While enjoying a scrumptious cobb salad over lunch with a beautiful friend recently, she asked about what was happening in my life. I told her about the difficulties that my husband and I were facing. After I shared my story, this dear friend asked, “So, what do you think will happen?”
It’s not the first time that I’ve gotten that question. Most everyone asking wants to know because they are praying for us. So many of you care about our family. God bless you!
But, I also know that it’s human nature for us to want to fill in the blanks when the lines on the page are empty. Perhaps you’ve heard Aristotle’s classic quote: “Nature abhors a vacuum.” In other words, our world hates the unknown and we’ll fill in any answer just to make sure there is an answer, even if it’s wrong.
Uncertainty makes us uncomfortable because without answers, we’re not sure if we’re going to be okay. It’s tempting for us to believe that God doesn’t care. Seriously God, do you know see my life dangling over this cliff? Are YOU gonna fix this or what?!
The control freak in me loves to rebel against uncertainty. In years past I’d do everything in my power, including trying to force solutions to fill in the blanks of uncertainty. I used to rationalize that I was helping God out. Like God actually needed my help. What I really wanted was peace. I thought that fixing people or situations would give me the peace that I was looking for. More often than not, my attempts would result in more pain, not peace.
Uncertainty also creates a dangerous temptation for Christians. The temptation is for us to get on our spiritual high horses and speculate on what we think that God will do. While I believe in spiritual gifts of prophecy and discernment, I cringe when I hear well-meaning Christians say things like, “Oh, I know that God will heal your sister of cancer” or “You just wait! God’s gonna give you a job real soon that will pay twice as much as your other job.”
Friends, we should be careful speculating about what God will and won’t do beyond the promises He has already made to us.
We can trust this truth: God is always at work whether we can see it or not.
But, we cannot know what God is working out behind the scenes and within people’s hearts. Can God heal someone of cancer? Of course! Does He heal everyone? No. Just the same, God can provide jobs and double incomes, but He also allows long-term unemployment, too. God IS the God of miracles! I’ve seen it and you probably have, too. And then God also allows heartache. I’ve experienced it and you have, too.
God hasn’t forgotten about you even as His answer to your prayers still seem to be “wait and see.”
In a long message to the Israelites before they entered the Promise Land, Moses said to the people: “The Lord our God has secrets known to no one. We are not accountable for them, but we and our children are accountable forever for all that he has revealed to us, so that we may obey all the terms of these instructions.” -Deuteronomy 29:29
The reality is that there are things that God only knows and we don’t need to carry the weight of trying to figure the future out. However, God has given us the responsiblity and accountablilty of trusting Him. That’s why I love God’s instructions to Joshua as the new leader of God’s people faced uncertainty at the entrance of the Promised Land. While God is working out His purpose in our lives, He gives us directions to follow Him while He is working. Trusting God in uncertain times doesn’t mean that we sit around and do nothing.
Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.” -Joshua 1:8 NLT
Instead of speculating on the future, we study God’s words to us; Instead of making guesses, we mediate on God’s promises; Instead of operating on our own agenda, we obey God’s instructions.
God knows that when we assume accountability for what we can’t control, we will end up stressed out and out of control.
While we think that knowing everything that God knows will relieve the stress of uncertainty in our lives, that’s actually not the case. Think about how complex your life is today. Now, imagine God sent you an email telling you about all of the job changes, babies born, health issues, exciting summer trips, and goodbyes of the next ten years. The stress of all of that information would be too much bear, wouldn’t it?
In my struggle with uncertainty, I’ve discovered three insights that have brought me peace and helped me to embrace uncertainty:
God protects me with what He doesn’t tell me as much as He blesses me with what He does reveal.
I don’t want to be responsible for everything that God knows.
God has given me the knowledge and information that I can handle right now.
So, when my friend asked me over lunch, “What do you think will happen with your marriage?” I answered confidently, “I don’t know. I’m waiting for God’s future for me to unfold.”
It feels good to say that and actually find peace in it and know that I’ve surrendered control. God’s promises are far greater than whatever we’re facing today. As we walk the messy middle of uncertainty by keeping our eyes on God, we actually get stronger!
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. -Isaiah 40:31 NLT
If uncertainty is causing you a great deal of stress today, stop in this moment and take a deep breath. God is with you and for you in every circumstance.
Uncertainty is tough. But you can take a first step to letting go of trying to figure things out. Can you start with believing just a little that God has only given you the knowledge and resources that you can handle right now? Just believe that a little bit. Whatever you are missing in your life is where God will fill in the blanks in His time. You can be certain that as you trust Him, He will take care of you every step of the way.
If you love to-do lists, then you’re going to love my conversation with Katie M. Reid, author of Made Like Martha: Good News for the Woman Who Gets Things Done. Katie is a self-described modern-day Martha who struggled with the well-known story of two women with two different approaches to life in Luke 10.
