by Barb Roose | Sep 10, 2015 | Women's Topics
You hate shopping? You’re not alone!
“Getting half-naked in front of the dressing room mirror intimidates me.”
“I don’t know what looks good on me.”
“I’ll go shopping after I lose some weight.”
“I just don’t like my body.”
Are you unhappy with your current wardrobe situation? Do you have clothes in your closet with the tags still on? It’s no wonder that so many awaken to the dreaded daily question: “What am I going to wear today?” I think this is why we embrace yoga pants or sweats. We worship that stretchy material that slides over everything we hate about our size and shape. We know that those stretchy black and gray pants aren’t flattering, but when our other choices are naked or frustrated tears, we’ll choose stretchy pants every time.
This is how shopping feels sometimes, right?
Why the despair? What do we really want from our clothes, ladies? There are two things that we want from our clothes: We want our clothes to look good on us and we want our clothes to feel like us. When we get dressed, we want our clothes to feel as natural on our bodies as our skin does and our clothes should be a reflection of who we are on the inside. When that doesn’t happen, our clothes can feel like they suffocating us. No one wants to feel suffocated in her clothes.
We all face different clothing challenges. Some of you are petite. Others of you struggle with difficult proportions. Some of you lament your stick-straight profile and wish that people would stop telling you how lucky you are that you are so thin. Me? I’ve got my own issues. I’m 5’ 10” with long legs and big curves on the top and bottom. I know what it means to have clothing challenges!
Why does it matter what you wear?
Think about your favorite (non-stretchy pants) outfit? In fact, if you can, go put it on. How does wearing that outfit make you feel? You stand a little taller, right? It’s easier to smile. Your eyes shine brighter and you feel more open to giving to the world around you. You feel like your best YOU. When you put on clothes that are the proper size, flatter shape and right style, everything about who you are on the inside translates on the outside.
Don’t write off that last sentence off as superficial or shallow. It’s not shallow to realize that when we invest the time into discovering our proper size, shape and style, that we walk stronger, taller and more confident as our authentic selves.
Why it only takes me five minutes to get dressed each morning…
I’m not a fashion professional. I haven’t had any formal training, but I do know how to buy clothes that are the proper size, flattering shape and reflect my natural style. As a result, it only takes me about five minutes to get dressed each morning, including shoes and accessories. Yes, five minutes. Which is good because I’m a night person and mornings are really rough for me.
Once I get dressed, I don’t think about what I’m wearing the rest of the day. I rarely look at a mirror unless I’m shooting a video or someone tells me that I’ve got food on my shirt, which happens frequently. What I love about feeling confident after I get dressed is that I don’t feel self-conscious. Also, my mental energy isn’t depleted by lingering doubts about how I look or how people think I look. In fact, when I feel good, then I am more likely to connect with others. It’s easier to give of myself when I feel good about me.
Three Promises I Made to Myself…
Would you believe that I’ve had that blazer for over 15 years? It used to be part of a suit that I paid $79.00 on clearance. That necklace was a $30 splurge for a special event in New York City, but I’ve been able to wear it often to add a little pop to simple garments like that plain white shirt.
After years of hating to shop and feeling badly in everything I wore, I decided to live by these three clothing promises:
- I would only purchase clothing or shoes that I absolutely, positively loved.
- I would only purchase items that looked great on me. Not good, but great.
- If something in my closet didn’t fit, I would get rid of it.
These three promises have simplified one of the most complicated decisions in my life – what I wear every day. Every morning, I have a 100% chance that I will feel great in what I am wearing. My closet is blessedly uncomplicated and I avoid feeling the pressure to keep buying clothes because what I own is already enough.
InStyle’s Social Media Assistant Editor, Jennifer Davis’ black dress
These shopping promises also mean that I can shop less. I don’t need to have overflowing closets of clothes. That’s right, you don’t need lots of clothes! InStyle’s Assistant Social Media Editor, Jennifer Davis1, wore the same little black dress for five work days and no one in her fashion-conscious office noticed. She mixed different accessories and layering options and no one ever knew that she repeated the same basic dress all week. Jennifer demonstrated how looking great isn’t about having more clothes or expensive clothes, but knowing how to mix and match what’s already there.
