by Barb Roose | Jan 5, 2019 | Reflections, Scripture Devotional, Women's Topics
Three Ways to Keep Your Heart and Life Turned Toward God
Happy New Year friends! Are you ready for the start of a new year? Let’s talk about what it means for us to have our BEST YEAR EVER!
Who doesn’t dream that this year can be better than last year? No matter our starting point, at the beginning of each year, we dream of whatever is missing to be found, whatever is broken to be fixed, and whatever has changed to feel like normal again. The difficulty is figuring out what we need to do in order to make that happen for us.
Cue the New Year’s Resolution. Some are quick to hate on the idea of a New Year’s Resolution for a variety of reasons. But, all a New Year’s Resolution means is that someone wants to make something in her life better. A resolution isn’t a promise, nor is it a quick fix. In many ways, it’s a step away from denial toward a healthy truth that some part of life could or should be better than it is.
One of the most popular New Year’s Resolutions that I heard while working on staff at my local church was “I want to get closer to God.” That’s a great New Year’s Resolution!
Not only do I want to cheer you on, but I’d also like to offer a few ideas if you want to make this the best year ever when it comes to your faith.
1. Stop feeling guilty!
Don’t let guilt be the biggest reason that you want to grow closer to God. Sure, you might have missed more church than planned or scrolled through Facebook more than your Bible. But here’s the thing: Guilt might get you going, but it isn’t enough to get you to the goal.
When we feel guilty about not connecting with God, that’s when we imagine that God is disappointed with us. Then we start trying to do things that we think will please God. But, when we falter, like miss church or forget to read our Bible then those guilty feelings come roaring back! Then, we might start easing our way as far away from God as possible. THAT IS the recipe for the worst year ever, not the best year ever.
The path to the best year ever with God is to start with GRATITUDE. Each day, I take time and write down all of the big and little things that God has done for me. This means that I give thanks for the electric blanket that keeps me warm. I give thanks for the friend who met me for coffee and offered compassion, not judgment. I give thanks for God’s presence and provision as I navigate a heartbreaking relational trauma.
The more that we give thanks to God for what He has done and how He takes care of us, the closer we will feel to God.
2. Get Life-Giving Friends
If you want to have your best year ever, you won’t be able to do it on your own. You will need to have life-giving, like-minded people who love Jesus cheering you on and challenging you toward your best year ever.
What does it mean to have life-giving Christians around you?
- They love Jesus and actually love ALL others (Mark 12:30).
- They don’t cut other people down for struggling with personal problems (Galatians 6:1-2) .
- They are generous in giving their time and resources to others (1 Timothy 6:18).
- They live with hope (instead of negativity) (1 Peter 3:15).
The most important lesson is that we have to make room for these people in our lives. If you have too many negative people, even if they say that they are Christians, you will NEVER have your best year ever. The negative people won’t let you!
How do you get away from negative, selfish people who suck the life out of you? You go out and fill your available time with life-giving people. You ask them out for coffee, make dinner plans, and join their Bible studies. The more your schedule is filled with life-giving people, the easier it will be for you to ease the life-sucking people out of your life.
3. Pick a focus verse
Life is a roller coaster, isn’t it? So, when my emotions are riding high or I’m feeling low, I need a way to steady my heart and mind so that I can make wise decisions that will honor my relationships and keep my heart and mind looking toward God.
For me, choosing a few verses to repeat over and over to myself is an important tool to stay strong and stable while my life still on a wild, difficult ride toward an unknown future. At the time I’m writing these words to you, I have no idea what my living situation or marital status will be in six months. But I know this, if I can hang onto God’s promises, then I can hang in through anything.
Hanging onto God’s promises means that I tuck God’s Word into my heart and mind so that I can hear Him later when He’s trying to speak to me. God uses His words to speak to us, so if you don’t feel like you’re hearing from God enough, perhaps it’s because you need to know more of what He’s saying.
This year, one of these verses that I am focused on is Psalm 46:10:
Be still and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world.
Since this is a focus verse for me, I repeat it over and over again so that when I am in a situation where I’m anxious about the future or I want to control an outcome, then God will use His words to speak to me and calm me down.
You can Google “popular Bible verses” and find one that fits your life. You can post on Facebook and ask people to share their favorite Bible verses if you feel too overwhelmed to find your own.
