I saw a phrase on Instagram last week that caught my attention: empathetic distress.

Psychologist Adam Grant, who is one of my favorite personal development thinkers, explained that empathetic distress is when we see someone hurting and we feel are unable to help. Grant pointed out that empathic distress can lead to withdrawal (isolation) because of overwhelm and exhaustion.

When I re-shared Adam’s post in my Instagram stories, someone sent me a note and said, “YES! This names what I’ve been feeling the past two years.”

Today’s devotional is a shoutout to those of us who have big hearts, but our hearts are filled with heartache for what’s happening in our lives or in our world.

God calls us to care about others, but we must be wise and discerning because we cannot actively care about everybody all the time, especially at the same time. Some of you need to hear this today: Only God can shoulder all your family’s problems, our world’s social issues, world conflict, and the spread of evil. You aren’t God and you weren’t built to carry that load.

What are some clues that you might be in empathetic distress?

1. You have a big heart for others but caring deeply for one person’s suffering or feeling distress for lots of people in pain is exhausting you.
2. You’re overwhelmed because you see so many problems and you’re tempted to shut everyone and everything out.
3. You have a heavy heart all the time and you notice a lack of God’s joy or peace.

If you recognize one or more of these, perhaps today’s devotional is a prompt for you to stop and reflect. I’m going to share a powerful reminder from Jesus and four practical tips for us today.

In Matthew 6, Jesus taught a large group of people from all walks of life, followers, and non-followers in his Sermon on the Mount. There was one portion of his sermon where he addressed the attentiveness of God:

 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? -Matthew 6:26-27 NLT

Jesus reminds us that God is paying attention to everything happening in our world. Think about this: God pays attention to the birds that don’t have jobs or eternal souls, and He still cares about them. Jesus also taught that God pays attention to the flowers in the field that don’t even last long, but God still cares for them. 

In a world where it feels like we need to worry about everything, Jesus tells us not to worry because it adds nothing to the quality of our lives. Jesus taught this message to remind us that only God cares, but God is ridiculously in control, friends.

Nothing is happening in your life, your loved ones’ lives, or in our world that escapes God’s notice. He sees the mess and get this: God’s not worried about it. He’s not missing ANY sleep and He is not wringing His hands trying to figure out what to do. 

So how do we balance caring about others or the problems in our world, but not letting ourselves get carried away into empathetic distress? 

Here are four practical steps to guide you in demonstrating care and concern without carrying burdens that you aren’t supposed to:

1. Be wise about how much news content you consume. Watching endless news coverage will only grow your fear, not your faith.
2. Pray! God is at work, friends. We may not be able to see it, but faith prompts us to believe it.
3. As you pray, be mindful of what God puts on your heart to do - but you do not have to do everything. Leave room for people to need God instead of you potentially trying to be God by handling all of the problems and issues. Here are some supportive things that you can do without fixing problems:  you can send encouraging messages, ask them how you can pray for them, support them with a meal, or just sit and let them talk about their struggles. 
4. Surrender your fears and worries to God because YOU need it. Practically, a next step would be to let go of your worrying, by changing your worry words to worship. What if you started worshipping God each time you noticed that you were worrying? Which one will be healthier for your heart and mind? You can worship in prayer or listen to music. I have a great playlist on Spotify if you need music recommendations.

What do you think about empathetic distress? Does that describe how you’ve been feeling lately? If you’ve been encouraged or you recognize that God’s prompting you to do something, tell us about it.  

Have you ever sensed that God was moving you out of the way so that He could work in someone else's life? 

Let me tell you a story…

Last Monday, I woke up with a cold. By late afternoon, I could barely speak. By evening, my voice was gone. Just like that. Completely gone.

After I shuffled my schedule around to postpone some meetings, I still had one other situation happening last week. My 23-year-old daughter needed to move. This is my NICU nurse daughter who lives in my eight-apartment building. For two years, she’s lived in a one-bedroom apartment on the first floor, but she was moving up to the apartment directly underneath me.

Here’s how God may have moved me out of the way…

Monday night, I moseyed downstairs to her apartment and thought, “Yep. She needs my help.” Boxes were everywhere and Abbie looked overwhelmed. Inside, I smiled. She SO needs me.

I was wrong. When I typed out on my phone, “Would you like me to help you figure this out?” She shook her head and said, “No, Mom. I got this.”

What? Did she see what I saw? If I had a voice, I would have disagreed with her. 

It was hard watching Abbie run her hands through her hair, blow out frustrated breaths, or look wide-eyed at the jumble of boxes, bags and clothes all over her apartment. I could tell she had no idea of what to do. If I'd had voice, I would have tried to convince her to follow my moving advice. After all, I knew how to fix this. She might have even listened, but she would have been annoyed as well. Even though Abbie didn't know what to do, she didn't want me to solve her problem. 

