What you're about to read is the true-life story of a good Christian girl that didn’t know how to have a relationship with God without following religious rules...

(By the way, the first part of my story is from last week's blog. Read that post here.)

Growing up, I was left with the impression that a good Christian never failed to follow the God's “to-do” list: go to church week, try to pray each day, Bible study and avoid the three M’s: booty-shaking music, malt liquor and R-rated movies.  Getting caught doing any one of those things and people would whisper that you were the really bad “b” word…backslider.

No one ever wanted to be called a "backslider" because there was no coming back from that! Backsliders always made the weekly prayer list because that gave non-rule breakers a chance to gossip about, pray for them.

As a kid, I remember seeing one beautiful woman come back to church with her new baby after a season of being labeled a “backslider.” I’m know that God forgave her, but I also know that some people at church never let her forget her mistake.

So, I doubled-down and followed my Christian checklist. I did pretty good! I thought that I was keeping God happy and I avoided getting gossipped about. But, instead of experiencing a greater confidence in my faith, following all of those rules left me battling daily fear. I have to get this right or else God will be disappointed in me.

Unfortunately, during those years, I felt like God always wanted more FROM me, than for me.

Like the prodigal son that Jesus taught about in Luke 15, I’d had enough the Father’s rules. In my first semester of college, I saw a lot of kids having fun, something that Christians seemed to be again. Even though I knew that it was a mistake, I wanted to go off for my own time of wild living.

I think about the prodigal son and even though he was a symbolic figure in Jesus’ parable, I still wonder if knew that he was making a mistake leaving home. I guess it doesn’t matter because he left anyways. So did I. Just like the prodigal went to his father to ask for his inheritance, I knelt down by more dorm room bed and prayed what I knew then was a foolish prayer. And I prayed it anyways.

“Dear God, I want to go have fun like everyone else on campus to be having fun. So, I’m going to go have fun. I’m sure that I’ll be back. Please help me not to kill myself or doing anything stupid.”

I’ll never justify my rebellion in that time of my life or make excuses for the bad decisions that followed. I’m sharing my story in case you or someone you know ran from your relationship with the Father like the prodigal because you didn’t know how to have a relationship with God outside of the rules.

When I said, “amen,” there was no relief. I wonder if the prodigal son walked away from his father with a pocket full of money, mind full of plans but an empty heart.

When I decided to stop following the rules, it seemed like I was abandoning what I called my faith.

What have I done?

Have you ever given up on connecting with God because you tired of following the rules or because you didn’t know how to connect with God outside of the rules?

In my upcoming Breakthrough: Finding Freedom in Christ Bible study, I share about a conversation that I had with a new Christian who wondered if God was disappointed in her:

“Well, I still smoke, sometimes I forget to read my Bible, and when I look at other Christians, they seem to be doing everything better than me.”

Oh, my heart hurt for this precious young women! I sat in silence for a few beats and prayed. Prompted by the Holy Spirit, I whispered to her: You can’t mess up God’s love for you.”

The truth is that God always wants more FOR us than from us.

Religion teaches us that we have to do more or do better for God to approve of us. Yet, the Gospel centers us around the truth that God wants us to receive from Him, not follow rules for Him.

What does this mean for you?

Ask yourself if you need shift your thinking from doing for God and learn how to receive His grace and power in your life. Perhaps you have no idea what it means to receive from God.  If so, I'd love for you to check out my Breakthrough Bible study. Over this six-week study, you'll study the book of Galatians and we'll journey together toward freedom following religious rules so that you can experience God’s great adventure of joy and purpose for your life – and live free from the fear that you’re disappointing God!

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SHARE YOUR COMMENT BELOW:

What are some religious rules that you grew up with or deal with now that create a lot of discouragement or fear for you? How do you deal with it?

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Join me next Monday... 

I’m coming back to my story of what happened after I was pregnant. Basically, I worried day and night that God was going to give me a big “whammy” because I messed up. This part of my story is pretty raw because I was filled with a lot of fear, but it’s also the part of my story when I learned the lesson that forever changed my relationship with God.

INTRODUCING BARB'S NEXT BIBLE STUDY!

Let go of feeling like you are not a “good enough” Christian and find freedom in Christ by studying Paul’s letter to the Galatians in my new study, Breakthrough: Finding Freedom in Christ.

Have you ever felt that being a good Christian means you’ve got to follow a bunch of rules and measure up?

If so, you aren’t alone! In this six-week Bible study of Galatians, Barb Roose shows us that even the believers in the early church struggled to let go of rule-keeping and performance in order to embrace God’s free gift of grace.

If you’ve ever struggled with feeling like God is disappointed with you or felt trapped by rules or religion, this study will provide a path to discover your freedom in Christ.

Join host, Barb Roose, and award-winning author, Robin W. Pearson, as they talk about Robin‘s newest book. As an African-American author of color, Robin wrestled with whether or not people would want to read a story about diverse characters.

Big Ideas from Today's Show

1. We come from many colors and cultures, but have the same God.

In a world that loves to try and divide us, Robin eloquently reminds us that even if our lives look different, we are one because we serve the same God.