And, when I don’t love something anymore or it stops fitting like it used to, I don’t get emotional because I have lots of other things that I love. But, I do give it away. (By the way, I do own sweatpants and there are days when I want to wear them. In fact, while writing this article, I’m wearing sweats right now!)
Some of you feel intimidated or overwhelmed at the time and effort it will take to discover what is right for you. Yes, it will take an investment of time. However, you’ll end up saving hundreds of hours of frustration at the store or in your closet in the future. Once you know what you look great in, you won’t waste time or money buying things that make you less than beautiful.
Three Practical Tips for Your Current Closet
- Try on everything in your closet. I mean everything! Don’t be emotional about it. If you can’t fit something over your knees, slip it back off quickly and move on. You must control your thoughts and don’t let your clothes become a judge of your self-worth. You are more than your clothes! You are awesome! Keep repeating that to yourself!
- Divide your clothes and shoes into in two
piles: things that fit your proper size, have a flattering shape and style and then a pile for everything else. If you aren’t sure, ask yourself: Does this look and feel like me? Do I smile when I have this on?
- Let go of everything that doesn’t look or feel like you. Trust me. You won’t be
left naked. Let it go! Box it up and donate it. If you’re about to hyperventilate at the thought of doing this, invite a friend over to help you through this process.
I really wanted to buy this sweater – especially since I had a gift card! I tried this sweater on two different occasions. It was the right size and style, but the shape just wasn’t right for my body. So, I didn’t buy. And I don’t regret it!
Four Practical Tips For When You Do Need to Shop
- Let Your Clothes Be Your Guide – Review the pile of clothes that you love. Assess the colors, sizes, shape and style. Take pictures of your favorite shirts, pants and dresses. When you recognize the clothes that look good and makes you smile, then your shopping goal is to mimic what already works for you.
- Shop by Label – Look at the labels of the clothes that you already own and love. Shop at the stores that carry those labels. When it’s time to shop, go to those stores and start with trying on those labels first. You’ll get an extra boost of confidence knowing that that you’ve experienced success with that clothing brand. It will also reduce the amount of intimidation that you face when you walk into the store and see thousands of possibilities.
- Grab three sizes! We’ve got to make peace with the fact that clothing sizes aren’t consistent. You’ve just got to make peace with that. When I find an item, I grab the size that I think I wear as well as one size smaller and bigger. I try on all three without looking at the size. Then, I pick the one that fits best and makes me feel great about how I look! The feeling that I get from how I look that garment is much more satisfying than any shame or sadness over the number on the tag. No one knows what size you are unless you tell them, BUT they will notice if your clothes are too big or way too small.
- Listen to people – When you receive a compliment on an outfit, pay attention! Don’t brush off compliments or diminish them! Look that wonderful person in the eye and thank them. Compliments mean that you are moving about the world as your truest self and that’s a good thing!
I’d love your feedback! Did you try any of these clothing tips? How did you get through the process? Did you buy anything new? If so, let us see it!
If you enjoyed this post, please share it with your friends! Hit the share buttons at the top or bottom of this post. Friends love friends who love and encourage them!
Source: http://news.instyle.com/2014/12/30/i-tried-it-i-wore-the-same-little-black-dress-for-a-week/
by Barb Roose | Sep 3, 2015 | Reflections, Women's Topics
Yesterday, I had the privilege of sitting across from a lovely woman and hear the dream that’s been growing in her heart for years. I watched her face light up and I listened to the words that come from the bravest who dream big:
“I hope…”
“I wish…”
“I think I can…”
I love dreams. But, dreams are scary. When we dream, we also fear that it won’t come true. For some of us, that fear eats our dreams before we ever get the chance to enjoy them. At our church, we’ve got a new series coming up titled #FAILPROOF – a series about how we can push past the fear that keeps us from living out God-sized dreams. Our fear of failure paralyzes us, doesn’t it? I hate failure. I hate feeling like a failure. In fact, once upon a time, the fear of failure almost got me…
Did you know that I wrote a book that never got published?
