by Barb Roose | Feb 8, 2015 | Christian Living/Discipleship
By Tina Bryant
photo credit: Pinterest
Once upon a time there was a man named Jesus. Jesus is a young handsome prince who saved me from many bad, unhealthy relationships. Seven years later he still romances me. We lived happily ever after. The End….
I wish it was that easy.
Seven years ago, I got out of a really bad relationship. It was filled with lies and threats of violence. He told me that “no one would ever want me.” And, I believed him.
After that bad relationship ended, I decided to go back to church.
I wasn’t committed and only showed up on and off. One day, I received a book from a co-worker called Choosing God’s Best by Dr. Don Raunikar. I put it into the dresser drawer thinking: “Why would I want to be God’s choice after all of the things I have done?”
A few weeks later I saw the book again and decided to read it. I couldn’t put it down! My eyes opened to a whole new level of relationships and a style of dating new to me called courting. You see, I always was the pursuer because I was tired of waiting. I always wanted to land the man NOW! Yet, courting means that the man who pursues the woman that he wants to married. Not the other way around. That was revolutionary for me! And since my way of doing things ended badly, I decided to wait to be pursued.
I became more active at the Creek and during that time, I also started to hang out with an old friend. Our friendship grew and I thought “he must be it”. We did everything according to what the Bible told us. But God whispered to me, “It’s not him, I have someone else for you.”
I didn’t agree.
“God, he is EVERYTHING I have always wanted…”
Luckily, God is so patient with me.
“My child, be patient. You have so much to learn.”
I was frustrated. Looking back, I sounded like a 2-year throwing a tantrum because I didn’t get my chocolate chip cookie.
God reminded me of Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
An avid photographer, Tina loves spending time behind her camera. The top two photos are from her Facebook page. Here is Tina on her cruise in 2013. Of course, she just got back from a cruise last week, too.
Last year, I felt God was preparing me for my future husband…
But, before I could have a healthy relationship with my future husband, I need to have a healthy relationship with God. I needed to de-clutter up my schedule so I can spend time with God and sometime praying for my future husband. God reminded that I don’t need to be “busy” all the time just because there is no one at home waiting for me.
As humans, we long for touches, smells, words to confirm that someone loves us. My “love language” is gifts. I don’t expect gifts, but I see how God uses people to show me his love to me. Gifts like a random picture from my nephews or a flower from a friend touch me as well as a random text or a beautiful sunrise. Each of these precious gifts are from God and a reminder that He loves me.
Every so often, my 7-year old nephew asks why I’m not married yet…
He wants to know when he gets to be in my wedding. I love his innocence in these conversations! I always tell him, “When God is done with my future husband.” I love that my nephew wants me to meet and marry, too!
Just the other day, he asked me out of the blue, “Aunt Tina, when is a God done with your husband?” After hearing this, I sensed God saying to me, “That it’s not him I am waiting for, it’s you.” I knew there were some other things that God wanted to work on in my life.
God brought my ex back into my life a few months ago.
I asked God why he would do that after seven years.
“You haven’t forgiven him nor have you forgiven yourself.”
WOW! That is so true! I had been holding on all that resentment all these years. I resented the person I was then and I was ashamed of my weakness back then. Yet, over the past 7 years, God has taught me so much. I’ve learned that I need God in my life and that I need to trust in Him no matter what.
Not everyone is made to be married, and I am okay with that if that is God’s will.
Today, when someone asks me why I am not married, I can say with confidence that God has me on a mission right now during my singleness and when He is ready for me and my future husband to be together we can continue our mission that He wants us to carry through our marriage!
My prayer for you is to trust in God. He knows our hearts’ desire and He knows what’s best for us. Turn your life, your heart and your future marriage over to Him.
Photo credit: Versifylife.com
Tina Bryant is a Central Support Specialist at CedarCreek Church in Perrysburg, Ohio. She works in the Spiritual Formation department and is the multi-campus coordinator of Celebrate Recovery, a Christ-Centered step program that meets on Friday nights at 7pm at all CedarCreek Campuses. You can find out more information about Celebrate Recovery at cedarcreek.tv/celebraterecovery.
by Barb Roose | Dec 31, 2014 | Christian Living/Discipleship
2014…Well, that went fast! It’s amazing how quickly 365 days pass by – especially the good days. Oh, how I wished some of those good days could have lasted a little longer. And the bad days…well, the bad days couldn’t end soon enough.
