Do you have trouble letting go of control? When there’s something that I really want, there is a temptation to engage in what I call the SHINE Control-Loving Behaviors in my Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus Bible study:

• Stonewalling - Digging our heels in until we get what we want
• Helicoptering - Micromanaging others
• Interrupting - Cutting off people’s words/Interfering with their lives
• Nagging - Do I need to explain this one?
• Excessive Planning - Defining every single detail in hopes of controlling the final result

Which one or more of these are familiar to you?

What’s so hard about letting go of control and trusting God instead?

After all, we love God. We believe in Him. Yet, when it comes to certain things in life, we clutch onto our hopes, expectations, dreams, and plans like a two-year-old clinging to a blanket that needs to be washed.

I think that there are three primary reasons that we don’t like to let go of what we can’t control:

1. We’re afraid that something bad will happen.

2. We’re worried that God won’t give us what we want.

3. We worry that God is taking too long and we’re afraid of time.

Today’s devotional is so real for me. For months, I’ve wrestled with God over letting go of a dream in my heart. I’ve surrendered it - and then I’ve run back and grabbed that dream up again. For the past week, I’ve practiced surrendering it each day again. Can you relate?

Here’s a hard truth: Holding doesn’t help. Often, it hurts.

Holding on to what we can’t control will begin to control us. Holding on controls our level of content contentment, our level of peace, and even our attitude toward God.

When your hands are filled with what you’re trying to hold onto, you don’t have room to hold onto God. He wants to lead you and me toward His peace, and toward greater trust in Him.

Maybe today, God’s gentle whisper to us is this: “Let go, my precious one so that I can help you.”

Today, I’m sharing three letting go verses that we can stand on when releasing what we long for, but can’t control to God. First, let’s pray before diving into these verses. Take a breath. Now, let’s pray:

God, I invite You into these next few moments. Use these verses to speak to me and guide me toward Your truth. Amen.

1. Give all of your worries and cares to God because He cares about you. -1 Peter 5:7

Whatever you’re carrying today is probably too much for your heart. God knows this. He wants you to experience His peace, not be weighed down by your pain or problems. Today, give it to God. He cares about you. Here’s the prayer that I’ve been praying the past two weeks: “God, I need to give over __________ to You. I release it and I want to receive Your love and peace. Amen.”

2. So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries… -Matthew 6:34

It’s hard to let go when you aren’t sure how God will handle the situation. Yet, we have God’s Word to remind us of who He is. God is good, faithful, loving, powerful and gracious. Even if you don’t know the outcome of your situation, you can know that God will do what is best and good for you - and those that you love. God will not fail you, my friend.

3. Kind words are like honey. Sweet to the soul and healthy to the body. -Proverbs 16:24

When we’re struggling to let go, we can beat ourselves up for feeling a lack of faith. Do you need to let go of being too hard on yourself? If God gives us grace in our struggles, then speak words of grace and let go of speaking negativity over yourself. Do you need to start a “Stop Saying This” list?

Ugh. I’m so stupid.

I can’t ever get it right.

Why can’t I be more like…

Instead, speak words of grace, compassion, and kindness to yourself. I’m doing the best that I can. God will help me. I am loved by God. Write these down or put them in your phone as a reminder. If this is how God speaks to you, follow His example.

I hope that you found encouragement in walking with me through a struggle that I’ve been dealing with lately. If you can relate or one of these verses was helpful for you, hit “reply” and tell me about it.

Are you facing a problem in life that you can’t fix, no matter what you do?

Are you disappointed by unchanging circumstances? Perhaps you’ve heard the phrase, “Let go and let God,” which suggests that surrender is God’s path for peace for your life. It maybe true, but it’s easier said than done, isn’t it?

This popular six-week Bible study on Jesus' time in the wilderness will equip you to give up control, reach for God, let go of fear, and experience the blessings of the surrendered life. It’s possible to let go and live like Jesus and the result is experience God’s power and peace as never before.

Have you ever read about one of the feasts in the Bible and thought to yourself, "What is that all about?"

Well, in today's episode, Barb speaks with author and recovering expat Alicia Akins about how the feasts of the Bible relate to us today and how we can live with faith in the truth that we are called to live an abundant life. 

 RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE

feetcrymercy.com

Invitations to Abundance: How the Feasts of the Bible Nourish Us Today

Connect with Alicia on IG!

Connect with Alicia on Twitter!

ABOUT OUR SPECIAL GUEST

I receive emails or I’m approached from by Jesus-loving women who wonder if they’re letting God down because they haven’t figured out their calling. Women who believe that they are supposed to be leading some ministry, starting a non-profit, married or killing it at motherhood - and they feel less-than in the kingdom of God because they’re not.

Maybe that’s you. You hear women say, “God called me to do _______” or “God called me to serve ______________” and you’re wondering, Why haven’t I figured out what God’s called me to do? Oh no, have I missed it?!  

When Jesus called the disciples, this is what he said:

Jesus called out to them, “Come, follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people.”

-Mark 1:17 NLT

Jesus called. They responded. Jesus priority was for the disciples to follow Him. Later, when Jesus sent the disciples out in pairs, Mark 6:7 notes that Jesus called them to him, then he sent them out. The Greek word proskaleó for “Jesus called” means that Jesus drew the disciples to Him first for relationship, then he sent them on assignment.

Through grace, we’re called into relationship with God. Popular opinion is that calling is about roles or performance. Yes, people received assignments in the Bible as teachers, apostles, etc. Now, callings can lead to assignments from God, but an assignment shouldn’t be confused with our calling to live as children of God.

My calling isn’t to stand on a stage, teach or write books. This is God’s assignment for my life right now. I’m grateful for this assignment, but it’s not guaranteed for the rest of my life. Some of my past assignments have also included pharmaceutical sales, working for my church and motherhood. The caution is for us to not turn our assignments into our identity. There’s a lot of confusion and pain that happens when we confuse calling with our identity, especially when a ministry role ends or a season of life changes.

When your calling is to know God, then whatever assignment God brings into your life stems from your abiding or connection to Him. When He brings that assignment to an end, you may grieve it, but it doesn’t shake or topple your identity because it always stayed in God, not some external place.

My calling is know God and from my relationship with God. From that identity, I’ll share the gospel, but how that happens isn’t dependent on my job or career.  I tell my friends that I can live out the gospel as a child of God on a stage, on a plane, working at Target or in a hospital bed.

My friend, when you live as a fully-alive disciple of Jesus when you recognize that your calling begins with your relationship in Him…

not in your ministry role at church,

not in your career title,

not in how many people follow you on social media,

not in your status as a wife or mother.

Your greatest purpose is to know Christ. Period.

You are living out your best life when you are living hand-and-hand with Christ.

On Friday, I attended the memorial service of a dear man named Ray. He served weekly as a greeter at our church’s 9am service for at over fifteen years. I also knew Ray from my weekly Al-Anon group. Every single time that I saw him, Ray spoke a word of encouragement and always gave me a hug. Ray also served at Celebrate Recovery as a mentor.

Every person who stood up at the memorial service remembered Ray as a kind, gentle, committed follower of Jesus. What was Ray’s calling? He followed Jesus and from that relationship, God used Ray in powerful ways to encourage others, to listen, to be a friend and to grow in Christ. He never stood on a stage. Ray never had a big ministry. But he made a lasting and positive impact on thousands of people in his lifetime.

I wanted to share Ray’s life with you because I suspect that many, many of you are just like Ray. You love Jesus and you are serving others. However, you’re comparing what you do to what others are doing and it doesn’t feel big enough or important enough.

If that’s you, please pay attention - close attention to what I’m about to say:

If you’re following Jesus and you’re serving God from the heart in any way, then you’re in the sweetest spot of where you are supposed to be until God moves you somewhere else. Enjoy that assignment. Celebrate joining God in His work. When other ask you about what your calling is, you can say this: Jesus called me to follow him and right now, I’m exactly where God wants me to be.

I hope that this devotional encourages you today. If you’ve got a story to share or something in today’s devotional helped you, drop a comment and let me know!

Last week, I saw this updated version of Your Plan Vs. Reality meme on Facebook. The classic version from a few years ago didn’t have flames, spider webs or sharks, but life has changed dramatically since 2020, right? Yet, the message is still the same.  We have the expectation that life will be smooth and predictable. Life keeps proving that twists and turns are a part of every journey.

