by Barb Roose | Oct 30, 2018 | Christian Living/Discipleship
Earlier this summer, I shared few blog posts about what was happening with my family. At this time, it’s probably not wise to share some of the specifics of what’s been happening, only because this is still a very tender, fragile situation. If you’ve ever dealt with addiction issues, there’s already a level of out-of-controlness that goes along with this tragedy. So, rather than say too little or too much, just know that your prayers are still needed and very, very much appreciated. I trust that God is still working behind the scenes, but right now, the pain and heartache continue.
So, for the past few weeks I’ve been thinking about Isaiah 43:2 above. In God’s goodness, this is a verse was part of a message that I shared about Shadrach, Meschah and Abendego (Daniel 3) that I taught on over the weekend at the New Antioch Women’s Retreat in Maryland. In their story, these godly men took a stand for their faith and ended up in a firey furnace.
Where do you feel the heat of the fire in your life? One thing is for sure, when we feel the heat of the fire, we often feel that it’s going to kill us, right?! Perhaps you feel the heat of a financial crisis that you can’t get out of. Maybe you feel the heat of an uneasy employment situation because you aren’t sure about your job security. If you’re like me, you feel the intense hot heat of a personal crisis and you just want God to put out the fire so that you can feel relief.
Sometimes, however, God allows us to feel the heat so that we will turn to Him for help. In the retreat this weekend, I said this: God is our firefighter!
There are three lessons that I think about Isaiah 43:2:
1. God allows us to experience pain and pressure.
This is different than saying that God is the one who does bad things to us. Rather, we live in a sinful world where bad things happen to good people and sometimes, God does allow us to experience pain that frankly, doesn’t always feel fair.
2. Just because you are facing the fire today doesn’t mean that it’s your fault.
Read Daniel 3 and the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abendego. These guys loved God and served him, yet, their faith led to their fiery situation.
Don’t let judgmental people tell you that your hardship is as a result of something that you’ve done. We all face hardship and sometimes, there is no explanation for it.
Don’t beat yourself up. And even if you started the fire through bad financial decisions or an inappropriate relationship, hear this: God is still God. Turn to Him and give Him back control of your life so that He can lead you through the fire. There may be places where you’ve experienced self-inflicted pain, but God can take those places and give you purpose and redemption!
3. When you’re in the fire, stay calm!
What’s the first rule when someone catches on fire? Stop. Remember in school when they taught us to “stop, drop and roll” if our clothes caught on fire. Running away only spreads the fire, but when we stop, drop and roll, that’s how we smother it. When we feel the heat of the trials in our lives, we need to stop instead of running away from God. Isaiah 40:31 says, “They that wait on the Lord will renew their strength.”
We turn toward God, pray and study His word. God will take care of us and fight the fire for us.
These are the lessons that I cling to these days as I walk through the heat of my personal crisis. What about you? Which one of these three lessons do you need to remember today?
by Barb Roose | Oct 23, 2018 | Women's Topics
Over the summer, I was driving down the road and I heard a grinding metal noise from underneath my car. Oh-oh. After a few seconds the noice went away, but the cha-ching sound of the coming car repair costs kept ringing in my mind.
Even before I knew what was happening, my mind started playing the nausea-inducing “what if” game:
What if the repairs costs more than I have to fix it?
What if I don’t have a car to drive for a long time?
What if I have to replace my car and I can’t find something affordable?
By the time I finished playing round one the “what if” game, I was driving down the road near tears. My imagination took a little problem and blew it up and out of control. All I really knew what that a small noise was coming from my car, but I let my mind turn it into a disaster.
If you’ve ever played the “what if” game, you know that it begins with any kind of fear. It could be anything from a lump under our skin, an announcement of layoffs at the office, mysterious phone numbers on spouse’s phone. Any one of those fears feels like a threat to our safety or our unhappiness. But, if we don’t address those fears, those fears will develop new fears. In fact, in my Winning the Worry Battle book, I say it like this:
The fear of our fear is our worry.
In my situation, one car noise became a single fear that I allowed to multiply into lots of different fears in my mind. When our minds are overwhelmed by fear, we’re guaranteed to be miserable!
