Will You Allow God to Change Your Plans?

Will You Allow God to Change Your Plans?

by | Jan 18, 2019 | Uncategorized

In their hearts, humans plan their course but the LORD establishes their steps. –Proverbs 16:9 NLT 

I don’t know about you, but there are a lot of times when I think that my life should look like the top picture, but the bottom picture is a better description of how my life unfolds. Can you relate?

Look, if your life is always the top picture, let me know. I really would love to talk to you!

There's nothing like imagining life as a straight line but in reality, God allows my life to look a little more like an off-road adventure with no steering wheel.  

Most of us know what it's like to travel unplanned roads gathering vital life lessons, experience the good, the bad and the not fair. In high school, I thought that I'd be an English teacher. I ended up married. While married and in college, I planned to be an attorney. I ended up graduating from college earlier and becoming an insurance adjuster. I planned to have two kids, but God knew that we needed the third one who has added so much fun into our lives. 

Now, I’m traveling along a long, dark, bumpy road of an addiction issue in our family. God, I’m not a fan of this particular road. Can you re-route us back over to the familiar road where we could set the cruise control and enjoy the sun on our faces? 

God’s answer seems to be: Sweet Barb, this is the road I've allowed for you. Stop focusing on the bumps and look forward so that you won't miss my blessings.

Does that whisper sound familiar to you, too?

Some of you are totally grooving with me right now. We’re waking up each day living a life that we could have never imagined in our wildest dreams – or scariest nightmares.   

So, when I think about King Solomon’s observation in Proverbs 16:9 that we can make plans but God determines our steps, I think that there is tremendous wisdom that we can apply to our lives at the beginning of the new year. 

In this verse, we are reminded that God controls the speed and direction of our desired steps.  This means that there will likely be points in our life journey when our lives and plans will blow off course, like a ship blown off course in a storm. 

We have to move unexpectedly… 

We switch to a new career… 

We can’t pregnant… 

We get a life-changing diagnosis… 

We feel God’s prompting to change our lifestyle… 

We’ll face the loss of a child or spouse… 

When our lives seem to blow off course – even for good reasons – it can be a shock to our system. While there are some surprises like a promotion or new baby that we can get behind and get excited about, the tough unexpected changes can bring a kind of pain that tempts us to shake our fist at God and beg him to put our lives back on track. 

What if God changes your life so that you can take some life-changing steps of faith? 

In Proverbs 16:9, the last part of the verse says that God establishes our steps. As I reflected on those words, I realized that God’s plan for our lives includes an off-course invitation to take steps that are often difficult, but always have eternal value.  

Here's some steps of opportunity that God might be inviting you to take in this off-road season of your life:

If you're out of your comfort zone, God invites you to take a step of faith. 

If you aren't getting what you want, God invites you to take a step of surrender. 

If your plan is delayed, God invites you to take a step of patience. 

If you've made a mistake, God invites you to take a step of humility. 

If a friend or family fails you, God invites you to take a step of forgiveness. 

If you've fallen into sin, God invites you to take a step of repentance. 

A friendly reminder (or you might need the following as a warning against wrong expectations of God):  Just because you take the step doesn’t mean that God will put your plans back on track.

That’s not how God works. Rather, your step is a willingness to allow God to take you on a journey to a place that you’ve never been and lead you toward experiencing a level of faith and trust that you’ve never had. 

If I had to drill down what I’ve learned about what happens when God allows the plans for my life to go off-course, here’s a summary of what I’ve learned: 

It will be a wild ride. 

It will be an emotional journey. 

You’ll experience a closer relationship with God that you could never accomplish any other way. 

 

COMMENT: Has your life blown off your planned course? What step do you feel God might be calling you to take?

How to Talk About Hard Things | Lori Roeleveld

How to Talk About Hard Things | Lori Roeleveld

by | Jan 18, 2019 | Uncategorized

Did you grow up in a home where things were kept silent? Did your parents ask you to keep secrets or warn you not to talk about certain family problems outside of the house?

In today’s Better Together podcast, we’re talking about how to stop suffocating in silence and learn how to have hard conversations. Even as Jesus taught that the Truth of the gospel would set us free from eternal condemnation, we also know that speaking God’s Truth also frees us from the strongholds of secret sin, generational curses and other dysfunctional behaviors.

My guest is Lori Roeleveld, author of the new book, The Art of Hard Converations: Biblical Tools for the Tough Talks that Matter (2019). Today, Lori explains why we struggle to have hard conversations and how to learn how to have them. 

I know first hand how secrets are strongholds that can drain the hope of even the strongest families. If you’ve been sitting in silence and afraid of speaking up for any reason, Lori’s words just might be divine timing for you.

Here’s what you’ll learn in this episode:

    • Three conversational styles: Turtle, Hawk, or Chameleon;
    • Two questions that you need to ask before beginning a hard conversation;
    • How to create a safe culture in your home so that your kids learn how to have healthy, hard conversations;
    • How to embrace hard conversations with adult kids and not alienate them.

 

Connect with Lori!

