by Barb Roose | Oct 9, 2018 | Women's Topics
While enjoying a scrumptious cobb salad over lunch with a beautiful friend recently, she asked about what was happening in my life. I told her about the difficulties that my husband and I were facing. After I shared my story, this dear friend asked, “So, what do you think will happen?”
It’s not the first time that I’ve gotten that question. Most everyone asking wants to know because they are praying for us. So many of you care about our family. God bless you!
But, I also know that it’s human nature for us to want to fill in the blanks when the lines on the page are empty. Perhaps you’ve heard Aristotle’s classic quote: “Nature abhors a vacuum.” In other words, our world hates the unknown and we’ll fill in any answer just to make sure there is an answer, even if it’s wrong.
Uncertainty makes us uncomfortable because without answers, we’re not sure if we’re going to be okay. It’s tempting for us to believe that God doesn’t care. Seriously God, do you know see my life dangling over this cliff? Are YOU gonna fix this or what?!
The control freak in me loves to rebel against uncertainty. In years past I’d do everything in my power, including trying to force solutions to fill in the blanks of uncertainty. I used to rationalize that I was helping God out. Like God actually needed my help. What I really wanted was peace. I thought that fixing people or situations would give me the peace that I was looking for. More often than not, my attempts would result in more pain, not peace.
Uncertainty also creates a dangerous temptation for Christians. The temptation is for us to get on our spiritual high horses and speculate on what we think that God will do. While I believe in spiritual gifts of prophecy and discernment, I cringe when I hear well-meaning Christians say things like, “Oh, I know that God will heal your sister of cancer” or “You just wait! God’s gonna give you a job real soon that will pay twice as much as your other job.”
Friends, we should be careful speculating about what God will and won’t do beyond the promises He has already made to us.
We can trust this truth: God is always at work whether we can see it or not.
But, we cannot know what God is working out behind the scenes and within people’s hearts. Can God heal someone of cancer? Of course! Does He heal everyone? No. Just the same, God can provide jobs and double incomes, but He also allows long-term unemployment, too. God IS the God of miracles! I’ve seen it and you probably have, too. And then God also allows heartache. I’ve experienced it and you have, too.
God hasn’t forgotten about you even as His answer to your prayers still seem to be “wait and see.”
In a long message to the Israelites before they entered the Promise Land, Moses said to the people: “The Lord our God has secrets known to no one. We are not accountable for them, but we and our children are accountable forever for all that he has revealed to us, so that we may obey all the terms of these instructions.” -Deuteronomy 29:29
The reality is that there are things that God only knows and we don’t need to carry the weight of trying to figure the future out. However, God has given us the responsiblity and accountablilty of trusting Him. That’s why I love God’s instructions to Joshua as the new leader of God’s people faced uncertainty at the entrance of the Promised Land. While God is working out His purpose in our lives, He gives us directions to follow Him while He is working. Trusting God in uncertain times doesn’t mean that we sit around and do nothing.
Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.” -Joshua 1:8 NLT
Instead of speculating on the future, we study God’s words to us;
Instead of making guesses, we mediate on God’s promises;
Instead of operating on our own agenda, we obey God’s instructions.
God knows that when we assume accountability for what we can’t control, we will end up stressed out and out of control.
While we think that knowing everything that God knows will relieve the stress of uncertainty in our lives, that’s actually not the case. Think about how complex your life is today. Now, imagine God sent you an email telling you about all of the job changes, babies born, health issues, exciting summer trips, and goodbyes of the next ten years. The stress of all of that information would be too much bear, wouldn’t it?
In my struggle with uncertainty, I’ve discovered three insights that have brought me peace and helped me to embrace uncertainty:
- God protects me with what He doesn’t tell me as much as He blesses me with what He does reveal.
- I don’t want to be responsible for everything that God knows.
- God has given me the knowledge and information that I can handle right now.
So, when my friend asked me over lunch, “What do you think will happen with your marriage?” I answered confidently, “I don’t know. I’m waiting for God’s future for me to unfold.”
