by Barb Roose | Feb 7, 2018 | Better Together Podcast
Are you tired of cleaning up the same messes day after day? Are you tired of making dinner, changing diapers or driving carpool day after day?
If you answered “yes” to any of those questions, you aren’t alone! In fact, you’re invited into a guilt-free zone for a precious conversation today about embracing God’s grace in the messiness of motherhood.
On this episode of the Better Together podcast, my guest is speaker and author, Amy Seiffert. She’s the author of the new book, Chin Up: Wearing Grace, Strength and Dignity When Motherhood Unravels Our Soul. Amy and her husband, Rob live in NW Ohio and they are the parents of three kids. For the past 16 years, Amy has been writing and speaking on staff with Cru and she’s the Director of Outward Movement at Brookside Church in Bowling Green, OH. 
Before she became a mom, Amy pictured motherhood as a beautiful dress that she saw her friends wearing so beautifully. However, Amy felt that her motherhood dress felt floppy and didn’t fit quite right. She says that every time she tried to adjust or change, her motherhood dress would shift and expose the things that she wanted to keep covered up.
Amy and I talk about how she found God’s grace in the mundane and maddening tasks of motherhood. If you’ve ever struggled with endless laundry, Mom, I’m hungry, hated playing Barbies or was tempted to burn your kids’ puzzles, Amy’s been there.
One of the most powerful parts of our conversation centered around changing our perspective on the endless loads of laundry or those long sleepless nights. I love how Amy’s former seminar professor calls those seemingly mundane tasks “maintaining and sustaining.” In her book, Amy writes that when we see the sunrise and sunset or the seasons change, those are examples of how God maintains and sustains our world. Amy was encouraged when she realized that her maintaining and sustaining tasks like laundry, making dinner and changing diapers mirrored God’s work in our world. I hope that you listen in for that powerful conversation.
As we talk about Chin Up, Amy shares her struggle to overcome anger, letting go of unrealistic expectations and most of all, how she’s learning to embrace God’s grace in motherhood., if you’ve been beating yourself up for not being the kind of mom that you want to be or think that you should be, Amy’s story is you’ve been beating yourself up for not being the kind of mom that you want to be or think that you should be, Amy’s story is
Sweet friend, if you’ve been beating yourself up for not being the kind of mom that you want to be or feeling guilty about not always enjoying motherhood, Amy’s story is perfect encouragement for you.
SHARE A COMMENT! What are your favorite “mom” moments with your kids?
PODCAST SHOW LINKS:
Amy Seiffert’s website
Connect with Amy on Facebook
Buy Chin Up on Amazon.com
Barb Roose is the host of the Better Together podcast. Barb is passionate about reaching women and teaching them to win at life with God-empowered strength and dignity. She loves speaking at women’s conferences and events on the topics of fear and worry, self-care and leadership. Barb is the author of multiple books and Bible studies, including April 2018 releases, Winning the Worry Battle (book) and Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle (Bible study). Check out Barbroose.com for more information.
Check out this episode!
by Barb Roose | Jan 31, 2018 | Better Together Podcast
Who taught you about sex as a child? If you’re a parent, how do you feel about talking to your child about sex?
According to a survey conducted by Knowledge Networks, 57% of parents feel uncomfortable talking to their kids about sex and 64% reported that their parents didn’t do a good job talking to them. How do we engage in this important conversation with our kids with confidence as well as effectiveness?
On this episode of the Better Together Podcast, I’m talking Lauren Snyder, Executive Director of Ministry at CedarCreek Church in Perrysburg, OH. Join our conversation as we have a conversation about a topic that we hate talking to our kids about: SEX.
During this podcast, you hear and learn:
- A fun story about the unconventional way that Lauren learned about the birds-and-the-bees;
- Why parents must be the first and primary voice in their children’s life regarding sex;
- Lauren will equip you with phrases that we need to repeat early and often to our kids to keep them from developing body-related or sex-related shame.
During our podcast, Lauren also named a few of the resources that she provided to Lydia. We’ve also included those links for you:
As Lauren recommends, please read these resources before handing them off to your kids. You’ll want to be aware and equipped to receive the questions that your child might ask, rather than scrambling to do damage control or untwist any misconceptions.
