Surrender Is Your Only Path to Peace (Surrender Principle #6)

Surrender Is Your Only Path to Peace (Surrender Principle #6)

by | May 18, 2026 | Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus, The Surrendered Life

Happy Monday friends!
 
Welcome to our new Happy Monday friends from the Women’s Weekend at Sandy Cove Ministries in Maryland. Ladies, we had an amazing weekend! I’m so glad that you’re here, and I look forward to staying connected with you.
Today is the finale of our series called “The Surrendered Life.” For the past six weeks, we’ve leaned into the six Surrender Principles from my Surrendered Bible study. These six principles aren’t “to-dos” for us to follow in order to magically fix our situations. Rather, these guides equip us to trust God rather than take matters into our hands.
 
Our final principle is Surrender Principle #6: Surrender is your only path to God's peace, power, and provision.
 
As women, we love hard. We devote our lives to caring others, and we willingly make tremendous sacrifices for the people and things we love. Even when we’re worn down to the bone, we keep showing up, and  we won't give up as long as we think someone who needs our help. This is what makes us amazing!
 
But there's a but…Our heart for others and our dedication to our loved ones can trip us up when it comes to recognizing when a situation is beyond our control or when our helping is hurting someone. When something isn't working, our mindset sounds like “Well, let me try something else” or “Let me reach out to them one more time.”
 
Does Surrender Feel Like You're Letting People Down?
We drag our feet toward surrender because of the fear that if we stop the swirl of running after people, showing up for every crisis, or trying to fill all the needs, something terrible will happen. We equate letting go of control with letting people down, and that’s not true. Yes, people may become upset if we’re not available to come to their rescue, but that doesn’t mean we’re letting them down. It just means that we stop letting their problems and crises control us. Have you ever thought about it like that?

“Whatever or whoever you attempt to control will eventually control you.”

                                                                                                          -Surrendered Bible Study
A Question for You…
Toward the end of the well-known movie, “The Help,” the villain, Miss Hilly, threatens Abilene with prison as well as exposing Abilene’s participation in a book to everyone in their town. Miss Hilly wants to push Abilene into submission and bend to Hilly’s will. One of the most powerful lines in the movie happens when Abilene steps into Miss Hilly’s personal space and calmly says, “Ain’t you tired, Miss Hilly? Ain’t you tired?”
Perhaps you’ve heard God whisper the same question to you…
Are you mentally worn out from trying to figure everything out on your own?
Are you tired of nagging people to act right when they clearly don’t want to?
Are you tired of sleepless nights where you can’t pray because you’re worrying too much?
 
If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, it's a good sign that you need to stop doing what you've been doing and surrender.
 
Without surrender, our hearts will become resentful and eventually hopeless. Instead of loving people well, our hearts become cynical or even bitter because either the person or situation doesn’t align with the picture in our head of how things should be. Yet when we give the situation over to God, the space where we plotted our attempts to fix it fills with God’s peace. This act of faith pulls us out of hopelessness, but only if we decide to do it.
 
Today’s verse is popular and perfect for our conversation today. As I reflected on surrender, I saw this verse in a new light. Check this out:
 
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need (to surrender!) , and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:6-7 NLT
 
Once we’ve done all we can in a situation, we need to tell God we surrender. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. God’s peace, power, and provision are waiting for us - but those blessings can’t move in if your heart and mind are filled to the brim with anxiety and stress. If you’d like to see more blessings, check out the bottom of today’s devotion for “The Blessings of the Surrendered Life” from my Surrendered Devotion.
 
What Do You Need to Surrender Today?
As we wrap, I don’t want you to start your week with any heaviness in your heart. Friend, can you take a moment and give what’s weighing you down to God? Let’s do this together. We’re going to review today’s verse again. This time, fill in the blank with your situation that you need to surrender to God today:
 
Don’t worry about _______________________; instead, pray about _____________________. Tell God what you need (to surrender)_______________________ , and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:6-7 NLT
 
I’D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU!  If you surrendered something, you can comment “surrender”. As we end this series, I’d love to hear any stories that you’d like to share about what you’ve given over to God and how surrender has blessed you.
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When Fear Makes You Want to Control Everything (Surrender Principle #5)

When Fear Makes You Want to Control Everything (Surrender Principle #5)

by | May 11, 2026 | Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus, The Surrendered Life

Happy Monday friends!
 