It feels good to say that and actually find peace in it and know that I’ve surrendered control. God’s promises are far greater than whatever we’re facing today. As we walk the messy middle of uncertainty by keeping our eyes on God, we actually get stronger!
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint. -Isaiah 40:31 NLT
If uncertainty is causing you a great deal of stress today, stop in this moment and take a deep breath. God is with you and for you in every circumstance.
Uncertainty is tough. But you can take a first step to letting go of trying to figure things out. Can you start with believing just a little that God has only given you the knowledge and resources that you can handle right now? Just believe that a little bit. Whatever you are missing in your life is where God will fill in the blanks in His time. You can be certain that as you trust Him, He will take care of you every step of the way.
by Barb Roose | Apr 3, 2018 | Better Together Podcast
I love the word “gutsy.”
In fact, a gutsy woman is always inspiring to me! She’s the kind of gal who knows that the odds are stacked against her, but she makes a big move anyways. In a world where women are fighting against so much, we need brave, courageous women who are willing to risk it all for something better.
Sometimes, the greatest gutsiest risk we’ll ever take is the one that involves confronting our painful past and choosing to walk the road of healing.
Today, my Better Together podcast guest is Jennifer Renee Watson. I caught up with Jennifer as she was hiding out in a hotel room writing her upcoming book called Freedom: The Gutsy Pursuit of Breakthrough and Life Beyond It” (February 2019). Jennifer is a speaker, writer, pastor’s wife, student ministries leader, and mother of two. Her life journey has been one of brokenness and healing. Now, Jennifer’s passion is to equip others to take their healing journey as well.
As the child of an alcoholic and divorce, Jennifer spent her younger years trying to cope with the ache and pain of the loss of her dad to addiction and the break-up of her family. “My dad had such a great heart and loved people but over the years, his addiction became bigger and louder than who he was as a man.”
Jennifer came to faith in Christ when she was 11 years old. Her new life and hope in Christ helped Jennifer to see that she needed to deal with the brokenness in her life. “When I was in my teen years, I worked hard to deal with my junk. I wrote stories, angry poetry, danced. I needed an outlet to work through things.” Not only that, but young Jennifer made one of her first gutsy moves in life and said “yes” when she felt God putting a life of ministry on her heart.
During today’s conversation, Jennifer talks through what her “healing journey” looked like. Most of all, Jennifer tells us about the powerful way that she knew that healing had taken place when she got the word that her dad died three years ago.
There are times when we hear women talk about the shock-n-awe brokenness of their lives, but Jennifer longs for us to not let our brokenness define us. Rather, she invites us to learn how to offer the fractured parts of our lives to God and let those broken places be a platform to glorify Him.
On today’s Better Together Podcast, Jennifer and I discuss:
- What it means to be a “gutsy” woman;
- How you can use creative outlets to work through your junk;
- What you need in order to take a “healing journey”;
- How to let your brokenness glorify God instead of letting it define your life.
LINKS FROM TODAY’S EPISODE
Jennifer Renee Watson website | Facebook
Finding Joy Ladies Night Out Tickets – click here
LEAVE A COMMENT: Who is the gutsiest woman that you know? Tell us about her and how she inspires you.
About your host…
Barb Roose is the host of the Better Together podcast. She’s passionate about teaching women how to win at life with strength and dignity. Barb’s new book, Winning the Worry Battle and her new six-week Bible study on the book of Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle release in April 2018. Both products are available at your favorite online retailers and stores across the country.
by Barb Roose | Mar 20, 2018 | Better Together Podcast, Uncategorized
“On what should have been the most beautiful day of my life, a switch flipped in my body?”
Have you or someone you know struggled with chronic pain? For 20 years, speaker and author, Melinda Means fought chronic pain and autoimmune disorders that she jokingly referred as the “gift that keeps on giving.”
Melinda is the author of the book, Invisible Wounds: Hope While You are Hurting. As we talked today, she reflects on the years of constant doctors appointments, diseases, and treatments, she felt like the woman in New Testament who struggled with uncontrolled bleeding for 12 years (Mark 5).
