by Barb Roose | Apr 14, 2016 | Reflections, Women's Topics
Earlier this week I received the newest issue of Weight Watcher’s Magazine. I receive the subscription because a lady showed up at my door last summer. She had eight kids and selling magazines was her first legit job after a lifetime trapped in drugs and prostitution. While I’m normally a skeptic when I hear such stories, there was something about this woman that made me want to cheer for her. So, I bought a subscription.
As I looked at the cover of this month’s issue, I saw a picture of Oprah, who was sharing her newest favorite workout. My eye wandered and saw “101 Ways to Appreciate Food and Fun.” Then, I saw this headline:
“11 Incredible Women BARE ALL: A Weight Watchers First!”
Normally naked women appeared in magazines that arrive in doorsteps in brown paper bags. But, Weight Watchers must have felt adding the word “incredible” somehow justified the word “naked” hanging out next to it.
This got me to wondering: If these women are incredible, then why do they need to be naked? Why are they more incredible without clothes?
Has Weight Watchers has joined “The Naked Bandwagon”?
Yes, there is a naked bandwagon and it’s been around for a long time. You just haven’t seen it in your neighborhood. It mainly circled Hollywood, music, and advertising. Unlike the X-rated adult industry, The Naked Bandwagon insists on portraying coyly-positioned bodies with innocent smiles all covered under the cry of empowerment.
These days, there’s one celebrity most often associated with The Naked Bandwagon. Her recent clothing-free photo garnered over 200,000 shares on social media. While she’s made millions as a reality television star and businesswoman, she’s been deeply impacted by the harsh comments of others:
“I am empowered by feeling comfortable in my skin. I am empowered by showing the world my flaws and not being afraid of what anyone is going to say about me. And I hope that through this platform I have been given, I can encourage the same empowerment for girls and women all over the world.”
It appears that her naked photos are her way of flipping off haters who’ve viciously body-shamed her over the years.
Yes, there are a lot of horrible people on social media. We should seriously consider making people prove they are responsible enough to use Facebook or Twitter, like making them get a social media learner’s permit. Women are bullied, shamed, critiqued and condemned for their size, shape or style on a regular basis.
It’s no wonder that women are banding together and pushing back.
Now, The Naked Bandwagon is rolling into middle America. The Naked Bandwagon champions want you to believe that posing nude will give you power over your sense of inadequacy. So, if you post a naked photo, then you’ll have the last say over everyone who might have called you “fat,” “ugly” or commented “At least you’ve got a pretty face.”
Sticks and stones may break our bones and shaming names can cut us deep.
Naked or not, we’ve got three big problems:
1. We don’t like ourselves as we are.
2. We don’t feel comfortable in the skin that we’re in.
3. We worry way too much about what other people think.
I’m not immune to those three problems. I spent far too man years comparing myself to other women and I never felt like I measured up. There was always someone who was “more” than me. Every time I didn’t feel that I measured up, I would put myself down.
“If you think like a throwaway person, you’ll act like a throwaway person.”
–Lysa TerKeurst
You can be sure that for whatever area of your life that you feel less than, you treat yourself horribly in that area.
If you don’t like your body, then you’ll treat your body like you don’t like it.
Hate your smile? You probably won’t smile much.
Don’t think that you make good decisions? Then, you probably letting other people tell you what to think or influence how you act?
While I like the idea of women’s empowerment as it pertains to how we cheer each other on in life, empowerment isn’t enough to create a all-important foundation for our identity.
Everyone wants to have power. When we feel empowered, then we don’t feel at-risk.
But, the quality of our power depends on its source. That’s why I like the following verse:
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” -2 Timothy 1:6
There was a pastor in the New Testament named Paul. He sent a letter to his protégé Timothy to encourage the young man to boldly live out the call on his life. Paul references Timothy’s mother and grandmother as women of great faith and calls Timothy to that same conviction. I love that Paul highlights these women, who lived in a time when women were not often respected.
