by Barb Roose | Jul 20, 2015 | Christian Living/Discipleship
I love adventure! To a certain extent, I’m even wired for it. Embracing a challenge that makes my blood rush gives me a thrill. While I’m not interested in pushing the odds of an early demise, I like to push myself from time to time.
One of the best adventures of all was when I went skydiving in June 2011. Whenever I talk about going skydiving, the first question people ask is WHY?! Well, the simple answer is that I didn’t want to pet a tarantula. Ha!
In June 2011, I prepared to give a weekend message about Caleb and Joshua from the Old Testament. The message theme was courage, so as our top-notch programming team suggested that I do something courageous to kick off the series. The room started buzzing at that point and I knew what was coming:
Someone: “I’VE GOT IT! Barb, you could go to the zoo and pet a tarantula.”
Me: “No.”
Someone: “But, that would take courage.”
Me: “Sobbing hysterically and peeing my pants on camera isn’t courageous. What else we got?”
Someone else: “You could go skydiving. Hahaha!!”
We called 1-800-SKY-DIVE and just like that, I was going skydiving. THE NEXT DAY.
The next morning, I drove 2 1/2 hours east to a little town just outside of Canton, Ohio with one of our arts pastors and one of our videographers. My parents only lived about 30 minutes from where I would do the jump, but I figured I would call them after I survived instead of before. No need to worry them, right? After all, I promised my husband that I would try to not die and that I’d be home in time to make dinner.
On arrival, there were lots of papers to sign, but it really could have been summed up by stating “If you die, it isn’t our fault.” Then, I headed over to pick up my jumpsuit. I’m not a jumpsuit kinda girl, and they don’t exactly make them cute, but whatever.
Next, I participated in a 30-minute instructional session and learned how parachutes worked. They also explained what I needed to do in the air and most importantly, right before landing. Remembering those important details kept my mind off the fact that I would freefall 10,000 ft to the ground.
Then, I met my jump partner, Mike. My suit had a hook that would be tethered to Mike’s hook on the way down. Why? Because 30-minutes isn’t nearly enough time to learn how to jump out of an airplane on my own and survive. Imagine my thrill when Mike mentioned that he’s jumped out of an airplane over 5,000 times. Jumping out of a plane for Mike was like driving to work for me. And, Mike was tall, so I didn’t have to worry about squishing him if we landed wrong.
Mike and I walking out to the plane. Excited, but nervous!
Notice how I’m tucked up right next to the pilot. It was a tight space, but I had enough room to fold my little hands together and pray.
Finally, it was time.
Mike and I walked out to the teeniest, tiniest, dinky little plane I’d ever seen. There wasn’t enough room for me to sit in the back with the other two jumpers. So I sat in a space on the floor next to the pilot, facing toward the back of the plane. As we taxied down the field, the pilot told us that it would take about 20 minutes for us to reach our jump zone. That meant I had 20 minutes to think. And pray. And pray more. There was lots ‘o praying.
Here’s the video from the weekend message, including the skydive. Just keep reading after the video!
Lots of people asked me if I was scared. Not really. I like to sum it up in one word: crazy! Free-falling at 120mph is pretty wild. I loved how fast we were moving through the air and I was excited that Mike was doing all of the work so that I could enjoy the moment. I was tethered to someone who knew what he was doing and that made all of the difference.
Just the same is if you walk with God, you’re tethered to Him and He will never leave you alone.
So, the point of sharing my story wasn’t to convince you to go skydiving. But, I hope that my story might prod you toward in to take a brave step of faith toward some place God has been calling you to go. For every place God calls you to go, He goes with you – and that’s the most important thing to remember.
In the Old Testament, there were numerous times when God reminds His people to press forward, even though they might be worried about how things will turn out. Here’s God’s reminder:
“This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9
These are the words I want to leave you with today. For whatever you are facing today that makes you anxious, afraid, or discouraged, you are not alone. When we think that we’re all alone, it’s never a good feeling. Yet, in both the Old and New Testament, we see God’s constant message that even though we live in a world where bad things happen and evil exists, God is present. We can press forward through difficult, even tragic circumstances with bravery and courage when we remember that God is present and will strengthen us through our trials.
