When You’re Not Getting What You Want For Christmas.

When You’re Not Getting What You Want For Christmas.

When I was a kid, I loved Christmas because I knew that my parents worked hard to give us kids at least a few of the toys that we pestered them for that year. On Christmas morning, we’d rip the boxes and packages open, screaming and laughing with excitement.

But... there were a few wrapped, squishy gifts pushed waaay back under the tree. Every year, we could count on those packages to show up, much to our chagrin. While the wise men brought Jesus and his parents gold, frankincense, and myrrh, Christmas morning in my family always included the most another (un)popular gift trifecta - underwear, socks, and thermal long johns. Every.single.year.

But here’s what my parents knew that I didn’t realize until my adult years: They knew that my new Pacman handheld game wasn’t going to keep me warm and dry at the school bus stop during the cold Ohio winter.  Neither was any other toy or book waiting for me under the tree. Now I understand that those gifts of socks, underwear, and thermals were symbols of true love and provision that addressed my most important needs.

How often do we get so excited about the things that we want in life BUT we overlook or undervalue the things that we really need?

Chances are this Christmas, there’s something on your list that you'd really like to receive on Christmas. Now, I’m not talking about getting a luxury vehicle in the driveway with a giant red bow on top. Instead, I’m referring that good thing that you deeply desire, but money or control can’t buy.

A healed marriage. 
A positive pregnancy test.
New employment.
Good health. 
Relief from grief.

If our hearts' desire goes unfulfilled and we don't address it, sparks of anger, envy, or bitterness will rise up as we look around us. Sure, those strong emotions can surface anytime during the year, but there’s something about Christmas season that magnifies what’s broken, missing, or changed in our lives. Com’on God! Why does everyone have ________ except for me?

As one who is living right in the middle of that tension, I’ve had to really fight hard to not compare this painful season of my life to the smiling, happy, photo-shopped images on social media. It's been a battle, friends.

More importantly, I’ve had to remind myself of an important spiritual principle that applies every day of the year. This principle is critically important at Christmas when I’m not going to receive what I want most. Here’s the lesson – and feel free to read it aloud:

God doesn’t always give me everything I want, but He always gives me an abundance of what I need.
 
This is the irrefutable promise of God that the pastor Paul writes about in Philippians 4:19: And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. 

Here’s a tough question: Do you truly know the difference between what you want and what you really need? This question isn’t as easy as we pretend it to be. There are a lot of good things out there that we want. But, when our attention is solely focused on what we want, we're missing out on the knowledge and blessing that God has given us more than what we need.

So what do we need? We need what God alone can provide, which looks a lot different than what most of us are asking Him for.

We need to possess what cannot be destroyed by time (Matthew 6:19-20). God longs to pour out His riches of peace, hope, love, joy, purpose, and an eternal connection with Him. Compare what you want against God's riches. What offers the greatest blessing to you? Sure, peace and joy aren’t items that we usually put on our Christmas list, but like socks, underwear, and thermals, it's what we need most.

I’ve had to challenge myself on the wants vs. needs question this Christmas season. While I want a healed marriage, I cannot fix my focus on that desire alone. What I need more than any desire is a close, abiding connection with God, who is my source of hope, joy, and peace (Romans 15:13). As I seek God first, He fills me with Himself and satisfies my every need (Matthew 6:33, Psalm 16:11).

Like the trifecta of underwear, socks, and thermals, God’s hope, joy, and peace is what keeps us and protect us not matter the ups and downs in life. Best of all, God lavishes upon us an abundance of those essential needs to fill us up as the hardships and heartache drain us each day.

A final prayer for us before Christmas: God, You are all I need. Help my hearts and eyes to desire Your eternal treasure more than anything that I could see or want on this earth. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Letting God Lead

Letting God Lead

I’ve struggled with being patient all of my life.

Once, I even purchased a house without telling my husband. It was awful. I had to make a lot of apologies. For me, I get impatient when I want something that will make me happy or feel secure and God isn’t moving fast enough.

Can you think of a few times when you struggled with impatience and jumped ahead to do the opposite of what God wanted for your life?

  • Your dream guy isn’t proposing fast enough so you compromise your standards in order to keep him….
  • You find a just-over-the budget dream home, but panic because you’re afraid of not getting it so you take out a hefty loan that keeps you up at night…
  • Your spouse is struggling or not getting with your program so you resort to nagging or lecturing to pressure him straighten up his wayward behavior.

