Big Ideas from Today's Show

1. You are doing the best that you can.

In this season, it can be easy to feel pressure to get everything done since many of us are spending more time at home than ever before. However, Barb reminds us that our energy in this season is a lot like a cell phone battery that is struggling to charge all of the way up. With the weight of everything going on in the world, it is okay to not have energy for all of the things.

One practical way to respond to this pressure is to make a to-do list and then choose 2-3 things to accomplish for the day. Celebrate the little wins and take time to rest when needed.  

2. QTIP: Quit Taking It Personally

In both our in-person and online interactions, it can be easy to take it personally when someone responds harshly to us or seems to ignore us altogether. During this time, many people are carrying a lot of burdens that we cannot see. As Tabitha said, we need to "err on the side of grace." Choose to extend grace and not take other people's responses personally.

3. Small practices make a big difference.

Barb and Tabitha both spoke about the power of gratitude. It can feel hard at times to be grateful when so much has been taken away, but Barb gave us the practical idea of creating a gratitude jar. Write down some of the things you are thankful for on slips of paper, fold them in half, and place them in your jar. In times when you are especially struggling, take them out and practice giving thanks for what God has given you.

In this season, many of us are also feeling anxious. Tabitha shared that she has an anxiety playlist on her phone with worship music that helps her to take her eyes off of her situation and put it back on God. You can feel free to add any songs that speak to you, but to get you started, here are some of the songs from Tabitha's playlist:

1. Fighting For Me (Piano Version) by Riley Clemmons

2. You're Gonna Be OK by Jenn and Brian Johson

3. No One Ever Cared for Me Like Jesus by Steffany Gretzinger

About Our Guest Tabitha Allman

Tabitha Allman is an author and aspiring speaker with a passion for encouraging and equipping women in their journey of faith.  Despite being so shy as a child that people thought she was mute, God has been breaking her out of her shell and using her voice to impact men and women alike. She is the author of Steadfast: A College Girl’s Guide to Standing Firm and runs her own blog for young women. She is also the producer of the Better Together FB LIVE show. 

Links from today's episode:

Breakthrough: Finding Freedom in Christ

Grab your copy on Amazon.

Better Together host Barb Roose is a popular speaker and author with a passion to help women live beautifully strong and courageous in Jesus' name. She's the author of multiple books and Bible studies, including Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus and Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle. Visit Barb's online home at barbroose.com.

 “i spent my entire teenage years hating myself because of the shit y’all preached would happen to me because i was gay. so i hope u are mad, stay mad, feel the same anger you teach us to have towards ourselves.” -Popular Music Artist

As I debated about whether or not to edit out the profanity, I wondered who would be more upset about the profanity or the obvious heartache of a young man who felt the judgement and condemnation of Christians in his youth.

That quote was from an artist who released a self-titled video featuring him lap dancing with the devil after sliding down a stripper pole to hell. The video released over the weekend and is currently #1 on YouTube. The song is racing up the music charts and Christians are in hot pursuit of the artist, but apparently, Nike, too since he was reportedly wearing their shoes in the video.

As I read about the video, I am curious about the artist and a few questions came to mind:

• How did he come to the conclusion that God no longer loved him?
• Was his church a safe place for him to struggle?
• What did he hear from Christians that made him hate himself for so long?

Whenever I see comments like this young man's quote, I wonder if this is part of the harvest of judgement and condemnation that we've sown thinking all along thinking that we were doing God's work? 

The sad truth is that Christians are known more for what we are against than what we are for. Let's be honest, Christians know how to chew up and spit out people with judgmental comments and angry words.

I shudder to think how many seats in our churches are empty because we drove unbelievers farther from God away because we were too offended by their lifestyles to get close to them. Yes, people are accountable to God for their actions, but so are we.

We expect unbelievers to behave like Christians when they aren’t.

We put unbelievers' down for their actions instead of putting the emphasis on the life-transforming power of the gospel.

Then, we don't understand why unbelievers struggle to believe that Jesus loves them when as Christ's ambassadors because our hateful words and actions are proof that we don’t love them as they are.

Maybe this artist's controversial video creates the perfect opportunity begin new conversation where we can be a little more like Jesus. He knew how to listen and get close to people who were far from God.

