by Barb Roose | May 2, 2016 | Christian Living/Discipleship, Scripture Devotional, Women's Topics
Last week, someone posted a message to me on Facebook. I think that it was a misunderstanding, but when I read the message, I went “WHOA! What’s THIS?!” My eyes got real big and I re-read the message from a fellow believer. Someone who loved Jesus just like I do. However, the words I read felt like a slap across my face. And I got mad!
My first thought was: Oh-no-you-did-n’t!
Fast as lightening, I started typing back. My fingers flew over my keyboard as I clicked out a polite, yet sharp rebuttal. My heart felt like she did me wrong and I wanted to show her who was right!
The more I typed, the more I got more riled up. As I paused to read my brilliant response, I felt my spirit stir. I believe that it was the Holy Spirit that whispered, Stop. Delete.
Umm, I’ve got some good stuff here.
Delete.
I sighed and clicked delete. I sat and stewed in my hurt. Then, I tried to come up with another way around the Spirit’s leading. No dice. So, I bravely engaged in a little rumble with myself. If you’ve read Brene Brown’s Rising Strong, she talks about having the courage to “rumble” with difficult emotions. My rumble revealed that my pride was hurt. Simple as that. I was offended and I wanted to strike back.
The old saying remains the same: Two wrongs don’t make a right. If I would have sent that note, I wouldn’t have sent it the note in love. I would have sent it to prove that I was right.
(And if I proved that I was right, maybe my feelings wouldn’t be so hurt.)
Striking back just strikes another match by the gas can. How many relationships have we blown up over hurt feelings or hurt pride?
So, I had to sit there in my discomfort and let the bad feelings pass. Man, that was hard. Later, I sent a different response, thanking the individual for the comment and suggestion. It was hard, but God is ALWAYS teaching me humility!
The greatest commodity that we have is LOVE. It’s the currency that God requires us to share with the world. The coins of God’s love are kindness, respect and generosity. That’s why the following scripture is so powerful:
If someone says, "I love God" but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don't love the people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?' -1 John 4:20
The Greek word “hate” in this verse is miseo, which means to detest or love less. Yikes! Love is the one way that we can show the world that we are different. These days, Christians are working so hard to show the world that they are right, but we struggle to love toward each other.
Friends, if we mess this up, we might as cancel weekend services, shut up and go home.
While there’s a lot of things happening in our culture that swing far from God’s intentions, why do we think the world will be attracted to the gospel if we can’t be kind to each other? I know that the recent Target news is shocking, but ask yourself whether or not your posts and comments build a bridge for the gospel or put up barriers? When believers are fighting with each other, unbelievers see it and shake their heads. How can our world believe that God’s love can transform them if they can’t see the evidence in us?
Practically speaking, how do we do this? Here’s a verse that I’ve been meditating on a lot lately:
"Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry." -James 1:9
Question: Who’s usually quick to speak and slow to listen? (You should know that my hand is in the air…)
I’m not always a great listener and I can be Usain Bolt-fast with a reply. Yet, to love people means that I need to HEAR their words and hear their heart. How about you? How does this verse challenge you today?
So a quick temperature check for all of us:
Is there another believer that you need to forgive?
Is there another believer that you need to call and apologize to for something you’ve said?
Is there another believer that you need to reach out and help because he or she needs it?
How can you love others better today?
by Barb Roose | Feb 10, 2016 | Christian Living/Discipleship, Scripture Devotional
Here’s a question that I’ve been asked many times over the years, but I’ve never had an answer for it:
“What are you giving up for Lent?”
To tell you the truth, I’ve never celebrated Lent. I grew up in the Baptist (meaning black Baptist – the clapping, shouting and gospel wing of the Baptist folks). My family also spent a few years in a Pentacostal church, too. In short, I grew up “Bapti-cost.”
In fact, I didn’t know anything about Lent until I attended junior high school. Classmates would disappear mid-morning on some random Wednesday in February. Now, during my growing years, the pastors talked A LOT about the rapture. Anytime I couldn’t find someone, I tended to get a little nervous…
Anywho, those classmates returned around lunchtime with a dark smudge on their forehead and with a solemn look on their face. It took me FOREVER to work up the nerve to point and ask, “So, what’s going on that?”
