Living the Empty Nest Life | Interview With Jill Savage

Living the Empty Nest Life | Interview With Jill Savage

Is the empty nest on the horizon?

Are you trying to figure out how to let go or figure out who you are now that the kids are grown?

If so, you're in the right place!

Welcome to a new season of the Better Together Podcast where we find the hope, the help, as well as practical next steps so that we can all get better together!

To kick of off our new season, I'm talking with my friend, Jill Savage about the empty nest season of life. This year, my last child moved out of the house and after nearly 27 years of raising children, I loved this conversation with my wise and fun friend!

Jill is the author of the new book, Empty Nest, Full Life: Discovering God's Best for Your Next (August 2019). In today's episode, Jill shares the follow with us:

  • Wisdom:  Jill tells us what empty nest moms need to let go of and what to hold on to.
  • Encouragement: Are you struggling with tough situations and feeling discouraged? Jill talks about how she navigates parenting adult children dealing with mental illness, homosexuality, and children far from God.
  • Finally, Jill shares relationship-saving practical ideas to keep your relationship with your kids even when they're making decisions you don't agree with.
  • GET AWAY! Listen for details on Jill's Empty Nest Mom Retreat on October 25-27, 2019 at the Chaira Retreat Center. You totally want to check more details out at www.emptynestbook.com.

CONNECT WITH JILL!

You can find Jill online at www.jillsavage.org and www.NoMorePerfect.com.

About today's guest...

Jill Savage is an author, speaker, and coach who is passionate about encouraging and empowering others. A graduate of Butler University in Indianapolis, IN, and founder of Hearts at Home, a ministry that has served moms for 24 years. Jill now travels the world as an author and speaker. Called one of today's most exciting Christian female speakers, Jill's honest, engaging communication is strengthened by her ability to make her audience laugh while they learn.

Founder of the online Inspire Speaker Course, Jill is the author of seven books and the co-author of five including the bestselling No More Perfect Moms, No More Perfect Kids, No More Perfect Marriages, and her newest release Empty Nest, Full Life. She and her husband Mark have five children, four grandchildren, and a whole herd of barn cats.

About your Better Together podcast host...

Barb Roose a popular speaker and author who is passionate about equipping women to win at life with Christ-empowered strength and dignity. Barb loves speaking at women's conference and leadership events such as the Aspire Women's Events, She Speaks Conference, and the UMC Leadership Institute.

Barb is the author of multiple books and Bible studies, including her newest release: I'm Waiting God: Finding Blessing in God's Delay Bible Study, Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle Bible study and Winning the Worry Battle book.  Barb's writing has been featured in magazines or blogs such as Simple Truth Magazine, iBelieve.com, Crosswalk.com, More to Life Magazine, Just Between Us Magazine, Cherished, InCourage, and Women of Faith.

Barb lives in NW Ohio. She's the proud mother of three adult daughters. Her perfect day includes a long walk, reading a book, and enjoying a big bowl of chocolate peanut butter ice cream.  Visit Barb's online home at barbroose.com.

 

Check out this episode!

The Group Hug that Healed My Heart

The Group Hug that Healed My Heart

I finally got all my feelings back under control that I could share this story...

Yesterday - for the first time ever, I taught at Cedar Creek Church Fusion Camp. My girls attended or led at camp every year for the last 15 years and they didn’t want mom hanging out during the best week of their year. That’s cool. 

This year was my time! So yesterday, I spoke to 400+ kids and gave a message that I couldn’t have given before this year: How to live in peace when our families are fighting or falls apart. 

Those kids heard more of my heart than any other talk I’ve ever given. I only shared a bit of my story, but as a mom, I hate that over 50% of the kids in that room knew the realities of a fallen apart family. Fusion Camp gave those kids a precious week to escape from fighting parents, custody issues, addicted family, parents getting divorced, parent abandonment, and so much more. I was so grateful to be there and talk about life from someone who sat in the bleachers with them. As adults, we forget what we’re putting our kids through because we’re barely able to deal with our own stuff. 

Yesterday, I realized that everything I’ve been through was worth it for a chance to share hope and some solid practical tools to equip kids against feeling hopeless or discouraged like “Minding your own hoola-hoop” and “QTIP - Quit Taking It Personally”

Afterward, Communications Director Eric Williams, drove me over to the lunch area. This is where the photo comes in - here's a group of sweet girls from Whitehouse Campus we’re doing their group discussion time. Those beautiful girls asked if I would take a picture. So we did. 