2. There is incredible value in hearing and reading about the experiences of others.

Robin's book, full of diverse characters and interesting plot lines, gives us the opportunity to learn and understand an experience that differs from our own. When we choose to learn from the experiences of others, even in our reading choices, it enriches our lives. 

3. We need to learn how to accept God's forgiveness towards us.

Many times when we make mistakes, even if we know that we are forgiven in our heads, we still live with shame and regret. Robin encourages us to accept the forgiveness we have been given and step into freedom.

4. We have permission to show up authentically. 

There is no need to hide the way God has made you. In this episode, Robin gave us permission to show up as our authentic selves without fear!

About Our Guest Robin W. Pearson

Robin W. Pearson's A LONG TIME COMIN' earned a 2020 Christy Award for First Novel. Both her debut and her second novel, 'TIL I WANT NO MORE (February 2021), earned a Publishers Weekly starred review. They show how man's timeless love affair with God affects day-to-day relationships.

Robin's writing sprouts from her Southern roots, and she has corrected grammar up and down the East coast, starting with Houghton Mifflin Company.

Her family's faith, life lessons, and life's longings inspire her as a wife, homeschooling mother of seven, and author, what she blogs about. They're the source of all the characters living and breathing in the stories waiting to be told about her belief in Jesus Christ and the experiences at her own kitchen sink.

Links from today's episode:

Robin's Website

robinpearson.com

'Til I Want No More

 Buy your copy here!

Better Together host Barb Roose is a popular speaker and author with a passion to help women live beautifully strong and courageous in Jesus' name. She's the author of multiple books and Bible studies, including Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus and Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle. Visit Barb's online home at barbroose.com.

March 2, 1992. On that day long ago, I was an unmarried, 19-year old college sophomore sitting in a plastic chair in a small room staring at two lines on a pregnancy test.

I don’t remember if I cried or not. But without a doubt, I remember feeling like I was drowning in the non-stop waves of shame, guilt and failure crashing against my heart.

The rest of the day was a daze. I went to campus and stood next to the current undergraduate student government president as his running mate as the election results were read. It should have been a day for celebration. Yet, all I wanted to do was run to my dorm room and crawl under my blankets.

I was standing in the crowd, but my mind was far, far away. I thought about telling my parents. I imagined the disappointed looks on the faces of everyone at my church. Cycling every few seconds was one thought that I couldn’t stop thinking and it made me sadder than every other thought combined:

I let God down. He must be so disappointed in me.

I envisioned that God was sitting in heaven shaking His head whenever He looked down on me. I could see His disappointed dad eyebrows scrunched up and His frown pointed in my direction.

In the days that followed my trip to the local crisis pregnancy center, I woke up, went to class and then came home and cried in my dorm room.

I tried to pray. But I couldn’t. God doesn’t want to hear from me.

While I was too afraid and ashamed to talk to God, there was a voice, a whisper that spent a lot of time talking to me. The Whisper never seemed to run out of convincing words to say:

“You’ve messed up so badly that you can never fix this.”

“God will never bless you again after what you’ve done.”

“Watch out, something bad is probably going to happen to you.”

The Whisper otherwise known as the voice of lies from the pit of hell, filled the space in my heart and mind with fear.

The Whisper walked with me to class each day telling me that my future didn't matter because I'd already messed it up beyone repair.

The Whisper sat on my pillow at night chattering away, keeping me awake so that my mind would work through endless "what-if" worries and worst-case scenarios - each one overwhelming me with hopelessness because I had no way to help myself - and I was too afraid to go to God.

I wanted to believe that The Whisper was lying, but I'd messed my life up so badly that I was afraid that Its words were true.

Like Adam and Eve hid from God after they sinned (Genesis 3), I made plans to run away.

The week after I found out that I was pregnant, I contacted a childhood friend who lived thousands of miles away across the country. I planned to leave so that I didn’t have to face my parents, church family or God.

I didn't know back then that The Whisper tempted me to leave so that I could be farther away from the relationships that could love and support me. Just as a limping wounded animal on the African plain, I was vulnerable. If something didn't happen, The Whisper would tempt me to leave the God and people that cared about me. In my wounded, fearful stated, I would be devoured.

"Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour." -1 Peter 5:8 (NLT)

Over the next few weeks, I will tell you about how God used the events of March 2 to re-shape my spiritual life and future. This isn't a story about quick fixes or simple solutions, rather I finally experienced the freedom that comes from grace.

If you’re struggling with a mistake in your past or The Whisper is tormenting you over a struggle in your Christian life, I’m glad that you’re here. Today, I want you to know that you aren’t alone.

I wasn’t planning to share today’s story. However, when I looked at the calendar and realized that it was 29th anniversary of what seemed like the end of my life as I knew it, instead, it was the first step in the journey that would lead to toward God's greatest gift for me...His grace.

I don't know what's making you afraid of God today, but can I ask you to do one thing? Tell a trusted Christian friend about the whispers that are making you afraid of God. If you don't feel like you can talk to anyone, you are welcome to email me at barb@barbroose.com and I will pray for you.