Back in the day, this is all my friends told me:
- We can’t eat meat on Fridays.
- We have to give up something that we really like.*
For my classmates, Lent drilled down to a long, miserable season of “I can’t…”
What are you planning to give up this year for Lent? Are you excited or are you dreading it?
photo credit: http://wellness.nifs.org
Is that how you feel about Lent? Are you now trapped in 40 days of “I can’t…”?
While I may not share your Lenten experiences, I regularly observe the spiritual discipline of fasting. When you think about it, Lent is just an organized, formalized expression of fasting. And as one who fasts, I share your “I can’t” Lenten struggles.
We HATE voluntarily saying “no” to something that we always say “yes” to. There’s a loud voice inside of our heads that objects to voluntary self-restraint. As soon as we make our Lenten or fasting commitment, we think that we’ll die without the thing we’re giving up. Maybe not die, but we’re going to be so miserable! If we’re being honest, we’re a little miffed at God for making us into give up stuff. Like it’s His fault that we have to do it. And, when people ask what we’re giving up, how often do we share our hostage-like sacrifice with a little sigh:
“I can’t have chocolate.”
“I can’t go shopping.”
“I can’t be on Facebook.”
“I can’t go out on Friday nights.”
Whatever comes after “I can’t” is often an indicator of what we love and value a little more than God. I’m not saying that you love chocolate more than God, but do you love indulging yourself over showing self-restraint? You may not love television more than God, but how often does television or the Internet hijack your prayer or Bible study?
What we sacrifice often reveals our spiritual struggle.
Recently, my church finished a 28-day fast in January. I decided that I would give up desserts. I LOVE DESSERT. Love, love, love, love, love dessert.
Guess what? As soon as I said that I would give up dessert, I got mad that I wouldn’t be able to have dessert. Pitiful, I know. Dessert really isn’t any big deal, but my first-world heart has become accustomed to having whatever it wants. I don’t like to eat one cookie. I like to eat lots of cookies. If you ever offer me a cookie, I hope you have a few more just in case…
Lent and fasting are all about teaching our hearts and minds to submit to God’s way of life in us. When we choose to give up something that we love for a season, we give ourselves space to strategically practice submitting to God. The more we practice submission, the less we feel terrorized by the pressure of our internal wants and desires.
Here’s a great question to ask yourself: What becomes possible when we give up something for Lent?**
Instead of focusing on the “I can’t…” of Lent or fasting, we have the incredible opportunity to transform our thinking into “I can connect…”
Think about what you’ve chosen to give up. What if during the next 40 days, you gave God that space and let Him fill it? What if the absence of that thing actually filled you with more time to connect more with God or others? Imagine the possibilities!
When I gave up desserts, each time I felt a desire for dessert, I made the choice to connect with God. I changed careers in January, so I needed to pray more. I faced some tremendous personal challenges as of late, so I needed more of God’s wisdom and peace.
Instead of looking for comfort from a sugary, creamy treat, I chose to find comfort in God. So, I prayed A LOT in January…and I lost quite a few pounds, too!
In giving up something that I loved, I gained something that I needed most: God.
What are you giving up for Lent this year? Instead of focusing on “I can’t” during this Lenten’s season, what opportunities do you have to connect with God or your family and friends more during this season? Share your Lenten memories and your suggestions that might help others in the comments.
Thanks for stopping by! If you’ve like to read more stuff like this, make sure to subscribe to barbroose.com at the top of the page. I’d love encourage you and stay in touch! Feel free to share this post with your friends – just use the share buttons at the top!
References:
- http://www.christianitytoday.com/ch/news/2004/lent.html
- This question was inspired by a similar question that leadership guru, Michael Hyatt often asks when individuals are struggling or suffering through hardship.
by Barb Roose | Nov 28, 2015 | Christian Living/Discipleship, Women's Topics
First, “srsly” isn’t a typo, just my lame attempt at being clever – especially since this blog title might be a little jarring for some. Trust me, what you’re about to read is ALL GOOD. It’s 100% goodness up in here.