Then, they asked if they could give me a hug. Each one of those precious girls gave me a hug. Some twice!

Since my girls are grown up and now gone, it’s been awhile since this mama has had a girl hug. 

So God sent me a whole bunch of them!

Eric captured this picture, right before  a whole lot of tears began to fall. After each of them gave me a hug, someone yelled “Group hug!” (While we were doing the group hug, someone else yelled “Smells like hot dogs up in here.”)

For whatever I might have done yesterday, I drove away feeling like I’d been given 10,000x more in return. 

It might have taken 15 years to be a part of it, but it was totally worth the wait. 

5 Ways to Freshen Your Heart and Home | Interview with Tracy Steel

5 Ways to Freshen Your Heart and Home | Interview with Tracy Steel

 

What makes your home beautiful is YOU!

-Tracy Steel

Do you love design shows like "Fixer Upper" or anything else on HGTV? Most of us would love for Joanna Gaines or the Property Brothers to stop by and give our homes a fresh look! However, I'm talking with my friend and fabulous interior designer, Tracy Steel about how you can freshen up your heart and your home this summer.

Make sure to check out the photos of Tracy's beautiful home on the blog page. Not only is she a military wife, mother of two, and a talented designer, but Tracy just graduated from Phoenix Seminary with a Master's Degree in Biblical and Theological Studies in May 2019. She loves teaching God's Word and equipping people to fully embrace the space they're living in.

In today's Better Together podcast, Tracy shares five ways to freshen your heart and home by combining wisdom from God's Word with practical design advice:

  1. Look up (ceilings/Colossians 3:1-4)
  2. Clean up (declutter/Colossians 3:5-8)
  3. Brighten/Change up: (re-polish/repaint/refurbish walls/doors, change out accessories/Colossians 3:12-14)
  4. Hang up: (picture wall/ Colossians 3:15)
  5. Open up (doors/windows/Colossians 3:16)

Tracy's new book, A Redesigned Life: Uncovering God's Purpose When Life Doesn't Go As Planned releases this August 2019. Listen to the podcast to learn more about some of the free and fun giveaways Tracy will offer – like a FREE design consult!

CONNECT WITH TRACY STEEL  Website |  Facebook  |  Instagram  | Twitter

 

 

 

 

 

 

About Today's Guest Tracy Steel...

Tracy Steel graduated from Kansas State University with a BS in Interior Design in 1998. Eager to change her clients' lives by improving the interior space they occupied, she thought she had the blueprints for her future completed. In the midst of designing corporate spaces and sorting through fabric samples, Tracy fell in love with Jesus Christ and He changed everything. Since 2001 Tracy has been involved in youth and women's ministry and served as the Director of Female Students from Scottsdale Bible Church from 2005–2007. In May 2019, Tracy graduated from Phoenix Seminary with a Master's Degree in Biblical and Theological studies, and is the author of Images of His Beauty and A Redesigned Life. But Tracy is most proud of her military man and of her two spirited kiddos that call her mama. To learn more about Tracy, please visit tracymsteel.com

About your Better Together Host...

Barb Roose is a popular speaker and author who is passionate about equipping women to win at life with Christ-empowered strength and dignity. Barb loves speaking at women's conference and leadership events such as the Aspire Women's Events, She Speaks Conference and the UMC Leadership Institute.

Barb is the author of multiple books and Bible studies, including her newest releases: Winning the Worry Battle: Life Lessons from the Book of Joshua and Bible study called Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle. Barb's writing has been featured in magazines or blogs such as Simple Truth Magazine, iBelieve.com, Crosswalk.com, More to Life Magazine, Just Between Us Magazine, Cherished, InCourage and Women of Faith.

An avid traveler, reader, and lover of all things chocolate-peanut butter, Barb lives in NW Ohio and she is the proud mother of three adult daughters. Visit Barb's online home at barbroose.com.

 

Check out this episode!

How to Stay Connected to Your Faith in the Summertime

How to Stay Connected to Your Faith in the Summertime

When I first joined the staff team at my local church, I noticed a sizable drop in attendance at the beginning of summer. It was like the sun came out and captured one-third of our crowd over to the beach or some distance campground. Where’d everybody go? Over the years, I learned to take the summer drop off in stride. In fact, my boss and founding senior pastor used to say – in a non-critical voice -  “It summer so people worship the SUN versus worshiping the SON. 