It doesn’t matter if you choose the same verse as someone else. God will speak that verse back to you in a way that is personal and perfectly customized to whatever you are going through. Each time you sense God bring that verse back up, you’ll feel loved, cared for and reminded about how much you matter to Him.
And that is how you know that you’re living your best year ever!
I’D LIKE TO HEAR FROM YOU! Which one of the three “best year ever” tips interests you the most? Do you have any other ideas to share?
Do you want to grow in your faith or get your questions answered about God? Drop in your email address below and I'll send you a weekly email with encouragement, Christ-centered teaching and practical next steps.
by Barb Roose | Jun 19, 2017 | Scripture Devotional, Women's Topics
It was 6:00am on Sunday morning when my cell phone rang.
I’m not usually up that early on a Sunday, but I had to get to church early that day to prepare for that morning’s activities, so I awoke thirty minutes earlier than usual. I snatched up my phone to view the caller ID. It was one of my closest girlfriends. I answered, “Hello.”
Sobs. All I could hear were soft, steady sobs.
I took a deep break and simply said, “I’m here.”
We sat in silence for several moments. As one who has sobbed on the other end, there’s nothing more soothing than knowing that the other person is willing to sit and wait, unrushed until words are ready to come.
After a few moments, she began to talk. Out pours a story of late night events that overflowed into the early morning hours – her painful recollections broke and joined my heart to hers simultaneously.
In that moment she just needed me to be her friend and present in her pain. We prayed that morning and for many days after that. As sad as that event was, I was grateful that she had invited me to share that difficult space with her life.
When life falls apart, we need a special group of friends to hold us up when our lives are falling down around us.
Do you remember the story of Moses’ arms tiring while he held them up as the Israelite army battled their enemies? As long as Moses’ arms remained in the air the Israelites had the advantage. Yet, Moses’ arms began to sag to the ground the army faltered.
Thankfully, Aaron and Hur showed up to hold up Moses’ arms and the army was victorious.
What would have happened if Moses refused Aaron and Hur’s help?
“Oh, no guys. You don’t have to help. I’ll be fine in just a minute. You guys are so busy, you don’t have to stop and help me.”
“Thank you for offering to help! But, I’m sure that there is someone out there who needs help more than me.”
Sisters, there are times when we need to put out the 911 call for help. Stop pretending that your life is fine when it’s not. Is it time to dial the digits and say, “I’m drowning here”?
I know that we all hate making that phone call. I do, too. In fact, I’ve really had to work hard to overcome my pride and fear. I hate being needy. But, I’ve learned that if I can get through tough times easier if I reach out to my special group of friends BEFORE I start to fall down.
I call this special group of friends “go-to girls,” This is a group of two to four women that you can call when your life flips upside down and burns to the ground.
My go-to girls held my hand when I went through a bout of depression many years ago. My go-to girls were there when my husband and I hit a hard wall or I’ve had crisis moments with my kids. My tears have soaked my go-to girls’ shoulders and my texts have filled their screens. I know that their lives are busy but yet they make time for me. And I thank God for them each and every day.
Do you have some go-to girls in your life? Tell us about how your friends have stood by you by leaving a comment below.
If you are struggling with finding significant friendships with other women, check out the “Just like eyebrows, two are better than one” chapter in my Enough Already book – on sale now here on my website until June 20! I’d love to sign it for you 🙂
by Barb Roose | Dec 29, 2016 | Scripture Devotional, Women's Topics
Has holiday overeating left you feeling horrible? Here’s five positive ways to wrap up your holiday.
By Barb Roose
Anyone feeling guilty over the Mt. Everest-size mountain of food that they’ve consumed over the last couple of weeks?
Are you disappointed that your best intentions for self-control fell apart 88 cookies, 23 pieces of pie, a bazillion wings and 10 glasses of eggnog ago?
Maybe you’re wearing a Charlie Brown-sad face. Maybe not. A few days ago, I asked myself where I was at because frankly, I was feeling a little out of control. Which one describes where you’re at right now:
- Can’t. Stop. Eating.
- Doing okay.
- I’ve had fun, but I’m back on track.
- I can’t answer this question right now.
