by Barb Roose | May 20, 2014 | Uncategorized
Kerry, Lauren, Angel and Barb
It is always a joy for Lauren and I to host the Fabulous Women’s Conference. Each year, we pray that God uses this two day event to encourage, inspire and bless women. Congratulations to YOU for taking the time to care for yourself spiritually, emotionally, relationally and socially. We hope that your Fabulous Conference experience resonates in your heart, mind and spirit for many months to come!
One of the best parts about the Fabulous Conference is having an opportunity to share with you on Friday afternoon. Of course, this year we had the extra added bonus of the “tunic” conversation. My apologies for introducing an awkward dialogue about ancient warriors, their tunics (dresses for men) and the dangers of a tunic that flies around. (Never has one of my message illustrations slid of the tracks so unexpectedly and completely.) For all of my experience as a speaker, there was nothing I could do to save that part of my message. But, we shared a tremendous laugh over it. #nomoretunictalk (By the way, if you missed that talk or if you would like to laugh at me again, here’s the video:
Whenever I have a talk, there are always a few things I don’t have time to share. So, I thought I’d create this post-conference piece – hoping that you get a chance to reconnect with the conference and that God will use it to make you stronger.
Let’s start with reflecting on the big idea of my talk: STRONG women STAND TALL on God’s Truth.
I introduced this statement during my talk because I wanted to paint a picture of the kind of woman we want to be (STRONG) and how we can become that woman (STANDING TALL ON GOD’S TRUTH). But, we can’t stand tall unless we have strong roots.
Our 2014 Fabulous Conference theme!
Question #1: How are your roots? No, I’m not talking about your real hair color. That’s a secret between you, your hair dresser and your checkbook. We’re talking about your spiritual roots. How are those roots doing?
For some of you, determining your current spiritual strength is a question you try to avoid. Why? It’s too tough a question most days when you’re just trying to make through each day. For women, life feels mostly about “doing” instead of “being.” Reflection is hard – and heartbreaking, so often we try to avoid it. Especially if your life is going AWESOME! Then, you definitely don’t want to think about spiritual matters, because you don’t want to rock the boat or jinx yourself.
Question #2: Is there a filter to assess the condition of your current spiritual roots?
You bet! If strong roots coming from standing on God’s truth, then we must use God’s standards to help us determine what strength looks like. So, here’s something for you to consider: When your lives duplicates what God loves and values, then you will be strong.
Here is a snapshot of what God loves and values:
But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. -Galatians 5:22-23 (New Living Translation)
This verse gives us the picture of what God wants to duplicate in our lives. Most importantly, this verse lets us know that we will need God’s help in developing these qualities in our lives. Sure, you can be loving, but the quality of love God wants to pour into you is so much better than the kind of love that you have to offer. The same goes for the other qualities.
We might have made it difficult to have self-control on Thursday night. The food was FABULOUS!
Furthermore, God doesn’t just want to replicate one or two of those qualities in your life. He won’t let you settle for having joy and kindness, but giving you a pass on developing peace or patience. My dear friends, God wants to reproduce ALL of those qualities in YOUR life. Let’s take a moment and self-assess how you are doing:
1. Look at the list of character qualities (love, joy, peace, etc.). On a scale of 1 (not at all) to 10 (overflowing) would you rank each of those character qualities in your life?
2. For any quality that you’ve ranked 5 or less, what impact is that having on your life? Is there a correlation to a difficult circumstance you are experiencing and that low-ranking area?
3. How would you be stronger if one or more of those character qualities were amplified in your life?
For me, patience seems to always hover around 5 or 6 – but trust me, I’m doing much better! My problem is that I want what I want when I want it. But, God wants me to have strong roots, so I seem to navigate many situations in life where I am confronted with opportunities to develop the kind of patience that God loves and values. I have plenty of examples of where God has allowed my circumstances to make me stronger by allowing me to grow through those circumstances.
What about you? Is there a situation where you feel weak, but thinking that God could use that same situation to make you stronger in one of the areas outlined in Galatians 5:22-23?