While I post a lot of positive things on social media about what’s happening in my life, my family or at our church, you’re all smart enough to know that even my sunny flower garden of life has a smelly pile of dog crap dumped in the corner.
Like you, my 2014 doled out it’s fair share of struggles with the kids, tough moments in our marriage, things that broke and cost a lot of money to fix – and so, so much more. There were moments when I thought life couldn’t get any better alternating with moments when I just wanted to crawl in bed and never get out. That’s just life, right?
“Edward Scraperhands” in February 2014
Now it’s December 31. Aaannnnd I’m still singing the song “Let It Go” from watching the movie for the first time on Christmas Eve. My husband rented the movie because we both secretly wanted to see it, but we were too cool to admit it to each other. How come no one told me that this was an animated movie disguised as a film for adults?
Photo credit: deviantart.com
If you’re hating me because you’re singing the song now, you’ll thank me later. “Let It Go” is a great song for leaving one year and heading into the next.
Can I admit that I teared up while listening to the song? Goodness, yes I did.
As we leave 2014, there are three lines from the song that resonated with me. I’d like to share those three lines and a few questions that you may consider as you reflect on how you lived over the past year:
1. “Here I stand, here I’ll stay…”
I love how Elsa stamped her little animated foot as she built her ice castle, causing the snowflake to form as a symbol of who she was. Once Elsa decided it was time to stop running, she didn’t waver or falter. She stomped her foot and stood her ground.
What about you? Did you live by your convictions in 2014 OR did you struggle to know what to believe or say when issues of racism, homosexuality or immigration took over our news feeds and Facebook threads?
In 2015, where do you need to respectfully stand up more for what you believe and not be intimated or hushed by opposing viewpoints?
In April, apparently I grew a moustache.
2. “I don’t care what they may say…”
If you watched the movie, you saw how Elsa became a prisoner to her fear of what would happen if people knew who she really was. So, she hid behind closed doors, shutting everyone – including her sister – out.
How much of 2014 did you live based on what others thought of you? How did it feel every time that you didn’t get a chance to say or think what was really on your mind? How can you live differently in 2015?
As long as we live according to other’s opinions of what we should think, say or feel, we will be miserable because we will not be living authentically. Ask yourself this: Who has God created me to be? What has God called me to do? How has God called me to live?
As we head into 2015, I hope you take the time to figure out the answers to those questions. Then, you tell everyone else with an opinion to shut-up. (Okay, I wanted to be dramatic. Don’t use “shut up” – it’s not a nice word and Jesus wouldn’t use it. At least I don’t think that he would.)
A few weeks ago, I went to Nashville to meet my publishers and I received a copy of my book. One of the best moments of the year
3. “The past is in the past…”
We’re all dragging around old records of life events in metaphorical suitcases shackled to our ankles. The number of those suitcases vary per person. Yet, I suspect that those of you carrying a full five-piece set know that you’re being crushed under the weight of your past.
Are you being held hostage by painful memories or emotionally controlled by memories of the past?
While it’s not possible to erase the memories, you don’t have to suffer when you do remember. Holding onto every single memory of what was done to you doesn’t make you a survivor. Holding onto your need to know “why” something happened won’t make the real pain go away. Hostages are trapped with no means of escape. You aren’t a helpless hostage. God wants you to be free. Surrendering your grip of the pain, anger or worry and giving it up is what frees you!
Here’s some practical tips if you need a place to start moving away from the past:
1. You’ve got let it OUT before you can let it GO… Most of our bad memories stay trapped in our imagination on a continuous replay reel. It’s time to stop replaying the movie and acknowledge each event. Start with make a list of the past memories/incidents/people that cause you to feel pain, fear, guilt or anger. Be specific.
2. Sit down with someone that you trust and share those memories with him or her. There’s a wonderful scriptural principle (James 5:16) that tells us that when we talk about our struggles, that puts us on the path to healing. This is why counseling and recovery groups exist. You cannot let go of the painful past on your own!
3. You may need a recovery group like Celebrate Recovery or professional counseling…If you’ve got a lifetime of abuse and pain, your struggle may be more than a good friend can or should handle. Yes, it’s tough asking someone for help and sometimes, it’s expensive. But, the price you’ve paid for holding onto that baggage has been even higher.