And yes, after almost 14 years, I’ll be leaving my full-time staff position at CedarCreek Church. My eyes get a little cloudy just a bit looking at that last sentence. Okay, deep breaths. (That’s for me, not you – ha!). If you haven’t seen my “ThankFULL” message at CedarCreek this weekend, you might want to check it because I’m talking about my exciting news during the talk. So, I decided to share this post and some pictures of just a few memories that I’ve had over the years.
I know that there are folks scratching-n-sniffing for some type of secret story or conspiracy. If you’re looking for some kind of “What-aren’t-they-telling-us” story about my departure, you’re going to be disappointed. Friends, here’s the real story:
- The reality is that I’ve been working TWO great jobs for the past year – my full-time Creek job and my hobby-turned-calling as an author. I’ve been trying to do both and frankly, by August I realized that I wasn’t doing either of them as well as they needed to be done. Both roles needed 100% and since there is only one me, it was time to let one go.
- My decision was driven by the need to focus on the ONE thing – connecting with women. My main thing will be speaking – whether at MOPS groups, churches or conferences. Here’s how it works: the goal of speaking is to inspire women to connect with Jesus’ heart and direction on a particular topic. After the talk, books equip women to learn, understand and apply what inspired them during the talk. If I truly want to connect with women for the long-haul, it starts with speaking. While the elders were generous with their permission for me to speak, the truth is that the speaking side of life takes more time than I have available.
- Change is hard, but I’m really excited! Ben’s excited, too. Okay, it took him a few minutes after I told him the news, but he’s been leading the “Go-Barb!” cheer. The elders are excited, too. One of my greatest encouragements was that CedarCreek Founding Pastor, Lee Powell, wrote a great reference for me to share with new churches who have no idea who I am. His words blessed me and I am so grateful for them.
I mustache you a question? Ha! One of our videographers noticed my mustache while editing a video for an April 2014 weekend message. Lots of laughs on this one!
“What’s next for you, Barb?”
Let me start with what’s NOT next. First, you’ll want to scrub any mental images of me rolling around in piles of $$$ like authors, J.K. Rowling or Jodi Piccault. I’m a newly published Christian author who’s still learning the ropes. I’m not leaving my staff job because I’ve sold tons of books. Truth is, I haven’t sold tons of books, but I’m working on it. One of these days, it would be cool to join a speaking tour like Women of Faith (WOF) but I’m looking forward to wherever God sends me to speak. (This is fun: Later this week, I am writing a blog for the WOF newsletter, but they really have no idea who I am – ha!)
All I know for sure is that God is calling me toward a new direction in this season of my life.
So, what IS next? I’ll be in full-time ministry as a Christian women’s speaker and author. I have a number of speaking events lined up for early 2016. I love speaking. If you’d like to see where I’ll be speaking for the next few months, check out barbroose.com/speaking. Feel free to share up this link with friends at other churches who are connected to their women’s ministry. (Make sure to tell them that you know me so I’m not just some random black woman with a big smile sitting in their inbox.)
I’ll also be writing. Lot’s of writing. I need to become a much better writer and that will take time and hard work. There are some writing projects in 2016 that I’m looking forward to diving into as well.
Also, I’ll be speaking a couple of times in the coming year at CedarCreek. Ben asked if I wanted to still speak occasionally and I was like “FO’ SHO!” I appreciated the ask and I’m looking forward to it. I’m actually scheduled for a date in February and looking forward to it! (By the way, our family will still be attending the Creek…)
Finally, I’ll be working on building new relationships with other Christian women speakers and authors and I’ve got a chance to explore some new ways to connect with women.
Where is all began! Here’s my first beauty talk at our CedarCreek MOPS group in 2010.
Are you scared?
Honey, they don’t call it a “leap of faith” for nothing! I’m running toward the edge of the great unknown and the only thing I can do is tuck my knees under and fold my hands to pray that God keeps me from falling.
Am I scared? YES! I’m leaving a great job that makes a difference in our world. I’m leaving a group of people who been like family to me for over a decade. I’m leaving a good salary complete with great healthcare and a retirement plan. Scared? HECK YEAH! And, every now and I ask myself: “Are you crazy?”
Yet, I feel that God is calling me to open my hands and trust whatever He will put in them or even, take away.