Have you ever read the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10? It’s a story of two women named Martha and Mary. In one particular situation, Martha worked to get her home prepared to offer hospitality while her sister, Mary sat at Jesus’ feet. When Martha asked Jesus to instruct Mary to help, Jesus answered with the following words: “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all of these details. There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it and it will not be taken from her.” (Luke 10:41-42 NLT)
Too many of us have read this story and walked away with the conclusion that Jesus was criticizing Martha for trying to get things done. However, Katie challenges us to consider that Jesus didn’t condemn Martha’s method. Rather, Jesus invited her to change her mindset. Instead of being worried and distracted, Martha was encouraged to experience Jesus’ inner peace instead of trying to live up to unrealistic expectations.
So, if you’re made like Martha and you’re tired of trying to do it all, live up to unrealistic expectations or you’re beating yourself up for not being perfect, today’s conversation is just for you.
Join today’s conversation and listen as Katie and I discuss:
How to stop beating yourself up for being a hard-working Martha;
How to say “yes,” “no” and most importantly, when to ask for help;
How to swap out trying to balance our lives and learn how to “steward” our lives instead;
Helpful tips to enjoy being made like Martha and get things done without getting burnt out.
Bonus! Talk back to us and share your answers to the following:
Should bathroom toilet paper be hung over or under?
Do you squeeze toothpaste be squeezed from the middle or rolled from the bottom?
Do your fold or crumple your toilet paper before wiping?
Barb Roose is a popular speaker and author who is passionate about equipping women to win at life with Christ-empowered strength and dignity. Barb loves speaking at women’s conference and leadership events such as the Aspire Women’s Events, She Speaks Conference and the UMC Leadership Institute.
Barb is the author of multiple books and Bible studies, including her newest releases: Winning the Worry Battle: Life Lessons from the Book of Joshua and Bible study called Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle. Barb’s writing has been featured in magazines or blogs such as Simple Truth Magazine, iBelieve.com, Crosswalk.com, More to Life Magazine, Just Between Us Magazine, Cherished, InCourage and Women of Faith.
An avid traveler, reader, and lover of all things chocolate-peanut butter, Barb and her family live in NW Ohio with their dog, Quimby and a very grumpy 10-year rabbit. Visit Barb’s online home at barbroose.com.
It seemed like yesterday when I gave birth to my oldest child. Of course, yesterday was actually 26 years ago. Now, that child is packing up her apartment in preparation for an overseas military deployment later this year. Following close on her heels is my 23-old daughter, who’s planning to sign a lease on her first apartment later this week. My youngest daughter, also known as the one who qualified me for the Empty Nest Club, is settling into her second week of college. Yesterday, she texted me from the coffee shop because she’d spent two hours studying the wrong material for her medical terminology quiz.
From the time that my kids were born until now, I’ve worried about keeping them safe, well fed, happy or secure. When they were newborns, I watched their tiny chests lift up and down to make sure they were breathing. I guarded my babies to keep them from tipping into sharp table corners as they tried to stand and take those wobbly first steps. And once my kids began walking, a multitude of new fears and worries walked into my life…
Once our kids start walking, we spend the rest of our lives gritting our teeth and wringing our hands worrying if our grown up bundles of joy will be okay. Will my son make the right decision about college? What if my daughter loses her job? What if that young woman isn’t good enough for my boy?
Some moms also have to face deeper, darker worries and heart-breaking questions. Like the mom who told me about how much she loved her 30-year old son, but his on-going drinking problem was wrecking his life. Out of guilt for her own mothering mistakes, she’d pay his bills, let him move back in and talked to creditors. However, the years of stress over his problems and the financial burden of bailing him out caused her to lose sleep at night and cry all of the time.
When I meet women at conferences or retreats to sign books, I always ask what they worry about most. At least half of the women say, “I worry about my adult kids.” Many of those women answer with shiny eyes filled with unshed tears. Sweet friend, if that is you today, you aren’t alone.
One of the most well-known verses in the Bible contains the wisdom and advice that all mamas, no matter the age or stage of their children – need to hear. Do me a favor and read this verse aloud so that your mind AND ears can hear the peace and the plan that God wants to give to you:
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:6-7 NLT
These verses are God’s encouragement for you, my friend. Whatever you are worried about today, give it to God. It doesn’t matter if you’re worried about your little ones, big kids, adult children or even children yet to be born, give those worries AND those kids over to God. Be real and honest about what is tearing up your heart, whether it’s a child who won’t do their homework or a son or daughter who never calls to check in. Tell God about it.
Then give thanks. Please don’t forget this part!
In the middle of our fear and worry, gratitude gets pushed aside. Our minds get so focused on what we lack, we forget the love that we’ve given and received. Thank God for the moments that you have spent with your children. Even when life is really hard, nothing is ever all bad. There is healing in gratitude, so don’t deprive yourself of it.
Ultimately, God wants us to give up our worries so that He can give us peace.
