by Barb Roose | Apr 24, 2015 | Christian Living/Discipleship, Women's Topics
Ladies, if you are at our 2015 Fabulous Conference, I hope that you are having a great time! It’s been a pleasure and honor to serve alongside my co-leader, Lauren Miller for the past five years. Thank you for being a part of something that I will remember for the rest of my life.
The following are contains the outline and some of the notes that accompany my afternoon talk called, “The Fabulous Life.” For those who want to listen and enjoy (without the pressure of taking notes), you can follow along on this page. If you didn’t attend the Fabulous Conference, I hope that these notes can be a blessing to you, no matter where you are at in life these days.
This was the opening speech at the beginning of my talk by President Theodore Roosevelt in 1910.
The first time that I heard this quote was from 2012 & 2013 Fabulous Conference special guest, Shauna Niequist. Her good friend, Dr. Brene Brown had written a book titled Daring Greatly, a book about authenticity, vulnerability and making the choice to live wholeheartedly, no matter the obstacles in our way.
There will always be a critic. You will always have critics.
Who are your critics? How are the critics stopping you from living life to it’s fullest?
You have a story.
You have passion.
You have hopes & dreams.
You have a God-Given purpose.
Speaking of God, he is the reason why the critics don’t count. And there are four reasons why:
First, God loves you more than you could ever know.
Second, there is more to God then what you understand.
Third, God has put more in you.
Lastly, God wants more for you.
You were made to live.
You were made to thrive
You were made to love.
YOU WERE MADE TO BE FABULOUS!
What would it look like to live the Fabulous life? This morning I talked about how we live joyfully, purposely, and generously.
1. A life that is FOCUSED
It doesn’t matter if you are single, married, single again. It doesn’t matter if you have kids or not, there are a lot of things that you think and care about on a daily basis. Generally, guys can think about a lot of things, but they usually think about them one at a time.
However, I believe that women have what I like to call a “one room heart.” This means that everything that we think and care about flow into each other without boundaries and sometimes all at once.
Living the fabulous and beautiful life, requires focus. What is focus: It’s when we live knowing what we are doing and why we are here.
Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. – Matthew 6:33
This verse calls us to start with God. When you think about what your plans are or you think about what your purposes, start with God.
“I try to avoid looking backward or forward and try to keep looking upward.”
Author, Charlotte Brontë
A life that is CONNECTED
Who are your “go-to” girls? – if you are going to show up and if you are going to go for “it”, you need cheerleaders who are wise and for you.
A life that is BROKEN & BEAUTIFUL
Kintsukuroi – I wanted to find a picture that described the beautiful life, the Fabulous life.
from Pinterest
Pottery comes in all shapes and sizes. Pottery comes with different purposes.
Yet every piece of pottery is formed from a single piece of clay that is shaped and formed and molded.
There is nothing like a beautiful piece of flawless pottery. When it is glazed and fired and the surface gleams brightly.
But, what happens to a piece of pottery when it breaks? When something breaks, our first impulse is to discard it. When something like pottery is broken, we don’t think that it has any additional usefulness.
In Japan, Kinsukuroi is a form of pottery that was created when individuals begin taking their broken pottery to an artisan in who would put the pieces back together using a special ingredient: gold
The name of the pottery means ‘beautiful for being broken.’
You look at the cracks and see what you did and God wants you to look at the cracks to see what he’s done.
God owns it. He owns the spaces where you think you’re broken.
There will never be a time when gold won’t be valuable.
-2 Corinthians 5:4
We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.
Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.
Remember…
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE GOD MADE YOU.
God bless you, friends!
by Barb Roose | Apr 13, 2015 | Scripture Devotional, Women's Topics
Friends, the pace of our lives is exhausting. Who’s exhausted?
Thanks to technology and innovation, our complex world has created more complexity for our lives. Since we can do more, we do more. My iPhone is the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me. It allows me to talk, text, email, shop, schedule, purchase, play, and watch every single minute of every single hour of each day – even when I shouldn’t be doing all of those things.
Then, there’s life. Life wears us down, right? Every 24 hours, we cycle through highs, lows, smiles and struggles. We can be celebrating in one minute and feeling like our life is over in the next. It’s exhausted just navigating the emotional and relational swings we must manage throughout the day. How in the world can we stack the deck in our favor so that we don’t break down under the pressure of life. In a word: REST.
When was the last time that you completely disconnected from your life and did absolutely nothing?
Folding laundry while watching television doesn’t count.
Worrying about how you are going to get your life done doesn’t count.
Neither does paying bills on your iPad in bed.
When was the last time you rested? Rest happens when we stop working at our jobs AND at home. Rest happens when we choose to disengage our minds from thinking about those tasks and life’s other pressures. Let me ask you again: When was the last time you rested?