My concerns and worries aren’t anything special – and not even significant. Fact is, there are Christians all over the world putting their VERY BREATH AND LIFE on the line for the Gospel. So, while there are practical things in my life that are real concerns, I’m aware of how insignificant those things are in the light of eternity.
Leaving the comfort of the USA to go on short-term missions changed my life. Sure, I helped build a few houses, but the relationships that I’ve developed have changed my life. I’m looking forward to continuing those relationships with my friends in Latin America. Mi familia!
Over the last 14 years as a staffer and 19 years as a CedarCreek attendee, I’ve seen thousands of lives changed and transformed for eternity. What would be scary was if I was leaving my Creek job and cutting myself off from opportunities to help others discover life transformative power of Christ.
I have no idea how God will use my life, but I’m going to open my hands and let God put in or take away according to His plan. Just so you know, that last sentence was tough to write because I’ve been alive long enough to know that some of what will go in and what will come out will hurt – even devastate me at times. Yet, on the same note, God will also overflow my heart with peace, joy and fulfillment. My main job is to trust that God will be faithful and good in both sets of circumstances.
Oh, Hanz and Frieda! In late December 2014, I spent an afternoon stuffed full of foam, wore a blond wig with fake eyelashes and pedaled a bike in high-heeled boots. Just another day at the office – ha!
“What do you need? How can we pray for you?”
I’m so glad that you asked! I’m not shy, so here’s a list:
- Pray for FOCUS. I want to travel in the lane God created for me. I’m not trying to be Lysa TerKeurst, Priscilla Shirer or the other amazing women that do what I do. I want to focus on God to see the direction where He calls me to do.
- Pray for NEW CONNECTIONS. I know that God has given me a message for women that can transform their lives. I’m praying for opportunities to share this message wherever God would lead – even if it’s out of my comfort zone.
- Pray for PROVISION. There are some specific things that I am praying about for 2016, mainly speaker and writer development and leadership mentoring that I’d like to participate in this year. Pray that God will provide according to His plan for me. (By the way, I’d challenge you to create your own “getting-better” wish list. My “wish list” is at the bottom.
- Pray for FAMILY. Transition can be tough. No complaints, friends. I totally get that people have it much worse than Casa de Roose. Still, we’re navigating all of the relationship and economic issues that come with transitions. On top of that, my oldest daughter leaves for South Korea in two weeks for her first assignment after graduating from West Point. Pray that our dependence will be on God and that we choose to live with ThankFULL hearts at all times.
Thank you for checking out my exciting news! Again, I’d like to thank everyone who has been so supportive and encouraging to me. I’ve been so very blessed by all of you.
MY 2016 DEVELOPMENT WISH LIST (click on the titles to find out more about these)
She Speaks Conference hosted by P31.org and Lysa TerKeurst) – if you are a Christian woman and you want to speak/write for an audience, THIS IS THE CONFERENCE! I’ve been twice and it’s amazing!
The Storyline Conference hosted by Donald Miller
Catalyst Conference (either two-day or one-day event)
Global Leadership Summit hosted by WillowCreek Church
Truth@Work Roundtables
Books-n-Such Literary Agency Retreat – hosted by my literary agency for the writers.
by Barb Roose | Oct 27, 2015 | Christian Living/Discipleship, Women's Topics
I woke up this morning and realized that I have only 10 DAYS until my video debut in Nashville. A few months ago, I announced my new project, a six-week Bible study titled, “Beautiful Already.” This new project would include a companion DVD featuring me. Okay, so that previous sentence = mind blown. Honestly, life has kept me so busy this year that the reality of filming hasn’t sunk in until, well, basically this morning.
As I was standing in the bathroom, about two minutes ago, I might have started to freak out. Not much. Just a smidge. A little.
You’re no Beth Moore.
You’ll be fine. Pretend you’re Priscilla Shirer…
Priscilla Shirer is amazing! But, you can’t copy her, you’ve got to be you!
Is being me good enough?
Just a little freak out, right?
When I start freaking out about stuff, I like to capture my thoughts. As an added bonus, I’ve snookered you into reading some of those wacky, nerve-wrecked thoughts. I’m writing a bunch in order to capture my life over next 10 days. If anything, It’s a good idea to have a chronology of events in case I have an epic meltdown and someone needs to reconstruct the timeline…or accident scene.
