by Barb Roose | Mar 27, 2018 | Christian Living/Discipleship, Joshua & Winning the Worry Battle
By Barb Roose
For most of my adult life, I thought that being a worrier was a sign that I cared about others.
If I worried about someone that meant that I cared about their safety and happiness. So, I would devote my mental energy to identifying all of the ways that my family or friends might miss optimum happiness, hurt or kill themselves. It didn’t matter if they were thinking about trying a new hairstyle or daring to attend a college across the country, I was going to point out everything that could possibly go wrong so that they could avoid a tragedy.
But, what happens to us when we spend our time thinking about all of the things that could hurt, harm or kill the people in our lives? Eventually, our minds get stuck in that kind of worst-case scenario thinking. Did you know that 85% of what we’re afraid of happening never actually happens? So, when you’re churning all of the “what-if” scenarios about your daughter going on a missions’ trip or your son heading off to college, 85% of what you are stressing out about won’t happen.
Why do we believe that worrying is a symbol of caring for others?
If we worry about people because we care about them, then why does worry only produce negative feelings in us? I don’t know about you, but the more I allowed myself to worry, the more trapped I felt in a world of worry. Instead of feeling happiness for the people that I loved, I began to only feel fear, which opposes and tries to suffocate the power of love.
Here are three ways that worry makes us feel crazy:
1. Worry pretends to be productive.
When nothing changes, you feel crazy because you thought that by worrying you were actually doing something to make positive change happen.
2. Worry doesn’t have to work hard work to take over your mind.
Worry feels like your subscription to Netflix. It’s always available and once you begin streaming WorryFlix, you end up binge-worrying your entire life before you know it.
3. Worry produces horrible feelings that stress you out during the day and keep you up at night.
Isn’t it amazing how something in your mind makes your body respond in real ways? While you’re imagining the worst, your heart is racing and you feel real fear. Have you ever finished worrying and REAL tears were streaming down your face? And it was all in your imagination…
How worry made me feel crazy and out of control…
Seventeen years ago, my battle with worry peaked when one of my kids was struggling at school. Her teacher sent home notes and we had numerous meetings. I loved my sweet girl, but my fear over her future consumed me. Dozens of “what if” worst case scenarios drove me crazy! For weeks, I stressed out over my child’s health during the day and I paced the floor because I couldn’t sleep at night. Like Jesus said in Matthew 6:27, all of my worries didn’t add a single quality moment to my life or my child’s life.
So, what changed? I had to admit that worry was my flawed way of playing God instead of taking the time to pray to God.
Then, I had to replace those places in my mind where worry got good and comfortable with God’s Word. I had to commit myself to filling my brain with Bible verses that spoke against worry like this one:
Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.
—1 Peter 5:7
If you’ve always been a worrier, can I suggest that you either memorize this verse or type it into your cell phone. Whenever worry tries to take up space in your life, allow God to use this verse to kick that worry out of your mind and replace it with peace. Trust me, it does work! But, you’ve got to put the work into it!
Do I still worry at times? Yes! I’ll always have to fight against worry, but I don’t have to live as a worrier.
When you know how to use God’s Word to win against worry, you will wake up energized every day and excited about life because you know that God will give you victory over any worry that comes your way. Don’t waste another day of your life fighting a losing worry battle!
Don’t waste another day of your life fighting a losing worry battle!
LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW: Are you a worrier? What things do you worry about most?
About Barb Roose…
Barb loves reaching women and teaching them to win at life with God-empowered strength and dignity. She is the author of multiple books and Bible studies, including April 2018 releases, Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle (Bible study) and Winning the Worry Battle. She is the host of the Better Together Podcast and loves diving into tough topics that women want to know. Barb and her husband, Matt, are the parents of three daughters. Barb loves Jesus, travel, her FitBit, chocolate-peanut butter ice cream, and fabulous high heel shoes.
by Barb Roose | Mar 20, 2018 | Better Together Podcast, Uncategorized
“On what should have been the most beautiful day of my life, a switch flipped in my body?”
Have you or someone you know struggled with chronic pain? For 20 years, speaker and author, Melinda Means fought chronic pain and autoimmune disorders that she jokingly referred as the “gift that keeps on giving.”
Melinda is the author of the book, Invisible Wounds: Hope While You are Hurting. As we talked today, she reflects on the years of constant doctors appointments, diseases, and treatments, she felt like the woman in New Testament who struggled with uncontrolled bleeding for 12 years (Mark 5).