Talk back time! Tell us about where you need God to work in your life to make you stronger. Do you need to be more loving, joyful, patient, faithful, kind, etc.?
Stay tuned! In Part II, I’m going to revisit the idea of “GPS Verses.” This practical tip is a great way to help you develop stronger spiritual roots!
Finally, if you haven’t done so, we’d love to get your feedback about this year’s Fabulous Conference. Click Here to take our 2014 Fabulous Conference survey.
by Barb Roose | May 16, 2014 | Reflections
Is there ONE thing that your kids need more than anything else? Okay, other than Jesus. Yes, I believe that all kids need Jesus. You do, too. But, outside of a relationship with Christ, what else does your child need in order to succeed in life?
In a word: RESOURCEFULNESS
When my oldest daughter got her driver’s license, that was my cue to stop taking my kids school shopping. (It wasn’t like that task was on my top 10 exciting tasks of the year.) At that point I realized that I had three smart kids that could do basic math and one of those kids could drive the other two. So, I tossed my oldest daughter my debit card and wished my little Roosters success on their school shopping mission.
As I stood in the door and watch them drive away, not knowing if they would do it right or if they would screw it up. I just knew that they needed to do this on their own.
Did they shop differently than I would have? Yep. But, that’s okay. They loved the freedom to make their own decisions and they gained confidence in accomplishing something really important.
Years later, my girls are used to school shopping on their own. In fact, my youngest daughter shopped by herself with confidence because she’s been doing it for years. Pretty cool.
Many years ago, I was a helicopter parent. I wanted my girls to be well-prepared and well-protected in this crazy, tricky world. I figured that since I could see danger or difficulty miles down the road, it was my job to steer my kids away from any and all bad decisions, mishaps and mistakes. That’s what good mamas do, right?
Then, one day I envisioned myself as a 70-year old woman with three 40-50 year old daughters asking me if they should pack peanut butter or turkey sandwiches for lunch. At that point, I realized it was time for a change. I had to land that helicopter on the ground and get out! It took a few years (and some professional therapy) to let go of my helicopter-mama ways. It was a struggle – but my girls’ lives depended on it!
My daughters needed to develop resourcefulness and it could only be developed if their well-meaning mama wasn’t getting in the way. Simply put, resourcefulness is the ability to “figure it out.”
How young is too young to start learning…
At today’s Leadership Summit, Bill Hybels shared how his father dropped him off 30+ miles away from a certain destination instructions to finish the journey. Bill was given two pieces of advice: “Figure it out” and “Don’t call me.”
He was 11 years old at the time.
(Okay, that might be shade too young.)
Here are a few ideas to help your school-aged kids develop resourcefulness:
1. Let them “practice” their way to proficiency…If we ever want our kids to get good at something, then we need to let them be bad at it and give them the blessed opportunity to get better.
For a long time, I didn’t want to put up with the hassle of not-so-great-dinners cooked by the kids. Yet, cooking is an important life skill. Therefore, I need to give the girls a chance to do it and practice their way from crispy nightmare to culinary delight. It takes time and patience on our end at the beginning, but the payoff for our kids lasts a lifetime!
By the way, cooking is a great exercise to build start your kids toward resourcefulness. Recipes and measurements can be tricky, so kids can get practice learning how to balance time management and problem-solve.
2. Let kids experience the “natural” consequences of their behavior…Failure is a great teaching tool for resourcefulness. If they forget, oversleep, procrastinate, break, lose or generally mess up, let your kids dig themselves out of the hole. Let them figure out how to raise the funds, repair the damage, make the apology – don’t be too quick to step in and smooth things over.
Avoid fixing your kid’s mistakes to maintain your image. That’s just asking for your kids to be dependent on you in the future. Coach your kids, don’t allow them coast.
Here’s a question that you might ponder: “Am I shaping my kid’s heart and mind or just trying to make my life easier?”
3. Refuse to be your kids’ Google…If your kids have questions about where things are located, how much things cost or how to spell something, don’t tell them. Can they read? Good! Then they can pull out whatever electronic device is in their pocket and figure out the answer. Will they whine? Yes. Will they fake helplessness? You bet. Ignore them and smile because you’re doing them a favor.
