by Barb Roose | Feb 22, 2014 | Uncategorized
This is what my life feels like sometimes…
It took me two hours to get home on Wednesday afternoon. Two. Hours.
For my friends in big cities, I know that two hours doesn’t mean much to you. However, for the rest of us in mom-and-pop cities, we’re not built for that kind of windshield time. You big city folks got the patience, cool sports teams and great night life to put up with that kind of drama on the highway.
I do not.
I needed to pick up the kids at 4:30pm. Naturally, I left the office at 4:25pm to make the 16-minute drive to school. As I merged onto the expressway that carries me halfway to my destination, I could see the traffic back-up almost immediately. And I heard a voice that always comes out whenever I see a traffic back-up:
“Barb, it’s time to ‘call the ball.'”
Don’t let the picture distract you. Keep reading. But, it is a nice picture, right?
Remember Tom Cruise’s character in Top Gun? He had to “call the ball” when bringing his plane in for landing on the aircraft carrier. The phrase meant that he acknowledged the path and committed to it. So, when I saw the traffic backing up in front of me, I had two choices. It was time for me to “call the ball.”
There was an exit about 1/4 of a mile away. I did a quick calculation. If I exit now, then I can detour down and around in less time than crawling through this mess at -2mph.
I called it wrong.
When I exited the expressway, the new path carried an entirely new set of challenges. I totally forgot that thousands of other cars already exited the expressway parking lot creating a new parking lot along my new path. Not only that, but the road conditions on the alternative route were even worse! I saw some potholes that really should be considered sinkholes…
As I snaked through my new route, I had lots of time to evaluate my failed strategy. Lots o’ time. And, I saw many new things. Let me just say this: Some of y’all doing some weird stuff in your cars when you think no one is looking. You should stop, okay?
About an hour into my trip, I was furious. Okay, I was more than furious, but since I’m a pastor I can’t say what I was because then you’ll be like “Ooohhh, did you see what Barb said?” and then Kyle would Facebook the link to my blog so more people could see it and then — wait. Hey, this could work…
Why was I so angry? It was just a traffic back-up. Yet, I gripped that wheel and fumed.
I ended someplace I didn’t want to be.
I tried to fix it.
But, things weren’t working out as I’d planned.
No matter how hard I tried, I was stuck in a situation that I tried to get around it, but it didn’t work. I still had to go through it anyways.
A metaphor about life these days…
Enough about me, what about you?
What hasn’t been working out as planned for you lately? What have you been trying to get through, get around or get over?
A relationship that goes two steps forward and 200 back…
A job that you’ve been working hard at but not getting anywhere…
Kids – both big and small – that can’t or won’t straighten up and fly right…
Dealing with bills, bills, bills and you can’t ever seem to get ahead…
Maybe even trying to figure out what you believe about God, but too many voices telling you what you should believe…
Life Interruptus
This winter seems to be a metaphor for my life. I developed a case of Life Interruptus. You know, that disease that makes you upset, angry, fearful, worried, irritable and grumpy. When you suffer from it, you say things like: “I can’t believe THIS HAPPENED!, “What NOW?” or “I DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS!!! One of the hallmark symptoms of Life Interruptus is the that your thoughts tend to feel like they are in ALL CAPS. Raise your hand if you’ve had Life Interruptus at some point this winter. Mine’s up, too.
What to do, what to do?
After I made the two-hour trip home, picked up the kids and apologized to my dogs for making them wait waaaay too long to go out, I went to bed early. I was drained from the inconvenience and frustration of the afternoon.
After a few days of reflection, I realized I didn’t handle myself well on Wednesday. I needed a reminders about dealing with Life Interruptus:
1. Life ALWAYS interrupts our plans. Promise yourself to stop getting grumpy about Life’s small unexpected changes. School might get canceled, so prepare in advance for it. Tires might blow out, so be ready for it. Lanes and exits will close, so (Barb) leave the house earlier!
Also, embrace interruptions as opportunities. You never know what good can come from an unexpected phone call, unexpected diagnosis or unexpected job loss. Now, the “good” in that situation might not happen until later, but you’ve got to be on the look out for it.