4. Invite God into the new space…Holding onto the past occupies a lot of space in our lives. Letting go of baggage can oddly leave us feeling empty because we’re so used to that space being filled by pain, anger or fear. This is the place where you can invite God to fill. If you’re already a Christian, that’s great! Now God has more room to work in your life. If you aren’t a believer, then consider trusting God with your life and letting Him show you what a life of purpose and freedom looks like.
This year was the year one of my my life-long dreams came true…
My prayer for all of you is that 2015 is the year that you live fully, freely and faithfully. Let go of any past that is dragging you down and let go of the fears that keep you from living as God has called you to live.
Thank you for letting me be a part of your social media life this year. I’ve been honored by every person who has clicked the link to my blog. I pray that you’ve been blessed by what you’ve read. My words mean nothing if you aren’t encouraged, inspired or blessed.
Happy New Year!
Barb
By the way, my new book, Enough Already: Winning Your Ugly Struggle with Beauty is available NOW wherever books are sold!
CLICK HERE for link to Amazon Kindle
CLICK HERE for link to Barnes & Noble
by Barb Roose | Nov 10, 2014 | Christian Living/Discipleship
How do you feel when other people celebrate the good things happening in their lives?
Do you celebrate wholeheartedly with them or are you a teensy-bit envious because their lives always seem sunny-side up?
Yesterday, I went to see the movie “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day” with my daughter, Sami. We weren’t planning to go. In fact, we made the decision to go to the movie at 11:23am. The movie started at 11:50am. Out of consideration for the folks in the theater, I managed a quick shower before we dashed out the door and hustled to the theater.
Movie day! Cheap tickets and buttery soft pretzels. Good times with my girl 🙂
Even though we had to park at least a quarter mile from the building because we forgot that it was SATURDAY AT FRANKLIN PARK MALL and people were EVERYWHERE, we got into our seats just as the movie began. God bless those endless movie previews.
The storyline is simple. Twelve-year old Alexander Cooper thinks his life is awful and he feels that his parents and siblings enjoy wonderful, trouble-free living. At the beginning of the movie, Alexander struts across the lawn toward the girl of his dreams, but trips over a lawn sprinkler and falls on his face. Moments later, the popular kid at school snaps Alexander’s photo and attaches his head atop a lingerie model – and then, texts the photo to the entire school. The rest of Alexander’s day is filled numerous woe-is-me moments that made us all feel bad for the kid.
Photo credit: IMDB
After his family goes to bed, Alexander sits in front of a homemade ice-cream birthday sundae at midnight on his 12th birthday. He blows out the birthday candle, wishing that his family would experience the same kind of terrible luck that frequents his life.
His wish comes true.
The fun of the movie is watching over-the-top, cringe-worthy mayhem that results from young Alexander’s wish. His unemployed dad, played by Steve Carrell, finally gets a job interview, then bombs it. Alexander’s mom, played by Jennifer Garner, works for a publishing company and launches a children’s book. The book instructs children to jump all over the place. Except there was a very unfortunate typo and the “j” was replaced by the “d.” So, she was having a very bad day, too. (Since I’m proofing my book right now, I broke out in a sweat during that scene).
Alexander watches as his parents, brother and sister experience horrible, terrible failures. We see that as much as Alexander wanted his family to understand how he felt, he hated seeing them actually experience those moments.
And that’s when I got to thinking…
There was a phase in my life – some of you have heard me refer to them as my “Dark Years.” During this time in life, NOTHING ever seemed to go right. #fail felt like the perfect description for my life.
During these years, I struggled to watch good things happening in other people’s lives. This was a time before social media or else I would have had to delete my Facebook page. I couldn’t have handled happy vacation photos, new house photos or someone celebrating anything good happening because envy would scream over their good news.
I felt entrenched in an endless series of terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days that I resented other’s good news. I wanted to be happy for them. Yet, my thoughts and emotional bandwidth was consumed by my disappointment with life. My head was filled with phrases like:
“I wish…”
“Why doesn’t…”
“When will I…”
I have so many journals containing those phrases for several years. “Joy” seemed like a word that only went to people who weren’t named Barb and didn’t live in my skin. I kept waiting for that magic moment for things to turn around AND ONLY THEN, I would be happy. Whatever that thing was didn’t happen and so I continued to fight through disappointment each day.