- Holidays don’t change my habits.
Honestly, I started out on track this holiday season. Yet, a single crockpot of rich, creamy, tangy buffalo chicken dip derailed all of my good intentions.
I attended a Christmas cookie exchange a week ago. When I entered the beautifully decorated home, I smelled the air and saw a crockpot on the counter. My heart fluttered with hope. My mind snapped to alert because I knew that a temptation that lurked within. Could I resist?
I grabbed a plate and made my plan. I scanned the counter. A giant bowl of Asian salad caught my eye. That’s it! Salad would be my salvation. Why do we women believe that salad will save us?
Let’s be honest: A salad is like wearing shorts during a snowstorm. Technically, you’re wearing something, but you really want to wear something that actually gets the job done. That salad wasn’t going to save me from buffalo chicken dip because I REALLY wanted buffalo chicken dip.
Still, I heaped my plate full of Asian kale salad hoping that my healthy food choice could change my heart’s desire.
Not a chance.
As I neared the crockpot of my downfall, my fork magically pushed back the hopeful avalanche of vegetables to create room for what I really wanted.
But wait. I paused to create a failsafe (kinda). I asked a woman that I’d just met that night to be the light of accountability for me: “Honey, I LOVE buffalo chicken dip. Can you make sure that I only have one serving?”
She agreed, but with a knowing smile on her face. We both knew that I wasn’t going to have just one serving, but I still gave myself an A for effort.
When I removed the lid, the rich, tangy smell hypnotized me with its heady scent. I scooped a not-too-big, yet not-too-small dollop of dip on my plate and quickly surrounded it with the wall of sturdy nacho chips.
Friends, I sat down, placed my napkin across my lap and proceeded to ravage that dip like a starving man who found water in the desert.
To be fair, that kale salad was amazing, too! But once I finished the salad, I immediately started thinking about how to justify getting another serving of Buffalo chicken dip. In fact, my life would no longer be complete unless I had another serving of that rich and creamy dip.
My name is Barb, and I am obsessed with buffalo chicken dip.
Filled with glee, I pranced back to that crockpot ‘o delicious wonder and loaded up again. However, the sweet ending fell flat. That second helping was too much and my tummy started to rumble. It sounded like, “You idiot! What have you done to me?” Remorse and guilt settled atop the once desired, now demonized substance. All I felt was the weight of rich and creamy regret.
What now?
For many of us, our relationship with food turns the most wonderful time of the year into the most horrible time of the year as we near the new year. The holiday food preparation and celebrations that brought us joy before Thanksgiving are occasions tinged with regret. How many of us feel anxious or regret over our lack of control. How many of us are tempted to shout, “I give up! I’m just gonna keep eating all.the.food because I’ve blown it already.”
I wrote this post, because I know how you feel. Just because I write to encourage women to see themselves as God sees them, doesn’t mean that I don’t have to fight off the feelings of overwhelmed and out of control.
There’s one thing that I want to say to you: Beating yourself up won’t change a thing.
Beating yourself up doesn’t burn calories.
Beating yourself up won’t change your behavior.
Beating yourself up will make you feel bad enough about yourself and drive you to consume much more.
5 positive ways to wrap up your holiday
We’ve got just a few days left in the holiday season, and I want to share with you five tips to help you move away from beating yourself up to blessing yourself with kindness. Treating ourselves with kindness is the only path away from shame and guilt.
- Stop your stinkin’ thinking!
When you hate yourself for your behavior, you undermine your ability to see what God wants to do in you. Here’s something else: Shaming yourself with self-hating talk won’t help you make lasting changes.
Here’s a tidbit from my Enough Already book: “Stop blaming yourself for what you’ve allowed to happen. Whether because of gaining weight, letting your appearance fall apart or allowing yourself to become bitter, shame isn’t going to dig you out of the hole.”
Sweet sisters, self-hatred obscures the revelation of God’s love in our lives. When we see ourselves as God sees us, we’ll treat ourselves like women who are loved and valued.
ACTION STEP: If you’ve gotten in the habit of talking badly to yourself, try saying this each time you look in the mirror for the next seven days: “I am God’s beautiful, unique daughter.”
