by Barb Roose | Dec 29, 2016 | Scripture Devotional, Women's Topics
Has holiday overeating left you feeling horrible? Here’s five positive ways to wrap up your holiday.
By Barb Roose
Anyone feeling guilty over the Mt. Everest-size mountain of food that they’ve consumed over the last couple of weeks?
Are you disappointed that your best intentions for self-control fell apart 88 cookies, 23 pieces of pie, a bazillion wings and 10 glasses of eggnog ago?
Maybe you’re wearing a Charlie Brown-sad face. Maybe not. A few days ago, I asked myself where I was at because frankly, I was feeling a little out of control. Which one describes where you’re at right now:
- Can’t. Stop. Eating.
- Doing okay.
- I’ve had fun, but I’m back on track.
- I can’t answer this question right now.
- Holidays don’t change my habits.
Honestly, I started out on track this holiday season. Yet, a single crockpot of rich, creamy, tangy buffalo chicken dip derailed all of my good intentions.
I attended a Christmas cookie exchange a week ago. When I entered the beautifully decorated home, I smelled the air and saw a crockpot on the counter. My heart fluttered with hope. My mind snapped to alert because I knew that a temptation that lurked within. Could I resist?
I grabbed a plate and made my plan. I scanned the counter. A giant bowl of Asian salad caught my eye. That’s it! Salad would be my salvation. Why do we women believe that salad will save us?
Let’s be honest: A salad is like wearing shorts during a snowstorm. Technically, you’re wearing something, but you really want to wear something that actually gets the job done. That salad wasn’t going to save me from buffalo chicken dip because I REALLY wanted buffalo chicken dip.
Still, I heaped my plate full of Asian kale salad hoping that my healthy food choice could change my heart’s desire.
Not a chance.
As I neared the crockpot of my downfall, my fork magically pushed back the hopeful avalanche of vegetables to create room for what I really wanted.
But wait. I paused to create a failsafe (kinda). I asked a woman that I’d just met that night to be the light of accountability for me: “Honey, I LOVE buffalo chicken dip. Can you make sure that I only have one serving?”
She agreed, but with a knowing smile on her face. We both knew that I wasn’t going to have just one serving, but I still gave myself an A for effort.
When I removed the lid, the rich, tangy smell hypnotized me with its heady scent. I scooped a not-too-big, yet not-too-small dollop of dip on my plate and quickly surrounded it with the wall of sturdy nacho chips.
Friends, I sat down, placed my napkin across my lap and proceeded to ravage that dip like a starving man who found water in the desert.
To be fair, that kale salad was amazing, too! But once I finished the salad, I immediately started thinking about how to justify getting another serving of Buffalo chicken dip. In fact, my life would no longer be complete unless I had another serving of that rich and creamy dip.
My name is Barb, and I am obsessed with buffalo chicken dip.
Filled with glee, I pranced back to that crockpot ‘o delicious wonder and loaded up again. However, the sweet ending fell flat. That second helping was too much and my tummy started to rumble. It sounded like, “You idiot! What have you done to me?” Remorse and guilt settled atop the once desired, now demonized substance. All I felt was the weight of rich and creamy regret.
What now?
For many of us, our relationship with food turns the most wonderful time of the year into the most horrible time of the year as we near the new year. The holiday food preparation and celebrations that brought us joy before Thanksgiving are occasions tinged with regret. How many of us feel anxious or regret over our lack of control. How many of us are tempted to shout, “I give up! I’m just gonna keep eating all.the.food because I’ve blown it already.”
I wrote this post, because I know how you feel. Just because I write to encourage women to see themselves as God sees them, doesn’t mean that I don’t have to fight off the feelings of overwhelmed and out of control.
There’s one thing that I want to say to you: Beating yourself up won’t change a thing.
Beating yourself up doesn’t burn calories.
Beating yourself up won’t change your behavior.
Beating yourself up will make you feel bad enough about yourself and drive you to consume much more.
5 positive ways to wrap up your holiday
We’ve got just a few days left in the holiday season, and I want to share with you five tips to help you move away from beating yourself up to blessing yourself with kindness. Treating ourselves with kindness is the only path away from shame and guilt.
- Stop your stinkin’ thinking!
When you hate yourself for your behavior, you undermine your ability to see what God wants to do in you. Here’s something else: Shaming yourself with self-hating talk won’t help you make lasting changes.
Here’s a tidbit from my Enough Already book: “Stop blaming yourself for what you’ve allowed to happen. Whether because of gaining weight, letting your appearance fall apart or allowing yourself to become bitter, shame isn’t going to dig you out of the hole.”