However, since I had no voice and Abbie didn’t want to keep stopping to look at what I typed, I had to keep my opinions and wisdom to myself.

Guess what?

Over the next two days, Abbie figured it out. She moved. She even did it without my advice. Shocking, right?! Since I wasn’t feeling well, I could only help carry boxes for a little time each day. She struggled, but she also succeeded.

When we see our loved ones frustrated or struggling what do we do? We want to come to the rescue. For us, love means jumping in and giving (unsolicited) advice, fixing the problems or nagging them to do things our way, because we think our way is best.

Is trusting God with your loved ones hard for you? Take a journey with me through the Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus Bible study.

We’ll walk with Jesus through his wilderness experience and discover the power of letting the Holy Spirit lead us. You’ll learn how to release control-loving behaviors and experience God peace.

Should that be our first response? Could love also be letting them figure it out? When we jump in the way, we can rob our loved ones of what will make them stronger, wiser, and more importantly, help them see that they need God. It’s often in hardship or stress that people turn to God. A long time ago my therapist told me: Make sure that you don’t get in the way of your loved one’s need for God.

Here’s an observation: What if we said less to our loved ones to give God space to do more in their lives?

Saying less to your loved one doesn’t mean that you go silent. Sometimes concern needs to be expressed or confrontation is needed in certain situations. But for most  matters, we need say less to our loved ones to make room for God to do more. He’s the one who knows best!

Even as I saw the stress and frustration on my Abbie’s face, I could also see her discerning the things she was throwing out and keeping. I imagine she was counting the cost of the things she chose to keep or let go. As she dealt with some adulting tasks that she’d postponed, I could see the resignation on her face that she would do better in the future.

While I desired to smooth Abbie’s bumpy path, could it be that God allowed my voice to disappear to create space for Abbie to learn deep, meaningful life lessons that my moving advice might have caused her to miss? I was so worried about how she would move her stuff, but I can see now that God used that experience to move wisdom into her heart.

I saw this verse and thought it would be a fitting way to end today’s devotional:

Proverbs 17:27 says this: “A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered.”

This can apply to how you speak to your spouse, kids, friends, co-workers, elderly parents and anyone else. Ask God if you should pray to Him before speaking to them.

What do you think? Is there anyone or anything that comes to mind for you? If so, I’d love to hear about it.

 P.S. My voice returned on Wednesday. Thank you to everyone who responded on social media and prayed for me.

Do you have trouble letting go of control? When there’s something that I really want, there is a temptation to engage in what I call the SHINE Control-Loving Behaviors in my Surrendered: Letting Go and Living Like Jesus Bible study:

• Stonewalling - Digging our heels in until we get what we want
• Helicoptering - Micromanaging others
• Interrupting - Cutting off people’s words/Interfering with their lives
• Nagging - Do I need to explain this one?
• Excessive Planning - Defining every single detail in hopes of controlling the final result

Which one or more of these are familiar to you?

What’s so hard about letting go of control and trusting God instead?

After all, we love God. We believe in Him. Yet, when it comes to certain things in life, we clutch onto our hopes, expectations, dreams, and plans like a two-year-old clinging to a blanket that needs to be washed.

I think that there are three primary reasons that we don’t like to let go of what we can’t control:

1. We’re afraid that something bad will happen.

2. We’re worried that God won’t give us what we want.

3. We worry that God is taking too long and we’re afraid of time.

Today’s devotional is so real for me. For months, I’ve wrestled with God over letting go of a dream in my heart. I’ve surrendered it - and then I’ve run back and grabbed that dream up again. For the past week, I’ve practiced surrendering it each day again. Can you relate?

Here’s a hard truth: Holding doesn’t help. Often, it hurts.

Holding on to what we can’t control will begin to control us. Holding on controls our level of content contentment, our level of peace, and even our attitude toward God.

When your hands are filled with what you’re trying to hold onto, you don’t have room to hold onto God. He wants to lead you and me toward His peace, and toward greater trust in Him.

Maybe today, God’s gentle whisper to us is this: “Let go, my precious one so that I can help you.”

Today, I’m sharing three letting go verses that we can stand on when releasing what we long for, but can’t control to God. First, let’s pray before diving into these verses. Take a breath. Now, let’s pray:

God, I invite You into these next few moments. Use these verses to speak to me and guide me toward Your truth. Amen.

1. Give all of your worries and cares to God because He cares about you. -1 Peter 5:7

Whatever you’re carrying today is probably too much for your heart. God knows this. He wants you to experience His peace, not be weighed down by your pain or problems. Today, give it to God. He cares about you. Here’s the prayer that I’ve been praying the past two weeks: “God, I need to give over __________ to You. I release it and I want to receive Your love and peace. Amen.”

