by Barb Roose | Apr 24, 2015 | Christian Living/Discipleship, Women's Topics
Ladies, if you are at our 2015 Fabulous Conference, I hope that you are having a great time! It’s been a pleasure and honor to serve alongside my co-leader, Lauren Miller for the past five years. Thank you for being a part of something that I will remember for the rest of my life.
The following are contains the outline and some of the notes that accompany my afternoon talk called, “The Fabulous Life.” For those who want to listen and enjoy (without the pressure of taking notes), you can follow along on this page. If you didn’t attend the Fabulous Conference, I hope that these notes can be a blessing to you, no matter where you are at in life these days.
This was the opening speech at the beginning of my talk by President Theodore Roosevelt in 1910.
The first time that I heard this quote was from 2012 & 2013 Fabulous Conference special guest, Shauna Niequist. Her good friend, Dr. Brene Brown had written a book titled Daring Greatly, a book about authenticity, vulnerability and making the choice to live wholeheartedly, no matter the obstacles in our way.
There will always be a critic. You will always have critics.
Who are your critics? How are the critics stopping you from living life to it’s fullest?
You have a story.
You have passion.
You have hopes & dreams.
You have a God-Given purpose.
Speaking of God, he is the reason why the critics don’t count. And there are four reasons why:
First, God loves you more than you could ever know.
Second, there is more to God then what you understand.
Third, God has put more in you.
Lastly, God wants more for you.
You were made to live.
You were made to thrive
You were made to love.
YOU WERE MADE TO BE FABULOUS!
What would it look like to live the Fabulous life? This morning I talked about how we live joyfully, purposely, and generously.
1. A life that is FOCUSED
It doesn’t matter if you are single, married, single again. It doesn’t matter if you have kids or not, there are a lot of things that you think and care about on a daily basis. Generally, guys can think about a lot of things, but they usually think about them one at a time.
However, I believe that women have what I like to call a “one room heart.” This means that everything that we think and care about flow into each other without boundaries and sometimes all at once.
Living the fabulous and beautiful life, requires focus. What is focus: It’s when we live knowing what we are doing and why we are here.
Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. – Matthew 6:33
This verse calls us to start with God. When you think about what your plans are or you think about what your purposes, start with God.
“I try to avoid looking backward or forward and try to keep looking upward.”
Author, Charlotte Brontë
A life that is CONNECTED
Who are your “go-to” girls? – if you are going to show up and if you are going to go for “it”, you need cheerleaders who are wise and for you.
A life that is BROKEN & BEAUTIFUL
Kintsukuroi – I wanted to find a picture that described the beautiful life, the Fabulous life.
from Pinterest
Pottery comes in all shapes and sizes. Pottery comes with different purposes.
Yet every piece of pottery is formed from a single piece of clay that is shaped and formed and molded.
There is nothing like a beautiful piece of flawless pottery. When it is glazed and fired and the surface gleams brightly.
But, what happens to a piece of pottery when it breaks? When something breaks, our first impulse is to discard it. When something like pottery is broken, we don’t think that it has any additional usefulness.
In Japan, Kinsukuroi is a form of pottery that was created when individuals begin taking their broken pottery to an artisan in who would put the pieces back together using a special ingredient: gold
The name of the pottery means ‘beautiful for being broken.’
You look at the cracks and see what you did and God wants you to look at the cracks to see what he’s done.
God owns it. He owns the spaces where you think you’re broken.
There will never be a time when gold won’t be valuable.
-2 Corinthians 5:4
We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.
Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.
Remember…
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE GOD MADE YOU.
God bless you, friends!
by Barb Roose | Apr 20, 2015 | Women's Topics
We’re friends, right?
And even if you aren’t friends with me on social media or I haven’t been to your house to eat up your ice cream, you should know this about me: I really care about you.
I want you to wake up every morning and smile at yourself in the mirror – even with wicked bedhead and fuzzy teeth.
I want you to fling open your closet doors and slide into tops, bottoms, shoes or accessories that look like your “best you.”
Yet, there’s one thing that’s keeping you back. And, it’s the thing that I’m about to share with you.