Mom, would you rather have worry or peace when your child is going through a tough time? Peace doesn’t come without surrendering your worry. If you want to hold onto all of those negative thoughts and panic, God will let you to do just that. But God has something better waiting for you.
If you’re ready to let God handle all of the worries about your kids, go ahead and tell God about it. If you need words, you can use these:
Dear God, I’m so overwhelmed with worry about my child. You know how much I love them and it’s so hard for me to see them in this situation. Yet, I know that my worries and my fears aren’t doing anything but making me miserable. God, I am so afraid that ___________________________ will happen. I need to surrender that fear to you and trust that You are watching over my child and that I can trust You with his/her life. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
That’s the philosophy of Vicki Fitch, a top-performing leader, international business consultant and direct sales expert. If you’ve ever dreamed of making extra money to support your family through direct sales or multi-level marketing companies that offer great incentives with flexible schedules for your family, then you’ll definitely want to listen to Vicki’s story on today’s Better Together podcast.
Vicki started her first business when she was 12 years old. She purchased her first home at 19 years old and began her first company a year later. As a “serial entrepreneur,” Vicki builds and sells business as a way of life. She’s been in the direct sales business for 20 years, consistently performing at the top 1% of her company, which allowed Vicki and her family to experience dream vacations and bonuses that have enriched their lives.
But, Vicki’s “never give up” philosophy comes from the difficult experiences in her early stages of her life. In today’s conversation, Vicki and I discuss her struggle to feel loved and valued by her parents as well as her volatile first marriage to a drug addict. As Vicki shares her life and her success, you’ll be encouraged by her authenticity and vulnerability when talking about the highs and lows of her life. Vicki and I are tall girls who share a love of high heels and we share a lot of fun moments during today’s conversation. FOR THE FIRST TIME! You have two options: You can watch my interview above or listen to the podcast audio below:
If you are a leader who dreams of achieving big goals, you’re going to absolutely love my conversation with Vicki. In this episode, you’ll learn more about:
“Evict the bully in your head” that undermine your confidence (that’s the title of Vicki’s second book);
Why mentors are important if you want to achieve your highest dreams;
How to identify whether or not you’re an entrepreneur (even if you think that you’re not).
Why Vicki is so passionate about her new global initiative’s #YouAreEnough as well as her #12Books12Months goal of writing 12 books in 12 months – this is a great story!
PLEASE LEAVE COMMENT BELOW ON THE FOLLOWING: Do you have a big dream that you want to share with us? Do you need permission to dream again?
About Vicki Fitch…
Vicki lives in Southern California with her husband, Terry and their two boys. She is blessed to have two amazing stepchildren and five grandchildren that fill Vicki’s heart with great joy. Her business is her ministry and she believes that God has blessed her greatly and she gives back every chance that she can.
Barb Roose is a popular speaker and author who is passionate about equipping women to win at life with Christ-empowered strength and dignity. Barb loves speaking at women’s conference and leadership events such as the Aspire Women’s Events, She Speaks Conference and the UMC Leadership Institute.
Barb is the author of multiple books and Bible studies, including her newest releases: Winning the Worry Battle: Life Lessons from the Book of Joshua and Bible study called Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle. Barb’s writing has been featured in magazines or blogs such as Simple Truth Magazine, iBelieve.com, Crosswalk.com, More to Life Magazine, Just Between Us Magazine, Cherished, InCourage and Women of Faith.
An avid traveler, reader, and lover of all things chocolate-peanut butter, Barb and her family live in NW Ohio with their dog, Quimby and a very grumpy 10-year rabbit. Visit Barb’s online home at barbroose.com.
There’s a reason that you may leave your time on Facebook feeling sad, annoyed, jealous or lonely…
In 2015, Christian women were studied and the result found that many women felt worse about themselves after using social media- whether lonely, envious or angry. Any of these ever go through your mind?
“Why does her life look so perfect?” “Everything on social media is so fake.” “If I had (that job, money, spouse or house) I’d be happy, too.”
Guess what? I’ve said these things at times as well.
Many of you know that this is a difficult time of my life. For me and perhaps some of you, seeing photos of date nights, weddings and, anniversaries are tough. Maybe you struggle with seeing pregnancy announcements or engagement photos. You try not to care, but that little voice inside whispers “It’s not fair” and you shake your head and release a few tears as you agree.
When we see other people getting what we want, it’s tough. But what do we do – other than silently raging, getting depressed, or deleting our Facebook page?
There’s some helpful wisdom that I cling to these days: “Be happy with those who are happy and weep with those who weep.” (Romans 12:15 NLT)
This wisdom is a reminder that we must ride the ups and downs of life together, even when we’re not getting what we want, but others are. When we celebrate with each other and cry with each other, our togetherness is what helps us to heal and handle the hardships of life.
IMPORTANT: Celebrating others doesn’t mean that you go to the baby shower if you’re battling painful feelings of infertility. Or, I declined a bachelorette party a few weeks ago because while I loved my friend, my heart was too tender, but I celebrated big time at her wedding.
