“My Survival List”: What got me through the most remarkable year of my life.

“My Survival List”: What got me through the most remarkable year of my life.

It's been the most remarkable year of my life.

At many points, 2018 felt like the worst year of my life. While some losses looked pretty rough on paper, there was more to this year than the number of tissues that I cried into. So, on this New Year's Eve, I'm taking stock on how I lived through a rocky ride around the sun.

The following list captures a snapshot of how God’s power, love, and provision carried me through the last 365 days. I can see how God empowered me to experience tremendous peace and accomplish more than I could have ever imagined, even as much of my life collapsed around me.

I'm grateful for the following hard-fought lessons. They are carved into my soul and I hope that they stay with me the rest of my life.

So, here’s my top 18 for 2018. This is from the list of 39 lessons that I wrote down in my journal yesterday:

1.  Life with God is a much better risk than doing life on my own terms.

2.  The day after a bad day is a new day, so I can always start again.

3.  Be kind at all times.

4.  I will cry when necessary and make no apologies.

5.  A long walk and a podcast will keep me from saying or doing things that I'll regret later.

6.  It's not my job to fix anyone.

7.  An unhurried life is a happier life.

8.  A good night’s sleep is a good thing every night, not every now and then.

9. Sometimes, doing hard things will make me cry. I will do those hard things anyways.

10. When I am emotionally healthy, toxic and unsafe people will avoid me.

11. I trust God’s love for me, even when my circumstances are tough.

12. Living with purpose heals emotional pain.

13. Forgiveness is a practice. I get better at it the more that I do it.

14. I will not judge my self-worth by the number on the bathroom scale.

15. Honest and healthy friendships leads to healing.

16. Experiences are much more satisfying than stuff.

17. Fasting one day a week increases my self-control.

18. When I stay in the present I worry less about the future.

18. The prayer that God answers is, “God, changI don’t know if you’ll find these helpful, but I figured that I’d share them anyway. Feel free to leave a comment below and let me know if any of these inspire you. Even better, write out your own list and share it with the people in your life!

One final note…Thank you for joining me on the wild ride of 2018! Whether you engaged with me on a blog post, attended one of my events, purchased one (or more) of my books, or completed one of my Bible studies, I’m grateful for you. Thank you for your love and support, friends!

If you want to ride along with me in 2019, drop your email address below for email delivery.

When You’re Not Getting What You Want For Christmas.

When You’re Not Getting What You Want For Christmas.

When I was a kid, I loved Christmas because I knew that my parents worked hard to give us kids at least a few of the toys that we pestered them for that year. On Christmas morning, we’d rip the boxes and packages open, screaming and laughing with excitement.

But... there were a few wrapped, squishy gifts pushed waaay back under the tree. Every year, we could count on those packages to show up, much to our chagrin. While the wise men brought Jesus and his parents gold, frankincense, and myrrh, Christmas morning in my family always included the most another (un)popular gift trifecta - underwear, socks, and thermal long johns. Every.single.year.

But here’s what my parents knew that I didn’t realize until my adult years: They knew that my new Pacman handheld game wasn’t going to keep me warm and dry at the school bus stop during the cold Ohio winter.  Neither was any other toy or book waiting for me under the tree. Now I understand that those gifts of socks, underwear, and thermals were symbols of true love and provision that addressed my most important needs.

How often do we get so excited about the things that we want in life BUT we overlook or undervalue the things that we really need?

Chances are this Christmas, there’s something on your list that you'd really like to receive on Christmas. Now, I’m not talking about getting a luxury vehicle in the driveway with a giant red bow on top. Instead, I’m referring that good thing that you deeply desire, but money or control can’t buy.

A healed marriage. 
A positive pregnancy test.
New employment.
Good health. 
Relief from grief.

If our hearts' desire goes unfulfilled and we don't address it, sparks of anger, envy, or bitterness will rise up as we look around us. Sure, those strong emotions can surface anytime during the year, but there’s something about Christmas season that magnifies what’s broken, missing, or changed in our lives. Com’on God! Why does everyone have ________ except for me?

As one who is living right in the middle of that tension, I’ve had to really fight hard to not compare this painful season of my life to the smiling, happy, photo-shopped images on social media. It's been a battle, friends.

More importantly, I’ve had to remind myself of an important spiritual principle that applies every day of the year. This principle is critically important at Christmas when I’m not going to receive what I want most. Here’s the lesson – and feel free to read it aloud:

God doesn’t always give me everything I want, but He always gives me an abundance of what I need.
 
This is the irrefutable promise of God that the pastor Paul writes about in Philippians 4:19: And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. 

Here’s a tough question: Do you truly know the difference between what you want and what you really need? This question isn’t as easy as we pretend it to be. There are a lot of good things out there that we want. But, when our attention is solely focused on what we want, we're missing out on the knowledge and blessing that God has given us more than what we need.

So what do we need? We need what God alone can provide, which looks a lot different than what most of us are asking Him for.

We need to possess what cannot be destroyed by time (Matthew 6:19-20). God longs to pour out His riches of peace, hope, love, joy, purpose, and an eternal connection with Him. Compare what you want against God's riches. What offers the greatest blessing to you? Sure, peace and joy aren’t items that we usually put on our Christmas list, but like socks, underwear, and thermals, it's what we need most.

