by Barb Roose | Aug 9, 2013 | Uncategorized
Earlier this week, my youngest daughter, Abbie, turned 13. We are not quick to spoil our kids, but she hit the motherlode this week. First, her oldest sister flew home for the week as a surprise. Then, my mom got her a new phone (Tracfone smartphone with triple minutes, y’all). Instead of a party, Abbie asked Matt and I for an iPod. And we gladly bought one – slightly used, but new to her. Truth be told, I would have bought her a car if that meant we didn’t have to have a sleepover party. #fo’sho. Being 13 is turning out okay for Abbie. I don’t have such fond memories of that time period of my life.
At 13, I was a hot mess.
Maybe you were doing okay at that age. Not me. I was a waaaay too tall (actually BIG – I was 5’8″). I was AWKWARD in the most ALL CAPS of ways. I wore thick glasses and had acne. In the many years since that not-so-fabulous time of life, I’ve wondered if maybe, just maybe, I’ve exaggerated my memories of those desperate years.
Turns out, things were more awkward that I remembered. A couple of weeks ago, I found my junior high journal in the attic. I flipped through the pages careening down an overly dramatic memory lane. That journal recorded what I loved, hated, dreamed about and feared. And, if I am honest, there’s still a thump of that 13-year old heart that beats in 41-year old me.
Thanks to social media, I’ve reconnected with a lot of the people I wrote about all of these years ago in my little jounral. Some friends, I’m thrilled to chat with via Facebook. Other individuals I NEVER expected to think about again once we said ‘good-bye’ to Medina High. Just in case they never wanted to be associated with me ever again, I substituted “dude” instead of their actual name. I could have thought of another way of doing things, but as a one of my blogging mentors says*: Just whatever, man.
Here’s an peek into my 13-year old hot mess-ness:
Saturday, November 1, 1985
Sorry I haven’t written, but I’ve been really busy [even back then, really?]. Well, volleyball went just fine. Dude came to all of our home games. I don’t like him, but I do. Every time I see him, I want to punch him and kiss him, too.
Once upon a time, I was passive-aggressive…[maybe I still am. A little. Not much.]
In review of my journal entries, it seems this young man was in a long line of young men that I wanted to simultaneously punch and kiss. I should tell you that none of those young men ever got kissed…or punched.
Okay, so audience participation in the next journal entry. Feel free to analyze what I could have possibly thinking in this next statement:
This weekend was one of the worst in my life. Dude #1 asked me to go with him. I told him we could be friends. I talked to Dude #2 today and asked him to tell Dude #1 that I’m not good for him and all that stuff. I told him that’s what he does best.
Yesterday, Dude #1 told me to get off the jive that I said I wasn’t pretty. I hope this turns out better because I can’t stand it.
This is the stuff that probably explains why I never was asked to prom in high school.
Of course, four days later, my two dude crisis was averted and there was an ALL CAPS entry about making Honor Roll. My attentions were also diverted to another young man that I haven’t seen since junior high. Hmmm….I should look him up on Facebook…
Think back to when you were 13 years old. What did you love? What did you hate? What did you do that you were proud of? Do you still see any of 13-year-old-you in grown-up-you? If so, is that a good thing? If not, what have you lost – and should you try to get it back?
As I flipped through the pages of that journal, I think about how much that 13-year girl didn’t know about her life. She didn’t know that college would be MUCH better than junior high and high school. She didn’t know that her date-less streak would not be broken until her junior year (he was a nice young man from the Cleveland area…but wore a little too much Drakkar). She didn’t know that her love of words would open up a world of adventure – both good and not-so-awesome.
My junior high journal has been sitting out this week while I’ve been working on this post. Abbie keeps asking to read it. I keep saying no. I want her to be free to live and learn through making her own mistakes rather than reading through my journal and laughing at mine – ha!
*Jen Hatmaker is one of my favorite bloggers. She writes a lot about family and motherhood. Her posts are gritty, hysterical and you should check her out at www.jenhatmaker.com.
by Barb Roose | Aug 2, 2013 | Reflections
Wow! Friends, you have wrapped me in so much love! Thank you for your congratulations and support. Who knew that a story about God and a girdle could be inspiring- ha! (By the way, if you missed that blog post and you’re dying to know who a girdle changed my life, I’d love to share it with you! Just click here!)
So, the next part of my wild-n-wacky vacation trip is about meeting social media juggernaut, Michael Hyatt. Clearly, I was looking forward to hearing his keynote address…
I’m one of the 250,000 people who listen to Michael Hyatt’s leadership podcasts each month. His podcasts get me through my morning runs. I hate running. But when I listen to Michael’s podcast, I hate my run a little less. Additionally, I learn important wisdom from Michael in hopes that those that I lead might hate me less as well.