What if you’re afraid to teach your kids about sex because you feel ashamed or guilty about your past?
Romans 8:1 says that there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. If God has forgiven you, then you need to let His forgiveness in to clear your heart and mind and not block it with your guilt, shame or self-hatred. If you don’t accept God’s forgiveness, you’ll miss an opportunity to testify to your kids about how God forgives and how we can be set free from guilt and shame.
What if you don’t know what the Bible says about sex?
This is a common question. There are a lot of people who are confused about what the Bible does and doesn’t teach about sex. Now, there are an endless list of resources and perspectives. Here is a “starter” list for adults who want to learn more. You’re welcome to share your suggestion on the blog page.
SHARE YOUR FEEDBACK! How taught you about sex? If you are a parent, how did you teach your daughters about sex? Are there any resources that you’d recommend?
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by Barb Roose | Jan 24, 2018 | Better Together Podcast, Women's Topics
I grew up in a family of fabulous singers. But, I am not one of them…
My grandmother traveled with a gospel choir and played as the church pianist for at least 20 years. I grew up watching my mom and aunts sing, too. Their voices are powerful, beautiful and amazing.. They can blow! If we’re friends on social media, you’ve seen photos of my sister, Tonya, who is an opera singer. Watching to her perform always bring a smile to my face that lasts far after her performance is over.
You might be wondering if I can sing. The answer is…meh.
If you happen to pull your car up next to mine in traffic, I guarantee that I’m singing in the car. I am an awesome car singer. The acoustics are wonderful for my marginal vocal ability. If I turn up the radio high enough, I sound exactly like the vocalists in the song. If I turn off the radio and keep singing, just be happy that my windows are up.
In my 20’s I struggled with my less-than-super singing. Since I was from a singing family, having an okay singing voice wasn’t good enough when everyone around me sounded so great.
To increase my confidence, I took voice lessons in my mid-20’s. I felt better when I sang on my ensemble church worship team. But as soon as I had to sing on my own, my confidence faltered and my voice always fell flat. I often wanted to run off the stage and hide. Oh, how I used to beat myself up! Why couldn’t I keep my confidence?
Do you ever struggle with your confidence?
I love it when women tell me their dreams. Some women desire certain job or career title. I get frequent emails from women who want to write or speak. Having a dream is a good thing! But, what do you do when you dream is undermined by your lack of confidence? Some of us have a Debbie Downer living in the dirty corner of our mind telling us things like:
“You don’t belong…”
“She’s more talented than you…”
“Why do you think that you’re special…”
“If you fail, everyone will laugh…”
Six Words to Say to Yourself
Yesterday, I finished Lynn Cowell’s new Bible study, Make Your Move: Finding Unshakeable Confidence Despite Your Fears and Failures. Lynn is a speaker and author who writes and speaks to equip mothers with wisdom so that those mamas can raise wiser daughters. Her six-week Bible study featured weekly profiles of six groups of women in the Bible and lessons in Christ-Courage and confidence, like Shiprah and Puah, the two Hebrew women who refused to follow the Pharoah’s order to kill infants like Moses.
One of my favorite moments was studying Deborah, one of Israel’s judges. Not only was she assigned to be God’s spokesperson to Israel, but she’d received a gigantic assignment: to instruct the Israelites during battle. Just to be clear, Deborah was a judge, not a warrior. But, she went because that is what God called her to do.
As I studied her story a few weeks ago, I was pushing to finish my new book, Winning the Worry Battle. It’s been a tough few months writing back-to-back projects, losing my dad, traveling and then moving through the editing process. For the first few weeks of January, I felt like I was fisting-fighting the Debbie Downer in my mind because I was mentally worn out from the past few months of life. What if you flake out and don’t finish? What if your writing isn’t any good? What if no one buys it?
But, as I studied Deborah, she speaks six words that immediately refilled my soul.
In Judges 5, Deborah and Barak sing a song of victory after winning the battle. As they sing over defeating their enemies, Deborah slips in six powerful words. They are tucked into verse 21:
The Kishon River swept them away—
that ancient torrent, the Kishon.
March on with courage, my soul!.
