by Barb Roose | Jun 7, 2016 | Uncategorized
Have you ever been caught in a raging summer storm? So scary! In Mark 6, Jesus’ disciples were caught in a storm that terrified them, too. Jesus showed up and spoke three phrases for us to remember when storms of life blow our way.
In Mark 6, Jesus and the disciples were out sharing the gospel. Ministry work can take a long time, so they ended up feeding 5,000 people with a young boy’s lunch of five loaves and two fishes.
I always wondered how the young man answered when his mom asked, “Honey, did you eat all of your lunch today?”
Afterward, Jesus told the disciples to meet him across the lake while he stayed behind to say good-bye to the crowds. The disciples got into their boat and began to row. However, as they reached the middle of the lake a fierce storm kicked up on the water. Quickly, their lives were in peril.
I’ve been on five cruises – and I always get sea sick. In fact, if I don’t wear Seabands and take oral medicine, it won’t take long before I toss my beloved cookies all over the place. #TMI
It was even worse for the disciples in their boat. Can you imagine their grim faces or hear their pounding heartbeats? Picture them shouting as they struggled to hold onto their slippery wet oars and row against the pounding waves. Can you see their battered boat slamming back and forth like a little ball between paddle-shaped waves.
It was in the middle of this chaos that Jesus shows up. Walking on the water.
NBD.
Funny, Jesus knew how to get their attention.
Furthermore, Mark 6:48 actually says, “He intended to go past them…” But, when the disciples saw Jesus, they freaked out. They forget about their current situation and yelled for help. Save us, Jesus! We’re going to die out here!
Jesus responded with the following three statements in Mark 6:50: Don’t be afraid. Take courage! I’m here!
These three statements tell us about how Jesus shows up during the storms in our lives. He doesn’t stand at a distance shouting, “Yikes, that’s a hot mess. Good luck with that.”
Jesus comes and climbs into our chaos with us. Most of all, he brings peace in the midst of our storm.
Is there a stormy place in your life today where Jesus is speaking those words to you?
The storms in our lives are just as real as what the disciples faced that day. This is hard to hear but God allows dark, painful and devastating storms in our lives. All of us. What’s your storm? Infertility. Abandonment. Depression. Financial Issues, Marriage Struggles. Divorce. Infidelity. Wayward kids. Addiction. Illness. Grief. Death. Heartache. Singleness. Shame. Abuse. Bullying. Or something else…
Some of us have been rowing through angry, crashing waves for a long time – and we’re tired.
Jesus, please make this go away…
I’m tired, Jesus. I don’t know if I can keep going…
Save me, Jesus. Oh, please save me…
We’re all in the same boat, sisters. There is always a storm brewing, raging or dying down in our lives. That is the painful rhythm of our fallen world.
But, we are never alone. Jesus shows up in our chaotic lives and whispers:
“Don’t be afraid. I know that it’s bad, but keep your eyes on me. You don’t have to figure it all out or fix it. Focus on me. I know what you need and I can give you peace.”
“Take courage, honey. You can do hard things because I will uphold and strengthen you. You will endure because I live within you and my Spirit gives you power to persevere.
“I’m here and I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart. Others may have abandoned you, failed you or left you alone standing at the curb. But, I’m here right beside you. Always.”
You are never alone.
SHARE YOUR COMMENT BELOW: Which one of Jesus’ three statements did you need to hear today?
Thank you for checking out this post. If you think that it will encourage another woman in your life, feel free to share it!
by Barb Roose | May 15, 2016 | Christian Living/Discipleship, Women's Topics
Before I opened my eyes last Monday morning, I knew that I was struggling.
Even as my eyes remained closed, I felt the shadow of the dark cloud hovering over me. I struggled against some leaded, emotional weight pushing deep into my heart causing an ache that I couldn’t figure out.
I’m no Debbie Downer. Unless someone throws a spider at me or swipes the last cookie, I’m generally in a good mood. But, not always. Like you, there are times in life when I feel down.
Last Monday was one of those down days.
I felt as if my joy had been snatched away. My energy was MIA, too. Overnight, my mojo became a no-go.
Am I depressed?
Seven years ago, I endured a year-long struggle with depression and anger. At first, I went to counseling. Then, my wise family doctor suggested medicine. Yes, Lord! The combination of counseling and an antidepressant restored my mental wellness and clarity. I wouldn’t be where I’m at today without mental health and medical intervention.