So, you can only imagine how high I clicked my 3.75″ blue, chevron-patterned wedge heels when I met Michael Hyatt and his lovely wife, Gail last Friday.
After listening to Michael’s soup-to-nuts talk about how to get our God-inspired messages noticed in busy world, I joined the stampede of women who were invited to his Platform: Getting Noticed in a Noisy World, book signing. Normally, I am a digital girl – I’ve got hundreds of books on my iPad Kindle app, but sometimes this girl’s gotta buy a hardcopy!
As I scanned through the table of contents, I looked for the chapter that I was most likely to NOT want to read. Then, I found it: Chapter 9: Think big…No, BIGGER!
I like dreaming big. It’s dreaming “bigger” that freaks me out. “Bigger” dreams like: having my own television show, writing two or three bestsellers that bless women and draw them closer to God, taking a cruise around the world… and losing 25 pounds. For me, these “bigger” dreams make my heart flutter and bring a smile to my face. But, they also scare me. It’s a good time for me to turn the tables. How about you?
What do you dream about? If you could do anything and not fail, what would it be? It’s probably the thing that you’d never say out loud because you don’t want people to think you’re crazy, out-of-your-league, conceited, delusional or any other word that basically means the following: #notachance. But, if you are brave enough to share your dream, you can tell me – I won’t tell 🙂 Leave a comment or inbox me on FB or Tweet me. Let’s dream together!
And that’s why I knew I without Michael’s help, I would probably skim right past chapter 9. I can get overwhelmed at the thought of dreaming bigger and actually attaching goals to my dreams. Because once I take that dangerous step, then the Failure Monster comes a knockin’ and starts singing his “You can’t win” song (which I think he ripped off from Michael Jackson, who sang it in the classic movie, “The Wiz.”)
Here are just a few fears I’ve been beating back in the past week: What if the publisher changes her mind about my proposal? What is I start writing the book and turns out, I HATE it? What if I finish the book and then they HATE it? What if I write this book and no one cares?
So, after shaking Michael’s hand, I asked him for a little help:
“Michael, instead of signing the book cover, would you sign Chapter 9 for me? It’s the chapter that I will struggle with the most.”
In his graciousness, Michael went to work signing Chapter 9. His notations included some underlining and script on that page. Michael finished his quick note with the words: “Barb, I’m counting on you to do this.” Whew. I just wanted some encouraging words and Michael scripted out a challenge. And I would see that challenge every time I picked up the book. Sometimes, you get what you ask for, right?
In that brief interaction, Michael made me believe that whatever God–inspired dream was hidden in my heart was important enough to overcome my fear of failure.
Then, I asked Michael and Gail if they would take a photo with me. Juggernaut Michael, lovely Gail and GIANT Barbie. Seriously, could I be any taller! Sigh. (My friend, Bobbie, took the photo from me and told me to stop calling myself ‘Giant Barbie.’ But, if the size 11 shoe fits…) Then, disaster struck!
The next morning, I realized my autographed copy of Platform was missing. What the what! After an unsuccessful inquiry to the wonderful She Speaks conference team, I was truly bummed. My book was gone – right along with Michael’s unique encouraging message to me. Gone. And I didn’t get a picture of it.
I decided to Tweet the Proverbs 31 team and mentioned Michael in my tweet, knowing that there was minimal chance of finding the book. Still, I didn’t have anything to lose. The next morning, I checked my phone. Imagine me falling out of my comfy hotel bed when I saw Michael’s response to my Tweet. Here’s a photo. His response was short and gracious. But, his timely response meant the world to me.
The replacement copy will be sent to my office and I’m non-chalantly checking the mailroom each day for it’s delivery. I’m excited about seeing the autograph, but at this point, I really need to read Platform! The competitive part of me knows that all of the other ladies at the conference have a jump on me because they didn’t lose their copies.
Thanks for reading my story. I want to end this post by sharing something Michael said during his talk about waiting for perfect conditions to take action. I hope this thought motivates you:
“Perfectionism is the mother of procrastination. The world doesn’t need it (your idea/dream/plan) to be perfect, it just needs to be out there.”
by Barb Roose | Jul 30, 2013 | Women's Topics
Last week was one of the most incredible weeks of my life. And, when I say the word “incredible,” I’m not just talking about spectacular. I’m talking about “are-you-kidding-me-is-this-actually-going-down-like-this” kind of incredible.