2. So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries… -Matthew 6:34

It’s hard to let go when you aren’t sure how God will handle the situation. Yet, we have God’s Word to remind us of who He is. God is good, faithful, loving, powerful and gracious. Even if you don’t know the outcome of your situation, you can know that God will do what is best and good for you - and those that you love. God will not fail you, my friend.

3. Kind words are like honey. Sweet to the soul and healthy to the body. -Proverbs 16:24

When we’re struggling to let go, we can beat ourselves up for feeling a lack of faith. Do you need to let go of being too hard on yourself? If God gives us grace in our struggles, then speak words of grace and let go of speaking negativity over yourself. Do you need to start a “Stop Saying This” list?

Ugh. I’m so stupid.

I can’t ever get it right.

Why can’t I be more like…

Instead, speak words of grace, compassion, and kindness to yourself. I’m doing the best that I can. God will help me. I am loved by God. Write these down or put them in your phone as a reminder. If this is how God speaks to you, follow His example.

I hope that you found encouragement in walking with me through a struggle that I’ve been dealing with lately. If you can relate or one of these verses was helpful for you, hit “reply” and tell me about it.

Are you facing a problem in life that you can’t fix, no matter what you do?

Are you disappointed by unchanging circumstances? Perhaps you’ve heard the phrase, “Let go and let God,” which suggests that surrender is God’s path for peace for your life. It maybe true, but it’s easier said than done, isn’t it?

This popular six-week Bible study on Jesus' time in the wilderness will equip you to give up control, reach for God, let go of fear, and experience the blessings of the surrendered life. It’s possible to let go and live like Jesus and the result is experience God’s power and peace as never before.

Have you ever read about one of the feasts in the Bible and thought to yourself, "What is that all about?"

Well, in today's episode, Barb speaks with author and recovering expat Alicia Akins about how the feasts of the Bible relate to us today and how we can live with faith in the truth that we are called to live an abundant life. 

 RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE

feetcrymercy.com

Invitations to Abundance: How the Feasts of the Bible Nourish Us Today

Connect with Alicia on IG!

Connect with Alicia on Twitter!

ABOUT OUR SPECIAL GUEST

I receive emails or I’m approached from by Jesus-loving women who wonder if they’re letting God down because they haven’t figured out their calling. Women who believe that they are supposed to be leading some ministry, starting a non-profit, married or killing it at motherhood - and they feel less-than in the kingdom of God because they’re not.

Maybe that’s you. You hear women say, “God called me to do _______” or “God called me to serve ______________” and you’re wondering, Why haven’t I figured out what God’s called me to do? Oh no, have I missed it?!  

When Jesus called the disciples, this is what he said:

Jesus called out to them, “Come, follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people.”

-Mark 1:17 NLT

Jesus called. They responded. Jesus priority was for the disciples to follow Him. Later, when Jesus sent the disciples out in pairs, Mark 6:7 notes that Jesus called them to him, then he sent them out. The Greek word proskaleó for “Jesus called” means that Jesus drew the disciples to Him first for relationship, then he sent them on assignment.

Through grace, we’re called into relationship with God. Popular opinion is that calling is about roles or performance. Yes, people received assignments in the Bible as teachers, apostles, etc. Now, callings can lead to assignments from God, but an assignment shouldn’t be confused with our calling to live as children of God.

My calling isn’t to stand on a stage, teach or write books. This is God’s assignment for my life right now. I’m grateful for this assignment, but it’s not guaranteed for the rest of my life. Some of my past assignments have also included pharmaceutical sales, working for my church and motherhood. The caution is for us to not turn our assignments into our identity. There’s a lot of confusion and pain that happens when we confuse calling with our identity, especially when a ministry role ends or a season of life changes.

When your calling is to know God, then whatever assignment God brings into your life stems from your abiding or connection to Him. When He brings that assignment to an end, you may grieve it, but it doesn’t shake or topple your identity because it always stayed in God, not some external place.

My calling is know God and from my relationship with God. From that identity, I’ll share the gospel, but how that happens isn’t dependent on my job or career.  I tell my friends that I can live out the gospel as a child of God on a stage, on a plane, working at Target or in a hospital bed.

My friend, when you live as a fully-alive disciple of Jesus when you recognize that your calling begins with your relationship in Him…

not in your ministry role at church,

not in your career title,

not in how many people follow you on social media,

not in your status as a wife or mother.

Your greatest purpose is to know Christ. Period.

You are living out your best life when you are living hand-and-hand with Christ.

On Friday, I attended the memorial service of a dear man named Ray. He served weekly as a greeter at our church’s 9am service for at over fifteen years. I also knew Ray from my weekly Al-Anon group. Every single time that I saw him, Ray spoke a word of encouragement and always gave me a hug. Ray also served at Celebrate Recovery as a mentor.