Imagine what would have happened if Timothy’s mother (Eunice) and grandmother (Lois) spent their days in fear of what others’ thought? Instead, these women knew that their empowerment to live their convictions came from God himself. That’s real empowerment!
These women were energized by God’s lavish love, the power of the Holy Spirit and the ability to patiently endure whatever came their way. While these women lived in a world that was not “for them,” they thrived because of their divine connection to an endless source of power.
For my fellow sisters in Christ, hear me on this: You’ve already got the power.
In Jesus’ name, you’ve been freed from the fear that you aren’t enough as you are.
In Jesus’ name, you’ve been freed from the shame of whatever happened in your past, whether it was forced on you or you did it to yourself.
By the power of the Holy Spirit living within you, there is no more need for shrink back or live small. God’s calling you to live BIG for Him. Honey, you can’t wait around for others to give you approval.
Stop waiting for people to give you self-worth. You are worthy because you are God’s precious daughter.
Now, live like it…with your clothes on.
REFERENCES:
1-Weight Watchers May/June 2016
2- http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/kim-kardashians-naked-selfie-is-now-a-mural-in-australia-w167359
by Barb Roose | Feb 10, 2016 | Christian Living/Discipleship, Scripture Devotional
Here’s a question that I’ve been asked many times over the years, but I’ve never had an answer for it:
“What are you giving up for Lent?”
To tell you the truth, I’ve never celebrated Lent. I grew up in the Baptist (meaning black Baptist – the clapping, shouting and gospel wing of the Baptist folks). My family also spent a few years in a Pentacostal church, too. In short, I grew up “Bapti-cost.”
In fact, I didn’t know anything about Lent until I attended junior high school. Classmates would disappear mid-morning on some random Wednesday in February. Now, during my growing years, the pastors talked A LOT about the rapture. Anytime I couldn’t find someone, I tended to get a little nervous…
Anywho, those classmates returned around lunchtime with a dark smudge on their forehead and with a solemn look on their face. It took me FOREVER to work up the nerve to point and ask, “So, what’s going on that?”
Back in the day, this is all my friends told me:
- We can’t eat meat on Fridays.
- We have to give up something that we really like.*
For my classmates, Lent drilled down to a long, miserable season of “I can’t…”
What are you planning to give up this year for Lent? Are you excited or are you dreading it?
photo credit: http://wellness.nifs.org
Is that how you feel about Lent? Are you now trapped in 40 days of “I can’t…”?
While I may not share your Lenten experiences, I regularly observe the spiritual discipline of fasting. When you think about it, Lent is just an organized, formalized expression of fasting. And as one who fasts, I share your “I can’t” Lenten struggles.
We HATE voluntarily saying “no” to something that we always say “yes” to. There’s a loud voice inside of our heads that objects to voluntary self-restraint. As soon as we make our Lenten or fasting commitment, we think that we’ll die without the thing we’re giving up. Maybe not die, but we’re going to be so miserable! If we’re being honest, we’re a little miffed at God for making us into give up stuff. Like it’s His fault that we have to do it. And, when people ask what we’re giving up, how often do we share our hostage-like sacrifice with a little sigh:
“I can’t have chocolate.”
“I can’t go shopping.”
“I can’t be on Facebook.”
“I can’t go out on Friday nights.”
Whatever comes after “I can’t” is often an indicator of what we love and value a little more than God. I’m not saying that you love chocolate more than God, but do you love indulging yourself over showing self-restraint? You may not love television more than God, but how often does television or the Internet hijack your prayer or Bible study?
What we sacrifice often reveals our spiritual struggle.
Recently, my church finished a 28-day fast in January. I decided that I would give up desserts. I LOVE DESSERT. Love, love, love, love, love dessert.