My friend, God doesn’t want you to be miserable. He promises you power, love and self-control (2 Timothy 1:7) – all of those beautiful things are the opposite of fear.
Perhaps this is why the Bible has so many verses that include the phrases, do not fear and do not be afraid. In fact, some estimate that there are over 300 verses, depending on the translation about not being afraid. Here’s one of my favorites that I’ve leaned on so much in the past year.
“This is my command – be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9 NLT
When you look at this verse notice that God isn’t telling us that there is nothing to be afraid of in life. In fact, God knows that there will be times of great fear, but we don’t have to live afraid because God’s presence is with us.
We can live courageously in challenging situations because God is with us and for us in every circumstance.
So, when I hear a noise in my car and my mind wants to play the “what if “ game, the lesson I’m learning is that I don’t have to play that game.
Instead, I can pray, “God, I know that You hear that noise in my car. Instead of worrying about what it might be or if I can pay for it, I will trust that You will help me handle whatever it is.”
Is there a “what if” game that you need to stop playing today? Let’s face it, there are no winners in the “what if” game, only stress and tears. Here’s a practical idea that you can consider: Grab a sheet of paper or notecard and write down five do not be afraid verses that you can post by your bathroom mirror. Read those verses each morning. Then, the next time fear tries to get you to play the “what if” game, God’s promises will show up and push back your fears. Imagine boldly looking your fears in the face and proclaiming: “God’s already given me victory. Fear, I don’t have to play your game.”
by Barb Roose | Oct 9, 2018 | Women's Topics
While enjoying a scrumptious cobb salad over lunch with a beautiful friend recently, she asked about what was happening in my life. I told her about the difficulties that my husband and I were facing. After I shared my story, this dear friend asked, “So, what do you think will happen?”
It’s not the first time that I’ve gotten that question. Most everyone asking wants to know because they are praying for us. So many of you care about our family. God bless you!
But, I also know that it’s human nature for us to want to fill in the blanks when the lines on the page are empty. Perhaps you’ve heard Aristotle’s classic quote: “Nature abhors a vacuum.” In other words, our world hates the unknown and we’ll fill in any answer just to make sure there is an answer, even if it’s wrong.
Uncertainty makes us uncomfortable because without answers, we’re not sure if we’re going to be okay. It’s tempting for us to believe that God doesn’t care. Seriously God, do you know see my life dangling over this cliff? Are YOU gonna fix this or what?!
The control freak in me loves to rebel against uncertainty. In years past I’d do everything in my power, including trying to force solutions to fill in the blanks of uncertainty. I used to rationalize that I was helping God out. Like God actually needed my help. What I really wanted was peace. I thought that fixing people or situations would give me the peace that I was looking for. More often than not, my attempts would result in more pain, not peace.
Uncertainty also creates a dangerous temptation for Christians. The temptation is for us to get on our spiritual high horses and speculate on what we think that God will do. While I believe in spiritual gifts of prophecy and discernment, I cringe when I hear well-meaning Christians say things like, “Oh, I know that God will heal your sister of cancer” or “You just wait! God’s gonna give you a job real soon that will pay twice as much as your other job.”
Friends, we should be careful speculating about what God will and won’t do beyond the promises He has already made to us.
We can trust this truth: God is always at work whether we can see it or not.
But, we cannot know what God is working out behind the scenes and within people’s hearts. Can God heal someone of cancer? Of course! Does He heal everyone? No. Just the same, God can provide jobs and double incomes, but He also allows long-term unemployment, too. God IS the God of miracles! I’ve seen it and you probably have, too. And then God also allows heartache. I’ve experienced it and you have, too.
God hasn’t forgotten about you even as His answer to your prayers still seem to be “wait and see.”
In a long message to the Israelites before they entered the Promise Land, Moses said to the people: “The Lord our God has secrets known to no one. We are not accountable for them, but we and our children are accountable forever for all that he has revealed to us, so that we may obey all the terms of these instructions.” -Deuteronomy 29:29
The reality is that there are things that God only knows and we don’t need to carry the weight of trying to figure the future out. However, God has given us the responsiblity and accountablilty of trusting Him. That’s why I love God’s instructions to Joshua as the new leader of God’s people faced uncertainty at the entrance of the Promised Land. While God is working out His purpose in our lives, He gives us directions to follow Him while He is working. Trusting God in uncertain times doesn’t mean that we sit around and do nothing.
Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.” -Joshua 1:8 NLT
Instead of speculating on the future, we study God’s words to us;
Instead of making guesses, we mediate on God’s promises;
Instead of operating on our own agenda, we obey God’s instructions.
God knows that when we assume accountability for what we can’t control, we will end up stressed out and out of control.
While we think that knowing everything that God knows will relieve the stress of uncertainty in our lives, that’s actually not the case. Think about how complex your life is today. Now, imagine God sent you an email telling you about all of the job changes, babies born, health issues, exciting summer trips, and goodbyes of the next ten years. The stress of all of that information would be too much bear, wouldn’t it?
In my struggle with uncertainty, I’ve discovered three insights that have brought me peace and helped me to embrace uncertainty:
- God protects me with what He doesn’t tell me as much as He blesses me with what He does reveal.
- I don’t want to be responsible for everything that God knows.
- God has given me the knowledge and information that I can handle right now.
So, when my friend asked me over lunch, “What do you think will happen with your marriage?” I answered confidently, “I don’t know. I’m waiting for God’s future for me to unfold.”
It feels good to say that and actually find peace in it and know that I’ve surrendered control. God’s promises are far greater than whatever we’re facing today. As we walk the messy middle of uncertainty by keeping our eyes on God, we actually get stronger!
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint. -Isaiah 40:31 NLT
If uncertainty is causing you a great deal of stress today, stop in this moment and take a deep breath. God is with you and for you in every circumstance.
Uncertainty is tough. But you can take a first step to letting go of trying to figure things out. Can you start with believing just a little that God has only given you the knowledge and resources that you can handle right now? Just believe that a little bit. Whatever you are missing in your life is where God will fill in the blanks in His time. You can be certain that as you trust Him, He will take care of you every step of the way.
by Barb Roose | Oct 4, 2018 | Better Together Podcast
Are you a woman that likes to get things done?
If you love to-do lists, then you’re going to love my conversation with Katie M. Reid, author of Made Like Martha: Good News for the Woman Who Gets Things Done. Katie is a self-described modern-day Martha who struggled with the well-known story of two women with two different approaches to life in Luke 10.
Have you ever read the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10? It’s a story of two women named Martha and Mary. In one particular situation, Martha worked to get her home prepared to offer hospitality while her sister, Mary sat at Jesus’ feet. When Martha asked Jesus to instruct Mary to help, Jesus answered with the following words: “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all of these details. There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it and it will not be taken from her.” (Luke 10:41-42 NLT)
Too many of us have read this story and walked away with the conclusion that Jesus was criticizing Martha for trying to get things done. However, Katie challenges us to consider that Jesus didn’t condemn Martha’s method. Rather, Jesus invited her to change her mindset. Instead of being worried and distracted, Martha was encouraged to experience Jesus’ inner peace instead of trying to live up to unrealistic expectations.
So, if you’re made like Martha and you’re tired of trying to do it all, live up to unrealistic expectations or you’re beating yourself up for not being perfect, today’s conversation is just for you.
Join today’s conversation and listen as Katie and I discuss:
- How to stop beating yourself up for being a hard-working Martha;
- How to say “yes,” “no” and most importantly, when to ask for help;
- How to swap out trying to balance our lives and learn how to “steward” our lives instead;
- Helpful tips to enjoy being made like Martha and get things done without getting burnt out.
Bonus! Talk back to us and share your answers to the following:
- Should bathroom toilet paper be hung over or under?
- Do you squeeze toothpaste be squeezed from the middle or rolled from the bottom?
- Do your fold or crumple your toilet paper before wiping?
LINKS FROM TODAY’S EPISODE
Katie M. Reid Website | Facebook | Twitter
Made Like Martha: Good News for Women Who Like to Get Things Done
About your Better Together podcast host…
Barb Roose is a popular speaker and author who is passionate about equipping women to win at life with Christ-empowered strength and dignity. Barb loves speaking at women’s conference and leadership events such as the Aspire Women’s Events, She Speaks Conference and the UMC Leadership Institute.
