by Barb Roose | Apr 14, 2016 | Reflections, Women's Topics
Earlier this week I received the newest issue of Weight Watcher’s Magazine. I receive the subscription because a lady showed up at my door last summer. She had eight kids and selling magazines was her first legit job after a lifetime trapped in drugs and prostitution. While I’m normally a skeptic when I hear such stories, there was something about this woman that made me want to cheer for her. So, I bought a subscription.
As I looked at the cover of this month’s issue, I saw a picture of Oprah, who was sharing her newest favorite workout. My eye wandered and saw “101 Ways to Appreciate Food and Fun.” Then, I saw this headline:
“11 Incredible Women BARE ALL: A Weight Watchers First!”
Normally naked women appeared in magazines that arrive in doorsteps in brown paper bags. But, Weight Watchers must have felt adding the word “incredible” somehow justified the word “naked” hanging out next to it.
This got me to wondering: If these women are incredible, then why do they need to be naked? Why are they more incredible without clothes?
Has Weight Watchers has joined “The Naked Bandwagon”?
Yes, there is a naked bandwagon and it’s been around for a long time. You just haven’t seen it in your neighborhood. It mainly circled Hollywood, music, and advertising. Unlike the X-rated adult industry, The Naked Bandwagon insists on portraying coyly-positioned bodies with innocent smiles all covered under the cry of empowerment.
These days, there’s one celebrity most often associated with The Naked Bandwagon. Her recent clothing-free photo garnered over 200,000 shares on social media. While she’s made millions as a reality television star and businesswoman, she’s been deeply impacted by the harsh comments of others:
“I am empowered by feeling comfortable in my skin. I am empowered by showing the world my flaws and not being afraid of what anyone is going to say about me. And I hope that through this platform I have been given, I can encourage the same empowerment for girls and women all over the world.”
It appears that her naked photos are her way of flipping off haters who’ve viciously body-shamed her over the years.
Yes, there are a lot of horrible people on social media. We should seriously consider making people prove they are responsible enough to use Facebook or Twitter, like making them get a social media learner’s permit. Women are bullied, shamed, critiqued and condemned for their size, shape or style on a regular basis.
It’s no wonder that women are banding together and pushing back.
Now, The Naked Bandwagon is rolling into middle America. The Naked Bandwagon champions want you to believe that posing nude will give you power over your sense of inadequacy. So, if you post a naked photo, then you’ll have the last say over everyone who might have called you “fat,” “ugly” or commented “At least you’ve got a pretty face.”
Sticks and stones may break our bones and shaming names can cut us deep.
Naked or not, we’ve got three big problems:
1. We don’t like ourselves as we are.
2. We don’t feel comfortable in the skin that we’re in.
3. We worry way too much about what other people think.
I’m not immune to those three problems. I spent far too man years comparing myself to other women and I never felt like I measured up. There was always someone who was “more” than me. Every time I didn’t feel that I measured up, I would put myself down.
“If you think like a throwaway person, you’ll act like a throwaway person.”
–Lysa TerKeurst
You can be sure that for whatever area of your life that you feel less than, you treat yourself horribly in that area.
If you don’t like your body, then you’ll treat your body like you don’t like it.
Hate your smile? You probably won’t smile much.
Don’t think that you make good decisions? Then, you probably letting other people tell you what to think or influence how you act?
While I like the idea of women’s empowerment as it pertains to how we cheer each other on in life, empowerment isn’t enough to create a all-important foundation for our identity.
Everyone wants to have power. When we feel empowered, then we don’t feel at-risk.
But, the quality of our power depends on its source. That’s why I like the following verse:
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” -2 Timothy 1:6
There was a pastor in the New Testament named Paul. He sent a letter to his protégé Timothy to encourage the young man to boldly live out the call on his life. Paul references Timothy’s mother and grandmother as women of great faith and calls Timothy to that same conviction. I love that Paul highlights these women, who lived in a time when women were not often respected.
Imagine what would have happened if Timothy’s mother (Eunice) and grandmother (Lois) spent their days in fear of what others’ thought? Instead, these women knew that their empowerment to live their convictions came from God himself. That’s real empowerment!