2. Get real about the real you.
Comparison is killing us, sisters! We’re so busy criticizing ourselves for not being like someone else that we’ve forgotten how to celebrate who God created us to be. Stop comparing yourself to other women, their diets or exercise habits. Comparison is a killer of self-esteem, motivation and joy.
ACTION STEP: Make a list of 10 things about yourself. Celebrate what you do well and where you aren’t perfect. God loves the real you. It’s time for you to love yourself like He loves you.
- Pick ONE thing.
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. So, instead of tackling weight loss, new eating habits and a new workout all at once, just pick ONE thing to do for the next 30 days. You’ll feel better about yourself for doing one thing than the avalanche of failure when you blow it trying to do too many things.
If you need a few ideas for your one thing, consider choosing ONE from this list:
-Eating some fresh fruit and fresh/steamed vegetables each day
-Drinking 8 glasses of water per day.
-Eliminate one unhealthy food
-Taking 10,000 steps per day or working out
(By the way, this list is actually from my own personal experience. On days when I’m overwhelmed or feeling blah, I simply choose to focus on doing one thing that day. Today, my energy was low so I focused on 10,000 steps.)
- Phone a friend
Don’t your friends get mad at you when you beat yourself up? Yes! So, let them hold you accountable to stop stinkin’ thinking or hold you accountable for the one healthy behavior that you choose. Give her permission to text you so that you can let her know how you are doing.
ACTION STEP: Choose a friend to help you stay on track. It’s best to find a friend who also wants to be held accountable. Make a pact to text each other for 30 days and then re-evaluate if you want to continue.
- Make imperfect progress
This phrase “imperfect progress” is taken from best-selling author Lysa TerKeurst’s book, Unglued. This brilliant phrase captures how we can continue to move forward while recognizing that we may stumble or even fall on occasion.
No one’s perfect! Friends, it’s time that we stop using perfection as the standard for our dietary or weight loss lives. I’ll never eat perfectly. I’ll never workout perfectly. Neither will you.
But, we CAN make imperfect progress. We can hold yourself accountable to the goals that we set. We can follow the conviction that God has given us about our health and lifestyle. That doesn’t mean that we’ll be perfect, but it does mean that we’ll be committed to “imperfect progress” and always moving forward.
TELL US ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCE: Do you struggle with holiday eating? Which one of these five tips encourages you the most today?
by Barb Roose | Jun 13, 2016 | Christian Living/Discipleship, Scripture Devotional, Women's Topics
This post is for my Jesus-loving Christian friends out there.
As we mourn the horrific national tragedy in Orlando, I’m holding my breath.
Why?
#BecauseChristians
Y’all know what I mean. And y’all know who I mean.
It’s already painful enough to look at the faces of the victims and watch the anguished grief across their family members’ faces.
It’s already hard enough to watch politicians turn this tragedy into an election-season ping-pong match.
It’s already scary enough listening to pundits discuss whether or not we need to re-evaluate an our constitutional right to privacy.
Now, I’m holding my breath as Christians take to social media. And I’m praying, too. I’m praying that God will allow the Facebook accounts of stupid, hateful Christians to get hacked and shutdown. Yes, I mean that.
I hate that certain groups of Christians will show up in the public arena saying that they are there in Jesus’ name. Then, they will proceed to spew hate and try to pass it off as Jesus’ truth.
(I know that somebody out there right now wants to see my “salvation card.” Don’t worry. I’ve got it, honey.)
I get you, Holier-Than-Thou, Christian. I know how much you want to speak the “truth in love.”
I’m totally down with speaking the truth in love. But why do we treat truth like a giant sledgehammer and then dispense love like the size of a tiny bandaid?
Here’s what someone from the LGBT community wrote on social media:
“People got hurt. This isn’t the time to condemn them for sin YOU think they’re doing.”
News Flash: LGBT people already know our script. And they aren’t deaf, so they’ve heard us out there beating them with truth in love:
We’ve yelled it at them.
We’ve screamed it at them.
We’ve used it to kick them out of our families.
We’ve written it on our signs and picketed them.
Is it no wonder that this community is eager to shut the door in our faces? We’ve given them no reason to keep it open.
As I was praying this morning for the people who died and their families, God prompted me to stop praying and go read 1 Corinthians 13. Since it came to me out of the blue during prayer, I stopped opened my YouVersion app. I saw Paul’s words through the context of the Orlando tragedy.
