by Barb Roose | Oct 27, 2015 | Christian Living/Discipleship, Women's Topics
I woke up this morning and realized that I have only 10 DAYS until my video debut in Nashville. A few months ago, I announced my new project, a six-week Bible study titled, “Beautiful Already.” This new project would include a companion DVD featuring me. Okay, so that previous sentence = mind blown. Honestly, life has kept me so busy this year that the reality of filming hasn’t sunk in until, well, basically this morning.
As I was standing in the bathroom, about two minutes ago, I might have started to freak out. Not much. Just a smidge. A little.
You’re no Beth Moore.
You’ll be fine. Pretend you’re Priscilla Shirer…
Priscilla Shirer is amazing! But, you can’t copy her, you’ve got to be you!
Is being me good enough?
Just a little freak out, right?
When I start freaking out about stuff, I like to capture my thoughts. As an added bonus, I’ve snookered you into reading some of those wacky, nerve-wrecked thoughts. I’m writing a bunch in order to capture my life over next 10 days. If anything, It’s a good idea to have a chronology of events in case I have an epic meltdown and someone needs to reconstruct the timeline…or accident scene.
Here’s two things that you should know about where my brain is that today…
Exhibit A: my flat iron
I was not kidding when I told you that I wrote this post in the bathroom this morning while doing my hair. I dictated while Siri typed…but I had to fix her typos. Blame her if I missed one. And yes, I’m kinda sideways in the picture. #thestrugglecontinues
I’m not a sophisticated thinker in the morning, but as I’m curling my hair this morning, I’ve had an epiphany: Filming a DVD is kind of big deal. No brag. Just a reality check.
Seriously, I’m not bragging. I just haven’t absorbed my soon-to-be reality. I’ve thought about all of the prep work. I’ve thought about what I will wear. I’ve poured hours into research and content. But, I haven’t thought about the road that I’ve traveled to this experience or celebrated that this opportunity has come my way.
Yes, these thoughts should have occurred to me earlier. However, it’s been a year filled with lots of changes, transitions, celebrations and tears, so much thinking about so many things. The DVD has been in the background of my life, looming, but not acknowledged nearly enough.
So, as I curl my hair this morning, I’m getting little excited (which is dangerous when one is holding a hot styling tool). I’M FILMING A DVD, Y’ALL! And since it’s not a workout DVD, I can still eat. However, I’m thinking about that big ‘ole camera and hoping that it makes me look 10 pounds thinner, rather then heavier.
I’m so excited about the opportunity to share with women about how much God loves them, about how we can support each other better, and important messages that we need to know about loving ourselves. I can’t wait to see what God does when this study is released next March!
While I’m doing my hair, I’m also experiencing a twinge of sadness. Now that I’m in the heavy preparation phase, it doesn’t leave a lot of time for celebrating this life-event. It’s go-time and I’m a go-girl – which is usually my problem. Go-girls don’t celebrate life well. #workingonthat
(Goodness, the things I think about when I’m holding a flat iron! So, take a moment to tuck this tidbit away: If you ever want Barb to do deep-thinking, put a styling tool in her hand.)
Exhibit B: #thatshoetho’
These shoes are amazing if you are standing or sitting. Not so much fun if you must walk for hours on end or hitchhike across the country.
These are my favorite pairs of shoes. I love them. Not as much as I love God, my husband or kids, but I totally love these shoes. They’re amazing, right! When I am 90 years old, God willing, I’ll be wearing these shoes! Even if I’m sitting in a wheelchair and these shoes have to be duct taped to my old, arthritic feet, I will keep wearing them.
Believe it or not, these shoes cost about $6.00. I know, right?!!! Four years ago, my dear friend, Lisa gave me a $50 gift card for my birthday. The shoes were $49.99 + tax and that wonderful gift card made those shoes truly a gift! After months of searching, I found these pretties the day before I left town for a speaking engagement with the fabulous Nicole Johnson. I was a special guest speaker for her “Seasons Weekend” experience and I wanted to have a crazy, amazing pair of shoes to wear. So, in true Barb-fashion, I discovered these beauties sitting on the rack just whispering my name. How do I know that they were whispering my name? I wear a size 11. There’s only a few big-feet names those shoes could call and I choose to believe that they called for me.
These shoes have been a part of some of the best moments of my life in the last four years. So, they will be one of the most important items in my suitcase. These shoes are an enduring symbol of how God has dropped unexpected joy, pizzazz and opportunity into my life, even as the circumstances around me didn’t always make sense. I’m looking forward to the moment before the cameras roll when I can look down at my feet and remember a gracious, faithful God who will be right beside me as I speak.
YIKES!!!
So, it’s time for me to get out of the bathroom and get dressed. And frankly, I need to stop typing because trying to flat iron my hair and write this post at the same time is really a dumb idea. Siri did a lot of the dictation, but she’s REALLY bad with the typos.