These women were energized by God’s lavish love, the power of the Holy Spirit and the ability to patiently endure whatever came their way. While these women lived in a world that was not “for them,” they thrived because of their divine connection to an endless source of power.
For my fellow sisters in Christ, hear me on this: You’ve already got the power.
In Jesus’ name, you’ve been freed from the fear that you aren’t enough as you are.
In Jesus’ name, you’ve been freed from the shame of whatever happened in your past, whether it was forced on you or you did it to yourself.
By the power of the Holy Spirit living within you, there is no more need for shrink back or live small. God’s calling you to live BIG for Him. Honey, you can’t wait around for others to give you approval.
Stop waiting for people to give you self-worth. You are worthy because you are God’s precious daughter.
Now, live like it…with your clothes on.
REFERENCES:
1-Weight Watchers May/June 2016
2- http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/kim-kardashians-naked-selfie-is-now-a-mural-in-australia-w167359
by Barb Roose | Jul 27, 2015 | Scripture Devotional, Women's Topics
A few months ago, I realized that my back was really hurting. The first few minutes of each morning were getting really painful. Like OOUUUCCCHH! To make matters worse, when I did move, my bones were popping and cracking like a 90-year old man. Goodness!
My body was finally shouting loud enough for me to listen. You see, my workout regimen had been hit –miss – miss- miss – miss for many months. I’d get in a week of exercise here and there, nothing consistent. So after many months of excuses and good intentions that went nowhere my body’s pain protests were finally louder than the excuses I’d been telling myself. It was time to get back on it. Time to take care of my body. But, there’s one thing:
I don’t love exercise.
I just don’t. I hate admitting this, but I’ve got to keep it real. I love sports and competition, but I don’t love working out. I’m much rather consume a pile of cookies and unlimited Netflix over pulling out my workout mat and moving off the couch. Running, planks and yoga do not hold the same thrill as chocolate-peanut butter ice cream and streaming episodes of “Fixer Upper” with Chip and Joanna Gaines…I love them.
Yet, when I’m not taking care of my body, my body lets me know it.
I give thanks that my body started sending me angry, painful messages a few months back. That pain forced me to get my butt literally back into gear. You know what hurts worse than working out? The pain of a body that isn’t cared for! God created our bodies to move. This doesn’t mean that we’ve got to run 10 miles a day, but we’ve got to do something! While those managing fragile health issues must follow their doctor’s instructions, many have been encouraged by their doctors to engage in some form of physical movement. It’s how God designed us!
From a spiritual standpoint, I believe that caring my body honors God. I believe that caring for my body is one way to prepare for God to use me for the good works that He’s planned for me to do (Ephesians 2:10). While I have no control over whether or not some illness or medical condition will interfere with my current wellness, I am responsible for how I treat my body today.
While we know that what’s on the inside of a person matters most, but we should never take our bodies or health for granted. They are a gift from God!
Q4U (Question for you): How are you treating your God-given body? On a scale of 1 (bad)-10 (great) how well are you:
- …Nourishing your body in a way that will make you healthy and strong?
- …Getting a good night’s sleep?
- …Disciplining yourself to pursue fitness in some form most days of the week?
- …Experience connection with others?
For any question that you answered less than a “5,” then what do you need to do differently and most importantly, what’s going to be the reason “why” you need to behave differently. Without a compelling “why,” you probably won’t follow-through.
Meditate on this today: I honor God with my body when I care for it and strengthen it as much as I am able.
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by Barb Roose | Apr 8, 2015 | Scripture Devotional, Women's Topics
One day, I took my then five-year-old daughter, Abbie, shopping with me. I needed to check out some new clothes and didn’t want to pay for a sitter. My youngest little girl has a kind and loving heart, so I can always count on her to have sweet and supportive things to say. After we arrived at the store, it took a few minutes for me to choose some clothes to try on in the dressing room. As we went entered the hallway of the dressing room area, I realized that there wasn’t a place for Abbie to sit. So, I brought her inside of my small dressing room and settled her on the little perch in the corner of the room.