Every person who stood up at the memorial service remembered Ray as a kind, gentle, committed follower of Jesus. What was Ray’s calling? He followed Jesus and from that relationship, God used Ray in powerful ways to encourage others, to listen, to be a friend and to grow in Christ. He never stood on a stage. Ray never had a big ministry. But he made a lasting and positive impact on thousands of people in his lifetime.

I wanted to share Ray’s life with you because I suspect that many, many of you are just like Ray. You love Jesus and you are serving others. However, you’re comparing what you do to what others are doing and it doesn’t feel big enough or important enough.

If that’s you, please pay attention - close attention to what I’m about to say:

If you’re following Jesus and you’re serving God from the heart in any way, then you’re in the sweetest spot of where you are supposed to be until God moves you somewhere else. Enjoy that assignment. Celebrate joining God in His work. When other ask you about what your calling is, you can say this: Jesus called me to follow him and right now, I’m exactly where God wants me to be.

I hope that this devotional encourages you today. If you’ve got a story to share or something in today’s devotional helped you, drop a comment and let me know!

Last week, I saw this updated version of Your Plan Vs. Reality meme on Facebook. The classic version from a few years ago didn’t have flames, spider webs or sharks, but life has changed dramatically since 2020, right? Yet, the message is still the same.  We have the expectation that life will be smooth and predictable. Life keeps proving that twists and turns are a part of every journey.

We have a choice: We can get better or bitter when life twists in a way that we don't like.

Today, I invite you to learn some lesson from a woman whose life didn’t turn out as she’d hoped. She became bitter, but eventually, she got better.

Her story resonates with me because I spent a lot of my life believing that if I worked hard, trusted God and put my grocery store cart back after unloading my groceries, then life shouldn’t throw me any big curve balls.

In fact, I’ve told God on many occasions that I’m not a big fan of curve balls. I want life to be gentle. I’d love to know what’s coming and plenty of time to figure things out. Who’s with me? 

In the book of Ruth, we meet Naomi as her life is in shambles. Her husband is dead and so are her sons. Naomi lives far from her home in Bethlehem and now, she needs to go back to pick up the pieces of her life again. If you want to read all of Naomi’s story, today’s a good day to do that! The book of Ruth is only four chapters long and contains a sweet love story, too. If you can’t, I’m here to give you a cliff notes version with some thoughts for you today:

I remember feeling like Naomi years ago. I’d been married for 25 years when over the course of one year, I had to move out of my home, my husband didn’t want to be married anymore and my father and father-in-law died. I’d wake up in the morning and beg God to bring my old life back because nothing was like before and it all hurt too much.

Life falls apart for all of us. Some of you have been there – more than once. Some of you have written me about lives out of control or unwanted changes. How do you wake up and keep going without getting bitter like Naomi? Maybe you wouldn’t say that you are bitter, but you know that your fellowship with God has been broken. You’ve distanced yourself from God – and you blame Him.

When Life Isn’t Going As Planned:

1. Don’t push away the people who love you and want to help you.

Naomi does her best to shoo away daughters-in-law, Ruth and Orpah, who want to say with Naomi. She thinks that she’s bad luck, “Things are far more better for me than for you, because the LORD himself is raised his fist against me” (Ruth 1:11 NIV). Thankfully, Ruth is tenacious, and Naomi relents. Later, Naomi realizes that Ruth was God’s provision for Naomi even as Naomi was too angry to see it at the time.

REFLECTION: Who are the people in your life that God could be sending to help you? Do you need to stop pushing them away? Be humble and say “yes” when loving people offer to help.

2. Take Your bitterness TO God, Not Make Your Bitterness About Him

Here’s what Naomi said to the women in Bethlehem who welcomed her back home: “Don’t call me Naomi, instead call me Mara, for the Almighty has made life very bitter for me. I went away full, but the Lord has brought me home empty” (Ruth 1:20).

You know what I appreciate here, Naomi is honest. She’s not trying to spread super-spiritual topping over the devastation of her life. The issue is that Naomi hadn’t taken her anger to God.  When you’re angry at God, but not talking to Him, that bitterness will poison you inside out and you’ll drive people away with your anger and negativity. When you bring your bitterness to Him, God helps you work through it to healing.

ACTION STEP: Be honest WITH God about your anger and disappointment. Actually say the words: “God, I’m bitter and angry that You let ___________ happen.” He can handle it.

3. Keep Your Eyes Open to God’s Grace

Ruth begins working in a man named Boaz’s fields. Naomi perks up because Boaz is a distant relative and perhaps for the first time, Naomi senses hope. “May the LORD bless him. He is showing his kindness to us as well as to your dead husband” (Ruth 1:20). Naomi saw the blessing and grace of Ruth working up in the field of a family member who watches out for Ruth. Naomi chooses to see God at work and that begins to change something in her.