Now, if you’re in a groove in life when summer time means every weekend at your cottage, multiple vacations, long road trips with your family, there’s no criticism here. BUT, you know that all of that summer fun does create an uncomfortable yuckiness in your spirit. As much as you love hanging out with family and making memories, your spirit feels the disconnection from your church family as well as the hit-n-miss feeding of your soul with God’s Word. 

So, how can you say “yes” to all that summer has to offer without sacrificing your connection to your church or relationship with God?  

I’ve got a few suggestions for you. Don’t look at these suggestions as a to-do list, rather a place for you to start praying for what God gives you the conviction to do. 

  • Join Bible Café on Facebook – If you aren’t going to check your emails to read your daily devotionals, then your best intentions will become your worst nightmare. BUT, chances are that you’ll be on Facebook, so Bible Café is a great place for you to be encouraged along with tens of thousands of other women. You can be a part of book clubs and online summer Bible studies.  Click here to find out more.  
  • First5App –First5 is hosted by Proverbs31 and I have a number of friends who write daily devotionals for them. This content is pushed to you on your device so you don’t need to forget, if you set up your notifications properly, they will make sure that you see the content. (But you still have to actually read it…) 
  • Pool Bible Study – For several years when my kids were school-age, I loved doing summer Bible study with ladies around a friend’s pond. Our kids were old enough to swim and they had fun in the sun while we did our study. To stretch out time, we’d pack lunches and snacks for the kids so they could keep themselves occupied for as long as possible. 
  • Invite friends for BBQ worship night – If you’ve got other believers at your campground, then invite folks over for dinner and include 30 minutes of worship music and ask someone to read a devotional. You can play music off Spotify or Pandora. Again, no one needs to teach or preach, but a devotional with a few follow-up questions can make for a beautiful God-honoring evening.  
  • KEEP GIVING! I know this might sound odd, but when you continue to give your tithe and/or offering while you are on the road, this keeps your heart connected to God. Jesus taught that where our treasure is, our hearts will be also. Giving is about recognizing God’s favor in our lives and the fact that we can go on vacation is proof that God has blessed us. Keep giving to God while you are away and you’ll lessen the likelihood that God will feel far away. 

 

So, those are some ideas for you. What ideas work for you? Join the conversation here and leave a comment!

Five Summer Organizing Tips for Moms | Interview with Katie M. Reid

Five Summer Organizing Tips for Moms | Interview with Katie M. Reid

Katie is a national speaker, singer/songwriter, and author of Made Like Martha: Good News for the Woman Who Gets Things Done.  She has been published on sites like: Focus on the Family, TODAY's Parenting Team Blog, Crosswalk, Proverbs 31, and HuffPost.  

 

"MOM! What are we going to today?"

It's summertime, mamas! Either your kids are out of school for the summer or you're counting down the days, summertime is a HUGE change for a family schedule.

If you want to have a great summer with your kids without losing your mind, join me for my conversation today with speaker, author and mom of five, Katie M. Reid. 

On today's Better Together podcast, Katie shares five fabulous tips for you can set your family up for success this summer. 

During today's conversation, Katie shares the following five ideas:

1. Choose a landing spot in the house for summertime gear

2. Create a family summer activity list

3. Give everyone a morning chore

4. Stick with summer meals

5. Participate in a family reading challenge

To help moms kick the summer off right, Katie has recently launched a new video series titled, "Stress Less, Smile More" that you can find out more about by clicking here.

CONNECT WITH KATIE     Website  |   Facebook  |  Instagram  | Twitter  |  Pinterest

 

About your Better Together Podcast host...

Barb Roose is a popular speaker and author who is passionate about equipping women to win at life with Christ-empowered strength and dignity. Barb loves speaking at women's conference and leadership events such as the Aspire Women's Events, She Speaks Conference and the UMC Leadership Institute.

Barb is the author of multiple books and Bible studies, including her newest releases: Winning the Worry Battle: Life Lessons from the Book of Joshua and Bible study called Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle. Barb's writing has been featured in magazines or blogs such as Simple Truth Magazine, iBelieve.com, Crosswalk.com, More to Life Magazine, Just Between Us Magazine, Cherished, InCourage and Women of Faith.

An avid traveler, reader, and lover of all things chocolate-peanut butter, Barb and her family live in NW Ohio. Visit Barb's online home at barbroose.com.

 

Check out this episode!

My Father-in-Law’s Final Service At Arlington National Cemetery

My Father-in-Law’s Final Service At Arlington National Cemetery

 

Last Thursday, I stood with family members as my father-in-law, Brent Roose was interred at Arlington National Cemetery just outside of Washington, DC.