About 10 years before my Enough Already book, I wrote a fiction book that is still sitting on the shelf in my bedroom. I tried to get it published, but it didn’t work out. It was rejected and that rejection hurt. For a long time, I didn’t want to write a book because I didn’t want to be rejected ever again. Yet, I kept that book because it eventually taught me a lesson about dreams: A dream is precious and can be celebrated, even if it doesn’t become all that I hoped it to be.
That dream didn’t come true, but it did serve a purpose in my life.
A few years later, God sent me a new dream as well as divine timing. That new dream grew into my Enough Already book. It was a costly dream, but that’s what making dreams-come-true is all about. Dreams ain’t easy, friends. And if it is, then it isn’t a real dream.
What are you dreaming about? Have you been holding onto a dream, but unsure what to do?
I’d love permission to encourage you today with a few suggestions:
- Tell someone. Dreams are hard, but there are some dreams that we make harder than they need to be. Let’s face it, some of your dreams, like repairing a relationship or getting out of debt – those dreams feel impossible as long as they are in your head. You’ve got to tell someone about your dream! For some of you, this will require courage, but I know you can do it! Pick someone you TRUST and lay it on them, but don’t expect them to do anything other than listen.
- Give your dream time to grow into reality. I finished my first book in 2004, but I didn’t publish my first solo book until 2015. So, what did I do during all of those unpublished years? I wrote. A lot. I prepared while I waited. So should you.
- Make an Ask. Be specific about what kind of help that you need, but don’t expect someone to work your dream. As a wise consultant and friend keeps saying, “Healthy people know how to ask for what they want, even if they don’t always get it.” (Now, before you all write me to ask for help about publishing a book, I’m still trying to figure it all out!)
- Take responsibility for your dream. A dream is like a baby. You’ve got to nurture it, direct it, reposition it and most of all, take responsible for the good, the bad and the ugly that happens when dreams become reality. Don’t orphan your dream when it gets shaky or off-course, stay with it!
A message for those who’ve stopped dreaming…
Life happens. We fail. We get beat up. Sometimes, we want to give up. Don’t give up on dreaming!
I don’t know why you’ve stopped dreaming, but I know what it feels like to be dream-less: it feels like death. In fact, there’s a verse in the Old Testament that I’m paraphrasing: “Without a vision (dream), the people will perish (die).” Without a dream, there’s part of you that feels like it’s dying inside.
So, what do you do? How can you start to dream again? Here’s a tip: Find someone with a dream and help him or her fulfill it. As you get involved in their dream, it will boost your confidence to begin to dream again for yourself.
Dream on, friends. It’s time for your dream ON!
Do you have a dream that you are ready to share? If you could do anything and knew you couldn’t fail, what would you do? Share your dream in the comments for us to cheer you on! If you think that this post would bless your friends, use the share buttons below.
Thanks for stopping by today! By the way, my new online magazine, FancyPants, launches on September 15 for barbroose.com subscribers ONLY. Each month, I’ll be sharing my favorite fashion stuff, style news and beautiful stuff for your faith and soul. Subscribe so that I can send you FancyPants each month!
by Barb Roose | Aug 27, 2015 | Uncategorized
We women don’t want to stop at just looking good – we want to smell good, too! As a matter of fact, an entire industry has been created to cater to that desire. Walk by any department store perfume counter, and you will see exotic names that promise romance, intrigue, mystique, and so much more: Endless Euphoria, Spellbound, Beyond Paradise, Pleasure, and Viva La Juicy, to name a few.
As a 13-year-old girl, I remember the awakening of my “feminine mystique.” I heard that every woman should have a signature fragrance – one that would speak of her essence and create a fragrant identity. I chose a perfume named “Wind Song.” It advertised, “Your Wind Song stays on his mind.” As a boy-crazy teenager, I was all about that!
