by Barb Roose | Feb 8, 2015 | Christian Living/Discipleship
By Tina Bryant
photo credit: Pinterest
Once upon a time there was a man named Jesus. Jesus is a young handsome prince who saved me from many bad, unhealthy relationships. Seven years later he still romances me. We lived happily ever after. The End….
I wish it was that easy.
Seven years ago, I got out of a really bad relationship. It was filled with lies and threats of violence. He told me that “no one would ever want me.” And, I believed him.
After that bad relationship ended, I decided to go back to church.
I wasn’t committed and only showed up on and off. One day, I received a book from a co-worker called Choosing God’s Best by Dr. Don Raunikar. I put it into the dresser drawer thinking: “Why would I want to be God’s choice after all of the things I have done?”
A few weeks later I saw the book again and decided to read it. I couldn’t put it down! My eyes opened to a whole new level of relationships and a style of dating new to me called courting. You see, I always was the pursuer because I was tired of waiting. I always wanted to land the man NOW! Yet, courting means that the man who pursues the woman that he wants to married. Not the other way around. That was revolutionary for me! And since my way of doing things ended badly, I decided to wait to be pursued.
I became more active at the Creek and during that time, I also started to hang out with an old friend. Our friendship grew and I thought “he must be it”. We did everything according to what the Bible told us. But God whispered to me, “It’s not him, I have someone else for you.”
I didn’t agree.
“God, he is EVERYTHING I have always wanted…”
Luckily, God is so patient with me.
“My child, be patient. You have so much to learn.”
I was frustrated. Looking back, I sounded like a 2-year throwing a tantrum because I didn’t get my chocolate chip cookie.
God reminded me of Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
An avid photographer, Tina loves spending time behind her camera. The top two photos are from her Facebook page. Here is Tina on her cruise in 2013. Of course, she just got back from a cruise last week, too.
Last year, I felt God was preparing me for my future husband…
But, before I could have a healthy relationship with my future husband, I need to have a healthy relationship with God. I needed to de-clutter up my schedule so I can spend time with God and sometime praying for my future husband. God reminded that I don’t need to be “busy” all the time just because there is no one at home waiting for me.
As humans, we long for touches, smells, words to confirm that someone loves us. My “love language” is gifts. I don’t expect gifts, but I see how God uses people to show me his love to me. Gifts like a random picture from my nephews or a flower from a friend touch me as well as a random text or a beautiful sunrise. Each of these precious gifts are from God and a reminder that He loves me.
Every so often, my 7-year old nephew asks why I’m not married yet…
He wants to know when he gets to be in my wedding. I love his innocence in these conversations! I always tell him, “When God is done with my future husband.” I love that my nephew wants me to meet and marry, too!
Just the other day, he asked me out of the blue, “Aunt Tina, when is a God done with your husband?” After hearing this, I sensed God saying to me, “That it’s not him I am waiting for, it’s you.” I knew there were some other things that God wanted to work on in my life.
God brought my ex back into my life a few months ago.
I asked God why he would do that after seven years.
“You haven’t forgiven him nor have you forgiven yourself.”
WOW! That is so true! I had been holding on all that resentment all these years. I resented the person I was then and I was ashamed of my weakness back then. Yet, over the past 7 years, God has taught me so much. I’ve learned that I need God in my life and that I need to trust in Him no matter what.
Not everyone is made to be married, and I am okay with that if that is God’s will.
Today, when someone asks me why I am not married, I can say with confidence that God has me on a mission right now during my singleness and when He is ready for me and my future husband to be together we can continue our mission that He wants us to carry through our marriage!
My prayer for you is to trust in God. He knows our hearts’ desire and He knows what’s best for us. Turn your life, your heart and your future marriage over to Him.
Photo credit: Versifylife.com
Tina Bryant is a Central Support Specialist at CedarCreek Church in Perrysburg, Ohio. She works in the Spiritual Formation department and is the multi-campus coordinator of Celebrate Recovery, a Christ-Centered step program that meets on Friday nights at 7pm at all CedarCreek Campuses. You can find out more information about Celebrate Recovery at cedarcreek.tv/celebraterecovery.
by Barb Roose | Jul 24, 2013 | Christian Living/Discipleship
It was exactly a year ago that I woke up on my 40th birthday in a really bad mood.
I hated turning 40. Hated it. Even saying the words, “I’m 40” seemed to stick in my throat. Still does…
In the weeks leading up to my birthday last year, I sensed the likelihood of a meltdown, so I wisely planned a distraction: a partial kitchen remodel. Since I’m not super-handy, I had figured driving back and forth to Home Depot that week would keep me too busy to think about the Big 4-0.
On the morning of my July 24th birthday, I had planned to start painting the cabinet doors. As I mixed paint at 8:15am that morning, I groused to God about reaching this dreaded female milestone. Yet, I also felt guilty for being ungrateful. Afterall, I was alive, right? As I prepped the cabinets, I began to obsess (maybe even panic…) about what might be next in my life. And, what if there wasn’t a “next”? That thought terrified me. I begged God to help me shake off the “40-funk” that was settling into my heart.
At 8:30am, the phone rang. Then, everything changed:
“Barb, you need to meet Life Flight at St. V’s. Your sister-in-law and niece are headed there. They’ve been in an accident. Someone has died, but we don’t know who or in which car.”