If you’ve ever visited the final resting place of our nation’s bravest warriors, you know that words cannot capture what it’s like when your eyes sweep across the vast landscape of beauty and sacrifice. Tens of thousands of uniform, white tombstones stand sentry as individual memorials over the bodies of our bravest, most valiant warriors. Without a doubt, those rolling hills stretch across acres of hallowed ground. 

 

This is the entrance to Arlington National Cemetery. My sister works on Pennsylvania Avenue near the White House so I commuted into downtown DC with her and I took metro train to the cemetery in about 15 minutes.

 

While Brent passed away suddenly on July 19, 2018, we had a funeral in his hometown. However, we've known for decades that he would be buried at Arlington after his valor displayed while in combat during Vietnam. However, it takes 6-8 months after death for a burial service at Arlington due to high numbers of veterans passing away these days.  Brent's service took place on May 16 and his ceremony was one of over 20 on that day.

I appreciated the tender care and respect that the army staff demonstrated in every aspect of the ceremony. From the soldiers who escorted my father-in-laws remains, to the army chaplain who spoke about Brent's life and service, to the breathtaking beauty of hearing the rifle salute and taps played in Brent's honor. Tears streamed down as our hearts soared with pride.

 

It was a beautiful, solemn day for my father-in-law's burial service.

 

I've been to Arlington many times before, as a kid and as an adult. As the mother of a military officer currently on deployment in the Middle East, Arlington felt a little more personal to me this time.  I don’t just see the tombstones, but I also see the shadows of mothers and fathers sitting in chairs with their palms up to receive the flag that draped the casket of their loved one. I see families huddled together around tombstones or standing solemn during a gun salute, their faces a mixture of grief and pride.  

My father-in-law never said much about his tour in Vietnam. What he left unsaid spoke volumes. But he was proud of his service. Brent had a tremendous impact on my oldest daughter choosing to attend the United States Military Academy. He was bursting with pride her junior year when she branched to Air Defense, which was a close cousin to the branch where he served in Field Artillery. And there wasn't a dry eye in our family when Brent pinned Kate's 2nd Lieutenant bar on during her commissioning ceremony on graduation day.

 

This soldier is carrying the US flag that would be presented to my brother-in-law who was representing the Roose family.

 

Memorial Day Weekend is upon us. This year, the memories of what I’ve seen and felt the past few days will be fresh on my heart. The understanding that one person’s sacrifice can bring freedom to countless others is an explanation for why the United States is the home of the free and the land of the brave, but this concept is an echo of the gospel that Jesus’ sacrifice brings us freedom. 

I invite you to join me in considering the gift of freedom - not just the price paid for it, but also the need to never take it for granted or the importance of championing freedom for all.

On this Memorial Day weekend, perhaps you can...

  • Visit family members who’ve served, whether they are living or are in a cemetery.
  • If they are living, ask them to share their most memorable moments. Just listen to their stories of how they served to protect your freedom – even if they were stateside filling out paperwork in an air-conditioned office. Every sacrifice matters! 
  • If they’ve passed away, take a moment to plant a flag and stand in silence to honor them.  
  • Look around your communities and pay attention to where people are not experiencing the kind of freedom that you enjoy.
  • There are a lot of people who do not feel the same kind of freedom that you may feel. Don’t be afraid to ask them to share their stories so that you can learn more.

Most importantly…reflect on what Jesus did for your freedom.  He didn’t just die for you to go to heaven, but His death and resurrection brings freedom to your life every single day! Walk in freedom, my friends. Throw off the bondage of unforgiveness, bitterness, scarcity, pride, and selfishness. Freedom came at great cost to Christ for you, so honor Him by living in freedom today.

When Comfort Food Calls

When Comfort Food Calls

It took a lot of years for me to finally realize that cookies and chip dip weren’t to blame for the extra weight around my middle. Food wasn’t the culprit, but my unmanaged feelings were. 

Whether I was anxious about my children’s safety, overwhelmed by my non-stop schedule, or feeling lonely because I lacked meaningful friends, those feelings collided, creating a deep, aching pit in my middle. I often felt empty inside and at times, nauseous. It was an awful feeling that I wanted to make go away as much as possible. My solution? Food. More specifically, I tried to soothe my uncomfortable feelings with comfort food. However, that hole in my heart and soul was like a bottomless pit so no amount of ice cream, pizza, or any other food could satisfy the emptiness within.  

Not only did Jesus come to earth to show us what God was like, but He faced the full slate of human experiences that we struggle with today. In fact, Jesus provides a path to freedom for us when the emptiness inside screams for us to raid the refrigerator. 