Kathy Ptaszek (pronounced tay-zack) loves people and is known for her warmth and the ability to connect with audiences of all ages. She has spoken to thousands of women at retreats, as well as community and church events throughout Michigan, Ohio, Wisconsin, Minnesota and Colorado for over 40 years.
Change and loss have been a part of Kathy’s journey. Her husband Jon died in 1991, leaving her to single-parent their daughters, Aimee and Molly, who were ages 11 and 13 at the time. Through it all, she is convinced of the goodness and sovereignty of God. She found Him faithful in the darkest storms of life. She chose Psalm 66:16 as her purpose for speaking and writing:
When I shared that story years later, a friend laughed and said, “Oh, Honey! You were so innocent! If I had a signature fragrance in my youth, it would’ve been ‘My Sin’ by Lanvin!”
When my daughters were in high school, we shared a bottle of Calvin Klein’s CK-One. Once as a friend climbed into the car with the three of us, he sniffed the air appreciatively, and said, “That’s the Ptaszek women’s smell!” Signature fragrance? Nailed it!
I must admit that I still enjoy hearing someone say, “O-o-o-oh, you smell good!” However, although I do occasionally wear perfume, these days the scent that I hope would be my signature fragrance doesn’t come in a bottle, and no amount of money can buy it – it’s the fragrance of Christ. My desire is that as someone spends time in my air space, it would be the sweet aroma of Jesus in me that stays on their mind.
2 Corinthians 2:14-15 NIV says, “But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ, and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life.”
What is the fragrance of Christ? English theologian F. B. Meyer said, “Wrap the habits of your soul in the sweet lavender of the Lord’s character.” If there is any fragrance more delightful than lavender, would someone please tell me! Whether it’s in candles, sachets, lotions or scented soap, I cannot inhale lavender deeply enough. Better than lavender, I think Jesus emitted the sweet aroma of grace.
When Philip Yancey was doing research for his best seller, What’s So Amazing About Grace?, he surveyed strangers by asking, “What comes to mind when I say ‘evangelical Christians?’” Not one person gave a description that sounded anything like grace. Yancey concluded, “Apparently, that is not the aroma Christians, in general, give off in the world.” Sisters in Christ – let that NOT be said of us!
How do we put on the fragrance of Christ? Have you ever hugged someone, and then realized that the scent of their perfume or aftershave lingers on you? Let it be the habit of your soul to press in close to Jesus. Embrace Him by spending time in God’s Word. Pray that God will make you more like Jesus: grace-filled, merciful, peace loving, humble, servant-like, nonjudgmental, compassionate, and forgiving. The world is hungry for these things! People will want to be in your air space if you are giving off “the sweet lavender of the Lord’s character.”
Photo credit: Kathy Ptaszek
Photo credit: Kathy Ptasek
Photo credit: Kathy Ptaszek
You might want to consider finding another woman whom you’ve noticed spreading the fragrance of Christ, and asking her to mentor you. Ask her how she got what she has. Be willing to cultivate the spiritual disciplines that will help you get to know Jesus better and love Him in a deeper way.
It is said, “You are known by the company you keep.” Keep company with Jesus, and it will show! The apostles did, and the religious leaders “were astonished, and they took note that these men had been with Jesus” (Acts 4:13b)
One day in church, as the service ended, a college student put her head on my shoulder and began to sob. Sitting under secular professors had taken its toll. She said, “I don’t know what I believe anymore, but I see Jesus in you – He’s so real in your life.” She saw Jesus. She smelled the sweet fragrance of Him, and it melted her heart.
Let the fragrance of Jesus be your signature fragrance. May it be the sweet smell of grace that makes people exclaim, “O-o-o-oh, you smell good!”
Kathy, thank you so much for sharing such tremendous inspiration and wisdom with us! Ladies, I encourage you to check out Kathy’s blog, Holy Ground All Around and follow her on Facebook. She’s been a friend of mine for many years and I’ve been so blessed by her wisdom and faith. Thanks for stopping by today! You can share your thoughts with Kathy by leaving a comment below and you can share this post with your friends by hitting the share buttons. Have a great day, ladies!
by Barb Roose | Aug 20, 2015 | Christian Living/Discipleship, Women's Topics
I’m Gaby Muñoz, I live in Guatemala and I’m the head of FaithSeeds, an organization dedicated to help children and break the cycle of poverty through love and education. My greatest dream is to build two schools and a shelter for the orphans, widows, and abandoned women. I love reading and dancing.
