by Barb Roose | Aug 21, 2018 | Better Together Podcast
Can we find freedom from past hurts or trauma? The answer is YES!
If you know me, you know that I am a HUGE advocate of mental health! Not only have I invested in years of personal counseling, but I attend a recovery group on a regular basis for my own serenity. A decade ago, I struggled with major depression and spending a year in counseling and medication delivered me back to wellness.
The lesson that I’ve learned is that good mental health is a daily investment and when we don’t invest in ourselves, we rob ourselves of the peace and joy that God promises. Don’t rob yourselves, friends. You matter!
My guest on this episode of the Better Together podcast is clinically-trained marriage and family therapist, Stacy Lynn Harp, the host of Bible News Radio.
Stacy Lynn grew up as the middle child between two brothers and to a mother who often expressed her regret over Stacy Lynn’s birth. When Stacy Lynn was seven years old, her mother had an affair with Stacy’s paternal uncle. Eventually, Stacy’s mother left her father, packed up the kids and moved to California with the uncle. For many years, the uncle sexually and physically abused Stacy on a daily basis.”He was sadistic,” recalls Stacy Lynn in another interview.
During our conversation, Stacy Lynn gives a recap of her story and explains the tragic reason behind why her uncle never went to jail, even though Stacy Lynn reported him to the police.
If you’re an adult, but you’ve still got a lot of baggage left over from your childhood, Stacy Lynn shares her journey from sexual abuse survivor to finding freedom from her struggles.
Our conversation today includes:
- Why NOT paying for therapy is the most expensive mistake of your life;
- What does freedom look like;
- How to spot unhealthy people;
- Lessons in faith from her soon-to-be-finished book, Pickleball Faith.
LINKS TO TODAY’S PODCAST
Stacy Lynn Harp website | Bible News Radio
Stacy’s Testimony
What is Mental Health?
STACY LYNN HARP BIO
Stacy has appeared on the Fox News television show Dayside, as well as numerous radio programs nationally and internationally, discussing issues pertaining to the family, sexuality, social media, Christian persecution and Internet related issues.
Stacy earned a Masters of Science in Clinical Psychology from Vanguard University of Southern California, and is a gifted therapist and coach. Stacy has spoken at various academic and professional conferences concerning internet safety issues and the topic of homosexuality. She has been described as someone who has a firm grasp on the issues and communicates passionately but with humor.
by Barb Roose | Aug 17, 2018 | Better Together Podcast
How many times a week do you say, “I’m so tired?”
Here are some signs that you’re might be exhausted. If you say “yes” to one or more of these, keep reading!
- Do you get sick often – like sinus infections or headaches?
- Is your mind so cluttered that you can’t concentrate?
- Do you feel like you’re floating around aimlessly or that your life doesn’t have true purpose or calling?
- Do you feel too drained to be around people or do you often feel people are judging you?
Believe it or not, but these are the warning signs of rest deprivation. Too often, we think about rest as just getting a good night’s sleep or watching hours of tv.
Rest is much more than that! But, if we don’t figure out how to really rest, then we’re going to end up living really messed up lives.
Let me introduce you to someone who can give you the help and hope that you need today!
My Better Together guest is Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, an author, speaker, and board-certified internal medicine physician. She has an active medical practice in Alabama (near the Birmingham area).
Dr. Dalton-Smith is a national and international media resource on the mind, body, spirit connection and a top 100 medical expert in Good Housekeeping Doctors’ Secrets. She has been featured in many media outlets including Women’s Day, Redbook, First For Women, MSNBC, and Prevention. She is the author of Set Free to Live Free and Come Empty (winner 2016 Golden Scroll Nonfiction Book of the Year and 2016 Illumination Award Gold medalist).
Her newest release is Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity, including ground-breaking insight on the seven types of rest needed to optimize your productivity, increase your overall happiness and live your best life.
Today, Dr. Dalton Smith answers these pressing questions about rest:
- How can we get a better night’s sleep?