I’m not good at resting. (My friends are laughing at me right now.)
I think some of you are bad at it, too. We don’t want to be bad at resting, but we are – for good reason, right? We are always taking care of someone or something. It doesn’t matter if you are single, married or single again, our feminine mindset drives us to constantly nurture or fix our environments. It doesn’t matter if you are motivating your sales staff, raising children, cleaning the house, listening to friends on the phone or growing our garden, most of us are ALWAYS doing something. Good things.
But, here’s a truth: At some point, we’ve got to press the “power down” button and voluntarily – even forcefully remove ourselves from the worship of Busyness. We must take time to sit our down and rest.
God Blesses Rest
I love that God blesses rest in Genesis 2:2-3:
“On the seventh day God had finished His work of creation, so He rested from all His work. And God blessed the seventh day and declared it holy, because it was the day when he rested from all His work of creation.”
Here is how God models rest for us:
1. God prioritized what He needed to do.
2. When God’s work was finished, He stopped and didn’t add anything else to it.
3. He didn’t let the pressures of future tasks get in the way of rest.
The Jewish word we use to describe the kind of rest God models for us is called a Sabbath. During Sabbath rest, we cease our labor. So, if you are employed, you’ll need to establish your Sabbath on your day off. If you work seven days a week, you need to rethink your job. Why would I make such a bold statement?
This is why: When we rest, we turn the care and custody of our lives into God’s hands for Him to protect and provide for us while we rejuvenate.
I understand that there may be certain periods of life when we work more than usual, but this should not be your constant rhythm of life. For the months that I was writing this book, I missed out on regular rest. When the book is over, reinstituting this discipline is my first task. (Even before catching up on my laundry!)
Friday is my day of rest. I love Fridays! I work about six days a week, except on Friday. Thursday nights are exciting for me because I know Friday’s up next. My toughest challenge is shutting down my brain from thinking about work. So, I read fiction books and eat grocery store sushi in bed. I take long walks and practice deep breathing. I sit and pray. Sometime, I just wander around my house in the quiet.
No matter the stress and pressure of my life, by the end of each Sabbath rest, my soul is refreshed and I feel alive again. I’m much more equipped to handle those pressures and bear up under those stresses after choosing to rest. Life happens, so we must rest in order to deal with life. I want you to be able to deal with life from a place of strength, rather than a place of just-barely-hanging-in-there. The choice is up to you.
When will YOU take the time to rest?
Practical Tips:
1. When you choose your day of rest, keep it as consistent as possible. Be vigilant until this becomes a part of your regular rhythm of life.
2. Do not schedule anything on that day! It’s not rest if you’ve got a schedule to follow. Just be.
3. What about mothers with children or women caring for elderly loved ones? God still wants you to experience rest! This means that you might need to get creative with solutions such as trading babysitting or even paying for respite care. Trust me, any expense or effort you put into arranging for your Sabbath rest will have an incredible ROI (return on investment)!
QUESTIONS FOR YOU? If you had a free day with nothing to do, how would you rest? Would it be easy or difficult for you to wind down and just “be”? How would you know that you actually rested?
by Barb Roose | Mar 28, 2015 | Scripture Devotional, Women's Topics
When was the last time you were naked and felt no shame?
Take a deep breath. We’re not going to talk about being physically naked, or ‘nekkid’ as many like to say. Today, we’re going to delve into what it means to step up and live with authenticity and vulnerability – being real and inviting people to get real with us. That’s what we can refer to as “emotional nakedness.”
Ummm, Barb. Uh, I’m not comfortable talking about this…
I know that you don’t want to talk about this, but stay with me. You NEED to lean into this one. Why? Because I know that there are places in your life where you want MORE than how you are living now! You want to live with purpose. But, you can’t live purpose if you only skim the top of what it means to be real with the people around you that you love and care about.
Living authentically occurs when our actions, beliefs and character are the same, no matter if we’re overheard talking with our kids at the store or we’re hanging out in the lobby at church. Authenticity is best described by the phrase “keepin’ it real.” Like on Saturday, I had to do eight loads of laundry and clean my house. It was a wreck. #keepitSERIOUSLYreal
Vulnerability is much scarier than authenticity. When you’re authentic, you don’t have to care about what people think, you’re just putting you out there. In my opinion, vulnerability is the highest form of emotional and spiritual nakedness.
Storyteller and researcher, Dr. Brene Brown, has elevated the discussion about the power of vulnerability. Here’s how she describes vulnerability: “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”
Vulnerability seems a little like living at a nudist colony (not that I’ve ever been to one…) You are completely exposed to those around you and they can give you feedback on what they think and see. Yet, under the right conditions, vulnerability is powerful. When we allow people that we love and trust to speak truth into our lives, we learn to see past the blind spots that are holding us back or taking us down. Vulnerability gives us the precious knowledge that we are loved as we are and most importantly, for who we are.