2. It’s usually best to go through things, than try to get around them. If you’ve got some problem or issue in life, stop avoiding it and stop trying to skirt around it. By all means, if you know you’ve got a problem or if people are telling you that you’ve got a problem, snap out of denial! Deal with it! If you’re not handling your finances, health, anger, addiction, perpetual crankiness – get help. You can’t get over what you’re trying to avoid.
3. HOW you get through life’s interruptions is important. How do two people face the same set circumstances and one come out better for it and one come out worse? It’s about attitude. So, here’s the Jesus-part of my story: I believe that in all things, God is in control and He will take care of IT. This doesn’t mean that I’m not going to do my part, it just means that I know that I’m not alone in going THROUGH my stuff. This means that I can get through Life Interruptus without melting down every five minutes because I can find strength and hope in Christ. I’m smart enough to know that too often, Life hands out more than I can handle. So, yes, I lean on Christ. And, I’m much better for it.
My hope and prayer for you today is that if you’ve got a case of Life Interruptus, that you’re sick enough of it to get rid of it. God is in control and He will take care of IT…and you.
by Barb Roose | Dec 24, 2013 | Uncategorized
‘Twas the night before Christmas and I was nine years old,
settled deep in my blankets, shielded from the cold…
All I wanted that year for Christmas was a round, yellow, handheld Pacman game. Handheld games were new and I salivated at the notion I hold my favorite game in the palm of my hand and play it on-demand. It would be a dream come true for a small, quiet brown-skinned girl with a competitive heart, but not enough quarters for the bowling alley video arcade.
On that Christmas Eve, my parents hustled my younger brother, sister and me to bed and warned us to stay put until they came to get us the next morning. “If you come out,” warned my mother, “Santa might see you and throw pepper in your eyes. And, He won’t leave you any toys.” (Anyone else get threatened with the “old pepper in eyes” line?)
As our bedroom door clicked shut for the endless night, I began the task of forcing myself to sleep. After all, I prayed to God for weeks before that He would tell Santa to bring me that PacMan game. My childhood theology dictated that Santa would do anything that God told him to do.
The night dripped along and I was wide awake. I tried to sleep. My parents were having a grand ‘ole time out in our living room. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but grand times were happening right outside our door. Then, there was a knock at our front door and a voice entered proclaiming: “HO-HO-HO! Merrrr-rrry Christmas!” It was Santa!
Oh no! Of all the little kids on the planet, I believed that Santa had just showed up at my house – err, apartment. And we didn’t even have a fireplace! Santa just walked through our front door. I remember thinking it was my fault because I invited Santa to come over a few weeks before at KMart when we where getting our pictures taken with him. I really wanted that game.
Now, Santa was in MY living room. And unfortunately, I was wide awake. Then, I heard a deep, bellowing voice say: “I wonder if those Neal children are asleep?” I kid you not.
Santa’s footsteps were coming down the hallway to my room and I was still awake. My little heart beat so loudly in my chest, I thought Santa could hear it. Not only was I going to get pepper tossed in my eyes, he was going to take my beloved PacMan game and give it to some other kid.
The doorknob started to turn, so I did the only thing I could – I screwed my eyes shut and pretended to be asleep. As the door swished open across the carpet, I could sense the light streaming across my face as Santa stepped in. I willed my body to lay stark still.
Santa’s footsteps crunched across the carpet toward my bunk bed. My 6-year old sister was sound asleep on the bottom and I was faux-asleep on the top. This must have made it easier for Santa to see my not-so-sound-asleep face. I should have won an Emmy Award for that acting job – and I don’t know how Santa kept from laughing.
After a few interminable moments, I heard Santa step away and our door closed again. I nearly cried with relief. I didn’t care that I had a chance to see Santa. I was just thrilled that my eyes weren’t burning from pepper. Hope still abound that I just might have fooled Santa enough to get that handheld game.
A few moments later, I heard Santa and my parents laughing and talking in the living room. Eventually, I fell asleep from exhaustion, but not before I heard the glorious sound of my parents playing a PacMan video game. My Smallbrownbarbie heart soared as I drifted off…
To this day, I still don’t know who was Santa. I could ask my parents and they would tell me, but I really don’t ever want to know. There are some memories that should just be allowed to remain untouched and this is blessedly one of them.