So, with 10 days before next week’s shoot, I’m going to do my best to celebrate this moment in my life. Today, I’m going to enjoy the new fluttering butterflies in my tummy. I am going to embrace the annoying insecurities that come along with this new experience on the horizon. I hope that I do a great job. I’m praying that God works in me and through me.
And most of all, today, I’m going to smile.
I’M FILMING A DVD NEXT WEEK, Y’ALL!
Thanks for sharing in the journey with me!
Join me! If you’d like to be in the studio audience, I would love to look out and see your smiling face. CLICK HERE for more information to sign up for studio audience!
By the way, my new project, “Beautiful Already” is already available for pre-order on Amazon! If you’re a part of a women’s Bible study group, check it out! Click here for more info!
Coming in March 2016!
by Barb Roose | Dec 31, 2014 | Christian Living/Discipleship
2014…Well, that went fast! It’s amazing how quickly 365 days pass by – especially the good days. Oh, how I wished some of those good days could have lasted a little longer. And the bad days…well, the bad days couldn’t end soon enough.
While I post a lot of positive things on social media about what’s happening in my life, my family or at our church, you’re all smart enough to know that even my sunny flower garden of life has a smelly pile of dog crap dumped in the corner.
Like you, my 2014 doled out it’s fair share of struggles with the kids, tough moments in our marriage, things that broke and cost a lot of money to fix – and so, so much more. There were moments when I thought life couldn’t get any better alternating with moments when I just wanted to crawl in bed and never get out. That’s just life, right?
“Edward Scraperhands” in February 2014
Now it’s December 31. Aaannnnd I’m still singing the song “Let It Go” from watching the movie for the first time on Christmas Eve. My husband rented the movie because we both secretly wanted to see it, but we were too cool to admit it to each other. How come no one told me that this was an animated movie disguised as a film for adults?
Photo credit: deviantart.com
If you’re hating me because you’re singing the song now, you’ll thank me later. “Let It Go” is a great song for leaving one year and heading into the next.
Can I admit that I teared up while listening to the song? Goodness, yes I did.
As we leave 2014, there are three lines from the song that resonated with me. I’d like to share those three lines and a few questions that you may consider as you reflect on how you lived over the past year:
1. “Here I stand, here I’ll stay…”
I love how Elsa stamped her little animated foot as she built her ice castle, causing the snowflake to form as a symbol of who she was. Once Elsa decided it was time to stop running, she didn’t waver or falter. She stomped her foot and stood her ground.
What about you? Did you live by your convictions in 2014 OR did you struggle to know what to believe or say when issues of racism, homosexuality or immigration took over our news feeds and Facebook threads?
In 2015, where do you need to respectfully stand up more for what you believe and not be intimated or hushed by opposing viewpoints?
In April, apparently I grew a moustache.
2. “I don’t care what they may say…”
If you watched the movie, you saw how Elsa became a prisoner to her fear of what would happen if people knew who she really was. So, she hid behind closed doors, shutting everyone – including her sister – out.
How much of 2014 did you live based on what others thought of you? How did it feel every time that you didn’t get a chance to say or think what was really on your mind? How can you live differently in 2015?
As long as we live according to other’s opinions of what we should think, say or feel, we will be miserable because we will not be living authentically. Ask yourself this: Who has God created me to be? What has God called me to do? How has God called me to live?
As we head into 2015, I hope you take the time to figure out the answers to those questions. Then, you tell everyone else with an opinion to shut-up. (Okay, I wanted to be dramatic. Don’t use “shut up” – it’s not a nice word and Jesus wouldn’t use it. At least I don’t think that he would.)
A few weeks ago, I went to Nashville to meet my publishers and I received a copy of my book. One of the best moments of the year
3. “The past is in the past…”
We’re all dragging around old records of life events in metaphorical suitcases shackled to our ankles. The number of those suitcases vary per person. Yet, I suspect that those of you carrying a full five-piece set know that you’re being crushed under the weight of your past.
Are you being held hostage by painful memories or emotionally controlled by memories of the past?
While it’s not possible to erase the memories, you don’t have to suffer when you do remember. Holding onto every single memory of what was done to you doesn’t make you a survivor. Holding onto your need to know “why” something happened won’t make the real pain go away. Hostages are trapped with no means of escape. You aren’t a helpless hostage. God wants you to be free. Surrendering your grip of the pain, anger or worry and giving it up is what frees you!
Here’s some practical tips if you need a place to start moving away from the past:
1. You’ve got let it OUT before you can let it GO… Most of our bad memories stay trapped in our imagination on a continuous replay reel. It’s time to stop replaying the movie and acknowledge each event. Start with make a list of the past memories/incidents/people that cause you to feel pain, fear, guilt or anger. Be specific.