We have a choice: We can get better or bitter when life twists in a way that we don't like.

Today, I invite you to learn some lesson from a woman whose life didn’t turn out as she’d hoped. She became bitter, but eventually, she got better.

Her story resonates with me because I spent a lot of my life believing that if I worked hard, trusted God and put my grocery store cart back after unloading my groceries, then life shouldn’t throw me any big curve balls.

In fact, I’ve told God on many occasions that I’m not a big fan of curve balls. I want life to be gentle. I’d love to know what’s coming and plenty of time to figure things out. Who’s with me? 

In the book of Ruth, we meet Naomi as her life is in shambles. Her husband is dead and so are her sons. Naomi lives far from her home in Bethlehem and now, she needs to go back to pick up the pieces of her life again. If you want to read all of Naomi’s story, today’s a good day to do that! The book of Ruth is only four chapters long and contains a sweet love story, too. If you can’t, I’m here to give you a cliff notes version with some thoughts for you today:

I remember feeling like Naomi years ago. I’d been married for 25 years when over the course of one year, I had to move out of my home, my husband didn’t want to be married anymore and my father and father-in-law died. I’d wake up in the morning and beg God to bring my old life back because nothing was like before and it all hurt too much.

Life falls apart for all of us. Some of you have been there – more than once. Some of you have written me about lives out of control or unwanted changes. How do you wake up and keep going without getting bitter like Naomi? Maybe you wouldn’t say that you are bitter, but you know that your fellowship with God has been broken. You’ve distanced yourself from God – and you blame Him.

When Life Isn’t Going As Planned:

1. Don’t push away the people who love you and want to help you.

Naomi does her best to shoo away daughters-in-law, Ruth and Orpah, who want to say with Naomi. She thinks that she’s bad luck, “Things are far more better for me than for you, because the LORD himself is raised his fist against me” (Ruth 1:11 NIV). Thankfully, Ruth is tenacious, and Naomi relents. Later, Naomi realizes that Ruth was God’s provision for Naomi even as Naomi was too angry to see it at the time.

REFLECTION: Who are the people in your life that God could be sending to help you? Do you need to stop pushing them away? Be humble and say “yes” when loving people offer to help.

2. Take Your bitterness TO God, Not Make Your Bitterness About Him

Here’s what Naomi said to the women in Bethlehem who welcomed her back home: “Don’t call me Naomi, instead call me Mara, for the Almighty has made life very bitter for me. I went away full, but the Lord has brought me home empty” (Ruth 1:20).

You know what I appreciate here, Naomi is honest. She’s not trying to spread super-spiritual topping over the devastation of her life. The issue is that Naomi hadn’t taken her anger to God.  When you’re angry at God, but not talking to Him, that bitterness will poison you inside out and you’ll drive people away with your anger and negativity. When you bring your bitterness to Him, God helps you work through it to healing.

ACTION STEP: Be honest WITH God about your anger and disappointment. Actually say the words: “God, I’m bitter and angry that You let ___________ happen.” He can handle it.

3. Keep Your Eyes Open to God’s Grace

Ruth begins working in a man named Boaz’s fields. Naomi perks up because Boaz is a distant relative and perhaps for the first time, Naomi senses hope. “May the LORD bless him. He is showing his kindness to us as well as to your dead husband” (Ruth 1:20). Naomi saw the blessing and grace of Ruth working up in the field of a family member who watches out for Ruth. Naomi chooses to see God at work and that begins to change something in her.

REFLECTION: God’s grace is in your life somewhere. Take time today to look for it. Are you willing to acknowledge that even in a hard place of anger or grief, that God is still providing for you – even if it isn’t what you want?

There’s so much more to learn from Naomi! The speedy version is that eventually, she coaches Ruth on how to capture Boaz’s attention. Ruth and Boaz fall in love, which also means that Naomi’s security, family and future are restored.

Today’s devotional isn’t a 1-2-3 easy answer if your life has been heartbreaking or hard. Rather, these brief thoughts are intended to be a flash of hope so that you know that God hasn’t forgotten you, especially if you’ve been wondering why your life hasn’t gone as planned.

Like Naomi, I’ve experienced the restoration of security and hope, even though God has provided in a way that I hadn’t expected. He will do the same for you. God is a gracious God of restoration and renewal.