During his years of ministry, Jesus sat in homes of the people that we gossip about and judge for their mistakes and moral failures. Jesus attended the parties of the people that we look at with side eye for coming into church with short skirts, live-in girlfriends, hungover or struggling with addiction.

You can be sure that everyone who invited Jesus over knew that he was a rabbi, a religious teacher. They probably swore and said, “Oh, Jesus. Excuse my language” or they said, “Wow, Jesus, I never thought that I’d see you in a place like this.”

Over a decade ago, I got a nose piercing because as very tall woman and Bible teacher, I knew that unbelievers often felt intimidated by my role in ministry. That nose piercing was one way for me to bring down a barrier. Unbelievers never questioned why a Bible teacher had a nose peircing but I've got many curious glances and questions from Christians. Long ago, a pastor wrote that we should become all things to all people so that we might win some to the gospel (1 Corintians 9:22). This teaching doesn't give us license to sin in order to share the gospel, but it did inspire me to get my nose pierced. And it happens to look pretty cute.

More than once, unbelievers have remarked that my tiny little nose piercing made me more approachable.  In fact, a former classmate who is far from God told me at a class reunion, “You know, I wasn’t going to come over and say hi to you. Then, I saw your nose piercing and I figured that you wouldn’t judge me.”

By his life, Jesus modeled for us that we’re to get closer to the people who are far from God, not shout condemnation at their lifestyle from our holier-than-thou soapbox.

Temperature Check: Look at your social media posts and ask yourself: "Do my posts build a bridge to Christ or do my comments set up a barrier that repeals unbelievers away from me?"

To be clear, Jesus didn’t excuse sin. First, he invited people to get closer to him.

Have you forgotten thatonce upon a time Jesus did that for you? Now, do it for the people in your life who are far from knowing the love of God showing through Christ.

Love connects. Love listens. Love invites. Love leads to truth.

Here are some helpful questions below that you can use when talking with people who are far from God or fallen away from faith.

This week, pray for an opportunity to ask these questions, prepare in the event that an opportunity for conversations  comes up (you don't need to force the conversation.)

Finally, a chance for conversation comes up, then FOR THE LOVE shut your mouth and listen to people. Don't correct. Don't defend. Don’t argue. God’s Holy Spirit doesn’t need you to get into a fight to be right.

Here are the questions that you can use as conversation starters:

 Love Connects:

• Who is God to you?
• Who is Jesus to you?

 Love Listens:

• How do you think that God feels about you?
• Why do you think that God doesn’t love you?
• How have Christians hurt you in the past?

 Love Invites:

• Can I share my story with you?
• Can I tell you about why Jesus is real to me?
• Can I tell you why I know that God loves you and hasn’t rejected you?

 Love Prays:

• Can I pray for you?

PRAYER: God, challenge my heart and expose the places where I’ve made my personal soapbox bigger than the importance of the gospel. Challenge me to listen to and pray for those who are far from You or are fallen away. Use me to draw people closer to You rather than chase them away with condemning words. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

COMMENT: What are some of the ways that Christians can love unbelievers better? What do we need to STOP doing?

Let go of feeling like you are not a “good enough” Christian and find freedom in Christ by studying Paul’s letter to the Galatians in my new study, Breakthrough: Finding Freedom in Christ.

Have you ever felt that being a good Christian means you’ve got to follow a bunch of rules and measure up?

If so, you aren’t alone! In this six-week Bible study of Galatians, Barb Roose shows us that even the believers in the early church struggled to let go of rule-keeping and performance in order to embrace God’s free gift of grace.

If you’ve ever struggled with feeling like God is disappointed with you or felt trapped by rules or religion, this study will provide a path to discover your freedom in Christ.

Big Ideas from Today's Show

1. When the wait feels endless, we can practice taking God at His word.

No matter our circumstances or how we feel, Xochitl reminds us that we can take God at His Word. In the middle of our waiting, we can rest in God's truth and believe that He will carry us through. 

2. As we acknowledge the constant presence of God, we can walk and wait in the power of God.

When we actively acknowledge God's presence all throughout our day, He empowers us to take the next step in the right time. Some practical ways to acknowledge His presence is through prayer, thanksgiving, or worship. 

3. God weaves every detour and delay into His all-encompassing plan for all His people.

All of our stories are interconnected with one another, and when we look around, we can see the ways that God is moving and working in the lives of others. In Xochitl's words, "If he could work in their lives, then He will work in my life...We might not be waiting for the same thing, but we trust in the same God, and He is never changing. 