REFLECTION: God’s grace is in your life somewhere. Take time today to look for it. Are you willing to acknowledge that even in a hard place of anger or grief, that God is still providing for you – even if it isn’t what you want?

There’s so much more to learn from Naomi! The speedy version is that eventually, she coaches Ruth on how to capture Boaz’s attention. Ruth and Boaz fall in love, which also means that Naomi’s security, family and future are restored.

Today’s devotional isn’t a 1-2-3 easy answer if your life has been heartbreaking or hard. Rather, these brief thoughts are intended to be a flash of hope so that you know that God hasn’t forgotten you, especially if you’ve been wondering why your life hasn’t gone as planned.

Like Naomi, I’ve experienced the restoration of security and hope, even though God has provided in a way that I hadn’t expected. He will do the same for you. God is a gracious God of restoration and renewal.

JOIN THE CONVERSATION: Was your life turned out different than you planned? What was hard for you? How did you see God’s mercy or grace in your life?

Becoming a homesteader may sound totally out of reach, but chances are you may already enjoy some of those activities in your day-to-day life. Do you enjoy whipping up a home cooked meal, taking care of your house plants, or creating a cozy home for your family? Well in this episode, our special guest proves that there is a little bit of homesteader in all of us. 

In today's conversation, Barb speaks with author and friend Kathi Lipp about her move from Silicon Valley to the mountains of California and her journey to becoming an accidental homesteader. Even if you don't aspire to grow your own vegetables or knit your own clothes, Kathi shows us how we can embrace a simpler and more fulfilling life and create a home that we love.

RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE

kathilipp.com

The Accidental Homesteader: What I've Learned about Chickens, Compost, and Creating Home

Connect with Kathi on IG!

Connect with Kathi on FB!

ABOUT OUR SPECIAL GUEST

 These days, buzzwords like “spiritual abuse” and “church hurt” are flying around. At my church, one of our sayings is that “church should be the safest place in the world for hurting people.” It’s a bummer that we have to say this because every church and Christian should be safe, but that isn’t the case.

Today’s question: How can we be safe spaces for others?

Without safety, people won’t stick around to either hear the gospel or grow in grace. Some of us are pretty comfortable in our Christian skin that we don’t always recognize that our words or language is making others uncomfortable.

Being safe doesn’t mean that you excuse sin or you ignore suffering. However, you are a safe space when people (saved or unsaved) can be honest with you about their sins, struggles or their circumstances without fear of abuse, judgement, or being shamed. You are a safe space when you apply God’s Holy Spirit to what you say, when you say it, and even what you don’t say.

Let today be a wake-up call for ALL of us to not only share the gospel, but we will also be safe people who live out the gospel, too.

We can find practical guidance to apply here:

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.

-James 1:19 NLT

Let’s look at the three elements of that verse and how applying James’ wisdom can help me and you be a safe space for other Christians:

1. You all must be quick to listen.

How many of us are quick to give advice, interrogate, freak out or judge? That’s often what happens when someone tells us something and our anxiety over their spiritual condition overrides what they need in the moment.

Here’s the biggest issue: When we’re thinking about our response instead of really listening, we hear their words, we likely miss listening to their heart. When we listen well, we can often hear their pain, frustration, fear, or their grief?

There are some questions that I like asking to help me be a better listener to not only the person’s words, but also listen to their heart and their struggle. Consider asking these questions the next time someone approaches you with a problem:

What’s been hard for you?

What have you been praying about?

Where do you see God working?

What questions are you asking yourself these days?

What kind of support would be most helpful for you?

God is powerful enough to straighten the out. What if God’s purpose for us to be a safe place to hear them out.

2. You all must be slow to speak.

Sometimes, I think that we’re talking over the voice of the Holy Spirit in people’s lives. They share something and we’re right there with something to say. What if the Holy Spirit is speaking to their hearts in that moment? What if we paused to give the person space to hear a possible leading from God’s Spirit?

In my weekly Al-Anon meetings, we keep our space safe by NOT giving advice after someone shares their story or even their frustration. Happy Monday Community, can we admit that we often don’t know the full 360 view of a person’s problem or journey, but God’s Spirit does. Let’s get out of the way after someone shares and give the Spirit some space to speak to them.

If you need to say something, try encouraging words like “Thank you for sharing that with us” or “We’re so glad that you are here” or “We are here and we’re praying for you.”

After the meeting, if you still feel God prompting you to speak, then you can approach the person and ask permission to share something on your heart.