What changed? In a word: GRATITUDE.
I realized the importance of having gratitude for what I still had. I woke up to the realization that I had to stop meditating on what I didn’t have. When we “meditate” on something, we think about it over and over and over and over – you get the drift. When we meditate on unhealthy thoughts, those joy-destroying thoughts become fixed in our mind, continuously spinning like a hamster on a wheel. Those thoughts spin and spin until we have the discipline to stop them.
Meditating on the wrong things puts you in the wrong place. You’ll end up in the wrong place emotional, spiritually and relationally.
(And, while writing this blog, I am convicted of a few things that I need to stop meditating on. I HATE it when that happens – ha!)
Photo credit: Pinterest Ann Voscamp
In 2011, I read Ann Voscamp’s One Thousand Gifts. Many of you have read it and loved it. In the book, Ann challenges her readers to list 1000 moments that they are thankful for. It’s been three years since I’ve read the book and I’ve only listed 600. It’s not like I haven’t had thousands of moments to be thankful for, but I’m not always intentionally about acknowledging those moments.
Truth is, we are not mindful of all that God has blessed us with. We know this is true because way too much of the time we’re unhappy. Including me.
Too often, I blow right by my blessings and mediate on the bad stuff. It’s so easy to remember the bad stuff, isn’t it?
Gratitude changes and transforms our hearts. You cannot practice heart-felt gratitude and not have a heart filled with joy.
If you are in the midst of a continuous string of terrible, horrible, no good days, I challenge you to grab a notebook or open a note on your phone and keep track of all of the good moments in each day. In fact, I double-dare you. Warning: THIS IS HARDER THAN YOU THINK! You’ll have to discipline yourself to recognize those thankful moments and record them. This is how we become mindful of all that God has done for us.
So, if you are doing the November Thankful Challenge, keep going with that. But, for those who are struggling with feeling trapped in terrible, horrible, no good days, you absolutely need to get connected with gratitude. In fact, you can start here 🙂
How quickly can you list 10 moments that you are thankful for TODAY? I’ll be giving one Kindle or Nook digital gift copy of Ann Voscamp’s book, One Thousand Gifts, to one person who leaves a comment on this blog. I’ll pick a winner on Wednesday. (It has to be a digital gift because I want to make sure that you get it quickly.)
If you think this post might encourage someone, feel free to share! In fact, that would be awesome!
by Barb Roose | Nov 7, 2014 | Christian Living/Discipleship
I struggle with patience. Not as much as I used to, but it stays on the top five of things I need to work on. So, I totally related to a hysterical video that I saw at the Catalyst Conference in Atlanta last month. It’s called the “Marshmallow Experiment” on YouTube and has over two million hits. You can watch it below.
This video features school-aged kids who were given a marshmallow and told that if they waited patiently and didn’t eat the one marshmallow, they would receive another when the adult came back into the room. Sounds easy? Not so much.
As soon as the adult left the room, the great struggle began. It wasn’t long before kids abandoned their sedate, calm postures and got all handsy. I giggled while watching these school-aged kids sniff, roll, poke or lick those cylinders of sugary goodness. They kept a guilty eye on the door because of fear of getting caught. But fear didn’t stop a few of those kids from giving up the wait and shoving those fluffy puffs into their mouths.
After watching the video, I wondered what would happen if I switched places with those kids. Marshmallows wouldn’t thrill me, but brownies would. What would happen if I was placed in front of a dozen chocolate peanut butter brownies with chocolate ganache topping and told not to eat them for 60 minutes? What if those brownies looked like this:
Oh My! Photo from sixsistersstuff.com
Could I sit in front that tray for 60 minutes and not touch, sniff or poke them? I think so. (But, if you and I ever sit in front to a platter of brownies together, you should know that I probably licked the tops of them before you sat down. #dibs)
While I would not eat the brownies, I’d spend those 60 minutes feeling the pressure that the intense wanting applied to my waiting. I would bareknuckle my waiting until I came up with a guilt-free, Holy-Spirit approved way to eat a few of those brownies before the clock expired. And if I wasn’t able to think of anything, I would blow on those brownies until a few cocoa-laced crumbs accidently fell off.