About Our Guest Xochitl Dixon

Xochitl Dixon serves as a contributing writer for Our Daily Bread Ministries. She is the author of Waiting for God: Trusting Daily in God’s Plan and Pace (2019) and the children’s picture book Different Like Me (2020). She’s written for multiple compilations, including Guideposts’ All God’s Creatures and Our Daily Bread’s God Sees Her (2020), Moments of Peace for Moms (2020), and God Hears Her (2017). Through strong biblical teaching and Scripture-based prayers, she empowers readers to be rooted in God’s Word while growing with God’s people. Xochitl and her service dog, Callie, enjoy connecting with readers on the God Hears Her blog, on social media, and on her blog at www.xedixon.com.

Links from today's episode:

Xochitl's Website

xedixon.com

Waiting for God

Grab your copy on Amazon.

Different Like Me

Buy your copy on Amazon.

Better Together host Barb Roose is a popular speaker and author with a passion to help women live beautifully strong and courageous in Jesus' name. She's the author of multiple books and Bible studies, including Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus and Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle. Visit Barb's online home at barbroose.com.

Big Ideas from Today's Show

1. We serve a healing God. 

Jaime reminds us that whether on earth or in heaven, God has promised to heal His people. One day every tear will be wiped away and all pain will be removed forever. 

2. Open yourself up to receive help.

You don't have to handle your chronic illness on your own. One of the biggest lessons Jaime learned was the importance of leaning on people for help and not carrying the weight on her own. The physical and emotional support that she received from accepting help and being vulnerable transformed this season of her life.

3. God's grace will cover you.

In our times of weakness, the grace and strength of God enables us to do what He has called us to. When you feel like giving up, ask Him for an awareness of His presence and grace. 

4. Your healing doesn't automatically reflect your level of faith.

If you have not experienced healing, this is not an automatic sign that you lack faith. We cannot always understand the reasons why God chooses to heal some and not others, but we can trust Him. 

About Our Guest Jaime Jamgochian

Jamie Jamgochian is a Boston native who has been a Christian recording artist for more than 15 years. Her 2006 single, "Hear My Worship" spent 12 weeks at #1 at Christian radio and she was named Billboard's top Inspirational artist of 2008. Her latest album is "All Things".

She will be featured on the 2021 "Aspire" women's ministry tour scheduled to hit multiple cities around the country. 

Links from today's episode:

Jaime's Website

jaimejam.com

All Things

Find Jaime's newest album "All Things" on Spotify, Apple Music, or on her website's store.

Better Together host Barb Roose is a popular speaker and author with a passion to help women live beautifully strong and courageous in Jesus' name. She's the author of multiple books and Bible studies, including Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus and Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle. Visit Barb's online home at barbroose.com.

This is part three in this blog series. The first part of my story is from last week's blog. Read that post here.)

Do you ever wonder if God is waiting to give you a “whammy” after you make a mistake?

After I found out that I was pregnant at 19 years old, I’d wake up each day and wonder if that was the day that God would “get” me. After all, isn’t that what I deserved? I’d gotten pregnant before marriage. In the dictionary underneath the definition of things that good Christian girls shouldn’t do, getting preggers out of wedlock was near the top of the list. Therefore, I waited for God to get me good.

As I walked across campus each day or when I sat in my quiet dorm room at night, I pondered how the whammy might strike. Would I get hit by a car? Would God just strike me dead?  Would He wait and then allow my new baby to die? Would He allow me to die in childbirth so that I wouldn’t get a chance to raise my child?

Is that too real for some of you? For others, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Perhaps right now, awful thoughts of God punishing you for something that happened in the past or in the last few days are flowing through your mind right now. So many Christians live in fear thinking that God is out to get them! When, I talked about this with a group of women, one woman said, “Yep, when I make a mistake, it’s like I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

In those first few weeks after finding out that I was pregnant, I thought that I would feel relief each day that nothing bad happened. But, I didn’t. It only increased my fear for the next day.

The anxiety of believing that God was out to get me eventually got to me. I had trouble sleeping and I was miserable. I couldn't pray because I was afraid that God wouldn't listen. Also, I didn't want to pray because I thought that maybe if I didn't come near God then maybe He wouldn't come after me.

Far too many people think that God is like a mean boss who is a jerk to all of his employees.