Guess what? As soon as I said that I would give up dessert, I got mad that I wouldn’t be able to have dessert. Pitiful, I know. Dessert really isn’t any big deal, but my first-world heart has become accustomed to having whatever it wants. I don’t like to eat one cookie. I like to eat lots of cookies. If you ever offer me a cookie, I hope you have a few more just in case…
Lent and fasting are all about teaching our hearts and minds to submit to God’s way of life in us. When we choose to give up something that we love for a season, we give ourselves space to strategically practice submitting to God. The more we practice submission, the less we feel terrorized by the pressure of our internal wants and desires.
Here’s a great question to ask yourself: What becomes possible when we give up something for Lent?**
Instead of focusing on the “I can’t…” of Lent or fasting, we have the incredible opportunity to transform our thinking into “I can connect…”
Think about what you’ve chosen to give up. What if during the next 40 days, you gave God that space and let Him fill it? What if the absence of that thing actually filled you with more time to connect more with God or others? Imagine the possibilities!
When I gave up desserts, each time I felt a desire for dessert, I made the choice to connect with God. I changed careers in January, so I needed to pray more. I faced some tremendous personal challenges as of late, so I needed more of God’s wisdom and peace.
Instead of looking for comfort from a sugary, creamy treat, I chose to find comfort in God. So, I prayed A LOT in January…and I lost quite a few pounds, too!
In giving up something that I loved, I gained something that I needed most: God.
What are you giving up for Lent this year? Instead of focusing on “I can’t” during this Lenten’s season, what opportunities do you have to connect with God or your family and friends more during this season? Share your Lenten memories and your suggestions that might help others in the comments.
Thanks for stopping by! If you’ve like to read more stuff like this, make sure to subscribe to barbroose.com at the top of the page. I’d love encourage you and stay in touch! Feel free to share this post with your friends – just use the share buttons at the top!
References:
- http://www.christianitytoday.com/ch/news/2004/lent.html
- This question was inspired by a similar question that leadership guru, Michael Hyatt often asks when individuals are struggling or suffering through hardship.
by Barb Roose | Oct 15, 2015 | Scripture Devotional, Women's Topics
It was the end of a wonderful, yet long 12-day trip and I was ready to go home.
My friend and co-worker, Karen and I spent one week in beautiful La Ceiba, Honduras as part of a missions trip and women’s conference. Then, we traveled to San Pedro Sula for several more days so that I could speak at another women’s gathering. Karen and I loved sharing ministry with others. Yet, after almost two weeks away from our families, we yearned to return home.
My friend, Karen and I enjoying our favorite restaurant in Honduras…Power Chicken! Amazing!
On the morning of our departure, we tossed our clothes and souvenirs into the suitcases with reckless abandon. We didn’t give a rip about separating our dirty clothes from the clean ones. Souvenirs were mixed in with our sandals and flat irons. We were getting busy getting home and didn’t care about anything except making our plane.
Our airport checking-in put the brakes on our hurry. Bag #1 weighed 63 pounds. Yes, that’s right. 63 pounds. A full 13 pounds over the limit. Our second bag hovered a slice under 50 pounds. We surely weren’t going to pay those hefty excess baggage fees, so Karen and I got down on that floor make some quick decisions. In a flurry, we shifted contents from the over-the-limit bag to our backpacks and purses. If it didn’t fit, we got rid of it. Those suitcases barely made weight, but they made it.
As women, our lives are often packed to the max.
Our days are filled with work, family, friends, hopes, hobbies, dreams and drama. We collect experiences and memories daily. Coffee with a friend is a good memory. A bad conversation with your boss is a bad one. A phone call with your mom is a good memory, but a phone call with your mom that ends in a fight is a bad one.
By the end of each day, you’ve accumulated emotional and mental baggage – whether you realize it or not. The happy or satisfying memories don’t take up too much room. They are light and uplift our hearts. But, the sad memories or bad experiences feel like bricks in our emotional and mental suitcases. They’re heavy and take up a lot of space. And, when those sad memories or bad experiences are unresolved, they remain in the bottom of our memory suitcases day after day.