Now it’s your turn to share! What’s your favorite childhood Christmas memory?
by Barb Roose | Dec 14, 2013 | Uncategorized
When I was 13, I sang in the youth choir at my small Baptist church. My grandmother was the pianist and director. There were a dozen or so of us kids aged 10-15 and Grandma taught and fussed at us each week during choir practice until we got the songs prepared just right for Sunday.
One Sunday afternoon, our church was hosting another church for an afternoon program. It was a big deal to host another church from out of town, so we had to be on our best behavior. Grandma wanted our little youth choir to look good and she wanted us to sound good.
Of course, Grandma wanted to look good, too.
Earlier that morning, however, Grandma had an accident with one of her eyebrows. Her eyebrows were always plucked very thin and usually, she would fill them in with a pencil. However, on that particular morning, Grandma couldn’t find her tweezers, but there was a razor handy. I’m not sure how everything went down, but the bottom line was this: Grandma accidently shaved off one of her eyebrows. Then, she shaved off the other because she didn’t want to have only one eyebrow. (No, it’s not logical. Just keep reading…)
My girlfriends and I were in the choir room putting our choir robes over our summer Sunday dresses when Grandma rushed in with a frazzled look on her face.
“Girls, do any of you have a black eyebrow pencil?”
We’re 13 years old. None of us plucked our eyebrows yet. “No.”
“Oh, no!” exclaimed Grandma. She rushed over to the mirror on the sidewall. “I need a black eyebrow pencil, girls. My brows are gone.”
I stepped across the room toward my grandma as she looked in the mirror. Yes, indeedy, Grandma’s brows were gone.
One of my friends spoke up: “Miss Magnolia, I’ve got a navy blue eyeliner. Will that help?”
It was the late 80’s and blue eye shadow and blue eye pencils were all the rage, even for us brown-skinned kids. Looking back at photos, brown and blue weren’t a great color combination. At that moment, Grandma didn’t care. “Quick, give it to me.”
Grandma took that blue eyeliner pencil and drew on a set of new eyebrows. They were navy blue eyebrows, but since Grandma would be wearing a navy blue choir robe, so it seemed that things had worked out. Almost…
An hour later, our little youth choir took the choir stand and we were singing away. It was a really hot afternoon, so we kids were starting to sweat. So, was Grandma. She jammed those fingers over the piano keys like her life depended on it. Every now and then, she would raise one hand while playing in order to emphasize a note we were singing. I remember that day. We sounded great!
As we moved into the second song, we sweat even more. Grandma was sweating so much we would see the perspiration running over her new navy blue eye brows and down her face.
That’s when it happened. As I clapped in time with the music, I looked down in time to see my grandmother raise her hand toward her face. Noooooo!!!!
Yep. Grandma pulled her hand across the top of her forehead wiping away the sweat. And one of those blue eyebrows.
I don’t remember if I kept singing or what. My girlfriends also saw it happen and they started to giggle between breaths while singing. I remember looking at my beloved grandma, who didn’t know that she was pouring her heart out on that piano with only one eyebrow.
Yet, Grandma played on. Her one blue eyebrow raised, then crinkled, when she saw the other kids giggling, but that only made them snicker more.
A few minutes later, I saw more beads of sweat rolling down her face. Then, I saw her other hand go up toward the other side of her face. Oh no! Not again!
Um, yes. Grandma pulled her other hand across the other side of her forehead, wiping away the remaining blue eyebrow. I was horrified. Then, I laughed.
And Grandma got mad. Really mad. When we finished that final song, we exited the choir stand and Grandma ushered us back into the choir room to bless us out for our behavior. At one point, we got her to look in the mirror to see why we were laughing.
Then, it was Grandma’s turn to laugh.
by Barb Roose | Nov 27, 2013 | Uncategorized
GIVING THANKS WHEN I DON’T FEEL LIKE IT
By Rick Warren
Thanksgiving is a difficult holiday for many.
How can you be thankful when your doctor says it’s cancer? How can you feel grateful when the one you love just walked out of your life? Or when you’ve been fired . . . or your dream has collapsed . . . or an economic tsunami has wiped out all you’ve worked for?
This year became the worst year of my life when my youngest son, who’d struggled since childhood with mental illness, took his own life. How am I supposed be thankful this Thanksgiving? When your heart’s been ripped apart, you feel numb, not grateful.