In Matthew 4, Jesus faced off against Satan after 40 days and 40 nights of fasting. According to our Western-eating patterns, that Jesus meant that fasted from 120 meals. Even as Jesus was fully God, He would have experienced the same kind of emotional or spiritual stress that pushes us into our kitchen pantries for a salty-this or creamy-that to soothe our hearts and minds. 

When Satan shows up to tempt Jesus up in the wilderness, the very first tool of temptation he presented was a loaf of bread. In my imagination, I see Satan holding a platter of hot, yeasty bread under Jesus’ noses. As the melted butter drips from the side of the dish, Satan tempts Jesus to turn the stones around Him into loaves of bread. Satan wanted Jesus to use His divine nature to satisfy His human desires. However, Jesus surrenders His human desire to His divine nature.  

In the face of tremendous stress, this is how Jesus responded to Satan’s challenge: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'”  

Even as Jesus experienced tremendous physical hunger, He recognized the greater spiritual need in His life, which was total dependence on God. There’s nothing wrong with food or enjoying food. However, we will starve spiritually if we expect food to satisfy our need for peace, love, hope, forgiveness, or healing. Only God can satisfy those deep needs! 

Here’s a practical tip that you can use to help you test whether or not you’re attempting to use food to satisfy a spiritual need: Write out Matthew 4:4 on a notecard or post-it note and tape it to your favorite comfort food. The next time you reach for it, take a moment and evaluate whether or not you are truly hungry or if you need to put down the food and ask God to satisfy the spiritual hunger within. 

 

PRAYER: God, only you can satisfy the deepest needs in my life. Help me to identify the deep hunger within and to bring those deep needs to you. In Jesus’ name, Amen. 

Do you struggle with what you see in the mirror? Have you ever called yourself “fat” or “ugly”?Beautiful Already is a six-week, in-depth Bible study equipping you with God’s truth about inner and outer beauty. Here’s what one study participant said: “I have facilitated this wonderful study for 4 groups of women, and it is LIFE CHANGING! Great for all ages of women including teen girls!” –Tonya, Amazon Reviewer 

Five Lies that Single Women Believe | Interview with Kaywanda Lamb

Five Lies that Single Women Believe | Interview with Kaywanda Lamb

"Single women, we must refute ALL the lies that we've started to believe."

I had a sensational conversation with speaker, author, and single parent coach, Kaywanda Lamb. We met last fall while speaking at a conference in Louisiana. Within seconds of meeting Kaywanda, I knew that I'd made a new friend. She's beautiful, brilliant, authentic, and deeply wise.

A high school Spanish teacher by day, Kaywanda has raised two handsome sons on her own. She began coaching single parents while her boys were young and to support her family, Kaywanda returned to school to advance her education and obtain a Masters in Spanish.

During our conversation today, Kaywanda is going to speak right to heart of single women who are searching, wondering, and maybe afraid that they'll never find a wonderful man who'll love and cherish them. In fact, Kaywanda shares five lies that women often believe. Here they are:

Lie #1. "I don't think that anyone will ever want me."

Lie #2. "I feel like married women have it better than single women."

Lie #3. "I'll never get married because I'm too old."

Lie #4. "A guy isn't going to want me because I've been single too long."

Lie #5. "Because I have kids, no one will want to marry me."

If you are or have believed any of these lies, you MUST listen to this episode because Kaywanda walks you through these lies with God's truth and practical advice to help you walk in freedom!

In this episode, there is so much encouragement to single women who are feeling down and rejected because they are alone. Here's some of the encouragement that Kaywanda shares:

  • You have to live like what you have is enough right now;
  • You are worthy;
  • You have everything you need right now because God loves you and He is looking out for you.

CONNECT WITH KAYWANDA  Website  |  Facebook  | Instagram

Kaywanda Lamb is an author, speaker, blogger, soon to be podcaster, and The Winning Single Mom. Her journey to being a sought out speaker, encourager to single moms everywhere, and a transformational business coach began when her boys were just 2 years old and 2 months. Kaywanda had a choice to make: to stay in a relationship that didn't honor her or to raise her boys as a single mom. She decided to #doitanyway and has spent the last 16 years showing other women they too, can parent, thrive, and win. She returned to college 4 times in that span, holds a Masters in Spanish Literature, runs 3 businesses, and is a certified principal. Her motto is "do it anyway!" because you can dream about it or you can be about it. Check out her website for upcoming events and coaching information.