3. You all must be slow to get angry.

Anger is a self-centered emotion. When we’re angry, it’s about what we’re feeling inside, not about someone else. We get angry when we’re offended or we’re outraged by others sin. We’re slow to get angry when we remember our sins and our struggles so we’re not quick to get offended or judge. Since God is slow to anger with us, then we need to model that and coach ourselves to not be so quick to be disappointed, offended, judgmental or critical of others.

REFLECTION: As you think about being a safe space as a Christian for others, what else would you add to today’s devotional? When you reflect on James 1:19, which one(s) stand out to you?

Last week I had a difficult conversation with someone important to me. This person carries a heavy grudge against God. A lifelong Christian, this person grew up in a home where Bible was weaponized and used as a reason to justify harsh words and frequent punishment. Instead of learning the fear of God as reverence for a holy God, this person was taught that God was hostile and he prioritized punishment over love. Even with a lifetime of knowing the Bible, this person still struggles with lingering hard feelings.

Maybe you can relate. You know that you are saved by God, but you question whether He loves you. Whether the trauma from your upbringing, you’ve been unlucky in love, suffered from poor health, stuck in a painful marriage, or constant financial insecurity you’re pretty sure that God has favorites, and you aren’t one of them.

When the person in my conversation admitted their grudge against God, my heart simply broke for them. If this is how you feel, my heart breaks for you as well. It’s devastating to wonder if God loves you or excruciating to believe that He doesn’t. Not feeling God’s love is like being stuck under a dark cloud. You know the sun is there, but you can’t feel its warmth.

God’s heart hurts for you as well. He knows that when we question His love, we’re vulnerable to Satan's lies. The Enemy of our soul knows that when we doubt God’s love, we’ll justify doing what God knows isn’t good for us. As the proverbs say, this path seems right at first. Instead of finding the substitute for God’s love that we long for, we unintentionally create pain, brokenness, and hurt people around us.

God wants us to experience His love because only He can satisfy our deepest longings for security, acceptance, and peace. If you’ve struggled with believing God’s love for you today, I don’t have any quick fixes or Band-Aids for your situation. But, I do want to share three important reminders that I believe God wants you to hear today:

Let’s pray together:

God, please remove the cloud that I feel between us. You didn’t put the cloud there, but I can’t make it go away alone. I want to experience the warmth of Your love. Help me to shift from judging Your love by my circumstances to trusting Your love by what You’ve already done for me through Jesus Christ in my eternal salvation. In Jesus' name, amen.

FINAL NOTE: If this isn't a challenging area for you, please don’t judge those who struggle with trusting God’s love. Pray for them. I do believe That God is ready and willing to meet anyone in the struggle. If they are willing, God will guide them out of confusion into the clarity and power of His love.

Let go of feeling like you are not a “good enough” Christian and find freedom in Christ by studying Paul’s letter to the Galatians in my Bible study, Breakthrough: Finding Freedom in Christ.

In this six-week Bible study of Galatians, you'll see that believers in the early church struggled to let go of rule-keeping and performance in order to embrace God’s free gift of grace.

If you’ve ever struggled with feeling like God is disappointed with you, wondered if He loves you or you've felt trapped by rules or religion, this study will provide a path to discover your freedom in Christ.

On Friday, I walked with a young wife and mom across a parking lot to our cars. I wore a black top, black pants and black heels on a very warm Ohio day. We’d attended a funeral at my church that morning for an amazing young 39 year-old husband and father named Cory Stevenson.

He’d passed away suddenly on May 24 and it feels odd to say this, but I was thankful that I was able to attend his services. I’d been in North Carolina last week, but returned home the night before his funeral. I’d known Cory since his early 20’s.

When he was 17, Cory underwent an important surgery addressed a congenital heart defect. He started attending our church as a teenager, brought his family to church, graduated from college, married Bethany and started their family. He'd lived a life of purpose, faith, fun and adventure before an aneuryism in his heart suddenly shortened his life.

Whenever we lose someone too soon, the questions and confusion hits deep. For sure, Cory is with Jesus. His family celebrates his eternal life, the grief is hard and confusing. We miss him. Cory was the kind of husband and father who raised the bar into the stratosphere for other men because of how much he loved and served his family.

While I’d love to share more of Cory’s life with you, let me return to my parking lot walk with that young mom and why I’m writing today. After the funeral she text her husband and said, “Honey, we don’t have enough pictures with each other.”

During the funeral, this wife and mom had an a-ha moment. She realized that if something happened and she passed away, her husband and kids wouldn’t have many photos of her because she was too busy taking photos but not appearing in them.  

Cory’s beloved wife, Bethany, seized every opportunity to capture photos of everyone in their family, including herself. When Bethany had to choose photos for Cory’s wake and funeral, she remarked that she had too many photos. Yet now, she’s grateful for every single photo of her life with Cory now that he’s gone.