Imagine yourself right now standing gripping an emotional or mental suitcase in each hand. How much does that baggage weigh?
How much painful, unresolved baggage do you carry with you each day? We all carry heartache. We all carry disappointment. But, are you carrying unnecessary baggage like unforgiveness, anger, bitterness, untreated depression or abuse? At some point, the weight of that baggage becomes too heavy. When that happens, your quality of life pays the price. How much? That depends on how much excess weight you keep carrying around each day.
If you’ve ever lugged a super heavy bag around the airport, you know the misery. That bag takes A LOT of energy to push and move. It prevents you from the excitement of the journey. It distracts you from enjoying the company of those who travel with you. It’s exhausting! After awhile, we wonder if the journey is worth it. We wonder if we should just stay home…
If you’re struggling under the weight of mental or emotional baggage, you know how hard it is just to get out of the bed each morning. You know how tough it is to gather enthusiasm to hang out with friends. All of your energy is drained by managing the feelings and memories that go along with unforgiveness, bitterness, anger or whatever else is packed away in those bags. So, how can you let go?
In a word: SURRENDER.
Just as my friend and I needed to lighten our luggage to avoid excess fees, you’ve got to lighten the load on the things in life that weigh you down. Surrender means that you willingly decide to stop carrying those emotional and mental overstuffed bags around. You decide to drop them. Unpack them. Leave that baggage behind. Yes, it’s hard to do, but it’s worth doing.
A few years ago, I heard a talk from famed pastor and author, Rick Warren titled, “How to Get Through What You’re Going Through” and he shared some excellent tips on how to let go of the painful experiences and move on:
1. Accept what can’t be changed. Acceptance doesn’t mean that you’re okay or that you’ve given up or stopped caring. It means that you acknowledge the reality of the situation. It happened.
2. Remember that it’s not the end of your story. God has put more in you and God has more for you! Once you put that baggage down, your hands and heart will be free for the future. God has a future for you!
3. Take care of yourself! Sounds a little odd, but when we drag emotional and mental pain, taking care of yourself feels like a waste of time. It’s not! Get back into the habit of caring for your body and listening for its cues. Get a haircut, buy some new clothes, eat better, go to the doctor – and even if you don’t feel like it, “fake it until you make it!”
4. Focus on God through worship. Worship is connecting with God. Worship is enlarging our view of God. When we’re focused on the suitcases, we lose sight of God. When we surrender the suitcases, we need to shift our focus somewhere. The best shift is toward God. Listen to worship music. Find friends to pray with or join a Bible study.
5. Do something productive. After dropping those overloaded burdens, the best thing to do is find someone that you can serve. Get involved with helping others – start small. This will fill your heart and mind with new experiences and memories to fill the space left by your exhausting baggage. For example: Find a soup kitchen, rock babies in the church nursery or read to kids at school.
Friends, my prayer for you is peace. Yet, the first step to peace is surrendering what’s been weighing you down. Let God have it. He can handle it, because you can’t. Turn those overstuffed, too-heavy, life-crushing bags of bad memories and pain over to God and choose to move through those steps that I mentioned above. Here’s the verse that seems to just keep showing up in my life a lot lately:
“The Lord gives his people strength. The Lord blesses them with peace.” -Psalms 29:11
Thanks for stopping by to read today’s post. Share this post with your friends if you believe this will uplift and encourage them today. By the way, I’d love to stay connected with you. Sign up for my mailing list and connect with me on social media at Facebook.com/shapestylesoul or @Barbroose.
by Barb Roose | Jun 3, 2015 | Women's Topics
I appeared on 13abc’s “Full Plate,” hosted by Rebecca Regnier to talk about my new book, Enough Already: Winning Your Ugly Struggle with Beauty. This was my first television interview related to the book and goodness, Rebecca made me feel so very confident and comfortable! I had great time! Here’s the interview – BUT keep scrolling down after the interview! Don’t miss this bonus: Rebecca graciously agreed to be interviewed for this week’s post. You can read her interview below the video. Enjoy!
