by Barb Roose | Sep 11, 2018 | Better Together Podcast, Women's Topics
I became so burdened with my efforts to be a “good mom” and trying to do all the things a “good mom” should do. My list of “should’s” was so long I was ready to give up. In fact, I did give up. I announced it one night at dinner with a simple- “I’m done!” -Susan Seay, mother of seven (yes, seven!)
Mom, do you ever “should” all over yourself?
- I should do another load of laundry…
- I should stay up late and make cookies for my daughter’s class…
- I should volunteer to drive carpool, even though I’m working late this week.
Sometimes those “should” feel so heavy and make us feel like we’re buried under unreasonable expectations.
If you’ve ever struggled with the “should,” you’ll love my conversation with my dear friend, Susan Seay. She’s a speaker and author living in Austin, TX. Susan and her husband, Ron are the parents to seven, yes seven kids. Not only that but Susan is a homeschool mom, who also supports and consults with other homeschooling moms on a national level. Susan is the author of Intentional Motherhood: Parenting on Purpose When Life Gets Busy.
Susan and I have been friends online for almost a year, but we met IRL (in real life) in July at the She Speaks Conference, hosted by Proverbs 31 Ministries. Susan actually flew from her home in Texas to help me out with my workshops –that’s a great friend! On top of that, I got to see Susan in action as she provided gentle and loving encouragement to every woman who crossed her path. If you meet Susan, she’s going to make your life better, whether you talk to her for one minute or an hour.
As a speaker and author, Susan’s wheelhouse is that she is a mentor for moms. And as the mother of seven, she’s got some great expertise in that area.
During our Better Together conversation today, Susan talks about a trap that is so easy for moms to fall into – the quest to be the mom that tries to do everything.
Susan and I will discuss:
- The crazy questions that people ask when they find out that she has seven kids;
- A GENIUS trick that Susan used when her kids lost their minds in the grocery store;
- What unreasonable expectations makes moms tired and discouraged;
- Stories of encouragement that will put a smile on your face;
- Overcoming the trap of perfection.
About Susan Seay…
Through the “Mentor 4 Moms” Podcast and the relatable style found in her book The Intentional Parent: Parenting On Purpose When Life Gets Busy, you get a sense of Susan’s heart to provide encouragement to moms combined with helpful practical tools. As a wife and mom to 7, she truly understands the challenges of trying to be an Intentional Parent. Susan has been a mentor to women locally in Austin, Tx and Internationally for over a decade.
LINKS
Susan Seay Website | Podcast | Intentional Parenting Book
LEAVE A COMMENT: What’s the worst piece of mom-advice that you ever received?
by Barb Roose | Sep 12, 2016 | Reflections, Women's Topics
How often do you look in the mirror and struggle with what you see?
Remember when we used to love hanging out with each other? Hmm, how old were we back then – two or three years old? How cute were we! Ahh, in those early years we couldn’t get enough of each other. We snuggle up close and do kissy-lips with at each other. We’d play endless games of hide-n-seek. By the way, you’re horrible at that game! Whenever it was my turn to count, I’d peek while counting and you never moved. What’s up with that?
Remember when I was ten years old? That’s when stupid Marcus told me that I was ugly and I had a big nose? I barely made it home from school without melting down. I ran right to the bathroom looking for you. Tears were streaming down my face as Marcus’ awful words screamed in my head.
Don’t you remember how I put my face right up against yours? I searched your eyes hoping that you’d show me that Marcus was wrong. I wanted you to smile at me and make me feel that I was okay as I was. But, you didn’t.
For me, that was the day that we stopped being friends. Correction: That was the day that YOU stopped being my friend.
Yet, we still see each other every day.
Let me apologize for what I look like in the mornings. I’ll admit that it’s a bad scene for both of us. My hot-mess hair and puffy eyes – okay, that’s all on me. (What happens overnight anyways? I always feel like I’m in some overnight street fight and lose every single time…)
Throughout the day, we catch glimpses of each other. A quick look here. A snatch of a glance there. You see me and just that quick, you always look away. No smiles. No kindness. No comfort. Whatever.
You’ve seen me I strap on my courage and strip down in the department store dressing room. Why weren’t you kinder when I tried on that pink skirt and got stuck in it? That size SHOULD HAVE FIT. I was so crushed when it didn’t. Again tears. Again I look at you. Again, all you gave me was a cold stare.
Sometimes I hate you.
Whenever I walk away from you, I want to turn back and scream, “Why aren’t you there for me? Why aren’t you on my side?”
You’ve betrayed me by not loving me. You’ve seen me at my best and worst. Yet, you never show me the support that I need. We share the same heart, the same mind and the same body and yet, you make me feel so bad about myself. I can’t win with you!
You can’t make me 20 pounds thinner, but is it so hard to give me a freakin’ smile every now and then?
Is it so hard for you to give me a thumbs up when I stop in the restaurant bathroom while I’m out with my skinner, more stylish friends?
It’s been a long time, but today, I’m getting all up in your face. We’ve got settle whatever is between us. This stops now. Today. We’re going stop blaming our issues on school bullies, skinny supermodels, unrealistic expectations or the cookies that we can’t stop eating.
This is between you and me.
Tell me, how do we patch things up between us?
I want to know that you are with me. When we look at each other, I want to look in your eyes and see that you’re on my side. I need you to stop giving me reason to criticize my face, hair, hips, breasts or arms and cheer for me instead. I want to look in your eyes and see that I am beautiful. I want to see that I am enough.
What will it take for you to do that?
Wait – are you saying something? Hold on…please whisper a little louder.
My friend, if you want me to love you, start with loving yourself. I’m just reflecting what’s going on inside of you.
The key to being friends with me is the show me what you want to see.
Do you want to see me smile? Then, you smile first.
Do you want to see me cheer for you? Then, you cheer first.
My beautiful friend, I’ll gladly follow your path, but you’ve got to learn how to lead the way.
TALK BACK TIME! What part of your body do you struggle with the most? Leave a comment below and share this post with your friends!
P.S. If you’re tired of hating the woman in the mirror, check out my Beautiful Already Bible study. Give God space to transform how you see yourself – inside AND out!
Available at major Christian retailers across the country.
Susan and I have been friends online for almost a year, but we met IRL (in real life) in July at the She Speaks Conference, hosted by Proverbs 31 Ministries. Susan actually flew from her home in Texas to help me out with my workshops –that’s a great friend! On top of that, I got to see Susan in action as she provided gentle and loving encouragement to every woman who crossed her path. If you meet Susan, she’s going to make your life better, whether you talk to her for one minute or an hour.
