by Barb Roose | Jan 16, 2022 | Reflections
On this Martin Luther King Day, I’m reflecting today on these four quotes from Dr. King. His words still challenge me today and in our world where hate feels like it is winning over love, Dr. King reminds us to never lose hope.
Here’s Dr. King’s most well-known quote. The power imagery of his vision creates a thirst deep in my soul. The following words have become MORE, not less powerful over the years:
Here’s another quote from Dr. King. Inspired by his strong faith, Dr. King’s following quote wasn’t an aspirational pursuit. As a man mistreated, judged and jailed, these words represent his conviction. In fact, these words show us the secret source of replenishing power that Dr. King tapped into in order for his message to catch fire in individual hearts:
I remember watching the news when nine African-American people were killed in a church in Charleston. I watched a news reporter get choked up as he watched the community publicly express their forgiveness and sing songs of hope. He was stunned. It breaks my heart that people are shocked and amazed that Christians, who should be known for extending forgiveness, would actually forgive – and really mean it.
Is the shock because normal, rationale folk couldn’t see themselves offering such grace? Or, is it because we feel the prick of conviction? If the families of the shooting victims could forgive the murder of their loved ones, then do we have the right to hold onto our anger or our grudges?
When I was in junior high, my father won an award through his bowling league. But, he was denied entry into the building where the award ceremony was being held. He was denied entry because of his skin color. In the days that followed, I remember our phone ringing off the hook. Local authorities, news media and a few phone calls from higher-ups in the government. I don’t remember how the situation resolved, I just remember that my father made the life-giving decision to forgive and move on. While the incident left a mark, he refused to let it take over his life. That moment had a huge impression on my life. I remember my father’s example when I experience racism and prejudice.
Forgiveness allows me to move on and fight forward rather than getting stuck with my fists pounding the same ground.
When do you speak up?
Dr. King didn’t speak up just because he wanted to be heard. He spoke up so that people could live. There was no hatred in his speech. And for those who may want to highlight his human failings, go right ahead. We can speak up without being perfect. You don’t have to be perfect to stand up for what is right.
What is the cost of your silence? What is the cost of being polite and letting your friends continue to say ignorant, prejudicial or racists things? No one ever makes a difference in this world by keeping silent. A.M. Rosenthal says this: “When something important is going on, silence is a lie.”
When we hate another, we diminish ourselves.
When we judge another, we condemn ourselves.
When we love another, we sustain ourselves.
We’re all in this together. As long as we stand under the banner of the US flag, we share this homeland together. We’re going to rise and fall together.
LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW: Which Dr. King quote inspires you the most?
NEXT STEP: If you’d like to honor Dr. King’s work in our world by learning more about race, grace and the gospel, you can check out my (G)race Project. This is a specially curated page of content that I’ve written about race and the gospel. Click here to check it out.
by Barb Roose | Jul 1, 2021 | Uncategorized
Three years ago today that I backed up a 18’ U-Haul truck down a narrow alley behind a newly renovated apartment building.
It was over 90 degrees that day, so I couldn’t really tell the difference between my sweat and my tears.
When I took French in school, we learned the phrase “C’est la vie” which is translates “such is life.” This phrase is used when life doesn’t go as planned.
Three years ago today was never in my plans.
The addiction that robbed our family of its wholeness and then came back and suffocated us until we had to leave wasn’t in my plans.
Leaving my home of over 20 years where I raised my kids was never in my plans.
The divorce, starting my life over at 45 alone, still attending family addiction recovery support meetings…none of that was never in my plans.
C’est la vie.
No doubt, you’ve got a few days on the calendar in your life that didn’t go as planned. Maybe right now, you’re in a life-or-death grip, holding on to someone or something that you’re trying to keep together…but it’s tearing you apart.
The best that you can give yourself in life’s “C’est la vie” moments is the Gift of Surrender.
Surrender isn’t giving up.
Surrender isn’t giving in.
Surrender is a gift that we give ourselves.
We surrender when we give over what we love or care about to God because we finally humbly accept that only He can handle it.
Surrender is your only path to peace.
Today, there is still grief and sadness in remembering, but in my living there is blessed shalom. Over the years, God has been abundantly faithful to His promise to give me the peace that truly does blows my mind.
God's love held me together when I was falling apart.
God has provided more than I could ask or imagine.
He healed the heartache.
He surrounded me with the support that I needed.
God wants to do the same for you. Is there something that you’re trying to hold together, but it’s tearing you apart?
What or who do you need to surrender today?