 We’re in a series titled “The Surrendered Life,” and if you’ve just joined us, this series equips you to let go of whatever you can’t control so you can experience God’s peace. I love hearing from Happy Monday readers because your notes inspire me! At the end of today’s devotion, I’m sharing real-life stories from Laurie H and Tanya M about last week's Surrender Principle #4 - thanks, ladies!
 
This week is Surrender Principle #5: When fear tempts me to flee, fix, or force my way, I will choose to stop and pray.
 
Let me begin here: Christians are fast to shame each other for admitting to anxiety or fear. Please know that God doesn’t love you less if you feel afraid at times or even much of the time. Some of us have nervous systems that are more sensitive to triggers or fear, but that doesn’t mean God loves you less. At the same time, God doesn't want you in bondage to anxiety or living on constant pins and needles waiting for something to go wrong. 
 
When we consider the Fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, etc.), the Holy Spirit's work to grow us in Christ also rewires your nervous system, making you less reactive to uncertainty and certain situations. Note: God may need to work through therapy, medication, and boundaries, so don't be afraid of those!
 
If we don't address our fears, they will take the driver's seat in our thinking and emotions, and we'll end up trying to fix or force solutions where God doesn't need our help. Chances are, you can think of a time when your fears prompted you to do or say something that you regretted later. When we leave fear in the driver's seat for too long, we may forget how to operate without fear telling us what to do and that doesn't bode well for our mental health or our relationships.
 
Do you need to ask God to move fear out of the driver's seat of your life? Do you need to learn more patience and to trust God more instead of jumping into situations ahead of Him? If so, I'm glad that you're here!
 
I’ve shared today’s verse many times before, but it never gets old as far as I'm concerned. Here it is:
 
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. -2 Timothy 1:7 NLT
 
Fear flees when we’re in God’s presence. In God's presence, we're reminded that He is our safe place. When we're focused on God, fear flees, and we're renewed with strength and hope. The trick is to move toward God when we're afraid, not run from God.  Prayer signals your willingness to let God help you. Help God help you, dear friend!
 
My Story…
If you’ve read my Stronger Than Stress book, you know that the opening lines of the book tell an embarrassing story from my life:
 
“I didn’t realize that I’d thrown those dinner plates through the kitchen window until the sound of shattering glass snapped me back into reality.”
 
During our family’s addiction crisis, my former spouse arrived home intoxicated at 7am in the morning. Instead of leaving the situation to pause and pray, I tried to negotiate with someone who was unable to communicate rationally. The conversation went sideways and tumbled down a terrible path. My mind immediately jumped to every worst-case scenario about the loss of our life as we knew it. I lost it. Fear took control, and I grabbed the dish rack in front of me and launched it through the window. The crash was loud enough to interrupt the steady stream of poisonous thoughts that Fear was feeding me. As I stood around the porcelain carnage, I was embarrassed and overwhelmed.
 
But that day changed me. I told God that I never wanted fear to win again in my life. After Stronger Than Stress was released, one critic commented that I should never have been able to write a book because I did something so irresponsible. Telling that embarrassing story shows the starting point of God transforming my life. With God's help, the spirit of fear stopped controlling me, even though our family’s alcohol crisis would continue for several more years. Praise God!
 
The Choice is Yours!
We can do so much more in faith than in fear! Yet fear likes for us to believe that when something goes wrong, we’re supposed to fix it right now. Let's remember that fear is a liar. When something is going wrong, tell your fear, “God is here, so there’s nothing to fear!” Friends, let's anchor into God’s presence, and He will give us the wisdom if/when we’re to take action.
 