Find out more about the 2015 Leadership Summit at willowcreek.com. If you attend CedarCreek Church, check out CedarCreek.tv/summit for special pricing.
by Barb Roose | May 8, 2014 | Reflections
When I was growing up, I thought my grandmother was magical. Of course, I had a pretty low threshold for what constituted magic, so Grandma surpassed it every single time. If we are lucky, the word “grandma” means big hugs and kisses, softness and smiles, but most of all, just a great big ‘ole dose of love. And Grandma’s love was the most magical of all.
We lived in one apartment complex on the outer edge of town and Grandma lived in the apartment complex next to us for many years. In my mind’s eye, I can still see Grandma standing in the open doorway with a big smile on her face and open arms. I see her short, round frame with knees bent slightly to absorb the full-force of my lanky child body. Her middle was soft and she smelled like perfume and Crisco. Future grandmas take note: You should always smell like something good in the kitchen. Your grandkids will like that.
On long summer days, we’d try to stay cool and Grandma always had cold watermelon slices – I could eat as many as I wanted. One summer day, Grandma let me eat the entire watermelon. I stopped eating watermelon after that. Grandma felt bad and started buying Icies instead.
Over the next 30 years, I grew up, moved away, went to college, got married, had two babies – and then one more. Grandma would come visit every two or three months. In the last six or seven years of her life, we would talk on the phone a few days a week and always on Fridays. During our Friday talks, I cleaned the house as we chatted about politics, Medicare, cars, kids, etc. At the end of every phone conversation, Grandma would say, “I love you, Barb.” I would reply, “I love you, too.” And then she would say, “Barbara, I love you.”
I was 37 years old when my grandmother passed away in January 2009. In the 18 months before she got sick and declined quickly, Grandma went on what I’d like to call her “Going Away Tour.” She visited friends and family in different states and we even went on a few “girls only” trips together. Our last trip was to an amusement park called “Kennywood” in Pennyslvania. We spent two days hopelessly lost in some forsaken little town and laughing non-stop over all of our wrong turns. If I had $1 for every time we heard “recalculating,” Grandma and I would have been able to buy matching Louboutins. (She loved high heels, too!)
Six weeks later, Grandma got sick and life began to blur. The doctors diagnosed her with pancreatic cancer and I promised myself not to cry until she died. Instead, I cried most every day.
A few quick months later, it was the end of our time with Grandma on this side of heaven. But, not the end for her. Magnolia Wells entered into the grandest beginning of everlasting life in heaven. As much as she loved us, we know Grandma wouldn’t trade out heaven for all the kisses and hugs in the world. And I know she was able to leave this earth with the peace in knowing we’ll see her again one day.
A few days after Grandma’s funeral, my mom and I were on the phone. At the end of the conversation Mom said, “I love you, Barb.” I replied, “I love you, too.” Then, Mom took a breath and began to carry on Grandma’s good-bye tradition and whispered one more “I love you.” A tradition she carries on today, five years later.
After Grandma died, I was lucky enough to keep two things that remind me of her life: her Red Door perfume and her handwritten German Chocolate Cake recipe. Two bottles of Red Door sit on my dresser. Once or twice a year, I take off the cap and take a sniff. One whiff of that fragrance and Grandma memories flood my heart and mind. I am magically transported back to the moments in her presence that blessed my life in so many ways.
The copy of her German chocolate cake recipe is tucked away in my kitchen. Looking at her loopy handwriting warms my heart with some great memories. Like the time when I was a ten-year old girl learning how to make Grandma’s famed cake. That day, I learned how to separate eggs and Grandma let me stir the pecan frosting. It was so hard waiting for the frosting to cool. But, the moment finally arrived! Grandma frosted the cake and then looked at me with a smile. She slid the near empty frosting bowl in front of me with grin and a warning: “Don’t eat too much. You’ll get the runs.”