- How do we know when we’re rested?
- What are some warning signs that we need to know?
- Why is there more than one type of rest?
- Why do women struggle with rest?
LINKS FROM TODAY’S EPISODE
Saundra Dalton-Smith: website | facebook page
Rest Test Quiz: http://ichoosemybestlife.com/quiz/rest-quiz-test/
COMMENT: ON A SCALE OF 1 (A LITTLE) – 10 (EXTREMELY), HOW TIRED ARE YOU? WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT YOU NEED TO DO DIFFERENTLY IN ORDER TO EMBRACE MORE REST IN YOUR LIFE?
by Barb Roose | Aug 16, 2018 | Better Together Podcast
“Don’t burn bridges. Be graceful in all of your converations, especially when people say or do hurtful things.”
-Lisa Toney, speaker, author & leader
On this week’s Better Together podcast, we’re talking about one of my favorite ways for us to get better together. On today’s episode, we’re talking leadership! Not only that, but our leadership inspiration is Lisa Toney, an executive and teaching pastor from Purpose Church in California. She’s a seasoned leader who loves investing in both men and women, equipping them to lead at the highest levels of God’s call in their lives.
Lisa is the author of Thrive: Live Like You Matter and her new book, The Scripture Challenge releases this fall.
Not only that, but Lisa is a new voice in the next generation of Women of Faith. Any Women of Faith fans out there? Me! For over 20 years, WOF events around the country mobilized hundreds of thousands of women and now, a generation of voices, including Lisa’s are on deck to make a global impact. Lisa tells us all about WOF’s vision to reach the world and how YOU can be a part of it.
In my humble opinion, today’s conversation is like a mini-leadership retreat that packs a big punch! You should listen to today’s podcast:
- If you’ve been struggling with confidence;
- If you’re trying to figure out how to be a leader, wife, mom, and friend;
- If you’re just tired and wanting to give up.
Friends, if any of those fit, then I believe that today’s podcast is exactly where you should be right now!
Let me share a few bits of Lisa’s inspiring wisdom:
“This competition thing that we have between women doesn’t get us very far. When I get together with other women and we exchange ideas, all of our lives get so much better!”
“When I think about work life balance, I just laugh. Is it ever balanced? I don’t know. I love living every day to the full.”
“I want people to see Jesus in me because that’s evidence that I’m living the call that God has placed on my life.”
SHARE YOUR COMMENT: Have you taken Myers-Briggs (MBTI), Strengths Finders, Enneagram, or other personality tests? Tell us about your results below.
LINKS FROM TODAY’S CONVERSATION:
Lisa Toney website | Facebook | book
Women of Faith Facebook Page (To find Scripture Challenge and Aloud)
Strengths Finders
by Barb Roose | Jun 19, 2018 | Better Together Podcast
“If we hide the fact that Dad drinks too much, then no one will know.”
Did you grow up in a home where things like drinking or drugs weren’t talked about? Too often, when someone that we love is struggling, silence seems easier than saying something or possibly the wrong thing.
Today, I’m talking with author Kimberly Dewberry about her new book, Three Weeks to Forgiveness, which tells her story of God’s redemption in the dark places of addiction. In our conversation today, Kimberly talks about what it was like growing up with an addicted parent and perhaps, her reflections and stories might hit close to home.
Here is a recap of some of the questions that I asked Kimberly today. I’d encourage you to listen to and share today’s interview if you grew up with an alcoholic family or you know someone currently living in that difficult situation.
What are your earliest memories of your dad’s addiction in your life?
“I remember going through hiding places where my dad would hide his partial or empty bottles. My mom wanted me to help her get rid of my Dad’s alcohol and get it out of the house. But I didn’t understand what we were doing. At that point, I started to blame myself. Somehow, I thought that I was the one who made my dad start drinking again. I thought that I was being punished for something. At the time, I didn’t understand the feelings that I was having until I began going through recovery later in life.”
If you could go back and talk to yourself at 15 years old, what would you tell her?