Raging within, Melinda’s suffering body was a spiritual wound that spread deep and wide. “I didn’t understand how God could love me and still let me suffer. I know that my earthly father would have healed me from my debilitating pain if he could. So, if my earthly father would heal me because beloved me, then why wouldn’t my heavenly father heal me?”
During my conversation with Melinda, we talk with great candor about the difficult questions that we ask God when we’re in physical, emotional, or spiritual pain. If you’ve ever grappled with questions like why God hasn’t taken away your pain or why your prayers for healing have gone unanswered, then today’s podcast conversation is for you.
What you’ll hear in this week’s podcast:
- The story of Melinda’s 20-year struggle with chronic pain and spiritual struggle with her faith;
- What happened when Melinda prayed a radical prayer in the midst of her pain;
- The ONE thing that you can do if you are in the midst of a physical/spiritual struggle;
- A beautiful new gift God bestowed on Melinda that you can enjoy and download for yourself!
PODCAST EPISODE RESOURCES:
Melinda’s website | Melinda’s book | Melinda’s Facebook page
Finding Joy Ladies Night Out Tickets on iTickets
SHARE YOUR STORY: Are you dealing with something in your life that God hasn’t healed yet? Maybe it’s a chronic illness, a broken relationship, or an unfilled longing that keeps breaking your heart. Share your story in the comments below and bring home to another person who is listening today.
by Barb Roose | Jan 24, 2018 | Better Together Podcast, Women's Topics
I grew up in a family of fabulous singers. But, I am not one of them…
My grandmother traveled with a gospel choir and played as the church pianist for at least 20 years. I grew up watching my mom and aunts sing, too. Their voices are powerful, beautiful and amazing.. They can blow! If we’re friends on social media, you’ve seen photos of my sister, Tonya, who is an opera singer. Watching to her perform always bring a smile to my face that lasts far after her performance is over.
You might be wondering if I can sing. The answer is…meh.
If you happen to pull your car up next to mine in traffic, I guarantee that I’m singing in the car. I am an awesome car singer. The acoustics are wonderful for my marginal vocal ability. If I turn up the radio high enough, I sound exactly like the vocalists in the song. If I turn off the radio and keep singing, just be happy that my windows are up.
In my 20’s I struggled with my less-than-super singing. Since I was from a singing family, having an okay singing voice wasn’t good enough when everyone around me sounded so great.
To increase my confidence, I took voice lessons in my mid-20’s. I felt better when I sang on my ensemble church worship team. But as soon as I had to sing on my own, my confidence faltered and my voice always fell flat. I often wanted to run off the stage and hide. Oh, how I used to beat myself up! Why couldn’t I keep my confidence?
Do you ever struggle with your confidence?
I love it when women tell me their dreams. Some women desire certain job or career title. I get frequent emails from women who want to write or speak. Having a dream is a good thing! But, what do you do when you dream is undermined by your lack of confidence? Some of us have a Debbie Downer living in the dirty corner of our mind telling us things like:
“You don’t belong…”
“She’s more talented than you…”
“Why do you think that you’re special…”
“If you fail, everyone will laugh…”
Six Words to Say to Yourself
Yesterday, I finished Lynn Cowell’s new Bible study, Make Your Move: Finding Unshakeable Confidence Despite Your Fears and Failures. Lynn is a speaker and author who writes and speaks to equip mothers with wisdom so that those mamas can raise wiser daughters. Her six-week Bible study featured weekly profiles of six groups of women in the Bible and lessons in Christ-Courage and confidence, like Shiprah and Puah, the two Hebrew women who refused to follow the Pharoah’s order to kill infants like Moses.
One of my favorite moments was studying Deborah, one of Israel’s judges. Not only was she assigned to be God’s spokesperson to Israel, but she’d received a gigantic assignment: to instruct the Israelites during battle. Just to be clear, Deborah was a judge, not a warrior. But, she went because that is what God called her to do.
As I studied her story a few weeks ago, I was pushing to finish my new book, Winning the Worry Battle. It’s been a tough few months writing back-to-back projects, losing my dad, traveling and then moving through the editing process. For the first few weeks of January, I felt like I was fisting-fighting the Debbie Downer in my mind because I was mentally worn out from the past few months of life. What if you flake out and don’t finish? What if your writing isn’t any good? What if no one buys it?