God loves you as you are. But, He loves you too much to leave you as you are. He’s got great plans for you!
As you read that, you may have many reasons why God shouldn’t love you for what you’ve done or how you screamed at your kid today – but He loves you. As the old saying goes: “There’s nothing you can do to make God love you more. There’s nothing you can do to make God love you less.” It’s a shame that some of us are plagued by secret whispers that we don’t deserve or shouldn’t expect God’s best for us. That’s the voice of shame.
When we feel shame, it is a self-imposed shackle that we must break free from as soon as possible. Shame clouds our ability to see what God wants to do in us and through us.
Here’s a few questions for you to consider today. You are welcome to share your answers in the comments below or find a trust Christian friend or counselor to discuss:
- Where are the places where I feel ashamed, or unworthy of love or acceptance?
- How willing am I to let people get to know the real me? Where do I start shutting people out? Do I know why?
- What would it mean for my life if I could live “naked and unashamed?”
Only one more day left in our Beautiful Devotional! Thank you for joining me this week! I’d love to stay connected with you on a regular basis, so make sure to find me on Twitter (@barbroose) or join the community over at Facebook.com/shapestylesoul.
by Barb Roose | Mar 27, 2015 | Scripture Devotional, Women's Topics
Have you ever run into a woman who was bad tempered, rude, or argumentative?
While I don’t watch many reality television shows lately, I see lots of previews or recaps. The shows all seem to have a few things in common: wealthy, physically-attractive women who scream, fight, scheme, claw, cuss, cheat or threaten each other.
These women spend thousands of dollars on hair, make-up, cosmetic surgery and personal trainers to look as beautiful or desirable as possible, yet their on-screen behavior is downright UGLY.
I don’t get it. But, the writer in Ecclesiastes says: There is nothing new under the sun.
In the New Testament, one of the scriptural authors addresses a community of married women who were new to following Christ. These women were wealthy and heavily influenced by their sophisticated, educated culture. They competed against each other for the best hair, make-up, and jewelry using strategies that probably wouldn’t be completely unfamiliar in our modern times. Like many of us, these women wanted to be admired and desired by all who saw them. If there was a reality television show during that time, these ancient women would have been all up in our television screens.
Yet, the scriptural author, Peter, calls the women to aspire to more than competition over hair, clothes or reputation. Check out the verse in the box from 1 Peter 3:4.
Peter, isn’t being harsh when he speaks to the women. He wasn’t bashing beauty enhancements, rather, he contrasts what a woman does with her outer appearance against what God accomplishes by His divine work within us.
There are two descriptives that Peter calls women who aspire toward: gentleness and quietness. These two words used to discourage me on a regular basis.
Friends, there is nothing conventionally gentle or quiet about me. I’m 5’10” with big feet and a loud voice. Everything about me looks like it is moving at 100mph. So, I felt like a failure every time someone shared Peter’s teachings on these two qualities of inner beauty.
Why can’t I be like the nice ladies with the polite smiles dressed in pearls and matching sweater sets. I can get frustrated and loud, yet those women never seemed to get kerfluffled? What’s wrong with ME?!!!
Years ago, I discovered God’s prescription for inner beauty was a mixture of qualities that would complement even my energetic, demonstrative nature. Here are the qualities of a gentleness and quietness:
Gentleness: Maintaining a gracious attitude, friendly behavior and humble character.
Quietness: Choosing to possess tranquility, respectfulness and submissiveness as opposed to worry or rebelliousness.
First, how do we cultivate gentleness? Where do we start? One of the first steps would be self-awareness. I don’t know about you, but sometimes, I don’t know how I look or sound to others. So, practice your conversations in front of the mirror. Pretend like you are talking to your family or friends and look at your facial expressions. Does your face look friendly and kind or put-upon and bothered? After self-awareness comes another tip: Just be nice to people. (Yep, I’m working on that, too…)
Now, quietness might be freaking some of you out right now. You saw the words “respect” and “submit” and you’re concerned that I’m going to try to sell you a page from “The Caveman Times.” I can see you rolling your eyes and saying:
“I’m a modern woman, Barb. Don’t you try to tell me that I should let someone rule over me.”
Ladies, respect and submission have nothing to do with coercion or weakness. In fact, they are wholly the opposite. Both are a 100% free act of the will. You can choose or not choose. Before you choose, answer this: What is the opposite of quietness? If the idea of not having the final say-so (control/manipulation) is so horrible for you, then what’s your other choice? Answer: It’s a life of constant worry and strife.
Some of you know what I’m talking about right now.
When you constantly fight for control or assert your right to be right in front of your spouse, kids, friends or co-workers, chances are that your life is filled with frustration, worry or strife. Might I ask with complete humility: How’s that working for you?