Here’s one powerful tool from my Winning the Worry Battle book that I’ve used and taught to tens of thousands of people that helps me to pause and pray, while calming my body’s nervous system at the same time:
I'D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU! If today's devotion resonated with you, comment and write “No Fear” and I'll know this devotion encouraged you. If you have a story to share about today's devotion, I'd love to hear it. 
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STORIES FROM HAPPY MONDAY READERS

 

Surrender Principle #4: Trusting God’s promises will bless me, but pushing my plans will stress me. Here’s Laurie’s story:
We live in Texas, and our son and his family live in Florida. It breaks my heart to be so far away from our granddaughter, who is about to turn two. At this time, my husband has no desire to move. I have surrendered this to the Lord, then take it back, look at real estate listings, even rental listings, so we might have a place there, making it easier to visit (they live in a small apartment, so we can’t stay with them).  I have not given up the dream, but remind myself of times in the past when the Lord’s timing was right. I have to practice surrender on an ongoing basis. For me, surrendering never seems to be a one-time thing.  -Laurie H.
Here’s Tanya's Surrender Principle #4 story:
I tend to want to rush ahead of God when I'm tired or afraid will go wrong. That's when I stop, get quiet, and take a breath so I can hear God and pray. then I pause and wait. If something happens and the situation gets harder, I listen, but at the same time I'm seeking God in order to stay at peace and look for where His power is working. I've learned to trust that the Lord work it out in His favor. -Tanya M.

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Stop Rushing Ahead of God! (Surrender Principle #4)

Stop Rushing Ahead of God! (Surrender Principle #4)

by | May 4, 2026 | Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus, The Surrendered Life

Happy Monday, friends!
 
Welcome to my new Happy Monday friends from my final Spring Aspire tour weekend. Our team loved meeting those of you who attended Aspire Events in Temperance, MI, Richmond, IN, and Jackson, OH! We pray that your hearts and minds are still full of inspiration and encouragement.
 
For everyone who is new to our Happy Monday community, we're on week four of a series titled "The Surrendered Life," based on the six surrender principles from my Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus Bible study. You can read the first three devotions in the series at the bottom of this blog post!

Friday night's event was extra special for me since our host church was located less than fifteen minutes from my home. Dozens of ladies from my home church, CedarCreek.tv, attended, and my heart was so full seeing them in the audience.

Today's devotion tackles Surrender Principle #4: Trusting God's promises will bless me, but pushing my plans will stress me.
 
This surrender principle seems like a no-brainer, right? Yet it's so easy for us to jump ahead of God, especially when we're afraid or feeling impatient. And when we do jump ahead of Him, we realize that we've overstepped and find ourselves asking God for help to deal with the stress and frustration.
 
One of the best stories in the Bible about jumping ahead of God and pushing for control is the story of Abraham and Sarah. Known as Abram and Sarai in this portion of Scripture, the couple struggled to have a baby. In the culture of the time, men desired children to carry on the family name, and a woman's social value was tied to her ability to have children. Even though they were well-off in resources, Abram and Sarai lacked the one thing they couldn't make happen on their own: a baby.
 
Genesis 16 records what happened when Abram and Sarai became impatient with God, who had promised Abraham that he'd have a son (Genesis 15:2, 4).
 
After many years of waiting, it seemed that God wasn't coming through with what was promised. In time, Sarai could no longer have a baby.
 
In Genesis 16, Sarai launches a plan and Abram agrees to go along with it.
 
Sarai said to Abram, "The LORD has prevented me from having children. Go and sleep with my servant. Perhaps I can have children through her." Genesis 16:2 NLT
 
Why did Abraham go along with this plan, especially when God had already told him he would have a son? It seems that because it wasn't happening on their expected timeline, Abram and Sarai assumed it wouldn't happen at all. So they took matters into their own hands.
 
If you read the rest of Genesis 16, a terrible mess unfolds. Hagar becomes pregnant (Genesis 16:4) and begins mistreating Sarai. Then Sarai blames Abraham for the situation (Genesis 16:5), and at one point Hagar runs off because Sarai treats her so badly. Eventually, God supernaturally enables Sarai to have a baby, but the family relationships are strained and damaged because Abram and Sarai pushed their plans instead of waiting on God.
 