Be strong and courageous, today.
This photo was captured mid-air during my skydive. I call it my “Kermit the Frog” picture.
Thanks for stopping my blog today! If you think someone might be encouraged my today’s post, you can share it by hitting one of the share buttons at the top of the post. If you’d like to receive weekly encouragement, join my mailing list. It’s easy, just CLICK HERE!
by Barb Roose | Jun 29, 2015 | Christian Living/Discipleship
Congrats, Pixar. You made me cry during another one of your movies. Again.
My hubby, two younger daughter and I went to see “Inside Out” a few days ago. Imagine my annoyance when I had to reach for a tissue. It’s a cartoon for goodness’ sake! I think that making adults cry at movies is some kind on conspiracy. In fact, my conspiracy has a name. I call it the “Bambie Effect.” ‘Cause upon a time, Disney killed off Bambie’s mom and made adults cry. Walt’s people got away with it and Pixar has perfected the art of making adults cry at animated movies. #Up #ToyStory3
“Inside Out” is a movie about feelings. Yep, feelings finally got their own feature movie. This digital psychological journey animates all of the emotions that we have at some point or another. We meet colorful and interesting emotions named Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger and Disgust. Movie watchers observe the dynamics and dynamite between those emotions as they struggle to help the main character, Riley, navigate her feelings after moving cross-country with her family.
It doesn’t take long before I realize that the movie’s theme presses us with the following question: Can our dogged pursuit of happiness actually hurt us?
Photo credit: hercampus.com
Photo credit: babyrazzi.com
The answer is yes. We watch as well-meaning Joy ends up causing Riley most amount of pain in the movie. As I watched Joy’s well-intentioned efforts cause pain and mayhem, a few thoughts came to mind during the movie:
When happiness is our highest goal, we’re tempted to manipulate what we value in order to achieve it.
How often do we long just to be happy? We want to be happy. We want to make other people happy. Yet, our pursuit of happiness might be at the expense of other more important things.
In her singular mission to try to keep Riley happy, Joy moved and manipulated the other emotions out of her self-righteous way. If Riley was in the midst of a bad day, Joy raced to replace Riley’s bad memory with a happy one. If Riley had a nightmare, Joy rushed in to whisk it away. As Joy bounced all over the command center switching and moving memories to keep Riley a happy girl, we had an impending sense of doom.
When things in our lives starts sliding in the wrong direction, we start clawing for happiness because anxiety, pain and anger just feel bad. There are times when we feel like we’re stuck on a losing streak, right? Our car breaks down. Then, the basement floods. Next, our kids’ get sick or we break the screen on our iPhone. When we have so many bad feelings, we are desperate to feel good. If we get desperate enough, we’ll grab for happiness wherever we can find it – even if it’s not good for us. You can fill-in-the-blank for whatever that might be for you: overspending, overeating, sexual irresponsibility, theft, etc. Have you ever made a bad decision because you wanted to enjoy a good feeling?
As the movie unfolds, young Riley’s distress mounts. The other emotions call out caution, but Joy pushes for happiness. She didn’t want Riley to dwell on sad memories. Furthermore, Joy doesn’t want listen to the other emotions’ input. I cringed as i watched Joy rush to phrases I’ve used before: “Let’s focus on the positive and what’s going right” or “It will be just fine.”
Sometimes, we need to lean into our sadness…
I learned the most from Sadness in the movie. I’m an realistic optimist. I know that bad things happen in this world. I’m not stranger to problems and heartache, but I maintain my optimism. So, the movie’s character, Sadness, grated on my nerves. Sadness shuffled around with seemingly nothing to offer. There were problems to solve and frankly, Sadness wasn’t helping. At one point, Joy drew a circle and asked Sadness to step inside and stay out of the way. As rude as that moment seemed, I’ve been guilty of something similar. If I just stay positive…No negative thinking…
As the movie went on, Joy and Sadness were separated from the rest of the emotions. This ends up being a good thing. There is a pivotal scene where Sadness creates an opportunity for another character to grieve and move on past a painful event and smile again. Joy realizes letting Sadness be a part of Riley’s memories wouldn’t ruin the joy of those memories. Instead, Sadness gave Riley’s memories much more impact and depth.