Sweet sisters, self-hatred obscures the revelation of God’s love in our lives. When we see ourselves as God sees us, we’ll treat ourselves like women who are loved and valued.
ACTION STEP: If you’ve gotten in the habit of talking badly to yourself, try saying this each time you look in the mirror for the next seven days: “I am God’s beautiful, unique daughter.”
2. Get real about the real you.
Comparison is killing us, sisters! We’re so busy criticizing ourselves for not being like someone else that we’ve forgotten how to celebrate who God created us to be. Stop comparing yourself to other women, their diets or exercise habits. Comparison is a killer of self-esteem, motivation and joy.
ACTION STEP: Make a list of 10 things about yourself. Celebrate what you do well and where you aren’t perfect. God loves the real you. It’s time for you to love yourself like He loves you.
- Pick ONE thing.
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. So, instead of tackling weight loss, new eating habits and a new workout all at once, just pick ONE thing to do for the next 30 days. You’ll feel better about yourself for doing one thing than the avalanche of failure when you blow it trying to do too many things.
If you need a few ideas for your one thing, consider choosing ONE from this list:
-Eating some fresh fruit and fresh/steamed vegetables each day
-Drinking 8 glasses of water per day.
-Eliminate one unhealthy food
-Taking 10,000 steps per day or working out
(By the way, this list is actually from my own personal experience. On days when I’m overwhelmed or feeling blah, I simply choose to focus on doing one thing that day. Today, my energy was low so I focused on 10,000 steps.)
- Phone a friend
Don’t your friends get mad at you when you beat yourself up? Yes! So, let them hold you accountable to stop stinkin’ thinking or hold you accountable for the one healthy behavior that you choose. Give her permission to text you so that you can let her know how you are doing.
ACTION STEP: Choose a friend to help you stay on track. It’s best to find a friend who also wants to be held accountable. Make a pact to text each other for 30 days and then re-evaluate if you want to continue.
- Make imperfect progress
This phrase “imperfect progress” is taken from best-selling author Lysa TerKeurst’s book, Unglued. This brilliant phrase captures how we can continue to move forward while recognizing that we may stumble or even fall on occasion.
No one’s perfect! Friends, it’s time that we stop using perfection as the standard for our dietary or weight loss lives. I’ll never eat perfectly. I’ll never workout perfectly. Neither will you.
But, we CAN make imperfect progress. We can hold yourself accountable to the goals that we set. We can follow the conviction that God has given us about our health and lifestyle. That doesn’t mean that we’ll be perfect, but it does mean that we’ll be committed to “imperfect progress” and always moving forward.
TELL US ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCE: Do you struggle with holiday eating? Which one of these five tips encourages you the most today?
by Barb Roose | Sep 12, 2016 | Reflections, Women's Topics
How often do you look in the mirror and struggle with what you see?
Remember when we used to love hanging out with each other? Hmm, how old were we back then – two or three years old? How cute were we! Ahh, in those early years we couldn’t get enough of each other. We snuggle up close and do kissy-lips with at each other. We’d play endless games of hide-n-seek. By the way, you’re horrible at that game! Whenever it was my turn to count, I’d peek while counting and you never moved. What’s up with that?
Remember when I was ten years old? That’s when stupid Marcus told me that I was ugly and I had a big nose? I barely made it home from school without melting down. I ran right to the bathroom looking for you. Tears were streaming down my face as Marcus’ awful words screamed in my head.
Don’t you remember how I put my face right up against yours? I searched your eyes hoping that you’d show me that Marcus was wrong. I wanted you to smile at me and make me feel that I was okay as I was. But, you didn’t.
For me, that was the day that we stopped being friends. Correction: That was the day that YOU stopped being my friend.
Yet, we still see each other every day.
Let me apologize for what I look like in the mornings. I’ll admit that it’s a bad scene for both of us. My hot-mess hair and puffy eyes – okay, that’s all on me. (What happens overnight anyways? I always feel like I’m in some overnight street fight and lose every single time…)
Throughout the day, we catch glimpses of each other. A quick look here. A snatch of a glance there. You see me and just that quick, you always look away. No smiles. No kindness. No comfort. Whatever.
You’ve seen me I strap on my courage and strip down in the department store dressing room. Why weren’t you kinder when I tried on that pink skirt and got stuck in it? That size SHOULD HAVE FIT. I was so crushed when it didn’t. Again tears. Again I look at you. Again, all you gave me was a cold stare.
Sometimes I hate you.