My sweet, beautiful friend – lean in closely and read carefully:
GET RID OF THE CLOTHES THAT NO LONGER FIT YOU!
Sorry about the all caps action, but I wanted to make sure that you heard me. I feel bad – I know I just yelled at you. Why? Because I wanted to shout out what you’ve been thinking every time you put on those faded Mom-jeans, shapeless t-shirt or too-small top that won’t stretch anymore. I know you hate getting dressed in the morning because you don’t like what you see in the mirror. In this post, I want to shine some hope into your hearts. So, first let me remind you of an important truth that you might have forgotten:
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.
(You know that I just saw you roll your eyes.). I know that many are discouraged by society’s obsession with perfection. But, the truth is that you are beautiful because God created you. Yet, I know that the images and messages around you have obscured that truth and you may not see it as clearly as you did at another time in life.
Beauty is a topic worth our attention. Too many women underestimate the impact of what we see in the mirror. Just get over yourself. Yes, that’s what we say to ourselves in the mirror. Oh, it’s not that important. That’s what we tell ourselves right before the tears stream down our face. Friends, beauty isn’t just about how we look, it’s about the impact on how we think and live. Who we are on the inside DOES matter most. But, how we think and present ourselves physically matters, too. You will connect more freely with the world around you if you feel better about yourself. Think about the people that you could love and serve if you weren’t so self-conscious or preoccupied with your size, shape or style.
Does it really matter if you get rid of the clothes that don’t fit?
Yes. Because every time you look at them, you attach meaning to those clothes. You know that you shouldn’t, but you do. So, I believe that what you own should be the reflection of your “best” you. Even if you toss out everything and have one amazing paid of jeans and one incredible shirt, that’s infinitely better than a closet full of those that make you sad. Don’t wear clothes that make you sad!
Ten years ago, I felt bad on the inside and out. On the outside, I wore shapeless t-shirts, gigantic sweaters, awful fitting Mom-jeans, etc. because I just didn’t care. Inside, I was overcome with disappointment, broken dreams and missed expectations. My clothes made me sad. Frankly, I didn’t care. Ever felt that way? Then, one day, a friend suggested that I simply put on a pair of earrings. Now, we both knew that earrings weren’t going to fix my life, but it forced me to take a moment to care for myself. This triggered something inside of me.
You can watch “What Not To Wear” on Netflix. I learned SOOO much about my personal fit and style from them!
One day, I started watching Clinton and Stacy on “What Not to Wear” and took notes on the clothes that women with my body shape were wearing. Buying new clothes wasn’t an option back then, so I decided to check out the Goodwill. Surprisingly, I found labels like Ann Klein, Banana Republic, Ralph Lauren, Gap and New York & Co. on those second-hand racks. When I stood before the mirror, wearing clothes that actually fit well, I cried. Why? I no longer saw a 31-year old woman broken down by her life. Instead, I saw a woman who was standing tall with a smile on her face. It felt great. I felt great.
I went home and got rid of everything that didn’t fit or didn’t not make me feel great about myself. for awhile, I wore the same clothes a lot, but I added great-fitting clothes as my budget allowed. These days, I can buy more, but I don’t. Why? I have one other important rule: I only buy what I absolutely, positively LOVE. If I don’t love it, it stays on the rack.
Now back to you: Is it time for you to care for yourself? Are you ready to get rid of the clothes that bum you out when you put them on? Even if you are down to one pair of pants and two shirts, if they make you feel like a million bucks – great! Rebuild from there. In the end, remember this: If it doesn’t “fit”, get rid of it!
Q4U (Question for you): What is one article of clothing that you’ve held onto for FAR too long? How long have you had it? Why do you hold on to it?
I’d love to hear your answers. Just take a moment to comment and let’s encourage each other! If you think this post could encourage another woman, feel free to share it up! By the way CLICK HERE to check out my new book, Enough Already: Winning Your Ugly Struggle with Beauty. Thanks for stopping by today,
by Barb Roose | Apr 13, 2015 | Scripture Devotional, Women's Topics
Friends, the pace of our lives is exhausting. Who’s exhausted?