(One day, I’ll have to tell you about the time Grandma plucked off her eyebrows and drew them back on navy blue…)
Do you have a Mother’s Day tribute that you’d like to share? We’d love to read it!
by Barb Roose | Apr 28, 2014 | Uncategorized
Doug during his first video interview for my weekend message.
We love sharing life change stories each weekend at CedarCreek. Since it’s not possible to measure life transformation by objective means, stories are a powerful way to communicate heart change.
I loved being able to share my cousin, Doug’s life change story with you. Many of you sent me notes or messages about how much his story meant to you or someone in your life. Doug’s prayer was that God could use his story to bless others – and I love watching that answer that prayer rain down on the lives of many of you.
There’s a lot more to Doug’s story and I asked him for permission to share some additional parts of his story that we couldn’t fit into the video.
In your story this weekend, you mentioned growing up in a wonderful Christian family. But, you began to struggle during your teen years. At what point did you start to move away from your faith?
Original creation by my friend, Shirley Yee. I met Shirley a few years ago at a conference and Facebook keeps us in touch!
I was pretty good kid growing up. I was definitely a boy. It wasn’t until I entered middle school when the problems really started. Being a Christian and in Public Schools can be and was a huge challenge for me. All the different kinds of peer pressure and picking out the” cool” kids to accept you. I chose the outsiders or as society called us” rejects”.
Got to the point I no longer wanted to attend church or be around people from church. I turned cold and my parents pretty much had to force me to go.
I started to experiment with drugs and alcohol. Started fighting all the time, going to parties and just going against all I believed. I’d like to blame it on the peer pressure, but I liked it. I found it much different and exciting. I felt like I was someone. I didn’t want to be in the world and not be apart of the excitement. I started doubting my own faith and everything I believed in. I was no longer the good Christian child that my parents raised me to be. Eventually I calmed down a little, but still smoked a little pot and drank beer.
During the video, we heard you explain your anger over your parents divorcing and how that anger led you to joining a hate group. What impact did that association have on you?
I was walking around fighting everyone. I didn’t care about anyone. It was all about me. And, my relationship with my family fell apart, too. No one wanted to be around me.
We didn’t have time to talk about this during the video, but how did you end up going to prison?
Created by Shirley Yee
Even though I was very cold hearted towards pretty much everyone I cared a lot for my friends. I would do anything for them. A friend came to me and was in pain. Said that his girlfriend was cheating on him and wanted him to learn his lesson. After a week or so of contemplating I had the perfect plan. Called my friend and he gave me the address. After a night of drinking and doing drugs another friend and I drove over to this guy’s house.
I snuck out of my car, ran around the house and poured gasoline on the side of the house and I lit it up. Now, this whole time I never once considered the consequences of what I was doing or the outcome. This happened when right after my 18th birthday. When I was 19 the law caught up with me. The so called friend that was with me had gotten arrested for statutory rape. To lesson his sentence he told them about me setting fire to that house. After some investigating they decided to arrest me for questioning. They had told me that the couple in the house had a baby and their dog woke them up. If not for their dog things could have been much worse. To make things more complemented the friend who gave me the address, gave me the wrong address on purpose then he also turned me in. I had this sense of embarrassment, guilt, shame, worthlessness, instant depression and suicidal thoughts.
I confessed to everything and a year later I was in prison. Before going to prison though I went through some counseling and got to the core of my actual problem. I was upset about my parents divorce and instead of dealing with that I ignored it and it turned into so much more.
Things were tough for you during the early days of prison. What happened?
Created by Shirley Yee
I blamed God for everything. This was God’s fault and I didn’t want anything to do with him. I remember my first day in prison. I got beat like there was no tomorrow. I fought back, but couldn’t defend myself. I wasn’t allowed any phone calls or visitations for the first few weeks of being there.
I ran into a man who’s name was Satan. I spent a lot of time talking to him. We talked about our others’ past, futures, religions, everything. He brought it to my attention that I was brainwashed by these people who thought they were better then everyone else. I was taught to hate for the wrong reasons, and surprisingly enough this guy taught me how to love again. He never once talked me down for my religion. He allowed me to talk freely. And it was at that point that it hit me. God didn’t put me here, God didn’t want me to take the path I took. He gave me a way out, I was just not accepting his answer. It was kind of ironic how a man named Satan bought me back to Christ.
