by Barb Roose | Jul 10, 2013 | Christian Living/Discipleship
I’m finally back in the air again.Today, I am traveling to Spartanburg, South Carolina via Greenville (or Greensboro – not sure which one because I haven’t be able to keep all of the “Green–” cities straight.)My flight left Detroit on schedule at 2:15pm this afternoon. Just prior to lift off, I do what I always do on flights: I went to sleep. I was having a great nap until the pilot’s voice broke through my semi-conscious state and informed us that our plane was returning to Detroit for mechanical repairs. Since I am a big fan of not crashing, I went along with the pilot’s plan.Ninety minutes later, we are back in the air. Once we could power up our electronics, I figured I would distract myself from additional concerns by writing to you. So, this experience got me to thinking…
As much as we hate to admit it, life is much more interesting when there is a “war” story – like when things don’t go as planned – or they go worse than expected. Yes, we hate the way those moment feels, but how often do those difficult moments bring out the very best in us and in others?
This is the way I thought today would go: drive to the airport, fly to SC, pick up my rental, drive to the hotel, eat a salad and take a long, hot, relaxing bath.
Nope. Not gonna happen. Here’s the actual version as I think it’s gonna go down: take off from Detroit, fly around for a little while, return to Detroit, PRAY FOR REALLY SMART MAINTENANCE GUYS, take off from Detroit, pray during turbulence, land really late in SC, go to hotel, eat some pretzels and fall asleep exhausted with my clothes on. (Update: I did end up getting a salad and a bath…)
If we’re being honest, wouldn’t you admit that the second scenario is much more interesting than the first? Absolutely! Why?
We think we want problem-free life with only smoooooth sailing. Or, do we? I don’t think so.
I’ve been to a number of NASCAR races over the years. Yes, I watch NASCAR. Think about this, if Dale Jr., Kurt Busch, Jimmy Johnson or Matt Kenseth were only going 50 mph top speed around the track, NASCAR would be a snore. No one wants to watch people racing at normal speed! NASCAR encompasses so many metaphors for life – drivers push the limits of speed and risk. In each race there are winners, losers, crashes, cautions, debris, etc. Kinda reminds you of life, doesn’t it?
There is no love without risk, likewise, there is no hope without faith. Success doesn’t happen without sweat. Ultimately, living on the cliff of uncertainty is where the best of life happens.
For me, sometimes living as a person of faith kinda feels like living on the cliff of uncertainty…it’s thrilling, but terrifying at the same time.
I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to “walk by faith.” This is a phrase from the Bible that characterizes the kind of life that I want to live. Recently, I realized that there is a cliff of uncertainty in my life and I need to really focus on “walking by faith.” For me, “faith” isn’t a hallow term, rather “faith” is an unwavering conviction in my life based on personal experience rather than feel-good emotions. (If you want to know more, inbox me on Facebook or email me, I’d love to converse.)
Part of “walking by faith” means that there are going to be a lot of twists and turns in the journey of my life. On face value, there are going to be moments that seem like I’m winning, others where I am definitely losing and a lot of complexities woven throughout.
Yet, when I remember the journey I have had so far, God has created a path so much richer than the outline I would have created for myself.
So, I am going to dedicate myself to remembering that even though I know the end of my life’s story, today, I will choose to trust in a God that knows all the unknown ups and downs between now and then.
By the way, Matt Kenseth is my driver. Since my NASCAR-loving hubby’s name is Matt, he thinks that’s hot.
by Barb Roose | Jul 6, 2013 | Reflections
My dog, Quimby and I were out on a walk. I was preoccupied with dark thoughts of disappointment and frustrations while Quimby checked the neighborhood canine newsfeed along the trees.
As we walked down the street next to ours, my eyes focused on a particular home. I quickly remembered a date: June 6. The front door swung open and my eyes shifted. I saw a couple walking down the sidewalk toward their car. I only speak to them once every few years or so. It happened that today would be one of those days. I took a deep breath and spoke: “Excuse me.”
As the couple turned, I felt uncharacteristically bashful, but pressed on: “I just wanted you to know that at this time every year, I remember your daughter.”