Whenever I walk away from you, I want to turn back and scream, “Why aren’t you there for me? Why aren’t you on my side?”
You’ve betrayed me by not loving me. You’ve seen me at my best and worst. Yet, you never show me the support that I need. We share the same heart, the same mind and the same body and yet, you make me feel so bad about myself. I can’t win with you!
You can’t make me 20 pounds thinner, but is it so hard to give me a freakin’ smile every now and then?
Is it so hard for you to give me a thumbs up when I stop in the restaurant bathroom while I’m out with my skinner, more stylish friends?
It’s been a long time, but today, I’m getting all up in your face. We’ve got settle whatever is between us. This stops now. Today. We’re going stop blaming our issues on school bullies, skinny supermodels, unrealistic expectations or the cookies that we can’t stop eating.
This is between you and me.
Tell me, how do we patch things up between us?
I want to know that you are with me. When we look at each other, I want to look in your eyes and see that you’re on my side. I need you to stop giving me reason to criticize my face, hair, hips, breasts or arms and cheer for me instead. I want to look in your eyes and see that I am beautiful. I want to see that I am enough.
What will it take for you to do that?
Wait – are you saying something? Hold on…please whisper a little louder.
My friend, if you want me to love you, start with loving yourself. I’m just reflecting what’s going on inside of you.
The key to being friends with me is the show me what you want to see.
Do you want to see me smile? Then, you smile first.
Do you want to see me cheer for you? Then, you cheer first.
My beautiful friend, I’ll gladly follow your path, but you’ve got to learn how to lead the way.
TALK BACK TIME! What part of your body do you struggle with the most? Leave a comment below and share this post with your friends!
P.S. If you’re tired of hating the woman in the mirror, check out my Beautiful Already Bible study. Give God space to transform how you see yourself – inside AND out!
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by Barb Roose | Aug 20, 2015 | Christian Living/Discipleship, Women's Topics
I’m Gaby Muñoz, I live in Guatemala and I’m the head of FaithSeeds, an organization dedicated to help children and break the cycle of poverty through love and education. My greatest dream is to build two schools and a shelter for the orphans, widows, and abandoned women. I love reading and dancing.
I never considered myself normal. I’ve never been someone that fit in the popular crowd. And I love it.
When I was young, I was the good kid with the best grades in school, so, of course, my parents were always proud of me. I came to Jesus when I was sixteen, because I was craving God. I wanted to know Him, to know if He was real.
At 17, I graduated high school. I was popular because I had the best grades, not because I was cool. I had already decided to save my first kiss for my husband, and I knew I was not going to get married while I was a teenager. So I had no problem staying away from boyfriend issues until I was twenty-two years old. By then, I was in business school, I was one of the youth leaders at church, and I was working as my pastor’s secretary. Life was good. Still I was after Jesus; I just knew there was more of Him.
So, I met this guy. He was a little shy, kind, very nice. As extra bonus, he was super cute. We became friends. Then, we developed feelings for each other. Still, I didn’t want a relationship though. I was waiting for the one I would marry, but I couldn’t deny my feelings for him. I don’t know how it happened, but he became very demanding about my looks. My features are not that of a skinny girl. They never have been, but I was okay with it. Every time we talked, he would ask me to go on a diet or to go to the gym; he thought I needed to lose weight. Then my closest friends joined him.
Gaby working with some of the kids through her organization, Faithseeds.
By the time I turned 24, I started to think that “the one” for me would never show up because I was fat. I believed that my friends and that guy were right; I needed to lose weight in order to be beautiful.
As a coincidence, I met this lady at the bus stop who happened to sell certain products to lose weight. They were very expensive, but I tried them. In two months, I lost 18 pounds. I started dropping sizes and everyone noticed how attractive I looked! This lady said I shouldn’t use the product anymore. According to her, I looked good already, so losing more weight wouldn’t be good for me.
However, I then had some guys interested in me and I liked the feeling. So, I couldn’t afford the risk of getting fat again. That’s when I decided to stop eating.
I got so obsessed that I thought that a glass of water would make me gain weight. My temper changed. I was grumpy all the time, and I learned to lie. When my friends would ask me if I ate, I told them I ate at home.
One day, my mom told me that my dad was crying the night before because he thought I might have issues with anorexia. God knows how I love my parents, so the fact that my dad was sad made me miserable. Of course, I denied it to my mom. I told her they were crazy and I felt bad about that. So, I decided to start eating again for them. However, I couldn’t stand the idea of having food in my body. First I tried throwing up, but I hated it. Then, I was introduced to the world of laxatives. I started using laxatives in a very abusive way to get rid of the food I ate.