It’s been said that while the early bird gets the worm, it’s the second mouse gets the cheese. We have to be careful and not jump too quick for something that God isn’t ready to give us. 

I love the story of the Israelites crossing the Jordan River before they entered the Promised Land (Joshua 3). God told Joshua to instruct the millions of Israelites to let the ark of the covenant start out toward the river before them. Joshua told the people to keep a half-mile distance or a 15-minute walk between themselves and the ark. Since the ark was the physical presence of God, the big picture principle behind the command to stand back was this: Let God lead.

For me, this distance is also symbolic. Sometimes we get in a hurry when we’re trying to get something done. We pray and ask God for help or a favor. At first, we try to be patient. But when God is taking too long to get us what we want, we rush ahead into the unknown just because we’re too scared to stand still. But there was a reason why God told the people to wait for the ark to lead. “Then you will know which way to go, since you have never been this way before.” (Joshua 3:4 NIV).

When life is uncertain, this is the most important time to slow down and let God lead.  Let’s be honest, when you don’t really know what you’re doing or where you’re going, there’s a greater chance that you’ll mess up or hurt others figuring things out.  But, God knows exactly what He is doing in your life at ALL times! There are no dark corners in God’s vision. He will always lead you to His best for you. 

What’s a clue that you’re rushing ahead of God? You know that you’re rushing ahead of God when you start stressing out, controlling people, and worrying about details. When you wait on God to lead you through uncertain times, you‘re far enough back to let God pave the way for you.

Learning to be patient and let God lead is a hard lesson. But every time I let go and let God, He shows up and leads me through uncertainty in a way that allows me to sleep well each night and manage through tough days with peace, strength, and courage.

When God Allows More Than You Can Handle

When God Allows More Than You Can Handle

For years, my former pastor and boss encouraged our staff team to participate in an overseas missions trip. Not only would we receive our regular pay while we were gone, but we’d also receive an additional day off to rest when we returned. Sweet deal, right?! But, there was no amount of incentive that could convince me to leave the safety and security of my home for the unknown of a third-world country where I was afraid of the heat, bugs, strange food, and that I didn’t know the language. 

For years, I said no when even God nudged me to say yes to that missions trip. My pastor would announce it at staff meetings and the guilt would be unbearable because I couldn’t believe that I was actually saying no to the God that I loved and wanted to serve with all my heart.

Finally, my life verse pushed back against my many fears: Seek the kingdom above all else and live righteously, and he will give you everything that you need. –Matthew 6:33 NLT

If I loved God, then I realized that I needed to say yes to going on a missions trip.

But what about everything that I was afraid of? One of my biggest fears was running into a giant spider. I had nightmares of spiders crawling over me at night and that I was unable to get away.

But, when I thought about the words in Matthew 6:33, God’s promise was that if I trust Him and followed where He led me, then God would help me handle my fears.

Whenever people say to me, “Well, God never gives us more than we can handle,” I gently push back and say to them,

“I believe that God allows more than we can handle so that we’ll realize that there are situations that ONLY God can handle.”

On that first missions trip, I realized that my fears were more than I could handle. In fact, I barely got any sleep at night because I was so worried about a spider crawling on me or biting me. Each night, I’d wrap up inside of my comforter like a burrito. I was wrapped up so tight that I could barely breathe. Guess what? God did take care of me because even though I was in humid, tropical conditions, my beautiful host family had fantastic air conditioning. Even though I slept only a little each night, at least I didn’t suffocate!

In the midst of my great fear, I saw God do even greater work while on that trip. We carried rocks to fill a new home foundation for a hard-working mother with seven kids. I taught Jesus’ love through Bible lessons and face-painted dozens of kids. I worked in the clinic pharmacy and saw the life-changing effects of simple medicines that we took for granted here in the US.

My fears were more than I could handle, but God still took good care of me. Even though I didn’t handle my fears well, I experienced God in a great way that changed the trajectory of my life.

In fact, I’ve taken almost ten missions trips over the years. Get this: I’m still afraid of spiders. But, I’m more afraid of missing out on how God wants to use me. 

If what you’re facing today is bigger than what you can handle, that means that your situation is perfect for God’s power and might. Seek God first in your situation. He will give you the power and strength to handle whatever comes your way.

Guest Blog Post– Ginger Tarkowski

Guest Blog Post– Ginger Tarkowski

Ladies! We all know how stressful the Holiday season can be for some of us. Please welcome my friend Ginger Tarkowski as she shares some of the ways she gets into the the spirit for the season!
Ginger is a mom of 2 and she loves her kids more than anything. She is a Christmas fanatic who loves spending time with her family as much as possible. 