Before we shake our heads at Abram and Sarai, how many times have we doubted God because He wasn't moving fast enough for us, so we took matters into our own hands?
 
Fear and impatience are powerful tempters, and we already know the regret and mess that comes when we are impatient. So let's focus on God's promises. They are so powerful, but only if we know them for ourselves. Here are just a few of the many promises of God. Which ones did you need to read today?
As much as we want our plans to work out or the picture in our heads to work out, what we need is to keep our eyes on God and not our circumstances. Focusing on God's promises keeps our eyes and our hope solely on Him. This means that if things work out, we're good. If things don't work out as we'd hoped, we're still good. But if we're locked into our plans, our hopes are tied to something that is out of our control, and that's asking for disappointment and resentment.
 
Dear friends, I'm waiting and praying right along with you! For years, I've prayed for prodigals and for a future spouse. When I feel fear that God may not answer my prayers, or I'm weary of waiting, I whisper Surrender Principle #4 to myself: "Don't rush ahead of God, Barb. Go at the pace of grace."
 
During my surrender journey, I had to learn to trust God with whatever the future holds, and He is still teaching me. I'm still tempted to straighten out my prodigals on my own. Thankfully, I've experienced the power of surrender and God's unshakeable peace, so I've learned to back off and keep trusting His promises and not push my plans. You can do this, too. It's not easy, but it's worth it!
 
One warning about God's promises: we must be careful not to stretch them beyond their intended meaning. The verses above, along with the other promises of God in Scripture, guarantee God's sovereignty over all things, His faithfulness in all things, and His unconditional love, but they don't guarantee specific outcomes or individual timelines.
 
Yes, there are times when we sense God's leading in a specific direction, but we must still apply wisdom and discernment and be careful about using specific promises to justify jumping ahead of Him.
 
I'D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU: How do you keep from rushing ahead of God, especially when you're tired of waiting or afraid that something bad will happen?
 
Thank you for joining me this week. I look forward to hearing from you!
Blessings, Barb
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Bad-Day-Turn-Around Prayer (Surrender Principle #3)

Bad-Day-Turn-Around Prayer (Surrender Principle #3)

by | Apr 27, 2026 | Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus, The Surrendered Life

Hi Friends!
 
It’s the third week of our series, “The Surrendered Life." Last week, I received this powerful email from Chrystal about Surrender Principle #2, which is: I can choose to live by faith, rather than rush to follow my feelings.
 
She gave me permission to share this note and she hopes that it will encourage you:
:
Barb, while I was on a break at work, I started reading your email on Surrender Principle #2. Then, after work,  I volunteer at our local food pantry. While I was at the food pantry, I received a text message from my fiancé.  Let me tell you, the steam was coming out of my head! I had big feelings! The text message said that his youngest son's mom's car broke down. He let her use a car that he doesn't really drive. I didn't like the idea, and my emotions were running wild. I began to think of your email: I needed to talk to God.  I decided not to act on my feelings but have faith in God and our relationship. I choose to look at the bigger picture rather than my feelings. Thank you so much for the email!
 
I love this!  God knew the encouragement Chrystal needed and let's celebrate her decision to pause to check in with God first instead of following her fire-up feelings. You can do this, too!
Here's this week's Surrender Principle #3 from my Surrendered Bible study:
I can always let go and give my problems to God.
 
Did you know that anytime you're overwhelmed, you can stop and give your problems to God? Sounds so easy, but we forget! Once there's a problem, most of us believe it is up to us to hunker down and stay with it until it's resolved.
Yet some problems start out one size and then grow bigger. And we're still in there thinking we can handle it when we can't. We become overwhelmed and discouraged.
 
Once our hearts start racing and we begin to panic, that's the sure sign it's time to pause and say, "Wait, I don't have to carry this on my own. I can stop and give it to God!"
 
Here's one of my all-time favorite verses: Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. -1 Peter 5:7 NLT
 
God never runs out of room in His arms to hold what's too heavy for us. Even better, there's no timeframe on this verse. We can do it as often as needed! I love the premise that at any time, we can declare a new start for our attitude, our perspective, or our choice to live God's way rather than ours.
 