This is a deep and profound truth for all of us.
My most precious memories are made up of heartbreaking moments combined with the presence of treasured friends. In difficult moments, sadness is the emotion that slows us down so that others can care for us.
Sadness creates space for friends to sit with us in our despair and let us know that we are not alone. During sad times, friends embrace us and comfort us just by being there. Sadness is often the emotion that attracts compassion and pours it into our lives.
If heartache is part of our humanity, then it’s possible for sadness to be a gift.
Imagine how cold and callous we would be if bad things happened and we didn’t pause to feel them deeply or acknowledge their impact on our lives? Pretending that life doesn’t hurt actually hurts us. Pretending that we aren’t wounded may actually come from a place of pride. We don’t want others to know that we are just like everyone else. If I am not careful, this is the very place I can end up. The healthiest of humans know that deep pain cannot be healed in a vacuum. Time does not heal all wounds, but friends can. And we should not be afraid or ashamed to let others comfort us.
Compassion is powerful and helps us heal. Often, won’t realize how much we need compassion until we receive it. We shouldn’t be afraid to let others who us compassion, especially since the givers of such compassion have experienced the power of receiving it. Here’s a verse that I think of when I hear of sad moments. This is a great reminder and prompt for people like me, who can underestimate the power of sadness, comfort and compassion:
All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. -2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (New Living Translation)
STUFF TO THINK ABOUT:
How has sadness or heartache prompted you to refocus or prioritize your life? When’s the last time you let someone be there for you during a time of great sadness? How did their presence impact your life?
Thanks for checking out this week’s post! Did you see “Inside Out”? If so, I’d love to hear your thoughts. If you think this post might bless someone else, please hit the “share” button at the top of the post. God bless!
by Barb Roose | Jun 8, 2015 | Women's Topics
We all like to watch people.
Why? Because people are really interesting! This past weekend, my neighborhood hosted our annual Old West End Festival. Thousands of people descended upon our historical neighborhood to pursue garages sales, view parades or look at our grand historical homes (well, not mine. I live there, but mine isn’t quite in the same category as “grand”…more like old-fashioned lived-in.)
Here’s my favorite home in our neighborhood. It’s located a few streets over from my house. I don’t know anything about it other than I like to walk by it – and I’m thankful that I don’t have to clean it. (photo credit: Flickr)
As the visitors walk and gawk, residents like me spend the weekend just watching the crowd. It’s like the annual all-you-can-see people-watching buffet and I never had to leave my seat.
So, it is the people-watching experience of this weekend that inspires this post. There are lots of different kinds of people-watchers, but today, we’re talking about my two favorite types. First, the group of folks that I call “weird-watchers.”
Do what you gotta do…
Weird-watchers are folks that follow you with their eyes just a little bit too long and a way too intense. Truthfully, I may have accidentally weird-watched someone at least once or twice – like people who have tattoos with lots of words.
Moving on…
This week, a friend posted on Facebook that a weird-watcher was staring at her while she was sitting on the train in Chicago. She was a little freaked out by his persistent gaze, even though she was safely on the opposite side of a window. Like a good friend, I offered some handy Facebook advice to her – because on Facebook, we all LOVE to give advice. With weird-watchers, you’ve gotta fight fire with fire. My advice: “Stare back at him and pick your nose.” #nailedit
The “Body-Shoppers”
My favorite form of people-watching is body-shopping. I’m a body-shopper. That’s the kind of people-watcher that I am. Body-shopping is like shopping in a store, except there’s no store and the clothes are on moving bodies. One of my biggest pet-peeves in the store that the cellulite-free mannequins don’t realistically demonstrate how something could really fit. Yet, every woman is a real-life model and so I get to see how lots of different clothes look on a variety of sizes and shapes of bodies.