If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing.
3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing. (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)
As believers, God has endowed us with the revelation of who He is through His Spirit. Not only that, but we’ve been given super-naturally charged spiritual gifts to do great things in Jesus’ name. And we’ve been given the Great Commission to bring the eternity-changing message of Christ to all people.
Yet, Paul points out there just ONE ingredient in our super-natural secret sauce that determines whether or not we will be effective or ineffective.
LOVE.
Notice how often he repeats the qualifier “…but didn’t love others.” That phrase identifies the great eraser of all of the things that we set out to do in Jesus’ name.
Now, let’s not get coy with the word “love.” Don’t get twisted. God defines “love” for us in the next few verses:
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
This is the definition of love. This is hard love, y’all. This is the kind of love that I fail at often with my husband and kids. This is the kind of love that I struggle to show the people that I already know and like.
You know what else occurred to me while reading these verses: These verses also capture HOW we must bring “Tell the Truth in Love. “
Our famous “truth in love” phrase comes from Ephesians 4:15:
“Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies that sound so cleaver they sound like the truth. Instead we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.”
Paul was talking to believers who needed to be wary of false prophets with in the church. “Truth in Love” is a fruit of our discipleship that shows our growing maturity in Christ.
Okay, let’s start putting this together:
First – oh, this is fun: The Greek word “truth” in Ephesians 4:15 and the word “truth” Jesus uses to describe himself in John 14:6 are from the same root word “alethes.”
Now, let’s think about this:
Who is the Truth? Jesus ((John 14:6)
Why did Jesus come? Because God so LOVED the world (John 3:16).
Jesus IS Truth IN Love.
Our opinions are not ‘truth in love.’
Our passionate pleas are not ‘truth in love.’
Our best intentions are most definitely not ‘truth in love.’
Jesus IS TRUTH IN LOVE.
And if we realize that Jesus IS Truth In Love, then we don’t have to worry about love watering down the truth. Love opens the door so that truth can come into dark and desperate places where both are needed.
Jesus came to sacrifice himself for us. He gave up his eternal home in heaven while we were still dirty, perverted, stinky, sin-ridden people (Romans 5:8).
And it was his love for us and obedience to God that took him to the cross. And by Jesus’ sacrifice we are healed and made whole (Isaiah 53:5)
So, out of love, God met our greatest spiritual need: eternal salvation. But, have we gotten so used to being clean and whole that we’ve forgotten who we once were in God’s eyes?
Yes. The answer is YES, doggone it!
We’ve forgotten that we are being saved everyday through sanctification – a fancy word for God’s continual work in us (Galatians 2:20, 2 Peter 3:18). Let’s not forget that God knows the crap that we’ve still got floating in our hearts, minds and lives, friends. Yet, as we grow in maturity, our ability to speak the Truth In Love, to show Jesus in our hearts, minds and lives grows every day, too.
And that becomes evident in our speech, our interactions and our ability to connect with people of all races, ages, cultures and yes, sexual identities.
But, Barb “they” don’t listen to us.
So, that’s where verse 7 comes in: Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Unfortunately, the LGBTQ community isn’t going to be open to us for a long time. Why?
Because they don’t trust us. They don’t like us. They are afraid of us. Many hate us. And we’ve earned every single bit of it. So, we will keep bringing the Truth In Love for as long as it takes. We’ve caused a lot of pain and we’ve broken a lot of trust.
Remember, once upon a time, we treated God the same way. He didn’t give up on us. I don’t know about you, but I’m so thankful that God didn’t abandon me when I refused Him.
His condemnation didn’t bring me to the cross. It was His love that drew me to the cross. (Romans 2:4)
Friend, I know that you are uncomfortable. The “what-if’s” are closing in:
What if other Christians judge me for having someone from the LGBTQ community over to dinner? Will my friends wonder if I’m still a committed Christian?
If I’m hanging out with someone who believes differently from me, am I slack on my faith if I don’t do a full gospel presentation and altar call before dessert?
How can I know if my friends are truly committed to Christ if I see them hanging out with Muslim people or LGBTQ people?
So here are three words to remember: Live like Jesus.