If you need a simple prayer, you can use this: God, I can’t, but You can and I will let you. Amen.
by Barb Roose | Mar 27, 2018 | Christian Living/Discipleship, Joshua & Winning the Worry Battle
By Barb Roose
For most of my adult life, I thought that being a worrier was a sign that I cared about others.
If I worried about someone that meant that I cared about their safety and happiness. So, I would devote my mental energy to identifying all of the ways that my family or friends might miss optimum happiness, hurt or kill themselves. It didn’t matter if they were thinking about trying a new hairstyle or daring to attend a college across the country, I was going to point out everything that could possibly go wrong so that they could avoid a tragedy.
But, what happens to us when we spend our time thinking about all of the things that could hurt, harm or kill the people in our lives? Eventually, our minds get stuck in that kind of worst-case scenario thinking. Did you know that 85% of what we’re afraid of happening never actually happens? So, when you’re churning all of the “what-if” scenarios about your daughter going on a missions’ trip or your son heading off to college, 85% of what you are stressing out about won’t happen.
Why do we believe that worrying is a symbol of caring for others?
If we worry about people because we care about them, then why does worry only produce negative feelings in us? I don’t know about you, but the more I allowed myself to worry, the more trapped I felt in a world of worry. Instead of feeling happiness for the people that I loved, I began to only feel fear, which opposes and tries to suffocate the power of love.
Here are three ways that worry makes us feel crazy:
1. Worry pretends to be productive.
When nothing changes, you feel crazy because you thought that by worrying you were actually doing something to make positive change happen.
2. Worry doesn’t have to work hard work to take over your mind.
Worry feels like your subscription to Netflix. It’s always available and once you begin streaming WorryFlix, you end up binge-worrying your entire life before you know it.
3. Worry produces horrible feelings that stress you out during the day and keep you up at night.
Isn’t it amazing how something in your mind makes your body respond in real ways? While you’re imagining the worst, your heart is racing and you feel real fear. Have you ever finished worrying and REAL tears were streaming down your face? And it was all in your imagination…
How worry made me feel crazy and out of control…
Seventeen years ago, my battle with worry peaked when one of my kids was struggling at school. Her teacher sent home notes and we had numerous meetings. I loved my sweet girl, but my fear over her future consumed me. Dozens of “what if” worst case scenarios drove me crazy! For weeks, I stressed out over my child’s health during the day and I paced the floor because I couldn’t sleep at night. Like Jesus said in Matthew 6:27, all of my worries didn’t add a single quality moment to my life or my child’s life.
So, what changed? I had to admit that worry was my flawed way of playing God instead of taking the time to pray to God.
Then, I had to replace those places in my mind where worry got good and comfortable with God’s Word. I had to commit myself to filling my brain with Bible verses that spoke against worry like this one:
Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.
—1 Peter 5:7
If you’ve always been a worrier, can I suggest that you either memorize this verse or type it into your cell phone. Whenever worry tries to take up space in your life, allow God to use this verse to kick that worry out of your mind and replace it with peace. Trust me, it does work! But, you’ve got to put the work into it!
Do I still worry at times? Yes! I’ll always have to fight against worry, but I don’t have to live as a worrier.
When you know how to use God’s Word to win against worry, you will wake up energized every day and excited about life because you know that God will give you victory over any worry that comes your way. Don’t waste another day of your life fighting a losing worry battle!
Don’t waste another day of your life fighting a losing worry battle!
LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW: Are you a worrier? What things do you worry about most?
About Barb Roose…
Barb loves reaching women and teaching them to win at life with God-empowered strength and dignity. She is the author of multiple books and Bible studies, including April 2018 releases, Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle (Bible study) and Winning the Worry Battle. She is the host of the Better Together Podcast and loves diving into tough topics that women want to know. Barb and her husband, Matt, are the parents of three daughters. Barb loves Jesus, travel, her FitBit, chocolate-peanut butter ice cream, and fabulous high heel shoes.
by Barb Roose | Nov 26, 2017 | Christian Living/Discipleship
At midnight on the day after Thanksgiving, my oldest daughter sailed down the stairs with her iPod on full blast with Christmas music. “It’s finally time!” she proclaimed.
In my house, all Christmas music is banned until the day after Thanksgiving. I don’t have anything against Christmas music, but I can only hear Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You” so many times before I feel a little Grinchy inside.
Now it’s Christmas season.
This year, I’m grappling with a few tensions that most of you understand: First, how do I celebrate the holiday without making myself crazy?
Next, I’m dealing with the recent loss of my father, so I’m still adjusting to that new normal in my life. How do I balance the time that I need to grieve with desire to spend time celebrating one of the wonderful times of the year with friends and family?