 

Check out this episode!

More for Mom | Interview with Kristin Funston

More for Mom | Interview with Kristin Funston

Are you a mom who is constantly giving? Giving your time, energy, and emotions to your kids, spouse, your job, and your community? 

This episode of the Better Together podcast is for all the moms out there who feel like they are alone in the jungle of managing kids, homes, unrealistic expectations, and the pressure to be all things to all people. Motherhood is no joke - and it ain't for wimps!

I remember going almost 13 years without a FULL NIGHT'S SLEEP. I was a zombie y'all. There were the times when I was so distracted that I forgot to send in a form...or forgot to pick up a kid after school. I beat myself up endlessly over the times when I lost my temper or I chose to run errands instead of sit down and read a book with my kids.  

After all of the ups and downs of motherhood, do you want to know the best lesson that I've learned? It's actually something that I repeat to myself many days of the week - and I hope that you might do the same. Here it is: "Barb, be kind to yourself. You're doing the best that you can." 

You are doing the best that you can. But, during the Better Together podcast, this is a place where you can learn how to get better in the places that you know that you need to get better.

Today's conversation is with Kristin Funston, author of the new book, More for Mom: Living the Whole and Holy Life - Isn't that a great title! In this really real convo, Kristin and I discuss why moms often feel like they are left out of Jesus' abundant life promise in John 10:10. We also talk about how to keep from losing it big over everyday things like when the kids leave their shoes in the middle of the floor (even though you've told them for the 100th time to pick.them.up)!

Sweet mom, you haven't done anything for yourself today, listen to today's conversation. It's my gift to you!

P.S. In the podcast intro, I also share a fun tip of what I used to do when I got tired of hearing my kids constantly "MOM!" You can use this tip, too. And you're welcome - ha!

PODCAST RESOURCES:

Kristin Funston   Website |  Facebook  | Instagram

More for Mom: Living Your Whole and Holy Life  

About Kristin:

With a passion for writing, Kristin Funston encourages women in a way that is relateable and practical, with a healthy dose of humor. In addition to being a writer, Funston is a member and employee of Hope Presbyterian Church and works as the Marriage and Family Coordinator and a leader in the women's ministry.

Convinced "balance" is a myth, Funston is also passionate about helping and encouraging women to embrace their current season and experience God in the everyday. She shares her humor and writing on motherhood on her blog and has been featured on multiple other blogs including The Better Mom, City Moms Blog, TODAY Parenting, and Scary Mommy.

Funston has a master's degree in Communication Studies from New Mexico State University. A mom to three girls and not-so-domestic wife to an entrepreneurial athlete, Funston and her family live outside of Memphis, TN. "More for Mom" is her first book. Learn more at KristinFunston.com. She is also active on Facebook (KristinDFunston) and Instagram (@kfunston).

Easter Reflections: From Can’t to Committed

Easter Reflections: From Can’t to Committed

As I walked out of Kroger around 10 pm one night, a woman stopped me on the sidewalk between the store and the parking lot.  

“Excuse me, Miss.” 

I smiled. As the mother of two daughters in their 20’s, I’m not exactly “Miss” material anymore. 

Two women sat looking up at me from motorized shopping carts with full plastic bags draped all around the cart like beige balloons. They were older women in Sunday-best clothes, looking quite dressed up to be hanging out at the grocery store so late on a week night. 

The older woman spoke up. “Miss, do you think that you can give her a ride home?”  She nodded her head over to the woman sitting in a motorized cart next to her.  “My ride will be here in a minute and I want to make sure that she gets home safe. Unfortunately, my ride can’t take her.” 

My eyebrows lifted. This lady didn’t even know my name, but trusted that I wasn’t a violent criminal who needed milk and eggs for breakfast the next morning.   

It was 10 pm at night and I wanted to go home. I didn’t want to be at the grocery store to begin with. Now, I just agreed to drop off a stranger at an unknown location. I had no idea if the two women were in cahoots or if there was someone at the other end with nefarious intentions toward a middle-aged, African-American woman. 

“Ummm…okay.” That was my reply. 

The woman who’d asked me for a ride reached over and patted her hand. 

 “Honey, I told you that it was going to be alright.”  

I hopped in my car and stashed my purse behind the driver’s seat under a pile of reusable shopping bags. Did I have anything in my purse of value? Heck no. But what if she was planning to steal my purse (which actually only cost me $13 at Kohl’s after Kohl’s Cash, Kohl’s Rewards and a 30% discount was applied). It wasn’t like I had anything of great value to lose. While my debit card and credit cards were in my wallet, let’s just say that no one was flying to Tahiti on my dime. 

