Recently, I drove to Columbus to record the audiobook for my Winning the Worry Battle book. That experience reminded me of the importance of serving God today because we have no idea what will happen in our lives tomorrow.

Narrating the Winning the Worry Battle audiobook triggered an avalanche of memories. I was married at the time that I wrote tradebook. There were a number of serious situations with my kids that hadn't happened yet. If you were praying for me, I appreciated it because there were a lot of emotional triggers to navigate while I narrated the book.

 In one chapter of the book, I narrated a story about hiding under a bed in Honduras after a women’s event because a violent gang fight broke out in the neighborhood where I was staying. Eight people laid dead in the streets that day after the automatic weapons stopped firing. One of those killed was the church’s worship leader, 24-year old Brian Rosales. He was walking to music practice when the gun fire broke out and was an innocent victim. I talked with Brian the night before he was killed. Less than 48 hours later, I was standing at his funeral.

As I narrated that section, I realized that the devastating event happened exactly ten years ago that week. Yet, I also celebrated that what was meant for evil, God used for eternal good. Brian’s faith was shared all over Honduras. Even as the gangs caused more trouble for the church for a season, the church grew tremendously. A few years ago, built a new location to minister to even more people. Praise God!

On the third day, I was nearing the end of the book. As I flipped over to the final chapter, I asked Chris, my sound engineer, if we could just get right to it. This was the chapter that I wrote while sitting in the palliative care unit at the hospital. The doctors explained that my dad had end stage lung cancer and five days later, my dad passed away peacefully at home. I asked God for strength to narrate that final chapter. As I voiced the narration, a special blessing and challenge bloomed again. One that I’d like to share with you.

The final chapter of Joshua includes his personal resolution to the Israelites: “But for as me and my family, we will serve the LORD (Joshua 24:15 NLT).”

Chances are, you’ve heard this verse before. As I narrated that section, Joshua’s words clung to me. His words felt like a beacon of light on a dark night. At the time, he was casting a vision for the future and while he didn’t know what would lie ahead, Joshua already decided that he would put his faith in God.

As I reflect on my experience of recording the audiobook, I was encouraged to know that I’d been living that same declaration the last few years during some long dark stretches of my life. And God has blessed me for it!

I didn’t know that I would go through a divorce, moving out of my home, navigating a child’s gender transition and other difficult moments, BUT, I did know that I would trust God and His goodness. I promised myself that I would live for God’s glory no matter the outcome of my personal story. But as for me, I will serve the LORD.

What about you? Who will you serve? None of us know the future. In this increasingly chaotic world, you can’t predict the future, but you can decide who will lead your future. Just like in Joshua’s time, there are a lot of gods that you can serve. You can serve the god of politics, money, fear, false religion or success or you can serve a God who will always be faithful. If you’ve heard my message on Joshua, you know that Joshua 1:5 is one of my favorite verses:

“No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live.

For I will be with you …I will not fail you or abandon you.”

-Joshua 1:5 NLT

Today, point your eyes to heaven. Stop worrying and obsessing about the future because God is faithful to His promises. Challenge yourself to live faithful to Him!

Fat. Ugly.

Those were the two most common words that over 500 Christian women used to describe themselves when I surveyed them for my first book, Enough Already: Winning Your Ugly Struggle with Beauty.

I used to see myself that way as well. In fact, I believe that if you give a woman a mirror and thirty seconds, she’ll tell you everything that is wrong with how she looks.

Yet, I can’t tell you the number of Christian women who are ashamed to admit how much they hate what they see in the mirror. Jesus-loving women will refer to 1 Samuel 16:7 and say, “Man looks at the outside, but God looks at the heart.” That is true.

What’s on the inside is what matters most to God, BUT, it’s not the only that thing that matters to Him.

God created us, so our bodies are a spiritual matter. How you see yourself and what you say about yourself matters to God.

I call this journey our “ugly struggle with beauty.”

While we can blame culture for our ugly struggle with beauty, a big part of the problem is that we’ve allowed culture to steal the definition of beauty and manipulate it into their own warped standard.

Genesis 1 outlines what you need to know about how God sees the topic of physical beauty. Not only does God create our world, but He uses different shapes, colors, textures and smells in His creativity. He cared about the aesthetics of the world that we live in – think about that!

As God creates the different features of our world, we read His feedback on the work that He’s done: “And God saw that it was good.”