Celebrating means that we are grateful for God’s blessing in others’ lives. We can post “Congratulations!” or “Happy for you!” when they share 1000 pictures of the person or thing that we wanted, too – like the new kitchen, new car, great spouse, behaving kids with awards, or weight loss – we can be happy and that gratitude keeps joy, not jealously flowing through our lives.
This is why I ask my friends to not hide their anniversary pictures or date night photos. I can be 1000% happy for them even as I’m sad about my situation. It’s like learning to walk and chew gum at the same time. It’s possible if you want to figure it out.
When we surround our hurting friends and weep with them, we are Jesus’ arms of hope. Weeping needs no words. Our presence – and maybe an iced coffee or pint of ice cream with two spoons is enough. When we weep with our friends, we are reminded that it is pain, not pleasure that draws us together. If you’re hurting today, reach out to a friend that is hurting, too. For the love, don’t try to fix them, give advice or “at least” them. Sit with them. Cry with them. Let them talk it out or not say a word. When you leave you’ll find that your sadness is lessened. Helping someone helps our sadness doesn’t makes sense, but it’s totally true.
In the end, when I celebrate others, I’m reminded that my day to celebrate will come, too. And when I weep with others, I’m reminded to not be so wrapped up in my own stuff.
That wisdom of riding the ups and downs of life with others has been a lifeline for me. I hope that these words encourage you. 💕
LEAVE A COMMENT: When do you feel discouraged by social media? What helps you handle that discouragement?
How do we teach our kids about God when we don’t know all of the answers?
How do we get our kids to participate in family devotions when they don’t want to sit still?!!!
Take a deep breath, Mom and Dad. God knows that you’re doing the best that you can. When it comes to teaching our kids about Jesus, you don’t need to know the answers and there are some fabulous resources to help you out!
Mom or Dad, if you’re reading this today and you’re worried about messing up your kids’ spiritual growth, relax. It’s okay to not have all of the answers. You’ve got permission to say, “I don’t know the answer to that, but let’s keep reading and see what we can learn.”
Sarah wrote the Family Bible Devotional as a faith-building experience to give parents confidence in helping their kids fall in love with Jesus. It includes 52-devotionals BUT there are NO dates because real life rarely sticks to a schedule! Sarah totally understands the up-and-down rhythm parents face. She deals with that in her own family. “We’ll be solid in reading the Bible and doing lessons for a few days and then, a few weeks will go by because life got busy.” Sarah says that they just keep at it.
So friends, listen to Sarah’s encoruagement today if you’ve been feeling discouraged about teaching your kids about God OR if you’re not even sure where to begin.
In this episode, we’ll talk about:
How to set realistic expectations for family devotion time;
Why we feel intimidated talking to our kids about the Bible;
How to engage your kids in family devotions – even if their not sitting still.
SHARE A COMMENT: Do you do family devotions? How do you do them – and how do you keep at it even when your kids aren’t cooperating?
About Sarah M. Wells
Sarah Marie Wells is the author of The Family Bible Devotional: Stories from the Bible to Help Kids and Parents Engage and Love Scripture (Discovery House Publishers, Fall 2018), a novella-length essay, The Valley of Achor, available on Kindle, a collection of poems, Pruning Burning Bushes(Wipf and Stock Publishers, 2012), and a chapbook of poems, Acquiesce, winner of the 2008 Starting Gate Award (Finishing Line Press,2009). Poems and essays by Wells have appeared recently in Ascent, Brevity, Full Grown People, Hippocampus Review, The Pinch, River Teeth,Rock & Sling, Under the Gum Tree, and elsewhere.
Sarah serves as the Director of Content Marketing at Spire Advertising and as Associate Editor for River Teeth: A Journal of Nonfiction Narrative. She resides in Ashland, Ohio with her husband, Brandon, and their three young children, Lydia, Elvis, and Henry.
When we are intentional moms, it assists us in becoming less-stressed moms.
When we bring our babies home from the hospital, our dream is to raise them in a happy and healthy home. But, from the time that we get pregnant or we announce plans to adopt, others begin giving us their opinions about what we should or shouldn’t do. If we’re not careful, other people’s input will confuse us and add a lot of stress to our already busy lives.
Today, I’m continuing my fun and freeing conversation with my friend, Susan Seay. She’s a speaker, author, and homeschool mom to seven – yes, seven kids! Susan is the author of Intentional Motherhood: Parenting on Purpose When Life Gets Busy. If you listened to part one of our interview, the podcast ended with Susan saying that she hit the wall after the birth of her seventh child.
“I became so burdened with my efforts to be a “good mom” and trying to do all the things a “good mom” should do. My list of “should’s” was so long I was ready to give up. In fact, I did give up. I announced it one night at dinner to my husband with a simple “I’m done!” – Susan Seay, speaker and author
During this episode, Susan shares about the crucial conversations that she had with her husband, Ron about their individual expectations of what it meant to be a good mom and a good dad. In Susan’s effort to be a great mom and Ron’s drive to be a great dad, the couple discovered that their unspoken expections actually drove a wedge in their relationship with each other.