Raging within, Melinda’s suffering body was a spiritual wound that spread deep and wide. “I didn’t understand how God could love me and still let me suffer. I know that my earthly father would have healed me from my debilitating pain if he could. So, if my earthly father would heal me because beloved me, then why wouldn’t my heavenly father heal me?”
During my conversation with Melinda, we talk with great candor about the difficult questions that we ask God when we’re in physical, emotional, or spiritual pain. If you’ve ever grappled with questions like why God hasn’t taken away your pain or why your prayers for healing have gone unanswered, then today’s podcast conversation is for you.
What you’ll hear in this week’s podcast:
- The story of Melinda’s 20-year struggle with chronic pain and spiritual struggle with her faith;
- What happened when Melinda prayed a radical prayer in the midst of her pain;
- The ONE thing that you can do if you are in the midst of a physical/spiritual struggle;
- A beautiful new gift God bestowed on Melinda that you can enjoy and download for yourself!
PODCAST EPISODE RESOURCES:
Melinda’s website | Melinda’s book | Melinda’s Facebook page
Finding Joy Ladies Night Out Tickets on iTickets
SHARE YOUR STORY: Are you dealing with something in your life that God hasn’t healed yet? Maybe it’s a chronic illness, a broken relationship, or an unfilled longing that keeps breaking your heart. Share your story in the comments below and bring home to another person who is listening today.
by Barb Roose | Mar 7, 2018 | Better Together Podcast
“They took me into the counseling room. The doctor gently told me that they tried everything that they could, but they were not able to revive my husband. So, I went home to do the hardest thing that I ever had to do.”
Lisa Appelo’s life changed forever in just one night.
On this new episode of Better Together podcast, I have a heartbreaking, yet hope–filled conversation with writer and speaker, Lisa Appelo. She’s a Florida native and a homeschooling mom to seven kids, now aged 27 to 10.
During our interview, Lisa tells us about the night in summer 2011 when she woke up in the middle of the night and realized that her 47-year old husband Dan was having a heart attack. After the paramedics took her husband to the hospital, Lisa went upstairs and noticed her kids huddled together with their arms around each other.
Not only did Lisa face the devastating loss of her high-school sweetheart husband, but the reality of being alone and a single mom to seven kids from college-aged down to just four years old.
In the difficult months that followed, Lisa remembers the powerful presence of friends and prayer holding her family up.
“I do remember thinking and knowing that we were being carried by prayer.”
Yet, as you listen to our interview, you’ll hear the incredible hope that Lisa share about the blessings and abundance of God. She talks about the pain of walking with her kids through the loss of their dad and the practical ways that she helped her kids open up and talk about their fears and loss.
During this episode, Lisa encourages us to remember:
- Grief comes in many forms and we don’t get over it, but we do learn to “live where we are”;
- We learn to live with the love, but without the person;
- God has as much abundance planned for us AFTER our loss as before our loss.
SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCE IN THE COMMENTS BELOW: Is there a place in your life affected by grief? Have you lost a loved one, a dream, or a relationship? How are you dealing with your grief and what resources do you find most helpful in the grieving process?
CONNECT WITH LISA:
Lisa’ website | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook
100 Days with Christ Bible Study Journal and Reading Plan
FIND OUT MORE ABOUT FINDING JOY LADIES NIGHT OUT EVENT! Click here for more details!
by Barb Roose | Jan 24, 2018 | Better Together Podcast, Women's Topics
I grew up in a family of fabulous singers. But, I am not one of them…
My grandmother traveled with a gospel choir and played as the church pianist for at least 20 years. I grew up watching my mom and aunts sing, too. Their voices are powerful, beautiful and amazing.. They can blow! If we’re friends on social media, you’ve seen photos of my sister, Tonya, who is an opera singer. Watching to her perform always bring a smile to my face that lasts far after her performance is over.
You might be wondering if I can sing. The answer is…meh.
If you happen to pull your car up next to mine in traffic, I guarantee that I’m singing in the car. I am an awesome car singer. The acoustics are wonderful for my marginal vocal ability. If I turn up the radio high enough, I sound exactly like the vocalists in the song. If I turn off the radio and keep singing, just be happy that my windows are up.
In my 20’s I struggled with my less-than-super singing. Since I was from a singing family, having an okay singing voice wasn’t good enough when everyone around me sounded so great.
To increase my confidence, I took voice lessons in my mid-20’s. I felt better when I sang on my ensemble church worship team. But as soon as I had to sing on my own, my confidence faltered and my voice always fell flat. I often wanted to run off the stage and hide. Oh, how I used to beat myself up! Why couldn’t I keep my confidence?