How did your life start to change once you reconnected with Christ?
I read my bible on a daily basis and went to church services. I never once had any issues with any other inmates. God protected me when I needed him most. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to see the worth in yourself and to see what your worth to Jesus. He died for my sins upon that cross. He knew everything I was ever going to do and he still died for me. He didn’t only die, but he conquered the grave.
The last part of your video brings tears to my eyes every time. I’m so happy for you! What is the best part about how God has transformed you?
My life today is a blessing. I’m so happy to be where I am and growing everyday in Christ. He has truly transformed my life. I have a deeper love for people and I can honestly look past their sins and still love them. God gave me that ability because I was once in their shoes. I still have my struggles just like everyone else does. Nobody is perfect. I have reason to stay on the straight and narrow.
God took my hatred, my worthlessness, my depression, my guilt and shame. He gave me peace, love, happiness, a great fiancé who loves Jesus just as much as I do. He gave me a great church.
If there is one thing I want to do with my life is for my story to touch someone’s heart and say, yes there is still hope. I’m more sensitive to people’s needs. My friends today would never ask anything of me that would harm me. I’ve got good Christian friends. God has given me the strength to make it every day and claim he is God. He has renewed me and made me a new person. I am so grateful for what he has done in my life. I still look back on my past, but instead of feeling that shame I thank God. I had to go through what I did to see his true love. No matter how bad I was he still protected me. He had his hands in everything. I’m so grateful for my past because it’s turned me into who I am today. Today, I am a Christian, today I am God’s child. Today, I have the strength to stand up for my beliefs.
Did Doug’s story inspire you? How were you encouraged to believe that God could transform your life? Leave us a comment – I know Doug would love to hear from you! Feel free to share this post with anyone who might be encouraged by it.
By the way, your “Transformed” journey continues this weekend at CedarCreek Church. Jason Tucker will be talking about how we can be “Transformed Spiritually.” We all want to be closer to God – and when we allow more of God in our lives, He transforms those painful, broken, fearful places inside of us. Join us! Saturday at 5:15pm/7pm and Sunday at 9/10:45am and 12:30pm.
by Barb Roose | Apr 18, 2014 | Reflections
Recently, I met my friend, Lisa, for lunch. It was a snowy day (so it could have been this past Tuesday, right?)
Anywhoo, Lisa and I arranged to meet at a little café about 30 minutes away from my office. It’s the kind of cute cafe that’s too quaint to show up on a GPS, so I drove past it a few times before I realized I had actually arrived.
Whenever womenfolk have lunch, we follow one of two strategies:
Lunch Strategy#1: The “Let’s celebrate and therefore eat whatever we want” strategy. This means that we’ll enjoy pasta, bread, butter and EVERYONE GETS dessert. #favorite
Lunch Strategy #2: The “Oh, I’m watching my weight” strategy. This means salad or a fruit bowl and sadly, no dessert.
Lisa and I rolled with option #2, but we had a great time anyways. When I checked my watch, I realized that it was time to scoot off for my next meeting. We hastily exchanged goodbyes and I fast-girly walked out of the café over an icy path to my car in 3″ heels.
Two hours later, I finished the next meeting and stopped for gas. When I opened my wallet, there was a $10 bill inside. It shouldn’t have been there because I had gone to lunch. Then, it hit me:
I SKIPPED OUT OF THE RESTAURANT WITHOUT PAYING FOR MY LUNCH!
I dined and dashed. Oh, no! Me? Yes! Of course, it was an accident, but I was a dine-and-dasher, just the same. Oh, shame, shame, shame on me!
In my mind’s eye, I could see the shocked look on that restaurant server’s face when a tall black woman in cute, heeled boots hightailed it up out of her small town café without paying for her lunch salad sans the dessert.