For me, body-shopping begins once I see a necklace or accessory that captures my attention. It’s often a necklace or another accessory to turns my head and makes me smile. This is important: body-shopping isn’t about looking for something to criticize. People-watchers are known for their biting criticism or rude, whispered comments. When I body shop, there’s no room for Judge Judy, rather it’s more like channeling Paula Abdul from her early days on American Idol. Remember how Paula could always find something positive to say about someone, no matter how bad they saying or looked.
Body-shopping Rule #1: Compliment, never criticize!
Yesterday, a lady walks by wearing this phenomenal long, white summer dress. It was a chilly morning, so she layered it with white, cropped jean jacket, summer flip-flops and gold jewelry. My favorite part, she finished her look with a big smile. I’m a guaranteed train wreck waiting-to-happen when I wear white. Yet, this lady looked so lovely that I started to wonder what I could look like if I had such a dress. Sure, I’d have to send the day in a bubble only drinking clear pop or water, but it might be worth it!
As the lady walked by, I simply said: “Wow, I love your dress. It looks great on you.”
One of the most important rules of body-shopping is to let the person know that you love how something looks on her. Just compliment just one thing, though. Don’t be like “Oh, I love your dress. Wow, you’re shoes are amazing. What gorgeous eyes you have! Those earrings are just EVERYTHING!”
Unless you’re talking to your best friend, don’t do that. Don’t compliment everything. That’s creepy.
Body-shopping Rule #2: Find out where and how long ago it was purchased
I don’t know where she was heading to, but after my compliment, the lovely lady’s smile grew wider and she stopped. This is one of the great rewards of body-shopping: You can make people smile. Everyone loves a compliment, especially a genuine, unsolicited compliment.
Lovely dress lady told me that the dress was purchased for one of her favorite stores, which turned out to be one of my favorite stores, too! Which brings me to one of the next most important features of body-shopping: you must ask how long ago they acquired the item. Lucky for me, she mentioned that the dress was purchased just a few weeks ago. I’ve got plans to stop by the store later this week and I’ve got a gift card!
Sometimes, my body-shopping inquiry will be an item purchased long ago or a treasured hand-me-down. I’ve heard great stories over the years about jewelry bequeathed from a relative, a garage sale treasure or a special gift from a loved one. Not only do I love hearing those great stories, but it brings people such joy sharing them with me.
Body shopping Rule #3: Be affirming
Yesterday, I engaged in a little more body-shopping. A long-time friend wore sparkly eyeshadow as an eyeliner across her top eye lid. She looked amazing! Usually, sparkly eyeshadow is a Friday night weekend thing, but she wore a light-colored sparkle shadow as a thin liner that made her bright eyes even brighter on a Sunday morning. It was a perfect match her personality and style. So, here we go: Rule #1: I told her that her eyes looked amazing. She smiled big. Then, Rule #2: I asked there she purchased it from and when. She mentioned a company that I have been watching on Twitter for a few months, so I made the mental decision to check it out.
But this happened, too:
Me: “When you applied that eye shadow this morning, weren’t you just giddy? You knew that it looked fantastic, right?”
Super cute friend: “Really? Does it look that good? Like, I knew that I looked nice this morning, but I wasn’t sure.”
Me: “You look spectacular. That shadow highlights the sparkle already in your eyes!”
(Then, I asked her out for a date. Ha! No, I didn’t. Calm down.)
What happened here? I shared a compliment about something that I hoped that she already believed for herself. This particular lovely is a highly successful business woman who is smart and stylish. Yet, even those who look the most confident still need encouragement and affirmation. We should never build Our identities on the words of others. But, we should affirm and encourage each other, especially other women.
It’s always about connection…
As much as we hate to admit this: Humans judge people based on what they see. God looks at the heart, but He designed us with eyes that pay attention to facial expressions, postures, features and clothing styles. That can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on what we do with is.