Barb is the author of multiple books and Bible studies, including her newest releases: Winning the Worry Battle: Life Lessons from the Book of Joshua and Bible study called Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle. Barb’s writing has been featured in magazines or blogs such as Simple Truth Magazine, iBelieve.com, Crosswalk.com, More to Life Magazine, Just Between Us Magazine, Cherished, InCourage and Women of Faith.
An avid traveler, reader, and lover of all things chocolate-peanut butter, Barb and her family live in NW Ohio with their dog, Quimby and a very grumpy 10-year rabbit. Visit Barb’s online home at barbroose.com.
Check out this episode!
by Barb Roose | Sep 25, 2018 | Women's Topics
It seemed like yesterday when I gave birth to my oldest child. Of course, yesterday was actually 26 years ago. Now, that child is packing up her apartment in preparation for an overseas military deployment later this year. Following close on her heels is my 23-old daughter, who’s planning to sign a lease on her first apartment later this week. My youngest daughter, also known as the one who qualified me for the Empty Nest Club, is settling into her second week of college. Yesterday, she texted me from the coffee shop because she’d spent two hours studying the wrong material for her medical terminology quiz.
From the time that my kids were born until now, I’ve worried about keeping them safe, well fed, happy or secure. When they were newborns, I watched their tiny chests lift up and down to make sure they were breathing. I guarded my babies to keep them from tipping into sharp table corners as they tried to stand and take those wobbly first steps. And once my kids began walking, a multitude of new fears and worries walked into my life…
Once our kids start walking, we spend the rest of our lives gritting our teeth and wringing our hands worrying if our grown up bundles of joy will be okay. Will my son make the right decision about college? What if my daughter loses her job? What if that young woman isn’t good enough for my boy?
Some moms also have to face deeper, darker worries and heart-breaking questions. Like the mom who told me about how much she loved her 30-year old son, but his on-going drinking problem was wrecking his life. Out of guilt for her own mothering mistakes, she’d pay his bills, let him move back in and talked to creditors. However, the years of stress over his problems and the financial burden of bailing him out caused her to lose sleep at night and cry all of the time.
When I meet women at conferences or retreats to sign books, I always ask what they worry about most. At least half of the women say, “I worry about my adult kids.” Many of those women answer with shiny eyes filled with unshed tears. Sweet friend, if that is you today, you aren’t alone.
One of the most well-known verses in the Bible contains the wisdom and advice that all mamas, no matter the age or stage of their children – need to hear. Do me a favor and read this verse aloud so that your mind AND ears can hear the peace and the plan that God wants to give to you:
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:6-7 NLT
These verses are God’s encouragement for you, my friend. Whatever you are worried about today, give it to God. It doesn’t matter if you’re worried about your little ones, big kids, adult children or even children yet to be born, give those worries AND those kids over to God. Be real and honest about what is tearing up your heart, whether it’s a child who won’t do their homework or a son or daughter who never calls to check in. Tell God about it.
Then give thanks. Please don’t forget this part!
In the middle of our fear and worry, gratitude gets pushed aside. Our minds get so focused on what we lack, we forget the love that we’ve given and received. Thank God for the moments that you have spent with your children. Even when life is really hard, nothing is ever all bad. There is healing in gratitude, so don’t deprive yourself of it.
Ultimately, God wants us to give up our worries so that He can give us peace.
Mom, would you rather have worry or peace when your child is going through a tough time? Peace doesn’t come without surrendering your worry. If you want to hold onto all of those negative thoughts and panic, God will let you to do just that. But God has something better waiting for you.
If you’re ready to let God handle all of the worries about your kids, go ahead and tell God about it. If you need words, you can use these:
Dear God, I’m so overwhelmed with worry about my child. You know how much I love them and it’s so hard for me to see them in this situation. Yet, I know that my worries and my fears aren’t doing anything but making me miserable. God, I am so afraid that ___________________________ will happen. I need to surrender that fear to you and trust that You are watching over my child and that I can trust You with his/her life. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