Ladies, far too many of us are missing in family photos or we’re tucked way in the back with just our head showing. Women are like ninjas when it comes to avoiding photos or hiding themselves. You know that I’m telling the truth. Look through the photos on your phone if you doubt me. I hope that I’m wrong!

Dove reported that 56% of women untag themselves from photos because they don’t like how they look. Additionally, women are usually the ones organizing the photo situation to capture the moment so “I’m the one taking the photo” is an oft-used excuse that is fine now, but your family will pay for it later.

You aren’t going to live forever. Be intentional now about leaving behind memories. We don’t know how long our lives will last, but those photos of you will can be a part of your legacy for generations to come.  

For we are God’s masterpiece.

He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

-Ephesians 2:10 NLT

This is God’s truth about you, my friend. You are God’s magnificent creation. When He made you, God did a beautiful work. Your value as God’s masterpiece isn’t dependent your hair is done, your make-up or your current weight. As Rick Warren says, “You are here on this planet on purpose and for a purpose.”

Taking photos is the evidence that you leave behind as evidence your life as a Christ-follower. I love that Bethany has photos of Cory playing bass on our church’s worship team. Cory’s faith and love for Jesus inspired his kids. Before the funeral, Cory’s son, Colton, asked Bethany if he could sing a worship song at his dad’s funeral. I used up many tissues as he sang in honor of his dad. Whew.

What if you could shift your mindset on taking photos?

If taking photos is tough because you don’t like how you look, there’s 100% compassion here. You aren’t alone. But what if you can shift your perspective? 

What if you put yourself into photos that capture how you live and love like Jesus with your friends, co-workers, family and others? Preserve memories of you hugging, creating, kissing, baking, driving - all the things that you do as the hands and feet of Jesus so that after your life here is over, your loved ones will be overwhelmed by the photos memories of you loving them well.

This all gives me an idea. Ready?

Introducing the 100 Photo Challenge!

It’s summertime, my friend. Here’s your chance to capture 100 photos of YOU in the picture with family and friends this summer. You can also take photos of yourself living out your faith, like reading your Bible or praying. Take one photo a day and you’ll have 100 pictures by fall.

Friends, let love to see your photos! I’d love to feature your photo and story in a future Happy Monday weekly,  email me at barb@barbroose.com   My lovely assistant, Kayla will remind me to check in with you throughout the summer to make sure that you are intentional about this challenge. Who’s with me? Email me and say “I’m in!”

Let’s do this!

Years ago, I returned home from a two-week mission trip to a house overrun by fleas. It seemed that our dog, Quimby was a mobile hotel and taxi service for untold numbers of tiny, winged terrorists infesting our home.

But, I didn’t see the fleas at first. When my family mentioned that the dog might have fleas I shrugged it off.She’d had fleas before and we dealt with them pretty quickly. Besides, after two weeks in hot humid Central American weather, I figured that the fleas could wait until I’d had a shower and a good night’s sleep.

When I sat up in bed the next morning, I noticed something hop across my comforter. Upon closer inspection, I realized that it was a flea. There was a flea in the bed with me!

I hopped out of bed and tried to block all thoughts of how many fleas jumped on me overnight. I made myself stop thinking about how many may have crawled in my mouth. According to one urban myth, people may swallow up to eight spiders a year during their sleep (Note: This is not true, but I still try real hard to keep my mouth shut when I sleep).

Our fears in life are a lot like my dog’s fleas. Left unaddressed, our fears can quickly multiple and overtake our life. One fear about your health can quickly multiple into other fears about your finances, the future or other fears. There are times when we are going to be afraid and we don’t need to beat ourelves up. But, what we can’t do is let fear become an infestation in our hearts and minds. If you’ve been overwhelmed by fear, today’s post is for you. Even if you have just a few fears, keep reading. Just like one flea can quickly turn into hundreds, so can unchecked fear.

Do you know that the Bible has over 300 verses stating “do not fear” or “do not be afraid”? Why? I believe it’s because God knows that our broken, uncertain world is tough to live in. Emergencies will happen. Bad news will come. Questions will be unanswered. It’s natural to feel afraid at times, but God wants to remind us that we don’t have to LIVE in fear.

One of my favorite “do not fear” verses is Isaiah 41:10 NLT: "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

That’s good, isn’t it? Look at that verse. The reason that we don’t have to fear is because God is with us. What else does God say that He will do for us?

Here’s something to remember today: God is bigger than your biggest anxieties.

When God tells you not to be afraid, His character is the reason why. It is God’s faithfulness, His power, His love andHis strength that hold you secure in when everything is shaky around you. When we forget God or don’t believe that God is big enough, fear will show up and dig in.