Do you ever struggle with your confidence?
I love it when women tell me their dreams. Some women desire certain job or career title. I get frequent emails from women who want to write or speak. Having a dream is a good thing! But, what do you do when you dream is undermined by your lack of confidence? Some of us have a Debbie Downer living in the dirty corner of our mind telling us things like:
“You don’t belong…”
“She’s more talented than you…”
“Why do you think that you’re special…”
“If you fail, everyone will laugh…”
Six Words to Say to Yourself
Yesterday, I finished Lynn Cowell’s new Bible study, Make Your Move: Finding Unshakeable Confidence Despite Your Fears and Failures. Lynn is a speaker and author who writes and speaks to equip mothers with wisdom so that those mamas can raise wiser daughters. Her six-week Bible study featured weekly profiles of six groups of women in the Bible and lessons in Christ-Courage and confidence, like Shiprah and Puah, the two Hebrew women who refused to follow the Pharoah’s order to kill infants like Moses.
One of my favorite moments was studying Deborah, one of Israel’s judges. Not only was she assigned to be God’s spokesperson to Israel, but she’d received a gigantic assignment: to instruct the Israelites during battle. Just to be clear, Deborah was a judge, not a warrior. But, she went because that is what God called her to do.
As I studied her story a few weeks ago, I was pushing to finish my new book, Winning the Worry Battle. It’s been a tough few months writing back-to-back projects, losing my dad, traveling and then moving through the editing process. For the first few weeks of January, I felt like I was fisting-fighting the Debbie Downer in my mind because I was mentally worn out from the past few months of life. What if you flake out and don’t finish? What if your writing isn’t any good? What if no one buys it?
But, as I studied Deborah, she speaks six words that immediately refilled my soul.
In Judges 5, Deborah and Barak sing a song of victory after winning the battle. As they sing over defeating their enemies, Deborah slips in six powerful words. They are tucked into verse 21:
The Kishon River swept them away—
that ancient torrent, the Kishon.
March on with courage, my soul!.
– Judges 5:21
Did you see those precious words: “March on with courage, my soul!”?
I’ve read, remembered and breathed those words at least a hundred times in the past three weeks. There’s are two powerful lessons for us to remember when we’re under pressure and questioning whether we can actually do what God’s called us to do.
First, Deborah knew how to encourage herself when she needed it. Her encouragement fueled her confidence.
Second, if we trust and know what God has called us to do, let’s stop undermining our confidence while we’re doing it.
How can you encourage yourself today?
- Do I even need to say this? Stop calling yourself names like stupid, idiot, worthless or loser! Those names are not helpful and they will hurt your confidence. As I wrote in my Enough Already book, “Beating yourself up won’t change a thing!”
- Learn how to become a rock star at encouraging yourself. Encouraging yourself is not prideful! The Bible is filled with proclamations of God’s everlasting love for us. Even when we mess up, God loves us. Whispering phrases like, “I made a mistake, but I’m not a mistake,” “I can keep going because God will help me” and “I am not alone, God is with me” – these are how we keep our confidence. Can you start saying these phrases to yourself?
So, how does my story end?
After a few years of constant confidence struggles, I finally stopped singing. I’d taken a temporary break to give birth to my now 17-year daughter. By the time I was ready to begin serving at church again, the music team had re-organized and I found a new ministry where God began to lay the foundation for the work that He’s given me to do today.
Once I began following my natural gifts and talents, I found peace. Not only that, but I could learn and grow with so much freedom. Confidence came from being who God called me to be! I love Lynn’s words in the study. She writes, “We each have different gifts, talents and callings. I am simply a woman doing the assignments God gives to me.
Whatever God has called you to do in this season of life matters, my friend. You don’t need to compare yourself to what the women around you are doing because you’ve got your own amazing work to do. Whether you’re raising your children, working your 9-5 or caring for your parents, confidence comes from knowing that you’re doing the best at what God calls you to do.
Creating a conversation around Christ-confidence is such a vital discussion. Check out Lynn’s Bible study by clicking here. You can also listen to my recent podcast with Lynn by clicking the audio player below:
SHARE YOUR STORY: What are some of the lessons that you’ve learned about being a confident woman?
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by Barb Roose | Jan 1, 2018 | Women's Topics
Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! -Isaiah 30:18
Every new year, we say out with the old in with the new. But, what do you do when the old problems or struggles follow you into New Year?