At any time, you can let go of speaking to others in negativity and choose words that reflect God's grace and love.
 
At any time, you can let go of nagging or helicoptering and choose to allow other adults to be responsible for their decisions.
 
At any time, you can let go of fear and focus on God's blessings and promises.
 
What a blessing it is that we can start over at any time because God's faithfulness and mercy are always available, at any moment! 
 
This means you are never stuck in a bad day, and best of all, you never have to feel hopeless in a difficult situation.
 
INTRODUCING THE BAD DAY TURN AROUND PRAYER
If you need to start your day over, prayer is the best way to reset your heart and mind. In my life, I realized that having a “Bad Day Turn Around” Prayer was helpful. Now, I’m sharing that prayer with you.
 
There are fill-in-the-blank sections so you can personalize it for your situation. If you engage with this exercise and it helps, hit reply and share that with me.
 
Even if you don’t need this Bad-Day-Turn-Around prayer now, keep this handy for a day when you do need it. You can take a screenshot of the prayer. If you know someone who needs this Bad-Day-Turn-Around prayer, you can forward this email to her!
 
I’D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU! Did you need this prayer? Comment “turnaround” and I'll know that this devotion resonated with you!  Also, what songs or Bible verses help you turn around a bad day? Tell me about it!
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Keep Big Feelings from Making a Big Mess (Surrender Principle #2)

Keep Big Feelings from Making a Big Mess (Surrender Principle #2)

by | Apr 20, 2026 | Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus, The Surrendered Life

Hi Friends!
 
Welcome back to our Happy Monday series, The Surrendered Life.” If you missed last week’s kick-off on Surrender Principle #1, you can read it here.
 
This week, we’re moving on to Surrender Principle #2: I choose to live by faith, not rush to follow my feelings. How do we keep our faith in the driver’s seat of our thoughts and decisions and make sure that our feelings don’t grab the wheel? For sure, when our feelings are at the wheel, it’s always a wild ride that doesn’t always end well. Today’s devotion tackles that question with a powerful verse and a helpful tool to calm your big, anxious feelings.

Welcome to our new Happy Monday friends from this weekend's Aspire events in Frankenmuth, MI, Midland, Mi and Garden City, MI. God moved powerfully and I'm so honored we were able to share the Aspire experience with all of you! 

You’re supposed to have emotions! God created us to experience a wide range of emotions in our bodies. Feelings and emotions can be messy! Some of us were raised in families where big feelings led to careless words, yelling, or even abuse. Or, you may have grown up in a family where feelings were suppressed, or you were shamed if you showed emotion.
 
The truth is that our emotions are neither good nor bad. Friend, whatever you feel is real. But our feelings aren’t facts, just attention-getters. Your emotions should draw your notice, not determine your direction.
 
This brings us to today’s verse:
 
Guard your heart above all else,
  for it determines the course of your life.
-Proverbs 4:23 NLT
 
Whenever I see this verse, I’m reminded of comedian John Crist’s popular saying, “check your heart.” That phrase warns us to stop scrolling so much or take regular rest so we can pay attention to what’s happening in our hearts. The wisdom of Proverbs 4:23 instructs us to guard what we think and feel, because our behavior is shaped by them.
 
Back to Surrender Principle #2 - think about the difference between living by faith versus following feelings. If we guard our hearts well, living by faith means we protect our time with God, so we have plenty of time to pray and read scripture, and we can think about them during the day. On the flip side, when we don’t guard our hearts against excessive negativity or go too long without prayer or reading the Bible, the walls of our hearts weaken, and our feelings can run wild all through our bodies. That’s not good. 
 
Here are some questions to consider:
·      When’s the last time that you checked your heart?
·      What are the emotions you’ve been feeling most often lately?
·      How often do you feel like your emotions are bigger than your ability to handle them?
 