“If I could go back and talk to my 15-year old self I would say, ‘You did not cause this. This isn’t something that we caused or something that we could control. Honey, your mom doesn’t know what to do. She’s desperate. She reached out to you because she didn’t know what else to do.'”
As a teen, how did you react to your dad’s alcoholism?
“I was rebellious. I made horrible choices as a teenager and during much of my adult life. I was constantly searching for something and at the time I didn’t know what I was searching for. Now, I know that I was searching for confirmation that I was loved.”
How did your dad’s alcoholism make you feel about yourself?
“I equated my dad’s isolation and silence with lack of love. That carried over to other relationships. So in other relationships, I felt that if they weren’t talking to me, then they didn’t love me.”
What role did God play in your life? Why did you turn away from God?
“Our family didn’t go to church when I was a kid. I got saved in my 20’s but one of the most important things that I didn’t have was a good mentor to help me or guide me. I was trying to do it on my own, but I didn’t know what to do. So, when I turned away from God, it was really out of selfishness.
I wasn’t angry or bitter at God. But I had done so many bad things that I didn’t feel like God could love me anymore. I felt like God was so disappointed with me. I thought that I was too far gone, so that’s why I turned away from God.”
What negative behaviors/patterns did you struggle with during your adult years?
“I’ve been married three times. I constantly sought my value in relationships, especially with men.” I also struggled with co-dependent tendencies. I thought that I’d be happy as long as everyone else is happy. So, I tried to control people, situations, finances, outcomes ,and kids. I felt so out of control on the inside that I tried to control everyone else on the outside.”
How did your dad come to live with your family before he died?
“After years away from the family and living on the streets, my dad was diagnosed with cancer. He was released from the hospital and since he had nowhere to go, he came to live with me. It had been five years since I’d seen my dad.
It was through those three weeks of dad living in our home, that was the major event though God broke down the walls of anger, bitterness and how to show grace and forgiveness to my dad. I had a brick wall around my heart and God broke that wall down during those three weeks.”
What does it mean for you to find recovery as an adult child of an alcoholic?
“Who I am isn’t defined by my past. Who I am is defined by Christ. And I could not have realized that if it hadn’t been for God bringing Dad back into our lives for such a short period of time. After Dad died, I was grieving a lot. I got help from a Christian counselor and that’s when I heard terms like “adult child of an alcoholic” and “recovery.” I was really confused because I thought that it was my Dad with the problem. But, I realized that I needed help, so I started with Al-Anon and then moved over to Celebrate Recovery.
In recovery, I realized that I had a problem, too. I have issues that I need to work on. I cannot control what other people do, I cannot control what other people say and I cannot control how other people act. Through recovery I was able to see that God is in control and He is the one that plans our steps. It’s our decisions and our free will that allow us to either go God’s way or our own way. I have learned that by going God’s way that I can have peace, serenity, and love.”
Who needs to attend a recovery program?
Sometimes, we don’t know that we need recovery until we start going. If you are feeling out of control and yet you try to control everyone, then consider talking to a licensed therapist/counselor, Al-Anon, or Celebrate Recovery.
Connect with Kimberly – Three Weeks to Forgiveness Book | Facebook | IG | Twitter
About Kimberly Dewberry
Kimberly Dewberry struggled for 25 years to cope with the pain, hurt, guilt, regret, unworthiness, and shame brought on by her father’s addictions. Because of the loving grace of Jesus Christ, she has broken free from the shackles of rebellion and anger, and made it her life’s mission to share her journey through courageous prose.
Kimberly and her husband Patrick are the parents of 6 grown children between them and live in the Dallas area with their two super cute Boston terriers, Delilah and Daphne. Kimberly enjoys writing, reading, Bible art journaling, participating in Bible studies, and dating her husband.
SHARE A COMMENT WITH US: Did you grow up in an alcoholic home? How did your parent’s disease affect your life? How did God help you deal with the pain and brokenness?