I’m spending New Year’s in El Paso Texas with my oldest daughter. If you’ve been following me on social media, my daughter and I made two 1600 #roadtrips with her two puppies in the backseat before and after Christmas. We survived.
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Yesterday, my daughter had a 24-hour shift at work, so I’ve been on puppy duty. As I walked the dogs toward a neighborhood park, I talked to God about the last 365 days of my life. I gave thanks for so many things: a loving family, supportive friends, good health, financial provision and many wonderful ministry opportunities. And I also plead with God about getting rid of an old unresolved heartache that I didn’t want to follow me into the new year. God, I’ve dealt with this for so long. Do I have to deal with this next year? Any chance you can make this go away by midnight?
What old situation has followed you into a new year?
While this isn’t the place for me to go into details, perhaps you can relate to how I describe the pain. It feels like a 1000-pound weight sits on your heart and cracks it all little each day. On bad days, I feel my heartbeat thumping in my chest and it hurts. This is the pain of being human and living in a fallen world. At this stage in my life, I can only bear to share this pain with the most trustworthy of friends and gratefully, an understanding Christian counselor.
God, my heart hurts…
This morning, God showed me that He heard my prayer on yesterday’s walk. One of the verses in my Bible study today was Isaiah 30:18: “Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!”
God used this verse today to remind me of His heart toward me. The first day of this new year is a part of God’s gracefulness to me and you. Every time we say goodbye to a loved one, we are reminded of the preciousness of life. You’ve made it into the new year! No matter how much you don’t like what’s carried over from the old year, you’ve made it into the new one – and not everyone can say that!
Every day from God is a gift that we don’t deserve. Additionally, God longs to pour His graciousness into every deep crack in our heart and fill in those broken fissures with Himself. That’s actually the visual that I use when I’m praying through difficult days: God, my heart is broken right now. Please come and fill in those broken places with Yourself.” Just like the Kintsugi artists use liquid gold to fuse together broken pottery, God’s grace is that He infuses Himself into our heartache.
The last part of that verse say “Blessed are all who wait for him.” What does it mean to wait for God? Before my daughter takes her puppies outside, she makes them sit before snapping on their leashes. Then she says the word, “wait.” Both puppies must to sit until she gives them the command to move forward. While they are waiting, the dogs’ eyes are fixed on her face. Now, when I told them that it was time to sit, the results were pretty spotty. Those puppies love my daughter. I’m just the random lady who took them on a few walks.
The word wait in Isaiah 30:18 means to long for. When the puppies hear the word “wait,” they fix their focus on my daughter and sit until she tells them to move. For us, waiting is focus on an unknown period of time, but spiritually, our waiting should be a fixating on a Person.
Why is this important? When we’re waiting on something that isn’t happening, our hearts get weighed down and discouraged (Proverbs 13:12). But, when we’re fixated on God, we actually get stronger and can accomplish more (Isaiah 40:31)
Are you currently weighted down by the old situation that has followed you into the new year OR are you waiting on God and enjoying the blessing of His grace and compassion?
Might I offer two next steps if you’re dealing with an old situation in this new year?
First, start with talking to God and surrender the heavy weight of your old situation over to Him. 1 Peter 5:7 tells us to give all of our worries and cares to God because He cares about us. One of my favorite movie lines is “Get off the cross, honey. Somebody needs the wood.”
“God, it’s a new year, but I don’t want to carry the pain around of this situation anymore. If it isn’t your timing to remove this hardship from my life, then God, I’m asking you to renew my heart and filling in the broken places with yourself.”
Second, increase your longing for God to keeping your eyes focused on him. Corrie ten Boom once said, “If you look at the world, you’ll be distressed. If you look within, you’ll be depressed. If you look at God you’ll be at rest.”
One suggestion is to sign-up for resources like ReFocus App, My First 5, YouVersion or livingitout.tv that will deliver a devotional or verse of the day directly to you. But, don’t just sign up and think something will change. Set aside 15 minutes per day to read and reflect. The more you fix your heart and mind on God, the more you’ll focus on Him – and the more blessed you will be.
That’s what happened to me today. As I spent time in my Bible study and writing this post, God has truly blessed me today. Even as my old situation follows me into a new year, I’m going to be like my daughter’s puppies and keep my eyes focused on God as I wait on Him.
SHARE WITH US: Is there an old situation that you are dealing with in the new year? How has reading this post and Isaiah 30:18 encouraged you? Leave your comments below.