Their daughter, Ellie, passed away in early June about 10 or so years ago. Ellie was only eight or nine – the age of my oldest daughter. On our nightly family walk, I would see her parents sitting on their front porch next to Ellie in her wheelchair. Her body slowly draining from the tumor that was ending her life.
We didn’t know their family well, actually, but we heard stories of Ellie’s funeral. A neighbor told me that Ellie’s mother, an school administrator, wanted an over-the-top celebration her daughter’s short life because Ellie would not have a graduation party or wedding to plan for.
A mother’s greatest fear is the loss of a child. Out of that nightmare and through the tears, Ellie’s mother birthed a celebration, complete with beautiful white doves. And I have quietly admired her all of these years for her strength and determination.
This morning, Ellie’s parents were leaving for a birthday party. Yet, after I spoke, Ellie’s dad got out of the car and walked toward the house. My heart sank because I thought that my words may have been ill-timed. Then, Ellie’s mother said: “Thank you. Sometimes, we feel that no one remembers Ellie anymore.”
I stood quietly and looked at the ground. A moment later, Ellie’s dad walked up and extended his hand to me and said: “I’ll give you this and you hand me that.” Well, this was a beautiful flower in full bloom and that, well it was a bag of dog poo. Yep. Hardly an even exchange – but I gratefully accepted the gift anyways.
It was a blurry half-mile walk back to my house. In my mind, I reflected on the hurt that I harbored on this morning’s walk. The pain was real, but as I thought about life’s regrets, mistakes, pain and suffering, I looked through my tears and gazed at the beautiful flower in my hand. The flower that I held was created by the same God who created me. It is fragile, like me. It could be crushed, like me. Yet, it was created to bloom…like me.
Here is the flower that Ellie’s dad gave me.
Then an ancient verse came to mind:
To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes,
a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair.*
We all have bad days. Tough days. And, today is one of mine. So, I reflect on this verse and know that the promise that the scriptural author made long ago to the captive people of ancient Israel is the same promise that is recorded in many places later in the Bible for believers today.
Even after loss, life goes on. After heartache, life goes on. After struggle, life goes on. But, the question is how will it go on?
Will your life go on in hope or despair?
I choose hope. I’m not just wishing things will get better, I have hope that they will. A proven hope in a God that sees things from beginning to end and isn’t daunted by my failures or the failures of others.
Ellie’s life might have ended on this earth many years ago. Yet, today was a moment to remember her life and gives thanks to God for the lesson that it taught me.
*Isaiah 61:3 (New Living Translation)
by Barb Roose | Jul 1, 2013 | Uncategorized
For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-4)
It’s summer time. As I scroll through my Facebook posts, dozens of photos of people are on vacation or enjoying backyard cookouts with friends and family – and the endless rain won’t stop us! Since I’m from Ohio, summertime is a big deal because there are things we can do in the summer that we can’t do in the winter. Sure, we can grill in the winter, but it’s not much fun flipping burgers in our winter coats. And, let’s be honest, only the crazy people go swimming in January. Yet, in the warm summer sun, we’re free to swim until we wrinkle like raisins. This reminds me of an important observation: How we live absolutely depends on the season in which we are living.
Smart folks out there have created analogies to relate our weather seasons to our seasons of life:
- Winter = difficulty, sadness or struggle (hardship, illness, or loss)
- Spring = renewed hope, regeneration (forgiveness, new job or new love, positive change in life direction)
- Summer = happiness, joy, stability, progress (extended period of contentment)
- Fall = unsettled, transition (considering job change or ending a relationship)
What season of life are you living in? Are you embracing your “for now” life?
There’s a God-ordained rhythm to the ebb and flow of our lives. Our problem comes in when we want to decide that we don’t like the season of life we are in and we start pushing to change things that God isn’t ready to or isn’t planning to change. It took me a long time to become content with the season I was living instead of trying to force my way into a new situation. There’s a phrase that I remember and share often with others: “This is your ‘for now’ life.” It won’t last forever, but it is your reality “for now.”