2. Sit down with someone that you trust and share those memories with him or her. There’s a wonderful scriptural principle (James 5:16) that tells us that when we talk about our struggles, that puts us on the path to healing. This is why counseling and recovery groups exist. You cannot let go of the painful past on your own!
3. You may need a recovery group like Celebrate Recovery or professional counseling…If you’ve got a lifetime of abuse and pain, your struggle may be more than a good friend can or should handle. Yes, it’s tough asking someone for help and sometimes, it’s expensive. But, the price you’ve paid for holding onto that baggage has been even higher.
4. Invite God into the new space…Holding onto the past occupies a lot of space in our lives. Letting go of baggage can oddly leave us feeling empty because we’re so used to that space being filled by pain, anger or fear. This is the place where you can invite God to fill. If you’re already a Christian, that’s great! Now God has more room to work in your life. If you aren’t a believer, then consider trusting God with your life and letting Him show you what a life of purpose and freedom looks like.
This year was the year one of my my life-long dreams came true…
My prayer for all of you is that 2015 is the year that you live fully, freely and faithfully. Let go of any past that is dragging you down and let go of the fears that keep you from living as God has called you to live.
Thank you for letting me be a part of your social media life this year. I’ve been honored by every person who has clicked the link to my blog. I pray that you’ve been blessed by what you’ve read. My words mean nothing if you aren’t encouraged, inspired or blessed.
Happy New Year!
Barb
By the way, my new book, Enough Already: Winning Your Ugly Struggle with Beauty is available NOW wherever books are sold!
CLICK HERE for link to Amazon Kindle
CLICK HERE for link to Barnes & Noble
by Barb Roose | Jul 6, 2013 | Reflections
My dog, Quimby and I were out on a walk. I was preoccupied with dark thoughts of disappointment and frustrations while Quimby checked the neighborhood canine newsfeed along the trees.
As we walked down the street next to ours, my eyes focused on a particular home. I quickly remembered a date: June 6. The front door swung open and my eyes shifted. I saw a couple walking down the sidewalk toward their car. I only speak to them once every few years or so. It happened that today would be one of those days. I took a deep breath and spoke: “Excuse me.”
As the couple turned, I felt uncharacteristically bashful, but pressed on: “I just wanted you to know that at this time every year, I remember your daughter.”
Their daughter, Ellie, passed away in early June about 10 or so years ago. Ellie was only eight or nine – the age of my oldest daughter. On our nightly family walk, I would see her parents sitting on their front porch next to Ellie in her wheelchair. Her body slowly draining from the tumor that was ending her life.
We didn’t know their family well, actually, but we heard stories of Ellie’s funeral. A neighbor told me that Ellie’s mother, an school administrator, wanted an over-the-top celebration her daughter’s short life because Ellie would not have a graduation party or wedding to plan for.
A mother’s greatest fear is the loss of a child. Out of that nightmare and through the tears, Ellie’s mother birthed a celebration, complete with beautiful white doves. And I have quietly admired her all of these years for her strength and determination.
This morning, Ellie’s parents were leaving for a birthday party. Yet, after I spoke, Ellie’s dad got out of the car and walked toward the house. My heart sank because I thought that my words may have been ill-timed. Then, Ellie’s mother said: “Thank you. Sometimes, we feel that no one remembers Ellie anymore.”
I stood quietly and looked at the ground. A moment later, Ellie’s dad walked up and extended his hand to me and said: “I’ll give you this and you hand me that.” Well, this was a beautiful flower in full bloom and that, well it was a bag of dog poo. Yep. Hardly an even exchange – but I gratefully accepted the gift anyways.
It was a blurry half-mile walk back to my house. In my mind, I reflected on the hurt that I harbored on this morning’s walk. The pain was real, but as I thought about life’s regrets, mistakes, pain and suffering, I looked through my tears and gazed at the beautiful flower in my hand. The flower that I held was created by the same God who created me. It is fragile, like me. It could be crushed, like me. Yet, it was created to bloom…like me.
Here is the flower that Ellie’s dad gave me.
Then an ancient verse came to mind:
To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes,
a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair.*
We all have bad days. Tough days. And, today is one of mine. So, I reflect on this verse and know that the promise that the scriptural author made long ago to the captive people of ancient Israel is the same promise that is recorded in many places later in the Bible for believers today.
Even after loss, life goes on. After heartache, life goes on. After struggle, life goes on. But, the question is how will it go on?
Will your life go on in hope or despair?
I choose hope. I’m not just wishing things will get better, I have hope that they will. A proven hope in a God that sees things from beginning to end and isn’t daunted by my failures or the failures of others.
Ellie’s life might have ended on this earth many years ago. Yet, today was a moment to remember her life and gives thanks to God for the lesson that it taught me.
*Isaiah 61:3 (New Living Translation)