Here’s two things that you should know about where my brain is that today…
Exhibit A: my flat iron
I was not kidding when I told you that I wrote this post in the bathroom this morning while doing my hair. I dictated while Siri typed…but I had to fix her typos. Blame her if I missed one. And yes, I’m kinda sideways in the picture. #thestrugglecontinues
I’m not a sophisticated thinker in the morning, but as I’m curling my hair this morning, I’ve had an epiphany: Filming a DVD is kind of big deal. No brag. Just a reality check.
Seriously, I’m not bragging. I just haven’t absorbed my soon-to-be reality. I’ve thought about all of the prep work. I’ve thought about what I will wear. I’ve poured hours into research and content. But, I haven’t thought about the road that I’ve traveled to this experience or celebrated that this opportunity has come my way.
Yes, these thoughts should have occurred to me earlier. However, it’s been a year filled with lots of changes, transitions, celebrations and tears, so much thinking about so many things. The DVD has been in the background of my life, looming, but not acknowledged nearly enough.
So, as I curl my hair this morning, I’m getting little excited (which is dangerous when one is holding a hot styling tool). I’M FILMING A DVD, Y’ALL! And since it’s not a workout DVD, I can still eat. However, I’m thinking about that big ‘ole camera and hoping that it makes me look 10 pounds thinner, rather then heavier.
I’m so excited about the opportunity to share with women about how much God loves them, about how we can support each other better, and important messages that we need to know about loving ourselves. I can’t wait to see what God does when this study is released next March!
While I’m doing my hair, I’m also experiencing a twinge of sadness. Now that I’m in the heavy preparation phase, it doesn’t leave a lot of time for celebrating this life-event. It’s go-time and I’m a go-girl – which is usually my problem. Go-girls don’t celebrate life well. #workingonthat
(Goodness, the things I think about when I’m holding a flat iron! So, take a moment to tuck this tidbit away: If you ever want Barb to do deep-thinking, put a styling tool in her hand.)
Exhibit B: #thatshoetho’
These shoes are amazing if you are standing or sitting. Not so much fun if you must walk for hours on end or hitchhike across the country.
These are my favorite pairs of shoes. I love them. Not as much as I love God, my husband or kids, but I totally love these shoes. They’re amazing, right! When I am 90 years old, God willing, I’ll be wearing these shoes! Even if I’m sitting in a wheelchair and these shoes have to be duct taped to my old, arthritic feet, I will keep wearing them.
Believe it or not, these shoes cost about $6.00. I know, right?!!! Four years ago, my dear friend, Lisa gave me a $50 gift card for my birthday. The shoes were $49.99 + tax and that wonderful gift card made those shoes truly a gift! After months of searching, I found these pretties the day before I left town for a speaking engagement with the fabulous Nicole Johnson. I was a special guest speaker for her “Seasons Weekend” experience and I wanted to have a crazy, amazing pair of shoes to wear. So, in true Barb-fashion, I discovered these beauties sitting on the rack just whispering my name. How do I know that they were whispering my name? I wear a size 11. There’s only a few big-feet names those shoes could call and I choose to believe that they called for me.
These shoes have been a part of some of the best moments of my life in the last four years. So, they will be one of the most important items in my suitcase. These shoes are an enduring symbol of how God has dropped unexpected joy, pizzazz and opportunity into my life, even as the circumstances around me didn’t always make sense. I’m looking forward to the moment before the cameras roll when I can look down at my feet and remember a gracious, faithful God who will be right beside me as I speak.
YIKES!!!
So, it’s time for me to get out of the bathroom and get dressed. And frankly, I need to stop typing because trying to flat iron my hair and write this post at the same time is really a dumb idea. Siri did a lot of the dictation, but she’s REALLY bad with the typos.
So, with 10 days before next week’s shoot, I’m going to do my best to celebrate this moment in my life. Today, I’m going to enjoy the new fluttering butterflies in my tummy. I am going to embrace the annoying insecurities that come along with this new experience on the horizon. I hope that I do a great job. I’m praying that God works in me and through me.