Promising to be quick, I handed Abbie some crackers and turned to disrobe. Since the dressing room can be a judgment room, I mentally prepared to get half-naked and try on clothes that may or may not fit. What if it doesn’t fit? I should have worked out more. I wish that I was 10 pounds thinner! My little cherub munched on her crackers as I slipped out of my coat and turned to remove my top. Then, her munching stopped and her little voice piped up: “It’s OK, Mommy. I won’t laugh.”
So much for thinking that I had kept my insecurities to myself!
I was wrong. Somewhere along the line, my five-year old daughter picked up on my frustration over my size, shape or style, otherwise known as my “ugly struggle with beauty”.
“Why don’t I ever look good in anything?”
“My feet are SO big! Goodness, someone could use these for a boat!”
“Look at these hips! Nothing ever fits right over these hips!”
I never wanted Abbie or my other daughters to sense my discomfort with my body. Yet, I had passed my negative thinking and feelings about my size and shape onto my daughters.
In October 2013, I surveyed over 500 women about the topic of beauty and how beauty has impacted their lives. Many women reflected on how their mothers’ ugly struggle with beauty was passed along to them. Here’s one woman’s story:
My mother is a beautiful woman by anyone’s standards, but she does not see it that way. To this day, she works to support her beauty habits. She’s had breast augmentation, countless peels and laser resurfacing and practically lives at the salon. This was my model. I remember my mother telling me that I was beautiful, but I also remember her worrying about what I was eating, and how my hair looked and what other people would think about me. I scrutinize every imperfection on my face. I have long, full hair that other women compliment me on, but it’s fake. I shop a lot. I constantly size myself up against other women. It is honestly exhausting at times.
Clearly, her mother never intended for her daughter to inherit her ugly struggle with beauty, but our words and actions influence our daughters more than we realize.
Protecting our daughters from our ugly struggle…
Moms, we never want for our daughters is to experience the same sadness and frustration that we encounter in the mirror, right? If our daughters express a beauty-related struggle, we’re quick to go out an buy something to help. We make sure they have acne-free skin, pay for nose jobs or by them stylish clothes. Yet, trying to address their physical struggle doesn’t matter if our girls are also carrying around OUR beauty-related pain in their hearts and minds.
So, what do we do to influence our daughters away from our ugly struggle? The best way to keep our daughters from inheriting our ugly struggle with beauty is for us to win OUR ugly struggle with beauty!
There are three things that we need to do in order to win our ugly struggle or reduce our struggle’s impact on our daughter’s lives:
1. Understand your “beauty narrative” – What’s your beauty story? Talking about beauty is more than just talking about how we look, it’s about understand it’s impact on how we think and live. Are there nicknames or painful memories that you’ve carried around since childhood that whisper back to you each time you look in the mirror? When we don’t acknowledge the things that happened to us, we carry them around and give them the power to influence our thinking, feelings.
2. Re-Think Your Body – Your relationship with beauty begins in your mind. What you think drives how you feel and behave. If you struggle with you’re a certain body part or facial feature, then a practical tip would be re-frame how you think about that feature. How does that body part bless your life? What purpose does that body part serve in helping you love and care for the people around you? I struggle with the gap between my front teeth. Yet, my mouth affords me the opportunities to speak with women and encourage them. I know that my voice and smile would not be as effective without my two front teeth. So, those teeth are a blessing because they allow me to encourage others.
3. BE Beautiful! Beauty isn’t about our size, shape or style. Instead, we are beautiful when we recognize ourselves as creations of an Almighty God. We are not doomed because our hips may be too wide or our skin isn’t youthful or smooth. We are beautiful because God created us. Period.
When our daughters see us smiling at ourselves in the mirror, our daughters will remember and mimic that behavior. When our daughters overhear blessing our bodies, in spite of what our culture says about beauty, then our daughters will learn to bless their bodies in spite of what culture says about their beauty.
While we can’t protect our daughters from their own ugly struggle with beauty, we can protect them from inheriting ours.
QUESTION: How did your mom influence your opinions about beauty? What beliefs or attitudes have you carried from childhood into your adult years? Share your story by leaving a comment below.
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