So, last week I wondered if I was experiencing some early depression. I wasn’t bothered by the thought, especially since I knew where to find help. (By the way, here’s a tremendous article on anxiety and depression.)
As I pondered that question, I forced myself out of bed to start my morning routine. I still hoped that the solution to my sadness was simply explained.
I ate breakfast. Didn’t help.
I worked out. And I cried during my workout. Not good.
I engaged in my daily bible reading. Always helpful. But…
My sadness clung to me like a two-year toddler who doesn’t want to go to daycare.
Next, I went for a prayer walk. I ended up at the art museum in my neighborhood. There’s a beautiful sculpture garden in front of the museum that features large works of art with aromatic flower gardens all around.
As I stood in the sculpture garden, I begged God to lift my sadness.
God, if you can’t lift my sadness, PLEASE let me feel Your presence.
I spent about an hour walking among the flowers and laying atop a giant tire swing looking at the blue sky. Yet, streaming tears still flowed down my face.
The heaviness refused to go away. But, God was there with me.
Have you ever felt your joy just disappear?
Often, we can point to certain life circumstances that shift us from happy into sadness. Financial issues. Relationship conflict. Job drama. Rebellious kids. Lack of sleep. Medical issues. Any one or two of those rain down on our lives and we’re not surprised when we feel a little down.
Our usual strategy for dealing with our sadness includes the “four big binges”:
Binge eating
Binge watching
Binge drinking
Binge sleeping
When we’re feeling bad, it’s easy to overdo things that are bad for us. No judgement here. I’ve done it, too. But, there’s a truth that we cannot ignore: Over-doing anything on the binge list will undermine your mental and physical health.
“It’s okay not to be okay, but it’s not safe to stay there.”
This is something that we say at our church often. Why? Because no one is perfect and we all struggle. However, struggle isn’t an excuse to sit and do nothing.
Taking care of yourself is an action and it doesn’t happen by accident. Your life matters and no one else can take care of you, but you!
Repeat after me: When I’m feeling my worst, I must care for myself the BEST!
For me, that means that I must be extra kind to myself. So, I followed this “Take Care of Me” plan on that difficult Monday:
I didn’t punish myself for having a bad day. No negative self-talk!
I ate healthy foods and stayed away from unhealthy foods that I would regret later.
I soaked in the bathtub and used all of my favorite bath salts and scrubs.
I listened to music and read books that were good for my heart, mind and soul.
Conclusion…
While my sad mood persisted, I felt good about taking care of myself. The next morning I reached out to a few close friends for support. I knew that if my sadness continued for a week that I’d get some medical help. NOTE: If you’ve been sad and feeling at a loss for more than two weeks, you NEED to call your healthcare provider.
For the next couple of days, I kept taking care of myself. Eventually, the dark cloud lifted and I know that intentional, active self-care made a HUGE difference.
TELL ME! How do you take care of yourself when you’re feeling down? Share your comments and help another woman out there! Share this post with your friends, too!
A FREE GIFT FOR YOU!
I’ve created a webpage with a list of 101 Ways for You to Care For Yourself. If you struggle with self-care, print this list and commit to doing at least five things on this list per day.
Thanks to the ladies on my Enough Already Launch Team for helping me brainstorm the list!
by Barb Roose | May 5, 2016 | Uncategorized
Maybe no one has ever told you this before, but it’s good to grieve the dreams that never will be.
Almost 10 years ago, my Christian counselor taught me the importance of having ‘funerals’ for the dreams or expectations that were never going to be. I get real messed up when I hold onto certain expectations or hopes in life. As the Proverbs say, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.” That can be so true for me! So, in order for me to live in God’s plan for my life, I have to practice letting go of my plans. But, it’s hard to let unrealized hopes and dreams die. That’s why “funerals” are an important ritual in my life.
Once a year or so, I take an afternoon and head down to my favorite spot at a local park overlooking the river and have a funeral for my lost dreams. I bring a blanket to sit on, my bible and lots of tissues!
I spend time with God acknowledging those things that will never be. I really wanted those dreams to come true! But they didn’t. So this is my funeral prayer:
“I dreamed that (insert dream) but that dream isn’t going to come true. I really wanted it God! And it hurts, but I need to let that dream die. I need to mourn it and move it out of my heart so that You can fill the space with a new thing for me.”