I want to be careful to point out that Surrender Principle #2 is about “letting go of following feelings,” but not letting go of feeling. Again, God created us to experience emotions, so we don’t need to beat ourselves up for our big feelings. The goal of guarding our hearts isn’t to make us feel nothing. This Surrender Principle gives us wisdom on how to avoid the mess that usually comes when something strong stirs in our hearts, and we act on it without checking with God first.
 
Here’s some background on how this week’s Happy Monday impacted me: I wrote today’s devotion while traveling with the Aspire Tour this weekend. We had a great weekend, but I also experienced some big, unexpected feelings that shouldn’t have been a surprise, given today’s topic. Life is always waiting to teach a lesson!
 
Last night’s powerful event was hosted by a church that I spoke at in 2017. On the way, I remembered that I was still married when I last visited this church. Cue lots of big emotions all at once!  I felt a wave of grief, sadness, peace, and excitement hit me all at once.
 
This happens to all of us. Then, add in some perimenopause hormones for some of us, the negativity of the daily news cycle, and lack of sleep  - we need to guard our hearts well because this has the potential to create big feelings leading us to say or do things we regret.  
 
Then, let’s add in a little perimenopause, the news cycle, and my preparation for multiple talks, I knew that I needed to anchor myself in God so I wouldn't bounce around emotionally all day. That’s exhausting.
 
I decided to use a tool that I wrote about in my Stronger Than Stress book called SOS Exercise. SOS stands for "stressed, overwhelmed, or struggling." I utilize the SOS exercise regularly. I can anchor myself in God’s care instead of flopping in the wind of my unpredictable feelings. Here’s the exercise:
 
Repeat the following statements to yourself:
1.     I am safe and not in physical danger.
2.     I am secure. I trust God to provide everything that I need.
3.     I am unconditionally loved by God, and He is with me right now.
 
Speaking these present truths to yourself informs your body, especially your nervous system, that even when you feel overwhelmed by emotions or other reasons, your body is physically safe. Even though you may be deep in difficult circumstances, this, too, reminds you that God loves and cares,, so you don’t need to fear the future. This is how we speak faith over our feelings.
 
One more tip: It’s more helpful to calm my body first before I attempt to discern what’s going on.  If you’re like me, intellectualizing (thinking things through) comes easily, but that doesn’t mean it has an effect. Let’s calm the body and then ask God to help us from there.
 
I hope today’s devotion on Surrender Principle #2 was helpful. Only you can guard your heart, dear friends! I promise that the SOS Exercise is effective when used regularly.
 
I’D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU! How do you handle your big feelings, or do you stuff them? What verse helps refocus on God and calm down when you feel lots of emotions all at once?

ARE YOU TRYING TO TRUST GOD, BUT STILL HOLDING TIGHTLY TO CONTROL?

 

Last night, I met Char when she asked me to sign her Surrendered Bible study. Check out all of those tabs! Her Bible study group attended last night's event in Garden City, MI. Char's group leader told me that they are finishing up the study soon, and they will miss it because they've had such a great time. 
 
Char told me that those tabs helped her keep track of everything that she was learning. Love it! If you haven't done my Surrendered study, check it out!
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You Were Never Meant to Hold It All Together (Surrender Principle #1)

You Were Never Meant to Hold It All Together (Surrender Principle #1)

by | Apr 13, 2026 | Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus, The Surrendered Life

Happy Monday, friends,
 
Welcome to our Happy Monday series called "The Surrendered Life." If you've been overwhelmed by situations or circumstances that are out of your control, I'm praying this series equips you to experience more of the peace that God alone can provide!
 
First, a special welcome to our new Happy Monday friends who joined us from my recent Aspire Event and from the ABIDE Conference in Lubbock, TX on Saturday. Welcome to our beautiful community of women around the world! We pray that you will be blessed as we spend time together each Monday morning

I love meeting Happy Monday friends when I'm on the road. Meet Cheryl! She became a Happy Monday reader after completing my Joshua Bible Study. Cheryl attended the ABIDE Conference in Lubbock on Saturday. So nice to meet you, Cheryl!