I never considered myself normal. I’ve never been someone that fit in the popular crowd. And I love it.
When I was young, I was the good kid with the best grades in school, so, of course, my parents were always proud of me. I came to Jesus when I was sixteen, because I was craving God. I wanted to know Him, to know if He was real.
At 17, I graduated high school. I was popular because I had the best grades, not because I was cool. I had already decided to save my first kiss for my husband, and I knew I was not going to get married while I was a teenager. So I had no problem staying away from boyfriend issues until I was twenty-two years old. By then, I was in business school, I was one of the youth leaders at church, and I was working as my pastor’s secretary. Life was good. Still I was after Jesus; I just knew there was more of Him.
So, I met this guy. He was a little shy, kind, very nice. As extra bonus, he was super cute. We became friends. Then, we developed feelings for each other. Still, I didn’t want a relationship though. I was waiting for the one I would marry, but I couldn’t deny my feelings for him. I don’t know how it happened, but he became very demanding about my looks. My features are not that of a skinny girl. They never have been, but I was okay with it. Every time we talked, he would ask me to go on a diet or to go to the gym; he thought I needed to lose weight. Then my closest friends joined him.
Gaby working with some of the kids through her organization, Faithseeds.
By the time I turned 24, I started to think that “the one” for me would never show up because I was fat. I believed that my friends and that guy were right; I needed to lose weight in order to be beautiful.
As a coincidence, I met this lady at the bus stop who happened to sell certain products to lose weight. They were very expensive, but I tried them. In two months, I lost 18 pounds. I started dropping sizes and everyone noticed how attractive I looked! This lady said I shouldn’t use the product anymore. According to her, I looked good already, so losing more weight wouldn’t be good for me.
However, I then had some guys interested in me and I liked the feeling. So, I couldn’t afford the risk of getting fat again. That’s when I decided to stop eating.
I got so obsessed that I thought that a glass of water would make me gain weight. My temper changed. I was grumpy all the time, and I learned to lie. When my friends would ask me if I ate, I told them I ate at home.
One day, my mom told me that my dad was crying the night before because he thought I might have issues with anorexia. God knows how I love my parents, so the fact that my dad was sad made me miserable. Of course, I denied it to my mom. I told her they were crazy and I felt bad about that. So, I decided to start eating again for them. However, I couldn’t stand the idea of having food in my body. First I tried throwing up, but I hated it. Then, I was introduced to the world of laxatives. I started using laxatives in a very abusive way to get rid of the food I ate.
I kept dropping weight and I looked terrible. Yet, every time I looked at myself in the mirror, in my head I looked obese. Deep inside I knew what I was doing to myself, but I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t eat; food was the most disgusting thing to me. I started losing my hair and my period stopped, but I just couldn’t eat. I wanted to be able to eat and not take laxatives, but it was stronger than me.
One night I felt so guilty. I prayed, “Jesus, if you are there and you can hear me, please help me get out of this.” But nothing changed. Then, one day I found the courage to confess to my mom. We both cried, and she encouraged me to hold on onto Jesus for this. She said they missed my joyfulness. They were worried about me because I looked like a walking bunch of bones.
At the city dump, Gaby serves one of the precious children that she works with in her organization.
My mom talked to my family and friends, and they all started a “Let’s save Gaby plan.” They called me often just to tell me I didn’t need to be skinny to be loved. There was always someone with me; they didn’t even let me go to the bathroom without someone waiting for me at the door. Somehow, it made me see that I was loved, and that made me want to stop. That is why I say that “Love rescued me.” It was a lot of prayer and love that gave me the strength to fight the voices in my head.