When Our Wanting Pressures Our Waiting
Remember the old saying “Good things come to those who wait”? I hate that quote, mainly because if I know something good is waiting for me, then I want it now. I don’t want to have to wait for it. At times, patience feels like a head game. It can be confusing. There are so many things that we want, but we’re often confused about how we are to wait for them.
- Wives who long for husbands or children to go to church or get saved, yet guilt or blackmail their family members to attend each week.
- Christian single women waiting for a husband, but dating men who don’t share their faith.
- Wives angling for a certain type of house or neighborhood because of desire to be seen a certain way RIGHT NOW, even though it creates financial or lifestyle tension.
- Women who desperately want more kids but whose husbands or bodies won’t cooperate.
Just so you know, I’ve been guilty of a few of these. Not proud of admitting that. Just keeping it real.
“Hope Deferred Makes the Heart Sick…”*
We all know what it feels like to wait month after month for something to happen, but that something doesn’t happen. He isn’t asking you out…The house isn’t selling…You’ve been unemployed for months. Disappointment can chip away at our joy and our hope.
If we are not careful, our unfulfilled waiting desires will open like a giant sinkhole in our lives and suck the joy out of everything else. Has your waiting started to drain your joy?
In the Old Testament, there was a man named Abram (later changed to Abraham). He was married to a woman named Sarai (later changed to Sarah). God promised Abram that he would be the ancestor of many, many generations of people. Yet, Abram and Sarai had no biological children.
We often talk about this story from Abram’s perspective, but I like to think about Sarai. I think about Sarai and her waiting. She knew that God told her husband that they would have children. Yet, nothing happened. And Sarai struggled.
During that time, it wasn’t uncommon for a concubine (voluntary slave) to bear children for a barren wife.** A woman named Hagar was Sarai’s concubine. So, Sarai sent Hagar to Abram to get pregnant and bear a child, even though God told them otherwise. It seems that Sarai wanted to help God out, right? I can almost hear her thoughts, “Nothing is happening. I can’t get pregnant. God must have forgotten about me. I have to do something.” (I’ve shared those same thoughts.) So, Sarai gets busy and gets handsy. She sends Hagar to Abram. He literally gets handsy and in time, Hagar gives birth to a son.
Enter Hot Mess and A Crazy
After the baby was born, Sarai acts ugly to Hagar. All of Sarai’s unfulfilled waiting and wanting unleashed at Hagar and her son. Years of months of non-pregnant anguish poured out on a second-class woman, who was a pawn in this sad story. As I reflect on Sarai, perhaps some her bitterness also arises from the regret of trying to force God’s hand before His timing.
What do we learn from this part of Sarai’s life: There is never any peace or joy in trying to force God’s hand. Furthermore, we cannot wait in bitterness and disappointment and expect to develop patience.
Let’s turn our attention to the etymological ancestor of the word patience. It’s a word that we don’t use much anymore: LONG-SUFFERING. This following definition of this word blows me away every time I read it. Here it is:
Long-suffering is the ability to endure what God allows without complaint.***
Long-suffering highlights the idea that waiting is the necessary ingredient in shaping our character and faith. God uses waiting to re-tool, re-shape and renew our character and faith. When we wait in a way that God desires, this means that we lean into our waiting situation and manage the intensity of our want and avoid the temptation to whine. Long-suffering (aka patience) is all about HOW we wait.
This means that we…
…Endure without complaint a family that hates our faith.
…Endure without complaint our difficult current reality.
…Endure without complaint our dreams that aren’t coming true.
…Endure without complaint children who go astray.
…Endure without complaint a marriage that is more struggle than blessing.
…Endure without complaint an illness that overwhelms our wellness.
How does this feel to you? I know it’s hard. It’s hard for me, too. But, learning to endure without complaint is what produces the ability to endure trials, something we all deeply desire. Long-suffering gives back to us in so many ways! It is an anchor to our faith and a catalyst for our character.
Here’s what I’m learning these days about what God wants to do in me through developing Long-suffering:
As I learn to endure, Long-suffering whispers God’s promises to me daily. Pursuing God’s best puts my wanting into perspective.
As I learn to endure, Long-suffering reminds me of the big picture of God’s plan for my life and that diminishes my whining.
As I learn to endure, Long-suffering illuminates God’s strength within me. It gives me the conviction to look into another woman’s eyes and tell her “You’re going to make it.”