If you grew up in a church where pastors or leaders used fear to command obedience, it's easy to assume that God is like that, too. How many of us still think that God likes to take revenge on us when we mess up?

When we see God like a mean boss, we tend to have one of three responses: fight, freeze, flee:

We may get sarcastic, critical or defensive any time someone talks about God or church (fight);

We may avoid all conversations about faith or church because it makes you uncomfortable (freeze);

We stop attending church or hanging out with other Christians because those  trigger our fear or anxiety that God's doesn't love us or that He waiting to punish us (flee).

Do any one of these resonate with you? One of the bravest acts that you can take today is to be honest with yourself, especially if you’ve been carrying around a mental picture of an angry God in your heart and mind.

Here’s a verse that reminds us of God’s character, even as we sin and by our natural, we are sinful:

But you, O Lord, are a God of compassion and mercy, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness. -Psalm 86:15 NLT

Interestingly enough, there are four other similar verses: Psalm 103:8, Psalm 145:8, Joel 2:13 and Jonah 4:2. These verses are spoken at at different times in history when God’s people had really messed up! They'd worshipped idols, sacrificed their children, been disobedient, you name it, they did it. God's people deserved a line of whammies.

While they faced suffering and punishment because of their own actions, God didn't punish them because He hated them, He allowed them to experience the consequences of their behavior so that they could see that worshipping a loving God was much more life-giving than following their own selfish desires.

God does allow us to make mistakes and run off away from Him. Sometimes, we experience the painful consequences of our sin, but we shouldn't be angry with God for that. We must remember that when we make mistakes, God’s attitude toward us isn’t angry and vengeful. He is full of compassion, mercy and unfailing love.

NOTE…I know that some of my long-time serious sisters in Christ want to hit reply and say, “But Barb, you aren’t talking enough about the holiness and righteousness of God!”

To those who worry that too much talk about God’s love may mislead people to think that God doesn’t care about sin, re-examine those verses. God doesn’t diminish the gravity our sin, He handles our sin against Him differently than we would if we were in God's place.

The following verse tells us why…

 Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin? -Romans 2:4 NLT

When we make mistakes, God wants us to come near to Him so that He can heal us.

Admit it, running from God or living in fear of God robs you of your peace. Not dealing with your spiritual struggle with God can create anxiety, sleeplessness and depression. God wants to free you from all of that!

In my new Breakthrough: Finding Freedom in Christ Bible study, one of the Freedom Principles that you learn is this: Freedom in Christ is living free from fear and fully alive with joy and purpose.

Today's question: Have you been running from God because you're worried that He's out to get you? 

To be clear, you can still be running from God AND showing up at church each week. Don’t let The Whisper or your heart lie to you and tell you that God's gonna get you if you try to get close to Him. That's a lie from the pit of hell. Look up those verses and challenge yourself to straighten out any twisted truth in your heart.

***

SHARE YOUR COMMENT BELOW:

Could you relate to my story today?

Consider the verses about God's compassionate, merciful and loving nature. Do you need to let go of worrying about God giving you a big whammy for something from your past? 

*** 

Join me next Monday... 

Next week, I’ll share about the day when I finally stopped running from God and discovered the power of the gift of grace…even though I got save over ten years before.

INTRODUCING BARB'S NEXT BIBLE STUDY!

Let go of feeling like you are not a “good enough” Christian and find freedom in Christ by studying Paul’s letter to the Galatians in my new study, Breakthrough: Finding Freedom in Christ.

Have you ever felt that being a good Christian means you’ve got to follow a bunch of rules and measure up?

If so, you aren’t alone! In this six-week Bible study of Galatians, Barb Roose shows us that even the believers in the early church struggled to let go of rule-keeping and performance in order to embrace God’s free gift of grace.

If you’ve ever struggled with feeling like God is disappointed with you or felt trapped by rules or religion, this study will provide a path to discover your freedom in Christ.

What you're about to read is the true-life story of a good Christian girl that didn’t know how to have a relationship with God without following religious rules...

(By the way, the first part of my story is from last week's blog. Read that post here.)

Growing up, I was left with the impression that a good Christian never failed to follow the God's “to-do” list: go to church week, try to pray each day, Bible study and avoid the three M’s: booty-shaking music, malt liquor and R-rated movies.  Getting caught doing any one of those things and people would whisper that you were the really bad “b” word…backslider.