JOIN THE CONVERSATION: Was your life turned out different than you planned? What was hard for you? How did you see God’s mercy or grace in your life?

Becoming a homesteader may sound totally out of reach, but chances are you may already enjoy some of those activities in your day-to-day life. Do you enjoy whipping up a home cooked meal, taking care of your house plants, or creating a cozy home for your family? Well in this episode, our special guest proves that there is a little bit of homesteader in all of us. 

In today's conversation, Barb speaks with author and friend Kathi Lipp about her move from Silicon Valley to the mountains of California and her journey to becoming an accidental homesteader. Even if you don't aspire to grow your own vegetables or knit your own clothes, Kathi shows us how we can embrace a simpler and more fulfilling life and create a home that we love.

RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE

kathilipp.com

The Accidental Homesteader: What I've Learned about Chickens, Compost, and Creating Home

Connect with Kathi on IG!

Connect with Kathi on FB!

ABOUT OUR SPECIAL GUEST

 These days, buzzwords like “spiritual abuse” and “church hurt” are flying around. At my church, one of our sayings is that “church should be the safest place in the world for hurting people.” It’s a bummer that we have to say this because every church and Christian should be safe, but that isn’t the case.

Today’s question: How can we be safe spaces for others?

Without safety, people won’t stick around to either hear the gospel or grow in grace. Some of us are pretty comfortable in our Christian skin that we don’t always recognize that our words or language is making others uncomfortable.

Being safe doesn’t mean that you excuse sin or you ignore suffering. However, you are a safe space when people (saved or unsaved) can be honest with you about their sins, struggles or their circumstances without fear of abuse, judgement, or being shamed. You are a safe space when you apply God’s Holy Spirit to what you say, when you say it, and even what you don’t say.

Let today be a wake-up call for ALL of us to not only share the gospel, but we will also be safe people who live out the gospel, too.

We can find practical guidance to apply here:

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.

-James 1:19 NLT

Let’s look at the three elements of that verse and how applying James’ wisdom can help me and you be a safe space for other Christians:

1. You all must be quick to listen.

How many of us are quick to give advice, interrogate, freak out or judge? That’s often what happens when someone tells us something and our anxiety over their spiritual condition overrides what they need in the moment.

Here’s the biggest issue: When we’re thinking about our response instead of really listening, we hear their words, we likely miss listening to their heart. When we listen well, we can often hear their pain, frustration, fear, or their grief?

There are some questions that I like asking to help me be a better listener to not only the person’s words, but also listen to their heart and their struggle. Consider asking these questions the next time someone approaches you with a problem:

What’s been hard for you?

What have you been praying about?

Where do you see God working?

What questions are you asking yourself these days?

What kind of support would be most helpful for you?

God is powerful enough to straighten the out. What if God’s purpose for us to be a safe place to hear them out.

2. You all must be slow to speak.

Sometimes, I think that we’re talking over the voice of the Holy Spirit in people’s lives. They share something and we’re right there with something to say. What if the Holy Spirit is speaking to their hearts in that moment? What if we paused to give the person space to hear a possible leading from God’s Spirit?

In my weekly Al-Anon meetings, we keep our space safe by NOT giving advice after someone shares their story or even their frustration. Happy Monday Community, can we admit that we often don’t know the full 360 view of a person’s problem or journey, but God’s Spirit does. Let’s get out of the way after someone shares and give the Spirit some space to speak to them.

If you need to say something, try encouraging words like “Thank you for sharing that with us” or “We’re so glad that you are here” or “We are here and we’re praying for you.”

After the meeting, if you still feel God prompting you to speak, then you can approach the person and ask permission to share something on your heart.

3. You all must be slow to get angry.

Anger is a self-centered emotion. When we’re angry, it’s about what we’re feeling inside, not about someone else. We get angry when we’re offended or we’re outraged by others sin. We’re slow to get angry when we remember our sins and our struggles so we’re not quick to get offended or judge. Since God is slow to anger with us, then we need to model that and coach ourselves to not be so quick to be disappointed, offended, judgmental or critical of others.

REFLECTION: As you think about being a safe space as a Christian for others, what else would you add to today’s devotional? When you reflect on James 1:19, which one(s) stand out to you?