During this series, we'll cover the six Surrender Principles from my Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus Bible study. Let's jump into Surrender Principle #1: I am not in control of others or outcomes.
 
Not being in control is so hard to accept! In my Surrendered Bible study, I write that as women, we want three things: to protect what we love, fix what's broken, and keep everyone and everything on track. We do a great job at all of this! And because of that, people rely on us for help and we'll do whatever we can. But doing whatever we can doesn't mean that God has put us in control.
 
Sometimes, certain circumstances are beyond our control. Last week, one Happy Monday reader gave me permission to share her story:
 
Barb, I'm invited to my great-granddaughter's birthday party. Yet my grandson did not invite his dad because they're having some kind of issues. I really don't know the whole ordeal, but it's something between my daughter-in-law and my grandson's wife. This problem hurts me so much. I just want to get the four of them together and sort this out. But I'm not in control of others or outcomes. It's in God's hands. -from B
 
I know many of you can relate to family situations between other adults where you truly want to help. And how many of us have tried to help, only to have good intentions blow up in our faces?
 
1. Let's look at the first half of Surrender Principle #1: "I am not in control..."
The reality is that the only person we're in charge of is ourselves. One well-known Christian business owner said, "If I could control the person in my mirror, I'd be skinny and rich." We struggle to manage ourselves, and yet something inside us wants to tell others what they should do.
 
Dear friend, I know you're smart and resourceful. You know how to figure things out! I suspect you've prayed a lot about your situation or about the person who really needs to be straightened out. But that still doesn't mean God has placed the responsibility on you to fix what isn't yours to fix, even if you're impacted by the consequences.
 
Here's the bottom line: Acknowledging that we're not in control is a practice we should take time to do each day! If we don't acknowledge this, we will carry either the weight of the situation or the weight of responsibility, and feeling stressed out or hopeless is sure to follow.
 
The good news is that when we proclaim with our heads and our hearts, "I am not in control..." we begin to make room for God to restore our peace, settle our hearts, and calm our minds. We feel the weight roll off our shoulders, the tension in our necks release, and we can finally breathe again. You may even sleep better at night knowing that God's got it! Think of Surrender Principle #1 as a form of self-care that helps you fight anxiety.
 
Let's Try It: Think of something you are not in control of and say the following:
I am not in control of __(fill in the blank)___.
 
2. Let's move on to the second half of Surrender Principle #1, which is just as challenging:"...of others or outcomes."
 
There's a picture in our heads of how we think others should live or how the future should turn out. Maybe it's a really lovely picture of everyone sitting in church together, robust bank accounts, thriving kids or grandkids, or a husband who picks up his socks off the floor. There's nothing wrong with that!
 
When we release control of others and outcomes, the blessing is that we're more able to cling to hope in God's promises. Another bonus is that we avoid running ahead of God and inserting ourselves into situations that may create conflict with others.
 
Does this mean you stay quiet when someone is hurting themselves or others? Absolutely not! There's wisdom in Scripture that tells us how to approach others, particular believers, but you can reference this wisdom:
 
Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself.
-Galatians 6:1 NLT
 
This verse guides us to helping others, but this teaching doesn't mean you're now responsible for their lives. They belong to God, not you. If you are concerned and would like to talk with someone in a healthy way, here is a resource you can check out.
 
As we wrap up today's devotion…
Even though we may not have control of others or outcomes, God never loses control. We can trust Him! Rather than feeling discouraged by what we see, let us never forget that nothing is too hard for God! With Him all things are possible, and part of that is trusting His timing and His ways.
 
SURRENDER PRINCIPLE #1 REFLECTION
  1. What do you need to admit to God and yourself that you aren't in control of?
  2. Who do you need to stop trying to fix because you realize you're doing too much?
  3. What picture in your head do you need to let go of so that you can ask for help, live in reality, or make decisions that are healthy for you?
 
I'D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU! As you reflect on today's devotion, what situation or person do you need to release control of and surrender to God?

ARE YOU TRYING TO TRUST GOD, BUT STILL HOLDING TIGHTLY TO CONTROL?

 

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