As I learn endure, Long-suffering fuels the smile on my face and the joy in my heart during stormy days because I know that God’s got my back and I won’t fall down.
Now, what’s YOUR call-to-action? Do you need to change HOW you are waiting instead of focusing on WHAT you are waiting for? Where do you need to embrace long-suffering in your life?
I’d love to hear your comments. If you think this post might encourage someone else, please share it with them!
References: If you would like more information about the background of a few concepts discussed above, you can click on these links. Still got questions? Send me an email at barbr@cedarcreek.tv
* – Proverbs 13:12
** – http://www.gotquestions.org/concubine-concubines.html
*** – http://biblehub.com/commentaries/galatians/5-22.htm
by Barb Roose | Mar 21, 2014 | Christian Living/Discipleship, Uncategorized
Bad news always feels like a punch in the gut, right?
This morning, I logged onto Facebook and saw that a young mother had lost her 2 1/2 year old little girl last night. This sweet baby suffered from a congenital disease and while her family knew that the precious one’s life would be short, nonetheless, the news came as a shock. By now, hundreds of people have posted their sympathies on her wall, including me.
Earlier this week, our senior pastor and my boss announced that he has Parkinson’s Disease. Many of you read Lee’s eblast on Wednesday night to the church. I’m not sure about you, but all kinds of emotions charged through my body. Shock. Sadness. Shock. These are sensations that we’ve experienced in our own lives as well as felt them for others.
One of the hardest facts of our human existence is that we cannot take away another’s pain. We want to. But, we can’t. And frankly, that sucks.
So, what do we do when tragedy or crisis strikes those that we care about?
What I’m about to say isn’t rocket-science, in fact it’s pretty simple. It might even be so simple that some of you might be offended because this advice seems too trite. Maybe, but sometimes, less really is more.
When it comes to talking to friends and acquaintances going through tough times, follow the “KISS” rule – keep it simple – by sticking with these three phrases:
1. “I’m sorry that you have to go through this.” STOP. This sentence is the exact right length to let someone know that you empathize with what he or she is going through.
Believe it or not, “I’m so sorry” is self-explanatory. It’s your expression of concern that the other person will value, not the amount of words that you use.
If the person wants to talk, they’ll keep talking – but let them make the call. If you feel that you want to say more, one great suggestion is to send a card. Cards are great way to express how you feel, yet give the person in need time to truly absorb your heartfelt sentiment.
2. “Is there anything I can do to help?” STOP. The best thing about humanity is our drive to rally in when tragedy strikes. It’s the part of us that digs deep to bring dishes to wakes, contribute to funds for fallen firefighters or provide resources to families whose loved ones are in a missing plane somewhere on our planet. However, bombarding the person in need with help can make them feel less in control than they already do. Yes, I know you’ve got great intentions! But, there is a time and place for everything.
The most respectful thing that we can do is let the person ask for help. (This is different if the one in need is a young child or an immediate family member, then the conversation is somewhat different.) Here, I’m talking about friends or acquaintances that have suffered a crisis or tragic situation.
Yes, there are people who struggle to ask for help, but most people will reach out. If you see a glaring need that must be addressed, offer specific suggestions like, “Can I make dinner for your family and drop it off next week?” or “Can I pick you up for your doctor’s appointment tomorrow?” If the person in need declines, accept it. Please don’t be offended and don’t badger them into saying “yes” to something he or she doesn’t want to accept in the moment. They may call later on after reflecting on your offer.
3. I’m praying for you. STOP. Prayer is powerful. Too often, we underestimate the amazing strength that comes from petitioning God on behalf of someone in need. Now, if you tell someone you will pray for them, they will be counting on your prayers! My tip: As soon as I say that I will pray for someone, I pray for them as soon as possible. Why? Because I’m likely to forget!
Here’s the thing about prayer…sometimes, God allows difficult or tragic circumstances to drive us to pray. Notice I didn’t say that God causes bad things to happen. In our fallen world, bad things do happen to good people. Yet, God can use hard things in life to help us – and strengthen our faiths. So, our prayers aren’t just for the person in need, but prayer strengthens our faith as well.
One tip…if someone you know is dealing with a long-term illness or difficult situation, send them a card every few weeks to let them know you are still praying for them. I know that God will use those cards and have them arrive at the times that person will need some extra encouragement.