Shame on me…
Not to mention that the same tall black woman in the cute, heeled boots IS ALSO A PASTOR. And, for the record, pastors really should not dine-and-dash. It shouldn’t be a thing for anyone, but especially not pastors. It’s like #14 on the list of things pastors shouldn’t do, like right before “wear men’s skinny jeans.”
I tried calling the café from my car, but couldn’t get through. I thought it was because the café owner was on the phone with the police giving them a description of yours truly. At each stop light on the way back to the office, I practiced my mug shot face in the rearview mirror in case somehow I ended up on the news.
“Tonight on 13abc, local area pastor dine-and-dashes in 3″ heels. Full story at 6.”
On my third call, someone at the café picked up the phone. I blurted out my name and bumbled my way through a rambling, overly profuse apology. The woman on the other line was kind and gracious. When I finished making the messiest apology EVER, she laughed and replied, “Don’t worry it happens all of the time. Most people are honest and just drop off the money later.”
I couldn’t believe that instead of reading me the riot act and calling the police, the café lady excepted my apology and wished me a good day. (My friend, Tina, lives near the café so the next morning, she dropped off my payment, tip and another apology note.)
When I receive “good” but I deserve “bad”…
As a fugitive dine-and-dasher, I could have been tracked down and possibly arrested. And I would have deserved it.
Instead, the café owner forgave my offense. And in that moment, I was reminded of the principle of grace:
Grace is when we receive “good” even though we deserve “bad.”
God is in the “grace” business. He wants to give us what we don’t deserve. God wants to give us Himself, complete with access to His divine forgiveness, love, purpose, hope and power.
But, some are afraid to come close to Him: “Oh, I know that God says that He loves me, but look at my life. Look at the mistakes I’ve made.”
So, we try to fix ourselves. Must try to be a better person! We think God is a cosmic bean counter, so we can’t believe that God wants to give us “good” because we know that we deserve bad. How often have we tried to earn God’s goodness?
Here’s the truth: We can’t fix ourselves. We’re messed up at a level so deep that only God do anything about it.
So, what you and I need is GRACE. Grace is the very best of all good things.
Today is Good Friday. For many, it’s a religious day of observation or obligation. We’ll sit in church or see the photos of Jesus being beaten and crucified on this holy day. Whips, fists, blood, nails, cross. So many violent images – and while we may flinch in the moment, does the realization of this event impact our heart and lives? Did we forget that it is by his wounds that we are healed?
Jesus is our access to God’s grace…
Jesus came to give us “good” even though we deserve “bad” (photo credit: swordsoftruth.files.wordpress.com)
The simple truth is that God sent Christ to pay the cost for our sinfulness and instead of punishment, we received the free gift grace.
Doesn’t matter who you are. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done.
My friends, avoid being like the “good people” who deny their desperate need for God. Remember, the good (religious) people were the ones screaming “Crucify him” on a Friday long ago. God’s lavish grace is for those of us who realize that we can never be good enough. This divine grace extends especially to those who don’t think that forgiveness is possible. Hear this: No matter who you are or what you’ve done, God’s grace through Christ is a free gift for you.
So, I’m going to go out on a limb here and close with the simple prayer for those of you who want to experience God’s grace for yourself. If this is the true intention of your heart, then pray this prayer:
Dear God, forgive me for living my life apart from You. Today, I want to live out the rest of my life connected to You. I accept your free gift of grace made possible through Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection. I invite you to come into my heart and life. Help me to learn what it means to trust you and follow you all of the days of my life. Amen.
If you prayed that prayer…
Great! While you might not have seen fireworks, heard angels or felt all tingly inside, your life – and eternity – have been forever changed! I’d love you to send me an email or you can CLICK HERE and you can receive a free New Testament (click on “Request Packet”) and some other materials to help you understand what it means to have a relationship with God.
Happy Good Friday everyone!
If you don’t have a place to attend church on Easter, you’re welcome to watch LIVE online at www.cedarcreek.tv/live
Times: Friday – 5:15pm/7pm; Saturday – 3:30pm/5:15pm/7pm; Sunday 9am, 10:45am and 12:30pm
