Barb’s Bible Journal: Romans 15:13

Barb’s Bible Journal: Romans 15:13

by | Feb 22, 2019 | Uncategorized

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed with sadness, anger, pain, or grief and those feelings are overflowing and messing up other areas of your life, I’m glad that you’re peeking into my Bible Journal. Here’s what I’ve learned from Romans 15:13: 

 I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. 

This verse is a blessing spoken by pastor named Paul to the believers in Rome. This is similar to the kind of blessing that your pastor might speak at the end of a sermon or message to the audience. 

In my journal, I drew a picture that looked like this: 

There are multiple visual images that came to mind as soon as I read the words. First, I loved the idea that God is our source of hope. This means that if God is our source of hope, then we never have to worry about running out of hope. No matter how bad a situation seems, how impossible a circumstance appears, or how much of a dead end we’ve run into, God never runs out of hope to give us. 

Consider the words “fill you completely with joy and peace.” Some of us were told that we were filled with something that’s probably inappropriate to mention here. Think of what you’ve been filled with lately. Anxiety? Anger? Sadness? 

When we’re filled with negative emotions, life will feel hopeless. But, Paul writes that God WILL fill us with joy and peace. What would it feel like to be filled with joy, which is an eternally uplifted heart?  What would it feel like to be filled with peace, which is a calm mind and spirit? I’m guessing that all of us would rather drain our anxiety, anger, or sadness to instead be filled with joy and peace. 

But how do we do it? 

Paul says that we are filled with joy and peace when we trust God. In fact, the amount of joy and peace we experience is directly correlated to how much we trust God.  

What’s the word that connects us to trusting God? Willingness.  

-Am I willing to let God lead in my circumstance? 

-Am I willing to be obedient to what God is calling me to do (or not do)? 

And when we trust God, hope flows out of our lives and into the lives of the people around us. Our world needs more hope! We put more hope into the world by letting God’s hope pour in us so that we can pour it out to others. 

Prayer from my journal: 

Dear God, I thank you that I do not have to live drained, depressed, or discouraged. I am grateful that I can live each day peaceful, joyful, and have more than enough hope to share with others. Amen. 

Share in the comments, how can you be willing to trust God today? 

When Helping Your Adult Kids is Actually Hurting Them

When Helping Your Adult Kids is Actually Hurting Them

by | Feb 9, 2019 | Christian Living/Discipleship, Women's Topics

How can we love our kids without robbing them of the important life lessons they need to learn?

I heard the long sigh in her voice.

Leah called me on a quiet Sunday afternoon because I saw her message on Facebook. It was something like “I’m so stressed I can’t stand it.” While I see those messages pretty frequently on social media, Leah wasn’t one to post something like that. So, I sent her an inbox and instead of writing me back, she gave me a call.

Turns out, Leah’s adult children were in the middle of crisis and Leah was overwhelmed with worry- among other things. Her 20-something daughter was pregnant and her son’s youthful irresponsibility turned into legal trouble, including a warrant for his arrest.

As a single mom, Leah spent her life working hard to provide a good life for her kids. She admitted that single-mom guilt propelled her to jump in and help her kids out whenever they asked. While she’d been an amazing single mom, Leah felt like she let her kids down by not having a dad in their lives. So, even though they were adults, Leah would slip them money to cover funding gaps in car payments, to keep cell phones from getting shut off or allow the kids to live with her when they were between jobs.

But all of that stress of caring for adults who should be caring for themselves exacted a toll on Leah. She felt stressed because they were desperate for her money, but not to correct the behaviors that created the situation. Leah would help them, hoping that it would be “just this time” and then feel crushed when the same situation would repeat itself later.

If you’ve been worn out by worrying about your adult kids, I’d like to introduce you to the Sort-It-Out tool from my Winning the Worry Battle book. This tool offers four questions to help you determine how you can show love and concern for your adult kids without letting their problems or worries wear YOU out.