Here’s my thing: I people-watch with purpose. Body-shopping has opened the door to some pretty cool connecting moments over the years. I’ve made new friends, discovered mutual acquaintances and gotten some great inspiration for my own closet – all through just paying attention and using my voice to encourage another.
You can do this, too.
I CHALLENGE YOU: Try some body-shopping this week. Pay attention to the women around you and if you’re brave enough, engage in the body-shopping experience just once this week. If you’re an introvert, you can choose someone that you already know that feel comfortable with to start.
Thanks for stopping by and checking out this post! If you think that it will encourage another women, please click the share buttons at the bottom or top of this post. For weekly encouragement delivered right to your inbox, you can subscribe right on this page!
by Barb Roose | May 25, 2015 | Christian Living/Discipleship, Women's Topics
I like to keep it real.
Why? Because it’s a compete waste of time for me to pretend that I’m all put together. My house is somewhat messy these days. I’m doing pretty well when it comes to making dinner, but where’s something tragic happening in my backyard. The weeds are winning, friends…
For the most part, I’m just trying to get through each day. Like you, I have happy days, cranky days, bossy days and sometimes, just plain ‘ole you-totally-don’t-want-to-be-around-Barb days. Yesterday, I spent the afternoon wearing dirty white socks and a bad attitude.
Sometimes, I get overwhelmed. Do you? When my life is full, that’s when the tears often overflow. I’m totally not complaining, but I hope that someone can relate to seasons of life that seem to hold more experiences that my tender heart can handle.
At times, I feel like I’m holding my life together with pieces of Scotch tape. Ever worked with Scotch tape? That stuff is so good when you’re taping paper together. However, Scotch tape is a fail if you want to join two items with any weight. That’s why Scotch tape needs to stick with paper and leave the heavy lifting to something better suited. No matter how hard we try, there is a limit to what Scotch tape can do.
Sometimes, it feels like I’m trying to fix the big, important things in life with my human effort, which often resembles Scotch tape. I can do a lot of things. But, when I’m faced with some situation that I can’t fix, my first reaction is to get mad.
from bucks.blogs.nytimes.com
What is the thing in your life that you can’t control? How do you react in that disappointing moment? How does your behavior impact your relationships and your faith?
A few months ago, I was getting frustrated over a number of situations that were out of my control. This lack of control led to disappointment and anger because what I expected didn’t match the reality of was truly happening.
After I journaled about those disappointments, I put an asterisk by the situations/events that I could control or improve. Out of seven disappointments, I could only place two asterisks. Ouch.
So, I realized I had two choices:
#1 – I could be perpetually ticked off about the situations that were out of my control;
#2 – OR, I would discipline myself to accept reality (I have no control!) and create a response to my disappointment that was consistent with reality.
Here is a phrase that I have decided to repeat when disappointment descends into my life:
Here are somethings that I try to remember:
1. Even when life is tough, I know God loves me and will take care of me. (Proverbs 3:5-6, Romans 8:31, Philippians 4:6-7)
2. God has a plan and purpose for my life. He’s in control, even when I am not. (Jeremiah 29:11)
3. Difficult circumstances are often what God uses to help me become a better, more faithful person. (Romans 5:3-5)
I don’t know what you are up against today, but I do know that there are disappointments that frustrate and anger you. I also know that dealing with disappointment is often as difficult as dealing with the situation. So, I’m going to challenge you to say this phrase: “God is in control and He will take care of it” the next time you are faced with an uncontrollable situation.
While the situation might be difficult to get through, you’ll be able to endure the difficulty with confidence in God and His ability to take care of things in a way that you never could.
If you need to let God be in control of something in your life, let us know how we can pray for you in the comments below.
Thanks for stopping by! If you think that this post would bless a friend, feel free to share it!
by Barb Roose | May 18, 2015 | Women's Topics
Let me fast-forward to the punch line of my story: Two buttons in the middle my button-down shirt popped while I was talking to a best-selling author. And, I didn’t know it until after our conversation was over.