As you listen to Susan talk about how they worked through this challenge to their marriage and family, you’ll love her sense of humor and insight. Ultimately, Ron and Susan discovered the key to reshaping their family and unifying them for the future.
What you’ll hear in this episode:
How core values can keep your family focused and help you make decisions with less conflict;
Why Susan always lets her kids let go of a hug first;
How Susan uses technology to stay connected with her kids;
LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW: How do you sort out all of the opinions and information out there about how you should raise your kids?
Through the “Mentor 4 Moms” Podcast and the relatable style found in her book The Intentional Parent: Parenting On Purpose When Life Gets Busy, you get a sense of Susan’s heart to provide encouragement to moms combined with helpful practical tools. As a wife and mom to 7, she truly understands the challenges of trying to be an Intentional Parent. Susan has been a mentor to women locally in Austin, Tx and Internationally for over a decade.
I became so burdened with my efforts to be a “good mom” and trying to do all the things a “good mom” should do. My list of “should’s” was so long I was ready to give up. In fact, I did give up. I announced it one night at dinner with a simple- “I’m done!” -Susan Seay, mother of seven (yes, seven!)
Mom, do you ever “should” all over yourself?
I should do another load of laundry…
I should stay up late and make cookies for my daughter’s class…
I should volunteer to drive carpool, even though I’m working late this week.
Sometimes those “should” feel so heavy and make us feel like we’re buried under unreasonable expectations.
If you’ve ever struggled with the “should,” you’ll love my conversation with my dear friend, Susan Seay. She’s a speaker and author living in Austin, TX. Susan and her husband, Ron are the parents to seven, yes seven kids. Not only that but Susan is a homeschool mom, who also supports and consults with other homeschooling moms on a national level. Susan is the author of Intentional Motherhood: Parenting on Purpose When Life Gets Busy.
Susan and I have been friends online for almost a year, but we met IRL (in real life) in July at the She Speaks Conference, hosted by Proverbs 31 Ministries. Susan actually flew from her home in Texas to help me out with my workshops –that’s a great friend! On top of that, I got to see Susan in action as she provided gentle and loving encouragement to every woman who crossed her path. If you meet Susan, she’s going to make your life better, whether you talk to her for one minute or an hour.
As a speaker and author, Susan’s wheelhouse is that she is a mentor for moms. And as the mother of seven, she’s got some great expertise in that area.
During our Better Together conversation today, Susan talks about a trap that is so easy for moms to fall into – the quest to be the mom that tries to do everything.
Susan and I will discuss:
The crazy questions that people ask when they find out that she has seven kids;
A GENIUS trick that Susan used when her kids lost their minds in the grocery store;
What unreasonable expectations makes moms tired and discouraged;
Stories of encouragement that will put a smile on your face;
Overcoming the trap of perfection.
About Susan Seay…
Through the “Mentor 4 Moms” Podcast and the relatable style found in her book The Intentional Parent: Parenting On Purpose When Life Gets Busy, you get a sense of Susan’s heart to provide encouragement to moms combined with helpful practical tools. As a wife and mom to 7, she truly understands the challenges of trying to be an Intentional Parent. Susan has been a mentor to women locally in Austin, Tx and Internationally for over a decade.
Are you struggling with a worry that you can’t seem to pray away? Sometimes, the roots of our worries are buried so deep into our hearts and minds that we need to give God special permission to dig deep and remove it.
Have you always been worried about money? Do you always worry about the people in your life getting hurt or abandoning you? Are you quick to flip out when uncertainty just won’t get certain fast enough?
Some of our toughest worries are like that stubborn plaque that mere brushing can’t remove. To eliminate those deep down, stuck-on worries, we must be willing to put up with being uncomfortable while God’s expert hand goes to work. Like a dental hygienist’s hook, God uses a secret weapon to scrape and chip away those hard-to-remove roots of worry from our lives.
Warning: This secret weapon is rejected by most Christians in the US because it makes most Christians feel too uncomfortable.
What is this secret weapon? Fasting.
By definition, fasting is to abstain from all or some things of food or drink, especially as a religious observance.
I know that bringing up fasting makes most Christians uncomfortable. If that’s you, I promise that it’s okay. It’s safe for you to be a little squirmy right now. My friend, no one is judging you. Especially not me! I refused to fast for years, but God gently led me toward fasting and I believe that God wants to gently lead you there as well.
Let’s start here – How do you feel about fasting?
Don’t know much about it.
Intimidated or uncomfortable just thinking about it.
Tried it, but not a good experience.
Fasted in the past, but not recently.
Periodic or regular fasting.