And most of all, today, I’m going to smile.
I’M FILMING A DVD NEXT WEEK, Y’ALL!
Thanks for sharing in the journey with me!
Join me! If you’d like to be in the studio audience, I would love to look out and see your smiling face. CLICK HERE for more information to sign up for studio audience!
By the way, my new project, “Beautiful Already” is already available for pre-order on Amazon! If you’re a part of a women’s Bible study group, check it out! Click here for more info!
Coming in March 2016!
by Barb Roose | Aug 20, 2015 | Christian Living/Discipleship, Women's Topics
I’m Gaby Muñoz, I live in Guatemala and I’m the head of FaithSeeds, an organization dedicated to help children and break the cycle of poverty through love and education. My greatest dream is to build two schools and a shelter for the orphans, widows, and abandoned women. I love reading and dancing.
I never considered myself normal. I’ve never been someone that fit in the popular crowd. And I love it.
When I was young, I was the good kid with the best grades in school, so, of course, my parents were always proud of me. I came to Jesus when I was sixteen, because I was craving God. I wanted to know Him, to know if He was real.
At 17, I graduated high school. I was popular because I had the best grades, not because I was cool. I had already decided to save my first kiss for my husband, and I knew I was not going to get married while I was a teenager. So I had no problem staying away from boyfriend issues until I was twenty-two years old. By then, I was in business school, I was one of the youth leaders at church, and I was working as my pastor’s secretary. Life was good. Still I was after Jesus; I just knew there was more of Him.
So, I met this guy. He was a little shy, kind, very nice. As extra bonus, he was super cute. We became friends. Then, we developed feelings for each other. Still, I didn’t want a relationship though. I was waiting for the one I would marry, but I couldn’t deny my feelings for him. I don’t know how it happened, but he became very demanding about my looks. My features are not that of a skinny girl. They never have been, but I was okay with it. Every time we talked, he would ask me to go on a diet or to go to the gym; he thought I needed to lose weight. Then my closest friends joined him.
Gaby working with some of the kids through her organization, Faithseeds.
By the time I turned 24, I started to think that “the one” for me would never show up because I was fat. I believed that my friends and that guy were right; I needed to lose weight in order to be beautiful.
As a coincidence, I met this lady at the bus stop who happened to sell certain products to lose weight. They were very expensive, but I tried them. In two months, I lost 18 pounds. I started dropping sizes and everyone noticed how attractive I looked! This lady said I shouldn’t use the product anymore. According to her, I looked good already, so losing more weight wouldn’t be good for me.
However, I then had some guys interested in me and I liked the feeling. So, I couldn’t afford the risk of getting fat again. That’s when I decided to stop eating.
I got so obsessed that I thought that a glass of water would make me gain weight. My temper changed. I was grumpy all the time, and I learned to lie. When my friends would ask me if I ate, I told them I ate at home.
One day, my mom told me that my dad was crying the night before because he thought I might have issues with anorexia. God knows how I love my parents, so the fact that my dad was sad made me miserable. Of course, I denied it to my mom. I told her they were crazy and I felt bad about that. So, I decided to start eating again for them. However, I couldn’t stand the idea of having food in my body. First I tried throwing up, but I hated it. Then, I was introduced to the world of laxatives. I started using laxatives in a very abusive way to get rid of the food I ate.
I kept dropping weight and I looked terrible. Yet, every time I looked at myself in the mirror, in my head I looked obese. Deep inside I knew what I was doing to myself, but I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t eat; food was the most disgusting thing to me. I started losing my hair and my period stopped, but I just couldn’t eat. I wanted to be able to eat and not take laxatives, but it was stronger than me.
One night I felt so guilty. I prayed, “Jesus, if you are there and you can hear me, please help me get out of this.” But nothing changed. Then, one day I found the courage to confess to my mom. We both cried, and she encouraged me to hold on onto Jesus for this. She said they missed my joyfulness. They were worried about me because I looked like a walking bunch of bones.
At the city dump, Gaby serves one of the precious children that she works with in her organization.