Check this out:
Later, Levi invited Jesus and his disciples to his home as dinner guests, along with many tax collectors and other disreputable sinners. (There were many people of this kind among Jesus’ followers.) -Mark 2:15
So, all of the things that we’re worried about, Jesus did them. And he wasn’t worried about what other people thought. Also, notice how MANY people that we avoid were attracted to Jesus. Hmmm…
Jesus came to our sorry, pitiful, fallen world and he became Truth In Love for us.
For me.
For you.
For the people that we’re afraid of.
For the people that make us uncomfortable.
For the people who live differently that us.
Jesus didn’t shy away from people who needed love, not condemnation. He never shied away rom the truth.
But he always won people with love.
Thanks for reading,
by Barb Roose | May 2, 2016 | Christian Living/Discipleship, Scripture Devotional, Women's Topics
Last week, someone posted a message to me on Facebook. I think that it was a misunderstanding, but when I read the message, I went “WHOA! What’s THIS?!” My eyes got real big and I re-read the message from a fellow believer. Someone who loved Jesus just like I do. However, the words I read felt like a slap across my face. And I got mad!
My first thought was: Oh-no-you-did-n’t!
Fast as lightening, I started typing back. My fingers flew over my keyboard as I clicked out a polite, yet sharp rebuttal. My heart felt like she did me wrong and I wanted to show her who was right!
The more I typed, the more I got more riled up. As I paused to read my brilliant response, I felt my spirit stir. I believe that it was the Holy Spirit that whispered, Stop. Delete.
Umm, I’ve got some good stuff here.
Delete.
I sighed and clicked delete. I sat and stewed in my hurt. Then, I tried to come up with another way around the Spirit’s leading. No dice. So, I bravely engaged in a little rumble with myself. If you’ve read Brene Brown’s Rising Strong, she talks about having the courage to “rumble” with difficult emotions. My rumble revealed that my pride was hurt. Simple as that. I was offended and I wanted to strike back.
The old saying remains the same: Two wrongs don’t make a right. If I would have sent that note, I wouldn’t have sent it the note in love. I would have sent it to prove that I was right.
(And if I proved that I was right, maybe my feelings wouldn’t be so hurt.)
Striking back just strikes another match by the gas can. How many relationships have we blown up over hurt feelings or hurt pride?
So, I had to sit there in my discomfort and let the bad feelings pass. Man, that was hard. Later, I sent a different response, thanking the individual for the comment and suggestion. It was hard, but God is ALWAYS teaching me humility!
The greatest commodity that we have is LOVE. It’s the currency that God requires us to share with the world. The coins of God’s love are kindness, respect and generosity. That’s why the following scripture is so powerful:
If someone says, "I love God" but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don't love the people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?' -1 John 4:20
The Greek word “hate” in this verse is miseo, which means to detest or love less. Yikes! Love is the one way that we can show the world that we are different. These days, Christians are working so hard to show the world that they are right, but we struggle to love toward each other.
Friends, if we mess this up, we might as cancel weekend services, shut up and go home.
While there’s a lot of things happening in our culture that swing far from God’s intentions, why do we think the world will be attracted to the gospel if we can’t be kind to each other? I know that the recent Target news is shocking, but ask yourself whether or not your posts and comments build a bridge for the gospel or put up barriers? When believers are fighting with each other, unbelievers see it and shake their heads. How can our world believe that God’s love can transform them if they can’t see the evidence in us?
Practically speaking, how do we do this? Here’s a verse that I’ve been meditating on a lot lately:
"Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry." -James 1:9
Question: Who’s usually quick to speak and slow to listen? (You should know that my hand is in the air…)
I’m not always a great listener and I can be Usain Bolt-fast with a reply. Yet, to love people means that I need to HEAR their words and hear their heart. How about you? How does this verse challenge you today?
So a quick temperature check for all of us:
Is there another believer that you need to forgive?
Is there another believer that you need to call and apologize to for something you’ve said?
Is there another believer that you need to reach out and help because he or she needs it?
How can you love others better today?
by Barb Roose | Feb 10, 2016 | Christian Living/Discipleship, Scripture Devotional
Here’s a question that I’ve been asked many times over the years, but I’ve never had an answer for it:
“What are you giving up for Lent?”