Thanks to technology and innovation, our complex world has created more complexity for our lives. Since we can do more, we do more. My iPhone is the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me. It allows me to talk, text, email, shop, schedule, purchase, play, and watch every single minute of every single hour of each day – even when I shouldn’t be doing all of those things.
Then, there’s life. Life wears us down, right? Every 24 hours, we cycle through highs, lows, smiles and struggles. We can be celebrating in one minute and feeling like our life is over in the next. It’s exhausted just navigating the emotional and relational swings we must manage throughout the day. How in the world can we stack the deck in our favor so that we don’t break down under the pressure of life. In a word: REST.
When was the last time that you completely disconnected from your life and did absolutely nothing?
Folding laundry while watching television doesn’t count.
Worrying about how you are going to get your life done doesn’t count.
Neither does paying bills on your iPad in bed.
When was the last time you rested? Rest happens when we stop working at our jobs AND at home. Rest happens when we choose to disengage our minds from thinking about those tasks and life’s other pressures. Let me ask you again: When was the last time you rested?
I’m not good at resting. (My friends are laughing at me right now.)
I think some of you are bad at it, too. We don’t want to be bad at resting, but we are – for good reason, right? We are always taking care of someone or something. It doesn’t matter if you are single, married or single again, our feminine mindset drives us to constantly nurture or fix our environments. It doesn’t matter if you are motivating your sales staff, raising children, cleaning the house, listening to friends on the phone or growing our garden, most of us are ALWAYS doing something. Good things.
But, here’s a truth: At some point, we’ve got to press the “power down” button and voluntarily – even forcefully remove ourselves from the worship of Busyness. We must take time to sit our down and rest.
God Blesses Rest
I love that God blesses rest in Genesis 2:2-3:
“On the seventh day God had finished His work of creation, so He rested from all His work. And God blessed the seventh day and declared it holy, because it was the day when he rested from all His work of creation.”
Here is how God models rest for us:
1. God prioritized what He needed to do.
2. When God’s work was finished, He stopped and didn’t add anything else to it.
3. He didn’t let the pressures of future tasks get in the way of rest.
The Jewish word we use to describe the kind of rest God models for us is called a Sabbath. During Sabbath rest, we cease our labor. So, if you are employed, you’ll need to establish your Sabbath on your day off. If you work seven days a week, you need to rethink your job. Why would I make such a bold statement?
This is why: When we rest, we turn the care and custody of our lives into God’s hands for Him to protect and provide for us while we rejuvenate.
I understand that there may be certain periods of life when we work more than usual, but this should not be your constant rhythm of life. For the months that I was writing this book, I missed out on regular rest. When the book is over, reinstituting this discipline is my first task. (Even before catching up on my laundry!)
Friday is my day of rest. I love Fridays! I work about six days a week, except on Friday. Thursday nights are exciting for me because I know Friday’s up next. My toughest challenge is shutting down my brain from thinking about work. So, I read fiction books and eat grocery store sushi in bed. I take long walks and practice deep breathing. I sit and pray. Sometime, I just wander around my house in the quiet.
No matter the stress and pressure of my life, by the end of each Sabbath rest, my soul is refreshed and I feel alive again. I’m much more equipped to handle those pressures and bear up under those stresses after choosing to rest. Life happens, so we must rest in order to deal with life. I want you to be able to deal with life from a place of strength, rather than a place of just-barely-hanging-in-there. The choice is up to you.
When will YOU take the time to rest?
Practical Tips:
1. When you choose your day of rest, keep it as consistent as possible. Be vigilant until this becomes a part of your regular rhythm of life.
2. Do not schedule anything on that day! It’s not rest if you’ve got a schedule to follow. Just be.
3. What about mothers with children or women caring for elderly loved ones? God still wants you to experience rest! This means that you might need to get creative with solutions such as trading babysitting or even paying for respite care. Trust me, any expense or effort you put into arranging for your Sabbath rest will have an incredible ROI (return on investment)!