And yet the Bible tells us “Give thanks IN ALL circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” The key is the word “in.” God doesn’t expect me to be thankful FOR all circumstances, but IN all circumstances. There’s a huge difference. The first attitude is masochism. The second shows maturity. We’re not supposed to be thankful for evil or sin, or the innocent suffering caused by these things. But even in heartache and grief and disappointment, there are still good things that I can be thankful for.
I used to think that life was a series of mountain highs and valley lows, but actually we get both at the same time. In our world broken by sin, the good and the bad come together. On the cover of my wife’s book, Choose Joy, is a photo of a railroad track heading into the horizon. Like that photo, our lives are always running on two parallel rails simultaneously. No matter how good things are in my life, there are always problems I must deal with, and no matter how bad things are in my life, there are always blessings I can be grateful for.
So what am I thankful for this Thanksgiving?
I’m thankful that, although not everything that happens is good, God is a good God. Having had a close friendship with him for nearly 50 years, I know without a doubt that God sees all I go through, he cares, he grieves with me, he is close, and his strength is available at all times.
I’m thankful that, even though I don’t have all the answers, God does. In tragedy we seek explanations, but explanations never comfort. It is God’s presence that eases our pain.
I’m thankful that this life is not all there is. It’s not the end of the story. One day God will right all wrongs, even the odds, and settle all accounts. Justice will be served. Evil will not win.
I’m thankful for the hope of heaven. I won’t have to live with pain forever. In heaven, there are no broken relationships, broken minds, broken bodies, broken dreams, or broken promises. The Bible tells us “God will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain.”
I’m thankful for my church family. For 33 years, I’ve had the privilege of loving, serving, and leading the people of Saddleback Church. But in our darkest hour as a family, they gave all that love back in a split-second, the moment Kay and I returned to speak after a 16-week grief sabbatical. We can handle anything with prayers and support like that.
I’m thankful that God can bring good even out of the bad in my life, when I give him the pieces. It’s his specialty. God loves to turn crucifixions into resurrections, and then benefit the whole world. God never wastes a hurt if we give it to him.
Itzhak Pearlman once broke a string at the start of a Lincoln Center recital. Rather than replacing it, he played the entire concert with a broken instrument. At the end he said, “Sometimes it is the artist’s task to find out how much music you can still make with what you have left.” That kind of humility honors God. This Thanksgiving, don’t dwell on what’s lost, but on what’s left.
Pastor Rick
by Barb Roose | Nov 9, 2013 | Uncategorized
I must admit, sometimes I am surprised when God answers my prayers.
This is a tough ‘fess up from someone who has been a Christ-follower for pretty much her entire life and works in ministry. I believe that God hears and answers my prayers, but I also know that God’s answers to my prayers can vary. Like you, I’ve prayed and God honored my request for a particular outcome or blessing. And we’ve all prayed and experienced the moment when we realized that God’s answer to our heart-felt cryout for rescue or healing was a divine “no” or a frustrating “just wait.”
Yet, there are times when God answers a prayer and I am straight-up blown away.
Like this morning.
I’m working on a chapter that is central to why I am writing this book. This difficult chapter is an exploration of God’s beautiful nature. My challenge is to collapse the qualities of an infinite God into 2,675 words or less. So, after a week of reading, thinking, processing, I’ve written a total of three words. Only 2,672 more to go. (sigh)
During my team meeting last Monday, I mentioned this struggle. My co-worker, Jim, mentioned something off-handedly and that random comment reminded me of a free Kindle download I acquired a couple of years ago, but never read.
I started reading the book yesterday. Things were starting to come together in my mind, but not on paper. (Which is a problem since publishers tend to like it when things are written down…)
This morning, I hopped in the car to spend the morning writing at Panera. My daughter, Samantha, had a gift card so I bought her with me to supply the free coffee. I also took time to pray. Here is a portion of that prayer: “God, I absolutely can’t do this by myself. I need Your help.”
I gripped my cinnamon cream-laced cup of coffee and began reading the book again. My brain began to organize the arms and legs of my research and things started to gel. After an hour, I tapped the screen to advance from chapter seven to chapter eight and my breath caught.
On the page, the author unfolded a framework that began to untie the knots in my cerebral struggle. My eyes welled with tears and Samantha looked at me with alarm. She pulled out her earbuds and asked if I was okay.
“Yes. God just answered my prayer.”
Aren’t you more valuable to him?