When we don’t grieve our lost dreams or unfulfilled expectations, our hearts get cluttered and chaotic.
Surrender is the path to peace.
God has great plans for you, my friends!
You have permission to bravely let go – and wait confidently for God to plant His new dream in your heart!
TALK BACK TIME: Have you let go of a dream and God gave you a new one? If so, share your comments with us and encourage someone today! We’d love to hear from you!
by Barb Roose | May 2, 2016 | Christian Living/Discipleship, Scripture Devotional, Women's Topics
Last week, someone posted a message to me on Facebook. I think that it was a misunderstanding, but when I read the message, I went “WHOA! What’s THIS?!” My eyes got real big and I re-read the message from a fellow believer. Someone who loved Jesus just like I do. However, the words I read felt like a slap across my face. And I got mad!
My first thought was: Oh-no-you-did-n’t!
Fast as lightening, I started typing back. My fingers flew over my keyboard as I clicked out a polite, yet sharp rebuttal. My heart felt like she did me wrong and I wanted to show her who was right!
The more I typed, the more I got more riled up. As I paused to read my brilliant response, I felt my spirit stir. I believe that it was the Holy Spirit that whispered, Stop. Delete.
Umm, I’ve got some good stuff here.
Delete.
I sighed and clicked delete. I sat and stewed in my hurt. Then, I tried to come up with another way around the Spirit’s leading. No dice. So, I bravely engaged in a little rumble with myself. If you’ve read Brene Brown’s Rising Strong, she talks about having the courage to “rumble” with difficult emotions. My rumble revealed that my pride was hurt. Simple as that. I was offended and I wanted to strike back.
The old saying remains the same: Two wrongs don’t make a right. If I would have sent that note, I wouldn’t have sent it the note in love. I would have sent it to prove that I was right.
(And if I proved that I was right, maybe my feelings wouldn’t be so hurt.)
Striking back just strikes another match by the gas can. How many relationships have we blown up over hurt feelings or hurt pride?
So, I had to sit there in my discomfort and let the bad feelings pass. Man, that was hard. Later, I sent a different response, thanking the individual for the comment and suggestion. It was hard, but God is ALWAYS teaching me humility!
The greatest commodity that we have is LOVE. It’s the currency that God requires us to share with the world. The coins of God’s love are kindness, respect and generosity. That’s why the following scripture is so powerful:
If someone says, "I love God" but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don't love the people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?' -1 John 4:20
The Greek word “hate” in this verse is miseo, which means to detest or love less. Yikes! Love is the one way that we can show the world that we are different. These days, Christians are working so hard to show the world that they are right, but we struggle to love toward each other.
Friends, if we mess this up, we might as cancel weekend services, shut up and go home.
While there’s a lot of things happening in our culture that swing far from God’s intentions, why do we think the world will be attracted to the gospel if we can’t be kind to each other? I know that the recent Target news is shocking, but ask yourself whether or not your posts and comments build a bridge for the gospel or put up barriers? When believers are fighting with each other, unbelievers see it and shake their heads. How can our world believe that God’s love can transform them if they can’t see the evidence in us?
Practically speaking, how do we do this? Here’s a verse that I’ve been meditating on a lot lately:
"Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry." -James 1:9
Question: Who’s usually quick to speak and slow to listen? (You should know that my hand is in the air…)
I’m not always a great listener and I can be Usain Bolt-fast with a reply. Yet, to love people means that I need to HEAR their words and hear their heart. How about you? How does this verse challenge you today?
So a quick temperature check for all of us:
Is there another believer that you need to forgive?
Is there another believer that you need to call and apologize to for something you’ve said?
Is there another believer that you need to reach out and help because he or she needs it?
How can you love others better today?
by Barb Roose | Apr 14, 2016 | Reflections, Women's Topics
Earlier this week I received the newest issue of Weight Watcher’s Magazine. I receive the subscription because a lady showed up at my door last summer. She had eight kids and selling magazines was her first legit job after a lifetime trapped in drugs and prostitution. While I’m normally a skeptic when I hear such stories, there was something about this woman that made me want to cheer for her. So, I bought a subscription.
As I looked at the cover of this month’s issue, I saw a picture of Oprah, who was sharing her newest favorite workout. My eye wandered and saw “101 Ways to Appreciate Food and Fun.” Then, I saw this headline:
“11 Incredible Women BARE ALL: A Weight Watchers First!”