For many years, I tried fasting, but it wasn’t a good experience. I like food and it didn’t make sense as to why God would ask me to give it up during a fast. But then the pain of my life exceeded my cares about comfort. I encountered a spiritual battle so fierce and so difficult that I had to give God permission to use this secret weapon in my life. Not just so that I could survive my worry battle, but so that I could thrive in the midst of difficult circumstances.
What Jesus’ teaches us…
In Matthew chapter 4, God’s Spirit led Jesus into the desert to be tempted for 40 days and 40 nights. Think about what it must’ve been like for Jesus in the desert. There, He was fully exposed to harsh weather conditions and no protection from wild animals. He had no friends to call on and no place to lay His head.
Let’s not forget that Jesus didn’t eat for a very long time! Can you imagine going all that time without food? In the early days when I tried to fast, it only took about three or four hours before I wanted to give up and grab a snack. In this case, Jesus fasted for more than a month. If we calculate based on our Western diet, Jesus fasted 120 meals. And we feel like we could die after skipping just one meal!
Then the devil shows up. Note to self: Satan always show up when you’re in the midst of a difficult battle.
Why did God’s Spirit lead Jesus into the desert to be tempted?
It seems harsh that God would allow Jesus to endure spiritual temptation on an empty stomach. But God did this so that we could see how the power of God living within us can help us overcome our human desires, like worry, that can get out of control.
They say that a the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Thankfully Jesus proves that this isn’t the case. When the devil showed up, his first appeal was to Jesus’ hunger: “If you’re the Son of God, tell the stones to become loaves of bread” (Matthew 4:3).
When I read this verse, it’s not hard for me to imagine Satan holding a platter of fresh, hot bread with rich, melted butter slowly rolling down the sides. I can almost taste the yeasty aroma wafting through the air and floating under Jesus’ nose. Did Satan hope that Jesus would rationalize a reason to convert the stones on the ground in the hot, filling meal that would satisfy Jesus’ hunger, but scald his soul?
As a woman who has dealt with emotional eating as away to cope with stress and worry, I find that Jesus’ response in verse 4 ministers to my soul. Here’s what Jesus said: “People do not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.”
Jesus’ response to Satan reveals an essential need in my life: I can’t deal with my worry until I learn how to depend on God. It wasn’t until I fasted that I realized how often I sought comfort and security in other places instead of God.
When we voluntarily abstain from anything in our lives, it doesn’t take long for us to become uncomfortable with its absence as well. We’re upset by the loss of what comforts us and the exposure of that discomfort unsettles us. Richard Foster sums ups it up so well: “More than any other discipline, fasting reveals what controls us.”
When we fast, our thoughts and emotions reveal the rawest parts of us. Friend, when you fast and pray, ugly and very unspiritual thoughts WILL surface. That’s a good thing! This is the place where our most stubborn sin and fear hide away. But, once those places are exposed, God works on clearing them out so that we can experience freedom.
Jesus’ example of fasting isn’t just one that we can read and admire; it points to a pattern of discipleship that should be a part of every believer’s life. In Matthew 6:16, Jesus began his teaching on fasting with the phrase, “When you fast…” If you don’t have a “when” in your life, then perhaps today God’s gentle hand is leading you one step toward beginning that journey.
Do you need to fast?
Sometimes people get confused about whether or not Christians should fast. Jesus teaching on fasting emphasizes what not to do while fasting but it doesn’t discourage fasting itself. Here’s what Jesus says about fasting:
And when you fast, don’t make it obvious, as hypocrites do, for they try to look miserable and disheveled so that people will admire them for fasting. I tell you the truth, that is the only reward they will ever get. But when you fast, comb your hair and wash your face. Then no one will notice that you are fasting, except your Father, who knows what you do in private. And your Father, who sees everything, will reward you. (Matthew 6:16-18)
Jesus teaches that fasting should be the part of every believer’s life. But, Jesus entrusts us to figure out what kind of fasting we need. How you fast is between you and God. There is no perfect way to fast. If you need to start with just one meal, okay. If you need to start with fasting from one tv show, fine. Give yourself compassion if you halt a fast sooner than planned. Just keep praying and letting God’s Spirit move through you and within you – that’s the ultimate goal!
In my life, fasting happens on a weekly basis. I’m not super-spiritual. It’s actually the opposite. I share this just so you know how real and difficult my worry battle has been. I fast weekly because my faith needs it. It’s hard every time, but my fast day is when I trust God to work out my worry. I write about my personal fasting habits in my Joshua Bible study and Winning the Worry Battle book.
Next steps for you…
If you feel like God might be calling you to fast in order to deal with some stubborn worry in your life, here are a few next steps inspired by Campus Crusade Bill Bright’s classic guide on fasting:
Identify WHY you need to fast – Do you need spiritual renewal, guidance, healing, resolution, courage or grace to handle a situation?
Identify TYPE of fast – What do you use to give yourself comfort when you are stressed? Once you identify whether it’s food, social media, Netflix, alcohol, relational distractions, then that’s what you give up.
Identify how LONG – Pray and ask God to give you insight on how long you should fast. If prayer doesn’t provide clarity, then talk to a friend.