But, as I studied Deborah, she speaks six words that immediately refilled my soul.
In Judges 5, Deborah and Barak sing a song of victory after winning the battle. As they sing over defeating their enemies, Deborah slips in six powerful words. They are tucked into verse 21:
The Kishon River swept them away—
that ancient torrent, the Kishon.
March on with courage, my soul!.
– Judges 5:21
Did you see those precious words: “March on with courage, my soul!”?
I’ve read, remembered and breathed those words at least a hundred times in the past three weeks. There’s are two powerful lessons for us to remember when we’re under pressure and questioning whether we can actually do what God’s called us to do.
First, Deborah knew how to encourage herself when she needed it. Her encouragement fueled her confidence.
Second, if we trust and know what God has called us to do, let’s stop undermining our confidence while we’re doing it.
How can you encourage yourself today?
- Do I even need to say this? Stop calling yourself names like stupid, idiot, worthless or loser! Those names are not helpful and they will hurt your confidence. As I wrote in my Enough Already book, “Beating yourself up won’t change a thing!”
- Learn how to become a rock star at encouraging yourself. Encouraging yourself is not prideful! The Bible is filled with proclamations of God’s everlasting love for us. Even when we mess up, God loves us. Whispering phrases like, “I made a mistake, but I’m not a mistake,” “I can keep going because God will help me” and “I am not alone, God is with me” – these are how we keep our confidence. Can you start saying these phrases to yourself?
So, how does my story end?
After a few years of constant confidence struggles, I finally stopped singing. I’d taken a temporary break to give birth to my now 17-year daughter. By the time I was ready to begin serving at church again, the music team had re-organized and I found a new ministry where God began to lay the foundation for the work that He’s given me to do today.
Once I began following my natural gifts and talents, I found peace. Not only that, but I could learn and grow with so much freedom. Confidence came from being who God called me to be! I love Lynn’s words in the study. She writes, “We each have different gifts, talents and callings. I am simply a woman doing the assignments God gives to me.
Whatever God has called you to do in this season of life matters, my friend. You don’t need to compare yourself to what the women around you are doing because you’ve got your own amazing work to do. Whether you’re raising your children, working your 9-5 or caring for your parents, confidence comes from knowing that you’re doing the best at what God calls you to do.
Creating a conversation around Christ-confidence is such a vital discussion. Check out Lynn’s Bible study by clicking here. You can also listen to my recent podcast with Lynn by clicking the audio player below:
SHARE YOUR STORY: What are some of the lessons that you’ve learned about being a confident woman?
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by Barb Roose | Aug 27, 2017 | Better Together Podcast
How do we learn contentment in a culture that is always pushing us to pursue more? What are we missing out on if we’re always searching for the next best thing? Listen to this episode by clicking the “play” button above.
Author Melissa Spoelstra shares lessons that we can learn from her new Bible study, Numbers: Learning Contentment in a Culture of More about the Israelites’ journey through the wilderness. While God planned to bring them to the Promised Land, their arrival was delayed because they complained too much.
Listen as we talk about why we default to complaining – even though we know shouldn’t. What are some of the secrets to contentment that we can learn from God’s word?
Here are the takeaways from today’s Better Together podcast episode:
1. We can learn to “secret” to contentment, even if everything in our lives are upside-down.
2. Join Melissa’s Contentment Project – Have you been complaining a lot lately? Learn to move from complaining to contentment by participating in Melissa’s “Contentment Project” starting in early September. Click here to sign up today!
3. Check out Melissa’s new Bible study, Numbers: Learning Contentment in a Culture of More. Available at all Christian retailers.
HOW CAN YOU SUPPORT THIS PODCAST?
My heart’s desire is for Better Together to women across our country and the world who are starving for hope. I want to reach the women across our country who are tired of living fake lives and are looking for real meaning. I want to deliver hope to the thousands of women who are hurting or feel alone. If you’d like to support Better Together, you can do so in these ways:
- Write a great podcast review on iTunes.
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- Contribute toward the monthly cost of hosting this podcast by clicking here.