For the past few years, I’ve worked on actually planning how I want to experience the weeks between Thanksgiving and New Years’. This planning isn’t about what I want to do, but who do I want to be during this amped up, non-stop season.
Here are a few goals that I try to hold onto each Christmas season. Perhaps, one or two of these might inspire you:
1. Let Christmas begin IN you.
People talk about letting Christmas begin WITH them, like taking the first step. But, what if you and I decided that our Christmas was already complete because of Christ? If our Christmas was already complete, then we can reject the pressure of to-lists, unrealistic expectations, and the materialistic allure of more, more, more. Letting Christmas begin IN me is the attitude that Jesus came to fill in my deepest longings and each day I will celebrate that over everything else.
2. Be JoyFULL.
The perfect Christmas family photo will look great on Facebook, but it won’t fill your heart. Planning the perfect Christmas dinner might make you happy in the moment, but what about after the meal is over?
Gratitude will fill the empty place in your heart, even if the kids can’t make it home this year or there’s less on the tree. Gratitude keeps you from chasing the crazy of Christmas.
Start filling up with joy by listing 25 blessings each day, like enjoying a hot cup of coffee or a well-timed hug from a friend. Making a list of 25 causes you to dig deep and really pay attention to what God is doing all around you that you’ve likely missed.
3. Be PeaceFULL
Be filled with calm that comes from knowing that you are only in control of one thing this Christmas season: you.
We get all crazy during the holidays because we think everything needs to be done. Everything doesn’t need to be done and we don’t need to do it.
If you want to do something, then do it. If you have to do something, that’s another thing. But, we don’t need to be Christmas martyrs. If someone at school doesn’t sign up to bring cookies and you don’t like to bake them, don’t sign up. The kids won’t die without the cookies. Same for the office or family gathering.
For all you self-proclaimed martyrs out there, here’s one of my favorite movie lines every from Dolly Parton’s character in the movie Straight Talk: “Get off the cross, honey. Somebody needs the wood.”
4. Be HopeFULL
Even as our world feels crazy and out-of-control, the people in Jesus’ time felt the same about Roman rule. Yet, hope was born in manager and most of the world never knew it. The same applies today. We have hope and the world doesn’t yet know the same hope that we have. When you live with hope, those around you take notice. One of the greatest gifts that you can give this Christmas season is to share Jesus’ hope with those around you.
I’d love to hear from you! Post a comment below and share: Are you dealing with difficult circumstances this year? Which one of the four suggestions above is most helpful for you to focus on this year?
Pssst…looking for a gift idea for your daughter, niece, granddaughter or friend. Click here for a special gift offer!
by Barb Roose | Sep 10, 2017 | Better Together Podcast
In the newest episode of the Better Together podcast, I sharing four bridges that will help you build connection with your teen and adult daughters:
1. Kind Words – How do you speak to your daughter? What we say is most often a reflection of our heart, not our daughter’s actions. Our kind words can actually heal the emotional and physical pain that our daughters experience in life.
2. Discover Her Love Language – Do you know your daughter’s love language? Both of you can take the free test at the fivelovelanguages.com. When you invest 10-15 minutes per day in “speaking” her love language, you build resiliency into her life and she’ll have the reserve to dig deep and tackle the problems that she’s facing.
3. Ask Before You Accuse – How many of us jump to conclusions when a negative situation happens? We can build a connection instead of creating conflict when we calmly and kindly ask, “Can you tell me what happened?” and listen to what she has to say.
4. “Open the Door” – Getting our daughter to talk can be tricky because she has a lot on her mind. I share a tip to open up communication with your daughter. Listen to the podcast to find out more!
RESOURCES
The Parenting Teens Summit
An online experience designed to help you thrive as a parent of a teenager. Over 40 different Christian authors and thoughts leaders are ready to share their unique insight with you. Featured speakers include Dr. James Dobson, Dr. Juli Slattery, Dr. Paul David Tripp, Craig Gross, Kimm Carr, Craig Groeschel, and Dr. Kathy Koch, among others.
Parenting Teen Summit starts September 11-27! Click here to find out more and register!
FREE eBook
Mom, is your young daughter comparing herself to her friends? Has she made comments about how she looks or shows signs of low self-esteem? Download a free copy of my ebook, 10 Beauty Essentials to Teach Your Daughter. Reach her now with God’s beautiful truth so that she can learn how to push back against our culture’s impossible beauty standards. It’s not too early to help your daughter avoid an ugly struggle with beauty. Click here to download.
When do you speak up? 