I traveled to North Carolina on Thursday with my friend, Bobbie, to attend Proverbs 31 Ministries She Speaks Writer and Speaker Conference. I met P31 president and best-selling author, Lysa TerKeurst back in May when I co-hosted the Fabulous Conference with my friend, Lauren. Lysa is an in-demand national keynote speaker, so when I found out that she was hosting a conference for emerging speakers and authors, I plunked down my money and registered.
One of the benefits of registering for the conference was an opportunity to meet with publishers and agents from all over the country. Since I had written a book proposal back in January, I figured it was time for me to pitch my book proposal while I was at the conference.
When I arrived at the conference on Friday morning, I had to hustle to schedule my publisher appointment. Hundreds of women were already scheduled to meet with agents and publishers and I was praying there would be a slot for me. A lovely woman named Sheila took my card and scheduled me for a 4pm Saturday appointment with a publisher from Abingdon Press named Pamela Clements.
Abingdon Press! It was the best news I could have gotten. My friend and author, Sandie Bricker (www.sandradbricker.com) published a very successful series of books with Abingdon Press, so I immediately inboxed her on Facebook. Within a few hours, Sandie responded and let me know that Ms. Clements was her editor’s boss. She included some important guidance to help me with my due diligence in preparing for my appointment.
After attending Friday’s incredible conference, from Lysa’s morning keynote, divinely-appointed breakout sessions and social media juggernaut, Michael Hyatt’s evening talk, I was baked – in a good way, not the kind of way that gets one arrested.
On our way back to the hotel, I remembered that the shirt I packed for the next day had two mysterious brown stains. I couldn’t wear it. I started brainstorming a Plan B. While brainstorming, I drove right past the street of our hotel. Rather than turn around on the busy highway, I asked Bobbie if I could drive over to the RossForLess retail store I had seen earlier in the day. Since I needed to buy a new outfit early in the morning, I wanted to see what time the store opened.
We pulled up to RossForLess at 10:24pm. I noticed that there were people still in the store. Could it be open? Yes! The store was open until 10:30pm. What store closes at 10:30pm? 10pm, yes. 11pm, yes. 10:30pm…what? I popped out of the car in my 4″ wedge sandals and hustled toward store. The automatic doors slid open and I scooted in at 10:26pm. Ignoring the stare of the cashier who was probably hoping I’d drop dead so she could clock out and go home, I ran to the dress section and started rifling through the racks until I found two dresses in my size and style.
Back at the hotel, I tried on the first dress and looked in the mirror. It fit fine and it was my style, but I wasn’t sure. Bobbie told me I was crazy, but I just didn’t feel confident when I looked in the mirror. A little too much shake and shimmy, if you know what I mean…
So, at 7:30am the next morning, I jumped out of bed and left the hotel search of Spanx. (For any guys reading, Spanx are like Magic Eraser for women’s bodies.) Ross For Less didn’t open until 9:00am and I needed to be at the conference by then. So, I kept driving even though I had no idea what to do next.
After two minutes, I turned my head to the right and saw a Wal-Mart off in the distance. When I checked my GPS earlier, Google Maps said the nearest Wal-Mart was 20 minutes away. Finally, a GPS error in my favor!
Did you ever stop to think about the most important decisions in your life and how 98% of the time, Wal-Mart is involved in those decisions. Buying a house? Chances are, you’ll be stopping at Wal-Mart. Getting married? You’ll be stopping by Wal-Mart. Having a baby? Wal-Mart. Pitching your first book proposal to a publisher? Definitely, Wal-Mart.
Now, Wal-Mart doesn’t actually carry the brand name, Spanx. Only certain fine department stores do. However, I really don’t want to use the word “girdle” over and over again. That would be awkward for all involved. So for the purposes of this blog post, Spanx = girdle. So, I ran into Wal-Mart and gratefully purchased the Spanx and drove back to the hotel.
Here’s the crazy part: Before my 4pm book pitch that afternoon, I had to give a five-minute talk to a group of ladies in an advanced speakers group. I obsessed over this talk for weeks. On my way back from Wal-Mart, I was inspired to completely change my five-minute talk to include my Spanx story. I dictated the new talk into my iPhone and finished it as I pulled into the hotel parking lot.
My new Spanx-inspired talk was completely and utterly me. During my five-minute presentation, I shared my insecurities about my appearance. I shared my heart to help other ladies learn to see God first in the mirror rather than focusing on the things that made them feel “less-than.” The ladies laughed about the Spanx and each gave me a knowing look when I talked about how much we hate feeling insecure about our appearance. Next, it was time for me to face the moment I’d waited a lifetime for…my publisher appointment.