Genesis chapter 1:27 reports on God’s creation of humanity: “So God created human beings in his own image.”

Finally, a few verses later in Genesis 1:31: “Then God looked over all he had made and saw it was very good.”

Here’s where it gets interesting …

The word “good” is translated towb in the original Hebrew language. Towb means beautiful.

There are two truths today reflected in Genesis chapter 1 that can should reshape your ugly struggle with beauty so that you can find hope and encouragement.

1. God is the creator of beauty, not us.

2. You are beautiful because God created you.

You are beautiful because God created you! Your beauty is divinely given and unchanging! This means that even as we age or even as our bodies battle sickness or illness, we are still beautiful because God put His beauty in us and ON us!

This isn’t what our world teaches. Frankly, it’s our fault for letting culture steal what God has created.  

But, today, you can begin to take some of that ground back by reflecting on God’s beautiful truth about you as well as all women. Our beauty has never been based on our size, shape or style.

We are beautiful because God has created us. When you live from that truth, you can smile at yourself in the mirror and know that you are God’s beautiful, lovable, capable daughter and worthy of His best instead of beating yourself up for how your body looks or operates.

TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! What words have you used to describe yourself in the mirror lately? How does the truth in Genesis 1 encourage you?

Reclaim God’s beautiful truth about you! If you’ve been calling yourself fat or ugly, and you know that needs to stop, then check out my first Bible study, Beautiful Already: Reclaiming God’s Perspective on Beauty.

Learn how to see God’s beautiful blessing of goodness and purpose in your body, no matter your size, shape or style.

Does the following scenario between two good friends sound familiar?

My friend: "This was such a wonderful lunch! I'm glad we were able enjoy lunch together."
Me: "You're right. I'm having such a great time."
(Then, the server drops check off at the table.)
My friend: "I'm picking the tab today."
Me: "Oh no! I can't let you do that. Let me."
My sweet friend: "No, I want to do this."
Me: "Absolutely, not! I can't let you. Let's split the check. I ate more than you did."
My friend: "Seriously, Barb. Are we going to have this argument AGAIN..."

My friend, Jera and I have this discussion EVERY SINGLE TIME we go out to lunch.  Why don't you guys just ask for separate checks?! We never do separate checks because each of us always wants to do something nice for the other. The only problem is, we struggle to actually let the other person do something nice for us. 

So, I've come to an unpleasant truth about myself. Sometimes, I can be a bad gift-receiver.

What's so hard about just saying "thank you" when someone offers to do something nice or gives you a compliment? Why do we fight off another's kindness or generosity?

Here's the ugly truth about me in those moments: I'm often reacting out of pride and guilt. It's pride because I'm trying to manage my self-image and not feel like someone's charity case. It's also prideful to think that I have the power to stop someone from doing something he or she really wants to do. There's probably some guilt in there, too. I don't want someone to do something for me that they could be doing for someone else, so I try to stop them. Oh, wait...that's still pride. 

Used any of these following lines lately?

"No, it's okay. I've got the money to pay for this."
"You don't have to do that. I can fix it myself."
"Oh, you don't want to give that to me. I'm sure someone else could use it..."

Have you ever looked into the eyes of someone after you've rejected his or her goodwill or generosity? If we know how great it feels to do something special for someone else, then why are we depriving others of that great feeling? Being a great gift-receiver allows us to bless someone who wants to experience the joy of giving.

How do we re-frame our attitude toward receiving? Here's what I'm trying to remember as we head into the gift giving AND gift RECEIVING season:
1. Remember, most people give without expecting anything in return. Yes, we all know folks who give with strings attached. If you know who those people are, then be careful. But, if you've got wonderful folks in your life who want to show no-strings-attached-kindness, allow them to do so and just say "thank you." Don't hassle them.
2. Receiving from others teaches us humility. When we allow others to do things for us that we could do for ourselves, it helps us to be humble. Humility connects us together and keeps us from thinking ourselves better or worse than anyone else. (I love the story of Jesus washing the disciples' feet! Check out John 13.)
3. Learning to receive helps us to experience more joy in giving! When we remember how great it feels to receive, that often motivates us to want to give more. Bottom line, if you want to find more joy in giving, remind yourself of how blessed you are by what you've already received!

Challenge yourself...So, the next time a friend offers to show you kindness with no strings attached, don't fidget, qualify, or justify, just say "thanks!" and allow them to bless you.