Pray – Anytime that you fast, prayer should be a part of the experience. Otherwise, you’re just going hungry, right?! You can use the time that you’d normally eat as time to talk to God or in silence.
LEAVE A COMMENT: How do you feel about fasting? What’s easy or intimidating for you?
I want your love - to be unrestrained - tearing down walls - breaking these chains. -"Unrestrained", Changed Album
If you've ever listened to a contempary Christian radio station anywhere in the world, then you've heard of the Grammy-nominated, Dove Award winning band, Sanctus Real. (Feel free to do the loud crowd cheering here...)
In today's Better Together podcast, I'm talking with Mark Graalman, Sanctus Real's drummer and original band member. A life-long native of Toledo, OH, Mark is also on staff on Vineyard Church. He's married to his beautiful wife, Susan, and they are the parents of three boys.
Mark and I had a great time talking about the early days of Christian music as well as what it was like to start a Christian rock band back when organs reigned supreme and drums weren't totally accepted in traditional churches. He talks about having no idea as a teen guy that he would end up playing in stadiums around the world to groups up to 120,000.
Talk about cool.
Then, Mark talks about coming from a line of "strong and silent" men in his family. However, Mark discusses how his quiet persona covered for a difficult battle with anxiety that he's battled for much of his life. While women struggle with anxiety more often then men, that doesn't mean that there aren't millions of men around the country dealing with "worst-first thinking" as author Lenore Skenazy calls it.
In today's episode, Mark and I discuss:
How Mark managed his anxiety when playing in front of tens of thousands of people in stadiums;
A practical anxiety-fighting tool that Mark shares that folded up and fit in his pocket - you can use this tool, too!
The spoken word poem that Mark wrote for Sanctus Real's new Changed record.
Barb Roose is a popular speaker and author who is passionate about equipping women to win at life with Christ-empowered strength and dignity. Barb loves speaking at women's conference and leadership events such as the Aspire Women's Events, She Speaks Conference and the UMC Leadership Institute.
Barb is the author of multiple books and Bible studies, including her newest releases: Winning the Worry Battle: Life Lessons from the Book of Joshua and Bible study called Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle. Barb's writing has been featured in magazines and blogs such as Simple Truth Magazine, iBelieve.com, Crosswalk.com, More to Life Magazine, Just Between Us Magazine, Cherished, InCourage, and Women of Faith.
An avid traveler, reader, and lover of all things chocolate-peanut butter, Barb and her family live in NW Ohio with their dog, Quimby and a very grumpy 10-year rabbit. Visit Barb's online home at barbroose.com.
Can we find freedom from past hurts or trauma? The answer is YES!
If you know me, you know that I am a HUGE advocate of mental health! Not only have I invested in years of personal counseling, but I attend a recovery group on a regular basis for my own serenity. A decade ago, I struggled with major depression and spending a year in counseling and medication delivered me back to wellness.
The lesson that I’ve learned is that good mental health is a daily investment and when we don’t invest in ourselves, we rob ourselves of the peace and joy that God promises. Don’t rob yourselves, friends. You matter!
My guest on this episode of the Better Together podcast is clinically-trained marriage and family therapist, Stacy Lynn Harp, the host of Bible News Radio.
Stacy Lynn grew up as the middle child between two brothers and to a mother who often expressed her regret over Stacy Lynn’s birth. When Stacy Lynn was seven years old, her mother had an affair with Stacy’s paternal uncle. Eventually, Stacy’s mother left her father, packed up the kids and moved to California with the uncle. For many years, the uncle sexually and physically abused Stacy on a daily basis.”He was sadistic,” recalls Stacy Lynn in another interview.
During our conversation, Stacy Lynn gives a recap of her story and explains the tragic reason behind why her uncle never went to jail, even though Stacy Lynn reported him to the police.
If you’re an adult, but you’ve still got a lot of baggage left over from your childhood, Stacy Lynn shares her journey from sexual abuse survivor to finding freedom from her struggles.
Our conversation today includes:
Why NOT paying for therapy is the most expensive mistake of your life;
What does freedom look like;
How to spot unhealthy people;
Lessons in faith from her soon-to-be-finished book, Pickleball Faith.
Stacy has appeared on the Fox News television show Dayside, as well as numerous radio programs nationally and internationally, discussing issues pertaining to the family, sexuality, social media, Christian persecution and Internet related issues.
Stacy earned a Masters of Science in Clinical Psychology from Vanguard University of Southern California, and is a gifted therapist and coach. Stacy has spoken at various academic and professional conferences concerning internet safety issues and the topic of homosexuality. She has been described as someone who has a firm grasp on the issues and communicates passionately but with humor.
Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do,
but gets you nowhere. –Anonymous
Have you ever found yourself worrying about the bad things that could happen-whether they involve your family, your job, your finances, your health, or your future? Me too!