I entered the room and extended my hand toward Ms. Clement. After sitting down and introducing myself, I took a deep breath and shared my Spanx story again. She listened as I recounted my struggles as well as what I’ve learned over the years about seeing myself through God’s eyes. To my surprise, Ms. Clements shared some of her life journey with me. We laughed over the ways the lengths that women go to in order to deal with their insecurities. At the end of my appointment, Ms. Clements asked if she could have my book proposal. I walked out of that room and felt the overwhelming lift of a lifetime’s worth of prayers answered. Then, I cried.
I couldn’t believe that a stained shirt could set into motion a series of events that would change my life over the course of 48-hours. I still can’t believe that RossForLess was open until 10:30pm and the only reason I found that out was because I accidently drove past the road to our hotel. I can’t believe that we happened to show up to the store four minutes before it closed – and I was able to find two dresses in less than 10 minutes. By the way, the dress I purchased was a Calvin Klein dark denim beauty for only $24.99. Girls, you know I had to share that!
I know that God set those series of events into motion and I am awestruck – and thankful. Soooo thankful. No, I don’t know how it will all turn out. I hope that the book will work out, but I’m grateful for how much I’ve gained and grown over this weekend.
Now, I’m back in Ohio, trying to adjust to post-vacation life. I’ve got a long week at work, kids playing soccer and a dog that has developed an skin allergy that will need some veterinary attention.
Yet, I have the memory of an incredible weekend when I was reminded that when things seem to be going wrong, it was just the preparation for God to show up.
STAY TUNED: On Friday, in my next post “Barb’s Vacation, Part II,” I’ll tell you about why Platform author Michael Hyatt tweeted me. Yes, me!
by Barb Roose | Jul 30, 2013 | Christian Living/Discipleship
Our trip home from North Carolina was only supposed to take nine hours, expect it actually took 12 hours for my friend, Bobbie and I to get home. We were traveling in the wrong direction not once during our trip, but twice.
The first clue that we might be traveling in the wrong direction happened when we passed a Tanger Outlet Mall about two hours into our trip. Normally, seeing a Tanger Outlet Mall is cause for celebration. Except, that we realized that we hadn’t see that mall on our way down two days earlier.
So, I picked up my cell phone and discovered that while I had programmed our final destination into Google maps, I never did one important thing – I never pressed “START.”
When you’re lost and you don’t know it, it’s actually not that bad. After all, you don’t know that you’re lost. So, we were have a great time! Our cruise control was set at 76 mph and we chatted and laughed like teen girls about the highlights of our trip (more on that later this week!) and we listened to Dr. Brene Brown’s TedX podcasts (incredible!).
Noticing the outlet mall interrupted our reverie. All of the sudden, I sensed something wasn’t right. For the first time since we’d left two hours before, I picked up my phone and turned it over. There was a sick feeling in my stomach and all of the joy we had been experiencing until that point evaporated into a pile of bummer. Oh no!
We’d been driving 76 mph in the wrong direction for about previous 45 minutes. Not only had I made a mistake, but it was going to take twice the time to fix my stupid mistake. As they say, wasted time is a wasted of time.
Here’s quote from Andy Stanley. He’s smart dude, who knows stuff that I’ll never figure out: “Direction, not intention determines destination.”
My friend, Bobbie and I had every intention of getting back home to Ohio, yet our intentions meant nothing because our car was traveling in the wrong direction. In order to get home, our intention didn’t matter. We had to change our direction.
Now, back to you. Think about road trips as a metaphor for our lives. There are a lot of “destinations” that we have in life:
- We want to have fulfilling relationships…
- We want to be financially secure…
- We want to have peace or a life free from strife…
- We want to get to heaven…
Which “destination” are you trying to get to? How is your journey going? Do you feel like you are moving closer to the destination (not perfection!)?
If not, what do you need to do differently? Do you have intentions that are getting in the way of an actual re-direction? CLUE: If you are using the phrase “I’m trying to change,” you might consider dropping it. Like Star Wars’ Yoda says: “Do. Or do not. There is no try .'”
