by Barb Roose | May 5, 2016 | Uncategorized
Maybe no one has ever told you this before, but it’s good to grieve the dreams that never will be.
Almost 10 years ago, my Christian counselor taught me the importance of having ‘funerals’ for the dreams or expectations that were never going to be. I get real messed up when I hold onto certain expectations or hopes in life. As the Proverbs say, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.” That can be so true for me! So, in order for me to live in God’s plan for my life, I have to practice letting go of my plans. But, it’s hard to let unrealized hopes and dreams die. That’s why “funerals” are an important ritual in my life.
Once a year or so, I take an afternoon and head down to my favorite spot at a local park overlooking the river and have a funeral for my lost dreams. I bring a blanket to sit on, my bible and lots of tissues!
I spend time with God acknowledging those things that will never be. I really wanted those dreams to come true! But they didn’t. So this is my funeral prayer:
“I dreamed that (insert dream) but that dream isn’t going to come true. I really wanted it God! And it hurts, but I need to let that dream die. I need to mourn it and move it out of my heart so that You can fill the space with a new thing for me.”
When we don’t grieve our lost dreams or unfulfilled expectations, our hearts get cluttered and chaotic.
Surrender is the path to peace.
God has great plans for you, my friends!
You have permission to bravely let go – and wait confidently for God to plant His new dream in your heart!
TALK BACK TIME: Have you let go of a dream and God gave you a new one? If so, share your comments with us and encourage someone today! We’d love to hear from you!
by Barb Roose | Sep 3, 2015 | Reflections, Women's Topics
Yesterday, I had the privilege of sitting across from a lovely woman and hear the dream that’s been growing in her heart for years. I watched her face light up and I listened to the words that come from the bravest who dream big:
“I hope…”
“I wish…”
“I think I can…”
I love dreams. But, dreams are scary. When we dream, we also fear that it won’t come true. For some of us, that fear eats our dreams before we ever get the chance to enjoy them. At our church, we’ve got a new series coming up titled #FAILPROOF – a series about how we can push past the fear that keeps us from living out God-sized dreams. Our fear of failure paralyzes us, doesn’t it? I hate failure. I hate feeling like a failure. In fact, once upon a time, the fear of failure almost got me…
Did you know that I wrote a book that never got published?
About 10 years before my Enough Already book, I wrote a fiction book that is still sitting on the shelf in my bedroom. I tried to get it published, but it didn’t work out. It was rejected and that rejection hurt. For a long time, I didn’t want to write a book because I didn’t want to be rejected ever again. Yet, I kept that book because it eventually taught me a lesson about dreams: A dream is precious and can be celebrated, even if it doesn’t become all that I hoped it to be.
That dream didn’t come true, but it did serve a purpose in my life.
A few years later, God sent me a new dream as well as divine timing. That new dream grew into my Enough Already book. It was a costly dream, but that’s what making dreams-come-true is all about. Dreams ain’t easy, friends. And if it is, then it isn’t a real dream.
What are you dreaming about? Have you been holding onto a dream, but unsure what to do?
I’d love permission to encourage you today with a few suggestions:
- Tell someone. Dreams are hard, but there are some dreams that we make harder than they need to be. Let’s face it, some of your dreams, like repairing a relationship or getting out of debt – those dreams feel impossible as long as they are in your head. You’ve got to tell someone about your dream! For some of you, this will require courage, but I know you can do it! Pick someone you TRUST and lay it on them, but don’t expect them to do anything other than listen.
- Give your dream time to grow into reality. I finished my first book in 2004, but I didn’t publish my first solo book until 2015. So, what did I do during all of those unpublished years? I wrote. A lot. I prepared while I waited. So should you.
- Make an Ask. Be specific about what kind of help that you need, but don’t expect someone to work your dream. As a wise consultant and friend keeps saying, “Healthy people know how to ask for what they want, even if they don’t always get it.” (Now, before you all write me to ask for help about publishing a book, I’m still trying to figure it all out!)
- Take responsibility for your dream. A dream is like a baby. You’ve got to nurture it, direct it, reposition it and most of all, take responsible for the good, the bad and the ugly that happens when dreams become reality. Don’t orphan your dream when it gets shaky or off-course, stay with it!
A message for those who’ve stopped dreaming…
Life happens. We fail. We get beat up. Sometimes, we want to give up. Don’t give up on dreaming!
I don’t know why you’ve stopped dreaming, but I know what it feels like to be dream-less: it feels like death. In fact, there’s a verse in the Old Testament that I’m paraphrasing: “Without a vision (dream), the people will perish (die).” Without a dream, there’s part of you that feels like it’s dying inside.
So, what do you do? How can you start to dream again? Here’s a tip: Find someone with a dream and help him or her fulfill it. As you get involved in their dream, it will boost your confidence to begin to dream again for yourself.
Dream on, friends. It’s time for your dream ON!
Do you have a dream that you are ready to share? If you could do anything and knew you couldn’t fail, what would you do? Share your dream in the comments for us to cheer you on! If you think that this post would bless your friends, use the share buttons below.
Thanks for stopping by today! By the way, my new online magazine, FancyPants, launches on September 15 for barbroose.com subscribers ONLY. Each month, I’ll be sharing my favorite fashion stuff, style news and beautiful stuff for your faith and soul. Subscribe so that I can send you FancyPants each month!