My mom talked to my family and friends, and they all started a “Let’s save Gaby plan.” They called me often just to tell me I didn’t need to be skinny to be loved. There was always someone with me; they didn’t even let me go to the bathroom without someone waiting for me at the door. Somehow, it made me see that I was loved, and that made me want to stop. That is why I say that “Love rescued me.” It was a lot of prayer and love that gave me the strength to fight the voices in my head.
I went to the doctor and praise God, almost everything was normal. However, my stomach and my intestines were very hurt. My family and friends were very patient with me eating little by little again. Slowly, I started to heal. I felt forgiven by Jesus and by the people I love, but it took me a long time to forgive myself. I felt stupid knowing I could have diet and that I hurt my family and friends. Above all, I struggled with knowing that I had hurt Jesus. It took me about five years to heal emotionally.
I still struggle with the “beauty” subject. It’s been ten years since my battle with anorexia, but it is a constant battle in my soul. Now, as time has passed and my sweet Papa God has made His plans known to me – plans for me to rescue children from garbage dumps in my Guatemala. I’m here to fight for them to have a future worthy of a child of God. I want to be a part of changing their destinies for the glory of my Father. Now, I understand that the Enemy will always do all he can to stop the plans and purposes of God in our lives. He almost got me, but Jesus in His mercy rescued me with His love, and He is rescuing His precious children now.
Another one of the children that Gaby serves. God’s given her a dream to bring hope and life to those children.
One morning, while I was praying, Papa God told me to read Psalm 96. There’s one verse that talks about the beauty of a holy life, and it hit me. Then he led me to Psalm 45, which says that “The King is in awe of your beauty” and I got i!
I am beautiful to Him.
I am cherished and loved.
My precious children in the communities will come to me saying I am the prettiest girl, the most beautiful princess in the world. I think God does that because He knows I need that. I can’t imagine the number of people that die every day because of anorexia and bulimia. It hurts to know the number of purposes that are stopped because people choose it. I know that Jesus never wanted me to go through that. It was my choice; I chose to believe those lies.
I know now, though those thoughts still come to my mind, above all, I am beautiful – not because of myself, but because I was wonderfully made by the best artist. I am beautiful because of a beautiful Holy Spirit living inside of me. His plans are perfect, His timing is perfect, and His creation is perfect.
Thanks Gaby for sharing your story! I know that you encouraged and inspired many reading today! Friends, share this post and encourage someone today! Also, Click here if you’d like to find out more about Gaby’s organization, Faithseeds.
Blessings,
by Barb Roose | Aug 3, 2015 | Christian Living/Discipleship, Women's Topics
Ladies, what words do you use to describe yourself in the mirror? Does it matter what you say to yourself?
It’s tough out there, isn’t it, ladies? As much as we love social media, we don’t love the constant barrage of culture telling us how we should look. There are a lot of “mirrors” out there. Lots of people with opinions about our size, shape and style. I can pick up one magazine that tells me young and thin is in, then click over to Buzzeed for the 25 reasons why having junk in my trunk is amazing. So many conflicting messages about beauty! Do you ever feel like you are stuck in the middle of something, but you don’t know which side to take?
Even Angelina struggles with beauty…
Angelina Jolie (credit to filmrise.com/getty images)
Actress Angelina Jolie is one of the one of the most recognizable and photographed women in the world. She appears in movies, magazines and tabloid publications on a regular basis. Angelina’s face, body and weight undergo constant scrutiny by anyone and everyone who feels the need to chime into the discussion. So, what does this famous woman think of all of the attention paid to her appearance? Does the fact that our culture considers her beautiful have any impact on her personal opinion of herself?
Here are some quotes that I found online from Angelina:
“I don’t see myself as beautiful, because I can see a lot of flaws. People have really odd opinions. They tell me I’m skinny, as if that’s supposed to make me happy.”
“I’m odd looking. Sometimes I think I look like a funny muppet.”
“I struggle with low self-esteem all the time. I think everyone does. I have so much wrong with me, it’s unbelievable.”
These quotes are not chronological and I don’t know in what context they were spoken. Even Angelina can have a few bad days. However, I think they demonstrate that even a woman plastered all over dozens of international magazine covers can think and feel the very same things that you do.
What fascinates me about women is that we would never criticize our friends the way that we harangue ourselves. Imagine the following dialogue:
“Hi Jessica.”