I battled alternating feelings of annoyance and the prickles of fear as I pulled my car up to the curb . 

“Oh, thank you, honey,” the woman gushed. “I didn’t know what I was going to do if you didn’t help me.”  

I loaded her groceries into my car while she hoisted her body into the front seat of my full-size SUV. She moved slowly, not from physical ailment, but a woman who looked like she was carrying the weight of the world. 

I took a deep breathe and prayed that I wasn't making a big mistake. “So, where would you like me to take you?” 

I plugged her address into my GPS and noticed that I was heading toward an area of town that I’m not fond of driving through during the daytime. Before putting my phone down, I sent a quick text to my daughter and asked her to check in on my location on our family tracking app. 

An uncomfortable convicting question whispered loud enough so that I couldn’t miss it: Is it that you only like helping people when it fits into your schedule?  Crap. 

I quietly asked God to forgive me for being such a brat and decided to actually show up and have a servant’s heart.  “How long have you lived on that side of town?” 

I noticed that she didn’t seem the least bit concerned that a stranger was driving her home. Huh.  She replied, “I haven’t been there but a couple of months. That house is a blessing for me and my kids.” 

She went on to tell me about escaping a violent husband who’d physically abused her for over a decade. My heart sank as she talked about all of times when she tried to leave but didn’t have anywhere to go. “But, a few months ago, I left. I didn’t take anything with me but my kids. I finally got us out of there.” 

Her first place didn’t have furniture and it had no heat. But she described it like someone would describe a new construction in a luxury development. “And we were finally safe.”  

I thought about how challenging the last few years of my life have been, but I never had to worry about heat or feeding my kids.  

I asked about her children. She pulled out her phone and showed me her kids and grand-kids. “And here’s a picture of my 24-year old daughter. She died last year.” 

“I’m so sorry,” was all that I could say. 

She showed me more pictures of her children and grandchildren. In some ways, I could understand why she didn’t seem to mind a ride from a stranger considering all of the hurt and danger she’d faced in her lifetime. It was a humbling ride across town for me. An invitation to walk in the footsteps of the Good Samaritan. Too bad I failed miserably. Yet, I still had a chance to hear her story and spend a few minutes learning about a world that far too many of us judge without taking the time to ask questions or understand. Me, included. 

As we pulled up to a shabby, but mostly secure-looking home, she looked over and smiled at me. She said, “We’ve got heat here. I found this place and the man let me rent it for a good price. I asked around and people helped me with furniture. Me and the kids are alright here.”  

I hopped out of the car to help her make her way on up to the front door and I would go back and grab her groceries. It took a few trips, but I was able to sneak peaks here and there. The front door opened as I dropped the last of the bags on a plastic table and chairs sitting on the worn front porch. 

“Honey, thank you again for driving me home. I really appreciate it.” 

 I hadn’t remembered that night until I began to think about Easter. As I thought about this story, I am both embarrassed and grateful. Embarrassed that her need revealed my selfishness, but grateful that God illuminated that humbling revelation.  

We get to celebrate Easter because Jesus didn’t take the safe way out. He put himself in a dark, difficult, and dangerous place for our salvation. As Ann Voscamp wrote in The Broken Way:  “How many times have I thought it was safety that mattered, when Jesus already died to save us? No one ever got saved unless someone else was willing to be unsafe.” (pg. 204) 

How often do we skip helping or serving others because we’re afraid of what might happen to us?  

We can’t go there because what it we catch something from them? 

We can’t help them because what if they steal our purse or car while we’re there? 

We can’t help them because if we do, they’ll never learn how to help themselves?  

I don’t know about you, but I’m so glad that Jesus didn’t ask those questions about whether or not He would die for me. As I consider the tremendous love that Jesus showed me by giving His life for mine, I am committed to love like Jesus even more.  

Committed to pitching in instead of being annoyed by inconvenience. 

Committed to humility instead of fighting to be right; 

Committed to unconditional love instead of avoiding out of fear. 

 

As you experience Easter this year and consider afresh how Jesus’ loving willingness to be unsafe and suffer was the path to your eternal security, how might you demonstrate that same kind of love in order to live out the gospel to others? 

 

When God Says No | Interview with Janet McHenry

When God Says No | Interview with Janet McHenry

What do we do when God says no to what we've been praying for?