Now, I also have to confess that once Bobbie and I get ourselves back on track, we ended up getting off doing to wrong direction AGAIN a few hours later. (Feel free to make jokes about women drivers – I deserve it.) This time, we got distracted by talking. We really wanted to get home to see our families, but momentary distraction threw us off track again. Sheesh…
There are some important journeys that we all make in this life. We have relationships, careers, financial lives and spiritual journeys that must be intentionally navigated. We’ve got to keep our eyes on where we are actually going and we can’t get distracted. Afterall, isn’t the destination worth it? We want to experience the reality of healthy and nourishing relationships, financial security, tranquil living or eternal life – right? But, you won’t stumble on these by accident and getting distracted will sabotage your efforts every single time. So, here is a scriptural reminder of the high-stakes journeys that we are taking in this life:
There is a path before each person that seems right,
but it ends in death. -Proverbs 16:25 (New Living Translation)
But, it doesn’t have to be that way. The wise person knows how to find and walk the right path. If you are a person of faith, remember how many God-Positioning Scriptures that you have available to lead and guide you to the destinations of forgiveness, relational wellness, purpose, eternal life and so much more.
My favorite GPS (God-Positioning Scripture) is:
Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. –Matthew 6:33 (New Living Translation)
Do you have a favorite GPS or God-Positioning Scripture? If so, share it on my Facebook page or in the comments section in order to encourage others. You might just be able to share a verse that someone else can use.
by Barb Roose | Jul 24, 2013 | Christian Living/Discipleship
It was exactly a year ago that I woke up on my 40th birthday in a really bad mood.
I hated turning 40. Hated it. Even saying the words, “I’m 40” seemed to stick in my throat. Still does…
In the weeks leading up to my birthday last year, I sensed the likelihood of a meltdown, so I wisely planned a distraction: a partial kitchen remodel. Since I’m not super-handy, I had figured driving back and forth to Home Depot that week would keep me too busy to think about the Big 4-0.
On the morning of my July 24th birthday, I had planned to start painting the cabinet doors. As I mixed paint at 8:15am that morning, I groused to God about reaching this dreaded female milestone. Yet, I also felt guilty for being ungrateful. Afterall, I was alive, right? As I prepped the cabinets, I began to obsess (maybe even panic…) about what might be next in my life. And, what if there wasn’t a “next”? That thought terrified me. I begged God to help me shake off the “40-funk” that was settling into my heart.
At 8:30am, the phone rang. Then, everything changed:
“Barb, you need to meet Life Flight at St. V’s. Your sister-in-law and niece are headed there. They’ve been in an accident. Someone has died, but we don’t know who or in which car.”
Luckily, the hospital’s location is three minutes from my house and I was there within 10 minutes of the phone call. After waiting, I found out that my sister-in-law was alive and my niece was unconscious and in critical condition. Then, sadly, I learned that one of the passengers in the other vehicle had died. All I could do was cry and pray.
It was only 10am…and I was no longer concerned about turning 40.
As we paced through the hours of the day, our brains were in a haze from the overload of information and emotions. Yet, there are certain parts of life that just went on. For instance, it was my birthday, so I still had to get my car registration and tags renewed. At the BMV, I met saw a woman in line that I had seen at the hospital earlier in the day. Later, I found out her name was Ms. Lucy Oliver. As the battle for life and death circled around us, I had a chance to talk with one of St. V’s beloved employees. Weeks later, I would use her faith-filled testimony in one of my weekend messages.
In the days that followed the accident, my brother-in-law and sister-in-law held their daughter’s hand as her body struggled to survive surgery after surgery. Our immediate and distant family members would travel back and forth to the hospital to see and support in many different ways. Time moved fast and slow – simultaneously.
God spared my beautiful niece, Camie’s life. Over the past year, she’s worked so hard to regain the ability to walk and be mobile. She rocked out her academics and will graduate from high school next spring – an entire year early! Camie even got her driver’s license this year! Amazing! 365 days ago, I never could have imagined what today would look like.
As I think about the last 365 days of my life, there are so many different storylines to recall. Days of triumph, joy and peace mixed in with days of darkness, pain and confusion. Of course, I wish that there were more of the good days than bad ones, but as I get older, I’ve learned that the keeping score isn’t the point.
Sooooo, now I am 41. Yep, 41. This year, I choose to be grateful for the chance to live out every unknown (sometimes difficult or scary moments). When I remember that God has plans, not problems, I cope with life so much better.
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.
Jeremiah 29:11-13 (New Living Translation)
As a reforming control-freak, one of my biggest issues is not worrying about the future. Yet, God’s plans are for me. Whatever problems I am currently navigating are a part of His plan and thankfully, I can’t screw up His plan. Whew.
So, if you’re wondering what I am doing for my birthday this year, I’m repeating the verses in Jeremiah 29:11-13 to myself. Over and over again…