So, when an adult child comes and asks for financial help, a place to stay, or for you to get involved with a conflict with another person, ask yourself these questions:

SORT-IT-OUT TOOL:

  1. Am I legally responsible? (Legal status)
  2. Is my adult child asking for support in an improving situation or for rescue from a self-inflicted AND declining situation. (improving)
  3. Does my adult child have a track record of irresponsible decisions? (track record)
  4. Will my assistance build my child’s self-reliance or make him or her more dependent in the future? (enabling)

I know that your situation is likely complex. For years, I’ve had to use this tool to deal with an addiction issue in my household. It’s tough! There are no easy answers and it’s not my role to tell you what to do. My hope is to help you see where your helping has the potential to hurt you both. It’s hurting your adult child because instead of allowing the consequences of his or her circumstances to push them toward God, you might be the one getting in the way of them asking God for help.

If you determine that it would not be healthy or helpful to bail your adult child out, here are some things that you can say:

  • I’m so sorry that you are going through this, but I am unable to help you.
  • This is so hard! Can I help you put together a plan that you can use to deal with this problem? (Only if you can plan without taking over responsibility!)
  • I know that you can figure this out. Keep me posted on how you are doing.

 Yes, it feels bad saying no to helping someone, but remember, you aren’t saying that the individual isn’t worthy of help, only that you choose not to get in the way of God doing His work in their lives.

 

Comments: Has there been a  time when you have been able to say "no" to someone when you really wanted to help them?

Which door would you choose?

Which door would you choose?

by | Feb 1, 2019 | Uncategorized

This is one of my most favorite videos ever! 

Here's what happened with the Dove Campaign set up as an experiment at shopping areas in different cities around the world. Women had to choose which door they would walk through. This powerful video captures not only their choices, but some of their comments as well. If you've ever struggled with how you see yourself, please take a few minutes and watch!

Did you change your mind after watching the video?

Over the years, I've noticed that Christian women loathe to admit that they have "an ugly struggle with beauty." For some reason, we think that God only cares about our hearts, but we forget that He created our bodies as well. When we call ourselves "fat," "ugly," or "not enough," God cares about that pain in our lives as well.

If you've been struggling with what you see in the mirror, God has a lot of beautiful truth that YOU need to know! Check out my Beautiful Already Bible Study. Click the photo to find out more!

I have facilitated this wonderful study for 4 groups of women, and it is LIFE CHANGING! Great for all ages of women including teen girls!

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April 2017

Will Losing 25 Pounds Really Make You Happy?

Will Losing 25 Pounds Really Make You Happy?

by | Jan 25, 2019 | Uncategorized

Focus on these three things to equip you to love yourself, no matter how much you weigh.

Can I ask you an important question about your bathroom scale. No, I’m not going to ask how much you weigh. Rather, a more sensitive question.  But, I just have to ask it. Ready? Here it is: When did your bathroom scale get to be in charge of how you feel about yourself?

Think about it. Your bathroom scale just lies on the floor day after day. It doesn’t help you pay the bills and it definitely doesn’t clean toilets. It’s just laying on the floor not bothering anybody.  Yet it’s large and in charge of how you feel about yourself.

Perhaps you’re thinking, “Barb, that scale isn’t bossing me around. Back off.”

 

Does your scale prompt you to either celebrate or criticize yourself?

Does you scale control what you will or won’t wear?

Does your scale influence how confident you feel when interacting with others?

 

If you answered yes to one or more of those questions, you are totally not alone. I’ll bet you five cookies and a quart of ice cream that you’re beating yourself up for gaining weight during the holiday season. (Anyone out there postponing a doctor’s visits until you have a chance to work off those Christmas cookies?)

 How did our scales gain such control of how we see ourselves?

The easy answer is that we live in a culture that believes the lower the number on the scale, the more acceptable we are. And this is true of Christian women, who pretend not to care, but really do.

The real answer is that every woman, regardless of her age, struggle at some level with what I call our “ugly struggle with beauty.” The core of this struggle isn’t about the number on the scale or the size that we wear. Ladies, our struggle is because we’re losing the battle to hold onto our God-given identity in a world that wants us to believe that beauty is a prize that only a few women can claim.

Compounding this problem is that far too many Christian women think that it is unspiritual to talk about our physical bodies, our size, our shape, or our style. Christian women dropped out of the culture’s conversation about beauty. God owns beauty!  He is the Creator of beauty, not us.  Not celebrities. Not Instagram. Not Snapchat filters (even though they are pretty amazing)!

 As God’s daughters and ambassadors, we need to be in charge!