I was hosting a book-signing event for this esteemed best-selling author, so I wanted to look smart and stylish, without appearing that I was trying too hard. So, that morning I selected a lovely plum button-down shirt with a smart, stylish collar. It was a shirt that I’d worn, without incident, many times before.
During our initial meeting, I escorted the author and his tour manager into the auditorium so that we could review the event. I enthusiastically gestured with my arms and pointed out various features in our large auditorium. The author and his road manager were quite engaged during my presentation. To their credit, their eyes were on my face the entire time.
I was on-stage doing weekend announcements and everyone thought that I had a cigarette in my hair. It was a pen. (But, my co-workers are still not convinced – ha!)
After they exited the auditorium stage, I walked down the corridor into the main hallway. A co-worker who was assisting me with the event pointed to the center of my chest. I looked down and I could plainly see the front of my sparkling white, padded bra was showing prominently for all to see. Oh, the horror…
I may be an African-American woman, but I can guarantee you in that moment, my face was as red as the bottom of the pair of Christian Louboutin shoes. I wanted to go home and hid under my comforter and never show my face again. But I couldn’t. The show had to go on!
I quickly buttoned my shirt and plastered a smile on my face before going back to work. I was dying inside, but I faked confidence until my real confidence returned. As the event leader, my team was counting on me not to go sulking into a corner. The night was a success and the author appreciated all of our hard work. He never made a comment about my wardrobe malfunction and to this day, I appreciate his gracious professionalism in the face of my horribly embarrassing moment.
But, that wasn’t my last embarrassing moment. As part of our church’s weekend team and women’s conference speaker, I’ve had a few unexpected clothing disasters over the years. I’ve lived through belts that come unhooked, scarves that slide off and zippers that fall down. I’m not special. We’ve all been there.
While the term “wardrobe malfunction” was made popular after the Justin Timberlake/Janet Jackson Super Bowl scandal, we’ve all experience one clothing catastrophe or another. We’ve left the house in mismatched socks or a shirt worn inside out. Many of us have split our pants or popped a button on a shirt. These moments are never convenient and the most we can hope for is that we discover that open zipper or stop Aunt Flo’s early arrival before anyone and everyone notices.
So, what do you do when a clothing catastrophe strikes? How do you handle that wardrobe catastrophe with style and sophistication AND without creating additional embarrassment:
- Stay calm – If something has come loose or split apart, stay calm and still. Quick or jerky body movements will make matters worse. Take a deep breath and repeat this: “I will be okay.”
- Enlist a friend – It’s not a good idea to yell, “Oh, my goodness! I just ripped a hole in my pants!” to the entire office. But, you can get the attention of a friend or co-worker you trust to be an ally. This person can be your excuse-maker, clothing donor or human shield, depending on the situation. I suggest asking another woman, but a good guy with a handy suit coat will do in certain situations.
- Plan your exit – Think about how you can discreetly exit from the your current situation with the least amount of attention. You may think that all eyes are own you, but trust me, most are checking their Twitter or playing 2048. Walk quietly and directly to the nearest exit. Beg a friend to follow behind if your wardrobe catastrophe needs a shield.
- Don’t overshare – Once you’ve addressed your clothing drama, come back to the gathering or slide back into your cubicle. Only do this if you can slip back in without drawing attention to yourself or outfit. Here’s the big tip: Don’t overshare about what happened. Letting folks know you had a clothing issue or malfunction is 100% satisfactory without going into details that could be used for office gossip later.
- Let it go. It happened. It was embarrassing. It’s over. You survived. Move on. Smile.
And remember, one day it will happen again.
Q4U: Do you have a wardrobe malfunction story that you’d like to share? Trust me, the best way to overcome the embarrassment is to share it and laugh about it! Let us laugh with you!
Thanks for stopping by and checking out today’s post. If you think that this post could bless another woman, feel free to share it! If you’d like to receive weekend encouragement, CLICK HERE to sign-up for my mailing list. I’d love to stay in touch!