We forget how often God answers our prayers, don’t we? We forget because we tend to focus on the prayers that God hasn’t answered, not the ones that He has.
God is a detailed God. Nothing escapes His eye – even when I think He is not paying attention. Sometimes we ask, “Does God even care about me?” We know He does, but sometimes it doesn’t feel like it.
“Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your Heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?” (Matthew 6:26)
Yet, the best part of this morning wasn’t just my answered prayer, but the reminder of just how valuable I am in God’s eyes. He sees me and He hears me. Sometimes, I forget that. Sometimes, the cacophony of my life obscures the fact that as His child, I am never far from His heart. And neither are you.
I don’t know what you’ve been praying about lately. Maybe, you’ve stopped talking to God because in your experience prayer hasn’t made a difference or you haven’t liked the answers you’ve received.
Don’t stop praying.
Prayer gives you and I an opportunity to invite God into our struggle with being human. When we connect to an Almighty God, He infuses us with His perspective and in turn, that brings us hope.
At times, God surprises us with lavish “yes” to our request. Like today. But, getting what we want from God should never be the goal of prayer. We get God when we pray. We get His truth, His strength and His wisdom. And that is always enough to gird us and guide us through life’s challenges.
Has God blown you away by an answer to prayer? How has prayer strengthened you to handle challenges? Share what you’ve experienced either in the comments or on my Facebook page. Trust me, your words will encourage someone else today.
Okay, I’ve got to wrap this baby up because this book’s not going to write itself. Only 2,672 words to go for today!
by Barb Roose | Oct 29, 2013 | Uncategorized
Luke and Sara’s infant son, Jackson in 2009 at St. V’s Hospital
This weekend, I had a chance to talk about peace as the pathway to surrender. One of the stories I shared was about two CedarCreek.tv staff members, Luke and Sara Shortridge. In August 2009, their infant son, Jackson, was suffering from a rare pancreatic disorder that caused poisonous enzymes to leak into his body. Luke and Sara spent many months in the hospital with Jackson and even endured a child abuse investigation (they were cleared once tests revealed the defect.)
Yesterday, Sara sent me a note about this weekend’s message. It blessed me so much that I asked if I could share it with all of you, especially for those who are struggling with circumstances that are out of your control…
Sara holding a miserable baby Jackson close to her heart.
Hi Barb!
I’m humbled that once again our story could be used to reach more hearts for Christ. Yet, every point you mentioned was something I had to struggle through, or accept as truth through the Jackson saga. I can’t tell you how many times I felt like I was in a “fake it till I make it” stage. I would leave the hospital, where I had countless conversations with God basically me saying “If one more bad thing happens, I don’t think I can believe in you”…and then I’d head into church to teach elementary kids about how much God loves them!
Thanks, too, for sharing that it’s ok to keep on doing “normal” life things. I remember when it was still in the thick of things, and the women at Shamas in Perrysburg donated their talents so I could have a spa day. Hair, makeup, massage, the whole deal. I felt so guilty…like it was so wrong to be pampered while my son was still suffering. But, Luke (and others) reminded me that it’s ok to take care of myself. I think that’s such a valuable thing for people to hear.
I remember clinging to the truth of Scripture…and the saving knowledge that this life is not the end of the story. That the struggle we were facing was only a blink of the eye in light of eternity. It gave me much hope to remember that God had so much waiting for us. I really like the analogy you used with Eric Ward’s pictures. Being a visual learner, that really helped me to understand God’s perspective even more.
Luke and Sara with their children, Jackson, Asa and Atalaya
A practice I started during the Jackson journey was to listen to worship music, even when it was the LAST thing I FELT like doing. I can remember leaving the hospital, just to take a break from the madness, and being in such a crappy place emotionally and spiritually. I’d turn on KLove and hear lyrics like “You give and take away” and “Our God is Healer, Awesome in Power”. And I’d force myself to sing along. Boy, God sure does know how to wreck our hearts. But, focusing on God…and who HE is…makes our struggles so much smaller.
Life is so much different now, but every day brings struggles of its own. I will definitely be filing away the notes from your message to pull out when I feel like my struggles are bigger than I can handle…bigger than God can handle.
Thanks again for sharing your heart.
Love, Sara
(If you missed this weekend’s message, CLICK HERE and you can watch.)