I went to the doctor and praise God, almost everything was normal. However, my stomach and my intestines were very hurt. My family and friends were very patient with me eating little by little again. Slowly, I started to heal. I felt forgiven by Jesus and by the people I love, but it took me a long time to forgive myself. I felt stupid knowing I could have diet and that I hurt my family and friends. Above all, I struggled with knowing that I had hurt Jesus. It took me about five years to heal emotionally.
I still struggle with the “beauty” subject. It’s been ten years since my battle with anorexia, but it is a constant battle in my soul. Now, as time has passed and my sweet Papa God has made His plans known to me – plans for me to rescue children from garbage dumps in my Guatemala. I’m here to fight for them to have a future worthy of a child of God. I want to be a part of changing their destinies for the glory of my Father. Now, I understand that the Enemy will always do all he can to stop the plans and purposes of God in our lives. He almost got me, but Jesus in His mercy rescued me with His love, and He is rescuing His precious children now.
Another one of the children that Gaby serves. God’s given her a dream to bring hope and life to those children.
One morning, while I was praying, Papa God told me to read Psalm 96. There’s one verse that talks about the beauty of a holy life, and it hit me. Then he led me to Psalm 45, which says that “The King is in awe of your beauty” and I got i!
I am beautiful to Him.
I am cherished and loved.
My precious children in the communities will come to me saying I am the prettiest girl, the most beautiful princess in the world. I think God does that because He knows I need that. I can’t imagine the number of people that die every day because of anorexia and bulimia. It hurts to know the number of purposes that are stopped because people choose it. I know that Jesus never wanted me to go through that. It was my choice; I chose to believe those lies.
I know now, though those thoughts still come to my mind, above all, I am beautiful – not because of myself, but because I was wonderfully made by the best artist. I am beautiful because of a beautiful Holy Spirit living inside of me. His plans are perfect, His timing is perfect, and His creation is perfect.
Thanks Gaby for sharing your story! I know that you encouraged and inspired many reading today! Friends, share this post and encourage someone today! Also, Click here if you’d like to find out more about Gaby’s organization, Faithseeds.
Blessings,
by Barb Roose | Aug 3, 2015 | Christian Living/Discipleship, Women's Topics
Ladies, what words do you use to describe yourself in the mirror? Does it matter what you say to yourself?
It’s tough out there, isn’t it, ladies? As much as we love social media, we don’t love the constant barrage of culture telling us how we should look. There are a lot of “mirrors” out there. Lots of people with opinions about our size, shape and style. I can pick up one magazine that tells me young and thin is in, then click over to Buzzeed for the 25 reasons why having junk in my trunk is amazing. So many conflicting messages about beauty! Do you ever feel like you are stuck in the middle of something, but you don’t know which side to take?
Even Angelina struggles with beauty…
Angelina Jolie (credit to filmrise.com/getty images)
Actress Angelina Jolie is one of the one of the most recognizable and photographed women in the world. She appears in movies, magazines and tabloid publications on a regular basis. Angelina’s face, body and weight undergo constant scrutiny by anyone and everyone who feels the need to chime into the discussion. So, what does this famous woman think of all of the attention paid to her appearance? Does the fact that our culture considers her beautiful have any impact on her personal opinion of herself?
Here are some quotes that I found online from Angelina:
“I don’t see myself as beautiful, because I can see a lot of flaws. People have really odd opinions. They tell me I’m skinny, as if that’s supposed to make me happy.”
“I’m odd looking. Sometimes I think I look like a funny muppet.”
“I struggle with low self-esteem all the time. I think everyone does. I have so much wrong with me, it’s unbelievable.”
These quotes are not chronological and I don’t know in what context they were spoken. Even Angelina can have a few bad days. However, I think they demonstrate that even a woman plastered all over dozens of international magazine covers can think and feel the very same things that you do.
What fascinates me about women is that we would never criticize our friends the way that we harangue ourselves. Imagine the following dialogue:
“Hi Jessica.”
“Hello, Emily. How are you today?”