When life isn’t going our way, our first inclination is to rise up and fight for control. And the fighting and the resistance makes us miserable – and our reactions probably look pretty ugly. Yet, God has chosen women to be the standard-bearers of His beauty in our cold, harsh world. What kind of light for Christ could we be if we practiced the beauty of gentleness and humility?
Q4U: Which one – gentleness or quietness – feels like more of a challenge for you? Leave a comment below!
Thanks for stopping by! We’ve got just a few days left in the Beautiful Devotional and I hope that you’ve been blessed. I’d love to hear how God has used this devotional in your life. Feel free to leave a comment below! If this post has blessed you today, please share it with others!
by Barb Roose | Feb 8, 2015 | Christian Living/Discipleship
By Tina Bryant
photo credit: Pinterest
Once upon a time there was a man named Jesus. Jesus is a young handsome prince who saved me from many bad, unhealthy relationships. Seven years later he still romances me. We lived happily ever after. The End….
I wish it was that easy.
Seven years ago, I got out of a really bad relationship. It was filled with lies and threats of violence. He told me that “no one would ever want me.” And, I believed him.
After that bad relationship ended, I decided to go back to church.
I wasn’t committed and only showed up on and off. One day, I received a book from a co-worker called Choosing God’s Best by Dr. Don Raunikar. I put it into the dresser drawer thinking: “Why would I want to be God’s choice after all of the things I have done?”
A few weeks later I saw the book again and decided to read it. I couldn’t put it down! My eyes opened to a whole new level of relationships and a style of dating new to me called courting. You see, I always was the pursuer because I was tired of waiting. I always wanted to land the man NOW! Yet, courting means that the man who pursues the woman that he wants to married. Not the other way around. That was revolutionary for me! And since my way of doing things ended badly, I decided to wait to be pursued.
I became more active at the Creek and during that time, I also started to hang out with an old friend. Our friendship grew and I thought “he must be it”. We did everything according to what the Bible told us. But God whispered to me, “It’s not him, I have someone else for you.”
I didn’t agree.
“God, he is EVERYTHING I have always wanted…”
Luckily, God is so patient with me.
“My child, be patient. You have so much to learn.”
I was frustrated. Looking back, I sounded like a 2-year throwing a tantrum because I didn’t get my chocolate chip cookie.
God reminded me of Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
An avid photographer, Tina loves spending time behind her camera. The top two photos are from her Facebook page. Here is Tina on her cruise in 2013. Of course, she just got back from a cruise last week, too.
Last year, I felt God was preparing me for my future husband…
But, before I could have a healthy relationship with my future husband, I need to have a healthy relationship with God. I needed to de-clutter up my schedule so I can spend time with God and sometime praying for my future husband. God reminded that I don’t need to be “busy” all the time just because there is no one at home waiting for me.
As humans, we long for touches, smells, words to confirm that someone loves us. My “love language” is gifts. I don’t expect gifts, but I see how God uses people to show me his love to me. Gifts like a random picture from my nephews or a flower from a friend touch me as well as a random text or a beautiful sunrise. Each of these precious gifts are from God and a reminder that He loves me.
Every so often, my 7-year old nephew asks why I’m not married yet…
He wants to know when he gets to be in my wedding. I love his innocence in these conversations! I always tell him, “When God is done with my future husband.” I love that my nephew wants me to meet and marry, too!
Just the other day, he asked me out of the blue, “Aunt Tina, when is a God done with your husband?” After hearing this, I sensed God saying to me, “That it’s not him I am waiting for, it’s you.” I knew there were some other things that God wanted to work on in my life.
God brought my ex back into my life a few months ago.
I asked God why he would do that after seven years.
“You haven’t forgiven him nor have you forgiven yourself.”
WOW! That is so true! I had been holding on all that resentment all these years. I resented the person I was then and I was ashamed of my weakness back then. Yet, over the past 7 years, God has taught me so much. I’ve learned that I need God in my life and that I need to trust in Him no matter what.
Not everyone is made to be married, and I am okay with that if that is God’s will.
Today, when someone asks me why I am not married, I can say with confidence that God has me on a mission right now during my singleness and when He is ready for me and my future husband to be together we can continue our mission that He wants us to carry through our marriage!
My prayer for you is to trust in God. He knows our hearts’ desire and He knows what’s best for us. Turn your life, your heart and your future marriage over to Him.
Photo credit: Versifylife.com
Tina Bryant is a Central Support Specialist at CedarCreek Church in Perrysburg, Ohio. She works in the Spiritual Formation department and is the multi-campus coordinator of Celebrate Recovery, a Christ-Centered step program that meets on Friday nights at 7pm at all CedarCreek Campuses. You can find out more information about Celebrate Recovery at cedarcreek.tv/celebraterecovery.