How to Get In the Spirit for the Holiday Season

The holiday season is finally here, and it really is the most wonderful time of the year. There is so much excitement in the air that everything can become so hectic. If you’re ready to get into the holiday spirit, read on for some ways you can get ready for the season!

Listen to your favorite tunes

There is nothing better to get you in the mood for Christmas than bopping along to some festive music. Turn on some of your favorite classics when you’re cleaning around the house or cooking dinner (or even getting started on your holiday baking)! You’ll instantly feel a sense of cheer with Christmas carols as your background music for whatever you’re doing. If you want an update for your music collection, check out some of the 2018 Christmas albums that recently came out.

Watch Christmas movies

Another really simple way to get in the mood for the holidays is to spend a lazy Saturday night watching Christmas movies. Bake some cookies and sit back to enjoy some family-friendly Christian movies that you and your kids will love. With so many options, you’re sure to get in the spirit after watching a couple of feel-good holidays flicks.

Start decorating

If you’re ready to start celebrating Christmas, that means it’s time to decorate! It’s quite impossible to not be in a holiday mood when your house looks so festive. If you don’t know where to start, utilize some of these decorating tips to give you some ideas. Start simple and add in minimalist pieces to bring some spirit into your home, that way you can add more later if you want. You’ll love coming home every day to your lovely decorating, and you’ll feel very holly jolly!

Set up a hot chocolate bar

Getting ready for the holidays can be done through so many simple actions, like a hot chocolate bar. Opt for a homemade hot cocoa recipe to keep the flavors authentic, set out an assortment of mugs, and get started! Make sure to include lots of extra treats to add to your hot chocolate, like peppermint sticks, mini marshmallows, and whipped cream. With the colder weather this time of year, your mug of hot chocolate will warm you up from the inside out!

Host a holiday party

Not all holiday parties have to be over the top. You can plan a really simple gathering for your closest friends and family to spread your excitement for the season. Encourage everyone to wear their festive attire, make festive Christmas treats, and cozy up your house so everyone feels welcome! You can invite your guests to bring a small gift to exchange or simply just bring a dish to pass.

 

Do you have any favorite Holiday traditions or any fun ways to get into the Holiday spirit? Share them in the comments!

When Your Worry Keeps You Up At Night

When Your Worry Keeps You Up At Night

It was the middle of the night. I took five steps across the hardwood floor as quietly as I could, hoping not to jam my toes on the corner of dresser. When I took those five steps, I stopped and turned. Then, I padded five steps back in the other direction, quietly wiping the tears that were falling down my face.

Why did you let this happen, God?

When will this end, God?

I’m so miserable…

If you’ve ever paced the floor at night, you know that middle-of-the-night pacing is not exactly a party. When we’re watching the midnight minutes tick away because we can’t sleep, well let’s be honest, it sucks. #Christiancurseword

What’s been keeping you up at night lately? More importantly, how is the lack of sleep affecting your life? There’s only so much coffee can do for you. Good sleep is essential for good health. So how do we stop our worries from screwing up our sleep?

There’s a tool that I created to interrupt the worried thoughts that might prevent me from getting a good night’s sleep. It’s called the God-morning/God night technique. This simple tool is so easy to do and use! Best of all, it activates the power of God’s Word to work the worry out of your mind.

Every worry gets stopped in its tracks by the Word of God!

In order to use the God morning/God night technique, you’ll need a “starter set” of five short verses from the Bible. Search for verses that contain words or phrases like peace, do not fear, do not worry, or courage. Here are a few of my favorites:

When I am afraid, I will put my trust in you. –Psalm 56:3

For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. –Philippians 4:13 

Give all of your worries and cares to God for He cares about you. -1 Peter 5:7

You can add two more verses to this starter set. You can store them in your phone, but I recommend writing them on a notecard or small sheet of paper and taping it to your nightstand or any place you’ll see it before going to bed. For the next 30 days, read those verses aloud before you go to settle down for bed. Don’t rush through reading them, take the time to hear the truth in the words as you read them. God’s truth always wins over your worry.

I use this technique in the morning, too. When I wake up, it’s easy for mind to spin about everything might go wrong.

However, when I start my day with God’s Word, my worries get shot down before they start.

If you try the “God morning/God night” technique, take a picture of your card by your bed and share it with me on my Facebook page. If you do this, you’ll encourage others to do it, too. Imagine how you can help others trust God and get a good night’s sleep!

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