Luckily, the hospital’s location is three minutes from my house and I was there within 10 minutes of the phone call. After waiting, I found out that my sister-in-law was alive and my niece was unconscious and in critical condition. Then, sadly, I learned that one of the passengers in the other vehicle had died. All I could do was cry and pray.
It was only 10am…and I was no longer concerned about turning 40.
As we paced through the hours of the day, our brains were in a haze from the overload of information and emotions. Yet, there are certain parts of life that just went on. For instance, it was my birthday, so I still had to get my car registration and tags renewed. At the BMV, I met saw a woman in line that I had seen at the hospital earlier in the day. Later, I found out her name was Ms. Lucy Oliver. As the battle for life and death circled around us, I had a chance to talk with one of St. V’s beloved employees. Weeks later, I would use her faith-filled testimony in one of my weekend messages.
In the days that followed the accident, my brother-in-law and sister-in-law held their daughter’s hand as her body struggled to survive surgery after surgery. Our immediate and distant family members would travel back and forth to the hospital to see and support in many different ways. Time moved fast and slow – simultaneously.
God spared my beautiful niece, Camie’s life. Over the past year, she’s worked so hard to regain the ability to walk and be mobile. She rocked out her academics and will graduate from high school next spring – an entire year early! Camie even got her driver’s license this year! Amazing! 365 days ago, I never could have imagined what today would look like.
As I think about the last 365 days of my life, there are so many different storylines to recall. Days of triumph, joy and peace mixed in with days of darkness, pain and confusion. Of course, I wish that there were more of the good days than bad ones, but as I get older, I’ve learned that the keeping score isn’t the point.
Sooooo, now I am 41. Yep, 41. This year, I choose to be grateful for the chance to live out every unknown (sometimes difficult or scary moments). When I remember that God has plans, not problems, I cope with life so much better.
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.
Jeremiah 29:11-13 (New Living Translation)
As a reforming control-freak, one of my biggest issues is not worrying about the future. Yet, God’s plans are for me. Whatever problems I am currently navigating are a part of His plan and thankfully, I can’t screw up His plan. Whew.
So, if you’re wondering what I am doing for my birthday this year, I’m repeating the verses in Jeremiah 29:11-13 to myself. Over and over again…
by Barb Roose | Jul 6, 2013 | Reflections
My dog, Quimby and I were out on a walk. I was preoccupied with dark thoughts of disappointment and frustrations while Quimby checked the neighborhood canine newsfeed along the trees.
As we walked down the street next to ours, my eyes focused on a particular home. I quickly remembered a date: June 6. The front door swung open and my eyes shifted. I saw a couple walking down the sidewalk toward their car. I only speak to them once every few years or so. It happened that today would be one of those days. I took a deep breath and spoke: “Excuse me.”
As the couple turned, I felt uncharacteristically bashful, but pressed on: “I just wanted you to know that at this time every year, I remember your daughter.”
Their daughter, Ellie, passed away in early June about 10 or so years ago. Ellie was only eight or nine – the age of my oldest daughter. On our nightly family walk, I would see her parents sitting on their front porch next to Ellie in her wheelchair. Her body slowly draining from the tumor that was ending her life.
We didn’t know their family well, actually, but we heard stories of Ellie’s funeral. A neighbor told me that Ellie’s mother, an school administrator, wanted an over-the-top celebration her daughter’s short life because Ellie would not have a graduation party or wedding to plan for.
A mother’s greatest fear is the loss of a child. Out of that nightmare and through the tears, Ellie’s mother birthed a celebration, complete with beautiful white doves. And I have quietly admired her all of these years for her strength and determination.
This morning, Ellie’s parents were leaving for a birthday party. Yet, after I spoke, Ellie’s dad got out of the car and walked toward the house. My heart sank because I thought that my words may have been ill-timed. Then, Ellie’s mother said: “Thank you. Sometimes, we feel that no one remembers Ellie anymore.”
I stood quietly and looked at the ground. A moment later, Ellie’s dad walked up and extended his hand to me and said: “I’ll give you this and you hand me that.” Well, this was a beautiful flower in full bloom and that, well it was a bag of dog poo. Yep. Hardly an even exchange – but I gratefully accepted the gift anyways.
It was a blurry half-mile walk back to my house. In my mind, I reflected on the hurt that I harbored on this morning’s walk. The pain was real, but as I thought about life’s regrets, mistakes, pain and suffering, I looked through my tears and gazed at the beautiful flower in my hand. The flower that I held was created by the same God who created me. It is fragile, like me. It could be crushed, like me. Yet, it was created to bloom…like me.
Here is the flower that Ellie’s dad gave me.
Then an ancient verse came to mind:
To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes,
a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair.*
We all have bad days. Tough days. And, today is one of mine. So, I reflect on this verse and know that the promise that the scriptural author made long ago to the captive people of ancient Israel is the same promise that is recorded in many places later in the Bible for believers today.
Even after loss, life goes on. After heartache, life goes on. After struggle, life goes on. But, the question is how will it go on?
Will your life go on in hope or despair?
I choose hope. I’m not just wishing things will get better, I have hope that they will. A proven hope in a God that sees things from beginning to end and isn’t daunted by my failures or the failures of others.
Ellie’s life might have ended on this earth many years ago. Yet, today was a moment to remember her life and gives thanks to God for the lesson that it taught me.
*Isaiah 61:3 (New Living Translation)