QUESTIONS FOR YOU? If you had a free day with nothing to do, how would you rest? Would it be easy or difficult for you to wind down and just “be”? How would you know that you actually rested?
by Barb Roose | Apr 8, 2015 | Scripture Devotional, Women's Topics
One day, I took my then five-year-old daughter, Abbie, shopping with me. I needed to check out some new clothes and didn’t want to pay for a sitter. My youngest little girl has a kind and loving heart, so I can always count on her to have sweet and supportive things to say. After we arrived at the store, it took a few minutes for me to choose some clothes to try on in the dressing room. As we went entered the hallway of the dressing room area, I realized that there wasn’t a place for Abbie to sit. So, I brought her inside of my small dressing room and settled her on the little perch in the corner of the room.
Promising to be quick, I handed Abbie some crackers and turned to disrobe. Since the dressing room can be a judgment room, I mentally prepared to get half-naked and try on clothes that may or may not fit. What if it doesn’t fit? I should have worked out more. I wish that I was 10 pounds thinner! My little cherub munched on her crackers as I slipped out of my coat and turned to remove my top. Then, her munching stopped and her little voice piped up: “It’s OK, Mommy. I won’t laugh.”
So much for thinking that I had kept my insecurities to myself!
I was wrong. Somewhere along the line, my five-year old daughter picked up on my frustration over my size, shape or style, otherwise known as my “ugly struggle with beauty”.
“Why don’t I ever look good in anything?”
“My feet are SO big! Goodness, someone could use these for a boat!”
“Look at these hips! Nothing ever fits right over these hips!”
I never wanted Abbie or my other daughters to sense my discomfort with my body. Yet, I had passed my negative thinking and feelings about my size and shape onto my daughters.
In October 2013, I surveyed over 500 women about the topic of beauty and how beauty has impacted their lives. Many women reflected on how their mothers’ ugly struggle with beauty was passed along to them. Here’s one woman’s story:
My mother is a beautiful woman by anyone’s standards, but she does not see it that way. To this day, she works to support her beauty habits. She’s had breast augmentation, countless peels and laser resurfacing and practically lives at the salon. This was my model. I remember my mother telling me that I was beautiful, but I also remember her worrying about what I was eating, and how my hair looked and what other people would think about me. I scrutinize every imperfection on my face. I have long, full hair that other women compliment me on, but it’s fake. I shop a lot. I constantly size myself up against other women. It is honestly exhausting at times.
Clearly, her mother never intended for her daughter to inherit her ugly struggle with beauty, but our words and actions influence our daughters more than we realize.
Protecting our daughters from our ugly struggle…
Moms, we never want for our daughters is to experience the same sadness and frustration that we encounter in the mirror, right? If our daughters express a beauty-related struggle, we’re quick to go out an buy something to help. We make sure they have acne-free skin, pay for nose jobs or by them stylish clothes. Yet, trying to address their physical struggle doesn’t matter if our girls are also carrying around OUR beauty-related pain in their hearts and minds.
So, what do we do to influence our daughters away from our ugly struggle? The best way to keep our daughters from inheriting our ugly struggle with beauty is for us to win OUR ugly struggle with beauty!
There are three things that we need to do in order to win our ugly struggle or reduce our struggle’s impact on our daughter’s lives:
1. Understand your “beauty narrative” – What’s your beauty story? Talking about beauty is more than just talking about how we look, it’s about understand it’s impact on how we think and live. Are there nicknames or painful memories that you’ve carried around since childhood that whisper back to you each time you look in the mirror? When we don’t acknowledge the things that happened to us, we carry them around and give them the power to influence our thinking, feelings.
2. Re-Think Your Body – Your relationship with beauty begins in your mind. What you think drives how you feel and behave. If you struggle with you’re a certain body part or facial feature, then a practical tip would be re-frame how you think about that feature. How does that body part bless your life? What purpose does that body part serve in helping you love and care for the people around you? I struggle with the gap between my front teeth. Yet, my mouth affords me the opportunities to speak with women and encourage them. I know that my voice and smile would not be as effective without my two front teeth. So, those teeth are a blessing because they allow me to encourage others.