Website |  Facebook |  LinkedIn |  Twitter

The Art of Hard Conversations Book

About today’s guest…

Lori Stanley Roeleveld is an author, speaker, and disturber of hobbits who enjoy making comfortable Christians late for dinner. Biblical, funny, and real, she inspires courage and Christ-centered confidence. She’s authored three non-fiction books including Running from a Crazy Man, Jesus and the Beanstalk, and the upcoming, The Art of Hard Conversations, as well as a novella, Red Pen Redemption. Though she has degrees in Psychology and Biblical Studies, she learned the most from studying her Bible in life’s trenches. Blogger. Wife. Mother of adults. Part-time giant-slayer. Not available for children’s parties. Though she once tried to escape, she adventures with Jesus in a small town in Rhode Island where her husband is renovating his dream house. To join the adventure, knock on her door at www.loriroeleveld.com

Healing Father Wounds | Kia Stephens

Healing Father Wounds | Kia Stephens

by | Jan 9, 2019 | Uncategorized

 

Did you grow up with a father who was absent from your life? Have you felt the emptiness and ache that accompanies the absence of his love and involvement?

On this week's episode of Better Together, I'm talking with Kia Stephens about her story, her healing, and her mission to help women deal with their father wounds. Kia is the founder of the Father Swap Blog as well as Entrusted Women, an online community to encourage, equip, and uplift writers, bloggers, speakers, and authors who happen to be women of color.

She is a wife and homeschooling mom of two who is passionate about helping women know God as Father. For this reason, she created The Father Swap Blog to help women exchange their father wounds for the love of God the Father.

During today's podcast, Kia will talk not only about the definition of a "father wound," but she explains how this kind of loss can wreck woman's emotions and relationships with men if unaddressed.

When a father isn't a part of a woman's life, that loss can have a painful and negative impact on her relationship with God. If you've struggled with God because of your relationship with your father, Kia will speak to that struggle. She will share how her relationship with God helps her to walk in freedom and healing as well as offer practical tips, like how to write a forgiveness letter.

One of my favorite parts of the episode is when Kia preaches scriptural truth to us, especially if you've felt unloved, rejected, unwanted, or alone, let her bless you with God's truth.

Do you know a woman that struggles with the pain that comes with not having a loving or attentive father in her life? Please make sure to share this podcast on your social media.

LINKS TO RESOURCES

 

About your Better Together podcast host...

Barb Roose is a popular speaker and author who is passionate about equipping women to win at life with Christ-empowered strength and dignity. Barb loves speaking at women's conference and leadership events such as the Aspire Women's Events, She Speaks Conference and the UMC Leadership Institute.

Barb is the author of multiple books and Bible studies, including her newest releases: Winning the Worry Battle: Life Lessons from the Book of Joshua and Bible study called Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle. Barb's writing has been featured in magazines or blogs such as Simple Truth Magazine, iBelieve.com, Crosswalk.com, More to Life Magazine, Just Between Us Magazine, Cherished, InCourage, and Women of Faith.

 An avid traveler, reader, and lover of all things chocolate-peanut butter, Barb and her family live in NW Ohio. Visit Barb's online home at barbroose.com.

Make it Your Best Year Ever!

Make it Your Best Year Ever!

by | Jan 5, 2019 | Reflections, Scripture Devotional, Women's Topics

Three Ways to Keep Your Heart and Life Turned Toward God 

 

Happy New Year friends! Are you ready for the start of a new year?  Let’s talk about what it means for us to have our BEST YEAR EVER! 

 Who doesn’t dream that this year can be better than last year? No matter our starting point, at the beginning of each year, we dream of whatever is missing to be found, whatever is broken to be fixed, and whatever has changed to feel like normal again. The difficulty is figuring out what we need to do in order to make that happen for us.  

Cue the New Year’s Resolution. Some are quick to hate on the idea of a New Year’s Resolution for a variety of reasons. But, all a New Year’s Resolution means is that someone wants to make something in her life better. A resolution isn’t a promise, nor is it a quick fix. In many ways, it’s a step away from denial toward a healthy truth that some part of life could or should be better than it is.   

One of the most popular New Year’s Resolutions that I heard while working on staff at my local church was “I want to get closer to God.” That’s a great New Year’s Resolution! 

Not only do I want to cheer you on, but I’d also like to offer a few ideas if you want to make this the best year ever when it comes to your faith.  

1. Stop feeling guilty!

Don’t let guilt be the biggest reason that you want to grow closer to God. Sure, you might have missed more church than planned or scrolled through Facebook more than your Bible.  But here’s the thing: Guilt might get you going, but it isn’t enough to get you to the goal. 

When we feel guilty about not connecting with God, that’s when we imagine that God is disappointed with us. Then we start trying to do things that we think will please God. But, when we falter, like miss church or forget to read our Bible then those guilty feelings come roaring back! Then, we might start easing our way as far away from God as possible. THAT IS the recipe for the worst year ever, not the best year ever. 

The path to the best year ever with God is to start with GRATITUDE. Each day, I take time and write down all of the big and little things that God has done for me. This means that I give thanks for the electric blanket that keeps me warm. I give thanks for the friend who met me for coffee and offered compassion, not judgment. I give thanks for God’s presence and provision as I navigate a heartbreaking relational trauma.    

