a popular speaker and author with a passion to help women live beautifully strong and courageous in Jesus' name. She's the author of multiple books and Bible studies, including Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus and Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle. Visit Barb's online home at barbroose.com.

There's a lot of changing happening in our world. I love that so many Christians care about showing Jesus love to friends, family and even in the workplace. But, how can we make our workplaces safe for everyone - no matter their color or culture?

 On this episode of Better Together FB Live, I'm talking with Karen McNary, Director of Human Resources for Proverbs 31 Ministries. She talks to us about how we can be anti-racist in the workplace in a way that honors God and loves others!

 1. We have to understand the nature of racism in the workplace.

2. Understand the manifestation of racism.

3. Understand the company culture. (Does your staff represent your customer base?)

4. Advocate! Be aware that the experience for a person of color is different than someone from majority culture. Then, get to know the people of color that you work with - ask questions about his or her experience and listen to the answers without interrupting.

About Our Guest Karen McNary...Karen is a native of Kentucky now living in the Charlotte, North Carolina area with her husband and three active sons.  She is passionate about God's word and has spent time equipping the Church through organizations such as Bible Study Fellowship, International and Brownicity.  In April 2017, she merged her career in human resources and her love of God's Word when she joined Proverbs 31 Ministries and now serves as the Director of Human Resources.  When she's not working, teaching, or blogging at karenmcnary.com, you'll find her uncovering overlooked jewels at the local thrift store.

Better Together host Barb Roose is a popular speaker and author with a passion to help women live beautifully strong and courageous in Jesus' name. She's the author of multiple books and Bible studies, including Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus and Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle. Visit Barb's online home at barbroose.com.