No one ever wanted to be called a "backslider" because there was no coming back from that! Backsliders always made the weekly prayer list because that gave non-rule breakers a chance to gossip about, pray for them.

As a kid, I remember seeing one beautiful woman come back to church with her new baby after a season of being labeled a “backslider.” I’m know that God forgave her, but I also know that some people at church never let her forget her mistake.

So, I doubled-down and followed my Christian checklist. I did pretty good! I thought that I was keeping God happy and I avoided getting gossipped about. But, instead of experiencing a greater confidence in my faith, following all of those rules left me battling daily fear. I have to get this right or else God will be disappointed in me.

Unfortunately, during those years, I felt like God always wanted more FROM me, than for me.

Like the prodigal son that Jesus taught about in Luke 15, I’d had enough the Father’s rules. In my first semester of college, I saw a lot of kids having fun, something that Christians seemed to be again. Even though I knew that it was a mistake, I wanted to go off for my own time of wild living.

I think about the prodigal son and even though he was a symbolic figure in Jesus’ parable, I still wonder if knew that he was making a mistake leaving home. I guess it doesn’t matter because he left anyways. So did I. Just like the prodigal went to his father to ask for his inheritance, I knelt down by more dorm room bed and prayed what I knew then was a foolish prayer. And I prayed it anyways.

“Dear God, I want to go have fun like everyone else on campus to be having fun. So, I’m going to go have fun. I’m sure that I’ll be back. Please help me not to kill myself or doing anything stupid.”

I’ll never justify my rebellion in that time of my life or make excuses for the bad decisions that followed. I’m sharing my story in case you or someone you know ran from your relationship with the Father like the prodigal because you didn’t know how to have a relationship with God outside of the rules.

When I said, “amen,” there was no relief. I wonder if the prodigal son walked away from his father with a pocket full of money, mind full of plans but an empty heart.

When I decided to stop following the rules, it seemed like I was abandoning what I called my faith.

What have I done?

Have you ever given up on connecting with God because you tired of following the rules or because you didn’t know how to connect with God outside of the rules?

In my upcoming Breakthrough: Finding Freedom in Christ Bible study, I share about a conversation that I had with a new Christian who wondered if God was disappointed in her:

“Well, I still smoke, sometimes I forget to read my Bible, and when I look at other Christians, they seem to be doing everything better than me.”

Oh, my heart hurt for this precious young women! I sat in silence for a few beats and prayed. Prompted by the Holy Spirit, I whispered to her: You can’t mess up God’s love for you.”

The truth is that God always wants more FOR us than from us.

Religion teaches us that we have to do more or do better for God to approve of us. Yet, the Gospel centers us around the truth that God wants us to receive from Him, not follow rules for Him.

What does this mean for you?

Ask yourself if you need shift your thinking from doing for God and learn how to receive His grace and power in your life. Perhaps you have no idea what it means to receive from God.  If so, I'd love for you to check out my Breakthrough Bible study. Over this six-week study, you'll study the book of Galatians and we'll journey together toward freedom following religious rules so that you can experience God’s great adventure of joy and purpose for your life – and live free from the fear that you’re disappointing God!

***

SHARE YOUR COMMENT BELOW:

What are some religious rules that you grew up with or deal with now that create a lot of discouragement or fear for you? How do you deal with it?

*** 

Join me next Monday... 

I’m coming back to my story of what happened after I was pregnant. Basically, I worried day and night that God was going to give me a big “whammy” because I messed up. This part of my story is pretty raw because I was filled with a lot of fear, but it’s also the part of my story when I learned the lesson that forever changed my relationship with God.

INTRODUCING BARB'S NEXT BIBLE STUDY!

Let go of feeling like you are not a “good enough” Christian and find freedom in Christ by studying Paul’s letter to the Galatians in my new study, Breakthrough: Finding Freedom in Christ.

Have you ever felt that being a good Christian means you’ve got to follow a bunch of rules and measure up?

If so, you aren’t alone! In this six-week Bible study of Galatians, Barb Roose shows us that even the believers in the early church struggled to let go of rule-keeping and performance in order to embrace God’s free gift of grace.

If you’ve ever struggled with feeling like God is disappointed with you or felt trapped by rules or religion, this study will provide a path to discover your freedom in Christ.