In the world today when our young daughters and granddaughters are literally dying over their ugly struggle, we need to talk about inner and outer beauty MORE, not less! That’s why I wrote my Beautiful Already Bible Study because I want to help Christian women who love Jesus, but hate their bodies.

We are so much more than a number we see on our bathroom scale!   

The battle is learning to see ourselves – both inside AND out -  through God’s eyes.

If we know who God is, then we’ll have the right perspective on ourselves.

Let’s start with this cornerstone of truth: Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. –Matthew 6:33 

Notice the first part of the verse: Seek God first.

When we seek God first, that means we take our eyes off ourselves. This means that I subject my opinions and beliefs about my body through the filter of God’s truth. Our tendency is to look at our bodies through our past, our failures, and our comparisons to other women.

Seeking God’s kingdom above all else is an invitation to leave our prisons of judgment and shame for a place of freedom and hope!

So, what does this practically look like for us when we’re about to hop on the bathroom scale? 

Here are three God-honoring truths to keep in mind when you’re tempted to let the numbers on the scales dictate your value as a woman.  By the way, I share my weight pretty regularly when I talk to women and I’ll share it at the bottom of this post.

 

1. See the GOODNESS

Even though you may not like the number on the scale, or the size or shape of one of your body parts, focus on the idea that those parts were created for you by God. Remember, everything that God made fits His definition of Goodness. We need to proclaim that goodness and adopt God’s truth rather than our own.

Say this: God, thank you for my body, crafted by your all-powerful, creative hands. Genesis 1:31 says that You have made all things good, including me. I reject any whispers that I am unworthy because of the number on the scale and choose to focus on your truth. Amen.

 

2. See the BLESSING

Our bodies don’t have to be the world’s version of perfect for us to give God thanks for it. When’s the last time that you thanked God for the parts of you that are a little fluffier, saggy, or more flabby than you’d like?

God, you’ve blessed me with this body. The number on the scale is just a number, but it doesn’t compare to the beautiful, valuable creation that You’ve made me to be. Amen.

 

3. See the PURPOSE

Each part of our body has a God-defined purpose. We don’t have to overthink this one, but we can easily condemn our hips, stomachs, sagging arms, or thighs. We are all unique creations and God has a specific purpose for us. He wants to use YOU to bring value to others that far exceeds anything that you could ever ask or imagine.

God, it is so easy for me to say mean things about my body or weight. Instead, I must see my body as a tool that you want to use to make a difference in someone’s life. Amen.

 

What’s our reward?

Our reward is that we learn to experience the joy that comes from seeing God’s goodness, bless and purpose for the body that He has given to us. Isn’t that a lot better than beating ourselves up, pulling on a pair of yoga pants, and binging on old Christmas cookies?

And if you’re not able to see yourself as God sees you get…

That’s okay. It’s okay not to be okay. But, God doesn’t want you to stay that way. Might I suggest saying at least one of those prayers daily for a week. Be willing to let God work in your heart.

 

And my weight…

And what some of you have been “weighting” for – ha! My weight is 178 pounds. It’s just a number and determines nothing about my value as a beautiful daughter of God.

 

COMMENT: Do you feel like you can win your ugly struggle with your bathroom scale? What would it take for you to love yourself as God loves you – no matter your weight?

When Heaven Holds Your Babies | Kaila Mugford

When Heaven Holds Your Babies | Kaila Mugford

by | Jan 25, 2019 | Uncategorized

"Hope is knowing that one day I will hold my babies in heaven." -Kaila Mugford

Today's episode is one of the most powerful and emotional conversations that I've ever had on the Better Together podcast.

I'm talking with my brave and courageous friend, Kaila Mugford about her journey as a mother with two children living with her on earth and two precious little boys in heaven. If you or a friend has suffered a miscarriage or infant loss, Kaila's speaks with bare honesty and vulnerability about her complicated feelings about God, faith, others' advice, and how to stand by friends who suffer a miscarriage or infant loss. After you listen to today's episode, please share it with a grieving friend and let her know that you love her.

Kaila blogs about her family's grief and the loss of two children at kailamugford.blogspot.com. Writing is healing for her, and she hopes that her words can bring comfort to others grieving too.

 

LINKS FROM TODAY'S SHOW:

Kaila's blog

Still Standing Magazine

 

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