3. BE Beautiful! Beauty isn’t about our size, shape or style. Instead, we are beautiful when we recognize ourselves as creations of an Almighty God. We are not doomed because our hips may be too wide or our skin isn’t youthful or smooth. We are beautiful because God created us. Period.
When our daughters see us smiling at ourselves in the mirror, our daughters will remember and mimic that behavior. When our daughters overhear blessing our bodies, in spite of what our culture says about beauty, then our daughters will learn to bless their bodies in spite of what culture says about their beauty.
While we can’t protect our daughters from their own ugly struggle with beauty, we can protect them from inheriting ours.
QUESTION: How did your mom influence your opinions about beauty? What beliefs or attitudes have you carried from childhood into your adult years? Share your story by leaving a comment below.
Friends, thanks for stopping by today! If you think that this post could bless your friends, I’d love for you to share it!
by Barb Roose | Mar 29, 2015 | Uncategorized
“What’s the craziest thing that you’ve done in the name of beauty?”
This was a question that I asked over 500 women around the world as part of my 2013 Created with Curves study on beauty.
Here were some of my favorite answers that didn’t make it into the book:
I wanted to be tan so badly, that one time I used Wesson oil and laid out in the sun for two hours! Needless to say I was fried!
I wore silicone breast enhancements that fit into a special bra in my 20’s. One night, I went dancing and one fell out onto the dance floor.
Tried to lighten my own hair. Went to bed brown, woke up orange.
I tried to wax “downstairs” by myself. It didn’t work had there was wax stuck for days…
(Is it wrong to admit that I screamed with laughter over a few of these…)
Some of the most oft-listed responses in the survey was the use of Preparation H to combat puffy eyes and dipping one’s self in vegetable oil before laying out in the sun. If you’ve ever done either of those, you’re probably experience some unpleasant flashbacks right now.
Once upon a time when I was growing up, there was no such thing as the Pinterest for beauty tips. Our beauty advice came from “Seventeen Magazine” or “Glamour.” There were some stupid ideas out there promising to help us get rid of acne or to lose 10 pounds. And some of us listened to every hair-brained idea out there. Like me. I wanted to lose weight my sophomore year of high school. Each day, I only ate a bagel, orange and can of fake generic lemon-lime pop. #didntloseapound #soooohangry
God gave us our bodies for a purpose far beyond what we can think, feel or see in the mirror. It’s a good thing to take care of ourselves – even getting hair highlighted, make-up, etc. But, we can’t just do anything and everything to our bodies .Last week, I read about a woman who died after receiving questionably butt injections in a back room at a beauty salon. My heart broke, for not only her death, but for all of the thoughts, feelings and beliefs that convinced her that she wasn’t enough already.
Wisdom is needed to discern what’s reasonable and wise when it comes to taking advantage of our beauty options. Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do! Pay attention to those words:
And whatever else you do, develop good judgment. –Proverbs 4:7
For those who love to read between the lines on things, don’t look for hidden meanings behind Proverbs 4:7. Just take the words in for what God is trying to tell you. That’s what I want to share with you today.
I don’t have a list of do’s or don’ts for you. While I have opinions about plastic surgery, HCG diets, oils or any other stuff, my opinions are really only for me. Not for you. Your job is to figure out what God’s conviction for you as it pertains to those beauty-related topics.
Here’s the most important part: Friend, if you don’t know, ASK God for wisdom and guidance. And then, as the verse says, use good judgment.
Too often, we’re looking for a shortcut to fast results, when most of us just need to start with eating more fruits and vegetables and getting more exercise, right? Don’t make it too hard on yourself, friends. Some of the stuff that we need to do to take care of ourselves is common sense.
Never forget, You are beautiful. Discipline yourself to use wisdom and apply good judgment in living out your faith and honoring God with your body.
Q4U: What’s the craziest thing that you’ve every done in the name of beauty?
Thanks for checking out today’s devotional! It’s been such a pleasure to offer the 7-day “Beautiful Devotional” this week. If you missed any of the other posts, I’d love for you to check them out! If you’d like weekly encouragement on topics related to our shape, style and soul, please subscribe by clicking here. It’s fast and easy!