To tell you the truth, I’ve never celebrated Lent. I grew up in the Baptist (meaning black Baptist – the clapping, shouting and gospel wing of the Baptist folks). My family also spent a few years in a Pentacostal church, too. In short, I grew up “Bapti-cost.”
In fact, I didn’t know anything about Lent until I attended junior high school. Classmates would disappear mid-morning on some random Wednesday in February. Now, during my growing years, the pastors talked A LOT about the rapture. Anytime I couldn’t find someone, I tended to get a little nervous…
Anywho, those classmates returned around lunchtime with a dark smudge on their forehead and with a solemn look on their face. It took me FOREVER to work up the nerve to point and ask, “So, what’s going on that?”
Back in the day, this is all my friends told me:
- We can’t eat meat on Fridays.
- We have to give up something that we really like.*
For my classmates, Lent drilled down to a long, miserable season of “I can’t…”
What are you planning to give up this year for Lent? Are you excited or are you dreading it?
photo credit: http://wellness.nifs.org
Is that how you feel about Lent? Are you now trapped in 40 days of “I can’t…”?
While I may not share your Lenten experiences, I regularly observe the spiritual discipline of fasting. When you think about it, Lent is just an organized, formalized expression of fasting. And as one who fasts, I share your “I can’t” Lenten struggles.
We HATE voluntarily saying “no” to something that we always say “yes” to. There’s a loud voice inside of our heads that objects to voluntary self-restraint. As soon as we make our Lenten or fasting commitment, we think that we’ll die without the thing we’re giving up. Maybe not die, but we’re going to be so miserable! If we’re being honest, we’re a little miffed at God for making us into give up stuff. Like it’s His fault that we have to do it. And, when people ask what we’re giving up, how often do we share our hostage-like sacrifice with a little sigh:
“I can’t have chocolate.”
“I can’t go shopping.”
“I can’t be on Facebook.”
“I can’t go out on Friday nights.”
Whatever comes after “I can’t” is often an indicator of what we love and value a little more than God. I’m not saying that you love chocolate more than God, but do you love indulging yourself over showing self-restraint? You may not love television more than God, but how often does television or the Internet hijack your prayer or Bible study?
What we sacrifice often reveals our spiritual struggle.
Recently, my church finished a 28-day fast in January. I decided that I would give up desserts. I LOVE DESSERT. Love, love, love, love, love dessert.
Guess what? As soon as I said that I would give up dessert, I got mad that I wouldn’t be able to have dessert. Pitiful, I know. Dessert really isn’t any big deal, but my first-world heart has become accustomed to having whatever it wants. I don’t like to eat one cookie. I like to eat lots of cookies. If you ever offer me a cookie, I hope you have a few more just in case…
Lent and fasting are all about teaching our hearts and minds to submit to God’s way of life in us. When we choose to give up something that we love for a season, we give ourselves space to strategically practice submitting to God. The more we practice submission, the less we feel terrorized by the pressure of our internal wants and desires.
Here’s a great question to ask yourself: What becomes possible when we give up something for Lent?**
Instead of focusing on the “I can’t…” of Lent or fasting, we have the incredible opportunity to transform our thinking into “I can connect…”
Think about what you’ve chosen to give up. What if during the next 40 days, you gave God that space and let Him fill it? What if the absence of that thing actually filled you with more time to connect more with God or others? Imagine the possibilities!
When I gave up desserts, each time I felt a desire for dessert, I made the choice to connect with God. I changed careers in January, so I needed to pray more. I faced some tremendous personal challenges as of late, so I needed more of God’s wisdom and peace.
Instead of looking for comfort from a sugary, creamy treat, I chose to find comfort in God. So, I prayed A LOT in January…and I lost quite a few pounds, too!
In giving up something that I loved, I gained something that I needed most: God.
What are you giving up for Lent this year? Instead of focusing on “I can’t” during this Lenten’s season, what opportunities do you have to connect with God or your family and friends more during this season? Share your Lenten memories and your suggestions that might help others in the comments.
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References:
- http://www.christianitytoday.com/ch/news/2004/lent.html
- This question was inspired by a similar question that leadership guru, Michael Hyatt often asks when individuals are struggling or suffering through hardship.