Conclusion…
When we run into someone who is going through a hard time, don’t worry about being eloquent or a super-fixers, just keep it simple. Stick to those three statements and you’re concern and love for them will shine through.
TALK BACK TIME! What did you think of this post? Too simple? If you disagree, then what should people say when others experience difficult times in life?
By the way, if this post was helpful, please share it with others.
by Barb Roose | Jul 30, 2013 | Christian Living/Discipleship
Our trip home from North Carolina was only supposed to take nine hours, expect it actually took 12 hours for my friend, Bobbie and I to get home. We were traveling in the wrong direction not once during our trip, but twice.
The first clue that we might be traveling in the wrong direction happened when we passed a Tanger Outlet Mall about two hours into our trip. Normally, seeing a Tanger Outlet Mall is cause for celebration. Except, that we realized that we hadn’t see that mall on our way down two days earlier.
So, I picked up my cell phone and discovered that while I had programmed our final destination into Google maps, I never did one important thing – I never pressed “START.”
When you’re lost and you don’t know it, it’s actually not that bad. After all, you don’t know that you’re lost. So, we were have a great time! Our cruise control was set at 76 mph and we chatted and laughed like teen girls about the highlights of our trip (more on that later this week!) and we listened to Dr. Brene Brown’s TedX podcasts (incredible!).
Noticing the outlet mall interrupted our reverie. All of the sudden, I sensed something wasn’t right. For the first time since we’d left two hours before, I picked up my phone and turned it over. There was a sick feeling in my stomach and all of the joy we had been experiencing until that point evaporated into a pile of bummer. Oh no!
We’d been driving 76 mph in the wrong direction for about previous 45 minutes. Not only had I made a mistake, but it was going to take twice the time to fix my stupid mistake. As they say, wasted time is a wasted of time.
Here’s quote from Andy Stanley. He’s smart dude, who knows stuff that I’ll never figure out: “Direction, not intention determines destination.”
My friend, Bobbie and I had every intention of getting back home to Ohio, yet our intentions meant nothing because our car was traveling in the wrong direction. In order to get home, our intention didn’t matter. We had to change our direction.
Now, back to you. Think about road trips as a metaphor for our lives. There are a lot of “destinations” that we have in life:
- We want to have fulfilling relationships…
- We want to be financially secure…
- We want to have peace or a life free from strife…
- We want to get to heaven…
Which “destination” are you trying to get to? How is your journey going? Do you feel like you are moving closer to the destination (not perfection!)?
If not, what do you need to do differently? Do you have intentions that are getting in the way of an actual re-direction? CLUE: If you are using the phrase “I’m trying to change,” you might consider dropping it. Like Star Wars’ Yoda says: “Do. Or do not. There is no try .'”
Now, I also have to confess that once Bobbie and I get ourselves back on track, we ended up getting off doing to wrong direction AGAIN a few hours later. (Feel free to make jokes about women drivers – I deserve it.) This time, we got distracted by talking. We really wanted to get home to see our families, but momentary distraction threw us off track again. Sheesh…
There are some important journeys that we all make in this life. We have relationships, careers, financial lives and spiritual journeys that must be intentionally navigated. We’ve got to keep our eyes on where we are actually going and we can’t get distracted. Afterall, isn’t the destination worth it? We want to experience the reality of healthy and nourishing relationships, financial security, tranquil living or eternal life – right? But, you won’t stumble on these by accident and getting distracted will sabotage your efforts every single time. So, here is a scriptural reminder of the high-stakes journeys that we are taking in this life:
There is a path before each person that seems right,
but it ends in death. -Proverbs 16:25 (New Living Translation)
But, it doesn’t have to be that way. The wise person knows how to find and walk the right path. If you are a person of faith, remember how many God-Positioning Scriptures that you have available to lead and guide you to the destinations of forgiveness, relational wellness, purpose, eternal life and so much more.
My favorite GPS (God-Positioning Scripture) is:
Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. –Matthew 6:33 (New Living Translation)
Do you have a favorite GPS or God-Positioning Scripture? If so, share it on my Facebook page or in the comments section in order to encourage others. You might just be able to share a verse that someone else can use.
If we are not careful, our unfulfilled waiting desires will open like a giant sinkhole in our lives and suck the joy out of everything else. Has your waiting started to drain your joy?