I’ve had to challenge myself on the wants vs. needs question this Christmas season. While I want a healed marriage, I cannot fix my focus on that desire alone. What I need more than any desire is a close, abiding connection with God, who is my source of hope, joy, and peace (Romans 15:13). As I seek God first, He fills me with Himself and satisfies my every need (Matthew 6:33, Psalm 16:11).

Like the trifecta of underwear, socks, and thermals, God’s hope, joy, and peace is what keeps us and protect us not matter the ups and downs in life. Best of all, God lavishes upon us an abundance of those essential needs to fill us up as the hardships and heartache drain us each day.

A final prayer for us before Christmas: God, You are all I need. Help my hearts and eyes to desire Your eternal treasure more than anything that I could see or want on this earth. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Chronic Pain: When God doesn’t heal with Melinda Means

Chronic Pain: When God doesn’t heal with Melinda Means

“On what should have been the most beautiful day of my life, a switch flipped in my body?” 

Have you or someone you know struggled with chronic pain? For 20 years, speaker and author, Melinda Means fought chronic pain and autoimmune disorders that she jokingly referred as the “gift that keeps on giving.”

Melinda is the author of the book, Invisible Wounds: Hope While You are Hurting. As we talked today, she reflects on the years of constant doctors appointments, diseases, and treatments, she felt like the woman in New Testament who struggled with uncontrolled bleeding for 12 years (Mark 5).

 

Raging within, Melinda’s suffering body was a spiritual wound that spread deep and wide. “I didn’t understand how God could love me and still let me suffer. I know that my earthly father would have healed me from my debilitating pain if he could. So, if my earthly father would heal me because beloved me, then why wouldn’t my heavenly father heal me?”

During my conversation with Melinda, we talk with great candor about the difficult questions that we ask God when we’re in physical, emotional, or spiritual pain. If you’ve ever grappled with questions like why God hasn’t taken away your pain or why your prayers for healing have gone unanswered, then today’s podcast conversation is for you.

What you’ll hear in this week’s podcast:

  • The story of Melinda’s 20-year struggle with chronic pain and spiritual struggle with her faith;
  • What happened when Melinda prayed a radical prayer in the midst of her pain;
  • The ONE thing that you can do if you are in the midst of a physical/spiritual struggle;
  • A beautiful new gift God bestowed on Melinda that you can enjoy and download for yourself!

PODCAST EPISODE RESOURCES:

 Melinda’s website |  Melinda’s book  | Melinda’s Facebook page

Finding Joy Ladies Night Out Tickets on iTickets

 

SHARE YOUR STORY: Are you dealing with something in your life that God hasn’t healed yet? Maybe it’s a chronic illness, a broken relationship, or an unfilled longing that keeps breaking your heart. Share your story in the comments below and bring home to another person who is listening today. 

 

 

Five Positive Things to Say to Yourself Before You Go Shopping!

Five Positive Things to Say to Yourself Before You Go Shopping!

In this episode of the Better Together podcast, host Barb Roose shares five positive statements that women can use before, during and after their shopping experience.

As one who has battled an ugly struggle with self-esteem, self-confidence and self-image, Barb shares godly wisdom for women at every age and stage in life. These five statements reflect God’s truth about women.

Here are the five statements:
1. If it doesn’t fit, I promise not to buy it.
2. I will buy the best for my budget.
3. This label is not my value.
4. This piece of clothing isn’t right for me, but it’s right for someone else.
5. I am God’s beautiful daughter and trying on these clothes won’t change that.

Barb recommends that women repeat these statements when before entering the dressing room, while disrobing as well as after shopping.

Better Together with Barb Roose is on iTunes. Subscribe by clicking here.

Barb would love to hear from you!

barbroose.com

facebook.com/barbararoose

Twiiter/IG: barbroose

 

 

Check out this episode!

Beautifully Broken Light Listening Guide

Beautifully Broken Light Listening Guide

Good evening! Welcome to the listening guide for my message this evening. Make sure to share your phone with a friend who might not have a great data plan like you 🙂

ONE FAVOR! At the end of the message, leave a comment below about one or two takeaways from tonight’s message. Thanks!

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Racism 101, Part 1

Racism 101, Part 1

 Are you tired of the negativity that you’re seeing online?

If you are interested in learning to love and value people for who they are, no matter their skin color, then you may be interested in what I’ve got to say in this video.

Whenever I’m stuck with a complex problem that I can’t solve, the most helpful thing that I can do is break the problem down until I discover the foundation. When I find my foundation, I can examine it, repair it, re-enforce it and then re-build. When it comes to racism, I’m inviting you to join me in evaluating about the foundation for how we think about race and prejudice. 

You’re welcome and encouraged to leave comments after watching the video. We don’t have to agree, but there will be no hatred allowed. If someone posts something that causes you to lose your peace, then that’s your cue to leave this blog and do something different. As a wise woman once said, “You don’t have to give your words to people who don’t deserve them. Keep your peace and give them your prayers.”

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