“Hello, Emily. How are you today?”
“I’m fine. But, honey, do you realize that your legs look like a sausage rolls stuffed in those jeans. Oh, and that muffin top? Girl, you look like a breakfast combination from Jimmy Dean.”
That conversation would never happen between friends. (If it does, you may want to rethink that friendship.) Yet, we engage in that kind of dialogue with ourselves every time we look into the mirror. Unfortunately, our mirrors have become an accessory to our campaign of self-condemnation and self-doubt. Too often we use our mirrors to confirm what culture says is wrong with our size, shape or style.
Why does it matter if we believe that we are beautiful?
It’s so easy to criticize ourselves in the mirror and photos. But, for this photo, I admit that I laughed pretty hard once I saw that fu-man-chu mustache!
We must understand what happens when we allow our feelings about our physical flaws undermine our true value. We’ll see how dangerous and hurtful it is for us to believe the ugly lie that we cannot be beautiful.
In my 2013 Created with Curves survey, I asked over 500 women the following open-ended question: “When you look into the mirror, what are some of the words you’ve used to describe yourself?” Here are some of the positive responses:
Gorgeous and blessed! Voluptuous! Precious as rubies. Woman of color
I’m beautiful, amazing, lovely, God-fearing, blessed, overcomer and a role-model
Strong and independent
I’m beautiful, confident and radiant
Strong, athletic, driven
Those are some fantastic responses! We love it when a woman feels good about herself in the mirror, but secretly, we really want that woman to be US!
Here’s another set of responses that women gave:
Ordinary, plain, nothing special
Fat. Ugly. Undesirable.
Gross. Why. Ehh, its okay. Fat. Ugly.
Flabby, dorky, let myself go…
Overweight, need to work on my abs
Hideous, disgrace, waste
Any of these words should familiar to you? The #1 word that women used to describe themselves in the survey was fat. In fact, only 6.7% of women used the word beautiful to describe themselves.
I actually broke down in sobs when I read the survey report. I was so thankful for the raw honesty, but that same honesty tore my heart out as well. But, does it matter that we say those words in the mirror? YES! The impact of those words and those beliefs are felt in many ways.
When we don’t believe that we are beautiful:
…We shrink back,
…We hold back,
…We don’t speak up,
…We hide behind,
…We avoid.
…We struggle to connect.
I’m not against the beauty industry. As soon as I publish this post, I”m going to put on some cute clothes and make-up. But, hair and make-up aren’t the cause of our issues. We’ve done this to ourselves. We’ve given others the power over our understanding and definition of beauty. Our culture has created a financially-driven faux beauty standard that smacks us around every time we pick up a magazine. It’s no surprise that we feel like we are losing. Our ugly struggle with beauty remains a dark, silent cloud hanging above our lives. We don’t like to acknowledge it, but it hovers over us when we look in the mirror and throughout the day when we want to live fully, not we don’t feel like we are enough so we back off.
Here’s the beautiful truth that pertains to you…
Here’s one thought that I’d like to share with you today. It’s a simple thought, but it can change how you see yourself – and others. That simple thought is this: You are beautiful because God created you.
Repeat that to yourself a few times. Just let your mouth and mind get the feel for those words:
“I am beautiful because God created me.”
For some, these words might be hard to choke out. Say it anyways. Some of you don’t believe them. Repeat it anyways.
Yes, our culture has tried to define beauty and convince us that their definition is right. But, here’s the thing: God trumps culture. So, IMO God’s definition of beauty is the only one that matters. So, let me draw the dots really close together on this one:
1. God created you.
2. The scriptures say that everything that God makes is “towb” which is the Hebrew word for “beautiful.”
3. So, if God created you, then you are beautiful. Another way of saying it: You are beautiful because God created you.
That is truth. Embrace it. Live it. Share it with other women that you know.
Thanks for stopping by! I hope that this post encouraged your heart and life today. If so, feel free to share this with your friends by clicking the share buttons at the top. By the way, some of today’s content came from my new book, Enough Already: Winning Your Ugly Struggle with Beauty, Chapter 4: Flaw Finding. Click here to find out more about my book and the special Kindle pricing!