I kept dropping weight and I looked terrible. Yet, every time I looked at myself in the mirror, in my head I looked obese. Deep inside I knew what I was doing to myself, but I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t eat; food was the most disgusting thing to me. I started losing my hair and my period stopped, but I just couldn’t eat. I wanted to be able to eat and not take laxatives, but it was stronger than me.
One night I felt so guilty. I prayed, “Jesus, if you are there and you can hear me, please help me get out of this.” But nothing changed. Then, one day I found the courage to confess to my mom. We both cried, and she encouraged me to hold on onto Jesus for this. She said they missed my joyfulness. They were worried about me because I looked like a walking bunch of bones.
At the city dump, Gaby serves one of the precious children that she works with in her organization.
My mom talked to my family and friends, and they all started a “Let’s save Gaby plan.” They called me often just to tell me I didn’t need to be skinny to be loved. There was always someone with me; they didn’t even let me go to the bathroom without someone waiting for me at the door. Somehow, it made me see that I was loved, and that made me want to stop. That is why I say that “Love rescued me.” It was a lot of prayer and love that gave me the strength to fight the voices in my head.
I went to the doctor and praise God, almost everything was normal. However, my stomach and my intestines were very hurt. My family and friends were very patient with me eating little by little again. Slowly, I started to heal. I felt forgiven by Jesus and by the people I love, but it took me a long time to forgive myself. I felt stupid knowing I could have diet and that I hurt my family and friends. Above all, I struggled with knowing that I had hurt Jesus. It took me about five years to heal emotionally.
I still struggle with the “beauty” subject. It’s been ten years since my battle with anorexia, but it is a constant battle in my soul. Now, as time has passed and my sweet Papa God has made His plans known to me – plans for me to rescue children from garbage dumps in my Guatemala. I’m here to fight for them to have a future worthy of a child of God. I want to be a part of changing their destinies for the glory of my Father. Now, I understand that the Enemy will always do all he can to stop the plans and purposes of God in our lives. He almost got me, but Jesus in His mercy rescued me with His love, and He is rescuing His precious children now.
Another one of the children that Gaby serves. God’s given her a dream to bring hope and life to those children.
One morning, while I was praying, Papa God told me to read Psalm 96. There’s one verse that talks about the beauty of a holy life, and it hit me. Then he led me to Psalm 45, which says that “The King is in awe of your beauty” and I got i!
I am beautiful to Him.
I am cherished and loved.
My precious children in the communities will come to me saying I am the prettiest girl, the most beautiful princess in the world. I think God does that because He knows I need that. I can’t imagine the number of people that die every day because of anorexia and bulimia. It hurts to know the number of purposes that are stopped because people choose it. I know that Jesus never wanted me to go through that. It was my choice; I chose to believe those lies.
I know now, though those thoughts still come to my mind, above all, I am beautiful – not because of myself, but because I was wonderfully made by the best artist. I am beautiful because of a beautiful Holy Spirit living inside of me. His plans are perfect, His timing is perfect, and His creation is perfect.
Thanks Gaby for sharing your story! I know that you encouraged and inspired many reading today! Friends, share this post and encourage someone today! Also, Click here if you’d like to find out more about Gaby’s organization, Faithseeds.
Blessings,
by Barb Roose | Jul 27, 2015 | Scripture Devotional, Women's Topics
A few months ago, I realized that my back was really hurting. The first few minutes of each morning were getting really painful. Like OOUUUCCCHH! To make matters worse, when I did move, my bones were popping and cracking like a 90-year old man. Goodness!
My body was finally shouting loud enough for me to listen. You see, my workout regimen had been hit –miss – miss- miss – miss for many months. I’d get in a week of exercise here and there, nothing consistent. So after many months of excuses and good intentions that went nowhere my body’s pain protests were finally louder than the excuses I’d been telling myself. It was time to get back on it. Time to take care of my body. But, there’s one thing:
I don’t love exercise.
I just don’t. I hate admitting this, but I’ve got to keep it real. I love sports and competition, but I don’t love working out. I’m much rather consume a pile of cookies and unlimited Netflix over pulling out my workout mat and moving off the couch. Running, planks and yoga do not hold the same thrill as chocolate-peanut butter ice cream and streaming episodes of “Fixer Upper” with Chip and Joanna Gaines…I love them.
Yet, when I’m not taking care of my body, my body lets me know it.