When my kids were small, my “for now” life was nothing like it is now. Then, life was centered around my kids, naptime and dinner time. There were no long girlfriend lunch dates, but there were play dates. There were no long, quiet afternoons alone, but there were precious afternoons reading and cuddling with my girls. As much as I wanted to do other me-centered things, I knew that time would pass quickly (and it did!), so I concentrated on making the best of those moments. That phase of my life ended many years ago, but I have some incredible memories of the loooonnnngggg days I spent with my kids.
Years later, there was another “for now” season of life that was bleak and dark. Things were tight financially because I left my well-paying job to work part-time in ministry. We still had three kids in private school. So, there were no Caribbean cruises or spending sprees, but we had some great (free!) weekends with our family and friends. And while we weren’t able to afford to eat out as before, I discovered a talent for making great pizza dough and we enjoyed some great Friday family nights with homemade pizza and free movie rentals from the library. After a few years, that season of life passed into a different one, including both good and bad.
I’ll ask again: what season of life are you in? Here are some questions to think about:
- What are the balconies (the good aspects) and the basements (bad aspects) of where you are at?
- How can you make the best of this season and position yourself to move as spiritually, emotionally and physically healthy into the next season?
by Barb Roose | Jun 28, 2013 | Uncategorized
Planners comfort me. Always have. I love that there is something out there that is supposedly organizing my chaotic life. Even if that is not actually true, I like to believe that it is…
Before there was iCal or Outlook, I used a Blackberry to schedule my appointments and remind me to take my medicine. Before that, my Palm Pilot ruled my world! Remember how we loved the sleek, sexy design – but we didn’t love the little stylus that kept getting lost! Before Palm Pilots, we planned by paper. Of course, the Rolex of paper organizers was the good ole’ Franklin Planner. Owning a Franklin Planner was the ultimate confirmation that whatever I was doing must have been important. Yes, I was doing something important enough to write down in a $300 PAPER planning system. Anyone else feel silly knowing that we can get an iPad Mini for the amount we used to spend on a Franklin Planner? Sheesh!
I may not always follow the schedule I’ve written down, but I like knowing that it is there – that at some point I was smart enough to think ahead of the game. Yes, I love to plan.
Except for when it comes to food. No plans. I just want to eat what I want, when I want and how much I want.
I’m leading a group of women through Lysa TerKeurst’s best-selling book, Made to Crave. There’s a phrase that has been ringing in my ears every time I think about eating a second helping or a third cookie: unrestrained pleasure.
That phrase usually triggers the words of 1 Corinthians 10:23 – “Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial.” And, then I get a little annoyed (and even a little panicked!)
Why? When it comes to food, I want what I want when I want it. I love how Lysa’s personal journey in this area of her life has had such a tremendous impact on the lives of so many others, including myself. I love how she challenges women to discipline themselves to find comfort and pleasure in Christ, not food. Let’s face it, whenever we have an extreme emotion – happiness or sadness, we automatically reach for something to put into our mouths. Yet, when we finish our consumption, we end up with an entirely different set of feelings…and most of those feelings are of shame or regret.
So, this past week, the ladies in my group and I agreed if we plan for the things that are important, then we would commit ourselves to planning our meals for the next two weeks. Our agreement isn’t because we’re all trying to look like some size 2 supermodel. Rather, we’re making a plan to put food in its nourishing, rightful place and for us to focus on finding comfort and pleasure in God alone.
Truth is, I was sweating as I was posing the challenge. This means that I have to lead by example and frankly, I’m not sure I want to. But, I will. I hope.
Wish me luck. And don’t send me any chocolate.
I’m finally back in the air again.Today, I am traveling to Spartanburg, South Carolina via Greenville (or Greensboro – not sure which one because I haven’t be able to keep all of the “Green–” cities straight.)My flight left Detroit on schedule at 2:15pm this afternoon. Just prior to lift off, I do what I always do on flights: I went to sleep. I was having a great nap until the pilot’s voice broke through my semi-conscious state and informed us that our plane was returning to Detroit for mechanical repairs. Since I am a big fan of not crashing, I went along with the pilot’s plan.Ninety minutes later, we are back in the air. Once we could power up our electronics, I figured I would distract myself from additional concerns by writing to you. So, this experience got me to thinking…