“I’m fine. But, honey, do you realize that your legs look like a sausage rolls stuffed in those jeans. Oh, and that muffin top? Girl, you look like a breakfast combination from Jimmy Dean.”
That conversation would never happen between friends. (If it does, you may want to rethink that friendship.) Yet, we engage in that kind of dialogue with ourselves every time we look into the mirror. Unfortunately, our mirrors have become an accessory to our campaign of self-condemnation and self-doubt. Too often we use our mirrors to confirm what culture says is wrong with our size, shape or style.
Why does it matter if we believe that we are beautiful?
It’s so easy to criticize ourselves in the mirror and photos. But, for this photo, I admit that I laughed pretty hard once I saw that fu-man-chu mustache!
We must understand what happens when we allow our feelings about our physical flaws undermine our true value. We’ll see how dangerous and hurtful it is for us to believe the ugly lie that we cannot be beautiful.
In my 2013 Created with Curves survey, I asked over 500 women the following open-ended question: “When you look into the mirror, what are some of the words you’ve used to describe yourself?” Here are some of the positive responses:
Gorgeous and blessed! Voluptuous! Precious as rubies. Woman of color
I’m beautiful, amazing, lovely, God-fearing, blessed, overcomer and a role-model
Strong and independent
I’m beautiful, confident and radiant
Strong, athletic, driven
Those are some fantastic responses! We love it when a woman feels good about herself in the mirror, but secretly, we really want that woman to be US!
Here’s another set of responses that women gave:
Ordinary, plain, nothing special
Fat. Ugly. Undesirable.
Gross. Why. Ehh, its okay. Fat. Ugly.
Flabby, dorky, let myself go…
Overweight, need to work on my abs
Hideous, disgrace, waste
Any of these words should familiar to you? The #1 word that women used to describe themselves in the survey was fat. In fact, only 6.7% of women used the word beautiful to describe themselves.
I actually broke down in sobs when I read the survey report. I was so thankful for the raw honesty, but that same honesty tore my heart out as well. But, does it matter that we say those words in the mirror? YES! The impact of those words and those beliefs are felt in many ways.
When we don’t believe that we are beautiful:
…We shrink back,
…We hold back,
…We don’t speak up,
…We hide behind,
…We avoid.
…We struggle to connect.
I’m not against the beauty industry. As soon as I publish this post, I”m going to put on some cute clothes and make-up. But, hair and make-up aren’t the cause of our issues. We’ve done this to ourselves. We’ve given others the power over our understanding and definition of beauty. Our culture has created a financially-driven faux beauty standard that smacks us around every time we pick up a magazine. It’s no surprise that we feel like we are losing. Our ugly struggle with beauty remains a dark, silent cloud hanging above our lives. We don’t like to acknowledge it, but it hovers over us when we look in the mirror and throughout the day when we want to live fully, not we don’t feel like we are enough so we back off.
Here’s the beautiful truth that pertains to you…
Here’s one thought that I’d like to share with you today. It’s a simple thought, but it can change how you see yourself – and others. That simple thought is this: You are beautiful because God created you.
Repeat that to yourself a few times. Just let your mouth and mind get the feel for those words:
“I am beautiful because God created me.”
For some, these words might be hard to choke out. Say it anyways. Some of you don’t believe them. Repeat it anyways.
Yes, our culture has tried to define beauty and convince us that their definition is right. But, here’s the thing: God trumps culture. So, IMO God’s definition of beauty is the only one that matters. So, let me draw the dots really close together on this one:
1. God created you.
2. The scriptures say that everything that God makes is “towb” which is the Hebrew word for “beautiful.”
3. So, if God created you, then you are beautiful. Another way of saying it: You are beautiful because God created you.
That is truth. Embrace it. Live it. Share it with other women that you know.
Thanks for stopping by! I hope that this post encouraged your heart and life today. If so, feel free to share this with your friends by clicking the share buttons at the top. By the way, some of today’s content came from my new book, Enough Already: Winning Your Ugly Struggle with Beauty, Chapter 4: Flaw Finding. Click here to find out more about my book and the special Kindle pricing!