I give thanks that my body started sending me angry, painful messages a few months back. That pain forced me to get my butt literally back into gear. You know what hurts worse than working out? The pain of a body that isn’t cared for! God created our bodies to move. This doesn’t mean that we’ve got to run 10 miles a day, but we’ve got to do something! While those managing fragile health issues must follow their doctor’s instructions, many have been encouraged by their doctors to engage in some form of physical movement. It’s how God designed us!
From a spiritual standpoint, I believe that caring my body honors God. I believe that caring for my body is one way to prepare for God to use me for the good works that He’s planned for me to do (Ephesians 2:10). While I have no control over whether or not some illness or medical condition will interfere with my current wellness, I am responsible for how I treat my body today.
While we know that what’s on the inside of a person matters most, but we should never take our bodies or health for granted. They are a gift from God!
Q4U (Question for you): How are you treating your God-given body? On a scale of 1 (bad)-10 (great) how well are you:
- …Nourishing your body in a way that will make you healthy and strong?
- …Getting a good night’s sleep?
- …Disciplining yourself to pursue fitness in some form most days of the week?
- …Experience connection with others?
For any question that you answered less than a “5,” then what do you need to do differently and most importantly, what’s going to be the reason “why” you need to behave differently. Without a compelling “why,” you probably won’t follow-through.
Meditate on this today: I honor God with my body when I care for it and strengthen it as much as I am able.
Thanks for stopping by today! If this devotional blessed you, share it with your friends!
by Barb Roose | Mar 26, 2015 | Scripture Devotional
I’m a food thinker.
What’s a food thinker? A food thinker is someone who is ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT FOOD!
That’s me.
In fact, when I eat breakfast, I want to know what I’m going to eat for lunch. After lunch, I thinking ahead to dinner, but not before pondering the snack that I’ll have in-between.
Any other food thinkers out there? Let me hear you!
As a food thinker, I’m not just thinking about the food that I want to eat, but I’m also run an internal dialogue about the food that I just consumed.
Oh, I wish that I wouldn’t have eaten that!
I.want.more. Yum!
I really wish that I eat another Mr. Freeze Wow Cow Peanut Butter No-fat, no sugar ice cream with hot fudge, pecans and real whipped cream ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!
(That last one was a true thought from last week. I miss that sundae.)
Some of us think about food a lot and our attitude drive our thoughts.
We can get a little nutty defending our right to eat our way – and sometimes, we can sniff our noses at those who may have a differing opinions. I’ve noticed that the topic of food can divide up women pretty quickly. Organics versus Mac-n-cheesers or the Vegetarians versus More Meat-eaters or the Vegans versus Burger King Whopper lovers.
I don’t think that God wants food to divide us or disconnect our hearts from each other – and food surely isn’t supposed to siphon away our desire to focus wholly on God.
How do keep our relationship with food in its rightful place in our lives? How we can enjoy eating, without using food as a way of subtly asserting superiority or using food as drug to cure emotional pain?
I ran across this verse a few months ago, it got my attention: In other words: What you eat shouldn’t be your measure of righteousness or condemnation AND what/how you eat shouldn’t occupy your thoughts more than your desire to live God’s call for your life.
In Romans 14:17, the scriptural author, Paul, wanted to redirect the people from thinking that they could gain spiritual and social superiority by eating and drinking the right things. Obsession over “right” and “wrong” foods distracted the people from what really mattered: Worshipping God with their lives and focusing on Him rather than self. Rather than over-focusing on are we eating the right or wrong things, how do we focus on what the Apostle Paul calls us to focus on instead:
Goodness: Pleasant inward disposition or attitude toward others
Peace: reconciliation with others and reconciliation with God
Joy: Unfailing inner brightness regardless of our circumstances
Awww, snap.
Here I am more worried about whether or not I’m still gonna be hungry after eating my salad-in-a-jar and it seems that God wants to shift my perspective. Instead of focusing on calories, metabolism, steps walked or what’s been crossed and fitted, the real kingdom question is: How am I doing with goodness, peace and joy in God’s eyes?
How are you doing?
Q4U: On a scale of 1 (bad) – 10 (great), how are you doing with living out God’s definition of goodness, peace and joy? Where are you doing well and where are you struggling? Let’s have a discussion below!
Thanks for stopping by for today’s Beautiful Devotional! Want to receive the rest of this Beautiful Devotional series or weekly encouragement from me about your shape, style or soul? Just click here to subscribe to barbroose.com. I won’t fill up your inbox, but once a week, I’ll encourage you and make you smile!
I wrote this post, because I know how you feel. Just because I write to encourage women to see themselves as God sees them, doesn’t mean that I don’t have to fight off the feelings of overwhelmed and out of control.