– Judges 5:21
Did you see those precious words: “March on with courage, my soul!”?
I’ve read, remembered and breathed those words at least a hundred times in the past three weeks. There’s are two powerful lessons for us to remember when we’re under pressure and questioning whether we can actually do what God’s called us to do.
First, Deborah knew how to encourage herself when she needed it. Her encouragement fueled her confidence.
Second, if we trust and know what God has called us to do, let’s stop undermining our confidence while we’re doing it.
How can you encourage yourself today?
- Do I even need to say this? Stop calling yourself names like stupid, idiot, worthless or loser! Those names are not helpful and they will hurt your confidence. As I wrote in my Enough Already book, “Beating yourself up won’t change a thing!”
- Learn how to become a rock star at encouraging yourself. Encouraging yourself is not prideful! The Bible is filled with proclamations of God’s everlasting love for us. Even when we mess up, God loves us. Whispering phrases like, “I made a mistake, but I’m not a mistake,” “I can keep going because God will help me” and “I am not alone, God is with me” – these are how we keep our confidence. Can you start saying these phrases to yourself?
So, how does my story end?
After a few years of constant confidence struggles, I finally stopped singing. I’d taken a temporary break to give birth to my now 17-year daughter. By the time I was ready to begin serving at church again, the music team had re-organized and I found a new ministry where God began to lay the foundation for the work that He’s given me to do today.
Once I began following my natural gifts and talents, I found peace. Not only that, but I could learn and grow with so much freedom. Confidence came from being who God called me to be! I love Lynn’s words in the study. She writes, “We each have different gifts, talents and callings. I am simply a woman doing the assignments God gives to me.
Whatever God has called you to do in this season of life matters, my friend. You don’t need to compare yourself to what the women around you are doing because you’ve got your own amazing work to do. Whether you’re raising your children, working your 9-5 or caring for your parents, confidence comes from knowing that you’re doing the best at what God calls you to do.
Creating a conversation around Christ-confidence is such a vital discussion. Check out Lynn’s Bible study by clicking here. You can also listen to my recent podcast with Lynn by clicking the audio player below:
SHARE YOUR STORY: What are some of the lessons that you’ve learned about being a confident woman?
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by Barb Roose | Jan 8, 2018 | Better Together Podcast
What do you do when you hear a child say negative things like, “I’m stupid,” “I suck,” “I can’t do anything right,” or “I’m worthless”?
It’s a new year and new episodes of the Better Together podcast! Today’s episode is a critical conversation for all parents and anyone with influence in a child, teen or young adult’s life.
Here’s our question: How do we teach a child to get back up again emotionally after getting knocked down by failure, a mistake, bullying or careless words?
There’s one skill that we must teach our kids because it’s not a skill that they learn naturally. Unfortunately, it’s a skill that too many adults don’t know how to use either. But, we can learn!
Today’s Better Together Podcast guest is marriage and family expert, Kim Fredrickson. She’s the author of the new book, Give Your Kids a Break: Parenting with Compassion for You and Your Children. You are invited to be part of this critical dialogue that’s needed now, more than ever!
Here’s what you’ll learn about today:
- Why self-compassion is the key to bouncing back quickly from mistakes;
- How to use the language of self-compassion;
- The important difference between self-compassion and self-pity;
- Compassionate words to say to yourself as a parent when you make a mistake with your kids
I’m passionate about today’s conversation because I’ve read Kim’s books and I use the language of self-compassion with myself. Self-compassion helps me to get to the heart of my mistakes, own my mistakes, overcome any shame or guilt and not beat myself up.
After you listen to today’s podcast, I’m going to ask you to do the following:
First, share this episode with your mom and dad friends. Everyone needs to hear this message. Second, get Kim’s book, Give Your Kids a Break, for more practical advice and help. She has a 1-2-3 Start List for beginning the self-compassion conversation with your kids.
Links from today’s show
Kim’s website (You can find her on social media from her website.)
Give Your Kids a Break by Kim Fredrickson
Give Yourself a Break by Kim Fredrickson (download first chapter for free!)
CONVERSATION TIME! What did you hear on Kim’s podcast that you helped you or encouraged you? Leave a comment below!
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