Capturing a great moment with Rebecca after taping a segment for her show, “Full Plate.” She made me feel right at home and truly welcomed!
MY INTERVIEW WITH REBECCA REGNIER…As a long-time television personality and media professional, Rebecca understands the pressure and scrutiny that women face from others as well as themselves. I was thrilled when Rebecca agreed to let me interview her and share some of those thoughts with you!
Rebecca, you are public figure, so how much pressure do you feel to look or dress a certain way? How much of that pressure comes from within?
Incredible pressure, I’d say about 30 percent? It depends on the day. I am very okay with age, weight, and all that, but sometimes you just feel less than. It’s a fight to just give that up and be happy in your skin!
How do you handle situations where people make unsolicited comments about your appearance, whether positive or negative comments?
I usually feel like the comments are more about them, the negative ones I mean. I am a fairly modest dresser and I had a nasty comment once that the viewer can’t take healthy eating advice from me unless I show my body more. That’s not about me. If they’re mad at me because I’m not a stick-figure, that’s their issue. I’m a healthy, confident person – ask yourself why you have a problem with that next time you lash out at me. That said, most people are very nice.
When it’s a nice comment I have to better learn to take the compliment and not deflect. Self-deprecation is fine, funny, and can be charming, but I tend to be terrible at accepting a compliment. I’ve worked on saying “thank you” and moving on instead of tearing myself down in the name of comedy.
In 2011, you released a book called The Twitter Diet. What is your book about and how can we leverage social media to encourage and support each other as women trying to reach our goals?
The Twitter Diet is all about community and support. None of us have to be alone in whatever struggle we face whether it’s better eating, more exercise, motherhood.
The great thing is we can be supportive and get support. But keep that in mind, it is a two-way street, if you want to be lifted up you must first show people how. Be supportive and you’ll be surprised how many people are there in your time of need. And don’t forget to ask for help! I am terrible at that, I tend to “go it alone” thinking I’ll handle everything. Every single time I’m overwhelmed and reach out I am so incredibly amazed by how great people can be. They do want to help you.
Speaking of social media, there are so many messages that women absorb about beauty. How do you keep a healthy perspective about beauty as you watch articles, images and stories that flow through your newsfeed?
There is no one like me or you. Period. And while we’re bombarded by what we’re supposed to look like it is all ridiculous. Let models be models. I’m a witty, accomplished, career woman, wife, mother so are you. I know my value and what I have to offer and it does not have to do with smooth skin or size whatever.
My accomplishments and failures have zero to do with whether I was wearing skinny jeans or sweat pants that day. Zero.
As a woman, what do you think about when you look at yourself in the mirror?
Well, I think I have nice eyes that I look better when I smile, that the deep furrow in my brow was earned from being a mother of two sons and I wouldn’t erase it.
I’m less forgiving about my body, I am not a fan of some parts, I pick it apart if I catch it in a three-way mirror. I wish I had Michelle Obama or Kelly Ripa’s arms but I also remind myself that maybe if they met me they’d wish they had Rebecca Regnier-calves. I have nice calves sister. It’s all relative and we just have to appreciate all we can do. Someone said to me once that no matter who you are, ten years from now, you’ll wish you had this body/face. So, stop stressing out and enjoy the now of yourself.
On the day of the taping, I had a chance to hang out with the other guests while Rebecca’s team prepared for our interviews, yet everyone was kind and helpful – even when I accidentally got in the way while taking a few selfies…
I discovered that you are a certified fitness nutrition coach and a certified weight loss specialist. What inspired you to acquire those certifications and how do you use them?
I wanted something official. I knew a lot from reading everything out there and discovering what worked for me. So the certificates were more about formalizing it. I felt confident in what I knew and advise people in my writing and on my television show but I thought it was important for others to see that I had more than just life experience. I wanted to increase the trust that people I’m encouraging or supporting have in me.