Normally naked women appeared in magazines that arrive in doorsteps in brown paper bags. But, Weight Watchers must have felt adding the word “incredible” somehow justified the word “naked” hanging out next to it.
This got me to wondering: If these women are incredible, then why do they need to be naked? Why are they more incredible without clothes?
Has Weight Watchers has joined “The Naked Bandwagon”?
Yes, there is a naked bandwagon and it’s been around for a long time. You just haven’t seen it in your neighborhood. It mainly circled Hollywood, music, and advertising. Unlike the X-rated adult industry, The Naked Bandwagon insists on portraying coyly-positioned bodies with innocent smiles all covered under the cry of empowerment.
These days, there’s one celebrity most often associated with The Naked Bandwagon. Her recent clothing-free photo garnered over 200,000 shares on social media. While she’s made millions as a reality television star and businesswoman, she’s been deeply impacted by the harsh comments of others:
“I am empowered by feeling comfortable in my skin. I am empowered by showing the world my flaws and not being afraid of what anyone is going to say about me. And I hope that through this platform I have been given, I can encourage the same empowerment for girls and women all over the world.”
It appears that her naked photos are her way of flipping off haters who’ve viciously body-shamed her over the years.
Yes, there are a lot of horrible people on social media. We should seriously consider making people prove they are responsible enough to use Facebook or Twitter, like making them get a social media learner’s permit. Women are bullied, shamed, critiqued and condemned for their size, shape or style on a regular basis.
It’s no wonder that women are banding together and pushing back.
Now, The Naked Bandwagon is rolling into middle America. The Naked Bandwagon champions want you to believe that posing nude will give you power over your sense of inadequacy. So, if you post a naked photo, then you’ll have the last say over everyone who might have called you “fat,” “ugly” or commented “At least you’ve got a pretty face.”
Sticks and stones may break our bones and shaming names can cut us deep.
Naked or not, we’ve got three big problems:
1. We don’t like ourselves as we are.
2. We don’t feel comfortable in the skin that we’re in.
3. We worry way too much about what other people think.
I’m not immune to those three problems. I spent far too man years comparing myself to other women and I never felt like I measured up. There was always someone who was “more” than me. Every time I didn’t feel that I measured up, I would put myself down.
“If you think like a throwaway person, you’ll act like a throwaway person.”
–Lysa TerKeurst
You can be sure that for whatever area of your life that you feel less than, you treat yourself horribly in that area.
If you don’t like your body, then you’ll treat your body like you don’t like it.
Hate your smile? You probably won’t smile much.
Don’t think that you make good decisions? Then, you probably letting other people tell you what to think or influence how you act?
While I like the idea of women’s empowerment as it pertains to how we cheer each other on in life, empowerment isn’t enough to create a all-important foundation for our identity.
Everyone wants to have power. When we feel empowered, then we don’t feel at-risk.
But, the quality of our power depends on its source. That’s why I like the following verse:
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” -2 Timothy 1:6
There was a pastor in the New Testament named Paul. He sent a letter to his protégé Timothy to encourage the young man to boldly live out the call on his life. Paul references Timothy’s mother and grandmother as women of great faith and calls Timothy to that same conviction. I love that Paul highlights these women, who lived in a time when women were not often respected.
Imagine what would have happened if Timothy’s mother (Eunice) and grandmother (Lois) spent their days in fear of what others’ thought? Instead, these women knew that their empowerment to live their convictions came from God himself. That’s real empowerment!
These women were energized by God’s lavish love, the power of the Holy Spirit and the ability to patiently endure whatever came their way. While these women lived in a world that was not “for them,” they thrived because of their divine connection to an endless source of power.
For my fellow sisters in Christ, hear me on this: You’ve already got the power.
In Jesus’ name, you’ve been freed from the fear that you aren’t enough as you are.
In Jesus’ name, you’ve been freed from the shame of whatever happened in your past, whether it was forced on you or you did it to yourself.
By the power of the Holy Spirit living within you, there is no more need for shrink back or live small. God’s calling you to live BIG for Him. Honey, you can’t wait around for others to give you approval.
Stop waiting for people to give you self-worth. You are worthy because you are God’s precious daughter.
Now, live like it…with your clothes on.
REFERENCES:
1-Weight Watchers May/June 2016
2- http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/kim-kardashians-naked-selfie-is-now-a-mural-in-australia-w167359