The more that we give thanks to God for what He has done and how He takes care of us, the closer we will feel to God.  

2. Get Life-Giving Friends

If you want to have your best year ever, you won’t be able to do it on your own. You will need to have life-giving, like-minded people who love Jesus cheering you on and challenging you toward your best year ever.   

What does it mean to have life-giving Christians around you?   

  • They love Jesus and actually love ALL others (Mark 12:30).  
  • They don’t cut other people down for struggling with personal problems (Galatians 6:1-2) .
  • They are generous in giving their time and resources to others (1 Timothy 6:18).  
  • They live with hope (instead of negativity) (1 Peter 3:15).

The most important lesson is that we have to make room for these people in our lives. If you have too many negative people, even if they say that they are Christians, you will NEVER have your best year ever. The negative people won’t let you!  

How do you get away from negative, selfish people who suck the life out of you? You go out and fill your available time with life-giving people. You ask them out for coffee, make dinner plans, and join their Bible studies. The more your schedule is filled with life-giving people, the easier it will be for you to ease the life-sucking people out of your life.   

3. Pick a focus verse 

 Life is a roller coaster, isn’t it?  So, when my emotions are riding high or I’m feeling low, I need a way to steady my heart and mind so that I can make wise decisions that will honor my relationships and keep my heart and mind looking toward God.  

 For me, choosing a few verses to repeat over and over to myself is an important tool to stay strong and stable while my life still on a wild, difficult ride toward an unknown future. At the time I’m writing these words to you, I have no idea what my living situation or marital status will be in six months. But I know this, if I can hang onto God’s promises, then I can hang in through anything. 

Hanging onto God’s promises means that I tuck God’s Word into my heart and mind so that I can hear Him later when He’s trying to speak to me.  God uses His words to speak to us, so if you don’t feel like you’re hearing from God enough, perhaps it’s because you need to know more of what He’s saying. 

This year, one of these verses that I am focused on is Psalm 46:10: 

Be still and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world.  

Since this is a focus verse for me, I repeat it over and over again so that when I am in a situation where I’m anxious about the future or I want to control an outcome, then God will use His words to speak to me and calm me down.  

You can Google “popular Bible verses” and find one that fits your life. You can post on Facebook and ask people to share their favorite Bible verses if you feel too overwhelmed to find your own. 

It doesn’t matter if you choose the same verse as someone else. God will speak that verse back to you in a way that is personal and perfectly customized to whatever you are going through.  Each time you sense God bring that verse back up, you’ll feel loved, cared for and reminded about how much you matter to Him. 

And that is how you know that you’re living your best year ever!  

I’D LIKE TO HEAR FROM YOU! Which one of the three “best year ever” tips interests you the most? Do you have any other ideas to share? 

 

 

“My Survival List”: What got me through the most remarkable year of my life.

“My Survival List”: What got me through the most remarkable year of my life.

by | Dec 31, 2018 | Uncategorized

It's been the most remarkable year of my life.

At many points, 2018 felt like the worst year of my life. While some losses looked pretty rough on paper, there was more to this year than the number of tissues that I cried into. So, on this New Year's Eve, I'm taking stock on how I lived through a rocky ride around the sun.

The following list captures a snapshot of how God’s power, love, and provision carried me through the last 365 days. I can see how God empowered me to experience tremendous peace and accomplish more than I could have ever imagined, even as much of my life collapsed around me.

I'm grateful for the following hard-fought lessons. They are carved into my soul and I hope that they stay with me the rest of my life.

So, here’s my top 18 for 2018. This is from the list of 39 lessons that I wrote down in my journal yesterday:

1.  Life with God is a much better risk than doing life on my own terms.

2.  The day after a bad day is a new day, so I can always start again.

3.  Be kind at all times.

4.  I will cry when necessary and make no apologies.

5.  A long walk and a podcast will keep me from saying or doing things that I'll regret later.

6.  It's not my job to fix anyone.

7.  An unhurried life is a happier life.

8.  A good night’s sleep is a good thing every night, not every now and then.

9. Sometimes, doing hard things will make me cry. I will do those hard things anyways.

10. When I am emotionally healthy, toxic and unsafe people will avoid me.

11. I trust God’s love for me, even when my circumstances are tough.

12. Living with purpose heals emotional pain.

13. Forgiveness is a practice. I get better at it the more that I do it.

14. I will not judge my self-worth by the number on the bathroom scale.

15. Honest and healthy friendships leads to healing.

16. Experiences are much more satisfying than stuff.

17. Fasting one day a week increases my self-control.

18. When I stay in the present I worry less about the future.

18. The prayer that God answers is, “God, changI don’t know if you’ll find these helpful, but I figured that I’d share them anyway. Feel free to leave a comment below and let me know if any of these inspire you. Even better, write out your own list and share it with the people in your life!

One final note…Thank you for joining me on the wild ride of 2018! Whether you engaged with me on a blog post, attended one of my events, purchased one (or more) of my books, or completed one of my Bible studies, I’m grateful for you. Thank you for your love and support, friends!

If you want to ride along with me in 2019, drop your email address below for email delivery.

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