What are you dreaming of next in life?
THIS LIFE! Writing a romantic comedy novel, creating hilarious videos for my YouTube channel, stand-up paddle boarding in the Virgin Islands!
Rebecca, I’ve got one final question – perhaps the most important of them all: Milk chocolate or dark chocolate?
My fitness nutrition brain says dark! But my inner five-year old says milk chocolate, baby!
Thanks, Rebecca! We love your amazing and authentic answers as well as your encouragement to women everywhere!
Ladies, you can watch Rebecca’s show, “Full Plate”, every Sunday on 13ABC and just recently announced that she’s joined “MomsEveryday”, a show to connect moms and families that broadcasts nationwide – so cool!
Thanks for stopping by today, ladies! If you’d like to receiving weekly encouragement or inspiration from me each week, subscribe to join my mailing list on this page. It’s easy and most importantly, your email address will stay between you and me!
God bless,
by Barb Roose | May 25, 2015 | Christian Living/Discipleship, Women's Topics
I like to keep it real.
Why? Because it’s a compete waste of time for me to pretend that I’m all put together. My house is somewhat messy these days. I’m doing pretty well when it comes to making dinner, but where’s something tragic happening in my backyard. The weeds are winning, friends…
For the most part, I’m just trying to get through each day. Like you, I have happy days, cranky days, bossy days and sometimes, just plain ‘ole you-totally-don’t-want-to-be-around-Barb days. Yesterday, I spent the afternoon wearing dirty white socks and a bad attitude.
Sometimes, I get overwhelmed. Do you? When my life is full, that’s when the tears often overflow. I’m totally not complaining, but I hope that someone can relate to seasons of life that seem to hold more experiences that my tender heart can handle.
At times, I feel like I’m holding my life together with pieces of Scotch tape. Ever worked with Scotch tape? That stuff is so good when you’re taping paper together. However, Scotch tape is a fail if you want to join two items with any weight. That’s why Scotch tape needs to stick with paper and leave the heavy lifting to something better suited. No matter how hard we try, there is a limit to what Scotch tape can do.
Sometimes, it feels like I’m trying to fix the big, important things in life with my human effort, which often resembles Scotch tape. I can do a lot of things. But, when I’m faced with some situation that I can’t fix, my first reaction is to get mad.
from bucks.blogs.nytimes.com
What is the thing in your life that you can’t control? How do you react in that disappointing moment? How does your behavior impact your relationships and your faith?
A few months ago, I was getting frustrated over a number of situations that were out of my control. This lack of control led to disappointment and anger because what I expected didn’t match the reality of was truly happening.
After I journaled about those disappointments, I put an asterisk by the situations/events that I could control or improve. Out of seven disappointments, I could only place two asterisks. Ouch.
So, I realized I had two choices:
#1 – I could be perpetually ticked off about the situations that were out of my control;
#2 – OR, I would discipline myself to accept reality (I have no control!) and create a response to my disappointment that was consistent with reality.
Here is a phrase that I have decided to repeat when disappointment descends into my life:
Here are somethings that I try to remember:
1. Even when life is tough, I know God loves me and will take care of me. (Proverbs 3:5-6, Romans 8:31, Philippians 4:6-7)
2. God has a plan and purpose for my life. He’s in control, even when I am not. (Jeremiah 29:11)
3. Difficult circumstances are often what God uses to help me become a better, more faithful person. (Romans 5:3-5)
I don’t know what you are up against today, but I do know that there are disappointments that frustrate and anger you. I also know that dealing with disappointment is often as difficult as dealing with the situation. So, I’m going to challenge you to say this phrase: “God is in control and He will take care of it” the next time you are faced with an uncontrollable situation.
While the situation might be difficult to get through, you’ll be able to endure the difficulty with confidence in God and His ability to take care of things in a way that you never could.
If you need to let God be in control of something in your life, let us know how we can pray for you in the comments below.
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