Let's pray together right now:

Dear God, You are the God who loves us, in spite of our mistakes and failures. Today, I pray that my friend would recognize when Satan’s whispers try to make her afraid of You or tempt her to question Your love. Remind us that Your love for us is based on Your perfect promises, not our performance. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

SHARE IN THE COMMENTS BELOW: Have you ever felt like you've messed up your life so badly that God couldn't love you anymore? Lately, are there any lies that The Whisper tries to speak to you? How do you handle them?

INTRODUCING BARB'S NEXT BIBLE STUDY!

Let go of feeling like you are not a “good enough” Christian and find freedom in Christ by studying Paul’s letter to the Galatians in my new study, Breakthrough: Finding Freedom in Christ.

Have you ever felt that being a good Christian means you’ve got to follow a bunch of rules and measure up?

If so, you aren’t alone! In this six-week Bible study of Galatians, Barb Roose shows us that even the believers in the early church struggled to let go of rule-keeping and performance in order to embrace God’s free gift of grace.

If you’ve ever struggled with feeling like God is disappointed with you or felt trapped by rules or religion, this study will provide a path to discover your freedom in Christ.

Even in the middle of hard and uncertain times, it is possible to live without fear!

Join host, Barb Roose, and special guest Katy McCown on an all new episode of Better Together! Katy is a powerful Bible teacher, writer for Proverbs 31, mother of 6, and the wife of a former NFL quarterback. She has faced seasons of scary uncertainty and has learned how to trust God’s promises and live without fear.

3 Ways to Live with No Fear This Year:

1. Fix your eyes on God's Word and His ways. 

When we fix our eyes on our circumstances or the world around us, it can be easy for fear to take hold of our thoughts and lives. Instead, Katy encourages us to fix our eyes on Jesus and keep our minds set on His Word and ways. Take some time to reflect: Where are your eyes fixed in this season?

2. Understand the difference between knowing God relationally and informationally. 

It is possible to know a lot about someone without truly knowing them. When it comes to our relationship with God, it is not enough to simply know the facts. In order to live without fear, we need a genuine relationship with God where we are making space in our lives to spend with Him and get to know Him personally.

3. We need to rely on our Savior rather than ourselves. 

Katy shares that the word "relied" in 2 Chronicles means to have a complete reliance to the point where if the thing you are relying on fails, there will be complete destruction. When relying on God, we don't need a backup plan, but to be completely dependent on Him for help, hope and healing.

About Our Guest Katy McCown

Katy McCown is president of She Laughs Ministries, a writer for Proverbs 31 Ministries, and a national speaker. Through all life’s uncertainties and surprises, Katy has learned some things about "living sure" even when the future is not. She and her husband Luke, a former NFL quarterback, are raising six children.

Links from today's episode:

Katy's Website

katymccown.com

She Smiles Without Fear Bible Study

 Buy your copy here!

Better Together host Barb Roose is a popular speaker and author with a passion to help women live beautifully strong and courageous in Jesus' name. She's the author of multiple books and Bible studies, including Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus and Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle. Visit Barb's online home at barbroose.com.

Trust in marriage is vital for a healthy relationship. But how does a couple rebuild trust once it is broken? There is hope!

Married for over 35 years, authors Jill and Mark Savage have experienced God’s incredible healing and restoration of trust after an affair almost destroyed their marriage.

3 Truths About Rebuilding Trust:

1. Rebuilding trust is possible no matter how badly it has been broken.

Jill encourages us to stay hopeful even when our circumstances seem hopeless. When two people are willing to do what it takes, it is possible to rebuild trust!

2. The trust-breaker is the trust-maker.

When trust has been broken, it can be easy for the one whose trust has been broken to try and police the other in an attempt to pull information out of them. Instead, Jill shares that the one who broke trust should be going above and beyond to provide clarity, transparency, and push accountability.

3. Apology and forgiveness don't rebuild trust, but they do start the process. 

Forgiveness does not automatically mean that you trust the other person, but simply that you are opening the door for the other person to begin rebuilding trust.

About Our Guest Jill Savage

Jill Savage is an author and speaker who is passionate about encouraging families. She is the author or co-author of fourteen books including Professionalizing Motherhood, My Hearts At Home, Real Moms…Real Jesus, Living With Less So Your Family Has More, No More Perfect Moms, No More Perfect Marriages (with her husband Mark), and her most recent release Empty Nest Full Life.

Featured on Focus on the Family, Crosswalk.com, Family Life Today and Today’s Christian Woman magazine, Jill is the founder of Hearts at Home, an organization that encouraged moms from 1994-2017. Jill and her husband, Mark, have five children, three who are married, and eight grandchildren. They make their home in Normal, Illinois.

Links from today's episode:

Jill's Website

jillsavage.org

No More Perfect Marriages book

 Buy your copy here!

Better Together host Barb Roose is a popular speaker and author with a passion to help women live beautifully strong and courageous in Jesus' name. She's the author of multiple books and Bible studies, including Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus and Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle. Visit Barb's online home at barbroose.com.