If you've clicked over to this podcast, let me tell you right now: You're supposed to be here right now. I don't even know about your life. But, I know that you need to click play on this episode and hear what my friend, Janet McHenry, has to say. She's the best-selling author of the book, Prayer walk, and the author of the newest book, The Complete Prayers of Jesus.

Today, Janet speaks powerful, divine wisdom into the hard question: What do we do when God says no?

He didn't heal your loved one;

He didn't stop your parent from abandoning you;

He allowed the divorce to happen;

He hasn't rescued your child from drugs;

He's allowed your financial or legal trouble to cost you everything.

You aren't alone if you're confused or angry because God hasn't answered your prayer the way that you'd hoped. There are verses in the Bible about God giving us the desires of our heart and God invites us to ask Him for anything. Yet, how do we reconcile God's command for us to pray and ask Him for anything, but He doesn't give us everything that we want. It's confusing, right?

As she walks us through Jesus' prayers, including the prayer where God says no to Jesus, Janet explains God's ultimate purpose for us in prayer. Her teaching is so, so, good! If you are hurting or angry at God, BUT you want to have a relationship with Him, then listen. If you're angry with God and not quite ready for her message today, that's okay. You can email me at barb@barbroose.com and share your story with me. I'd love to pray for you.

In today's episode, Janet and I discuss:

  • The two-sided coin prayer that Jesus prayed - and we can pray this, too!
  • Three actions that Jesus took when God said no to Jesus' prayer - and we must do this, too!
  • Janet shares the story of what happened in her life when God said no and even as the worst case scenario happened, Janet discovered the blessing that happened even when God said no.

About Janet McHenry    Website | Facebook | Instagram | Pinterest

Facebook Live Program: The Prayer Experiment at 12 PM PST

Israel Trip for Christian Writers/Speakers

The Complete Prayers of Jesus by Janet McHenry

Janet McHenry is an award-winning speaker and the author of 24 books, including the bestselling Prayer Walk and her newest, The Complete Guide to the Prayers of Jesus. Director of the prayer ministries at The Bridge Church in Reno, she prayer walks with her community in the Sierra Valley in northern California, where she and her rancher, husband Craig raised four children.

 

About your Better Together podcast host...

Barb Roose is a popular speaker and author who is passionate about equipping women to win at life with Christ-empowered strength and dignity. Barb loves speaking at women's conference and leadership events such as the Aspire Women's Events, She Speaks Conference and the UMC Leadership Institute.

Barb is the author of multiple books and Bible studies, including her newest the releases Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle Bible Study and Winning the Worry Battle book. An avid traveler, reader, and lover of all things chocolate-peanut butter, Barb lives with her family in NW Ohio. Visit Barb's online home at barbroose.com.

Check out this episode!

Stressed Out About Your Adult Kids?

Stressed Out About Your Adult Kids?

Today, I’m thinking of my girls. Being a mom of three adult daughters is quite a thing.

One’s deployed in the Middle East, one lives around the corner, and the last little birdie is counting down until she moves out this fall.

It’s not easy. I’m watching them wrestle with some pretty high-level, hard stuff. They’re grappling with pain that I wished that I could have saved them from. But I also know that I can’t rob them of God’s journey for their life.

As much as I want to take away their pain in life, I am reminded that God made me and shaped me in the wilderness of hardship, heartache, and my own bad decisions. I must trust that He will do the same in their lives.

Today, I’m reminded as the mother of adult daughters that God is God in every aspect of their life. My days of knowing everything are over, but I don’t have to worry, God is on the job! He always has been.

Mom, we don’t have to meddle, nag, stress out, or freak out about what’s going on.

But we do need to trust.

We must let go and let God BE God in their lives instead of trying to replace God in their lives. As I say in my Winning the Worry Battle book, our adult kids will never get desperate for God if they know what we give them all the answers or keep bailing them out.

Mom, if you’ve been stressed out and holding onto tight to your adult kids, perhaps today you might join me in this prayer:

Dear God, I need to let go and let You be God in my adult child’s life. I need to stop trying to control or nag. I choose to let go of my fears and worries - even as my child is making bad decisions. I will let go of control and choose to hold onto Your promises for his or her life. You love them. Your eye is always on them. And You know what’s best for their life. So this is me letting go and holding onto You. In Jesus’ name, amen.

What is the hardest part about being a parent to an adult son or daughter? Join the conversation and leave a comment below!

P.S. There’s is a great Secondhand Worry section in my Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle Bible Study about how to let go of our worries and fears about others - with great tools that you can start using today! Click here to order!

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