In order to kill Quimby’s fleas, I had to find a weapon powerful enough to not just cripple, but kill those winged creatures. We can take the same approach to slaying our fear.

Are you ready for a practical tool to do this? I’ve shared it before and I’m going to do it again because it’s a tool that I still most many days of the week.

God-Morning/God-Night Technique

1. Take a notecard and write two or three “do not fear” verses on both cards.*
2. Put one card by your bed and tape one on your bathroom mirror.
3. Read read those verses first thing in the morning and read them again at night. You can also carry the card with you during the day.

Focus on God when fear creeps in. Let God win your worry battle! We can kill off fear and worry when we concentrate on God’s powerful Word!

Here are some verses that you can choose from: Deuteronomy 31:6, Joshua 1:9, Psalm 23:4, Psalm 56:3-4, John 14:27, Hebrews 13:6

JOIN THE CONVERSATION: What worries battles have you been fightng lately? Do you have a favorite "do not fear" verse that helps you to focus on God?

Have you ever tried to fight worry with faith and felt you were losing the battle?

Check out Barb’s Bible study, Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle. In this six-week study on the book of Joshua, you’ll learn how to fight in faith and scripture-based new tools to overcome your daily struggles and the bigger battles of fear that we all face!  (Leaders’ guide and teaching DVD available separately.)

I received an email from a mother who has a good relationship with one of her young adult kids, but is concerned about the decisions that this child is making.

The mom wrote that she’s completed my Surrendered Study and has learned how to let go of control-loving behaviors. Yet, she sees her child making unwise decisions that will likely have long-term consequences.

She gave me permission to share a portion of her email with you:

“It’s not easy letting go but after my initial “letting go” of (my child’s) situation in fall 2021, I DO know that God answers prayer and is faithful. I’m struggling more this time around to be honest. Should I completely let go, not say anything or is it reasonable to provide some counsel (we actually have a fairly tight connection) and direction?”

Even though you hear me talk a lot about surrender and letting go, there are times when tough conversations must happen, especially when you observe dangerous behavior or you’re watching someone’s life slide sideways. Unfortunately, direct confrontations are tricky. It’s easy for out-of-control emotions to erupt into accusations and demands that wound relationships. Fortunately, there’s another way.

Today, I want to introduce you to a tool that I introduced in my Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle Bible study called the “Carefrontation Sandwich.”

Renowned psychotherapist Dr. Harris Stratyner created the term “Carefrontation” as a treatment approach to help addicted individuals. Rather than direct confrontation, which can create defensiveness or shutdown, Dr. Stratyner advocates a Carefrontation approach which allows for a kinder, gentler road toward accountability and treatment.

Since I like food, the best way for me to think about a Carefrontation conversation is like a sandwich. Keep scrolling down and I’ll explain.

Here is a peek into how a Carefrontation might look. By the way, I’ve created a printable FREE RESOURCE that includes a full Carefrontation example written out for you on the second page.

Step 1: Slice of Love on Top

Affirm the person’s value and the relationship. Tell them how important they are to you and WHY they are important to you.

Step 2: Meat of concern

Briefly express your observations, not your opinion. Also, be very careful about expressing others’ observations. Let them speak up on their own behalf.

Step 3: Finish with Slice of Encouragement

Communicate goodwill and share hope for the future. Tell them how you want the best for them, for them to live in peace, experience God’s best and let them know that you are there if they want to talk about healthy (or God-honoring) options to make things better.

NOTES:

• This conversation should actually only be two or three minutes long. An extended Carefrontation increases the risk of losing the other person’s attention span or willingness to listen.

• IMPORTANT: Rehearse your Carefrontation before sharing it! Write it out if you suspect that you might ramble or get emotional. It’s okay to read it.

As Galatians 6:1 teaches that we can directly address each other if we notice sin or struggle. But, more than just words, Galatians 6 also teaches us how to confront with a God-honoring attitude and posture. Even though Galatians 6 is specifically addressed to believers, it can also be a helpful guide when talking with those who don’t follow Jesus.

Bringing up hard topics with someone you care about isn’t easy, but I hope that this tool equips you to have a hard and necessary conversation in a healthy, God-honoring way.

I’D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU: What’s tough about having these hard conversations with loved ones? What part of the Carefrontation Sandwich could be helpful for you? Hit “reply” and tell about it.

You Can Win Your Worry Battle!

Do you or someone that you know struggle with worry or anxiety? Research reports that the average person worries one hour per day. In fact, over 20% of adults struggle with anxiety disorders. So, if it's not you, then it's definitely people that you love.

He's not beating you up for struggling with worry. Instead, God wants to give you victory over your worry battle!

Join Barb for a six-week in-depth study on the book of Joshua where you'll explore powerful Biblical principles and learn practical tools that really work.