Have you ever spent a sleepless night worrying about the state of our nation or our world? My friend, you are not alone. If I had a pair of shoes for every time that I worried about something in my life, I’d need 100 closets to hold all of those shoes.
Disclaimer…I do not actually own all of these shoes. But there are a few pairs in that pile that I’ve got my eyes on.
There have been many times in my life when I felt like I was losing the worry battle. I had so many headaches from worrying about my kids, my husband, my marriage, or my career. Oh, the hours I spent pacing the floor at night thinking, rethinking, and overthinking all of the worries in my life. Every question in my mind began with “what if” and ended with some awful worst-case scenario. I tried to control my worries by trying to control everything and everyone in my life. But that never worked!
When Jesus spoke to the crowd, I imagine that he was speaking to people just like me when he said in Matthew 6:27 (NLT), “Can all of your worries add a single moment to your life?”
That is such a powerful truth?!
One study reported that the average person worries 55 minutes per day. That’s one hour per day that you spend day-dreaming or obsession about bad things happening to you or the people that you love. This means that you spend almost an hour each day imagining or obsessing about bad things happening to you or the people that you love. Furthermore, what happens to us when we worry? We get headaches, jittery nerves, upset stomachs, and just so tired. Worry really wears us out!
Since research also tells us that 80% of what you worry about never happens, the reality is this: Your worrying time is likely wasted time. By the time that you’re 50 years old, you’ve spent over 1,000,000 minutes of your life worrying. You don’t have to live this way!
Your life is precious! Are you tired of losing the best and precious minutes of your life stressed out and sleepless from worry?
Here is a list of five healthy and productive things that you can do the next time your mind starts to fixate on “what if” worries:
Replace “what if” with the “God if…”
Your first line of defense against worry is prayer. Now, you don’t have to be a perfect prayer to pray, just a person who is willing and humble enough to pray.
Worry is a sign that we’re trying to solve our problems on our own. Prayer is the symbol that we’re willing to let God help us with our problems. So when you think “what if,” practice saying “God, if…” and fill in your fear. That is the beginning of your prayer, friend. Be honest with God and He wants to hear what you have to say.
Read favorite Bible verses or a devotional.
One of my favorite sayings about our mind is Beware, your mind is a dangerous neighborhood, don’t go there on your own.
If you’re in a bad place mentally, infuse your mind with a healthy voice. Keep a list of healthy Bible verses close by or pull out a devotional and fill your mind with words that will focus you on God.
Make a gratitude list.
Author Ann Voscamp said it best when she said “Gratitude is the birthplace of joy.” We worry because we’re afraid of losing something or someone that we love or care about. So, gratitude list as an essential reminder of how God has taken care of us in the past. Give yourself a goal of writing down 100 blessings on your gratitude list. As you remember how big God is, your worries will shrink way.
Listen to music.
Music will change your mood! I like to listen with my headphones in because they block out other distractions. If you want to really change your mood, sing-along. You can’t sing and worry at the same time! Don’t believe? Try it!
Walk and listen to a Christ-centered or uplifting messages/podcasts.
This was my #1 go-to strategy for the past couple of summers during a very stressful time in my family’s life.
I’m sure that I looked like Forrest Gump walking and walking and walking through our neighborhood, but all of those miles really helped me in a powerful way! The physical act of walking allowed my body to release endorphins to uplift my mood so I physically felt better. Then, Christ-centered YouTube messages and podcasts kept my mind healthy, which is so, so important! By the way, it’s Podcast Week over on my Better Together podcast. Click here to listen to messages that with give you the hope, help, and the practical next steps to get better!
Some final thoughts…
Is there anything on this list that God might be nudging you to try today. It’s so important that you do anything other than nothing! BUT, you don’t have to do everything. This list provides options. You can take what you like and leave the rest.
I am not sure what you are going through right now, but I know that God is standing right next to you. And just know, that I am cheering for you.
SHARE A COMMENT: What are some healthy ways that you deal with anxiety or worry? Share your tips below and allow God to use you to bless someone else!
MORE FROM BARBROOSE.COM
Gather your friends or women at your church for my Joshua Bible study this fall! If you or someone that you know struggles with worry or anxiety, the Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle Bible Study combines powerful Biblical principles and practical tools that work to end those stressed out days and sleepless nights!
BONUS: If you host the study at your church, let me know and I’ll provide a personalized invite video that you can use on Facebook or send via Youtube. Email barb@barbroose.com to request the video.
Barb Roose is a speaker and author who is passionate about teaching women to live beautifully strong and courageous so that they experience God’s great adventure of faith and purpose for their lives.
Check out Barb’s new releases, Stronger Than Stress: 10 Spiritual Practices to Win the Battle of Overwhelm book and Stronger Than Stress: 10 Spiritual Practices to Win the Battle of Overwhelms Bible study.
Barb lives in NW Ohio and is proud mother of three adult kids. Whenever possible, Barb prefers to eat dessert first. Visit Barb’s online home at barbroose.com.