Talk back time...Where do you struggle to graciously say "thank you"? Feel free to leave a comment on this post thread.

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We’re in the sweet juicy middle of the Christmas season right now, friends. I’m just back from my last speaking event of the year in Bloomington, Illinois. Here are photos from that beautiful event hosted by the Immanuel Bible Foundation.

Like you, I’m getting myself ready for the Christmas holiday. Last week, I shared my Christmas confessions with you and loved all of your emails about your Christmas confessions, like:

Hi Barb!

Thank you for sharing your Christmas confessions. I have one: I decided instead of going through the process of making a pork roast for hours then shredding it for sandwiches, I'm going to Gordon's and buying their already shredded pork and heating it up!! My stepdaughter and husband are flying home for Christmas from Arizona and I want to be able to spend as such time with them as I can. I pray you have a blessed Christmas. In Christ, -M

Today, I’m sharing my Holiday Don’t List with you. I created this list to help me let go of control, unrealistic expectations and cut down on frustrations.

1. I don’t assume that all Christmas traditions will stick around year after year.

I love Christmas traditions! Some of my favorite childhood memories include bundling up as a family and driving around our town’s stunning Christmas gazebo uptown and singing Christmas carols. As my kids were growing up, we put up multiple trees in our house and each tree was decorated with a specific theme. We also ate lots of snacks and watched movies on Christmas Eve after attending our church’s Christmas services.

However, seasons of life change. As our family changed, I was frustrated because I couldn’t hold onto those traditions like I wanted to. I spent a few years fighting for traditions that didn’t fit anymore. But, I finally had to let some go. I prayed and asked God to help me know which ones were important to keep and to also help me create and embrace some new traditions.

If you have a tradition that is increasingly difficulty to keep doing or you sense a lot of resistance, then perhaps, it may be time to let it go and allow something new to take its place.

List some of the traditions that you participated in last Christmas, like sending out Christmas cards, hosting family gatherings or opening presents on a certain day.

REFLECTION: Which traditions create connection and which traditions have become a source of conflict (either with others or within myself)? What might you need to let go of?

2. I don’t cook more than one large meal between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

First, let me say that you don’t have to agree with me, but this could rock your world – ha!

Here was the problem I faced for years: I used to assemble a giant Christmas Eve spread, then cook a full Christmas breakfast the next morning too. But, I noticed that my family barely touched the third meal of Christmas dinner later that day because they’d already eaten so many large helpings of special foods in less than twenty-four hours already.

Here’s my strategy: I like to use the “Small, Medium, Large” approach between Christmas Eve dinner, Christmas morning breakfast and Christmas Day dinner.

So, I made one of these three meals small, one medium and one large. For my family, Christmas Eve dinner is medium-sized. I offer three or four appetizers and dessert that night because we play board games and watch a movie after church. Christmas morning breakfast is a small meal. I make homemade cinnamon rolls with bacon and orange juice. That’s it. Which means that Christmas dinner is the big meal and by then, everyone is hungry enough to enjoy the meal.

REFLECTION: How do you feel about the amount of time, energy and effort you spend on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day meals? Can you make any adjustments to reduce the amount of work you’re doing so you can spend that time and energy with your family or resting?

3. I don’t skip pictures.

Ladies, stop skipping the family photos or standing in the back where only your head is visible. Do me a favor…look in your phone at last year’s Christmas photos. How many photos are you in? If you’re in the photos, are you in the forefront or tucked in the back of the photo behind everyone?

Years from now, your grandchildren and great grandchildren should not only hear about your faith and love for others, but give them the gift of SEEING you live it out in photos during the holidays!

Christmas is more than the gifts that you buy, the meals that you cook or even the Advent study that you’re doing right now. Christmas is about being present in the celebration of God sending Jesus to earth for you. One way that you can honor the spirit of Christmas is actually being seen in the memories.

For me, this means not caring that my hair isn’t done on Christmas morning or that I don’t always have on cute pajamas. I want to be seen celebrating Jesus’ arrival on earth. (At the same time, let’s honor each other by getting permission about which photos we’ll share online and which ones will go into the family album.)

REFLECTION QUESTION: Do you need to make it a point to actually be a part of Christmas photos?

TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK: This is my Holiday Don’t List and I’d love to know if you’re agreeing with any of these. What’s on your Holiday Don’t List? How are you making sure that you’re letting go of control and enjoying the holiday season?

Leave a comment below and share your thoughts with me!